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ME: "Who remembers how to say 'hello' in Korean?" G2: "KONNICHI WA!!!!!" G3: "Hello! I am a man of Korea!" Y: "I remember! NI HAO MA!" (We had a bunch of stuff on Chinese New Year and they were assigned South Korea for a class project last week.)
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Mar 9, 2019 00:47
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"My mum ate a lot of food and that's how I became a baby in her stomach" "Yeah, that's not quite how it works"
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Mar 9, 2019 09:30
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More something he did rather than something he said: I asked my 2 year old son to go get the tissues on my dresser. He shouts "Yes! I DO IT!" And runs off. A couple of minutes later he returned with.. Two shoes. I guess I need to work on my pronunciation, but the Two Ronnies would be proud of him
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Mar 10, 2019 04:07
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 CAN it.
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Mar 12, 2019 10:40
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Credit where it's due: I totally did not know that.
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Mar 12, 2019 12:29
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Be careful so you don't day!
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Mar 12, 2019 15:35
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:
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Mar 12, 2019 18:04
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:
Carrot Man's nemesis content: 7yo today tried to negotiate DST as an excuse for not doing homework this week. Now I'm sitting here thinking about it, and with the sun going down later than usual, that's even less of an excuse it could have been in the first place. Child please
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Mar 12, 2019 22:22
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Me: If you get a sibling, do you hope it's a boy or a girl? My 3-year old: I hope it's a bike.
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Mar 13, 2019 17:32
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My son saw a Thunderbird and said, "I think that's a shar-pei!" "Do you mean 'Chevrolet?'" "Yeah!" I mean, wrong either way, but at least one makes more sense. marshmallow creep has a new favorite as of 22:27 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 22:24
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Gold.
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Mar 15, 2019 00:46
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"You are not the boss of me!" "When you are in the kindergarten I am." "You are only the boss of the kindergarten!" "Well, you're a part of the kindergarten." "No I'm not! You're only kidding with me!" "I am serious." "No, you're not!"
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Mar 15, 2019 15:36
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Welp, G4 made me and himself out of LEGO and made us kiss, so I guess I have to get divorced now. G1 is currently pouting because I said I wouldn't tell his mother than she needs to buy him an electric scooter during p/t conferences. "Miss Fleta, my tummy hurts! I can't eat ANYTHING, I can only eat the jelly!" nice try, kid.
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Mar 15, 2019 15:53
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Alhazred posted:"You are not the boss of me!" Ahh, the age of defiance*  *) "trodsalderen" in Danish, maybe the terrible twos in English? Fleta Mcgurn posted:"Miss Fleta, my tummy hurts! I can't eat ANYTHING, I can only eat the jelly!" nice try, kid. When my sister was little, I heard many exchanges like this at the dinner table: Sis: I don't like it! Mom/dad: But you haven't tried it... Just try it, it's really good! Sis: I tried it at kindergarten and I didn't like it No matter what the meal was, they'd served it at kindergarten & so clearly she knew that she didn't like it. Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 16:36 on Mar 15, 2019 |
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Mar 15, 2019 16:31
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Also one time she had a sore on her ear, I think she had had chickenpox something, idk. But she was picking at it and my parents were like "don't pick at your sore, it will leave a scare" Sis: It's not a sore. Parents: Yes, it is. Sis: No, it's just some raspberry jam that got on my ear. I bet if we had asked further, she would've revealed that she got the jam on her ear at kindergarten. Now her son is 4 months old, so I can't wait to hear what he has to say about it 
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Mar 15, 2019 16:39
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:"Miss Fleta, my tummy hurts! I can't eat ANYTHING, I can only eat the jelly!" nice try, kid. In my kindergarten we have a rule that you can only take one piece of fruit at a time and if you touch it you have to eat it. It took surprisingly long time before one kid realized how he could game the system: "You can't take both the banana and orange." "But I touched them both  "Krankenstyle posted:Ahh, the age of defiance* Alhazred has a new favorite as of 16:59 on Mar 15, 2019 |
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Mar 15, 2019 16:52
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Krankenstyle posted:
One time during lunch I followed a kid to the toilet, while he sat there he noticed something on his foot and ate it. Realizing that he had committed a faux pas he quickly said: "It wasn't poop, it was tomato sauce!" Luckily I had also noticed that it was in fact tomato sauce on his foot.
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Mar 15, 2019 16:56
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Alhazred posted:One time during lunch I followed a kid to the toilet, while he sat there he noticed something on his foot and ate it. Realizing that he had committed a faux pas he quickly said: omg thats fantastic
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Mar 15, 2019 17:38
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Mr. Sunshine posted:Me: If you get a sibling, do you hope it's a boy or a girl? Looks like you got a future gearhead.
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Mar 15, 2019 21:20
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I told my 7-year-old daughter that she can't have another dessert after dinner because she was eating snacks all freaking day, and she just starting bawling and melting down. After a few minutes I finally got her to respond to me "WHY IS LIFE NOT FAIR!? NOW IT'S 100% NOT FAIR!!" "Now? How unfair was life before I said no more desserts?" *long pause* "IT WAS 5% NOT FAIR AND NOW IT'S 100% NOT FAIR!"
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Mar 15, 2019 22:03
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U-DO Burger posted:I told my 7-year-old daughter that she can't have another dessert after dinner because she was eating snacks all freaking day, and she just starting bawling and melting down. After a few minutes I finally got her to respond to me You are history's greatest monster.
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Mar 16, 2019 00:18
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Your Taint posted:You are history's greatest monster. I disagree; if she considered life only 5% unfair prior to this incident, they're probably doing a great job! I made the mistake of showing a video that had a naked baby in it. The amount of "Please can we see the baby bum again!" was staggering. Oh, and we figured out how to make Baby Shark worse...or better. GRANDMA BUM DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO e: This just happened. G2 ran into the classroom. ME: "G2, why aren't you in Music?" G2: "I forgot something important! I forgot to tell you that today....I GET A FISH!!!!!" ME: "Yeeeeahhh! I love fish!!!!" G2: "His name is gonna beeeeeeeeeeee..." *emphatic ceiling point* "...SPIKE!!!!!!" ME: "Excellent fish name." G2: "Yeah! Okay, bye." He came back a minute later. G2: "ONE THING!!!!!!!" ME: "One thing, then go back to Music." G2: "OKAY! If I do good and I clean it, they gonna buy me a second fish. His name will beeeeeee...." *even more emphatic ceiling point* "....YELLOW! Okay, now I'm done for really." ee: G4 came into the class, looked at his toy stash (he has special needs, so I let him keep small toys around) and screamed, "WHY ARE THEY EQUIVOCATED?" I still don't know what he meant exactly, but at least he said a full sentence in English that didn't have the words "bum" or "LEGO" or "I hate you" in it, so I'm pleased. eee: I forgot- ME: "Guys, we need stop calling people ugly all the time." (I'm paraphrasing my Teacherly Speech here.) G4: "Miss Fleta! You ugly!" EVERYONE ELSE:  G4: "YOU UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" ME: "I know, G4. Please stop shouting.* G4: "Hahahahaaha!" *in Spanish* "What is 'ugly?'" M: "Fea." G4:  "I'M SORRY MISS FLETA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 10:55 on Mar 18, 2019 |
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Mar 18, 2019 10:24
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Yeah, but not a lot of people managed to make someone's life 95% worse all in one go. quote:ME: "Guys, we need stop calling people ugly all the time." (I'm paraphrasing my Teacherly Speech here.)
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Mar 18, 2019 14:24
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:GRANDMA BUM DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO Baby shark is the bane to my existence. But sometimes the kids actually requests songs like Sound of Da Police and Enter Sandman.
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Mar 18, 2019 17:57
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"I just coughed out of the butthole in my mouth." --My 5 year old son.
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Mar 18, 2019 18:39
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Alhazred posted:Baby shark is the bane to my existence. But sometimes the kids actually requests songs like Sound of Da Police and Enter Sandman. Mine are obsessed with Smoke on the Water and this random K-pop song I played for them once, and now they can't stop singing it. They like to change the lyrics from "I'm very very gooooooooooooooood" to "I'm very very baaaaaad/faaaaaaaaaaat." KIDS: *a bunch of words involving "caca"* ME: "I'm learning a lot of Spanish today, but it's only poo-poo Spanish." A2: "YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!" Pretty loving good joke for a second-grader working in her third language.
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Mar 19, 2019 12:07
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"Can you buy me some candy?" "Candy is not allowed In the kindergarten, you can ask your mother to buy you candy." "You're my mother!"
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Mar 19, 2019 14:13
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My mom was taking the grandkids somewhere. Older Nephew: "Grandmama, I don't really care for apple juice." Younger Nephew: "Grandmama, I REALLY care for apple juice.
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Mar 19, 2019 14:21
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I was doing a factory reset on an old Galaxy S4 and my 7-year-old asked what the red glow was, so I gave her a spooky "Mwa ha ha" face with the phone under my chin. She asked if I wanted to see her scary face so I acted nervous and responded, "Ooooh... ok..." 
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Mar 20, 2019 16:06
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Consider me officially spooked!
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Mar 20, 2019 18:44
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Amazeballs.
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Mar 20, 2019 18:47
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The kids got in trouble last Thursday. G4: "Everything is awesooooooome! Everything is coool when you're part of a team--" ME: "G4, I don't feel very awesome." G4: "Oh." *silence* "EVERYTHING'S NOT AWESOOOOOOME! EVERYTHING'S NOT COOL AND THE TEAM IS BAD!!!!!" His English is getting way better!
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Mar 26, 2019 13:45
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:The kids got in trouble last Thursday. I hope he sang that to the same tune.
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Mar 27, 2019 03:58
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Jade Rider posted:I hope he sang that to the same tune. Yeah, he loving did!!
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Mar 27, 2019 07:40
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In the sequel there actually is an Everything's Not Awesome song. Those aren't the lyrics though so I'm sure he thought it up himself. Good job, G4.
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Mar 27, 2019 13:51
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Yesterday our word of the day was "crush." You can crush a piece of paper! You can crush a soda can! Boy 1: You can have a crush on somebody Me: (not thinking, doesn't shut it down immediately) *chuckles politely* You can have a crush on somebody! Boy 2: [Boy 3], I have a crush on you! Boy 3: *looks visibly uncomfortable*  
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Mar 27, 2019 23:31
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"Miss Fleta, I don't have a favorite animal." Can you write about the animal you dislike the most? "Yes! I HATE THE WHALE!!!!!" ....why?  .......tell me, A1, how did you come to dislike whales? "Because I see Megalodonte when I have three years!!! It eat a crucero!" A cruise ship? "A cruise ship and TWENTY BABIES!" ... "They were in the cruise ship! Miss Fleta, it not funny! Why you laugh?!??!"
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Mar 28, 2019 14:28
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Today one of the kids made what I can only describe as a murderhouse out of lego. He made a house with a balcony and everytime a lego man went out on the balcony it "collapsed".
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Mar 28, 2019 15:15
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A1: "I am the Queen of Anything!" Also A1, drawing a picture: "Look, it is the Queen of all the flowers! She is doing a fart now." ME: "What does it smell like?" A1: "I think flowers. It's just a picture!" J wrote about our trip to the beach yesterday. Her spelling and handwriting are not very good. She wrote, "My favorite part was when I put my tits in the water." feet
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Apr 4, 2019 17:32
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:A1: "I am the Queen of Anything!" One of the all time favorite songs in my kindergarten is the song about Little Piggy Farty: Inside the pig pen there lives three pigs daddy pig and mommy pig and little piggy farty *oink* goes the daddy pig *oink* goes the mommy pig but the little piggy farty just goes *faaaaart*
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Apr 4, 2019 18:01
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