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Pope Hilarius II
Nov 10, 2008

Meme Emulator posted:

What's the deal with the terms “tane”, “plape”, “orb”, and “bubungo”? (self.OutOfTheLoop)

memes invented by the memelords and funnymen of gbs, the #1 comedy factory of the SA forums

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MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

Welp that settles that!

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

Man, if she still goes for the "sperm donation", I would not want to be one of her kids. Imagine the kind of baggage she is planning on projecting onto them for the duration of their childhoods.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

Ah jesus. :smith:

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Feminism means women also idiotically blowing up their lives for strange.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

this is somehow less bad than if she was sincerely just into eugenics and wanted her husband out of the gene pool

Zedd
Jul 6, 2009

I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?



Doc Hawkins posted:

Feminism means women also idiotically blowing up their lives for strange.
Unironically agreeing that it's progress. Now all people can bombard their own relationship for dumb reasons.

Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

this is somehow less bad than if she was sincerely just into eugenics and wanted her husband out of the gene pool

It's easier to explain when telling everyone why you're divorcing, anyways.

Admiralty Flag
Jun 7, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

My wife and I had a disagreement on how to handle a matter with one of the kids this morning. We were pretty firmly on opposite sides of the issue. She had to leave to get to work, so we couldn't come to a conclusion. I admit I felt a little resentful that she left before we resolved it (irrational as that feeling is given the circumstances) and though I may be projecting it seemed like she was annoyed with me about my viewpoint. Tonight, we'll get to an agreement, especially as we'll have the day to reflect on and potentially change our stances.

Then I look at the unread posts in this thread and thank God that this is the worst it usually gets between us.


Dear Reddit, my wife and I disagreed this morning, she was being completely irrational (I don't want to get into the details but she was completely wrong, just trust me on this), but then she claimed she had to "leave for work" before we could resolve it. Is she cheating on me? Or do I need to open the relationship to save it? (I'm not worried; I'm sure I'll bang a whole bunch of hot chicks while she doesn't get any action.)

P.S. I looked through her phone (I know, I violated her privacy, but she's my soulmate so it's my right to do this) and found a whole bunch of texts that had nothing to do with an affair. This definitely means she deleted all incriminating messages because she's stepping out, right?

Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

Tell us about the disagreement you coward!

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Alan_Shore posted:

Tell us about the disagreement you coward!

Yeah don't leave us hanging!

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


I feel like all these stories about women cheating on their husbands are written by MRA incels.

Not all of them, actually, but the ones that are I feel like have very obvious tells. Like this one immediately shifting to revenge fantasy and the writer actually being a very powerful lawyer

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

it's Reddit so the odds are excellent that any given post is written by some redpill guy

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My fiancé [29M] lied to me [31F] about why he was written up at work. Now that I know the truth I'm not sure how to feel about it or what to do.

Sorry for the vague title, I didn't know how to concisely describe the issue. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. To my knowledge, he has never lied to me before. I've never felt I couldn't trust him or had reason to believe he was keeping things from me.

Which brings us to recently. He came home from work in a really bad mood and when I asked why said he had been written up. The explanation he gave was that he was "goofing off." It took me several tries to get him to clarify what that meant, but he finally answered that it was just that his work computer showed too much time spent on sites like YouTube. My fiancé is honestly a goody-two-shoes and I chalked up him being so pissed off about it as being embarrassed. Whatever, I think it's dumb that his company writes people up, anyway. A couple days later I was using his laptop and pulled up his messages and saw some back and forth with a coworker of his I don't know of at all that referenced being written up and made it sound like they were written up together.

I asked about it later and he came clean. He said he lied, the reason he was written up was because he and his coworker skipped work one afternoon. Like they legit just up and left for several hours. He immediately started apologizing for lying, he said he swears it wasn't as bad as it seems, that they just went and saw a movie. He said the only reason he lied was because he was embarrassed by how stupid it was and he didn't want me to worry because there was nothing to worry about. They're just friends.

I told him that by lying he made the situation look worse and he just said he knows and he's sorry. I told him I needed time to think. And...here I am. I don't know what to think. He's never lied to me before. And then here's this gorgeous new coworker I've never heard of before that he's apparently good enough friends to be skipping out of work to go see a loving movie with? That is just so unlike him. He's the type of guy who refuses to go 5 mph over the speed limit He couldn't even keep his proposal a secret from me.

Someone please bring me back down to earth. Am I freaking out over nothing? Or am I right to be insanely concerned about this? What do I do?

TL;DR: My fiancé that never lies about anything and hates breaking rules got written up at work for skipping an afternoon to go see a movie with a female coworker. Then he lied to me about it. I don't know what to even think.

EDIT: He just sent me a loving email to tell me that he has feelings for her and that he needs time to "think" and will be sleeping in the apartment above our garage for a while. What. The. gently caress.

men

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

what a kick in the nuts

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007


Also women

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
Yeah it feels like there are a lot of incels/bitter men making up fantasy stories on Reddit. Some of these are basically straight out of the fiction incels used to spout on their own forums

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My fiancé [29M] lied to me [31F] about why he was written up at work. Now that I know the truth I'm not sure how to feel about it or what to do.

Sorry for the vague title, I didn't know how to concisely describe the issue. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years. To my knowledge, he has never lied to me before. I've never felt I couldn't trust him or had reason to believe he was keeping things from me.

Which brings us to recently. He came home from work in a really bad mood and when I asked why said he had been written up. The explanation he gave was that he was "goofing off." It took me several tries to get him to clarify what that meant, but he finally answered that it was just that his work computer showed too much time spent on sites like YouTube. My fiancé is honestly a goody-two-shoes and I chalked up him being so pissed off about it as being embarrassed. Whatever, I think it's dumb that his company writes people up, anyway. A couple days later I was using his laptop and pulled up his messages and saw some back and forth with a coworker of his I don't know of at all that referenced being written up and made it sound like they were written up together.

I asked about it later and he came clean. He said he lied, the reason he was written up was because he and his coworker skipped work one afternoon. Like they legit just up and left for several hours. He immediately started apologizing for lying, he said he swears it wasn't as bad as it seems, that they just went and saw a movie. He said the only reason he lied was because he was embarrassed by how stupid it was and he didn't want me to worry because there was nothing to worry about. They're just friends.

I told him that by lying he made the situation look worse and he just said he knows and he's sorry. I told him I needed time to think. And...here I am. I don't know what to think. He's never lied to me before. And then here's this gorgeous new coworker I've never heard of before that he's apparently good enough friends to be skipping out of work to go see a loving movie with? That is just so unlike him. He's the type of guy who refuses to go 5 mph over the speed limit He couldn't even keep his proposal a secret from me.

Someone please bring me back down to earth. Am I freaking out over nothing? Or am I right to be insanely concerned about this? What do I do?

TL;DR: My fiancé that never lies about anything and hates breaking rules got written up at work for skipping an afternoon to go see a movie with a female coworker. Then he lied to me about it. I don't know what to even think.

EDIT: He just sent me a loving email to tell me that he has feelings for her and that he needs time to "think" and will be sleeping in the apartment above our garage for a while. What. The. gently caress.

Lmao this one owns

I think the eugenics cuck story is fake

Blorange
Jan 31, 2007

A wizard did it

KernelFailure posted:

UPDATE Wife [26F] wants to use a sperm donor because she wants attractive kids


Update: Could not sleep last night and woke my wife up at 4am resulting in a 2hr discussion which involved both of us crying and me calling off from work today. I tried, I really did, to understand why she was saying this and where she was coming from so I wouldn't regret bringing up the word divorce. I asked if she knew a donor and she kept mentioning her colleague/our friend which I didn't think much of at first, Turns out, she's been cheating on me with him (a married man who has been to our house multiple times for dinner, whose loving hands I shaked) and realized she wanted her kids to be like him (a handsome doctor). I've locked myself in the guest bedroom for the past hour and a half since she's dropped this on me and just have been bawling my eyes out like a goddamn baby. Once I get my poo poo together, I'll probably call my partner at the firm and begin divorce proceedings- I am going to destroy her in court; theres nothing amicable about this. I've also since come to the sickening realization that neither my wife nor her colleague will tell his wife, so I now bear that responsibility as well. I have to tell my friends and my family and I don't know how I'm going to look anyone in the eye after this. I feel so empty.

This was my immediate prediction from the original post, the ONLY reason she'd want something this insane was that she was already cheating on him and wanted cover for a potential baby.

Admiralty Flag
Jun 7, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Alan_Shore posted:

Tell us about the disagreement you coward!

Ok, fine, I want to have the boys de-circumcised via a series of skin grafts from the soles of their feet and scalps. I told you it was no big deal. And if you disagree with me you're disrespecting my culture. (My culture is Judenhass.)

PS They're foster kids, but this is totally a minor medical procedure so I don't have to get the social worker's approval first, right? Can someone with a knowledge of Sovereign Law confirm?

Alan_Shore
Dec 2, 2004

Nonvalueadded User posted:

Ok, fine, I want to have the boys de-circumcised via a series of skin grafts from the soles of their feet and scalps. I told you it was no big deal. And if you disagree with me you're disrespecting my culture. (My culture is Judenhass.)

PS They're foster kids, but this is totally a minor medical procedure so I don't have to get the social worker's approval first, right? Can someone with a knowledge of Sovereign Law confirm?

:wtc:

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009

well now we're going places

Miserable Maid
Apr 22, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

OP posted:

I [M26] recently found out my "Step-Father" [M48] who just married my mother 2 years ago is currently having a sexual relationship with my wife of 4 years [F28] behind my back and has been since late summer or maybe even before that. What am I supposed to do? Should I tell my mother?

Ugh... This one made me get a nasty feeling in my stomach... :(

Why do people do stuff like this?

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

Miserable Maid posted:

Why do people do stuff like this?


For our entertainment.

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!

Miserable Maid posted:

Ugh... This one made me get a nasty feeling in my stomach... :(

Why do people do stuff like this?

because they are human garbage

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Nonvalueadded User posted:

Ok, fine, I want to have the boys de-circumcised via a series of skin grafts from the soles of their feet and scalps. I told you it was no big deal. And if you disagree with me you're disrespecting my culture. (My culture is Judenhass.)

PS They're foster kids, but this is totally a minor medical procedure so I don't have to get the social worker's approval first, right? Can someone with a knowledge of Sovereign Law confirm?
aww yeah gonna rock that hairy dick like a pro

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Nonvalueadded User posted:

Ok, fine, I want to have the boys de-circumcised via a series of skin grafts from the soles of their feet and scalps. I told you it was no big deal. And if you disagree with me you're disrespecting my culture. (My culture is Judenhass.)

PS They're foster kids, but this is totally a minor medical procedure so I don't have to get the social worker's approval first, right? Can someone with a knowledge of Sovereign Law confirm?

Are you trying to make the Abominable Dickfoot a reality? Leave the genetical and life manipulation to the gods and underpaid lab technicians.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Do you live in San Francisco? Because their uncircumcised friends are already drinking

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul
You people are morons

Miserable Maid
Apr 22, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
I think they're playing along with the joke is all


....I hope

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
I wish people would leave toddlers penises alone

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Zzulu posted:

Yeah it feels like there are a lot of incels/bitter men making up fantasy stories on Reddit. Some of these are basically straight out of the fiction incels used to spout on their own forums

Reddit's very specific brand of misogyny runs so rampant over there because so many posters really identify as exactly the kind of beta males they're talking about. Dudes who have nothing to offer beyond, at best, a stable income - they've got the personality of a boiled turd in a hat; their interests are playing videogames dickishly and griping online; the nicest thing anyone who knows them can find to say about them is they're a "good provider" or a "nice guy"; if they were such exceptional lovers as to make up for their total deficiency elsewhere they'd be Chad instead of whining about him nonstop. Of course the partners they can find don't respect them and will trade up when anything better than the bare minimum presents itself.

I think most of them are accurately describing their lived experience, the kind of person who holds themselves in such contempt that they'd dream up a fantasy of being called too ugly to reproduce by their spouse just to better feel sorry for themselves wouldn't have much trouble finding someone out there who concurs with that assessment. The lie is in universalizing that as some global feminarchy only they are aware of instead of the unique problems of an unlikeable rear end in a top hat settling for whoever will tolerate their presence. A more reflective person in their position would consider that maybe if they resent being valued merely for their incredibly lame and unsexy redeeming qualities they should work on making themselves more attractive on the terms they want to be found attractive on and find someone who values that; but that guy wouldn't be spending his time whining about ungrateful Stacies on Reddit.


Miserable Maid posted:

I think they're playing along with the joke is all


....I hope

I miss feeling this kind of sunny optimism

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Dec 11, 2018

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
In our hubris we have created the Dickfoot, a creature without a nation or a people. While nominally human in form, it lacks the genital arrangement common to the working class, which typically take the form of a well defined hammer or sickle though some are born with a clawed hammer or blunted sickle. Instead, a Dickfoot has an actual foot, toes and pedicured nails and light essential oil scents and all. They blend in with society. They hold jobs, eat food, and spend time in the bathroom. Their unnatural tendencies reveal themselves in small ways. Pouring milk before cereal, listening to others and empathizing with them, and inhibiting their selfish responses in order to ensure that others have a chance at success. These tendencies will result in our destruction. We must defend ourselves. We must fight.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
A different subreddit has an important reminder: find out who you're actually dating.

quote:

So my girlfriend turned out to be married

In case it matters, I'm 26 and Amy is 24.

Six months ago, I met Amy at a local park while walking my dog, and we hit things off pretty well after the are-we-both-gay dance. I've been out for a while, Amy is from a very conservative and religious family and isn't out to them. She told me she's appreciate not adding each other on social media in case her snoopy parents find out, not until she finishes her master's and isn't dependent on her family. Red flag, I know, but she was really cute and it had been a few years since I'd had a stable girlfriend.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, we always met at my apartment for sex and she started leaving some of her things with me. I thought everything was going really well and was thinking we should talk about making things serious this spring when she finishes her master's.

A few days ago was our six month anniversary, and we decided to go to a lingerie boutique to get something special for each other. Amy had never gotten a professionally fitted bra before, and everything went really well until it was time to buy. Amy asked me to cover it all on my card and she wasn't sure when she'd be able to pay me back. I got worried and asked her if something was wrong, she denied it, and I bought everything to avoid making a scene at the store. When we got back to my apartment and I confronted her, she blurted out that her husband checked her bank account regularly and would never approve of her buying lingerie, and that he would notice her transferring money to someone he doesn't know.

Wait, husband?

So yeah it turns out Amy has been married for six years and has three kids. I got really angry and asked her how she could have lied to me about something like that, I was okay with her not coming out until she was ready but I didn't sign on for a married woman. Amy started bawling about how she was pressured into marrying a guy right out of high school and hated having sex with him and never knew why until she met me and something clicked, and she was planning on leaving her family for me and oh she's pregnant with kid number four and she wants me to be the kid's other parent. I told her I never would have dated her if I'd known she was married and do not want to deal with any of this crap and after some more fighting I kicked her out of my apartment.

It's been three days now and I still don't know wtf to do. Amy's really nice and funny and I sympathize with the family pressure thing, but no way am I continuing to date a married woman. We haven't spoken a word since, and I'm thinking about calling her to arrange a meeting to give her stuff back, then severing.

In the event Amy's marriage implodes, is there anything I can do to avoid getting tangled up in that? I don't want to get Amy in trouble, but I want to put this mess firmly behind me.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


Save Amy. Oh God. It's terrible the position she's put you in but put her in a bag and drive out of town and just keep driving, get her out of there.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde
One thing Reddit has taught me is to get your story out first to everyone before the other person can shape the narrative.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Cythereal posted:

A different subreddit has an important reminder: find out who you're actually dating.

Gonna need dat link.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Cythereal posted:

A different subreddit has an important reminder: find out who you're actually dating.

quote:

I've been out for a while, Amy is from a very conservative and religious family and isn't out to them.

...

So yeah it turns out Amy has been married for six years and has three kids. I got really angry and asked her how she could have lied to me about something like that, I was okay with her not coming out until she was ready but I didn't sign on for a married woman. Amy started bawling about how she was pressured into marrying a guy right out of high school and hated having sex with him and never knew why until she met me and something clicked, and she was planning on leaving her family for me and oh she's pregnant with kid number four and she wants me to be the kid's other parent. I told her I never would have dated her if I'd known she was married and do not want to deal with any of this crap and after some more fighting I kicked her out of my apartment.

gently caress that sucks. You need to run though, just hit the road and listen to Dutch by Dessa on repeat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF3EcrRXO50

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

kimbo305 posted:

Gonna need dat link.

Looks like the thread's been deleted by mods already. What I saw of the thread comments was pretty vitriolic.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

JaneError
Feb 4, 2016

how would i even breathe on the moon?
Me [27/f] with my boyfriend [28/m] 2.5 years. His very catholic grandmother (80ish?) "discovered" I had an abortion earlier in my life. Whole family losing their minds.

quote:

In my early 20's I discovered I was pregnant in the midst of being kicked out/broken up with by my partner at the time, who had also stolen thousands of dollars from me. I was essentially broke and homeless, so I decided to get an abortion. My family, friends, and I have never had hang ups around abortion. It was crappy and I wish the whole pregnancy didn't happen, but I am still VERY sure I made the right choice considering the path my life has taken since then I wouldn't change my decision. It has never been a secret that I had an abortion, but also not something I tend to go shouting at people.

That brings to me to my partner and his family. His family, particularly his grandmother, are VERY catholic. Like, once invited the neighbors over for dinner then told their children Santa isn't real but Catholicism is kind of catholic. He is not and a number of his cousins and aunts and uncles don't really subscribe anymore, but they are all pretty respectful of grandma's strong Catholicism and do the prayers at family dinners and that kind of thing. Given this fact I am picky about what family of his I allow as friends on social media because many of my political views do not jive with catholiscism.

So somehow, its not quite clear how, someone (and no one has plainly admitted or told me yet who, but I have a strong suspicion it is my partner's sister in law, his brother's wife) stumbled upon a post I had made a few years ago when some sort of federal issue around abortion was going on where I referenced my own experience and broght this to his grandmother's attention. She is NOT on any of my social media and did not find it on her own.

So of course it gets brought up as my partner is cooking dinner for all of us last weekend (grandma, is mom, his brother, sister in law). I try to shut it down pretty quick and just express I'm not comfortable talking about that and tell his grandmother "its very personal, so I'd rather not talk about that here right now." However, she begins to go on a long rant and saying things that I find pretty insulting, essentially calling me a murderer and saying I'm "pro-death" and discussing what kind of things I need to do to be forgiven now and things like that. I said "Grandma, I respect that you and I have different beliefs and views on this issue. However, if you keep talking about me and to me like this I'll have to leave." And she sort of turned it into a "well I'm concerned for your soul" sort of deal but kept essentially calling me evil. So I went out to my boyfriend, who did not witness this initial weirdness because he was cooking outside and told him I had the leave and why. So he went inside and tried to ask that his grandma drop it but she was pretty upset too and kept saying the same sort of things and was concerned about what "influence" I had on his life so we left half cooked food on the grill and we both left.

In the week sense there has been sort a divide/meltdown rippling through his family. Grandma is definitely the matriarch and very much in control over a lot of the family. Some of his extended family is upset and thinks I (and then my boyfriend) disrespected her by leaving. I wouldn't say so many are very upset about the abortion thing, but there are a few. And then some are very supportive and kind to me about it, which then makes the ones who think I was rude and disrespectful by leaving are angry and now multiple people are upset with each other and I just wanted to eat BBQ in peace.

I've thought it might be best to just step out for a month of two. I really do love his family and they are good people and I have no family within thousands of miles of my own, but I also refuse to be talked to like that- I don't care who's grandma you are or what your faith tells you. I am worried there is no chance of me getting back "in" with them and its going to be a cause of drama basically until grandma kicks the bucket. My Partner isn't sure if he should hold back with me, or try to bridge relations and honestly I'm not either. Is there anyway to convince an 80 year old woman to just let it go?

tl;dr I got an abortion years ago, well before this relationship. Current partner's very catholic grandma finds out, gets upset/emotional. I refuse to discuss it with her and leave. Now a very large chunk of his family think I'm a bad person/disrespected his grandma. Would like to repair things because I really like them all but also refuse to be preached at about my personal choices.

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