- Pope Hilarius II
- Nov 10, 2008
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What's the deal with the terms “tane”, “plape”, “orb”, and “bubungo”? (self.OutOfTheLoop)
memes invented by the memelords and funnymen of gbs, the #1 comedy factory of the SA forums
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Dec 11, 2018 16:03
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 18:36
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
Welp that settles that!
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Dec 11, 2018 16:18
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- Mr. Lobe
- Feb 23, 2007
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... Dry bones...
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
Man, if she still goes for the "sperm donation", I would not want to be one of her kids. Imagine the kind of baggage she is planning on projecting onto them for the duration of their childhoods.
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Dec 11, 2018 16:22
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- Theophany
- Jul 22, 2014
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SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO
2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
Ah jesus. 
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Dec 11, 2018 16:28
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
this is somehow less bad than if she was sincerely just into eugenics and wanted her husband out of the gene pool
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Dec 11, 2018 16:30
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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this is somehow less bad than if she was sincerely just into eugenics and wanted her husband out of the gene pool
It's easier to explain when telling everyone why you're divorcing, anyways.
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Dec 11, 2018 16:32
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- Admiralty Flag
- Jun 7, 2007
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to ride eternal, shiny and chrome
THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022
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My wife and I had a disagreement on how to handle a matter with one of the kids this morning. We were pretty firmly on opposite sides of the issue. She had to leave to get to work, so we couldn't come to a conclusion. I admit I felt a little resentful that she left before we resolved it (irrational as that feeling is given the circumstances) and though I may be projecting it seemed like she was annoyed with me about my viewpoint. Tonight, we'll get to an agreement, especially as we'll have the day to reflect on and potentially change our stances.
Then I look at the unread posts in this thread and thank God that this is the worst it usually gets between us.
Dear Reddit, my wife and I disagreed this morning, she was being completely irrational (I don't want to get into the details but she was completely wrong, just trust me on this), but then she claimed she had to "leave for work" before we could resolve it. Is she cheating on me? Or do I need to open the relationship to save it? (I'm not worried; I'm sure I'll bang a whole bunch of hot chicks while she doesn't get any action.)
P.S. I looked through her phone (I know, I violated her privacy, but she's my soulmate so it's my right to do this) and found a whole bunch of texts that had nothing to do with an affair. This definitely means she deleted all incriminating messages because she's stepping out, right?
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Dec 11, 2018 17:01
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- Alan_Shore
- Dec 2, 2004
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Tell us about the disagreement you coward!
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Dec 11, 2018 17:05
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Tell us about the disagreement you coward!
Yeah don't leave us hanging!
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Dec 11, 2018 17:06
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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it's Reddit so the odds are excellent that any given post is written by some redpill guy
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Dec 11, 2018 17:10
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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My fiancé [29M] lied to me [31F] about why he was written up at work. Now that I know the truth I'm not sure how to feel about it or what to do.
Sorry for the vague title, I didn't know how to concisely describe the issue. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. To my knowledge, he has never lied to me before. I've never felt I couldn't trust him or had reason to believe he was keeping things from me.
Which brings us to recently. He came home from work in a really bad mood and when I asked why said he had been written up. The explanation he gave was that he was "goofing off." It took me several tries to get him to clarify what that meant, but he finally answered that it was just that his work computer showed too much time spent on sites like YouTube. My fiancé is honestly a goody-two-shoes and I chalked up him being so pissed off about it as being embarrassed. Whatever, I think it's dumb that his company writes people up, anyway. A couple days later I was using his laptop and pulled up his messages and saw some back and forth with a coworker of his I don't know of at all that referenced being written up and made it sound like they were written up together.
I asked about it later and he came clean. He said he lied, the reason he was written up was because he and his coworker skipped work one afternoon. Like they legit just up and left for several hours. He immediately started apologizing for lying, he said he swears it wasn't as bad as it seems, that they just went and saw a movie. He said the only reason he lied was because he was embarrassed by how stupid it was and he didn't want me to worry because there was nothing to worry about. They're just friends.
I told him that by lying he made the situation look worse and he just said he knows and he's sorry. I told him I needed time to think. And...here I am. I don't know what to think. He's never lied to me before. And then here's this gorgeous new coworker I've never heard of before that he's apparently good enough friends to be skipping out of work to go see a loving movie with? That is just so unlike him. He's the type of guy who refuses to go 5 mph over the speed limit He couldn't even keep his proposal a secret from me.
Someone please bring me back down to earth. Am I freaking out over nothing? Or am I right to be insanely concerned about this? What do I do?
TL;DR: My fiancé that never lies about anything and hates breaking rules got written up at work for skipping an afternoon to go see a movie with a female coworker. Then he lied to me about it. I don't know what to even think.
EDIT: He just sent me a loving email to tell me that he has feelings for her and that he needs time to "think" and will be sleeping in the apartment above our garage for a while. What. The. gently caress.
men
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Dec 11, 2018 17:12
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
what a kick in the nuts
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Dec 11, 2018 17:16
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Also women
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Dec 11, 2018 17:16
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- Zzulu
- May 15, 2009
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(▰˘v˘▰)
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Yeah it feels like there are a lot of incels/bitter men making up fantasy stories on Reddit. Some of these are basically straight out of the fiction incels used to spout on their own forums
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Dec 11, 2018 17:21
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- andrew smash
- Jun 26, 2006
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smooth soul
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My fiancé [29M] lied to me [31F] about why he was written up at work. Now that I know the truth I'm not sure how to feel about it or what to do.
Sorry for the vague title, I didn't know how to concisely describe the issue. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. To my knowledge, he has never lied to me before. I've never felt I couldn't trust him or had reason to believe he was keeping things from me.
Which brings us to recently. He came home from work in a really bad mood and when I asked why said he had been written up. The explanation he gave was that he was "goofing off." It took me several tries to get him to clarify what that meant, but he finally answered that it was just that his work computer showed too much time spent on sites like YouTube. My fiancé is honestly a goody-two-shoes and I chalked up him being so pissed off about it as being embarrassed. Whatever, I think it's dumb that his company writes people up, anyway. A couple days later I was using his laptop and pulled up his messages and saw some back and forth with a coworker of his I don't know of at all that referenced being written up and made it sound like they were written up together.
I asked about it later and he came clean. He said he lied, the reason he was written up was because he and his coworker skipped work one afternoon. Like they legit just up and left for several hours. He immediately started apologizing for lying, he said he swears it wasn't as bad as it seems, that they just went and saw a movie. He said the only reason he lied was because he was embarrassed by how stupid it was and he didn't want me to worry because there was nothing to worry about. They're just friends.
I told him that by lying he made the situation look worse and he just said he knows and he's sorry. I told him I needed time to think. And...here I am. I don't know what to think. He's never lied to me before. And then here's this gorgeous new coworker I've never heard of before that he's apparently good enough friends to be skipping out of work to go see a loving movie with? That is just so unlike him. He's the type of guy who refuses to go 5 mph over the speed limit He couldn't even keep his proposal a secret from me.
Someone please bring me back down to earth. Am I freaking out over nothing? Or am I right to be insanely concerned about this? What do I do?
TL;DR: My fiancé that never lies about anything and hates breaking rules got written up at work for skipping an afternoon to go see a movie with a female coworker. Then he lied to me about it. I don't know what to even think.
EDIT: He just sent me a loving email to tell me that he has feelings for her and that he needs time to "think" and will be sleeping in the apartment above our garage for a while. What. The. gently caress.
Lmao this one owns
I think the eugenics cuck story is fake
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Dec 11, 2018 17:31
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- Blorange
- Jan 31, 2007
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A wizard did it
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UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids
Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.
This was my immediate prediction from the original post, the ONLY reason she'd want something this insane was that she was already cheating on him and wanted cover for a potential baby.
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Dec 11, 2018 17:33
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- Brother Entropy
- Dec 27, 2009
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well now we're going places
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Dec 11, 2018 17:48
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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Why do people do stuff like this?
For our entertainment.
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Dec 11, 2018 17:50
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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Ok, fine, I want to have the boys de-circumcised via a series of skin grafts from the soles of their feet and scalps. I told you it was no big deal. And if you disagree with me you're disrespecting my culture. (My culture is Judenhass.)
PS They're foster kids, but this is totally a minor medical procedure so I don't have to get the social worker's approval first, right? Can someone with a knowledge of Sovereign Law confirm?
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Dec 11, 2018 17:58
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Do you live in San Francisco? Because their uncircumcised friends are already drinking
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Dec 11, 2018 18:19
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- andrew smash
- Jun 26, 2006
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smooth soul
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You people are morons
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Dec 11, 2018 18:20
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- Zzulu
- May 15, 2009
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(▰˘v˘▰)
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I wish people would leave toddlers penises alone
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Dec 11, 2018 19:00
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Yeah it feels like there are a lot of incels/bitter men making up fantasy stories on Reddit. Some of these are basically straight out of the fiction incels used to spout on their own forums
Reddit's very specific brand of misogyny runs so rampant over there because so many posters really identify as exactly the kind of beta males they're talking about. Dudes who have nothing to offer beyond, at best, a stable income - they've got the personality of a boiled turd in a hat; their interests are playing videogames dickishly and griping online; the nicest thing anyone who knows them can find to say about them is they're a "good provider" or a "nice guy"; if they were such exceptional lovers as to make up for their total deficiency elsewhere they'd be Chad instead of whining about him nonstop. Of course the partners they can find don't respect them and will trade up when anything better than the bare minimum presents itself.
I think most of them are accurately describing their lived experience, the kind of person who holds themselves in such contempt that they'd dream up a fantasy of being called too ugly to reproduce by their spouse just to better feel sorry for themselves wouldn't have much trouble finding someone out there who concurs with that assessment. The lie is in universalizing that as some global feminarchy only they are aware of instead of the unique problems of an unlikeable rear end in a top hat settling for whoever will tolerate their presence. A more reflective person in their position would consider that maybe if they resent being valued merely for their incredibly lame and unsexy redeeming qualities they should work on making themselves more attractive on the terms they want to be found attractive on and find someone who values that; but that guy wouldn't be spending his time whining about ungrateful Stacies on Reddit.
I think they're playing along with the joke is all
....I hope
I miss feeling this kind of sunny optimism
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Dec 11, 2018
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Dec 11, 2018 19:15
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- Admiral Ray
- May 17, 2014
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Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
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In our hubris we have created the Dickfoot, a creature without a nation or a people. While nominally human in form, it lacks the genital arrangement common to the working class, which typically take the form of a well defined hammer or sickle though some are born with a clawed hammer or blunted sickle. Instead, a Dickfoot has an actual foot, toes and pedicured nails and light essential oil scents and all. They blend in with society. They hold jobs, eat food, and spend time in the bathroom. Their unnatural tendencies reveal themselves in small ways. Pouring milk before cereal, listening to others and empathizing with them, and inhibiting their selfish responses in order to ensure that others have a chance at success. These tendencies will result in our destruction. We must defend ourselves. We must fight.
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Dec 11, 2018 19:36
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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A different subreddit has an important reminder: find out who you're actually dating.
quote:So my girlfriend turned out to be married
In case it matters, I'm 26 and Amy is 24.
Six months ago, I met Amy at a local park while walking my dog, and we hit things off pretty well after the are-we-both-gay dance. I've been out for a while, Amy is from a very conservative and religious family and isn't out to them. She told me she's appreciate not adding each other on social media in case her snoopy parents find out, not until she finishes her master's and isn't dependent on her family. Red flag, I know, but she was really cute and it had been a few years since I'd had a stable girlfriend.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, we always met at my apartment for sex and she started leaving some of her things with me. I thought everything was going really well and was thinking we should talk about making things serious this spring when she finishes her master's.
A few days ago was our six month anniversary, and we decided to go to a lingerie boutique to get something special for each other. Amy had never gotten a professionally fitted bra before, and everything went really well until it was time to buy. Amy asked me to cover it all on my card and she wasn't sure when she'd be able to pay me back. I got worried and asked her if something was wrong, she denied it, and I bought everything to avoid making a scene at the store. When we got back to my apartment and I confronted her, she blurted out that her husband checked her bank account regularly and would never approve of her buying lingerie, and that he would notice her transferring money to someone he doesn't know.
Wait, husband?
So yeah it turns out Amy has been married for six years and has three kids. I got really angry and asked her how she could have lied to me about something like that, I was okay with her not coming out until she was ready but I didn't sign on for a married woman. Amy started bawling about how she was pressured into marrying a guy right out of high school and hated having sex with him and never knew why until she met me and something clicked, and she was planning on leaving her family for me and oh she's pregnant with kid number four and she wants me to be the kid's other parent. I told her I never would have dated her if I'd known she was married and do not want to deal with any of this crap and after some more fighting I kicked her out of my apartment.
It's been three days now and I still don't know wtf to do. Amy's really nice and funny and I sympathize with the family pressure thing, but no way am I continuing to date a married woman. We haven't spoken a word since, and I'm thinking about calling her to arrange a meeting to give her stuff back, then severing.
In the event Amy's marriage implodes, is there anything I can do to avoid getting tangled up in that? I don't want to get Amy in trouble, but I want to put this mess firmly behind me.
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Dec 11, 2018 20:26
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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One thing Reddit has taught me is to get your story out first to everyone before the other person can shape the narrative.
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Dec 11, 2018 20:33
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- kimbo305
- Jun 9, 2007
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actually, yeah, I am a little mad
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A different subreddit has an important reminder: find out who you're actually dating.
Gonna need dat link.
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Dec 11, 2018 20:35
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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Looks like the thread's been deleted by mods already. What I saw of the thread comments was pretty vitriolic.
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Dec 11, 2018 20:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 18:36
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- JaneError
- Feb 4, 2016
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how would i even breathe on the moon?
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Me [27/f] with my boyfriend [28/m] 2.5 years. His very catholic grandmother (80ish?) "discovered" I had an abortion earlier in my life. Whole family losing their minds.
quote:
In my early 20's I discovered I was pregnant in the midst of being kicked out/broken up with by my partner at the time, who had also stolen thousands of dollars from me. I was essentially broke and homeless, so I decided to get an abortion. My family, friends, and I have never had hang ups around abortion. It was crappy and I wish the whole pregnancy didn't happen, but I am still VERY sure I made the right choice considering the path my life has taken since then I wouldn't change my decision. It has never been a secret that I had an abortion, but also not something I tend to go shouting at people.
That brings to me to my partner and his family. His family, particularly his grandmother, are VERY catholic. Like, once invited the neighbors over for dinner then told their children Santa isn't real but Catholicism is kind of catholic. He is not and a number of his cousins and aunts and uncles don't really subscribe anymore, but they are all pretty respectful of grandma's strong Catholicism and do the prayers at family dinners and that kind of thing. Given this fact I am picky about what family of his I allow as friends on social media because many of my political views do not jive with catholiscism.
So somehow, its not quite clear how, someone (and no one has plainly admitted or told me yet who, but I have a strong suspicion it is my partner's sister in law, his brother's wife) stumbled upon a post I had made a few years ago when some sort of federal issue around abortion was going on where I referenced my own experience and broght this to his grandmother's attention. She is NOT on any of my social media and did not find it on her own.
So of course it gets brought up as my partner is cooking dinner for all of us last weekend (grandma, is mom, his brother, sister in law). I try to shut it down pretty quick and just express I'm not comfortable talking about that and tell his grandmother "its very personal, so I'd rather not talk about that here right now." However, she begins to go on a long rant and saying things that I find pretty insulting, essentially calling me a murderer and saying I'm "pro-death" and discussing what kind of things I need to do to be forgiven now and things like that. I said "Grandma, I respect that you and I have different beliefs and views on this issue. However, if you keep talking about me and to me like this I'll have to leave." And she sort of turned it into a "well I'm concerned for your soul" sort of deal but kept essentially calling me evil. So I went out to my boyfriend, who did not witness this initial weirdness because he was cooking outside and told him I had the leave and why. So he went inside and tried to ask that his grandma drop it but she was pretty upset too and kept saying the same sort of things and was concerned about what "influence" I had on his life so we left half cooked food on the grill and we both left.
In the week sense there has been sort a divide/meltdown rippling through his family. Grandma is definitely the matriarch and very much in control over a lot of the family. Some of his extended family is upset and thinks I (and then my boyfriend) disrespected her by leaving. I wouldn't say so many are very upset about the abortion thing, but there are a few. And then some are very supportive and kind to me about it, which then makes the ones who think I was rude and disrespectful by leaving are angry and now multiple people are upset with each other and I just wanted to eat BBQ in peace.
I've thought it might be best to just step out for a month of two. I really do love his family and they are good people and I have no family within thousands of miles of my own, but I also refuse to be talked to like that- I don't care who's grandma you are or what your faith tells you. I am worried there is no chance of me getting back "in" with them and its going to be a cause of drama basically until grandma kicks the bucket. My Partner isn't sure if he should hold back with me, or try to bridge relations and honestly I'm not either. Is there anyway to convince an 80 year old woman to just let it go?
tl;dr I got an abortion years ago, well before this relationship. Current partner's very catholic grandma finds out, gets upset/emotional. I refuse to discuss it with her and leave. Now a very large chunk of his family think I'm a bad person/disrespected his grandma. Would like to repair things because I really like them all but also refuse to be preached at about my personal choices.
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Dec 11, 2018 20:43
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Dec 11, 2018 16:03
Cat Army 
