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Fallom posted:if you can't appreciate me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best And that guy's worst is raping someone who is too medicated from the car crash to know what's going on.
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Mar 22, 2019 00:50
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Do you guys realize how awful and inaccurate that tattooed human face will look in 15 or 20 years? It'll be downright frightening, most likelyMushmouth posted:It's more that there's assumed generations of prostate powered DNA in any given couch, as if filth beget filth. I don't understand it at all. We're the people who cum on couches, you're the guy whose couch gets cummed on. Seems pretty simple?
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Mar 22, 2019 00:50
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CannonFodder posted:And that guy's worst is raping someone who is too medicated from the car crash to know what's going on. Yeah that is insanely hosed up. Your drugged up girlfriend asks to give you a blowjob (well, that's what HE says happened but who knows) and you just drop your pants in the middle of the hospital? And get caught by her aunt? And scare her entire family with visible boners the whole time? I mean that is some heavy poo poo. Girl needs to realize that she's been raped by her boyfriend because you can't give consent hopped up on drugs in a loving HOSPITAL
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Mar 22, 2019 00:52
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Vim Fuego posted:AITA for not telling my wife I had a second child through sperm donation after she gave me a hard time about the first donorkid? Enjoy your eventual child support!
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Mar 22, 2019 00:58
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Play posted:Do you guys realize how awful and inaccurate that wife's actual face will look in 15 or 20 years? It'll be downright frightening, most likely
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Mar 22, 2019 00:58
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The Tattoo of Dorian Gray
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Mar 22, 2019 01:02
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Vim Fuego posted:AITA for not telling my wife I had a second child through sperm donation after she gave me a hard time about the first donorkid? "I produced sperm in her bathroom by myself" is one of the creepiest sentences I've ever read in this thread, even with context.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:02
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Antivehicular posted:"I produced sperm in her bathroom by myself" is one of the creepiest sentences I've ever read in this thread, even with context. See it's funny because self insemination with a syringe has to be the second.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:04
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Play posted:We're the people who cum on couches, you're the guy whose couch gets cummed on. Seems pretty simple? But it's from Steinhaffel's. 
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Mar 22, 2019 01:04
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lmao goons don't get the idea of antique furniture
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Mar 22, 2019 01:11
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InediblePenguin posted:lmao goons don't get the idea of antique furniture Any furniture older than ~5 years has roughly a billion lost souls in it. Haunting and ghosts famously occur in old buildings. People say it's because of violent deaths or w/e, but the real cause is the cum soaked furniture, wall paper, and floors. At night, or on particular days when solar activity is cum friendly, the ethereal jizz awakens and stalks the halls looking for companionship, love, and above all, fertile ovum. In the past this was handled by the giants, like Goliath, but we killed them all and now suffer for it.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:15
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Admiral Ray posted:Any furniture older than ~5 years has roughly a billion lost souls in it. Haunting and ghosts famously occur in old buildings. People say it's because of violent deaths or w/e, but the real cause is the cum soaked furniture, wall paper, and floors. At night, or on particular days when solar activity is cum friendly, the ethereal jizz awakens and stalks the halls looking for companionship, love, and above all, fertile ovum. In the past this was handled by the giants, like Goliath, but we killed them all and now suffer for it.  holy you just fuckin solved ghosts
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Mar 22, 2019 01:21
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Life begins at eruption.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:27
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:Life begins at eruption. Life is stored in the balls
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Mar 22, 2019 01:32
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waah posted:See it's funny because self insemination with a syringe has to be the second. Is that actually a thing? Or was he saying his dick was the syringe?
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Mar 22, 2019 01:36
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Syringe != hypodermic.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:37
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She used a turkey baster, is what he was saying
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Mar 22, 2019 01:40
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The Lone Badger posted:Syringe != hypodermic. DemoneeHo posted:She used a turkey baster, is what he was saying I understand both of those things and believe neither in this situation.
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Mar 22, 2019 01:49
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 this one seems pretty normal to me. me and my homie getting together while the gfs chit chat in the other room?
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Mar 22, 2019 02:01
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Vim Fuego posted:AITA for not telling my wife I had a second child through sperm donation after she gave me a hard time about the first donorkid? I think this one is my new favorite
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Mar 22, 2019 02:04
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xtal posted:Have you heard from Chelsea Manning lately? military courts are different. are you saying most cops dont just throw their hands up when they have no confession from the first suspect they get?
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Mar 22, 2019 02:10
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a man struggling alone, his problem utterly unique in human history I'm in a happy, fulfilling relationship but I would constantly gently caress every attractive girl I meet (self.sex) submitted 13 hours ago by ConciliarPrawn1 quote:Hello there, 22M writing. My post is about finding someone who can relate to my situation - I'm not looking for relationship advice, this is r/sex.
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Mar 22, 2019 02:13
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AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? The son of one of my husband's family friends showed up to my wedding in his marines formal wear, complete with all his medals. Now, I have nothing against anyone in the military but this was a black tie optional wedding and frankly it felt very out of place and it seemed like he was just trying to show off. My wedding had over 300 guests and nobody else felt the need to wear something to make them stand out. Up until the point that I asked him to leave, he of course was acting very well mannered and like a complete gentleman, as one might expect from a member of the armed forces, and there were even a few excited teenage girls at my wedding who wanted to take a picture with him, to which he graciously agreed. Many people were thanking him for his service, and frankly it just felt like the only reason he wore that was to be in the spotlight and make it about him, which I don't think you are supposed to do at someone else's wedding. If he wants to wear that to his own wedding then fine, but the whole point of having a dress code at a wedding is so that no one guest will stand out too much. I felt that he should have known this, since the whole point of uniforms in the military is so that you don't stand out from everyone else! I felt kind of bad about asking him to leave, but it just didn't feel right for him to be there like that. AITA?
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Mar 22, 2019 02:16
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding?
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Mar 22, 2019 02:17
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? Hoo boy CheesyDog posted:a man struggling alone, his problem utterly unique in human history Get this deranged pervert off the streets, stat!
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Mar 22, 2019 02:19
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AITA for thinking my bf is sexist and wanting to break up w/him because of it? I(18F) come from a traditional family. My dad works and my mom stays home. However, they do not push this lifestyle on me and my sisters. They have stated that it’s simply what works best for them and they have always stressed the importance of hard work and self-reliance. College is a must for us, we are expected to find a job, work hard, and pay for our own poo poo. They encourage us to pursue whatever we are interested in/good at, whether that be a traditionally feminine or masculine activity. I am so glad my parents raised me to be independent and self-sufficient, even if that means I have to work hard, because I feel very prepared to take on the future. My bf also comes from a traditional family but his views are a lot different than mine. For example, when he found out that I mow lawns on the side during the summer to make some extra cash, he acted shocked and said if he were my dad, he would be ashamed of his daughter outside in the heat mowing his lawn, and if I needed extra money I should just ask him. I was offended by this because he insulted my dad and I actually like mowing lawns. I really do, I get to blast my music, be outside and get a decent work out in. And I don’t need to pay for my gas and clothes with bfs money like some spoiled bitch. I told him all this and he just doesn’t get it. He also INSISTS on paying for EVERYTHING. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate when guys pay on dates, it’s a nice gesture and I am happy to let them do that. However, I feel like you have to draw the line at some point. I am not allowed to buy anything for him or else he throws a fit, even something little like a snack after basketball practice. Instead of making me feel appreciated it makes me feel incapable. Last weekend we went rock climbing together and I showed him up big time. He was super pissed about it and kept making all of these excuses for why I was doing better than him when I hadn’t even said anything about how he, well, frankly, sucked. Later that night we were texting about our dream careers after college and he said that he would always be making more money than me, and he couldn’t date a girl with a higher salary. I called him out on his ignorance and he quickly apologized for the comment, but that whole day was just sort of the final straw with this guy. I have a feeling he just apologized to avoid an argument and he still really feels that way, and I am tired of constantly being treated like a princess. On the other hand, in his eyes he is being a man and respectful by treating me this way. I know I can be independent to a fault and idk, maybe I’m being overly sensitive to the whole thing. So, AITA for getting “triggered” and thinking he’s sexist and we should break up, or am I right to think this dude is too 50s for me?
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Mar 22, 2019 02:19
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I'm in a fulfilling relationship, but I would constantly turkey-baste my semen into the cushions of every antique couch I find on the curb (it's public property)
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Mar 22, 2019 02:20
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Pinecone Sample posted:I'm in a fulfilling relationship, but I would constantly turkey-baste my semen into the cushions of every antique couch I find on the curb (it's public property) Blasting your semen out on public property is going to run you afoul of some other conventions quote:. I know I can be independent to a fault and idk, maybe I’m being overly sensitive to the whole thing. the narrator posted:She wasn't
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Mar 22, 2019 02:22
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50s Attitude Man is giving me memories of tenth grade when somehow the teacher got us onto the subject of whether women should be virgins at marriage and there was a dude literally agreeing with her that yeah, dudes shouldn’t marry women who have been with other dudes before them
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Mar 22, 2019 02:23
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? Yeah you are an rear end in a top hat. It sounds like he is a younger dude and maybe it was the nicest thing he had to wear. I dunno he wasn’t being a dick or anything. 
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Mar 22, 2019 02:24
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? quote:acting very well mannered and like a complete gentleman, as one might expect from a member of the armed forces That just means you asked him to leave before he got wasted and tried to gently caress the cake. Good on you.
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Mar 22, 2019 02:25
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Admiral Ray posted:That just means you asked him to leave before he got wasted and tried to gently caress the cake. Good on you. Or he quote:and there were even a few excited teenage girls at my wedding who wanted to take a picture with him, to which he graciously agreed. raped someone. However, that's not why she kicked him out; quote:I felt that he should have known this, since the whole point of uniforms in the military is so that you don't stand out from everyone else! So despite the good result she is still the rear end in a top hat for having stupid reasoning
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Mar 22, 2019 02:28
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AITA for telling my mother that my future son will never be allowed at her house? My wife is 37 weeks pregnant, we are the first of our family generation to have kids so it's been a big deal and everyone is super excited. My mother doesn't have a lot of money and she has started making comments about "getting the baby's room ready". I asked her to elaborate and she says "For my GRANDSON to sleep over OF COURSE!". She lives over 2 hours away, has 2 very large dogs she cannot control, and has an....."agriculture" business in her basement that smells the entire house. I told her "Save your money because that's not going to happen". She thinks I'm joking at first but when she sees I'm serious she start freaking out. From her perspective, she has waited 30 years for a grandchild and since my sister can't have kids she fuels all of her excitement into us. She has a fear of driving so her visits to us will be limited in the first place. She is taking her excitement over the top. Her friends threw her a grandma shower for fucks sake. I told her that I will not be driving 5-10 hours per weekend so he can sleep over in a place where there are untrained massive dogs(they are sweeties but i don't want to take the chance with a 250lb st Bernard and a 150lb Newfoundland that like to jump), and an offensive smell that permeates the house. She responds saying she has thought of all that and will be taking the train, segregating the dogs, and installing a massive air purifier in the room. I still tell her no with the logic of "I don't want my child being 2.5 hours away from me, I'm not comfortable with taking a baby on a train, we are trying to avoid formula, and even with the dogs being in another room and an air purifier where he would sleep I am not comfortable with the arrangement. I told her we can visit once in a while, but not until he's a little bit older and it's unlikely we will be sleeping over(her home smells, is small and very uncomfortable). My mother cries like she has just lost a child. I call my sister and ask her for help(she lives a lot closer and has a much closer relationship), and she thinks I am being unreasonable. Apparently, my mother has already gotten the room ready and has been saving up for this huge air purifier/ozone generator thing and talked through it with my sister because she knows I'm a hard-rear end.
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Mar 22, 2019 02:29
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Here, have this very normal adult man moonlighting as a crime fighter (happened in Sweden if it matters):quote:Title: My classmate got catfished by our principal
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Mar 22, 2019 02:30
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for thinking my bf is sexist and wanting to break up w/him because of it? Haifisch fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Mar 22, 2019 |
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Mar 22, 2019 02:32
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MarcusSA posted:Yeah you are an rear end in a top hat. Service members generally don’t keep civilian formalwear so it’s probably that
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Mar 22, 2019 02:37
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my mother that my future son will never be allowed at her house? You're not an rear end in a top hat for not sending your kid over there, but you kind of are for telling her that, especially as bluntly as you told her. My kids will never, ever sleep over at my in laws' place, for a multitude of reasons, but of course we're not going to tell them that.
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Mar 22, 2019 02:45
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Vim Fuego posted:AITA for not telling my wife I had a second child through sperm donation after she gave me a hard time about the first donorkid? Oh my god. (good use of spoilers btw)
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Mar 22, 2019 02:52
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lmfao
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Mar 22, 2019 02:55
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? good, gently caress fascists - kick them out of your wedding
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Mar 22, 2019 03:06
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