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Clawtopsy
Dec 17, 2009

What a fascinatingly unusual cock. Now, allow me to show you my collection...

MarcusSA posted:

This seems so weird. I’d love to know what state this is in because I’ve never seen a sever do anything remotely like that.

Maybe small chit chat but I dunno. Weird.

he omitted they dined at Alex Jones' new restaurant, the Info Course.

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NO FUCK YOU DAD
Oct 23, 2008
When I was about 9 I stole one of my uncle's beers out of the fridge because drinking beer was COOL and GROWN UP. I got sick and even now as a 30 year old man I can remember the (figurative) rear end whooping and total lack of sympathy I got from my parents for being an idiot and a thief.

Housetrain your kids before you demand people childproof their homes.

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

QuarkJets posted:

St Patrick's Day is the best day to complain about immigrants

goddamned snakes get out of my country

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA For breaking up with my girlfriend for a "prank"

Prank or marking her man, you decide

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

Is it okay for a [19 m] to date a [16 f]?

I met a girl I’ve started to like, quite a lot. I’d like to ask her out.. but she’s only 16, and I’m 19. I’m an adult, she’s not. I know quite a few guys my age (18/19) dating girls (16/17). But I feel it’s frowned upon and I’ll get poo poo from people. We met through work, where like 99% of the people who work there are in the age range of 15-21, so it’s hard for situations like this to not happen. I know I could find a girl my age, but, I like this girl. Can’t really help it

tl:dr How do you feel about a 19 year old dating a 16 year old?

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Is it okay for a [19 m] to date a [16 f]?

I met a girl I’ve started to like, quite a lot. I’d like to ask her out.. but she’s only 16, and I’m 19. I’m an adult, she’s not. I know quite a few guys my age (18/19) dating girls (16/17). But I feel it’s frowned upon and I’ll get poo poo from people. We met through work, where like 99% of the people who work there are in the age range of 15-21, so it’s hard for situations like this to not happen. I know I could find a girl my age, but, I like this girl. Can’t really help it

tl:dr How do you feel about a 19 year old dating a 16 year old?

It’s frowned upon for a reason, you dumb poo poo. Please, please blow your whole goddamn life up because you have no common sense. Just nuke your stupid existence from orbit

Barudak
May 7, 2007

areyoucontagious posted:

It’s frowned upon for a reason, you dumb poo poo. Please, please blow your whole goddamn life up because you have no common sense. Just nuke your stupid existence from orbit

Please, if he gets nuked from orbit other innocent people might die. What we want is a relationship polonium umbrella

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Midnight Voyager posted:

My (23F) brother (27M) has anger issues and it's ruining my family.

We finally found Silent Hill Wiki Man

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

Doc Hawkins posted:

9 is old enough to mine coal.

Now you want to give the kid a coke problem!

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

Miserable Maid posted:

Everyone comparing the gummies to alcoholic beverages is being so dumb. The thc gummies actually taste good and sweet, with only a hint of that skunk taste (compared to other edibles, which have a more obvious taste).
Alcoholic stuff, even sweet things like wine coolers, are absolutely not appealing tasting/smelling to kids. It's like people forget their first beer/shot and how terrible it tasted, it's an aquired taste over time

Dude, are you an undercover DARE officer or something?

Get the gently caress over it.

jetz0r
May 10, 2003

Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.



Place your bets before reading the spoiler.

I [23M] found a LOT of blood on the underside of my girlfriend's [23F] mattress.

quote:

Been together a year.

Tonight I was doing some cleaning up at my girlfriends place; she works late most nights. We don't live together, but I have a key, thought I'd surprise her with a clean bedroom at the very least. Decided to change her sheets, then said gently caress it, I'd do that thing they do with rugs and beat the dust out of the mattress. Leaned it against the wall and found blood on the underside of the mattress. Link to an imgur post of pics I took. This wasn't all of it, just the larger concentration spots. The bed is a queen size.

Something to note, this is the "wrong" side of the mattress ie the side you don't normally sleep on, it's a pillow top mattress and this is the bottom of it. The top is PRISTINE clean so it isn't just a nasty mattress. This side is legitimately gross-looking I casually texted my girlfriend and asked her how old her mattress was, she told me 3 years. Asked if she bought it new, she said yeah and a winky face.

I am a pretty open-minded and relaxed guy. Not much bothers me. This bothers me. I've had girlfriends have their period in the past on my bed, these splotches don't look like period blood stains at all. Also, they're mostly on the extremities of the bed, nowhere near where any vulva-oriented parts would be. Unless she's having her period and jumping up and down on the WRONG side of the bed, this is loving crazy.

Reddit, I really have no clue how to deal with this one. My girlfriend is going to be here in a couple of hours and she doesn't seem the murdering sort, but I'm definitely going to put the bed back and pretend I didn't flip it, but uhhh what do I do? I feel a little bit afraid.

tl;dr Weird blood stains on the wrong side of my girlfriend's bed, I am confusion and concernedsion

Edit to add: A lot of people seem confused, so let me clarify.

It's absolutely blood. The lighting just sucks. (I am a vet tech and I'm certain it's blood)

You don't sleep on that side of the mattress at all. It's a pillow top.

quote:

UPDATE/EDIT: The waiting was killing me so I texted her and asked her what the stains on the other side of the mattress were about. She texted me back and told me her cat chewed off the last three vertebrae in his tail so she flipped the mattress while he was healing so she wouldn't have to worry about staining on the top. Apparently he kept ripping the scab off.

Mystery solved. Thanks for the reassurance, everyone.

FAUXTON
Jun 2, 2005

spero che tu stia bene

QuarkJets posted:

AITA for leaving a penny as tip to the restaurant server for being overly political?


Always tip your waiter but also always charge them a fee if they make you listen to their inane political ramblings when you repeatedly ask them to stop

Should have kept the penny and left "learn to code" as a tip.

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

TheScott2K posted:

Found this gem on r/Parenting:

Wife and I disagree on giving our teen daughter birth control?


“SaltyPermission” posted:

And I was raised in a religious household and I can tell you it HELPED me with my insecurities and kept me focus on more important things

I didn’t ‘explore’ my sexuality in my teens years and I’m a perfectly healthy man. More so in fact. They don’t need that at all. It just sounds like you want to get off to the idea of minors having sex

Your data is arbitrary because there is also more was of entertainment now than before hence why teens are dating less

I don’t care if it isn’t my decision as long as she lives in my house she’ll listen and respect my authority. The problem with this generation is they have no discipline because people like you want to be their friends instead of their parents

What a charmer

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

My Husband (46M) is not happy with my (43F) new found career.

This will probably be a long one, bear with me and thank you for taking the time out to read/comment

I am very lucky. I grew up relatively wealthy and married a man with a similar background. He is an amazing husband and we have a lot of love in our 20 years together. It was evident that he would be the family provider and I would be able to work or not work. I worked part time until we got pregnant then became a stay at home mom. My husband makes enough for us to live very comfortably. He loves to spoil the family with gifts and vacations and takes care of all of our bills.

Once our second went off to school i started to grow bored and restless at home. I got really into DIY and converted a spare room in the house into a craft room for myself. I worked with glass and wood mostly making creative home decor items that you would find on Pinterest or Etsy. I really enjoyed it! I go so good I was making furniture pieces with reclaimed wood in 6 months. Then I began selling my pieces to friends or at local craft shows. At this point my husband thought it was "so cute" that I had a hobby of my own. He told me whatever money i made to reinvest in materials and tools I needed or to treat myself.

Then our third went off to school and I started looking into interior design and renovation projects. I started by redoing our home kitchen making it an open concept, modern room. I dont think my husband believed I did it with minimal assistance (I only needed a plumber and my token "Strong Man"). again all fine.

Fast forward a few years, I now have a well sought after home design business. Local contractors work through me on major and minor reno projects (thank God for everyone's love for HGTV) and i also create home decor pieces that I sell when i stage homes for real estate agents. I am making good money and I work on a great schedule that allows me to see my kids everyday.

Now onto my husband.... He enjoyed my "hobby" at first but about a year in he had some confusion over how low our monthly credit card bill was. I was paying for things like clothes, hair, nails, makeup with cash instead. He initially was ok with me putting the money into a educational trust for the children and having a separate account for myself but constantly makes comments about "my big bucks". He told me he wanted to continue paying for the household expenses when I told him I would contribute. Now whenever I come home with shopping bags he rolls his eyes and make sarcastic comments. I know he hates when I spoil him but he eventually accepts it.

At a recent dinner party he joked that I should be designing homes on the Sims game and who knew how much rich people love recycled wood. He belittled me in front of friends and I never saw that side of him before. I tried to talk to him about his comfort-ability with me making my own money and he responded by saying he didn't want to see me get stressed out and that I should enjoy my life. He is a great father and always there for games,plays, recitals, etc. but now he challenges me when i need help taxing them around. (Meanwhile he used to have no problem leaving work so I can take a certain Yoga class in the next town over).

I really like having this job! I love what i do and making money on my own is pretty cool too. I never had this opportunity and I am really good at what I do.

So last night I decided to talk to him directly. I told him I knew he had issues and we needed to resolve them. He brushed me off a lot and kept saying he has no issues but doesn't understand why I am not fulfilled with just the family. He said somethings about if i love him/ am happy with him. (I AM!) He then said he can't wait for me to grow out of this stage of my life and called it arts and crafts. HE WAS SO DEMEANING! again, not used to this. I grew angry with him and he changed his tune a bit. Why don't you start a non profit? Why don't you build homes for the poor? Which honestly were not bad ideas but they're not exactly what I want to do right now. But the real kicker was when I suggested he could work fewer hours and I would be able to cover the difference. He said that was such an insult to his work and that he made a promise to me that he would be the provider. ?????

Please help. I am not looking to divorce my husband over this but help me understand why me making money is such an attack on him being a man/provider. Any advice on how to communicate this better with my husband? This is new for us both.

PS I also just purchased a romantic getaway to Napa Valley for his birthday and am afraid of his reaction )=

edit: Children are 13M, 10F, 8F

TL,DR: Provider husband unhappy that I am now making money on my own with a home reno/design job.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Have you considered taking your home renovations to the next level?

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

FAUXTON posted:

have they discovered the holy grail of edibles that somehow don't taste and smell very obviously of weed?
Jelly Belly is the real culprit for making their Harry Potter line carry "Dumbledore's Stash" and "Sticky Icky"




I started making this post as a joke, then went to look up the name of the Harry Potter Jelly Bellys which are Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, and found out the founder of Jelly Belly is still in the candy business but making CBD jellys. https://merryjane.com/news/jelly-belly-creator-joins-weed-game-with-new-cbd-candy And you know a site named Merry Jane is on the up and up about cannabis.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Sometimes it sounds really wonderful to be a kept woman. Minus the dumbass husband who is too stupid to appreciate even more money pouring in.

waah
Jun 20, 2011

Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA: My roommate left the door open on accident and cat got out and died. We want her to move out when the lease is up for renewal.

our cat vanelope

Bonus points of the roommate yelled, "I'm gonna wreck it!" just before leaving the door open.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
If the worst problem a husband has is that his wife makes too much money, he deserves real problems.

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Leon Einstein posted:

If the worst problem a husband has is that his wife makes too much money, he deserves real problems.

A divorce and family court custody battles would be a good starting place.

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

QuarkJets posted:

The aunt proved she was an idiot by not only leaving drugs out for a 9 year old to eat, but also for keeping them on a dresser in her bedroom when she lives alone (wtf why?) and then telling everyone all about how the niece ate all of her drug candy

drugs, it's loving weed

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

Somebody is threatening to sue me because of the effect my own suicide attempt had on them.

I'd like to start by saying I've been taken great care of and i'm healthy now.

Location is California.

A (former) close friend is asking for a large sum of money.

I was deeply depressed and exhibited parasuicidal behaviors which got my relatives worried. They called up my friend to urgently check on me, who called the police and visited me at my house.

I wasn't in contact with that friend at the time before he showed up, I didn't threaten to kill myself or had any other direct communication.

By the time he arrived I was calm and willingly checked myself into the hospital.

He now claims the experience was traumatic and is asking for a five figure sum citing "pain and suffering".

Is there any legal ground whatsoever for such a request?

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA: My roommate left the door open on accident and cat got out and died. We want her to move out when the lease is up for renewal.


So, this is the third time my roommate has left the door open to the house when leaving. The first time my girlfriend and I were understanding and asked her to be more considerate. The second time it happened was a week later, I didn’t tell my girlfriend about it because I knew she would be furious. So I text her and told her I was really upset with her over the issue.

All this leading up to her once again leaving the door open. This time though our cat vanelope got out on a cold night and got lost. We spent 6 days looking for her, hanging up posters and asking neighbors if they had seen her. Finally a neighbor found her and told us to come pick her up and that she was hurt pretty badly. 4 days at the emergency vets and $1600 later she passed away.

At no time did the roommate in question express any real sympathy or apologize for what she had done. We have cut her out of our lives as much as possible. It’s hard to see her and not want to scream at the top of my lungs. This all happened 3 months ago so her window to make amends has shut in my eyes. So am I a dick for wanting her to leave?

TL:DL: roommate let our cat out and she died, am I the rear end in a top hat for shunning her and wanting her to move out?

lol this is what happens when you leave your pets inside all the time and you have no exposure to the outside world.

haha loving 1600 bucks on a dead cat. stupid fuckers

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

I [20M] am into this girl [18F] from work but she's dating another guy.

So this girl from work and I have really good chemistry even though I'm a pretty quiet guy and she is really outgoing and social. I think that she brings out the best of my personality when we're together. I'm really attracted to her and I'm pretty sure she knows it. We sometimes have moments where we look into each other's eyes and I really feel something. She's always excited to see me and she says I'm her favorite when we work together (usually 2 or 3 times a week). Also she sometimes says Love you and she's done things like write on my hand saying that I love her. And now basically everyone we work with knows I'm into her.

But... The huge caveat to this situation is that she's dating a guy from high school (they're both one year out of hs) and it's kinda long distance because he goes to college a couple hours away from where we live and work. I don't know the state of their relationship and she just sometimes makes a mention of him.

I know I'm definitely not the first person in this situation. So I know there isn't really much I can do but wait it out. I'm hesitant to ask for her number or Snapchat or really do anything else.

TL;DR: I'm really into this girl and I'm pretty sure she is into me, but she's dating and I don't really want to do anything but wait it out.

Thoughts?

afroserty
Apr 22, 2010

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Somebody is threatening to sue me because of the effect my own suicide attempt had on them.


This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

afroserty posted:

This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

:capitalism:

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I [20M] am into this girl [18F] from work but she's dating another guy.

So this girl from work and I have really good chemistry even though I'm a pretty quiet guy and she is really outgoing and social. I think that she brings out the best of my personality when we're together. I'm really attracted to her and I'm pretty sure she knows it. We sometimes have moments where we look into each other's eyes and I really feel something. She's always excited to see me and she says I'm her favorite when we work together (usually 2 or 3 times a week). Also she sometimes says Love you and she's done things like write on my hand saying that I love her. And now basically everyone we work with knows I'm into her.

But... The huge caveat to this situation is that she's dating a guy from high school (they're both one year out of hs) and it's kinda long distance because he goes to college a couple hours away from where we live and work. I don't know the state of their relationship and she just sometimes makes a mention of him.

I know I'm definitely not the first person in this situation. So I know there isn't really much I can do but wait it out. I'm hesitant to ask for her number or Snapchat or really do anything else.

TL;DR: I'm really into this girl and I'm pretty sure she is into me, but she's dating and I don't really want to do anything but wait it out.

Thoughts?
Normally I'd say don't poo poo where you eat but at a place that employs teenagers, who gives a poo poo, go for it.

Tanith
Jul 17, 2005


Alpha, Beta, Gamma cores
Use them, lose them, salvage more
Kick off the next AI war
In the Persean Sector

Smirking_Serpent posted:

our cat vanelope

Still too hung up on this to care about anything else in the story.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

afroserty posted:

This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

Americans are malicious people who actively enjoy screwing over everyone around them for the slightest chance of getting ahead. Also, everyone is drowning in student loans/medical bills/credit card debt so we're always on the lookout for a good opportunity.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

afroserty posted:

This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

Five figures would literally solve most people’s lives for the foreseeable future if they handle it right.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Inside cats are the only ethical choice for people who actually care about birds and such being a thing. Also they tend to live about a decade longer.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

Americans are malicious people who actively enjoy screwing over everyone around them for the slightest chance of getting ahead. Also, everyone is drowning in student loans/medical bills/credit card debt so we're always on the lookout for a good opportunity.

Basically :capitalism: is a knife fight in a phone booth for everyone but the rich.

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA: My roommate left the door open on accident and cat got out and died. We want her to move out when the lease is up for renewal.


So, this is the third time my roommate has left the door open to the house when leaving. The first time my girlfriend and I were understanding and asked her to be more considerate. The second time it happened was a week later, I didn’t tell my girlfriend about it because I knew she would be furious. So I text her and told her I was really upset with her over the issue.

All this leading up to her once again leaving the door open. This time though our cat vanelope got out on a cold night and got lost. We spent 6 days looking for her, hanging up posters and asking neighbors if they had seen her. Finally a neighbor found her and told us to come pick her up and that she was hurt pretty badly. 4 days at the emergency vets and $1600 later she passed away.

At no time did the roommate in question express any real sympathy or apologize for what she had done. We have cut her out of our lives as much as possible. It’s hard to see her and not want to scream at the top of my lungs. This all happened 3 months ago so her window to make amends has shut in my eyes. So am I a dick for wanting her to leave?

TL:DL: roommate let our cat out and she died, am I the rear end in a top hat for shunning her and wanting her to move out?

Some rear end in a top hat cats spend all day waiting for the opportunity to run out the door. Cat Drama is just the dumbest poo poo. The cat wanted out, got out, and suffered the consequences.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
I had a cat that ripped a screen on the second story and jumped out. Fucker was gone for a out a week.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

afroserty posted:

This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

Because conspicuously large jury verdicts get publicized by news organizations after being stripped of all context that would make them actually sound reasonable, people think you can get big money for little slights. Those law suits rarely get filed and are typically thrown out if they do.

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Tanith posted:

Still too hung up on this to care about anything else in the story.

Is that pronounced like antelope or like Penelope?

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Batterypowered7 posted:

Is that pronounced like antelope or like Penelope?

More like “panel-lop” but with a V.

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


afroserty posted:

This one and the other post in this thread about suing the weed gummies manufacturers blow my loving mind. What is it in American culture where some of you demand money for perceived slights? Can anyone explain this?

We're all very entitled to life, and non-existent social services and upward mobility makes that precarious.

We're always looking for a payout because any accident or illness could be the one that gets us simultaneously fired and cut from our health insurance dooming us and our children to penury.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words

Batterypowered7 posted:

Is that pronounced like antelope or like Penelope?
It's from a children's movie, Wreck-It Ralph, where in a shocking departure from her norm Sarah Silverman plays a beautiful delicate princess who acts gross. I think it's like Penelope

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Yeah if you have roommates who have no experience with cats it can be as simple as them leaving the door open long enough to bring in groceries or something. You really, really have to stay on them and stress that the door should only be open as long as it takes to pass through it. Cats who want to get outside will learn that your roommates are idiots and pounce on any opportunity to get out. All you can do at that point is train them by giving them wet food/treats every time they come home to shorten the time they spend outside.

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Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Leon Einstein posted:

I had a cat that ripped a screen on the second story and jumped out. Fucker was gone for a out a week.

poo poo, I had a dog that did that, except instead of “was gone for a week” it was “landed on my sister”

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