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La Brea Carpet posted:A guy [24m] in my friend group that I slept with months ago wrote me [22f] a long, weird poem about us after seeing me at a party quote:Two birds were flying through the sky, With winds that brought them side by side, So they flew towards the earth to lie, And for a moment slow down time
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Jan 17, 2019 23:29
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ParserGirl posted:She should have waited to tell her son until the day his dad actually showed up at the door with the tickets and his luggage. I'm pretty sure dear ol' dad is the one who told him.
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Jan 17, 2019 23:30
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Haifisch posted:Several pages back, but OP eventually posted the poem: I've seen some bad poetry in my time, but this poo poo is like, viscerally bad Why did I read this. What did I think was going to happen
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Jan 17, 2019 23:31
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Play posted:buy a wig quote:The only thing I can think to do is to just wear my wigs till it grows out
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Jan 17, 2019 23:31
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i like nice words
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Haifisch posted:Several pages back, but OP eventually posted the poem: It's not even laughably terrible. It's just pathetic and sad
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Jan 17, 2019 23:31
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SciFiDownBeat posted:It's not even laughably terrible. It's just pathetic and sad I think it’s all of those things? but I’m a known dick about that kind of “poem.”
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Jan 17, 2019 23:35
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yes your reputation precedes you i have heard of tales of burial's repudiation of mediocre poetry
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Jan 17, 2019 23:38
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big trivia FAIL posted:yes your reputation precedes you i have heard of tales of burial's repudiation of mediocre poetry Fine. I’m an unknown dick. I’m just as OK with that. 
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Jan 17, 2019 23:41
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The poem is way better than I was hoping for, unfortunately.
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Jan 17, 2019 23:43
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cumshitter posted:I've had mine bleached so much that's it's airport tarmac white. I don't even know what my butthole looks like anymore because it is reflects all light. Lovers have described it as "like a mirror, but not, and I can vaguely see the face of God in it." *lurking in the corner of a dark tavern with haunting gaze and a tankard of ale" "Aye, I saw something in that arsehole to be sure. But it weren't no god."
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Jan 17, 2019 23:46
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Sagebrush posted:Uhh 60ml is a quarter cup, lol mouth pipet and everything.
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Jan 17, 2019 23:55
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Straight White Shark posted:However, last month I had a conversation with Peter and he advised that he’s bought the flights/accommodation/tickets totaling around $3,600USD, Straight White Shark posted:I wish I had the money to take him to Disneyland myself. But I’ve had to accept that is not the case so I desperately need advice. How do I deal with Peter? How do I help my son get through this? I mean probably if you asked him for the tickets it would turn out he was lying and never bought them, and "single mom" doesn't seem like a good fit for "can get immediate time off work for an impromptu vacation", but it seems like it'd be worth a try
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Jan 18, 2019 00:02
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i don't think she's stupid enough to believe for a single second that it would be worth asking him, come on e: and an airline ticket in his name is useless to her InediblePenguin fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Jan 18, 2019 |
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Jan 18, 2019 00:14
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Would be a decent poo poo stirring move to call him out to prove that he bought them.
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Jan 18, 2019 00:19
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My [M 30s] wife [F 20s] put an ingredient she knows I can't eat into a soup today.quote:Sort of unsure as to how to approach this.
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Jan 18, 2019 00:22
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Turtlicious posted:during a beej i just swallow them. im already about to swallow like 4tbsp of cum who am I fronting for? I thought the average was six. This is very disturbing.
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Jan 18, 2019 00:26
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No garlic, are we sure this dude isn't already dead and posting from hell?
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Jan 18, 2019 00:28
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"aspiration through right ear"
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Jan 18, 2019 00:31
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Haifisch posted:My [M 30s] wife [F 20s] put an ingredient she knows I can't eat into a soup today. jesus man you can't eat tomatoes and garlic. what kind of made up disease is this? is it fibromyalgia of the stomach?
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Jan 18, 2019 00:34
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Straight White Shark posted:Son’s (8M) father (29M) backed out of a promised Disneyland trip. Son is absolutely heartbroken. What do I do? Text back that you told your son that he would "make it up to him" by paying his way through college.
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Jan 18, 2019 00:45
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Anne Whateley posted:Play posted: fine im changing my advice. find your old hair in the garbage and tape it back on kimbo305 posted:The poem is way better than I was hoping for, unfortunately. same. very disappointing. she described it like "a poem a child would write" so I was really expecting some masterpiece of autistic relationship poetry. this isn't good or bad enough to get excited about. it just exists JFairfax posted:what kind of made up disease is this? its real, at least GERD is. my friend gets symptoms similar to a heart attack when it flares up. And he's completely quit drinking which is how I know it's real as he was a heavy and enthusiastic drinker his whole life and nothing but intense, constant pain could've changed that
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Jan 18, 2019 01:39
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Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:I don’t think the person who got beat by the 10 year old said they were a man. I guess they could be a woman, which would make their weight and lack of upper body strength more understandable. You should still be able to beat a 10 year old though, that’s kind of sad. She/he needs to hit the gym. And also consume a few more calories. INCORRECT, when I said I weighed more and was shorter and was still a skeleton, I happened to still have a vagina! Goddamn, what do you think women consist of, feathers and plastic straws?
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Jan 18, 2019 01:58
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Midnight Voyager posted:INCORRECT, when I said I weighed more and was shorter and was still a skeleton, I happened to still have a vagina! Goddamn, what do you think women consist of, feathers and plastic straws? Resentment and jealousy, IME
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Jan 18, 2019 02:05
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Midnight Voyager posted:INCORRECT, when I said I weighed more and was shorter and was still a skeleton, I happened to still have a vagina! Goddamn, what do you think women consist of, feathers and plastic straws? I weigh about what that poster does and I’m about six inches shorter, so I’m aware of how skeletal someone like that would look. I’m saying a woman that height who weighs 110 is still less weird than a man of the same height/weight. Maybe the OP is a runway model and she spends so much money on coke she doesn’t have any left to buy food  Or maybe it was a typo but I prefer my version.
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Jan 18, 2019 02:17
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My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again?quote:Right, so this is the dumbest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I can't believe my older brother, Rick, is acting like this.
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Jan 18, 2019 02:17
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pretty sure he's gay now via the process of "vegan transference", sometimes known as "rear end to mouth"
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Jan 18, 2019 02:24
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Haifisch posted:My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again? Christ, who gets whiny about vegan mashed potatoes? Maybe if they sucked, but he obviously didn't mind them before. I just imagine the brother asking if the fiance was still vegan in the smarmiest way possible. "Heyyyy, did you remember how great butter tastes, marg-boy?  "
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Jan 18, 2019 02:26
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Haifisch posted:My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again? Ask your brother to lower his soy intake, he seems really emotional lately.
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Jan 18, 2019 02:34
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Cum in the potatoes. It satisfies both sides ethical philosophies. -Centrism dudeness fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Jan 18, 2019 |
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Jan 18, 2019 02:37
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Haifisch posted:My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again? this is what happens when you name your kid rick
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Jan 18, 2019 03:22
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Play posted:pretty sure he's gay now via the process of "vegan transference", sometimes known as "rear end to mouth" *waves gay tricorder very gaily, reads screen, nods sagely*
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Jan 18, 2019 03:32
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Haifisch posted:My (28f) brother (32m) freaked out because my fiance brought vegan food for Thanksgiving. He's threatening not to come if it happens again? Ah, so this comes up a lot in these kind of relationships. The issue here isn't necessarily Henry, but it does involve him. You see, your brother feels like he's had his masculinity drained. When he saw Henry place those potatoes in his luscious mouth, he became enamored with him. Confused even. It's okay. It happens to everyone that sees a vegan eat food. Simple sexual envy is all it is. I'm afraid, though, that if you want your brother to come to terms with this that Henry needs to gently caress him while shoving his head into a bowl of those vegan potatoes. Only then can Rick come to terms with this confusing experience.
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Jan 18, 2019 03:36
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AITA for wanting to make extra money doing DoorDash when my girlfriend doesn’t want me to. I (18M) recently signed up for the food delivery service door dash and I told my girlfriend that I was going to do it and she instantly said no. I asked why and her only reason was “I can’t tell you how many time I’ve answered the door half naked” (after a shower with a towel). Basically saying she’s afraid I’m just gonna get showered in hot babes on my deliveries. I told her that it’s just a job and nothing more because that’s literally all it is. I’m still planning to go through with it because her reasoning seems a bit jealously ridden and possessive but I don’t know if this is disrespectful to her opinion in some way
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Jan 18, 2019 03:38
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Do you think hes yet thought through the implications of what his girlfriend said or do we need to get him on a boat in the middle of the ocean
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Jan 18, 2019 03:44
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QuarkJets posted:No garlic, are we sure this dude isn't already dead and posting from hell? If I eat roasted garlic I get a horrible migraine. It's the worst trigger besides fluorescent lights. Raw garlic can do it if I eat too much. I can eat a couple cloves cooked in sauce and be fine. My mom's Italian, and garlic is one of my favorite foods. I also can't do pork, lime, some corn meal, dark liquor or black tea because of tannin I guess, celery, and I'm allergic to crab. Most of that I never liked much to begin with, but the garlic and crab sucks. I know someone allergic to everything in the nightshade family and then a few other things though so at least I can still eat all my favorite vegetables without dying.
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Jan 18, 2019 03:56
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for wanting to make extra money doing DoorDash when my girlfriend doesn’t want me to. I read the title assuming it was gonna be an issue of availability, like dude picking up a side job that sucks up all the free hours of their relationship. Read the two sentence post and concluded she was cheating on him. Wild ride.
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Jan 18, 2019 04:06
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Play posted:What I understand from this is that you either don't know many 24 year olds or you are 24 years old. This world contains an infinite number of failson/faildaughter loser sponges who don't want to work and are always the victim What’s wrong with not wanting to work?
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Jan 18, 2019 04:41
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El_Elegante posted:*waves gay tricorder very gaily, reads screen, nods sagely* The term is obviously gaydar
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Jan 18, 2019 04:53
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Palemdromes posted:What’s wrong with not wanting to work? Because most people don't have the finances to support themselves & their lifestyle without a job, and end up mooching off others who may end up resenting the fact that they're subsidising the lifestyle of someone who clearly doesn't respect the work they put in for that money. If you don't want to work and can support yourself, good for you! Go nuts
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Jan 18, 2019 05:00
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bell jar posted:Because most people don't have the finances to support themselves & their lifestyle without a job, and end up mooching off others who may end up resenting the fact that they're subsidising the lifestyle of someone who clearly doesn't respect the work they put in for that money. And many of the people who would have the finances to support themselves without working would generally fall into the worst categories of upper class parasites who contribute nothing to society while actively consuming its labor.
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Jan 18, 2019 05:07
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