waah posted:

What if we had like smart bullets, that would only hit the bad guys.

Haifisch posted:

My (22M) boyfriend (34M) spends all of his time with his ex-wife (34F) and children (11F/9M)

quote:

The time he spends with his children already goes way beyond his allocated parenting time, though.

Rubellavator posted:

Also, age gap, come on.

Barudak posted:

They usually just ask for a copy of the license if its needed for any reason so they can make a note in their system. You could not show it to canada to hide it from them, but given Canadas relationship with the US I wouldnt assume some system of the two wont gab behind your back about it.

Ytlaya posted:

This reminds me of something that happened with my cousin, only without the tax fraud. After failing out of college (where he stayed in a dorm), he basically carried on a charade of going to community college classes. My aunt finally ended up finding out somehow, but he kept up the act for a really long time.

Fortunately the story has a good ending. Cousin ended up becoming an EMT and is now training to be a paramedic. Some people apparently just can't deal with academic work/stress but are suited for stuff that (in my opinion) is way harder and more stressful. It was a big relief because I was really worried about him for a while; he used to just play DotA constantly, in addition to the "not going to classes" stuff, and other people are mostly powerless when it comes to getting someone out of that kind of funk/depression.

Pirate Radar posted:

I bet they could try to just not inform the Canadian government, and probably get away with it, at least for a while, but the consequences of ever getting caught in that lie would be pretty frustrating.

quote:

Recently, one of my boss' in-laws moved out to our area; they've all been spending time together, and I got to meet them, which was great. I think they're all very pleasant people.

If it helps give some context for my reaction to what happened, I have a very long, very traumatic history of bullying, toxic shame and abuse. I'm also in my first year of living in this city so I'm kind of alone. I suffer from a variety of trauma-based disorders and depression.

After work, my bus stop is quite literally across the street, so when traffic is light enough I just shuffle over instead of using the crosswalk. When the odd car happens to come by, I either let it pass or they wave me across when it is safe to do so.

Today, traffic was okay so I did my shuffle. A car made a turn onto the street, slowed down to stop, and I saw the driver wave me across. I engaged in a quick trot, before the car abruptly swerved over and lurched towards me. I just kind of kept walking and glanced towards the car like 'Really?'. I think I was honestly expecting to die, or be severely injured.

As I stepped on the curb I heard a bunch of people laughing and calling my name. The car that swerved at me was occupied by my boss, her husband, and her in-laws. They all said hi and I returned an awkward, semi-frozen greeting. A short while later, my boss texted me apologizing if she had scared me, even though she wasn't driving.

I feel embarrassed, hurt and kind of angry. When I inevitably see the housemates again, I want to say something like "Who the gently caress taught you how to drive? That was some poo poo I would expect from douchey high-schoolers who still think two tons of metal and rubber is a toy" or "Hey would you mind actually hitting me next time instead of being an rear end in a top hat about it?"

But obviously I can't do that.

So how do I handle this maturely? I just keep having flashbacks to the bullying, being humiliated and laughed at, people thinking hurting me was a joke and leaving me to pick myself up.... I'm just so shocked that this kind of behavior would come from people in their 40's.

Tl;Dr - My boss' housemate swerved his car towards me while I was crossing the street. Everyone in it laughed and said hi like nothing serious happened, but it just made me feel humiliated and reminded me that I don't want to live and would rather get hit by a car.

Edit: Oh wow.... Did not expect this kind of support. Just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who took the time to respond, I really appreciate this ♡ I'll try to respond to everyone.

Edit 2: I appreciate everyone saying I should go to HR; however, the business I work for is super tiny, so HR isn't really a thing. I am their only official employee. So, what that means, is I actually have a lot of power because me quitting would do a lot of damage.

quote:

Wanted to start off by saying thank you to everyone who gave me very helpful advice when I posted the first time. Really, truly, thank you. I felt so supported and so validated, and very much so wished I could show the thread to my bosses.

About a week ago, I confronted my boss who was the one in the car laughing at me. It took me literally months to work up the courage, since this kind of conflict (asking for a need/to feel safe) is really hard for me. This is how it went down:

Boss comes in to tell me things before leaving

Me (before she leaves, putting my work down for a second): "Hey, um, can I ask a favor?"

Her: "Yeah?"

Me: "Can [driver who swerved car at me] not come around while I'm here any more?"

Her, serious: "Why, did he do something?"

Me: "A while ago, he swerved his car at me, and everyone laughed, and I'm kind of not over that."

Her, blunt: "...Okay." leaves, slamming the door on her way out

That was my Friday. The day before I came back to work, my bosses texted me saying we would be having a team meeting the morning I returned to the office.

During the meeting, I was told explicitly by both bosses (it was a bit of back-and-forth between the two, but this is the gist of what they both laid on me) :

"You do not get to ask people to not come here. You will be respectful to our guests. When they're here, they're not just hanging out, they're working(*). And they work without getting paid."

*They do a lot of minor handy-man projects like building shelves, painting, minor plumbing, and sometimes hand-writing out some of our documents. They've done some food runs for my boss as well.

Me: "But he swerved his car at me. It's a car, I thought I was going to die! A car isn't a toy!"

"That's just his normal, I mean, we [bosses are sisters] drive by each other all the time, flip each other off, scream gently caress You in the street. That's how [driver] grew up, that's totally normal for him. If you feel uncomfortable around him, then you can leave."

I was not allowed to speak. I was not allowed to share my piece. My bosses were so aggressively back-and-forth that I felt teamed up against, and that I was being attacked. By the end of the meeting I had my head bent, and was shaking and crying. I lost the ability to speak after being verbally shut down.

I know a lot of you are going to say 'You need to quit your job and find somewhere else'--and yeah, if this was any other company I probably would have quit on the spot. I'm so depressed right now and dread every day I have to go in; but really, I'm not good at anything else. It's a small business and it's something I'm actually really good at; other people who have come in compliment my work: "Wow, this is a professional product!" "That's beautiful!" "Our clients really love you and the work that you do" "We know you're really good at this so we're handing this project off to you, you do such a great job". I get to lock myself in a room and just work alone for hours at a time, which I really need.

Also, since I posted last, I started seeing a therapist. Since this incident (the team meeting), I started seeing her twice a week. She thinks that the work is good for me: she can see how happy the work itself makes me, how it fulfills a part of my life. She also thinks that my bosses are toxic people who clearly trigger me, and she also believes they have some sort of boundary issues and/or personality disorders. She supports me cutting my hours and potentially applying for disability for my mental health problems.

Thank you for reading, I hope everyone is doing okay today <3

Tl;Dr - A few months ago, my boss' in-law swerved his car at me as I was crossing the street. Last week, I asked that he not be allowed at the office any more because I was still hurting over it. I was sat down in a team meeting and told I'm not allowed to ask things like that, and if the in-law is at the office, then I am the one who needs to leave. I'm now seeing a therapist twice a week and she thinks my work environment is toxic.

Ask A Manager posted:

I work in a small office (about 20 people at this branch of our company) and we have two individual restrooms (as opposed to stalls) in our central hallway. There is certainly a smell situation because the hallway leads to all major sections of the office, but in general, people try to control this with air fresheners, PooPourri products, etc. Sometimes a book of matches is left there, which seems to help the most.

In the last few months, however, a coworker has begun to — from what we can best understand — light clumps of toilet paper on fire, throw the burning toilet paper into the toilet, and flush. Ashes often skitter down the hallway, like smoky tumbleweeds. The whole office begins to smell like a poop barbeque. This has begun happening at least twice a week, often more.

Now, I thought people understood that matches work to mask odor because of the sulfur released, not because of the fire. Clearly, this individual does not realize this. We all know who it is, because he’s one of the few smokers (i.e., carries around a lighter) and also has been seen walking away as the ashes go flying.

I have asked my boss (not this person’s direct boss) to speak to him, but he deflects and says we don’t actually have proof, and nothing wrong has technically happened yet. This person’s actual boss is the least confrontational person in our company, so I know he won’t do anything either. My boss said, “We’d have to email the whole company and ask them to stop lighting toilet paper on fire,” and I said, “That’s fine! It’s dangerous and disgusting! Explain the science of matches to them!” but my boss keeps deflecting.

Do I need to just let this go, or should I continue pushing my boss to do something? I’m seriously worried this person is going to accidentally set our building on fire from the bathroom out.

I am picturing your coworker striding out of the bathroom with smoke and ashes billowing around him as strobe lights flash and Metallica plays.

It is magnificent.

But only because I do not smell the poop barbecue.

I don’t see any reason you can’t just say something to this guy directly the next time you see him emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of ash. Like, it’s totally reasonable that you might comment on that! In some ways, it’s actually weirder not to say anything when you see that.

You could say, “Holy crap, did you light something on fire in there?” or “Whoa, are you okay? What’s with all this smoke and ash?” … followed by, after whatever weird response he gives you, “You’re not actually lighting anything on fire in there, are you? That would be dangerous. The matches aren’t intended to start fires, they’re just supposed to be lit and immediately blown out.”

Your boss’s reluctance to address this in any way is weird. You don’t need “proof” to say to someone, “Hey, are you setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom? Please don’t do that if so; it’s dangerous.” (And this wouldn’t be based on just a hunch; you have seen the ashes.)

In many offices, if you hadn’t already talked to your boss about this and explicitly been told that he doesn’t want something sent to the staff email list, you could have just sent that message yourself (assuming your office is small enough that it wouldn’t have been bizarre for it to come from you rather than an official facilities spokesperson or so forth). But now that your boss has vetoed it, that’s more complicated.

Really, though, if no one around you is willing to take this on, you can just say something to the guy yourself.

Pirate Radar posted:

Doc Hawkins posted:

orrrrrr next time he goes in there you break down the door and spray him with a fire extinguisher

Chomp8645 posted:

If there is one thing we could unironically use 1000% more of in this country it's people calling police when someone with guns starts talking like a lunatic.

Haifisch posted:

My (22M) boyfriend (34M) spends all of his time with his ex-wife (34F) and children (11F/9M)

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I shot and killed an attacking dog, what next? (North Carolina)

Yesterday evening I was leaving my house to walk my dog when I was attacked by 2 large pit bulls in my driveway. As they charged at me I yelled "someone come get your dogs!", but nobody came to help. I received a quick snap on my arm, but was wearing long sleeves and suffered no broken skin or real injury. My dog was bit up some, but nothing too serious.

​Although the attacking dogs seemed more interested in killing my dog than hurting me I was in fear of serious injury, especially because the ~160 pounds of dogfight at my feet was knocking me off balance into my car, and if I fell I would be very vulnerable to being bitten on the head or neck.

​I was able to draw my legally carried handgun and shoot the larger and more aggressive dog once. After the shot, both dogs stopped attacking and ran off. My dog and I went back inside, where I made sure neither of us were seriously injured, and called 911. I went back outside while on the phone with the dispatcher to search my yard and my neighbors' yards to try to render aid to the dog if possible. A neighbor ran around the corner asking "was that a gunshot?" and "where are my dogs?" I pointed the direction the dogs ran and told her where they went, but didn't say anything about the gunshot. My gun was still on my hip, and emotions were clearly high for everyone, so I didn't want to be in a conversation with an angry dog owner about why I shot her dog.

​An animal control deputy (in my county they are actually sworn LEOs who work for the Sheriff) responded to the call, asked for a written report, and took photos showing the saliva left on my sleeve from the bite. As I was in the driveway speaking to the deputy the woman drove up and yelled at me, asking why I shot her dog. The deputy took the woman's information and told her to get the dog to the vet. The deputy told me that the shooting was, as far as his criminal investigation goes, entirely justified and that he would be filing his report as a response to a "dangerous/potentially dangerous domestic animal."

​The deputy called me a few hours later to tell me that the dog had, unfortunately, died. He told me that that doesn't change anything in regards to his investigation, but to be aware that the owner could attempt to file for warrants herself or sue me.

​TLDR- Got attacked by 2 dogs in my driveway, felt that I was in danger of having my face eaten, shot and killed one of the dogs.

​Sorry for the long rambling post, but what do I need to do to protect myself here?

​Thanks

bell jar posted:

"yeah a dog slobbered on me so i shot it" a normal person

bell jar posted:

"yeah a dog slobbered on me so i shot it" a normal person

jobson groeth posted:

You're a better troll than that.

jobson groeth posted:

You're a better troll than that.

quote:

Hey everyone, I'm having an issue I think many people have been facing over time.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for a bit over 3 years. We were never supermodels, but we were in good shape. Over time we've both gained weight, and we've both struggled over the years to exercise regularly, but as soon as I started to notice that I need to buy larger clothes, I realized that I need to do something. My boyfriend did not.

He's been gaining so much weight that he avoids many old clothes because they are too tight. He is a bit over 180 centimeters tall and weighs 116 kilos [255 pounds], which according to a bunch of BMI index calculators he is already obese. Every time he does a medical check up or donates blood the doctors tell him to do something about his weight.

What is more, he smokes one pack of cigarettes per day. Now, he is a really great, insightful and intelligent person, but when it comes to actually doing stuff instead of thinking he is incredible lazy and unmotivated. He knows all the risks of obesity and smoking, he says he wants to lose the extra weight and give up smoking, but at the same time says he can't do it yet.

That he doesn't feel balanced enough in his life to implement such large scale changes. That he has his own pace of doing things and that he will eventually get there.

I'm really worried about his health. I know that internet calculators are no replacement for a doctor, but having an extra 30 kilograms [66 pounds] can't be healthy. Add to that 20 cigarettes a day, eating sweets and drinking Pepsi whenever cravings kick in, and I'm not so sure he's gonna have a good time.

At the same time, I have to confess this is becoming a turn off for me. His boobs are bigger than mine. He gets tired quite quickly during sex. I don't want a dude with a six pack, but taking care of yourself, even if it's only running once a week, is an incredibly hot form of self-respect. I see working out first as a mental challenge and a must for health, and then a way of getting a bit sexier. Exercising together would also be a really great way of bonding.

I suggested eating healthily together, exercising together etc. Nothing works.

I truly love him, and I want for him all the best. I really don't know how to tackle this anymore without hurting him and making him retreat into his shell and get even more unmotivated.

If anybody has any advice and perspective, I'd be more than happy to read it. I really want to work through this.

TL;DR My boyfriend has gained 30 kilograms, he is aware but says he's got his own pace of dealing with things, I'm worried about his health and it's starting to affect our sex life

bell jar posted:

she could have fired the gun into the air to spook the dogs before straight up shooting one

quote:

This is about Brian, who was best man in my wedding. He's a good looking guy, but Brian has always had terrible taste in women. It's crazy because he is the flirtiest guy I have ever met. It's been nearly 10 years that I've known him and he has yet to date someone who my husband or I actually like. We often double date with him and his long string of women I would never have otherwise interacted with. I don't generally enjoy it, but do it out of love for the guys. When we go out, they tend to talk to each other about their shared interests, leaving it up to me to entertain the other woman. I've voiced my displeasure in the past but it doesn't get better for long.

Since I met Brian, he has:

* beat cancer, twice
* beat an addiction to meth
* survived a heroin overdose
* had his father commit suicide
* started running ultramarathons

He's been through a lot and has a lot of baggage. He likes to play it off, but my husband and I frequently worry about what will happen when Brian breaks his leg/twists his ankle running. Can he safely take opioid pain killers? We don't even know.

Remember how I called him flirty? The night of my rehearsal dinner, he told me he was going to make out with my mom, who is very happily married to my dad. At the time, I was drunk enough to disregard it, but it's always been one of the weirdest things that happened at my wedding... I feel like it is indicative of his poor decision making. Like who does that???

So fast forward to now, Brian has beat cancer and dated several train wrecks. One of whom was 20 and cheated on him repeatedly while he was in chemo. That was fun to help him get over... These days, he is doing very well and getting quite a following on Instagram because of his running. He talks about reaching out to women all the time on Instagram. How he doesn't use tinder anymore. We joke that he's just another insta-wh*re. I swear, everytime I saw him he was talking about another running girl.

I threw a New Year's party this year. At the party, Brian and my best friend ended up having sex. They're adults and I told her about his Instagram habits. A month ago, he hit her up via Instagram and they dated for a bit. She said she could tell he was dating a lot of people because he kept repeating himself and kept mistaking facts about someone else for her. No hard feelings but she was quick to move on.

Over the weekend, Brian told my husband that he is semi seriously dating a 19 year old. He has met her parents. Brian told all this to my husband while I was out of the room. My husband told me on the drive home.

My issues are

1. Brian knows what he is doing isn't okay or he would have proudly talked about it in my presence like he has every other girl. Instead he whispered in secret.

2. I hope there isn't a 19 year old alive who is mature enough to deal with Brian's baggage so even if he picked the most mature 19 year old, I doubt she can be the support he needs. But Brian is absolutely terrible at picking women so it's pretty much guaranteed that he is going to expect too much from her.

3. He was dating my friend just a month ago. It is possible to respectfully date a much younger person but if he has already met her parents in this short window, he isn't doing that. Or there is significant over lap, in which case, he's doing that wrong too. He's such a flirty guy and I have watched him send girls incredibly mixed signals.

4. I dated an older guy when I was a teen. I didn't realize at the time how messed up it was. In retrospect, there were so many little things that I would never put up with now that I was okay with because a guy with a real job and money was into me. I didn't realize how powerless I was in that relationship for many years.

My first reaction was to refuse to meet the girl. But I posted on another subreddit and realized that that wasn't sending the message I wanted to send. So I have asked not to see Brian for a while.

Unfortunately, my husband's birthday is coming up. My refusal to see Brian means my husband doesn't want the party we'd been planning ("what's the point if my best friend is banished from my home"). We are doing other things already but the cancelation of the party has led to a big fight.

My husband says that Brian isn't doing anything illegal and I'm treating him like a murderer. I say the Brian is doing something morally repugnant and I want no part in it and I will not be able to keep civil in his presence. I have stood by Brian as he moved from woman to woman. There have been times where I have felt like a bad feminist for it. But this is where I draw the line. She is a teenager, 14 years his junior. I can't sit by. I consider this predatory behavior. I am disturbed by it.

My husband said repeatedly that he wished he hadn't told me. I said that I would consider that a massive lie of omission that would seriously damage my trust in him. He was shocked that I feel that way. He asked if he can see Brian and I said I won't stop him

My faith in Brian is shook to the core. I don't know where to go from here. I don't feel like he owes me anything like an apology, but I feel like I need to forgive him for something and I can't do that yet. I don't feel so strongly about my husband but I am pretty disappointed in him. The fact that he thought not telling me would have been a better option...

But there is a voice telling me that they are adults and I'm making a mountain of a mole hill. So please am I over reacting? What should I do next?

Tldr: My husband's best friend is a flirt with poor taste in women. He's dating a 19 year old and I don't want to see him. My husband and I are conflicted.

Haifisch posted:

All formatting OP's.

My [23F] boss' [40'sF] housemate [40'sM] swerved his car towards me as a joke, and I'm the only one not laughing.


Three months later:

[Update] My [23F] boss' [40'sF] housemate [40'sM] swerved his car towards me as a joke, and I'm the only one not laughing.

quote:

I thought everything was going smoothly. We have our dates, we shop for groceries and do chores together. The last few months I've been particularly happy about us spending more time together on a shared hobby.

My only issue is she killed our sex life (once in a few months) and I just stopped initiating for fear of rejection. Could it be that? But I tell her how hot she is frequently.

She is sayig things that I just don't see, like how the love in my eyes have faded. I feel like thats just the fatigue from work lately. Can't be all sparkly eyes everyday.

I know I should be talking to her but she is so emotional, angry and dismissive now. I am scared to make things worst going in half assed.

Tl:dr: I'm living the life but wife thinks I don't love her and my world is crumbling now, help.

Op posted:

My only issue is she killed our sex life (once in a few months) and I just stopped initiating for fear of rejection.

quote:

How long have you been together and how long ago did she "kill" sex? Have you ever talked about this with her, about how you feel? If so, what did she say?

Op posted:

11 years. Died about 4 years ago, but it was never very high. she just says she has a low drive.

quote:

OK. So we have a code red. There's no magic bullet here. Back to basics friend.
Get the book 5 Love Languages ASAP. The audiobook is great. Not long. You can listen tonight. Figure out her LL and speak it! (This really works).
Read or listen to Love & Respect. It may sound boring for dudes like us, but it's really good.
Don't waste a moment. Have a goal of getting both books done by Sunday.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?


It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?

Xik posted:

My wife suddenly says I [30M] don't love her and thinking of divorce. Help.


And from the comments:




Also what is it with so many people on reddit having a hard on for the love language thing? poo poo is embarrassing.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

OP posted:

I know. But why do I have to wear something someone wore for my entire life?

OP posted:

Thus sounds like the item description of something in Skyrim. Jokes apart, I never meant to to snub it's sentimental value only it's aesthetic value.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

First I just want to say that I'm not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts but we do gift each other a lot of things.

I and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a 4yo daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany's. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.

The day comes and I'm really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved and I'm the only woman he'll ever love. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.

It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

secondhandring • 200 points • submitted 20 hours ago posted:

I hosed up big time.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

First I just want to say that I'm not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts but we do gift each other a lot of things.

I and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a 4yo daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany's. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.

The day comes and I'm really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved and I'm the only woman he'll ever love. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.

It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

First I just want to say that I'm not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts but we do gift each other a lot of things.

I and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a 4yo daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany's. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.

The day comes and I'm really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved and I'm the only woman he'll ever love. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.

It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?

quote:

Yeah YTA, I’d advise not marrying someone who who have these instant feelings about. If my mother gave a me a ring that sentimental and special I would expect the live of my life to appreciate it and not question if I was being “cheap”. I hope you find someone who can meet your rich taste. Don’t settle for average.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

A commenter says:


She responds: "Duude that was harsh. I didn't mean it in that way."

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mad at my(29f) boyfriend(28m) for proposing with his mother's ring?

First I just want to say that I'm not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts but we do gift each other a lot of things.

I and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a 4yo daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany's. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.

The day comes and I'm really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved and I'm the only woman he'll ever love. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.

It's all sweet and cheesy but it doesn't look great. Also, I don't want the begining of my new life to start with a second hand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He's not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong? AITA?

quote:

We don't even have tight finances. He's an investment banker in a renowned company.