|
Xik posted:She must spend a small fortune on socks Seriously!
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 09:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 30, 2024 13:29 |
|
|
You had your shot and missed. This could have been your bulletball.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 09:59
|
|
|
Looks like you wont be Queen of poo poo Mittens Barudak fucked around with this message at 11:20 on Mar 1, 2019 |
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 10:51
|
|
|
AITA for forgiving my dad’s killer, taking 5k from granddad, and trying to take all my dad’s money? Dad killed in a t-bone collision. It was a very traumatic situation for all of us. My mother, wife and I live locally while the rest of the family live very far. Taking care of things fell on my shoulders. Not, like, "Diggy, you must take care of XYZ" but more like "Diggy, just make sure Mom's okay." Court date came for this guy. Everyone had returned back East, so I went. It was super quick, over in like ten minutes. The judge sentenced him to probation, license suspension, and Cal-Trans work. (road work on the freeway.) After court, I followed him outside. To this day, I don't know why. I said, 'Hey. Do you know who I am?" He turned around and said yes, and he got silent and then said "I'm sorry for your Dad.” I talked to him for maybe 10 seconds, then I hugged him. (I feel SO CRINGY thinking about this now) I told him it's okay, I forgive you, and that was that. My family was FURIOUS. How could I do that? You were representing the FAMILY! We all agreed at the funeral we were going to make this bastard pay! I told them it was the only thing I could think of. It was too much, and didn't want to hate anyone, I was too tired. Their reactions ranged from anger to disappointment. Not one family member was on my side. My grandfather gave my wife and I $5,000 after the funeral in response to a letter I wrote telling him how dad's death made my life struggle even worse. This triggered my family. I’m a greedy bastard. I was under obligation to share it. That was not your money, its OUR money. Grandpa died shortly after the funeral, and it was assumed as the 'last of the family line' that I would distribute it. Trying to do the right thing, I went through dad’s mail, found out his bank account info, and accessed it online. I then did some sleuthing how to get the money out, full intentions of giving it to mom. I didn't go so far as to contact probate lawyers which was the next step. When I told mom what I was doing, "that is not your goddamned money, you are a thief and a disgraceful child and are disgracing your father's name" along with accompanying hate from my sisters. My contact with my family now is so formal to the point of sarcastic, and no amount of explaining or apologizing has made a bit of difference. If I'm the rear end in a top hat here, so be it. edit driver was high at the time. That’s why I refer to him as killer.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 10:57
|
|
|
There is a gap in this story big enough to drive a car through and not kill anyone
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 11:23
|
|
|
Barudak posted:There is a gap in this story big enough to drive a car through and not kill anyone He says in the title he was trying to take all his father's money. I'd certainly like to hear a bit more about that. Also, how lovely is this family that they're going to war over $5k? You should have spread it out to everyone  Okay, now everyone gets enough to buy a McHappy meal.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 12:24
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA ordering pizza at an upscale Italian chain? Upscale and chain restaurant are two separate things.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 13:51
|
|
Cat Army
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA ordering pizza at an upscale Italian chain? It wouldn't be on the menu if they didn't want people to possibly order it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:49
|
|
|
Wow another real-life poopsock story
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:50
|
|
|
blackmet posted:It wouldn't be on the menu if they didn't want people to possibly order it. Look at this scrub who doesn't know restaurants always have a trap item on their menu to weed out plebs.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:54
|
|
|
QuarkJets posted:Wow another real-life poopsock story Brace yourselves: TIFU by cumming into a coconut EDIT: I got an AMA thread now. Help me: /r/tifu/comments/6rwl9z/tifu_by_being_the_guy_who_cummed_into_a_coconut/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=new&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=tifu This TIFU didn't happen today but quite a few years back. For obvious reasons I'm using a throwaway account as my family knows my main reddit username. Anyway, around 8 years back I lived in Northern Mozambique, a coastal southern African country with quite a warm climate. My mother at the time was going through a 'health nut' phase and only buying foods she deemed healthy enough. One of these was coconuts. She would buy several coconuts a week to use in food from the local market. Anyway, being a horny teenager I fapped in regular intervals. Unfortunately there was some severely stressful examinations coming up for me and as such my fapping reached a higher peak then usual and I was feeling pretty sexually frustrated. One day I hear that my mother is going to be out for pretty much the entire afternoon. Horny me decides that it would be a fantastic idea to gently caress a coconut. Honestly to this day I can't fathom why I thought that would be a good idea but my train of thought back then was clearly somewhat clogged. I end up grabbing the coconut drill and through 20ish minutes of concerted effort end up creating a hole large enough for me to stick my porker into. I decide it requires some lube and grab the nearest slippery thing (some butter) before shoving it into the coconut followed shortly by my meat. I gently caress the coconut and it actually feels pretty drat good so I blow my load, shove the coconut under my bed and continue about my day. For the next week the coconut is my saviour. Whenever I want to get off I simply take it out and gently caress it in its delightfully tight hole made better each time by accumulating volumes of my semen and butter acting as a lubricant. It's heaven. Now before I continue I'd best mention that at the time our area was experiencing quite humid, muggy weather which exacerbated an already existing fly problem. Disgustingly fat, bloated flies were commonly found around our house and the exterminators couldn't really do anything because it was a localized area problem that would "go away in the winter". About a week and a bit after the initial coconut gently caress (I had been using it pretty much every day since then) I begin to notice a few more flies than usual as well as an odd, unpleasant smell about my room. Must be the coconut right? So I decide that I'll gently caress it once more before I throw it out and get a new one. Worst mistake I have ever made. You see, the reason for the increased number of flies was that the coconut was evidently, in hindsight, a nearly perfect place to lay eggs. As I penetrate the coconut one last time I begin to feel a strange wriggling sensation. Puzzled, I pull my cock out to discover that it is COVERED in rotted and moldy butter and semen and TEEMING WITH TINY loving MAGGOTS. They were wriggling all over my dick head and some were even trying to force their way up into my urethra. I screamed, and threw the coconut against the wall which made the situation worse by spilling the contents. Hours of vigorous cock scrubbing, vomiting, and cleaning the remnants were spent reflecting on what the gently caress I was doing with my life. Never again. NEVER AGAIN. TL;DR Don't gently caress coconuts. EDIT: Jesus this exploded. I'm glad my maggoty experience made some people laugh, because I sure cry everytime I think back to it. EDIT 2: RIP inbox EDIT 3: Thanks for the gold. It eases my shame a little. I'm thinking of doing an AMA for you more curious individuals. Maybe if the post hits 10K - it's quite uncomfortable to discuss though as the visceral memories come back EDIT 4: My shame has never been this large. 47.1K upvotes. My story of coconut loving is now permanently etched into reddit's history. Lord save me.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:54
|
|
|
I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice)quote:Long story short, my friend wants to go to law school but has no experience. He asked if he could be my power of attorney to get some experience and I agreed because I wanted to help him out. But I’m not happy with what he’s doing and I can’t figure out how to make him stop. reddit posted:How in the world does being your POA give him relevant law school experience? That...doesn't really make sense. OP posted:He explained that this was a normal thing people do to get experience on their resumes when they can’t get legal jobs. He helped his gf a lot with a similar arrangement and I thought I didn’t have anything to worry about.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:57
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for forgiving my dad’s killer, taking 5k from granddad, and trying to take all my dad’s money? This reads like the script to a Yorgos Lanthimos movie.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 15:58
|
|
|
Dear lord, what total idiots. I just looked that word up to make sure it doesn't have other meanings and I'm not misusing it like we do with 'retard' etc. But no, idiot perfectly describes these people handing over PoA: they are educated enough to know what the phrase is, means, and implicates, and yet are so unintelligent as to hand it over for no good reason.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:01
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) This is a strange fetish
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:01
|
|
|
it's findom but the submissive is just stupid instead of aroused
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:14
|
|
|
It makes perfect sense, he's trying to build legal experience for his resume by getting himself sued.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:17
|
|
|
Serephina posted:Dear lord, what total idiots. I just looked that word up to make sure it doesn't have other meanings and I'm not misusing it like we do with 'retard' etc. But no, idiot perfectly describes these people handing over PoA: they are educated enough to know what the phrase is, means, and implicates, and yet are so unintelligent as to hand it over for no good reason. I'm not so sure the OP doesn't need a caretaker to manage their affairs frankly
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:31
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) oh my GOD what the fuuuuuuuuck
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:33
|
|
|
Straight White Shark posted:My (29M) wife (26F) suddenly decided she wants to adopt a baby that baby needs to Go
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:35
|
|
|
Power Khan posted:Brace yourselves: I don't have a penis, so I don't know for sure, but how could loving a coconut be at all pleasurable, even with lube? There's not much meat in there and the hair and shell aren't soft.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:36
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) [/quote] wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:39
|
|
|
Antivehicular posted:I don't have a penis, so I don't know for sure, but how could loving a coconut be at all pleasurable, even with lube? There's not much meat in there and the hair and shell aren't soft. Some guys just like obliterating their dicks either due to ignorance or a fetish. Friend of mine had a patient that masturbated by loving the gap between his mattress and the box spring of his bed, resulting in horrible scarring and injury.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:46
|
|
|
Antivehicular posted:I don't have a penis, so I don't know for sure, but how could loving a coconut be at all pleasurable, even with lube? There's not much meat in there and the hair and shell aren't soft. They're probably using a green coconut. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:51
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) Important PSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mghxZzWVO7A
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:53
|
|
|
QuarkJets posted:it's findom but the submissive is just stupid instead of stupid AND aroused
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 16:57
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA ordering pizza at an upscale Italian chain? Everything about this is cringey and hilarious at once. And I am not talking about the OP.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:07
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) I hope your parents have other children
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:18
|
|
|
Xik posted:She must spend a small fortune on socks I knew a woman who would wear a new pair of socks every day. She refused to wear socks that were not brand new. chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) you're in a weird sexual relationship with a dom and don't realize it
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:27
|
|
|
Antivehicular posted:I don't have a penis, so I don't know for sure, but how could loving a coconut be at all pleasurable, even with lube? There's not much meat in there and the hair and shell aren't soft. That's why he shoved butter inside Oo
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:27
|
|
|
chemtrail huffer posted:I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult (self.legaladvice) Dumbest motherfuckers alive.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:29
|
|
|
You know people are always saying that the US educational system is falling behind, that chinese kids can do algebra when Americans can barely add and subtract. You know what they aren't focusing on? That Chinese kids aren't giving their power of attorney to law school drop outs.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:35
|
|
|
post the POA thread please
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:37
|
|
|
"The specific name nucifera is Latin for "nut-bearing"."
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:46
|
|
|
Biplane posted:post the POA thread please First search result: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/avsgxi/i_gave_my_friend_poa_and_now_i_want_it_back_but/
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:47
|
|
|
r/legaladvice My ex lied about vaccinating our immune compromised daughter. Update. u/ThrowYouAway2213 quote:Wow, that last post got real popular it seems, for better and for worse. Seeing as you guys got were interested in it I thought I would come back with an update.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:53
|
|
|
Grape posted:Everything about this is cringey and hilarious at once. And I am not talking about the OP. Stories like these are entirely my jam. My family is all kinds of weird, and some of them absolutely refuse like, local Italian in favor of Olive Garden because it's a 'known entity'. Also everyone else in my family is a pussy because they'll bend over backwards and change up plans foodwise, becauase 'Well Jerry's coming to dinner, so we can't go there; the menu doesn't have chicken fingers or hamburgers!'
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:55
|
|
|
Power Khan posted:That's why he shoved butter inside Oo Yeah and he's getting made fun of because he didn't use coconut oil like any sane person would.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:56
|
|
|
I would have assumed that butter would be fine but I defer to the experts
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 17:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 30, 2024 13:29 |
|
|
LadyPictureShow posted:Stories like these are entirely my jam. Is it really Jerry? I've never known a worthwhile Jerry who wasn't a cartoon mouse or Jerry Lewis.
|
|
#
?
Mar 1, 2019 18:02
|
|