Haifisch posted:

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My girlfriend wants to have a threesome with my ex, and I don’t know how to respond.

Haifisch posted:

Classic Prudence

Haifisch posted:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Boyfriend [37M] “baby-texts”? Like baby talk but via texts sent to me [34F]

I have been dating this guy 37m for two months and cannot get over his “baby texting” habits. It’s like the infantilized version of “u up?” or “k” or “ty” or other bad texting behavior — think baby talk in text form. Prime examples include spelling words in weird “cuter” versions of the correct spelling (“din dins” for dinner) or unnecessarily pluralizing a word (e.g., responding “Okays” instead of “okay” or “ok” or even “k”)

It literally is so off putting I think I need to break up with him. I just ignore it, trying not to encourage by any means, but also don’t know how to tell him without seeming like I don’t have feelings or that I’m not a “feminine woman”. I totally get that certain language/lingo is acceptable in certain circumstances (eg heckin or good boye for doggo things) but this is all the time and dropped in during normal conversation.

Once he did respond to something I said with a weird emoji and I responded “I do not know what you are trying to say there - could you clarify?” He never really clarified and the behavior continues.

Am I being ridiculous? It seems like an insecurity-based thing and clearly someone must have encouraged it at one point but it really just turns me 100% off.

TLDR: I want to dump my boyfriend because his baby-texting tendencies repulse me. 👶🏻

quote:

My husband works at a hospital as a doctor, and she is one of the few nurses that work there. She was hired a few months ago, and since she started she had been offering my husbands little gifts (such as a certain type of chocolate that he likes, cakes, homemade cookies, etc.)

My husband is a very attractive man and he has a great personality. A large majority of his co-workers are women, and most of his friends are women as well. I’ve never been a jealous person and his friendships have never bothered me, regardless of the gender of his friends.

I would often tease my husband about her crush on him. She follows him around like a lost puppy and is all over him. She always wants to go out to lunch with him, stays with him during his lunch break etc. I feel like my husband was more “bothered” by the crush than I ever was. He thought it was weird but is too much of a pushover to push her away or anything.

However, she recently found out about me (or him having a wife, really). She said that she was was under the impression that he was gay (?) and that she was relieved to find out otherwise. She started asking a lot of questions about me, as to what I look like, what I work as, how old I am, what’s my personality like etc.

She became like. Obsessed with me or something. She wanted to know if we were planning to have kids and how long we were married and such. She asked him if he had any pictures of me and (he lied and) he said no. He said that he was getting weird vibes from her and that he didn’t ever answer any of her questions.

She started touching him a lot recently. Nothing “inappropriate” but enough to make my husband uncomfortable. Stuff like clinging onto his arm and hugging him and (she tried to hold his hand once but my husband is a little germaphobic and told her such. She hadn’t tried again but) my husband said that she touched his leg once while they were sitting on a bench outside. He said it was weird and that he told her to not do that and she kind of laughed it off.

I was talking to another co-worker of his (a mutual friend) and she was pretty annoyed with the girl. She described as “[20sF] has been trying to get into your husband’s pants all week but he’s too stupid to realize”. It doesn’t sound too out of character of him, because he’s never really “gotten” flirting, nor could he tell that I was “into him” before we started dating. He was actually surprised when I told him that I had feelings for him.

My husband normally tells me about all the strange things [20sF] does, but nothing that gave me the inkling that she was “trying to get into his pants”. I asked him about it and all he said that the only thing that changed was that she had been complimenting him a lot as of recently (telling him that he’s “really pretty” and stuff, and about how she likes talk guys (he’s 6’1)). A little strange but I’m not sure why I didn’t care much about it. I offered a “oh, that’s it?” kind of response and then forgot about it.

I use my husband’s phone to play mobile games (because mine has no storage) and I was doing that one day while he was making dinner when a really weird text showed up on the screen, asking my husband “how big he was”. I was going to ask my husband about it, I just told him that there was a weird text and he told me that he was busy and that he would look at it in a second.

Being the impatient gal I am, I opened it. The message was from [20sF]. I can’t say that I was surprised.

The texts started a few days ago, starting with her apologizing and sayinf that she got his number from one of their co-workers. The conversations are really one-sided. My husband has always been bad at texting, but you can tell that he’s really uninterested. One word answers and such. The text was from a conversation they had earlier, her asking if she could ask a “weird question” (ft. blushing emojis). He responded like 4 hours later, with “ok”, hence the text that I read.

A few minutes later my husband came over and I showed it to him. I told him that it was from [20sF] and he told me that it wasn’t important. He took the phone and responded “idk” and then gave it back to me so I could continue my game. He went back go the kitchen and he told me that I could ignore her if she sent anything else that was weird.

While we were in bed that night, he was using his phone, which is something he rarely does. I asked him who he was texting and he said it was [20sF]. I asked if I could see and he said sure. She suggested that he (measure himself, then with a “ jkjk) and that they should play 20 questions. My husband said that he’d feel bad if he ignored her because she was “just trying to be nice” so he obliged.

(He didn’t seem too phased by the whole “how big are you” question, so it kind of makes me wonder what other stuff she has said to him,,)

She was asking really weird, kind of personal questions. Asking him how many girlfriends he’s had and if he’s ever had a fwb and what his ideal women is (in which he answered, “my wife”) and then she started to ask questions about me. Again. How we met and how long we’ve dated and how much he loves me on a scale from 1-10. Then she asked him if he was “good in bed” but he ignored it and then went to sleep afterwards.

My husband told me today that she said that she wanted to meet me. Out of the blue. When he asked her why she said that she just wanted to be friends with me, since I am aquatinted with a majority of his co-workers and she said that she feels left out.

My husband told me that it was up to me whether I wanted to meet with her or not. She obviously has a thing for him, but she knows that he has a wife and that he loves his wife a lot. Do I meet up with her? Do I just tell her to back off and to leave him alone?

By husband hadn’t said anything to her because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. Although he thinks that she is annoying and that he is a little uncomfortable by a majority of her actions. He said that he wouldn’t mind being friends with her but he doesn’t feel comfortable being alone with her.

I don’t know what she wants and I don’t know why she wants to meet up. Do I go? If so, what do I say?

She’s getting on my nerves now because what she is doing is borderline harassment at this point. My husband doesn’t want to do anything because she’s a small woman and he said that she “probably” isn’t going to do anything. She’s borderline obsessive at this point and she seems frustrated that she’s not getting what she wants out of my husband.

tl;dr: new coworker at my husband’s job is obsessed with my husband, asks him a ton of inappropriate questions and keeps touching him. now she wants to meet with me and I’m contemplating whether or not i should go.

Even if I do go, what do I say to her?

Haifisch posted:

My [26F] husband’s [28M] co-worker [20sF] and her “innocent crush” on him is starting to be a bit much, and is becoming an obsession.

My husband works at a hospital as a doctor, and she is one of the few nurses that work there.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Boyfriend [37M] “baby-texts”? Like baby talk but via texts sent to me [34F]

I have been dating this guy 37m for two months and cannot get over his “baby texting” habits. It’s like the infantilized version of “u up?” or “k” or “ty” or other bad texting behavior — think baby talk in text form. Prime examples include spelling words in weird “cuter” versions of the correct spelling (“din dins” for dinner) or unnecessarily pluralizing a word (e.g., responding “Okays” instead of “okay” or “ok” or even “k”)

It literally is so off putting I think I need to break up with him. I just ignore it, trying not to encourage by any means, but also don’t know how to tell him without seeming like I don’t have feelings or that I’m not a “feminine woman”. I totally get that certain language/lingo is acceptable in certain circumstances (eg heckin or good boye for doggo things) but this is all the time and dropped in during normal conversation.

Once he did respond to something I said with a weird emoji and I responded “I do not know what you are trying to say there - could you clarify?” He never really clarified and the behavior continues.

Am I being ridiculous? It seems like an insecurity-based thing and clearly someone must have encouraged it at one point but it really just turns me 100% off.

TLDR: I want to dump my boyfriend because his baby-texting tendencies repulse me. 👶🏻

Nonvalueadded User posted:

The Little Bummer Boy
The First Hole-El
Rudolph the Red-inflamed Hemarrhoid


...eh, I'm out

ArbitraryC posted:

Not sure if there are other issues in that post where the dude is a total manchild and this sorta thing just reminds her of it but if he has his poo poo together it just seems like a compatibility issue.

OP posted:

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. In general most of his communication just comes across as super needy, which I don’t think I’ve conveyed in my original post.

Haifisch posted:

Sounds like this is it, from one of the OP's comments:

quote:

Hey everyone.

I didn't know how to feel about this one, so I need a second opinion. So my girlfriend and I had sex, and she contracted a UTI. I'm not entirely certain it was from the sex since we're both clean when it comes to sex, but it happened. She then asks me if I can help pay half the bill (about $150, so $75) because I may have caused part of it. The thing is, I have money and I don't mind helping her pay, but it does feel a little off. Thanks.


TL;DR Girlfriend and I had sex. She contracted a UTI somehow. Wants me to pay half the bill for her doctor visit.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (26M) girlfriend (25F) is asking me to help pay for half her doctor visit bill?


They should really teach about UTIs in sex Ed class.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Oh man, you wouldn't happen to have a link?

andrew smash posted:

My [21 f] boyfriend's [27 m] co-worker [29 m] dragged me into his car against my will, so I caused a crash. My boyfriend doesn't believe things happened how I said, and I'm really panicing without his support.


1. That boyfriend sucks
2. Releasing his seatbelt? That girl is ice loving cold (good)

quote:

I faded out Nina because she was inconsiderate and self-centred. We were friends in school a decade ago and reconnected last year. For a year we were very close and she was great at some points (e.g. had me over to cry right after my breakup, always invited me over for dinner with her kids).

However, she was also dismissive of me (most of our conversations were about her; if you told her something, her usual response is to ignore it and talk about herself), to the point of being critical or rude (e.g. told me after my breakup that she didn’t see me ever being married, also told me she didn’t think I was capable enough to ever switch jobs). She would also roll her eyes and be sarcastic if I mentioned I had been at the gym (she was very overweight then, though I never mentioned it). I think the final straw was that she kept bringing her kids along to our meetups and conversation consisted of entirely her life, while being dismissive of anything in mine.

In short I began a slow fade and haven’t seen or spoken to her since January (her kid’s birthday party, for which she requested very expensive gifts). I explained a few times that I wouldn’t be hanging out because I’ve been busy and have a lot of stuff going on in my life, then basically stopped replying.

Since then, she has been contacting a large number of our school friends (who have not spoken to her for over a decade) to ask what I’m busy with and why she hasn’t heard from me. Recently, it has extended to her getting her 6-year-old daughter to call me on the phone, from a variety of unknown numbers. I pick up these calls because my mother is ill and I worry that the hospital may call - however, it’s mostly her kid calling me to ask why I’m not around, followed by a message from Nina that her kid misses me so she told the kid she could call me.

I feel really bad, especially as I think she is genuinely concerned. Even so, I don’t want to share with her what’s going on in my life because I don’t think she would be supportive. I don’t want to share, period.

I don’t want to block her because this would really incite warfare - I’m certain she would launch an attack on me to all our mutual friends and generally get really angry and hurt. How can I communicate I don’t want to resume the friendship on the same terms as before?

TL;DR: Friend keeps asking people why I’m MIA, is now getting her little daughter to call me.

EDIT: Updating at someone’s suggestion to say that another friend has previously asked Nina for time out because the friendship was too demanding. Nina reacted badly; that friend group has now split and the guy that girl was dating dropped her. He said the stuff Nina said made the friend sound psycho. Plus she spilled that girl’s secrets to everyone ☹️

Anne Whateley posted:

Let's be clear I would definitely murder dindins boyfie immediately, but someone who literally types “I do not know what you are trying to say there - could you clarify?” instead of just "?" ALSO deserves hatred

Occasionally the truth actually is in the middle

Anne Whateley posted:

Let's be clear I would definitely murder dindins boyfie immediately, but someone who literally types “I do not know what you are trying to say there - could you clarify?” instead of just "?" ALSO deserves hatred

Occasionally the truth actually is in the middle

Burt Sexual posted:

No one cares good god

YeahTubaMike posted:

i definitely could not date a guy who said "doggo" or "pupper"

Burt Sexual posted:

No one cares good god

Taima posted:

I don't want to expose myself to punishment here but can we just let the thread work? Mod intervention hasn't improved this thread and most people who post objectively bad things get ignored, and even if they don't, the thread moves so fast that they are background noise. I don't get why mods are trying to reign in something that is simply working as intended.

This is what people are getting at when they pine for the old days. Were they perfect? No, but at least fairly representative and honest posting was occurring in a way that just leads to punishment sometimes now.

cumshitter posted:

Baby talk guy is low key trying to prime her for the big reveal where she changes his diapykins or whatever so she should dump his rear end immediately.

I say this as an adult who operates in a professional office environment. Recently, I learned my assistant failed to put through an order to raise funds for a client with a large account who was expecting money to be available for an escrow payment on a home purchase. When I learned that they had not done so I sent them a very stern message:

"Very mad right now. Large account, can't afford to lose this >: ( !!!! You dicked me good on this one!! 8======(=("

I think that got the message across. Also, I offered a compliment sandwich by assuming their dick was at least 7 equal signs in length. That's just called good management.

Gibbon posted:

I always think of the woman that said Appies

quote:

My [30F] raging jealously towards my sister [40F] how to cope?


Throwaway actt. for reasons that will be obvious.

I am sorry if this gets long, there is a lot of background. TL;DR at end.

I am the youngest of three sisters, and most of my life I was the one blessed with "looks"- I briefly modeled in HS and college, and dreamed of a glamorous life in New York City since childhood. By contrast, my oldest sister was intellectual, but not conventionally attractive and also introverted/shy and didn't date or have a boyfriend at all until after college. Because she is 10 years older than me, she left home when I was just a kid, and we weren't really that close.

My plans in life got derailed when me & my BF [M/30] got pregnant my 2nd year of college; we decided to leave school and get married and move to be near his parents in the midwest. Fast forward 10 years and we have 3 kids and a normal life. My older sis has been living in NYC for 20+ years and is currently teaching at a public university. In the past few years I have started to feel somewhat insecure, I feel like I look good for a woman who has had 3 kids in comparison to the other midwestern moms around me, but my sister was apparently a really late bloomer and even I have to admit looks great, especially for 40. So that's hard.

This past fall, friends of me & my husband began hosting one if their college friends, who is a professor at a major ivy league college on the east coast- he was in town doing research at the local university. He [M/40s] literally caused a sensation in our group of "mom friends", when he attended various social events with the couple he is living with. He is EXTREMELY good-looking and intelligent, but also stand-offish and comes off as really serious. Me and my friends started jokingly calling him "Mr Darcy" after Pride & Predjudice/Bridget Jones fame.

Anyway, my sister came to stay with us a few months ago for two weeks while my husband was dealing with some health problems, to help take care of the kids, etc. While she was here we hosted a large party and "Mr Darcy" came with our friends.... Can you see where this is going? WE started the night playing team trivia and my sister is VERY competitive with that, and it turns out that Mr Darcy is too. After that they spend ALL NIGHT talking. I was also pretty sure that they got together (maybe more than once?) before my sister went back to NYC. Honestly, I didn't even want to know.

Fast forward again. I asked my friends about their holiday plans recently and half-jokingly asked about Mr. Darcy and my friend said that he had gone to NYC for the Christmas break. I just had a really sinking feeling when she said that, and I texted my sister, joking that everyone was mad that she had stolen Mr. Darcy from us. She texted back "Sorry didn't know he was communal property lol"

And finally, last night I had my friend over when she got a text. Apparently she had sent a picture of her kids at their holiday program earlier to Mr Darcy, and he texted back a photo reply... a selfie of he and my sister at the opera at Lincoln Center. My friend showed it to me, and what kills me is that he didn't crack a smile the whole time he was here and in this photo he is grinning like an idiot. Both he and my sister are just GLOWING.

So how do I deal with this? All of my dissatisfaction with the way my life has turned out and jealousy against my sister has just come to a head, and as the final insult she has "stolen" my fantasy-crush-object.

TL;DR: What do I do to deal with the jealousy of my older sister having the life I wanted and dating my secret mom-crush?

JacquelineDempsey posted:

I also can't figure out how a dog is supposed to eat with a muzzle on. I looked it up, and there are basket-style muzzles that allow dogs to pant and drink, and eat treats. Like, you can slip a Milkbone in between the wires. But how a dog is supposed to chow down with a Hannibal Lector mask on... I just don't get it. I can see why the walker took the muzzle off to feed him, but, yeah, that was a pretty dumb move having her face anywhere near the dog at feeding time.

nerd plus rage posted:

Just the thought of someone saying this word makes me angry.

How dare my sister do well with her life? Doesn't she know she's supposed to be the one I look down on?