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My [25 F] friend [26 M] of six yrs saved my life a month ago. I feel indebted to him and don't know how to thank him or act, and it's affecting our friendship. Tldr: My friend of six years risked his own life to save me in a terrible car crash. I obviously am so appreciative, but I do feel indebted and beholden to him, which is making me withdraw to an extent. What should I say to him to make things normal again? Okay, so this is a bit of a story to say the least... I've been friends with 'Liam' for a little over six years- before anyone asks, it's always been purely platonic. Our extended friendship group is equal parts guys and girls, and we all date and form serious relationships outside of the friendship circle. Anyway, roughly a month ago (my memory is a bit sketchy here due to panic in the moment, so bare with me) Liam and I were driving to a housewarming on the other side of the city, he was the driver. It was one of those days where it was extremely hot in the late morning/afternoon (like 35 degrees c) and then it just started storming rain. I didn't know this then, but apparently that makes the roads oily and less safe... I certainly know that now! We were on the freeway and a car up ahead swerved and sort of turned 180 so I was viewing its side, and then the car in front of us crashed into it, and we crashed into that car- this all happened really suddenly and it was just a scary blur to me. So, there was a pile up and one of the cars had caught fire. It was really, really smoky... like you couldn't see the sky. When I started to actually realise what was up and try to get out of the car, I realised that I could barely move my foot... and then I looked at it and it was like, bent. It's weird but, only when I looked at it did it start hurting. So at this point I was pretty much hyperventilating thinking I couldn't escape and I didn't even realise what Liam was doing or check on him, because I am way shittier than he is I suppose  He opened my passenger door and yelled 'are you okay?' and was trying to pull my arm- we couldn't really hear each other because other people were yelling and screaming and a car alarm was going off. I tried to just stand on my one good foot and sorta hop through the wreckage, and so Liam noticed my foot and started carrying me in his arms. I am pretty short and thin, but Liam isn't what one would consider a strong guy, maybe medium strength but he doesn't work out or anything so I could feel him struggling and breathing heavy. He had to stop once or twice, just dropped to the floor with me in his arms still while poo poo's ablaze and only getting worse around us, but he never let me go. Eventually we made it over the freeway and to safety. Police, helicopters, firefighters and ambulances swarmed the scene (as it turns out, Liam's car did end up catching fire...). At the hospital, they found that my foot is broken. Liam was suffering from really bad smoke inhalation and had to stay in hospital for two nights- a doctor said it was probably exasperated because he was physically exerting himself so hard in carrying me/took longer to make it out of the smokey area- I felt and feel really, really guilty about that too. To the current issue (wow, sorry for the ramble, I think I did need to write it all out for the first time though to get my head straight). The following days after, when he came out of hospital we hugged and I thanked him over and over and he was all 'don't mention it'. As time's gone on though, I've been feeling really guilty, weird, anxious around him and like our friendship isn't 'even' anymore and I'll never be able to repay him for literally saving my life. I'm on crutches, and when he tries to help me with stuff I'm all 'no, no I can manage' which I know is stupid, but it's like I don't want to add to the debt. Plus, we had a bit of a gathering with our other close friends two nights ago and after Liam briefly explained the serious of events, this friend called 'Fiona' said to me 'oh my god, if I was you I would have told Liam to save himself and leave me behind'. That just crushed me... I probably should have. Has anyone been through anything similar? Will things return to normal? How can I repay or properly thank Liam? Am I an evil person for letting him rescue me?
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Mar 12, 2019 04:32
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 16:36 |
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Congrats on becoming the Chewie to his Han
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Mar 12, 2019 04:36
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The good news is you have a forever friend as you follow them around. The bad news is their son will one day kill them and youll be powerless to avenge their death.
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Mar 12, 2019 04:38
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Midnight Voyager posted:Er... You know Pensacola's in Florida, right? Yes? That's why I said Florida.
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Mar 12, 2019 04:39
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evil evil woman
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Mar 12, 2019 04:42
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Cat Army
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Plus, we had a bit of a gathering with our other close friends two nights ago and after Liam briefly explained the serious of events, this friend called 'Fiona' said to me 'oh my god, if I was you I would have told Liam to save himself and leave me behind'. That just crushed me... I probably should have. 'Fiona' is the rear end in a top hat, or at least really thoughtless. Why do people feel the need to announce that they would have made a "better" or more heroic choice than someone who's dazed in an emergency? I mean, both parties made it out and are basically ok--really you're going to blurt out "If I were you I would have just decided to die in the fire so as not to risk anyone else!"
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Mar 12, 2019 04:47
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I'm dating the "Well, actually..." guy. I'm 25F and my SO is 26M. We've been together for 3.5 years. Tl;dr at the bottom I don't know if he has always been like this or if it's something I only just noticed recently, but my boyfriend has been driving me insane lately. Every time we have a discussion, he gets so hung up on some negligible detail and he has to correct me on it. It isn't annoying that he is correcting me, it's just annoying the way he does it. He casually insults my intelligence and hypes himself up as a superior mind. He's disrespectful sometimes and it grinds my gears. Often he corrects me when I'm actually trying to articulate the same exact idea, and he just gets hung up on the syntax and won't let it go. He will assume the worst of my intelligence and go on a long-winded explanation of why I'm wrong when I literally just said the same drat thing (or tried to). This has been happening every time we hang out lately and it really sours my mood when he says, "well, actually..." and then basically repeats what I just said. Other times we will be discussing topics he knows more about, and I will be 100% incorrect about something. It's great that I have someone to let me know I've got the wrong info, but his approach is insulting. We both work in tech-support jobs, so we are both used to correcting folks and explaining concepts. What I don't like is when he finishes explaining a concept to me and then says something like, "It's fine, I explain these things to stupid people all day." I've begun seeing it with his family too. He is very smart. I get it. We all get it. But what is the point of tearing people down and acting like he is a god because he knows a tidbit they didn't know? It could be about history, music, math, science, doesn't matter. He seeks out opportunities in conversation to correct people and hang his superior knowledge over their heads. "Well, actually, if you paid even the slightest bit of attention, you'd know xyz. I just know these things because I like to pay attention to useful information like that... So I don't have to rely on other people to tell me the way y'all rely on me to tell you." Ughh. He is my best friend and I cherish him, but I wonder how to tell someone who is "always right" that their approach is all wrong. Any advice? Tl;dr My boyfriend corrects people in the most obnoxious, big-headed way possible. How can I tell someone like that to change their approach?
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Mar 12, 2019 04:48
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wouldnt surprise me if that is a really common thing to say from someone that has never been in that kind of situation
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Mar 12, 2019 04:50
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I'm dating the "Well, actually..." guy. ask him if you two are in a relationship
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Mar 12, 2019 04:53
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/r/relationships: not into her anymore but think about her daily
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Mar 12, 2019 05:56
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Smirking_Serpent posted:He is my best friend and I cherish him Why?
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Mar 12, 2019 06:05
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Araenna posted:Yes? That's why I said Florida. I just brought it up because the creepy brainwashing church that was mentioned is specifically in Pensacola. I'd think it's a solid option since this whole deal's in Florida. And I didn't realize Scientology was a particular thing in Florida as well.
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Mar 12, 2019 06:28
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Midnight Voyager posted:I just brought it up because the creepy brainwashing church that was mentioned is specifically in Pensacola. I'd think it's a solid option since this whole deal's in Florida. And I didn't realize Scientology was a particular thing in Florida as well. Scientology basically owns Clearwater.
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Mar 12, 2019 08:31
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AITA for enforcing school cursing rules equally? I'm a public high school teacher in a (US) middle-class district where the student body is split about 40% black, 50% white, and 10% other races (mainly latino). My school has a detailed cursing/profanity policy, including a large, but far from comprehensive, list of prohibited words and what each disciplinary step is. Both the "hard R" and "soft A" versions of the N-word are on the specific list of prohibited words. I've been teaching for the last 6 years and have always enforced every word on the list equally, regardless of race. However, in the last year or so myself and several other teachers have started to come under fire from parents for punishing black students for using any variation of the N-word in the exact same way that we would punish any white, latino, or other race student for saying the same thing. I've heard various arguments from both sides, but I want Reddit's take on the issue. For context, I am white, but of all the teachers under fire for the same issue there are black and Native American teachers.
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Mar 12, 2019 08:56
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AITA for not being attracted to my girlfriend’s body? I made an ALT account to ask this, since a bunch of my family follow my primary one. I’m also.. not completely sure of the rules here, so I’ll try to keep it as PG as I can. So, me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 3 years. We have fun together, and we really care about each other. (just to keep it simple.) I will say that she’s the first thin person I’ve ever been with. She’s flat, petite and pretty short. Most of the girls I’ve been with have been on the bigger side (in the good places..) and I’ve always been a fan of ... well, a bigger ~chest~ size. This all started when me and my girlfriend were watching Netflix a few nights ago and she randomly asked me if I was okay with her having a flat chest. (She’s always been insecure about not having b*bs.) I asked why she was curious about this, and she told me she noticed that I never really had anything to say about her chest, (and that day she had been trying on lingerie and none of the ones she tried on fit her in the *chest region. That kind of put her back mental funk where she thinks she’s not attractive if she doesn’t have a certain figure.) She said she was just curious. I told her I had to be honest, and said that I’m not attracted to her chest size, and that I actually prefer bigger b-bs. It’s not a turn off, having a smaller size but not a turn on. If I’m being honest, that’s why I usually prefer she faces away from me during intercourse. She was quiet for a while, and then she said she was going to go home since she had work in the morning. She texted me later on that night and told me what I said hurt her a little. She said we’ve been dating for a while and never brought this up, and that she feels like I lied to her. I told her I didn’t know what to tell her, and that I was just being honest (I was.). Am I being the rear end in a top hat here?
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Mar 12, 2019 08:58
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Show b-bs
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Mar 12, 2019 09:04
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not being attracted to my girlfriend’s body? I want this to be a parachute of the guy who just posted about telling a friend he didn't think his girlfriend was hot, hoping for a different answer this time.
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Mar 12, 2019 10:07
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for enforcing school cursing rules equally?
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Mar 12, 2019 10:43
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for enforcing school cursing rules equally? truly fascinating that anyone would want REDDIT'S definitely spicy takes on anything related to using words that other people would prefer you didn't e: oh motherfucker this is what I get for putting on dinner before hitting post
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Mar 12, 2019 10:47
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dreamin of semen posted:truly fascinating that anyone would want REDDIT'S definitely spicy takes on anything related to using words that other people would prefer you didn't Putting pop tarts in the toaster doesn't take that long.
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Mar 12, 2019 10:50
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jobson groeth posted:Putting pop tarts in the toaster doesn't take that long. pigs in blankets into the oven, thank you very much is this thread okay with r/relationships adjacent content that isn't from AITA? because uh r/wemetonline posted:I miss her, she was a heavy gamer
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Mar 12, 2019 10:55
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chitoryu12 posted:I wonder if it’s one of those really creepy and oppressive churches that feeds kids into the Pensacola Christian Institute. That place is so weird it got a Cracked article about how horrible it is. So, Scientology lite?
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Mar 12, 2019 11:22
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DemoneeHo posted:Just found my boyfriend's secret dildo/butt plug collection. I want to ask if this is really a thing, but I don't really want to know the answer.
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Mar 12, 2019 11:26
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MightyJoe36 posted:I want to ask if this is really a thing, but I don't really want to know the answer. Not only is it real but you gotta make the eggs yourself so its also a fun DIY project
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Mar 12, 2019 11:27
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MightyJoe36 posted:I want to ask if this is really a thing, but I don't really want to know the answer. Man is tireless in his quest to find things to stick his dick in or shove up his rear end. Remember, flared bases only.
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Mar 12, 2019 11:30
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Show me your b*bs
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Mar 12, 2019 12:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I'm dating the "Well, actually..." guy. nice to see fishmech getting out there onto the dating scene
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Mar 12, 2019 12:18
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Haifisch posted:Approved over $10K in CC charges at a strip club while extremely intoxicated. Something like this happened to a friend except they managed to hit the limit of his credit card so friendly gentleman in suits frogmarched him to the nearest cashpoint and persuaded him to withdraw the maximum amount of cash possible.
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Mar 12, 2019 12:37
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If you've ever had to deal with a "well, actually..." guy who is constantly wrong it becomes immediately infuriating because they'll always double down even if you just like show them for a fact that they're incorrect This has a good amount of intersection with the "that's just my OPINION, opinions can't be wrong" when they're talking about a thing that's just, like, a fact, it can't be your loving opinion that blue isn't a color you dumb piece of poo poo Anyway, she should kill him
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Mar 12, 2019 14:09
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well actually guy and super competitive strong girl should date
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Mar 12, 2019 14:25
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datajugend posted:well actually guy and super competitive strong girl should date ...so she can kill him and then move on to someone better?
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Mar 12, 2019 14:33
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yes?
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Mar 12, 2019 14:36
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Why doesn't the bigger,stronger female not just eat the weaker male?
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Mar 12, 2019 14:42
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My fiance (41M) overrode me as a parent (18F), am I being unreasonable to be upset? (9 months)quote:Long story, but my fiance is not my son’s dad. My son’s father wasn’t around for a long time and a bad drug addict. He has a crazy girlfriend who viciously attacks me verbally and on social media. She pushed my ex to be involved and he does it to impress her so now he’s trying to be involved—— of course right around the time I finally moved out of his parent’s house and am staying with my fiance a state over. There is nothing that is not hosed up about this story.
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Mar 12, 2019 14:56
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LadyPictureShow posted:My fiance (41M) overrode me as a parent (18F), am I being unreasonable to be upset? (9 months) So I started reading this and assumed the 41M's child was 18F and then like Wile E. Coyote it turns out I was already over the abyss and hadn't realized it yet
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Mar 12, 2019 15:02
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Blade Runner posted:If you've ever had to deal with a "well, actually..." guy who is constantly wrong it becomes immediately infuriating because they'll always double down even if you just like show them for a fact that they're incorrect
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Mar 12, 2019 15:21
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Barudak posted:So I started reading this and assumed the 41M's child was 18F and then like Wile E. Coyote it turns out I was already over the abyss and hadn't realized it yet let us all share in this horrifying experience it just keeps going too quote:Long story, I did not want to be engaged. He says he’s involved since we are engaged and that gives him rights especially since he’s been a parental figure to my son for most of his life. He tells me a lawyer confirms all of this for him quote:
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Mar 12, 2019 |
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Mar 12, 2019 15:25
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LadyPictureShow posted:My fiance (41M) overrode me as a parent (18F), am I being unreasonable to be upset? (9 months) In her submission history she revealed that she was also abused as a child by her mom’s ex-husband.
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Mar 12, 2019 15:38
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:let us all share in this horrifying experience All of her posts are like, no you don't get it, long story, things just happened to me. The last advice she wants is what to do autonomously.
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Mar 12, 2019 15:41
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r/legaladvice Drug dealer at my University got busted. I had to come in for questioning. Will I be in trouble? u/RamsIBanking quote:Hey guys im a freshman at university. I had a drug dealer who was also a student that I would buy from. Today I got a call to come in and I was questioned. I asked if I was in trouble and all they said was "Most likely not". They had me write a statement just discussing how often I bought from him and how I purchased from him. All they have on me was a snapchat notification on the dealers phone. No message, just "Snapchat from RamsIbanking".
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Mar 12, 2019 15:45
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