/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

a fatguy baldspot: Aug 29, 2018

Switchback posted:

At this point I�m thinking this broken snowflake has too many mental problems, yes getting fired sucks but your partner is there pushing that it�ll be ok, don�t worry, this is exciting, it will all work out!

Fuuuuuck this motherfucker!! Hand waving away a layoff as no big deal because he�s not the one taking financial responsibility for them. Yeah �we�ll be fine� cause she�ll stress and hustle until these bills are paid while he lets her, saying �money just isn�t important to me!�

Did you also see where she implies she did all the scheduling and planning. Guys a real catch.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 17:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 2, 2024 23:11

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

y�all with your slaps and punches, it�s stone cold stunner or full suplex obviously

# ? Jan 5, 2019 17:24

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

CheesyDog posted:

Yes she should have punched not slapped

Should have given her aunt a Stone Cold Stunner

E: gently caress didn�t read to the next page and now I look like an idiot

# ? Jan 5, 2019 17:36

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

yeah

# ? Jan 5, 2019 17:36

pooch516: Mar 10, 2010

Kak posted:

TIFU by not wearing a bra

Can't wait for the movie adaptation of this novel. Really wish they had included more details, like what did they end up having for dinner??

# ? Jan 5, 2019 17:56

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

CheesyDog posted:

[32m] My wife [33f] will not shut up, and I'm not sure I can take it that much longer. Is it possible for that to be a reason to leave?

(self.relationship_advice)
submitted 10 hours ago by offentlige

I wonder if she talked continuously through the birth.

*gives birth to a beautiful baby that starts crying*

*talks louder*

# ? Jan 5, 2019 18:14

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

[20M] had sex for the first time in a one night stand and she choked me out? [new]
submitted 20 minutes ago by throwawaycam1000

quote:

I had sex for the first time yesterday in a drunken one night stand. I only met this girl at the club but we started talking in the smoking area and hit it off. So we made out and brought her back to my place (at uni).

Anyway as soon as we get back she gets on top of me and starts riding me. As she's riding me she starts choking me for some reason with one hand and I start losing air and then she leans down and covers my mouth with the other. At this point I'm not sure what is happening or wyhy.

Then shortly after I orgasm there's an awkward silence and she says she has to go. So she leaves.

I've never had sex before. Is this a normal thing that happens on a night stand? Are they usually this kinky? Why would she want to choke me? Is this normal? I'm still trying to proccess this.

TLDR - Lost virginity in one night stand and she unexpectedly starts choking me out and then leaves shortly after.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 18:51

Penguissimo: Apr 7, 2007

lots of Mark Corrigan parachute accounts on this subreddit

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:11

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

CheesyDog posted:

[32m] My wife [33f] will not shut up, and I'm not sure I can take it that much longer. Is it possible for that to be a reason to leave?

(self.relationship_advice)
submitted 10 hours ago by offentlige

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lStFhRAp2Ho

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:19

spookykid: Apr 28, 2006; I am an awkward fellow
after all

Motronic posted:

[20M] had sex for the first time in a one night stand and she choked me out? [new]
submitted 20 minutes ago by throwawaycam1000

Written one handed by Cheryl Tunt.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:22

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Moon Atari posted:

With severe autism challenging them becomes impossible. Their dedication to dysfunctional behaviours is absolute and they have no submission to social relationships. Let's say you are overcoming a normal kid's resistance to eating vegetables. You get them to eat it by attaching consequences for not eating it. Generally you won't even need to act out those consequences, just verbally warn them and stick to your guns for a little bit. They may cry and complain but will give up soon enough. They won't test the extremes of of your commitment.

But a severely autistic child will give no clear cue that they have understood or even heard what you have told them (even if they seem to have language comprehension in general). They won't stay in their seat. They will throw the food. They will try to murder you. They will hurt themselves, without restraint, smashing their head against walls, biting themselves etc. They will scream unceasingly until they are spitting blood. You could deny them all other foods in the hope that they will be forced to eat a single bite of vegetables and they will instead happily starve to death. You can offer bribes, but they might be just as stubborn about only getting the reward without the desired behaviour as they were before, and it will be unclear they understand the behaviour reward paradigm at all. If you had no ethics at all you would soon find that they are willing to endure more torture for their commitment to not doing what you have asked than a POW trained to resist guarding the nuclear launch codes.

You might find some extreme that pushes them to comply, but it won't "break" them in and make them comply easier in the future. Instead you will have to have that exact fight literally every time you want them to do the thing, with them seemingly never learning, or requiring years to learn, with all progress undone if you let up for just one day. And if you win the battle you will lose another one. For instance, let's say you succeed in getting them to eat a mouthful of vegetables. An hour later they will approach you cackling in triumph, having poo poo their pants and smeared it all over their bedding despite normally being toilet trained. Generally the damage you do by upsetting them will be worse than them not doing whatever you are trying to make them.

Maybe their individual manifestation isn't as extreme as all that, but the general principle applies. Power is usually a social construct, and when that fails a matter of imposed consequences. If they can't understand social constructs and are indifferent to reward and punishment then you have no power over them. But they have power over you, because you are invested in both your own and their wellbeing. At the same time sometimes the extremes of their dysfunction do come from the lack of discipline you suggest. Sometimes parents are just not up to the task, and modern attitudes and disability philosophy can genuinely be overly permissive to the point of creating greater disability.

stories like this are why i got sterilized

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:23

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

He doesn�t make enough money. What would YOU do?

quote:

I�m female and he�s male. I�d prefer not to reveal our age because I don�t want any identifying details. Suffice it to say we are both in our early 30s.

We�ve been together over a decade. I made it clear to him when we were in our early-mid 20s that I would eventually like to marry and have children. At the time, he expressed the same desire.

It never happened and I�m not sure if it will.

The first 6 years we were together, he was unemployed, dead broke and starving, and when we started dating I dropped out of college to take on a high-stress job to support us. He didn�t bring home an income but he helped me throughout this time, cleaning the house, making sure the house was stocked of groceries and cleaning supplies and anything we needed. I worked my rear end off supporting the two of us on a single income.

Then he got a minimum wage job. And for the next 6 years that�s all it has been. Minimum wage. No raise, no promotions, no prospective opportunities for advancement. We live in California and his entire paycheck goes to paying for his gas, buying weed, and going out to eat and drink with his friends. None of his money goes toward paying our rent or bills. When I comment on him spending a lot of money on weed for example, he�ll say �don�t worry, I used my own money for it�. His money goes toward his own leisure. My money pays for rent, bills, insurance, groceries, etc (in addition to my own leisure.)

He makes less than $30k by quite a margin. I make over $130k a year on a job that is 100% commission-based. My work is extremely stressful, and I�m basically working 24/7, since my income is not guaranteed. (It may sound like our combined income is decent, but I live in a city where $114k a year is considered �low income� because of how expensive everything is. The average 1-br rents for $3600 in my city.)

He doesn�t have a high school diploma or a college education. Throughout the years I�ve encouraged him to pursue a technical education in whatever field he wants to do. When he told me he wanted to be [x], he told me all I had to do was buy him the books and he would study, get licensed and start doing [x] for a living. I bought him the books. He read maybe 20 pages and gave up. Years later, he wanted to do [y] for a living so I paid a couple thousand for him to take classes to get licensed in [y]. Nothing came of that either. He stopped going to classes and his credits expired. Then he wanted to be a famous YouTuber and asked me to buy him the expensive mic, the green screen, the nice computer, all that. I spent a few grand on that too. I have never seen him record a single video for YouTube. Never seen him use his mic or green screen. When I asked him about it, he said he didn�t want to be a YouTuber anymore because he didn�t want to get doxxed.

I try to support his dreams. I really do. I told him whatever he wanted to do I would pay his way through. But he doesn�t seem to want to do anything. He seems content with his sub-$30k job. Everything I encouraged and supported him to do he has given up on. It doesn�t even seem like he gives any of it any degree of honest effort. But I supported and encouraged anyway because I was hoping he would one day make enough money for us to have a child. He used to tell me that he wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom because that�s what HIS mom was. Given how how hard I�ve worked over the past 12 years to support us and how much I want to be a mother, that would be the ideal situation for me.

Well, we�re in our early-30s now and we are no closer to that dream. If I have a child, I would have to take time off work, there is no question about it. And that will most likely mean losing my job, and my lucrative income. It would mean we would be reliant on his sub-$30k income, which doesn�t even come close to covering our rent let alone our bills, even if he were to devote 100% of it to rent and bills (instead of devoting $100% of it to to weed and leisure like he does now). It�s just not feasible.

I used to think we had plenty of time for him to get his poo poo together. But suddenly my biological clock is pounding and I don�t feel like I have a lot of time anymore. When I hit 35 in a couple of short years, there will be a huge drop-off in my fertility rate. That age is looming fast. He�s had 12 years to get his poo poo together with my full emotional and financial support and he didn�t. Why do I believe he will in the future? I only have a couple of good fertile years left. If I stay with him, I could end up squandering these years and giving up my dream of having a child. I don�t want to leave him, but I don�t want to be stuck in this situation either where I�m the one paying all the bills and I�ll never have a family.

I�ve tried bringing this up to him before, several times. His response has always been to express hurt that I�m saying he doesn�t make enough money, and then he�ll get angry and threaten to leave me �so you can go find yourself a rich husband because it�s all about the money for you, isn�t it?� He gets emotional, defensive, and accusatory. He doesn�t understand I�m not saying this to hurt him. I�m saying it because I want us to be in a better place financially, because I want us to start a family. He gets so emotional I can�t even talk to him about it in a calm and logical manner.

For the record, I love him. He�s the only person I have ever been with and I can�t imagine being with anyone else. I love him, but can love really conquer all? Can it conquer lack of aspiration? Can it conquer the pounding of my biological clock?

What should I do? What would YOU do?

TLDR: partner doesn�t make enough money for us to start a family. I�m getting to the age when I need to start a family NOW before it�s too late. Do I leave the man I love or do I give up my dream of having a family?

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:36

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Haifisch posted:

He�s the only person I have ever been with

Honey, it looks like you simply don't know any better.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:41

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Motronic posted:

Honey, it looks like you simply don't know any better.

She can start an exciting new diet plan to lose between 150 and 300 pounds of dead weight in 5 minutes.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:54

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

You spent all this time asking "could love conquer all?" that you never stopped to ask yourself "SHOULD love conquer all?"

# ? Jan 5, 2019 19:55

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

the 3600-follar 1br sounds like SF, and to be fair to her, finding an unmarried dude her age here who makes six figures and wont treat her like a fuckdoll, let alone wants kids, is not easy

that�s only to say I can understand her apprehension, not that she should stay. that dude�s never going to change, at least not while she keeps him in her life.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 20:17

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

dudeness posted:

You spent all this time asking "could love conquer all?" that you never stopped to ask yourself "SHOULD love conquer all?"

nothing sadder than a Pyrrhic victory on the battlefield of love

# ? Jan 5, 2019 20:40

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

marriage is bullshit and hollywood exists only to sell the lies necessary to grease american capitalism with the blood of infants and sex trafficking victims.

l;mao i just realized my crisis psots sound exactly like something i'd write normally. i'm a caricature of myself aaahahahah. shoutout whoever posted LEN in this thread. the 90s were really the high point of civilization, huh>? i shouldf of enjoyed them more

# ? Jan 5, 2019 21:21

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

OMGVBFLOL posted:

stories like this are why i got sterilized

we all thank you for that

# ? Jan 5, 2019 21:26

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

dudeness posted:

You spent all this time asking "could love conquer all?" that you never stopped to ask yourself "SHOULD love conquer all?"

Where hate seeks to tear down, love seeks to build up. Love, we are told, is instrumental and necessary for our well being, akin to fresh water or limited edition signed baseball cards. Love heals all, the gurus coo in our ears. With love, anything is possible the physicists say. As we apply love to more and more situations, love occurs as a positive feedback loop. Love begets love which begets love which. . . and so on and so on. In this way, love is most accurately seen as a kind of emotional cancer.

What the Union of Amorous Scientists never stopped to consider is: What happens when we run out of the emotional fuel for love? We have grown dependent. Complacent. Love will be our undoing and we can do nothing to prevent it. Just as we killed God, we will kill love. What will take its place? None can say, but there are simulations that have shown that we we can genetically engineer love-antagonists into every cell, immunizing us to the nefarious and addictive emotion.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 21:30

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Could. Being a sovereign citizen help me?

I live in Kentucky and have recently had charges brought against me from some dumb poo poo I did when I was 18. I have a lawyer working on my behalf but I cant rely on him 100% I did some research of my own and found some stuff on being a sovereign citizen, examples of people's cases getting thrown out of court because of being a sovereign citizen (ignorant). Is this legit? Could any part of it work in my favor. I'm not sure this the right subreddit but it's worth a shot. Would my lawyer know anything about this? I really just want to leave this country and plan on doing so after my court thing is over. So I was hoping there was a loophole or something.

quote:

Not going to jail, I�m traveling to jail.

BLACK�S LAW DICTIONARY, LOOK IT UP!

quote:

I identify as a ship. I did some research online because my lawyer can�t be trusted, and nowhere did it say a ship can have a criminal record.

quote:

"Sovereign citizen" arguments are brought about by halfwits who think the right combination of legal-ish phrases will somehow get you out of legal trouble. It'd be like trusting your heart surgery to a homeopathic practitioner with a Dremel. If something went right it'd have nothing to do with the method.

Listen to your lawyer.

"Sovereign citizen" arguments are brought about by halfwits who think the right combination of legal-ish phrases will somehow get you out of legal trouble.

It'd be like trusting your heart surgery to a homeopathic practitioner with a Dremel. If something went right it'd have nothing to do with the method.

Listen to your lawyer.[/quote]

# ? Jan 5, 2019 21:36

Phyzzle: Jan 26, 2008

Haifisch posted:

He doesn’t make enough money. What would YOU do?

Imprisoned by strict gender roles.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 21:37

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My [29M] gf [30F] seems to expect me to follow a script of "expectations". She's constantly hurt, essentially saying I should "just know" to do things a certain way to demonstrate I really love her. Is this normal? How do we get past it?

quote:

I've been with my girlfriend almost 2 years now, living with her for about 6 months. She's my first serious relationship, so I don't have much to go off of on this. And before I say anything else, I will reassert that she is extremely caring, and does a lot for me in the relationship.

But from almost the get go, it became clear we had different attachment styles. I needed more space and wanted to be more independent...she wanted to be a lot closer and more intertwined. We've worked at it for a long time and are in a way better place, but still find ourselves in fairly frequent disagreements.

At the core, It seems that she has this sort of "script" in her mind I'm supposed to follow. It usually shows itself with her getting upset or hurt or offended over super little things about day to day life that feel really minor. She'll plummet into a bad mood, and the little slights get turned into big issues/arguments. She usually claims that these are things "every boyfriend should know and want to do if they loved their girlfriend" and "if I cared about her I would have done it that way".

Since living with her, its only gotten worse. It feels like I need to be constantly "on" full boyfriend mode at all times. If I slip up and just she's immediately taken into a bad mood and we have to have a discussion about it. We've worked at it a lot. But seems like when we come to an agreement on one thing, another thing pops up.

For example, we've had multiple arguments where she's been upset that I didn't defrost dinner or cook dinner when she's had a long day at work. She commutes and I work from home. Usually I'm happy to get something out, but sometimes I get buried in my own work or forget or am not hungry. She'd get really hurt, implying if I cared about her having a long day...I'd have figured out dinner. Thing is...she never actually asked me to make or defrost something. She just expected it as a "thing boyfriends do for girls they care about". After many talks about this...I finally got the message across that if she wants something defrosted, she should ask. And sometimes I wasn't able to do that or cook, and in those cases she should just do her own thing. We didn't have to eat the same thing at all times.

Things have gotten better with that. But then other things.

Today I came home fairly late from working. She'd made dinner and left it out for me. As soon as I got in (the door is in the kitchen), I was starving and quickly ate my meal. She was upstairs at the time. My plan was to eat then go right upstairs to say hello and thank her for dinner. But before I could do that she texted me asking where I was. When I told her I was downstairs eating...she got really upset, saying "Thanks for saying hello, hope you enjoy your evening". When I went up to talk to her saying how silly it was for her to get upset over this, and I can't read her mind all the time...she just said "its not silly, I don't know any other guy who wouldn't go upstairs to say hi when they come in. If you cared about me you'd have known to do that".

Or the other day she got really upset because she wanted to go grocery shopping, but I was really busy with work. I normally always go with her on the shopping trip. But she was hurt because I couldn't do it this one time...it was like a huge slap in the face that I expected her to do it without me.

Or if I pour myself a glass of water and accidentally forget to ask her, she'll make a snarky comment like "Sure I'd love a glass of water".

When I try to talk to her about these little things, she denies there is any issues. She says she doesn't have a script in her head, she just has "expectations". She'll say "I'm allowed to have expectations for my boyfriend" and "these are just things you'd want to do if you loved & cared about your girlfriend".

I'm not completely ignorant. I can see that this is obviously a sign she's insecure in the relationship. But its really hard for me to go out of my way to reassure her in these moments since this kind of stuff just pushes me away and builds resentment.

It has me questioning myself...maybe she's right. Maybe in these instances I am being rude. Maybe I'm not being a good boyfriend for not saying hi to her as soon as I come home, or having dinner ready when she's home from work. But at the same time, I also feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I do these things a lot. But the times I slip up she feels distraught.

Since I have no other relationship to compare it to, I don't know whats normal relationship hurdles I should get used to...and whats toxic.

My question is, how is this whole "expectations" thing supposed to work? I know she's allowed to have expectations for me...but wheres the line? What if I don't agree with some of them?

TL;DR My girlfriend seems to want me to follow a "boyfriend script" in her head. When I don't meet her expectations, she is hurt and questions my love for her.

Verdict:. He is terrible and she's just kind of bad

# ? Jan 5, 2019 22:08

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

my love language is you being psychic and obeying the list of demands that I keep in my head

# ? Jan 5, 2019 22:10

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Haifisch posted:

He doesn�t make enough money. What would YOU do?

I would find a time machine.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 22:21

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

LadyPictureShow posted:

I would find a time machine.

She already did, it sent her rear end 12 years forward lol.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 22:24

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

dudeness posted:

You spent all this time asking "could love conquer all?" that you never stopped to ask yourself "SHOULD love conquer all?"

It seems to me that someone earlier in the thread had the perfect solution to a very similar problem. She came home one day and simply announced that she was no longer going to be working. Stoner McGamer panicked, wanting to know just how they would survive. She said she didn't care, it was no longer her problem. IIRC it took about a week of her staying home to encourage him to move his worthless rear end.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:00

Trimson Grondag 3: Jul 1, 2007; Clapping Larry

Prepping some food for your partner who is coming home late is pretty basic relationship table stakes - he sounds like a 12 year old.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:07

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [29M] gf [30F] seems to expect me to follow a script of "expectations". She's constantly hurt, essentially saying I should "just know" to do things a certain way to demonstrate I really love her. Is this normal? How do we get past it?

Verdict:. He is terrible and she's just kind of bad

He still has faults(like the defrosting dinner thing, that's just common sense. Hell, I'd do that for my roommate and I). But shes also just as toxic. Reminds me of an ex I had. She was the kind of woman that would be cold all night and when I asked what was wrong, she'd say "nothing" but keep up the icy attitude. Then, right as I'm about to go to bed and sleep.... she decides to finally blow up on whatever was bothering her, insulted by my lack of mind reading skills.

As a woman, I can honestly say that bitches be crazy.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:15

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [29M] gf [30F] seems to expect me to follow a script of "expectations". She's constantly hurt, essentially saying I should "just know" to do things a certain way to demonstrate I really love her. Is this normal? How do we get past it?

Verdict:. He is terrible and she's just kind of bad

Nah, dude's girlfriend has fairly reasonable expectations for her boyfriend to treat his partner half decently and he's an idiot who has no respect for her.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:18

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

They're both awful at figuring out each other's needs or expectations. They're incompatible.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:22

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [29M] gf [30F] seems to expect me to follow a script of "expectations". She's constantly hurt, essentially saying I should "just know" to do things a certain way to demonstrate I really love her. Is this normal? How do we get past it?

Verdict:. He is terrible and she's just kind of bad

She could try talking to him instead of hiding upstairs and texting him "WHERE U??" even though I suspect she knows he's downstairs eating the dinner she left out for him (because unless it's cold, she knew he'd be home soon)
He could try talking to her instead of saying "welp she didn't specifically tell me to make dinner plans by defrosting food or getting groceries, guess that means I don't have to do anything"

I [28F] just found out my boyfriend [30M] of 3 years lied twice about getting a handjob in Thailand.

quote:

I am livid right now. I want to preface this by saying that I have always trusted my boyfriend and he had never given me an ounce of suspicion that he is a lying, cheating bastard. Until last night.

So last night my boyfriend and I were discussing our anniversary plans this upcoming February and we decided upon Las Vegas. Then the conversation about how his time in Vegas and Thailand with his buddies came up since he went last year. I knew that my bf has very telltale signs of when he�s lying, like he would laugh or grin a bit [which he usually doesn�t do] when he�s lying. So when I asked him if anything happened in Vegas or Thailand, he laughed and couldn�t stop grinning.

Then he told me. When he landed in Thailand, he and 2 girl friends went to get a massage. He said he was really jet lagged, had a couple of beers, and so his inhibition was down. So when the massage happened, he got a boner and somehow ended up with a happy ending. He said he was in shock and didn�t know what to do. When he told me this, I was mad that he lied for a whole year but felt that it was forgiveable because I mean sometimes boners just happen and that�s not his fault. It�s not like he went looking for a happy ending.

But that was a lie. He finally spilled the beans and said that the whole story above was something he had concocted for the handjob that REALLY happened. He said that he went with a friend of his to a strip club in Thailand. His friend got a prostitute and went out of sight. So a stripper came by and asked my bf if he wanted a handjob. And he said yes. He paid $45 for it, she did it, he came, and she left.

He said he�s been feeling guilty about it ever since it happened, saying that he�s been punishing himself with so much guilt for this past year. He said it was a huge mistake, that he wasn�t thinking [the beers and being jet-lagged are still true], and that he was afraid of losing me if he had told the truth. He�s also an avid Redditor and said people have told others to NOT tell their significant others, essentially take this secret with you to the grave.

We both ended up bawling our eyes out. Me obviously because he broke my trust by getting a random handjob and even more so by making up a lie to cover something else. And him because it could potentially cost our relationship.

I don�t know what to do. I still love him and I do believe in people making mistakes, and as long as you admit to them and try to be better, then I can try to forgive. But him lying to me twice just killed me.

Tl;dr: My boyfriend lied about getting a happy ending from a masseuse in Thailand, when he actually got one at a strip club a year ago.

Ah yes, the ol "accidental rub n tug" lie

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:24

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

When I'm drunk and jet lagged I accept any proposition regarding my dick

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:30

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

That one redditor was charging $500...

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:31

Cyks: Mar 17, 2008; The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

Khazar-khum posted:

It seems to me that someone earlier in the thread had the perfect solution to a very similar problem. She came home one day and simply announced that she was no longer going to be working. Stoner McGamer panicked, wanting to know just how they would survive. She said she didn't care, it was no longer her problem. IIRC it took about a week of her staying home to encourage him to move his worthless rear end.

While I'm sure that would work in some cases I doubt a dude what doesn't even have his GED is going to get a job making five times as much as he does now over night just because the pressure is on.

Sucks it took her 12 years to realize they aren't compatible and she is unhappy but it couldn't be any more obvious what she needs to do.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:32

Dongicus: Jun 12, 2015

For real?! Wow. Just wow.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:36

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Nah, dude's girlfriend has fairly reasonable expectations for her boyfriend to treat his partner half decently and he's an idiot who has no respect for her.

It's not a reasonable expectation that he have clairvoyance and see into the future to know that he should have dinner ready for her when she get home even if he's working and she hasn't asked him to do it

This is a thing that really does come up a lot in relationships, and to be blunt about it: It's fine to expect things like this from your partner. It's fine to want things like this from your partner. But if you don't communicate that you want things, it's 100% your fault when they don't happen. Expecting that your partner will mind link with you and be aware that you're not picking food up for yourself on the way home or something is retarded. If you want something, ask for it or don't get it.

# ? Jan 5, 2019 23:39

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

PancakeTransmission posted:

She could try talking to him instead of hiding upstairs and texting him "WHERE U??" even though I suspect she knows he's downstairs eating the dinner she left out for him (because unless it's cold, she knew he'd be home soon)
He could try talking to her instead of saying "welp she didn't specifically tell me to make dinner plans by defrosting food or getting groceries, guess that means I don't have to do anything"

I [28F] just found out my boyfriend [30M] of 3 years lied twice about getting a handjob in Thailand.

Ah yes, the ol "accidental rub n tug" lie

I await the update in a year when she posts that he tearfully confessed that the strip club handjob story was a lie and he hosed two sex workers while he was in Thailand.

Blade Runner posted:

It's not a reasonable expectation that he have clairvoyance and see into the future to know that he should have dinner ready for her when she get home even if he's working and she hasn't asked him to do it

This is a thing that really does come up a lot in relationships, and to be blunt about it: It's fine to expect things like this from your partner. It's fine to want things like this from your partner. But if you don't communicate that you want things, it's 100% your fault when they don't happen. Expecting that your partner will mind link with you and be aware that you're not picking food up for yourself on the way home or something is retarded. If you want something, ask for it or don't get it.

I don't think one needs to have psychic powers to intuit that your partner would like a greeting and/or thank you when you come home to a clean house and cooked dinner. That's basic socialization.

I have a feeling he's missing basic requests like a text that says "Its a long day and I'm so hungry, don't know if I'll have the time/energy to cook when I get back."

# ? Jan 6, 2019 00:18

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

When I'm drunk and jet lagged I accept any proposition regarding my dick

*motions to tiny dick guillotine as you leave the airplane* sir would you like to donate your dick to my curio cabinet?

# ? Jan 6, 2019 00:20

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 23:11

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

Blade Runner posted:

It's not a reasonable expectation that he have clairvoyance and see into the future to know that he should have dinner ready for her when she get home even if he's working and she hasn't asked him to do it

This is a thing that really does come up a lot in relationships, and to be blunt about it: It's fine to expect things like this from your partner. It's fine to want things like this from your partner. But if you don't communicate that you want things, it's 100% your fault when they don't happen. Expecting that your partner will mind link with you and be aware that you're not picking food up for yourself on the way home or something is retarded. If you want something, ask for it or don't get it.

She has communicated it though, he has just decided he needs to be explicitly told to do things because he's a massive child. Baring in mind he's writing the story so this is his best version of events and he still comes across as a manchild failing at basic human empathy.

Not telling your partner that you're home? That's just wierd.

# ? Jan 6, 2019 00:29

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