Papa Emeritus III posted:

Yeah, that's possible. I was thinking that he has some fears and worries as he comes to grips of being a father. Then, you add in some manipulation from the roommate to bring on a full blown panic of cold feet...


...so, the roommate is bombarding him with that 'No Procreation' belief, which he tends to absorb in silence.

Roommate is probably a past fling with this dude and was knocked up. They abort the child because procreation is for suckers(or rather...they miscarried and got bitter enough to swear off babies forever?). Now, as simply roommates, he starts to date and woops! there's another baby. Roommate loses her marbles under the weight of all that jealousy and uses the "she is pregnant and that makes me uncomfortable enough to hate her and she'll never be a good mommy and goddammit she is forbidden to enter this apartment!" Meanwhile, the boyfriend is feeling guilty and now he is beginning to avoid his girlfriend to console the roommate. High chances of him hooking back up if he hasnt already(He has).

Or I'm way off base here. I kinda hope I am because the hatred and the bitter judgment of motherhood from that roommate sounds incredibly disturbing.

Midnight Voyager posted:

now you're just making up fanfic.

therobit posted:

Your expectations would adjust and the definition of a comfortable life would probably change.

life is a joke posted:

People really like to have romantic fantasies about how they would continue to be the grounded everyman in the face of millions and millions of dollars. like when people who win the lottery say "I'm going to keep working at the gas station, the money won't change me, I like to work!"... no way, the second you get a write-up for not sweeping the walk-in you're outta there, and that should be obvious but a lot of people won't admit it.

The broke brain stuff i can't understand is the billionaires who could use a single-digit portion of their money to own opulent properties in any city that they choose around the world, fly in the newest planes, have the biggest yachts, live life as a permanent 5-star vacation, eat the finest foods, and more, and also pass this lifestyle down to their kids. There is no possible shift in definition of comfortable that money could achieve. Why do they always need more?

quote:

I feel so stupid for even having to make a post like this but I want to hear what other people’s opinions are because I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not.

I met my husband who I’ll call Charlie, we are not legally married but call each other husband and wife in social situations 5 years ago. I was 22 and he was supposedly 28. In retrospect, he always was a little squirrelly about it when I asked him his age, and would avoid talking about birthdays for the most part. I don’t know how I never noticed something was up, guess he was just super good at changing the subject whenever it drifted into that territory.

I saw his ID once or twice but never even thought to look at the birthday because I never suspected anything was amiss... On his 30th birthday I was confused about why he didn’t want to have a big party with friends but now I can see why (didn’t want a lot of people there who might mention his actual age) anyway I remember that year very clearly cause I went all out with the presents, I got 30 different things for him to open representing each year.

My sister was there and remembers him saying he was thirty as well. Honestly if it was not for that year and my sister remembering the same thing as me I would be doubting my sanity right now. So anyway that brings me to current events.

So his birthday rolled around this year and we are with his family. I was standing in the kitchen talking to his brother and mentioned Charlie turning 32 and he just looked at me really funny and said “what? He’s definitely turning 37” and we started arguing about it with me insisting he was 32 and him insisting 37. In walks Charlie and we ask him how old he is and he takes a few seconds but eventually says 37 and acts like there’s something wrong with me for being confused about his age, and his brother is looking at me like I’m stupid or something. At this point I was thinking how could I have got this wrong, I didn’t want to argue in front of his family so I waited til we went up to the room and we had a big argument. He denied lying to me and insisted that I was just remembering wrong. I told him him that was bullshit because I clearly remembered his fake 30th bday and so did my sister (I texted her about it and she confirmed he def said he was 30). He gave a weak rear end apology and that’s been that.

Also, when we first met and I was asking about his family he claimed his mom was French (he is from Mexico) and that he grew up part of his childhood living on a sailboat. I’m pretty sure all of that is bs too since it’s obvious she is completely Mexican and I’ve heard no one else mention anything about a sailboat. I suspected that was a lie or exaggeration but didn’t press into it because I didn’t want to embarrass him. I figured he thought it would make him sound more exotic or something.

It’s been a few weeks since then and it’s still bothering me to the point I’m thinking about leaving him. This is not the only problem we have in our relationship though. He is terrible with money and deflects and ignores me when I try to help with the finances. I am a stay at home mom to our 1 child with special needs so I’m not bringing in any money and it bothers me to know that we are saving nothing for retirement and going deeper into debt.

I try to help by saving as much as possible on my end by being frugal on food and and buying clothes second hand. I’ve spent maybe $200 this year on clothes for myself and our son, for instance. When I realized that one of the credit cards we have had an almost 20% interest rate I freaked out and tried to get him to pay it down or negotiate a lower rate because he has good credit so there’s no reason to be paying so much. Despite nagging him on this issue multiple times he has not taken care of it and as he is the account holder it has to be him.

I’ve asked him to give me the passwords to the card accounts so I can monitor them and see what we are spending the money on but he says that he can’t figure the passwords out, something about using a password manager? Idk. I should have known he was terrible with saving when 4 months into our relationship he had to borrow a few thousand from me. For context, he makes about 3x the average salary for our area. He doesn’t consult me before making any big purchases. For instance when he was on a business trip he brought a 4K mountain bike and I found out when he brought it home. I would never in a million years do that but because it’s him no big deal.

He seems to think that he’s going to get a big inheritance when his dad dies and maybe that’s why he sees no need to save? His dad is rich but he also has a very gold digging long time girlfriend so I feel like it’s stupid to assume he will get anything.

I don’t want it to sound like it’s all bad though. He has plenty of good qualities, he does more than his share of parenting/helping around the house and has never so much as raised his voice to me, and we get along pretty good in all other aspects. We share a hobby that we are both very into and spend a lot of time together practicing it.

I don’t really have any girlfriends to talk about this with so I would appreciate any advice y’all can give me. I want to figure out how to get him to work with me on finances, but I’m not sure how to do that without giving him an ultimatum, even though that’s basically how I feel at this point. I have lost all trust in him due to the lie about his age. If he had just owned up to it after we got more serious that would be one thing, but to maintain a lie that big for 5 loving years is just.. idk it feels too big of a problem to let go and I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. Thanks for reading.

Tl;dr. Husband is actually 37 not 32 like I thought, also is terrible with money and refuses to let me help.

quote:

The hand gesture they frequently do is the "okay" symbol, or the "circle game" internet meme.

We recently came from a family holiday and as I was browsing through the photo album, the hand gestures were plastered all over the photographs or just sneakily hidden. Upon confronting the older ones (who have taught their younger siblings to do it) they did not see a problem with it and found the fact that I was furious about it very funny.

It's a blatant lack of respect and find it extremely rude that they won't stop the hand gestures. It makes the photos look ridiculous and at this point, I would rather not have them in photographs if they won't take them seriously.

My wife doesn't have a problem with it and is glad that they're finally participating in family photos, even if it is a dumb joke.

How can I make my children stop, especially since they won't listen to me, or at least convince my wife to tell them to knock it off.

TL;DR - daughters sneak in the "okay" hand symbol in photos and are disrespecting me by continuing after I asked them to stop. How can I make them stop it?

LadyPictureShow posted:

Here's one that's not served with a side of or . Just a dad gettin' mad.

My [50M] daughters [20F, 18F, 10F, 6F] make stupid hand gestures in photos and they will not stop

therobit posted:

There are studies showing that having money or feeling like you have money changes your behavior in games designed to measure your behavior wrt generosity, and that the wealth may drive the behavior rather than the other way around.

Additionally, if you're behavior and attitudes with money and life lead you to be poor, you are probably the one that is mal-adapted.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Here's one that's not served with a side of or . Just a dad gettin' mad.

My [50M] daughters [20F, 18F, 10F, 6F] make stupid hand gestures in photos and they will not stop

quote:

they did not see a problem with it and found the fact that I was furious about it very funny.

Turtlicious posted:

the dad is mad because his kids are making nazi gang signs during family photos.

Midnight Voyager posted:

now you're just making up fanfic.

therobit posted:

She is, but I think that is what 50% of this thread is.

Edit: and there's nothing wrong with that.

Turtlicious posted:

the dad is mad because his kids are making nazi gang signs during family photos.

Meme Emulator posted:

People become wealthy because they have a certain mindset that allows them to flourish in our economy and/or they got the wealth passed down from them from others who staked out thier wealth who had a similar mindset. Its self selecting, which is why I said theyre irredeemable. They couldnt have gotten to that point without having an abusive mindset.

The Iron Rose posted:

just to be clear here you're literally saying that anyone who makes good money has an abusive mindset and that's worse than people who literally beat their wives



gently caress off and gently caress you

tactlessbastard posted:

If you make a lot of money and beat your wife, it cancels out because she's a rich, too so you're good

Papa Emeritus III posted:

I'm getting another moment, realizing that the old man yelling at clouds has finely began to include the good ol fashioned medium of Reddit. A sign of the times. What will the next generation do? ....oh and that Dad needs to get clued in on the nazi stuff. It soared over my head too and I was assuming the girls were doing some kind if 'shocker' equivalent.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Uhhh, okay, it's me, I'm the old woman yelling at clouds.

What does the "okay" symbol mean, if not that silly circle game? I have a co-worker that plays that game with me all the time, even though I never play back. What's the Nazi implication? I really don't want to google "nazi hand gestures".

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Uhhh, okay, it's me, I'm the old woman yelling at clouds.

What does the "okay" symbol mean, if not that silly circle game? I have a co-worker that plays that game with me all the time, even though I never play back. What's the Nazi implication? I really don't want to google "nazi hand gestures".

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Uhhh, okay, it's me, I'm the old woman yelling at clouds.

What does the "okay" symbol mean, if not that silly circle game? I have a co-worker that plays that game with me all the time, even though I never play back. What's the Nazi implication? I really don't want to google "nazi hand gestures".

The Iron Rose posted:

just to be clear here you're literally saying that anyone who makes good money has an abusive mindset and that's worse than people who literally beat their wives



gently caress off and gently caress you

OMGVBFLOL posted:

you literally said anyone who is poor probably deserves it so gently caress you too pal

The Iron Rose posted:

I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm sure you'll enlighten me


Sorry, domestic abusers are shitheads. Anyone defending them to get some dig in on anyone richer than themselves is a shithead too hth

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Yeeesh.
The whole idea of co-opting a popular thing like Pepe or the "ok" sign as a shibboleth is so drat stupid. The whole idea of a shibboleth is to have a signifier that only others in your group would know, so you can tell who's who. Like SA and "stairs". This, on the other hand, it'd be like if I came up with some crazy religion and we all decided, "hey, let's wear crosses so we can tell who's down with our cult, and for lulz!" Again, old woman yelling at clouds. I just don't get it.

Thanks for the info, though, guys. I should probably warn my coworker.

Edit: that SPLC article was very helpful, thanks!

The Iron Rose posted:

Anyone defending them to get some dig in on anyone richer than themselves is a shithead too hth

Hellsau posted:

See that's the great thing about guillotines, they can be reused quite a lot and are very efficient. We can take down the rich AND the abusers.

jobson groeth posted:

It's not really meant to be a shibboleth though. It's meant to troll the libs.

"Look at them getting mad at someone doing the OK sign "

quote:

[Accident] Do you think I'll lose my boyfriend for this?

I was sitting on my boyfriend's face, and I had to fart. I thought it would be a silent one...you know...you can just feel it when it is. But it wasn't. It wasn't even a fart. It was a shart. A little diarrhea-like poop got on my boyfriend's nose. It didn't go into his mouth. He THREW ME OFF screaming. He wiped his face on MY shirt on the floor and ran out in his boxers. This just happened so I haven't talked to him since. HELP

jobson groeth posted:

OctaMurk posted:

Moon Atari posted:

It makes me sad that children are sort of briefly alluded to in a lot of these stories but are so obviously not a priority in their parents lives. Particularly when it is poly or cheating drama and they have multiple young kids. You shouldn't have time for that poo poo. If you have them they should be a priority that far far outweighs your commitment to experiencing all the varieties of sex you would like to or playing the latest videogame or whatever.

OMGVBFLOL posted:

lol are you seriously trying to defend yourself by saying poor people deserve it

LadyPictureShow posted:

Husband (37m) of five years lied to me (27f) about his age.


My husband is a pathological liar and overspends to the detriment of our family, but he never yells and we have the same hobby, so...

Panfilo posted:

It's going to be pretty surreal when you have a generation of children neglected due to their parents video game addiction. I guess in a way it's not much different than neglect via other addictions, though I do wonder how these kids will turn out.

Will they be so put off by vidya games that they choose to be luddites themselves? Will they inherent their parents horrible habits? We live in an Era where toddlers can use touchscreen tablets before they can even talk. What the hell are these people going to be like as adults?