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Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

Imagine posting this thread without naming it Sex Ring Shrimp smh

Also lolling forever at rubmaps

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evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

iamsosmrt posted:

Whoops I forgot the 4. Edited.

Pretty sure he is and also 26 who does the same poo poo

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
It would be lolworthy if Kraft was trashy enough to go to a seedy strip mall rub and tug but classy enough to only hire the matron to service him.

Tim Whatley
Mar 28, 2010

The net positive to this story is a bunch of cops had to dig through trash for the privelege of gathering old man cum napkins, fuckin owned

iamsosmrt
Jun 14, 2008

The whole cum rag in the dumpster thing reminds me of this Chappelle classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0GrXnKFWs8

evilweasel posted:

Pretty sure he is and also 26 who does the same poo poo

Ah I missed the oral sex implication without them spelling it out like with 4. I guess he wasn't one of the guys to get a finger in his rear end.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
TRUMP!

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

This whole document is like something out of a Coen Bros movie.

And now this means the video isn't just Kraft walking in so that's gross and will probably leak on TMZ any minute now.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Tim Whatley posted:

The net positive to this story is a bunch of cops had to dig through trash for the privelege of gathering old man cum napkins, fuckin owned

Imagine getting assigned to work that beat. (Lol beat)

Johnny Five-Jaces
Jan 21, 2009


Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, who is worth over six billion United States dollars, paid $80 for an underaged Asian sex slave to crank his greasy hog.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Rubmaps dot com.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

Johnny Five-Jaces posted:

Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, who is worth over six billion United States dollars, paid $80 for an underaged Asian sex slave to crank his greasy hog.

Actually it appears he paid $59 for a 59 year old

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Johnny Five-Jaces posted:

Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, who is worth over six billion United States dollars, paid $80 for an underaged Asian sex slave to crank his greasy hog.

The small silver lining is that both the women who were doing the actual jacking were 40+

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF
I'm shouting rub maps dot com like infowars dot com and I don't think I will ever stop

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Imagine getting assigned to work that beat. (Lol beat)

:cumpolice: was right there, man.

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Hot Diggity! posted:

I'm shouting rub maps dot com like infowars dot com and I don't think I will ever stop

World Staaaaaaaar

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

sweet thursday posted:

That's the thing. Everyone local to an area knows a rub n tug is a rub n tug. I'm sure Kraft knows all the spots in his neighborhood and was smart enough to stay away from them. Why did he think flying to the bottom half of the country and doing obvious poo poo there would turn out any different?

Tell me again why he is worth so much for his supposed decision making and leadership capabilities?

I dunno if someone answered already but he lived around the corner and this was his regular rub and tug location.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

evilweasel posted:

Actually it appears he paid $59 for a 59 year old

:cop: "That just raises more questions!"

And by raises I mean :dong: obviously.

solarjetman
Jan 27, 2001

Fun Shoe
there is also a weedmaps dot com, which always reminded me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdw1ZK585RU&t=5s

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Mr. Nice! posted:

I dunno if someone answered already but he lived around the corner and this was his regular rub and tug location.

Salty rear end dolphin fan cops were waiting for their moment to strike

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Maybe Kraft legit got tired of banging younger escorts and did this rub and tug with middle aged women because it made him feel more emotionally fulfilled or some poo poo.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Miami Miracle 2

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Eating a 59 year old lady's vagina and paying her a dollar for every year she has been alive and also the twist that she's a slave owner is a pretty peculiar fetish but I'm not here to kink shame.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Watch the lady be a spitting image of his dead wife.

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Love that the default info rub maps dot com provides is whether an establishment has a sauna, jacuzzi, and semi-truck parking.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

I can't get over that all these guys come in, get naked and lay face-down on the bare table. Like they have to know what has been going on on that table all day.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Watch the lady be a spitting image of his dead wife.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Maybe Kraft legit got tired of banging younger escorts and did this rub and tug with middle aged women because it made him feel more emotionally fulfilled or some poo poo.

or he’s just a dirty, lovely old man

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Ehud posted:

or he’s just a dirty, lovely old man

He can be both. Dude is visibly drunk and leering at younger women every time he’s out in public.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

He can be both. Dude is visibly drunk and leering at younger women every time he’s out in public.

I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to be totally honest with me

what’s your account name on rubmaps dot com

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Ehud posted:

I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to be totally honest with me

what’s your account name on rubmaps dot com

I wouldn’t be stupid enough to go on there since it probably puts you on some law enforcement list.

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Ehud posted:

I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to be totally honest with me

what’s your account name on rubmaps dot com

Tug Speedman

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Hot Diggity! posted:

I'm shouting rub maps dot com like infowars dot com and I don't think I will ever stop

Write this on your body and streak sporting events like all those guys who did that for GoldenPalace

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
has this been posted

https://twitter.com/sportsrapport/status/1099005747940216833?s=19

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Chinatown posted:

has this been posted

Yeah, the only question is is it Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods or Donald Trump Jr.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Kalli posted:

Yeah, the only question is is it Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods or Donald Trump Jr.

it's the coo of citigroup :laffo:

https://twitter.com/business/status/1099046892032479232

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



hell yeah.

Adun
Apr 15, 2001

Publicola
Fun Shoe

*former* coo can't be the big na,e

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

That's A big one, but is it THE big one? :quagmire:

Also: lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

three
Aug 9, 2007

i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole
I don't think the former COO of Citigroup is a bigger name than Robert Kraft.

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO
I for one am looking forward to Georgia Southern vs Utah State in the RubMaps.com Bowl

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sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011


I guess on some timeline he's a bigger name then the owner of the patriots

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