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Bite everyone. Live your life like the guy from Red Dragon.
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Dec 21, 2018 19:33
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Regarding canine dominance behaviors, my wife had a very confusing evening once that went something like this: 1) haha our dog freaks out when you blow air on her head, she doesn't understand how you're doing it, so funny, check it out 2) Wait, why is she running away? I'm just trying to get a funny reaction! 3) Holy poo poo she just snapped at the air when I tried blowing on her head again, why is she doing that 4) Uhh ok so Google says that dogs take blowing air on them as an act of dominant aggression, whoops 5) sorry dog  In conclusion canine social cues are strange and incomprehensible
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Dec 21, 2018 19:35
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loquacius posted:Regarding canine dominance behaviors, my wife had a very confusing evening once that went something like this: Your wife abused a dog because she's an idiot, good job
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Dec 21, 2018 19:44
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Blade Runner posted:Your wife abused a dog because she's an idiot, good job This was all in the course of like half an hour and the dog apparently forgot by the next morning, I think we're ok
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Dec 21, 2018 19:46
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:You’re almost there, but why wait for the dog to bite you? Bite first and show that fuzzy gently caress who’s boss right from the get go. Biting first is a sign of fear and cowardice. The dog, being a stupid animal with a limited ability to appreciate honor, always bites first. They cannot be blamed for it, but we should not emulate them in this way. We have to set a better example so they can be inspired to evolve into more honorable creatures. Cough Drop The Beat posted:Lol if you don't carry around a Hanzo steel masterwork katana to deal with all dogs and other dangerous beasts Weapons are for cowards and the dead (ghosts often use weapons). Only by showing we are capable of speaking an animal's specific violent language can we hope to guide them on more honorable paths. This is most difficult when it comes to venomous animals or electrified snakes. I have been training to develop venom sacks and to produce high voltage within my own body but training has been slow, so for now I slink away from creatures that are equipped with them like a pathetic worm. But my day will come.
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Dec 21, 2018 19:47
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"wow hey guys, this dog freaks out every time I slap it in the face!! Ha ha how crazy!!" "Oh huh according to Google dogs don't like being slapped in the face. Wow, the more you know huh"
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Dec 21, 2018 19:49
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Admiral Ray posted:Weapons are for cowards and the dead (ghosts often use weapons). Only by showing we are capable of speaking an animal's specific violent language can we hope to guide them on more honorable paths. This is most difficult when it comes to venomous animals or electrified snakes. I have been training to develop venom sacks and to produce high voltage within my own body but training has been slow, so for now I slink away from creatures that are equipped with them like a pathetic worm. But my day will come. The manliest weapon is shooting cum out of your rear end with enough force to cut through steel. There is nothing more masculine than exerting complete domination over another by bringing them to climax and then lathing the flesh from their bones with a high powered stream of their own vital essence. The upside is that the murder weapon is their own DNA so the police can never trace it back to you. Although sometimes it's easy to get hemorrhoids.
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Dec 21, 2018 19:52
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Blade Runner posted:"wow hey guys, this dog freaks out every time I slap it in the face!! Ha ha how crazy!!" I mean, blowing air isn't nearly as self-evident an act of aggression as physical force, but you of course know that The dog was reacting with nothing more alarming than apparent confusion until the very end, and my wife thought it was like that Internet thing where you put a cucumber on the ground next to a cat and it freaks out or something similarly harmless, until the snapping gave her cause to worry and she looked it up This is my wife's first dog (and my first dog not primarily owned by my parents) and she's still figuring poo poo out but if you wanna be mad at her I guess you can 
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Dec 21, 2018 19:56
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Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:Imagine, just imagine, a 27 year old man whose ego and identity is so tied to videogames he literally flies into a rage and throws chairs when something threatens that identity. Let it wash over you. Really soak it in. Good advice, Dr. Video Games 0135.
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Dec 21, 2018 19:59
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Blade Runner posted:"wow hey guys, this dog freaks out every time I slap it in the face!! Ha ha how crazy!!" In the future could you clarify whether you're trolling or stupid?
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Dec 21, 2018 20:01
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Tater Love 
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cumshitter posted:The manliest weapon is shooting cum out of your rear end with enough force to cut through steel. There is nothing more masculine than exerting complete domination over another by bringing them to climax and then lathing the flesh from their bones with a high powered stream of their own vital essence. This is the sort of weaponry that can work against high powered laser cutters or water jets, both elemental beings that humans have no business fighting.
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Dec 21, 2018 20:03
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loquacius posted:Regarding canine dominance behaviors, my wife had a very confusing evening once that went something like this: quote:1) haha our dog freaks out when you blow air on her head, she doesn't understand how you're doing it, so funny, check it out 
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Dec 21, 2018 20:04
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Nonvalueadded User posted:The Little Bummer Boy Bloodolf the red nosed Paindeer?
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Dec 21, 2018 20:11
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Midnight Voyager posted:His safety = if the dog bit the walker, it could get put down. It wasn't for his immediate safety, it was so she wouldn't have to put it down. Ahhhh, hadn't thought of that angle. Thanks, that makes sense.
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Dec 21, 2018 20:17
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Admiral Ray posted:This is the sort of weaponry that can work against high powered laser cutters or water jets, both elemental beings that humans have no business fighting. The challenge is getting them to ejaculate, really. A laser cutter isn't a cheap date.
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Dec 21, 2018 20:34
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cumshitter posted:I can't believe people were arguing so much about sex toys as Christmas gifts. Last year I gifted the entire office fleshlights modeled after my own rear end. A few days later someone was kind enough to leave an anonymous note praising my butthole which also suggested I see a doctor because my prostate was obviously inflamed. Wasn’t this a Parks and Rec episode?
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Dec 21, 2018 20:37
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Motronic posted:I was going to start bolding parts but gave up. Consider the entire thing bold. im the love of soup
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Dec 21, 2018 20:58
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loquacius posted:I mean, blowing air isn't nearly as self-evident an act of aggression as physical force, but you of course know that I mean it's just kinda silly that you're framing it as some grand revelation that dogs don't like having air blown in their loving face Yeah turns out they're not a fan of that, thanks Google zakharov posted:In the future could you clarify whether you're trolling or stupid? Both
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Dec 21, 2018 21:06
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cumshitter posted:I can't believe people were arguing so much about sex toys as Christmas gifts. Last year I gifted the entire office fleshlights modeled after my own rear end. A few days later someone was kind enough to leave an anonymous note praising my butthole which also suggested I see a doctor because my prostate was obviously inflamed. Cumshitter, you're my favorite poster in this thread 🤗
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Dec 21, 2018 21:08
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My girlfriend wants to have a threesome with my ex, and I don’t know how to respond.quote:Ex-Context: Me [20m] and my ex [19f] dated a year. She’s definitely a very conventionally attractive girl—she is attractive to the point where lots of people would point it out to me on a persistent basis and she certainly knew it herself after being told it so many times. For context, I’m a pretty average looking guy, so everyone always hinted at this whole “oh you’re so lucky to date her” thing which even though I did feel lucky, it wasn’t for that reason, and so I found it quite annoying. Anyways, we had a great time dating, but we really didn’t align well as people and so I decided to break it off. Everyone was pretty outraged about the whole thing thinking we’re going to get married because I made the score of my life, which honestly just made me feel even shittier about the whole thing because I was trying to move on and with everyone telling me I made a huge mistake it just made me question my decision so much more than I really should’ve—I’ve come to realize we’re definitely not good for each other. Lots of petty drama too, but no necessary details. Also for sexual context here, I live in a conservative area, so even though we did get naughty and frequently brought each other to orgasm, we never had penetrative sex because she was religious and saving herself for marriage. As a matter of fact, I was the first person to bring her to orgasm and in many ways I was the one to help her really become comfortable in her own sexuality. After I break up with her, she thinks that the reason why we broke up is because she never put-out and she becomes insecure about that.
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Dec 21, 2018 21:12
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loquacius posted:thought it was like that Internet thing where you put a cucumber on the ground next to a cat and it freaks out or something similarly harmless, Don't do that, they freak out because they think it's a snake
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Dec 21, 2018 21:15
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Cat Army
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:My girlfriend wants to have a threesome with my ex, and I don’t know how to respond. "My significant other wants to do a sex act I'm uncomfortable with, what should I do Internet?"
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Dec 21, 2018 21:19
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Oof, yeah, he needs to stop that immediately. If they go through with it their relationship is toast
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Dec 21, 2018 21:22
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Motronic posted:Today's installment of "gamers are garbage": Dude threw a chair so hard it broke and she's worried she did something wrong. "Yes I am severely triggered by women having disagreeing with me on even the most minor point, please do not abuse me by enjoying The Wrong Videogame in my presence. Also I had another 'fight with family' so I'm feeling very fragile, please let me relax by denigrating all your recent accomplishments which threaten my pathetic ego." Leon Einstein posted:As the other guy said, people have been saying that long before Chris Rock had that routine. I'm not even sure what angle Chris was going for as it is racist any way you slice it. I understood the bit to be lampooning internalized racism. For those who've never seen it, it starts with him saying "Who's more racist, white people or black people? Black people! Because black people hate black people too!" So, yeah, everything that follows is racist: the racist beliefs black people have for other black people upon whom they look down, which they absorbed, like everyone in the us does, from living in a white supremacist society. But, ehn, I don't know if that really explains or justifies everything he says. "Books is like kryptonite for n-words!" Yeesh. Good for him for regretting it.
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Dec 21, 2018 21:24
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loquacius posted:"My significant other wants to do a sex act I'm uncomfortable with, what should I do Internet?" Lie back and think of Reddit
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Dec 21, 2018 21:25
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:My girlfriend wants to have a threesome with my ex, and I don’t know how to respond.  from everyone. "dude she's hot! she's hotter than you and thus have failed because you didn't marry her, because she's so hot! hot hot hot! physical attractiveness to outsiders is the only thing that matters in a mate!" jesus fuckin' christ 
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Dec 21, 2018 21:29
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That's true, everyone involved seems like a real creep If I was him I'd be way more worried about the fact that his girlfriend is readily admitting to preying on the ex's insecurities But yeah, the big thing here is never ever ever set up anything sexual with a third party unless you're 100% certain your SO is into it
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Dec 21, 2018 21:32
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Thats a p-p-pooowerplay.
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Dec 21, 2018 21:38
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Miserable Maid posted:If I was him I'd be way more worried about the fact that his girlfriend is readily admitting to preying on the ex's insecurities Looking at how the OP talks about himself, that may be her bag.
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Dec 21, 2018 21:41
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Miserable Maid posted:Oof, yeah, he needs to stop that immediately. Their relationship is toast already, so he should definitely go through with it
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Dec 21, 2018 22:03
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Miserable Maid posted:Don't do that, they freak out because they think it's a snake what about cats that have never seen a snake
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Dec 21, 2018 22:04
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genetic memory duh
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Dec 21, 2018 22:08
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Yesterday or Wednesday I saw a post in one of the relationship subs about a guy who was out to dinner with his GF of a few years, she looked at something on her phone, went to the bathroom, then vanished. He got a note from a waiter that she wrote just saying something like 'I can't do this.' She didn't respond to any calls or texts from him or her friends or family, I think the OP said he was going to file a missing persons report. Now I can't find it...I assume that since it might have become a more serious issue, he deleted it, but since i don't entirely remember which sub, and it's too generic to search for, I'm not 100% certain.
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Dec 21, 2018 22:20
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Barudak posted:Has anybody ever taken a bunch of drugs and then become an investment banker? Just stumbling out after talking to the trees with a new purpose to put on a three piece suit and use their new understanding of their fellow man to just grind all those son-bitches into the dust? Way far back, but my dad dropped acid in church, saw jesus and became a pastor because jesus told him to. He also became image and money driven like an investment banker. So yes, literally anything can happen when you trip.
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Dec 21, 2018 22:20
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And double post cause it took forever to read this thread. Ice cold cyborg let the gf die during suicide guy is my favorite, I find him inspirational. And now we get reddit Christmas meltdown '18 
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Dec 21, 2018 22:23
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:And double post cause it took forever to read this thread. Ice cold cyborg let the gf die during suicide guy is my favorite, I find him inspirational. The best and coldest hero of this thread was the woman who got drunk at party, called an Uber, but was shoved into a car by a dude at the party who was "just taking her home" and when she realized he was definitely going to rape her she released his seatbelt and pulled the e-brake on the freeway putting him in the hospital
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Dec 21, 2018 23:01
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andrew smash posted:The best and coldest hero of this thread was the woman who got drunk at party, called an Uber, but was shoved into a car by a dude at the party who was "just taking her home" and when she realized he was definitely going to rape her she released his seatbelt and pulled the e-brake on the freeway putting him in the hospital Oh man, you wouldn't happen to have a link?
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Dec 21, 2018 23:15
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Oh man, you wouldn't happen to have a link? I remember that story and am pretty sure it was debunked as fake. I think the problem was that she claimed they were in a pickup where the ebrake would've been on the floor by the brake.
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Dec 21, 2018 23:34
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Dear Prudence posted:Q. Emergency dating expense: I am divorced with two kids, and I am dating a divorced woman with two kids (kids are from third to seventh grade). We took a road trip together recently, and during the trip I closed my driver-side door while her kid was holding the door bar so his hand was slammed by the door. I suggested that we go to the local ER, we did, and thankfully everything was OK. Here is the issue. Fast-forward a month or two later, and she texted me the ER bill (about $70 after insurance) with a clear hint that she thinks that I should pay the bill. I paid it, but I am very disappointed that she even thought of sending the bill to me. We both have good jobs so the amount is not an issue. She, on the other hand, thought that she should not have had to ask. I should have offered to pay and pay it without question. The money is not an issue, and I certainly would be happy to help in any way if it is needed, but I don’t see a future together for us if I will be held fully liable, and blamed, for every accident like this in the future. I am thinking this is a deal-breaker and the relationship at this point is too transactional. Am I being unreasonable?
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Dec 22, 2018 00:36
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thats my poo poo right there
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Dec 22, 2018 00:39
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