Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I've had an account for a while but I don't know what all the badges mean. Blue star/pentagram = mod, admins have a red star or something similar I can't remember, grenade = plat, but I don't know what the others mean.

Nothing in particular I think

IKs (demi-mods) don't get any special flair AFAIK

That was less of a confession and more of a QCS post and I have two more so here they are

quote:

Awhile back, I started trail running. It began as a way to keep in shape, but it slowly morphed into an obsession where I started running ultra marathon distances; around 15-30 miles in one outing. I've been doing it for a couple of years, and the training regimen leads me into some fairly remote areas for the sake of finding long enough trails to train on. One of the places I train at is in the California Valley which sits east of Santa Barbara. I usually run a couple of different trails out in this area a few times a year.

A month before Christmas, I needed to get in more miles to make up for the off time over the holidays. I spotted a much longer trail that would be about twenty five miles out and back. Since this part of the area is only accessible by this trail, it's very remote and climbs into an otherwise inaccessible valley that sits between two other mountains. I looked it over on google earth before I went, and the only thing I noticed was a small road that leads to a small structure on the other side of a mountain that rims that valley.

When I got to the trail head, I was bummed to see that the trail had been closed by the forest service to rehab some sort of bird habitat. Since the place was pretty quiet, I decided to run it anyway. I was glad that I did at the time. There was no one else out because of the closure, and the trail was awesome. It snaked in and out of different valleys and ranged from forest to bare hill tops.

As luck would have it, I messed up one of the trail junctions and I ended up on the other side of the mountain that I was going to turn around at. I knew this because I was on the other side of a fence that marked the boundary of the National Forest that I was in. I also saw the structure that I saw from my google earth overview of the area. From my view, it was about 200 feet away from me.

The structure looked like a low cinder block building with a beige metal roof and only one door on the side. I've seen stuff like this before. Usually, it's a utility building of some kind. But, this one ended up being something else entirely.

While I was standing at the edge of the woods looking at the building through the fence, a grey Chevy Suburban pulled up next to the building. Four men got out of the SUV, and they were all wearing suits. I'm not really savvy on this kind of stuff, but my gut told me they were feds or some other kind of law enforcement or intelligence. Seeing those guys out there is like seeing FBI agents crawling out of a cave at the base of Half Dome in Yosemite. It's really loving strange. Then I hear the door on the building rattle and two other guys in suits come out of it! I don't know what the hell was going on. The two guys from the building walk over and talk with the guys that came in with the SUV, and they seemed jovial enough. I was trying to get a closer looks and see if I could hear what they were saying. I stepped on a stick, and they looked over to where I was in the trees. I thought they didn't see me. I wish I'd brought my phone on that run too so I could've recorded them, but it's doesn't get service anywhere out there so it's just added useless weight.

I hustled back to my car, looking over my shoulder every few minutes expecting to see a black helicopter or some other type of government vehicle. The whole time I was running back, I tried to think about what I'd seen. What do they have out there that needs a gang of men in suits to look over it? Is it a spy base? I don't really know.

I was feeling better about everything, right up until I got to the abandoned trail head. Since the trail was closed, I wasn't expecting anyone else to be there. Right next to my car was a fresh set of tire tracks, complete with a bunch of foot prints from, what looked to be, men's dress shoes. I drove home, it was dark by then. Everything seemed fine until a little after Christmas. I started to hear a weird clicking on my phone when I was talking on it. It also got really hot a couple of times, and I had to power it all the way down and restart it to get it to cool down. My landline also makes a similar clicking sound. My internet service has been acting weird also. When I send emails, it takes a couple of seconds for the email to send. I have really good service, so there's no real reason for it to take so long. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it feels like someone or some group is monitoring me. I installed a vpn also, so maybe that will help if they are watching my browsing and email stuff.

Remember that other fesh where the guy claimed there was a permanent detail of government spooks following him around while he went to the convenience store to buy candy or something

quote:

I am becoming more convinced every day that I am possessed and want to contact the church, but I am scared they will just say I'm crazy. I do not want to die. I don't want to be so unhealthy. I don't want to have no friends. But every day when I wake up full of regret for getting too high the previous night and swearing I'll never do it again, something overrides me. I always end up a mess at the end of the night, crying and begging the thing to stop killing me, but I think that just makes it stronger. I did research and believe the demon Beelzebub, the avatar of gluttony, has possessed me. I don't know why he let me learn his name, but I think it's because it is too late to do anything about it. I just want to kill him before he kills me, even if I die shortly after, but going into a church saying you want to kill a demon just gets you sent to a psychiatrist, who will give me pills that I will abuse and make it even worse. Or if someone takes it seriously, I'm worried that the procedure will kill me.

I have tried summoning him following questionable directions found on the internet, but it doesn't work, I think because he's already here. I want him to suffer at least a little, he already has my soul so I want to hurt him as much as possible before I get dragged down to hell.

I mean

You know they have better ways of treating addicts than giving them more pills and saying "have fun" right

Even if it is a demon, try fighting it with modern medical science

# ? Jan 15, 2019 13:56

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:43

Blaze Dragon: Aug 28, 2013; LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

Trail runner goon: it's more likely that your phone is old and malfunctioning, my old S6 did the exact same stuff and I can assure you I've never seen men in suits in unexplainable places. The other stuff may just be paranoia. You may want to change your phone regardless, if it's constantly being tracked hard enough to have hardware issues you probably shouldn't keep it anyways.

Possessed goon: :therapy:

The only demon possessing you is yourself. Or, at the very least, all of your issues seem to come from addiction rather than demonic possession, so deal with that first, afterwards you can check if there's a demon around. Hell, don't go for the exorcism first, demons can make for some fine buddies. But emotional and mental issues do not.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 14:33

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

On the off chance the demon confession is real, if you need to talk to someone that went through addiction stuff and got through it you can PM me. Or I'd suggest going to a NA meeting and talking to people. I know lots of people have issues with the whole AA or NA thing, but if you find a good group it's more about being there for each other than doing any of the steps.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 14:44

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

I am becoming more convinced every day that I am possessed and want to contact the church, but I am scared they will just say I'm crazy

Idk, seems like a church would be the least likely place to get called crazy.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 14:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

tactlessbastard posted:

Idk, seems like a church would be the least likely place to get called crazy.

Depends on the church

If he found like a snake-handler church or one of those speaking-in-tongues joints he'd probably get to have a really nice unsettling exorcism ceremony

# ? Jan 15, 2019 14:48

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

loquacius posted:

ultra marathon distances; around 15-30 miles

The most popular ultra marathon is the one that is shorter than a normal marathon.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 15:34

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

The Diddler posted:

The most popular ultra marathon is the one that is shorter than a normal marathon.

Yeah, the distances made me chuckle.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 15:52

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Blaze Dragon posted:

Trail runner goon: it's more likely that your phone is old and malfunctioning, my old S6 did the exact same stuff and I can assure you I've never seen men in suits in unexplainable places. The other stuff may just be paranoia. You may want to change your phone regardless, if it's constantly being tracked hard enough to have hardware issues you probably shouldn't keep it anyways.

Possessed goon: The only demon possessing you is yourself. Or, at the very least, all of your issues seem to come from addiction rather than demonic possession, so deal with that first, afterwards you can check if there's a demon around. Hell, don't go for the exorcism first, demons can make for some fine buddies. But emotional and mental issues do not.

Yeah, I feel the same things and have the same thoughts minus the demon when I'm struggling with alcohol. Getting diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD has helped with feeling the need to self-medicate, and I'm finally feeling like I can function without alcohol. I'm not at the point I'm actually in control, but I'm getting there. And the idea of even trying to be sober isn't so terrifying anymore. Basically I'm saying yes please get help demon goon.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 19:11

Tinestram: Jan 13, 2006; Excalibur? More like "Needle"; Grimey Drawer

Demon goon sounds like schizophrenia to me.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 19:32

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

runupon cracker posted:

Demon goon

Mehrunes DaGoon

# ? Jan 15, 2019 19:43

jobson groeth: May 17, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

The new plat icons are for people who donated over Christmas to help keep our wonderful forums dev in food over the break while he was given a forced break because the boss wanted to shut down the business for a few weeks.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 20:27

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

jobson groeth posted:

The new plat icons are for people who donated over Christmas to help keep our wonderful forums dev in food over the break while he was given a forced break because the boss wanted to shut down the business for a few weeks.

Thank you for this announcement.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 20:53

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

runupon cracker posted:

Demon goon sounds like schizophrenia to me.

Could be. I have delusions when I'm manic. Psychosis can crop up with a bunch of mental illnesses, and I'd think a drug addiction wouldn't help. Hell, it could just be the drugs if it's meth or something. Either way, demon goon should head to a hospital and tell them he needs to detox and get psych help.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 21:57

necroid: May 14, 2009

El_Elegante posted:

Mehrunes DaGoon

lol

# ? Jan 15, 2019 22:47

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

I always thought Beelzebub was just another word for the devil himself, and after googling it he seems to be a lot of different things depending on the source. I've learned from exorcism movies that you need to be sure on the name of your demon to get it out, so you better do some more googling addict goon.

Or just, you know, stop doing drugs with the help of medical professionals. Even if you get an exorcist (which is almost guaranteed to be from a questionable source because I've heard the catholic church is very aware of mental illness and it's very unlikely you'll ever convince them your possession is legit) they will either do nothing or at worst, kill you.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 00:24

8 Ball: Nov 27, 2010; My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

Personally I think it�s kinda comforting to know someone is keeping an eye on me, maybe I should take up trail running

# ? Jan 16, 2019 02:28

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

A goon in Thailand is a big trail runner. He was out in the wild one afternoon and found himself suddenly surrounded by Thai military with weapons pointed at him. He spoke enough Thai to explain that he was not in fact a spy and was just out for a run. They explained to him that he had run his way onto a firing range. Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, they took him to a bunker and let him watch while they fired off rockets and grenades for the rest of the day.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 03:10

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Dear Running Spooked in Santa Barbara: Post your map you coward. They're already on to you.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 03:28

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Gonna guess that the TLA agencies with secret hideouts in the forest aren't wearing suits and driving conspicuous vehicles.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 12:06

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

Like, if the Men In Black really gave a poo poo, they would have been waiting at the car when he got back, and bang, another missing hiker.

Otherwise, they can't monitor every birdwatcher or hiker who happens to wander into a 'bird sanctuary'.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 14:20

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

That dumb track runner story reminded me of a strange occurrence. Last spring I went on a walk with a couple of friends in a park and in the surrounding woods. This place was in our college town in upstate NY, only a few miles from campus, and that Saturday it was overcast and generally kind of lovely weather-wise (upstate NY).

After some frisbee in the park we decided to go on a "hike" (leisurely walk) on a nearby trail. After a time we got off the designated trail and started down a smaller, less well defined path that ran along a stream and passed through a lot of brush and fallen trees. There were a few students and families hanging out in the relatively small community park area, and one or two hikers along the marked trail, but once we entered the path in the woods we were completely alone. We followed that winding path until we reached the end, a small clearing bisected by the stream, with a strange assortment of points of interest.

There was a half-finished (or half-destroyed) structure made up of three wooden posts connected by two lengths of string, forming an L-shape, with two tarp blankets hung on the string to form a sort of wall. One of these tarps had slipped off and hung somewhat to the side of the middle post. Logs and sticks were arranged lengthwise both at the base and opposite, forming a square foundation with the wooden posts standing upright at the corners. Within the boundaries of this domicile was a makeshift table comprised of round, flat stones. They were balanced seemingly precariously on top of each other, with a few stone seats and a log placed around it. The "altar," as we ended up calling it, was covered completely in brightly colored chalk writing - generic college hippie stuff like "live laugh love " and "all we have to fear is fear itself." In one of the corners to the side of the altar was a pile of sticks and stones which looked to be arranged like a campfire, but there was no ash or charcoal or other traces of a fire.

This structure's open side faced a very large and long fallen tree trunk which stretched over the nearby river. By the worn look of the top side of the trunk, it was apparent that it had been used to reach the other side of the clearing. The log's ends sat on the opposing banks, which rose about four feet above the water level, and the water couldn't have been more than a foot or two deep.

Upon closer inspection of the encampment we found pieces of paper scattered around. All of them were folded exactly twice, length- and width-wise, and all of them were blank, save for bits of dirt. We also found an unmarked neon green rubber ball (possibly a dog toy or stress ball) and a single black sock that must have belonged either to a child or a very, very small college student. At this point we're convinced this is or was a hangout for drug abusers, but we couldn't find a trace of drugs anywhere - no white powder, no syringes or needles, no bongs, no spoons, no lighters, not even any cigarettes.

The most adventurous of the three of us, Adrian, decided to walk over the log to the other side. My other friend Tom and I continued to hang out by the weird encampment theorizing until Adrian suddenly called out to us from the other side to come over and check something else out. He wouldn't tell us what, and Tom and I refused to use the log, so we headed back on the winding path to the fork with the main trail, used an actual bridge to cross over the stream, then doubled back to the other side of the clearing and met up with Adrian.

We found a fresh deer carcass. It appeared to be fresh anyway, since it was covered in hair and had most of its soft parts. The eyes, however, were half eaten, and inside the eyeholes were wriggling maggots or worms. They were black instead of pale yellow like I would have expected, which struck me as odd - covered in dried blood maybe? The deer was also missing a tail, as well as a significant chunk of its hind quarters, but was otherwise untouched. We couldn't figure out how it died - there was no arrow or gunshot wound that we could find (we dared not disturb the body for complete confirmation), and "bitten in the rear end by a wolf or bear" was dubious since our area has no documented wolves or bears. At least, that's what we heard.

After some more exploring and composing of grand theories about occult college students, we left and went back to our lives. We told a few people about our findings, and ended up going back to show some other friends two weeks later - our girlfriends and Adrian's roommate. While the encampment was more or less undisturbed save for all the writings being washed away by rain, the deer carcass was completely gone. We traveled to the exact spot where the three of us found it and there was absolutely no trace of it - no hair, no bones, no worms, no blood stains. It simply vanished. Tom guessed the wolf had come back to collect it's kill, and that we had missed it the first time by mere hours. Adrian, meanwhile, almost seemed legitimately convinced that drugged-up cultists had sacrificed the deer anus on the altar as part of a ritual, and consumed the remains later on. I personally don't know what to make of any of it, but the whole thing has become a fun story within our friend group. Maybe not so interesting a read now that I've written it down

Oh and I guess my confession is that I really want to bone Adrian's gf.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 14:46

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

I think I'm being surveiled because I stumbled upon a secret government site. Also, I wrote an email to a dead gay forum talking about it because there's no way for the government to track electronic communications.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 15:20

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Trail running goon, did you not have your phone on you the entire time? Running alone in the woods without a phone seems unwise.

And if you did have it on you, then how could they bug your phone? *taps head*

Also who still has a landline?

# ? Jan 16, 2019 15:23

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Smartphones have really ruined the whole genre of conspiracy nonsense.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 15:36

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

that last fesh seems like he stumbled on a current/former homeless dude's shelter (or some non-drug addict kids just messing around in the woods) and a deer that died and was in the process of being picked apart by scavengers and wanted to make it spooky. It is kind of weird and finding stuff like that in the woods is pretty fun (as long as you don't get stabbed by whoever is living there or get mauled by a bear), but I'm going to go with "not spooky cultists" on this one.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 15:50

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Atlas Hugged posted:

A goon in Thailand is a big trail runner. He was out in the wild one afternoon and found himself suddenly surrounded by Thai military with weapons pointed at him. He spoke enough Thai to explain that he was not in fact a spy and was just out for a run. They explained to him that he had run his way onto a firing range. Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, they took him to a bunker and let him watch while they fired off rockets and grenades for the rest of the day.

this story could only get better if he ended up firing rockets too

# ? Jan 16, 2019 16:31

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I guess confessor thinks deer don't die unless they are killed.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 16:31

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

tactlessbastard posted:

I guess confessor thinks deer don't die unless they are killed.

Next thing you'll be telling me people die when they are killed.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 16:41

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

poppycock

# ? Jan 16, 2019 16:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

This forest is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 16:50

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

yeah I eat rear end posted:

that last fesh seems like he stumbled on a current/former homeless dude's shelter (or some non-drug addict kids just messing around in the woods) and a deer that died and was in the process of being picked apart by scavengers and wanted to make it spooky. It is kind of weird and finding stuff like that in the woods is pretty fun (as long as you don't get stabbed by whoever is living there or get mauled by a bear), but I'm going to go with "not spooky cultists" on this one.

Im gonna have to vote spooky cultists because its more fun

# ? Jan 16, 2019 17:06

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I'm more betting on making poo poo up and/or taking some hallucinogens or just getting skittish and making the dumbest assumptions based on seeing a bunch of rocks and a dead deer.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 17:07

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

that was a really boring story but you should post about your feelings for your friend's gf on r/relationships (to provide content to the corresponding GBS thread)

# ? Jan 16, 2019 17:23

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Next thing you'll be telling me people die when they are killed.

I've heard that but I can't confirm it

# ? Jan 16, 2019 17:29

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

As someone from upstate NY, none of that sounds really odd. Especially lmao at being confused by a dead deer

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:08

Tinestram: Jan 13, 2006; Excalibur? More like "Needle"; Grimey Drawer

Trail running goon stumbled on the remains of a corporate team building event, the deer carcass is just a coincidence.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:09

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Araenna posted:

As someone from upstate NY, none of that sounds really odd. Especially lmao at being confused by a dead deer

but it had BITES on it. Animals know better than to start eating a dead animal they just find in the woods, think of all the germs.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:11

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Araenna posted:

As someone from upstate NY, none of that sounds really odd. Especially lmao at being confused by a dead deer

And also being surprised to find that it's not there anymore two weeks later. I'd be more weirded out if it was still there.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:13

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Araenna posted:

As someone from upstate NY, none of that sounds really odd. Especially lmao at being confused by a dead deer

I bet dollars to donuts this guy was a long island implant

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:16

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:43

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

We all have wanted to bone Adrian�s girlfriend at some point in our lives.

# ? Jan 16, 2019 19:22

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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