USNEWS: Put a ratty-looking paperclip on the stimulus bill

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > USNEWS: Put a ratty-looking paperclip on the stimulus bill

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Rodenthar Drothman: May 14, 2013; I think I will continue
watching this twilight world
as long as time flows.

Looks like the plane was ... oscillating up and down.
Sound familiar?

Also, to head that one guy off - a system loving up and the plane not coming with the indicators (in an accessible place) to tell you exactly what's happening is ... not pilot error. The plane shouldn't come with a "didn't you read the instructions? The instructions said turn this off" trick system in order to safely fly.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 02:14

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:40

Zipperelli.: Apr 3, 2011; Nap Ghost

Rodenthar Drothman posted:

Looks like the plane was ... oscillating up and down.
Sound familiar?

Also, to head that one guy off - a system loving up and the plane not coming with the indicators (in an accessible place) to tell you exactly what's happening is ... not pilot error. The plane shouldn't come with a "didn't you read the instructions? The instructions said turn this off" trick system in order to safely fly.

Boeing offered that in the DLC

# ? Mar 15, 2019 05:31

Jethro: Jun 1, 2000; I was raised on the dairy, Bitch!

So, they added a new computer control system without telling anyone and charged extra for the bit that could tell the pilots when that system might go haywire
https://twitter.com/JGulner/status/1106362592606457856

# ? Mar 15, 2019 12:30

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Jethro posted:

So, they added a new computer control system without telling anyone and charged extra for the bit that could tell the pilots when that system might go haywire
https://twitter.com/JGulner/status/1106362592606457856

I checked the aviation thread, and the actual pilots there seem to think an AOA indicator is pretty much useless clutter. Or rather it should be. They think having a manual check for the one sensor driving a system that can't be disabled without entirely disabling electronic trim control is fixing the wrong end of the problem. It either needs to be fault tolerant or the MCAS should be easier to override, eg automatically turning off if the pilot gives commands opposite of what it's trying to do. Which is exactly what the previous version of the 737 did.

Blue Footed Booby fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Mar 15, 2019

# ? Mar 15, 2019 15:24

Oracle: Oct 9, 2004

Xarthor posted:

Request:

There was a twitter thread a day or two ago from a girl who used to write college entrance papers and other types of papers for wealthy clients (helping them cheat). She then goes on to talk about the advantages of going to these prestigious universities (even after graduating) and how she was STILL helping them write papers for things like charity boards and what not. Her first tweet in the thread was something like "to my current clients I am no longer doing this kind of work and I'm not proud I ever did it."

I meant to bookmark the tweet thread because it was really good but I somehow lost the link and my Google-Fu is weak.

Someone wrote it out and posted it to Facebook.

quote:

Jaimie Leigh
March 12 at 5:46 PM

I�m gathering from my feed that this whole college admissions scandal is really shocking to a lot of people.

Well, sit down, babies, because I�m about to deal you a hard blow.

This is nothing.

I think a lot of people seriously have no idea how thoroughly the system is rigged. I spent several years as a for-hire writer who couldn�t afford to turn work away. This means I accepted a lot of jobs I feel icky about now, but it also means that I�ve seen firsthand how this all shakes out.

(Important note: There is not a single person on my friends list who I am referring to with any of what I�m about to write. Also, I stopped taking the type of work I'm going to describe years ago. So if I�ve ever helped you with written material, or if I'm currently helping you: this does not apply to you.)

See, getting little rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace III into Harvard is just the first domino en route to prestige and pedigree. That�s why it�s so important; the first domino starts the chain. The richest of rich parents get him there by donating a library collection or buying a building. The middling rich, like those in today�s story, cheat (and don�t for a single second think the people indicted today are the only ones, because they are not, not, not).

The lowly rich hire people like me to write their kids� essays and letters, pull together their resumes, and figure out how to make years of abject mediocrity sound good. And they don�t only hire people like me. They also hire special tutors and test prep gurus to teach their kids to hack the tests. They pull strings to get their kids special accommodations they don�t need, so they have more time to get all the math problems done on the SAT. They get interview coaches who teach their kids what to say when they go for their appointment. They lean on connections to get Harvard and Yale take a "second look" at their C+ student with a 980 SAT score. These kids get a complete team, and the face rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace presents to the Ivy isn�t his own; it�s a composite of all the best expertise his parents� money could buy.

When rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace is in school, his parents hire people like me again. Want to know how many papers I�ve written for undergraduate students? Graduate students? I couldn�t even tell you. It�s a higher number than I can remember offhand. Need a magic paper to save your grade in the class you�re failing? Need to save your half-assed thesis? I�ve done it all. I�m a better-than-average writer and I made my clients look good.

All this work goes into making sure rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace graduates from an Ivy, because graduating from an Ivy�combined with the connections of Mom and/or Dad�means he gets internships at the best companies and firms. It means he gets interviews, even if his GPA is sub-3.0. It means he gets the best jobs when he graduates. He�s still an idiot, but now he�s an idiot earning high-five or low-six figures.

This is when the next dominos start to fall. rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace�s company is going to get him an executive coach. Because he has the right name and the right degree and the right presentation, so he�s tagged as executive material, and they�re going to start grooming him now so he doesn�t make them look stupid later. The coach is going to teach him how to present himself, what photos to put in his office, what suits to wear and how to accessorize. If rear end in a top hat is a man, the coach is going to teach him how to open large meetings with a sweet, humanizing story about his family, especially his kids. If rear end in a top hat is a woman, the coach is going to teach her how to be brusque with a smile and never talk about her family under any circumstances, especially not her kids.

Along with the executive coach, rear end in a top hat is also going to be assigned a mentor, someone accomplished and probably equally prestigious. The role of the mentor is to help rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace to meet the right people, form the right connections. The mentor is going to take rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace to events and make sure he knows all the power players in their city.

The coach, mentor, and senior-ups are going to guide rear end in a top hat McGloatyFace to volunteer and charitable giving opportunities. Not just any volunteering and charitable giving, but those that are well-aligned to rear end in a top hat�s decided-upon Personal Brand (TM). rear end in a top hat is going to learn how to give lots of money and make it known, without appearing to brag about it. rear end in a top hat is also going to get seated on the best non-profit boards in his city. Some of these are competitive. Want to know how I know that? Because they require an essay, resume, and bio. And guess who writes those.

So now rear end in a top hat is rubbing elbows with even more movers and shakers, and is establishing a high-quality Personal Brand (TM). At this point, rear end in a top hat has been promoted a couple times and is earning low-mid six figures.

Buckle in, because here�s where lots of dominos start to fall.

At this point, rear end in a top hat�s bio features an impressive school, an impressive job at an impressive company, impressive volunteer positions, impressive philanthropy, impressive Personal Brand (TM). This is enough to earn rear end in a top hat consideration for a whole host of things most average people have absolutely no awareness of. He�s going to apply for and be named one of his city�s �40 Under 40� and get a spread in a local, glossy magazine*. He�s going to apply for and get a position in his city�s �Up and Coming Young Leaders� program, and be interviewed on TV. He�s going to apply for and win a spot in his city�s �Wealthy People Pretending To Do Good But Really Just Hanging Out With Other Wealthy People� initiative, and get newspaper coverage.

I�ll give you one guess who writes those applications.

(*Note: I'm not making GBS threads on "40 Under 40." Some folks make it on there for genuine charitable good deed, which is awesome.)

By now rear end in a top hat�s been promoted again. He�s in his 40s, maybe 50s, and is earning high-six figures, and it�s time to go for the jackpot.

rear end in a top hat has now built all the right credentials to apply for a position on a for-profit board. He probably won�t get the first one, and maybe not the second, but he�ll get the third or fourth. How quickly he gets picked up will have a lot to do with how well he�s nurtured his connections and how fondly people remember his parents, who are now elderly or dead. He�s going to link up with a Fortune 500, be named to their board, and pull in a seven-figure paycheck for turning up once per quarter to listen to updates from the CEO and make management decisions.

He�ll need a resume, bio, and compelling personal letter to make this happen. Check, check, check.

rear end in a top hat is now making millions of dollars per year, earning millions more on a board, and, as a loving parent, is guiding his own children through the exact same process.

This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It�s not about the degree. It�s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration.

Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people didn�t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren�t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y�all, but it�s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren�t as perfect, because they didn�t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren�t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers.

THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it�s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won�t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you�re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-poo poo from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don�t let the door hit ya.

I�ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child�s �personal� letter. I�ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the �good humor� part of someone�s Personal Brand (TM) in a �personal� essay. THAT is how this works.

There�s no such thing as meritocracy.

The end.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 16:58

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

Oracle posted:

Someone wrote it out and posted it to Facebook.

This has always been (will always be?) true and is also why The American Dream� is such an insidious and ingenious lie.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 17:16

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

This, in a nutshell, explains a great deal about the idiotic decisions made routinely by corporate boards, resulting in the downward trajectory of many large, long-established corporations that are hurtling towards failure.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 17:22

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

PainterofCrap posted:

This, in a nutshell, explains a great deal about the idiotic decisions made routinely by corporate boards, resulting in the downward trajectory of many large, long-established corporations that are hurtling towards failure.

I saw the same thing at the federal military academies. Like literally "Mommy drew his engineering diagrams" for one of the people shooting for valedictorian. At least that fucker didn't get it.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 17:33

Mister Mind: Mar 20, 2009; I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm

https://twitter.com/josephmenn/status/1106578730904764416?s=21

# ? Mar 15, 2019 17:57

Stickman: Feb 1, 2004

You can�t post that without this gem!

https://twitter.com/josephmenn/status/1106578733975007232

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:08

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

I'm sorry, I don't believe the Beto story. I haven't heard a single other mention of any programming skills in his whole story.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:14

Mister Mind: Mar 20, 2009; I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm

Stickman posted:

You can�t post that without this gem!

https://twitter.com/josephmenn/status/1106578733975007232

Beto �20: HACK THE GIBSON. HACK THE PLANET.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:16

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I'm sorry, I don't believe the Beto story. I haven't heard a single other mention of any programming skills in his whole story.

The only way I'm voting for him in the Primary is if this is 100% true.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:24

Babylon Astronaut: Apr 19, 2012

Wait a second.. Beto O'Rourke. BO.. Back orifice! Cdc's mist famous hacking software. It all makes sense, don't you see?

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:38

Mierenneuker: Apr 28, 2010; We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

Beto '20, more like Beta 2.0.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:40

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

I'm back on the Beto train

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:45

Mister Mind: Mar 20, 2009; I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

I'm back on the Beto train

Thanks to his crew and Diebold voting machines, you never left! :tinfoil:

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:50

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Is Beto Rourke the coolest hippest candidate ever? Will this sway the young people vote? Clearly he needs to make some l337 references in his campaign.

Nope it�s Bernie. He�s the ironic anti hip daddy hipster

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:53

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Stickman posted:

You can�t post that without this gem!

https://twitter.com/josephmenn/status/1106578733975007232

Holy poo poo, I hope to God this is all true.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 18:58

Oracle: Oct 9, 2004

mobby_6kl posted:

Holy poo poo, I hope to God this is all true.

Its both true and a bit hyped up. He wasn't a hacker per se he just stole long-distance minutes back in the dark days of paying by the minute so his dial up modem wouldn't rack up a huge phone bill. That's about the extent of his hacking. He mostly wrote little essays and was out of the scene by the mid-late 90's when they kind of exploded. I don't think he even knows how to program.

# ? Mar 15, 2019 19:30

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

He made sure that hacker bullshit was out first.

https://twitter.com/ddayen/status/1106616493557440512

# ? Mar 15, 2019 19:36

HootTheOwl: May 13, 2012; Hootin and shootin

HootTheOwl posted:

Why? This is literally the situation where I said I wouldn't. The one where it was exactly as the last crash because they didn't turn the thing off.

OK, it's getting closer to poo poo eating time:

quote:

PK-LQP�s Angle of Attack sensors were disagreeing by 20-degrees as the aircraft taxied for takeoff. A warning light that would�ve alerted the crew to the disagreement wasn�t part of the added-cost optional package of equipment on Lion Air�s 737 Max aircraft.

Not being able to know is a good reason to ground the airplane.

HootTheOwl fucked around with this message at 16:49 on Mar 16, 2019

# ? Mar 15, 2019 21:34

Mister Mind: Mar 20, 2009; I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm

https://twitter.com/petebuttigieg/status/1106694962501042177?s=21

# ? Mar 16, 2019 04:15

osker: Dec 18, 2002; Wedge Regret

Babylon Astronaut posted:

Wait a second.. Beto O'Rourke. BO.. Back orifice! Cdc's mist famous hacking software. It all makes sense, don't you see?

Holy poo poo i completely forgot that was its name.

# ? Mar 16, 2019 15:59

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

osker posted:

Holy poo poo i completely forgot that was its name.

And still BackOrifice is more widely remembered than Microsoft BackOffice, which it was riffing on

# ? Mar 16, 2019 18:53

Hunt11: Jul 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

I know this isn't directly US news but I still feel like this should be posted.

https://nyti.ms/2JietHE

# ? Mar 17, 2019 03:34

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

Hunt11 posted:

I know this isn't directly US news but I still feel like this should be posted.

https://nyti.ms/2JietHE

From the NYT article -

quote:

A police spokesman said officers had arrested a 17-year-old man at the scene and later released him pending further inquiries.

(bolding mine)

What pieces of poo poo.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 03:47

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

I like how they arrested the kid that smacked an egg on the dudes head, but the senator that literally assaulted the kid with a fist to the face was left with a damaged public image.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 16:15

Spiffster: Oct 7, 2009; I'm good... I Haven't slept for a solid 83 hours, but yeah... I'm good...; Lipstick Apathy

FoolyCharged posted:

I like how they arrested the kid that smacked an egg on the dudes head, but the senator that literally assaulted the kid with a fist to the face was left with a damaged public image.

Diplomatic immunity for lack of a better term? I know Some state constitution gives protections to sitting members of Congress from prosecution as long as it doesn�t meet certain criteria (treason)

# ? Mar 17, 2019 17:30

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

FoolyCharged posted:

I like how they arrested the kid that smacked an egg on the dudes head, but the senator that literally assaulted the kid with a fist to the face was left with a damaged public image.

The prime Minister is encouraging the cops to throw the book at the senator

# ? Mar 17, 2019 23:33

Telsa Cola: Aug 19, 2011; No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface

FoolyCharged posted:

I like how they arrested the kid that smacked an egg on the dudes head, but the senator that literally assaulted the kid with a fist to the face was left with a damaged public image.

Kid got medically checked out and released without charges basically right after he arrived at the station and current rumors are that the senator might have assualt charges coming down the line so if anything it was handled fairly well?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 00:29

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

The day when Germany asks you to take an ambassador back because they're a Nazi.

https://twitter.com/andrewjgregor/s...ingawful.com%2F

# ? Mar 20, 2019 02:32

awesmoe: Nov 30, 2005; Pillbug

Cythereal posted:

The day when Germany asks you to take an ambassador back because they're a Nazi.

https://twitter.com/andrewjgregor/s...ingawful.com%2F

it seems like the people who want him gone are actually saying that because he wants them to pay more to nato
https://www.politico.eu/article/us-...fense-spending/

# ? Mar 20, 2019 02:54

Hunt11: Jul 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

awesmoe posted:

it seems like the people who want him gone are actually saying that because he wants them to pay more to nato
https://www.politico.eu/article/us-...fense-spending/

Is that actual spend more money on NATO or Trump wanting to be paid the protection money he believes he is owed?

# ? Mar 20, 2019 03:00

awesmoe: Nov 30, 2005; Pillbug

Hunt11 posted:

Is that actual spend more money on NATO or Trump wanting to be paid the protection money he believes he is owed?

it's actual NATO spend - the US wants each NATO country to spend 2% gdp on defense, which then contributes to NATO capabilities. Germany isn't there and kind of seems to not really want to be there, and the US is unhappy.

(whether it's reasonable for the US to be unhappy about this or not will depend on your understanding of geopolitics, and congrats, you've now given it more thought than the US president has)

# ? Mar 20, 2019 03:05

Perestroika: Apr 8, 2010

awesmoe posted:

it's actual NATO spend - the US wants each NATO country to spend 2% gdp on defense, which then contributes to NATO capabilities. Germany isn't there and kind of seems to not really want to be there, and the US is unhappy.

(whether it's reasonable for the US to be unhappy about this or not will depend on your understanding of geopolitics, and congrats, you've now given it more thought than the US president has)

It's also a matter of timing. After that goal was set, Germany devised a plan to gradually increase spending per year, with an interim goal of 1.5% in 2024. That's in part because the current government is committed to having a balanced budget with no deficit if possible, so shifting that much money around takes some time and doing. That's not fast enough for Trump, who doesn't quite understand that a country with a sane budgetary process can't/won't just dump a couple billion dollar into whatever strikes their fancy when they feel like it.

# ? Mar 20, 2019 08:09