/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Zzulu posted:

Autistic goon fails to understand situation

Ah I see you're new to this thread, welcome

edit: this is a great page snipe and I'm happy about it

# ? Apr 3, 2019 08:08

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 09:31

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

HazCat posted:

Considering the idiot younger brother was definitely leaning hard on that poor girl to abort (I'd bet $100 some variation of 'if you keep it, I'll leave you' was uttered at least once), I don't think taking her to get an abortion would actually be the right move (or even really a pro-choice move).

Ideal response would have been to get the girlfriend away from the idiot brother, and to try to get her to talk to an adult she trusted so everyone could be as close to certain as possible that it was a case of her choosing to abort versus feeling pressured into it.

The big gently caress up was going behind her back to her parents, which I do think makes him the rear end in a top hat. She needed someone to help her gain autonomy in the situation, and instead of doing that he took all control of it out of her hands.

Mmm yeah actually. I was assuming it wasn't coercive but nothing suggests that.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 08:11

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

With that av I hope all your posts start with mmm yeah

# ? Apr 3, 2019 08:26

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Maybe the girl knew her own parents a smidge better than the guy who thought they seemed like decent folks, and surprise surprise, she was right. It's written as though he just wanted to punish his idiot brother, and he barely seems to care that someone else ended up having to pay the price. If he really wasn't comfortable getting involved, he should not have gone out of his way to get involved in the most damaging way possible.

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 08:50 on Apr 3, 2019

# ? Apr 3, 2019 08:42

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Pranks? Pranks. Skip the background paragraph and spare yourselves.

I[28F] and our best mutual friend [23M] played a mean April Fool's prank on my BF [23M] which ended horribly...how can I can reconcile?

quote:

First of all, before some people on here start attacking me with "well you got what you deserved!" and the likes of that, I would like to express that the moment I made the prank I felt immediate regret for ignoring my conscience, going along with the prank (which was our friend's idea) and have spent the past 24 hours in agonizing shame and guilt and am not in a place emotionally to be able to also deal with the scrutiny of the internet. So I beg all of you to please be civil.

some background: They are really close friends, actually distant cousins, and the 3 of us are almost always together. My friend, we'll call him Ted, doesn't even mind being a 3rd wheel sometimes, and seems to actually enjoy it and teases us a lot. Sometimes I feel like I have 2 boyfriends when it comes to being the emotionally supportive, sensitive, nurturing female in the group. We've been together through a lot of crazy poo poo so our friendship is also really important to me. It was through this friend that I met my now boyfriend, whom I bonded with immediately after a weird accident where I ended up being his "guardian" at the hospital when he cracked his head open on the curb and needed 20 stitches in his skull...I sat there with this guy's bleeding head on my lap, coaxing him to stay calm while the nurses did their work, and to this day we joke about how he literally "fell" into my life at a time when I was NOT looking for a relationship or anything like it... and I developed an odd and somewhat cosmic connection with him. Ted and he both would often comment that what is between the two of us is far from infatuation, and beyond love. almost familial but still raw and placidly passionate. Eventually we became exclusive and have been together for 7 months. He's been with me, by my side, always helping and being supporting and awkwardly loving through a LOT of stuff that happened to me over the course of our relationship development, which maybe contributed to some of my emotional dependency on him but he has been a great partner so far and trumped all of my insecurities from past relationships with narcissistic and emotionally abusive partners, and also made considerable efforts to prove my fears wrong. He's by no means perfect, and I don't put him on a pedestal, but so far everything has been incredible. We've had only 2 big fights previously, mostly stemming from his lack of communication skills and my anxiety/insecurities blowing that moment of poor communication out of proportion. We talked it through, in person, civilized, on Valentine's Day. I hesitantly still gave him the present I had prepared as a kind of "white flag" while I admitted I was overreactive, I didn't give him the space he needed, and that it was likely rooted in an abandonment issue i was currently seeking therapy for. He forgave me, loved the gift and saw it as a sign that showed me how much I care about him and our relationship, and we formulated a system/method for future situations where I needed his communication and at least assurance that the issue that was causing him to block out was not my fault (i tend to immediately assume fault/blame on myself for everything when anyone's mood around me changes - which I must repeat I AM seeking help for and am actively working on improving.) I agreed not to accuse him of not being trustworthy and giving him some space after an initial contact and brief explanation of the situation (ie "i'm angry, some poo poo happened with my Dad" "okay, if you want to talk about it later I'm open. I'll give you space and i'll text you tomorrow." "okay, thanks.") and so far it has worked really well. I made a definite improvement in a recent situation which he praised me for beaming with happiness - by calmly and civilly suggesting a protocol for a situation where a certain misunderstanding could occur to prevent it where both of us would be happy. Thank you Non-Violent Communication skills! Anyways, things were developing well between us and literally two days ago I had one of the most happiest, romantic "chill" evenings with him, where we shared ice cream, watched netflix cartoons, and laughed and talked lot, and he was exceptionally affectionate and open with me. I think I ruined a good thing though....

So the "prank." It was the dumbest most childish prank idea ever, and it was Ted's idea. I bumped into him at Uni when my classes were ending and he pitched the idea of scaring my boyfriend with a fake pregnancy prank. At first I was like 'nah, that's stupid' but Ted assured me that my BF would be mad at first but take it in good spirit since he's always playing mean jokes on both of us, and that it would be really fun. So I said okay, took a photo of a negative pregnancy test and i marked it with the photo editor on my phone that it was "positive" and sent the picture to my bf, and convinced him in the course of a few sentences that "I think i'm pregnant," "i'm shocked and not sure what to do so lets think about it together" and "please don't be mad at me." He tried to call out the April Fool's joke, but at my friend's insistence i kept it going and he believed me. He admitted to being really nervous and asked me what we should do. My bf was at the time about to crash for a nap at Ted's place, so Ted went straight home to him after his class ended to break the news that it was a joke. They had conversed already, under the assumption that I didn't know they were talking since obviously Ted was with me behind the prank, with "bro, i'm hosed, she said she might be pregnant" "okay wait until I get home - if u don't want the baby i'll take it!" and Ted also told me not to say anything and just wait and let him tell. Granted This wait was for ONE HOUR. As soon as I sent the message I regretted it. I knew it was a terrible idea and out of poor taste and very cruel and disrespectful but it was already too late and I was already eating myself up over it while harassing Ted to hurry up since he told me to keep quiet, because i felt so bad to make my bf wait and have to sit there and ponder his whole life alone at Ted's place, obviously unable to nap. After he found out, my bf's first response to me was "okay f*** u and ted i'm done with u guys just u wait i will get my revenge!" with evil face emojis. Ted assured me that yes he was upset, but that he (my bf) laughed about it and they hung out for a little while at his place before he left.

I still felt horrible. And I texted him profuse apologies. To summarize I said all of the following: I know that it was Ted's idea but i'm still the one who did it, it was really bad and not a funny joke, I shouldn't have played with your emotions like that or made a joke out of something that should never be joked about, I shouldn't have done it in the first place but I should have at least been honest about the prank right in the beginning when you suspected it was an April Fool's joke, instead of leaving you to wait helplessly for an agonizing hour for the truth while miserably contemplating your future and life, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I know you're mad at me and your feelings are justified, etc etc...."i know u need time so i'll leave you alone. i will text you later to check if you are okay." he sends me a thumbs up sticker and an "okay. i dunno, wait for it" And truthfully I DO feel all these things. Absolute shame, regret, self-loathing. I betrayed his trust, I messed with his emotions. I am by no means claiming innocence or victim here. I really hate myself.

several hours later I attempted to re-initiate contact as i said I would, saying "i'm wondering now if you still hate me" and then things started to spiral downhill. He said "yes, I do hate you. I don't think I can trust you again. I'm going to be different with you and more careful from now on. As in no sex. We will have limits." And then the remarks later (this is all in broken up in between me trying to apologize more and express my empathy for his anger and hurt) became more negative, and then...he said "you hurt me really f***ing bad. my heart is not an item you can fix so quickly. i can't be your boyfriend after this" "so...it's over?" "yes, I'm sorry. Thank you for everything you've done for me and I wish you the best in life. If you need me I will be around to help." which threw me for a loop because honestly, i would have preferred him to be angry and aggressive to me, instead of being so...nice...and calm...I said to him, "I can't bear for us to end in this way, i care about you so much and I don't want it to be over" (over a bad prank, via texting, in such an ugly way after all we've been through...) and he said "i can't either i didn't want an end like this but i don't think i can love you like before." and that was the end of it. he didn't respond to me further and i sat there in shock.

Of course I didn't expect him to be happy or quickly forgiving for making such a stupid choice and doing something so mean, but not to the extent of suddenly breaking up with me. Over a text...we never manage our issues over the phone, we always talk about it in person. I called Ted, panicking. He was really shocked when I reported that my bf had just suddenly broken up with me. He said to me "no no this has to be him getting his revenge, just wait, he wouldn't do that..." but he called him and apparently he got a similar chewing out. But Ted, this dimwit, proceeds to fall asleep instead of telling me how his call went as he said he would do. So I freaked out more, called a million times, then went to his place and woke him up. Spent the whole night crying, throwing up from anxiety and chain smoking cigarettes, talking with Ted, trying to make sense of everything. Ted eventually coaxed me into trying to sleep, but I didn't sleep at all. I just stared at the ceiling hating every fiber of my own being, trying to imagine how must my bf be feeling at the moment, did he really mean it? is he just angry? why would he say that in a text...how could i have been so stupid!? did he feel bad to break up or is he sleeping like a happy baby now? there is no way this could be a revenge prank. I kind of hope it is. I didn't sleep and I had two tests today, one of which I absolutely failed because i could not for the life of me focus on studying for even 2 seconds all night. At one point Ted was like "if I know him, give him time and wait until tomorrow, you will see, everything will be fine." but then later he was suddenly giving me advice on how to get through a breakup, the same type of stuff I had said to him when he broke up with his fiancee of 3 years because she was naive and materialistic and only cared about having a big fancy wedding...the situations are hardly comparable. and his sudden attitude change made me wary that even he was having doubts about how well he knew his best friend.

I can't place any blame on Ted for telling me to do the prank, he didn't force me or hold me against my will... I still am the one who did it. I am the one who is more emotionally involved with my bf, and in the end i'm the one made into a Fool. I tried to contact my bf this morning and just asked him to meet me in person so we could talk. I mostly just wanted to verbalize my apology in person to him, since i'm pretty certain it's not some kind of revenge prank (since he knows me and that i would be having a heart attack, so drawing it out for an entire day like this seems almost worse) and i'm aware that i am quite deserving of this agonizing punishment. I honestly prefer to hear the words that he wants to break up with me said to my face...and we always talk when there is a problem. although ideally none of that would be better. When I asked if we could meet, He said "about?" and I explained that I wanted to apologize in person, and that trying to talk to him more over texting wasn't appropriate...and he said "okay." I asked him to tell me the time and place we'll meet and he said "okay." He didn't contact me again for 7 hours, and told me he can't meet today but let's see tomorrow. I told him that it would help me more if we could arrange a specific time, and he said "any time after 2, just come to X cafe." So I told him that I would go around 3:30 after my class finishes, thank you, and see you tomorrow. he said "you're welcome. yep, see you." So there is a little tiny flicker of hope? At least I succeeded in arranging a meeting, and I can sit and here what he has to say and how he really feels, and express my apology directly...and hope for the best....

This entire time Ted is just napping. yes i kept him up all night with my crying...but still i can't sleep because i feel like i don't deserve to, that by letting myself rest and be at ease would be an insult to my bf and make me seem like I don't care. I do care, very VERY much. and Ted didn't really seem to make any effort to try and get in contact with his friend, or relay to me anything important. I honestly wanted the both of us to sit down together and apologize in person, together, since it did involve both of us. I'm the most at fault, yes, but he is also part of this and kind of the reason i'm in this situation, since I would never in my life come up with the idea of pranking anyone on my own. I feel that it would mean more to our mutual friend if we apologized to him in person together - not to deter blame from me, but to help him understand that I was misguided, and have the support of my friend reminding him that I'm not a monster and maybe worth fighting for.

I'm a bit angry because worst case scenario and it's really over, if anything Ted will still be forgiven and they'll hang out together like always, but I will be cut out. Losing my two best friends. And we have a ton of mutual friends so everything would be super awkward because the other friends weren't aware of how serious our relationship was, but they will sense the drift between us and be confused, and it's just going to hurt me more. I can't just pretend to be fine in front of all of them...So i'm essentially losing 10 friends, and the person i love and care about most. And part of me feels like Ted doesn't really take this matter as seriously as I am and seems too nonchalant, putting in minimal effort to at least try to help me reconcile the situation, even though he is technically partially responsible...

On the tiny bright side, my bf did handle the fake pregnancy scare very well and while i didn't do it to "test" him or anything, it did show me his true character at least in regards to that kind of situation were it to hypothetically happen...

Either way, I feel like I poo poo. I know i hosed up, I know i'm responsible and a terrible person for doing what I did. But it's not something that I would have come up with on my own, and I never in the life of me would ever maliciously intend to hurt my bf even if he hurt me badly. I'm not an actual terrible person, but I did this one really terrible thing. He knows this, it's just not in my nature. I'm sensitive and emotional and also a horrible liar and hate hurting people or anything. I feel really awful and ashamed and also hurt that I was dumped by a text message from the one person who I believed wouldn't throw me away like that so easily...

TL;DR: Mutual best friend who came up with the idea and convinced me to do it together pulled an April Fool's pregnancy scare prank on my boyfriend. At first seemed like everything would eventually cool down and be okay, and I apologized profusely and felt immediately guilty and remorseful for my poor judgment, immature behavior, hurting his feelings and betrayal of his trust... but then everything spiraled downwards. Boyfriend hates me and broke up with me over text. Friend doesn't seem to phased by it and I'm the only one still panicking. Haven't eaten or slept in two days and feel nauseous from the anxiety. I really want to just MEET him and get some clarity and at least the opportunity to apologize in person, hear him out on his feelings, and maybe somehow salvage this relationship.

Everyone else out there, can you give me some advice or suggestions about how to handle this meeting tomorrow in a way that increases my chances of salvaging my relationship? Has something similar happened to you? I've written up a memo of what I want to say but keep revising it. Any support or personal anecdotes would also be appreciated...

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Age gaps, not even when gender swapped

Also so I get to beat everyone else thinking it, her mutual friend who convinced her of this is 100% gonna try and pick up a rebound

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:14

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

LadyPictureShow posted:

Pranks? Pranks. Skip the background paragraph and spare yourselves.

I[28F] and our best mutual friend [23M] played a mean April Fool's prank on my BF [23M] which ended horribly...how can I can reconcile?

I think I understand 50% of this but I definitely hate everyone in this �story�.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:17

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

OMGVBFLOL posted:

its cute when software engineers assume they know fuckall about the womanly sciences. you die of co2 toxicity in confined spaces before the O2 levels drop any meaningful amount. think Apollo 13 and the race to jerry-rig the CM co2 filters to work in the LM.

in a space that small it isn't inconceivable that the CO2 level would rise enough (with a grown man scared and shouting for an hour) to give a vague sense of unease and dread that could absolutely contribute to a panic attack

e: added emphasis to the quote; i'm making GBS threads on them, not you

Also worth mentioning that the altitude sickness effects that he's talking about are not the feeling that you get from having a lot of CO2 in the lungs (such as from holding your breath), rather they're longer-term physiological effects caused by the body suddenly breathing in air with lower-than-expected oxygen density, often because of a rapid change in elevation. These symptoms can take hours to kick in, and they don't occur just because you're in an enclosed room; the symptoms of altitude sickness are not the same as the symptoms for respiratory failure, which is what he would have experienced if was actually "running out of air" in his room with an open window lol. Basically he was definitely not feeling the effects of altitude sickness, he was just having a panic attack

Related note, the human body is very good at measuring measure %CO2 in the air but not %O2, which is why altitude sickness takes awhile to kick in. In an open air environment these are usually related quantities, because the lungs are just exchanging CO2 and O2 all the time, but in an enclosed environment that's purely some other gas (such as nitrogen) the brain doesn't notice any issues ("we're still expelling CO2 from the lungs so I guess everything's okay!"), and then you suddenly pass out from O2 deprivation.

People who believe in intelligent design just have no idea how weird and hosed up the human body is

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:26

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Somewhere in the distant past a primate didnt have the ability to synthesize vitamin c unlike every other mammal, but it was ok because fruit was everywhere so it didnt impact its life. Unfortunately for modern humans, that primate hosed

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:30

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling a 16-year-old girl�s parents that she�s pregnant?

Let me just start this by saying: My 16 year old brother is an idiot for knocking this girl up.

They both came to me a few weeks ago and confessed that his girlfriend �Jill� was pregnant. They said they were scared and they needed my help to take her to get an abortion without telling any parents.

I know this girl�s parents and as far as I knew they seemed like decent people. So are my parents.

I know why they came to me though. Because I�m the older brother, I�ve gotten them out of sticky jams before, but none like this.

At the time I said yes that I would help them but the more I thought about it the more I thought that her parents need to be involved in this. I really just don�t want to get involved in this mess. My brother wants to get off scot free while I do his dirty work.

So I reached out to her parents and asked if I could stop by after work.

A few days ago I dropped in after work and told them everything. How they both came to me and that Jill was pregnant. I said I thought they deserved to know what was going on and that they wanted me to take them to get an abortion.

They thanked me and told me that they would take care of it.

After this, my parents found out from her parents that they are forcing her to carry to term and give the baby up for adoption. They said my brother doesn�t need to be involved.

I feel like I did the right thing, but I feel bad that they are making her have the baby. I really thought I was making the right decision by getting the appropriate parents involved. My parents told me that they wish that I had come to them first and my brother refuses to speak to me.

So AITA for going to this girl�s parents and telling them their daughter was pregnant?

you put a young girl's life at risk and brought another unwanted child into the world, so of course you feel like you did... the right thing?

MarcusSA posted:

What should he have done? Let the two dumbasses figure it out? Because they clearly had no idea what the hell to do.

They knew that she needed an abortion

They knew they needed transportation in order to get to the abortion clinic

They knew that if her parents found out they'd force her to carry it to term, which they didn't want, so they asked his brother for a ride

I guess the one thing they didn't know was that the brother would betray their confidence in the most boneheaded way possible, so yeah I guess they're the dumbasses in this scenario (???)

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:49

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Genuinely* the only way the older brother can make this right is if he "kidnaps" the girlfriend, drives her to an abortion clinic and then if anyone finds out plead guilty to all charges the parents level against him.

*Im assuming that the girl wanted one as the original story indicates no coercion

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:52

Badly Jester: Apr 9, 2010; Bitches!

LadyPictureShow posted:

Pranks? Pranks. Skip the background paragraph and spare yourselves.

I[28F] and our best mutual friend [23M] played a mean April Fool's prank on my BF [23M] which ended horribly...how can I can reconcile?

Honestly, skip everything in this story unless you enjoy reading the verbose train wreck that is the musings of anxiety, neediness and guilt given a corporeal form. If it takes her this much text to say "I told my boyfriend I was pregnant for April Fool's Day and he broke up with me because he doesn't trust me anymore. He was nice about it and now I feel like poo poo.", I'm not sure the "prank" is the only reason he got out.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 09:52

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Badly Jester posted:

Honestly, skip everything in this story unless you enjoy reading the verbose train wreck that is the musings of anxiety, neediness and guilt given a corporeal form. If it takes her this much text to say "I told my boyfriend I was pregnant for April Fool's Day and he broke up with me because he doesn't trust me anymore. He was nice about it and now I feel like poo poo.", I'm not sure the "prank" is the only reason he got out.

Oh Jesus Christ thank you, there was no way I was reading through that novel.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:02

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Also her "best friend" is blas� about egging her on to do it and almost definitely trolling for that rebound nookie.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:11

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

Barudak posted:

Also so I get to beat everyone else thinking it, her mutual friend who convinced her of this is 100% gonna try and pick up a rebound

I was thinking that about 1/3 of the way through, and then I read the background paragraph. Don't skip the background paragraph.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:12

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

It's written as though he just wanted to punish his idiot brother.

His clear desire to punish his younger brother is where he loses the benefit of the doubt in regards to his motivations. Thinking it is too serious a situation to be handled without parents involvement is one thing, but his talk of not wanting his brother to get out of it scott free is the tell that he is just an rear end in a top hat. The trusted older brother role means you are meant to be helpful at least to the extent of being a confidante who isn't going to rat them out immediately. He betrays that relationship by being as unsympathetic and punitive as a (not very good) parent would be, and in the most underhanded way he could be. If nothing else he could have gone to his own parents, together with his brother. His choosing to tell the girl's parents instead of his own feels like it was designed to inflict maximum punishment on his brother. Obviously they would be less sympathetic to a boy knocking up their daughter than his own parents, wrecking his relationship even if she did still get the abortion.

He's an absolute snake, harbouring resentment of his trusting younger brother and biding his time until an opportunity arose where he could sneakily strike for maximum effect.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:16

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Barudak posted:

Also so I get to beat everyone else thinking it, her mutual friend who convinced her of this is 100% gonna try and pick up a rebound

Definitely. I'm mostly wondering if Ted was enough of a dumbass that this was the plan all along. (Which is going to get awkward when she turns him down because she, correctly, blames him for her breakup with BF, and now all three of them hate each other.)

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:21

Ignis: Mar 31, 2011; I take it you don't want my autograph, then.

more endgame asks

AITA for wanting to see Endgame opening night vs going to an award dinner/party for my wife's work?

quote:

Background: my wife works for a major radio station in the front office. They had a absolutely stellar ratings book for the last period. The CEO and chief of programming are hosting a major event for the success. It's the same night as the endgame opening.

I want to go to Endgame. I'm proud of my wife but I feel like fhis is a once in a lifetime event that will be spoiled of I don't see it opening night. Her bosses like to party so we do these events all the time (this is the biggest by far, however, and probably the one she's most directly involved in) so I feel like there will be another.

She's so passed at me that I'm not supporting her. Am I the rear end in a top hat here?

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:29

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Ignis posted:

more endgame asks

AITA for wanting to see Endgame opening night vs going to an award dinner/party for my wife's work?

And there below the words "All Events Are Once-in-A-Lifetime" was written in fresh paint, "But some are more Once-in-A-Lifetime than others"

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:33

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Opening Night is basically all weekend as far as tickets go. Cinemark's website was really making GBS threads the bed.

I'm very close to creating a Reddit account so I can call this guy human garbage.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:36

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Beachcomber posted:

I'm very close to creating a Reddit account so I can call this guy human garbage.

His wife is way ahead of you

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:38

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

In searching for that, here's something way more frustrating

"AITA for telling my wife that I get to make the financial decisions because I make more than her now"/ posted:

My wife graduated from Princeton, on the other hand I'm a community college drop out. We've been married for 6 years, together for 10. She made more than me all these years. Ergo, she made all the financial decisions. I never got much say in what she decided for us. She vetoed most of my decisions. That's fine, because her money, her choice. But she always hit me with this line-" I bring in more".

I went through many failed businesses before I found my niche in real estate and interior design. Now, I make significantly more than her. And I'm really happy that I finally achived something. We recently moved to a new place where everything is somewhat more expensive. She started telling me how we should spend now. I told her something different and she disagreed with me. I told her that since I was paying much more, and made more than her, I should get more say in how we spend the money. She got mad, started crying and called me an rear end in a top hat. AITA here?

Edit: Some people asked me and I have to admit that I would be lying if I told everyone I didn't resent her. Yes, to an extent, I resented her. I didn't even get a say in any of our vacations. That made me feel bad. Yes, I resented her because she never believed me. But I did some therapy and I learned to live with it. I know I'm kind of being petty but I think I'll do my best now.

Edit2: Posting this is like the best thing I've done IMO. I fully realised that I'm just being petty and something unhealthy. I'll do my best guys. Thank you.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:43

Weatherwax: Aug 17, 2008

Barudak posted:

His wife is way ahead of you

Uuhhh Uuhhh.... Show don't tell

Also, and keep in mind that I have small children and live in a very expensive city, so I don't really go out that often. But aren't there often multiple screenings on opening night, like could he be his wife's designated driver and then go se Endgame at 2am?
Or stop wining and just act like a grown up

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:45

Ignis: Mar 31, 2011; I take it you don't want my autograph, then.

There is a bunch more of these, but most of them are permutations of "am I the rear end in a top hat if I ditch SO/Friend/Dad and don't watch movie with them on opening day"

AITA -

quote:

This morning, with the help of my friends and available funds over $600 we bought 3 entire rows for an IMAX showing of endgame, however there's only about 5-7 of us and we now have somewhere between 20-35 seats available

We're all planning to sit together and the reason we bought this many would be so that we could have a comfort space and limit who would see the movie, last year in infinity war we were sitting together but the theatre was full and people were cheering and shouting and so this year we figured the less people the less cheering and clapping etc; our other friend is a manager and this is where it gets questionable

When the showing starts, Undoubtedly there will be some losers who will come in, see empty seats and take one for themselves, this is where our manager friend comes in as he will be sitting amongst us, as his shift ends right before our showing and he'll still be in uniform and if he sees people he will promptly escort them out of the theatre for stealing seats they didn't pay for; I guess my question is, are we the assholes for doing this?

Edit: as I mentioned below, it's almost guaranteed quiet because there's another group we know of who got the rest of the upper seats only te first three rows are available to purchase and they're the uncomfortable front row ones

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:47

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

do people really buy a bunch of extra seats so that they don't need to sit next to strangers

i guess it's fine aside from a symptom of having more money than sense, first ones with their backs against the wall etc

# ? Apr 3, 2019 10:58

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Beachcomber posted:

In searching for that, here's something way more frustrating

�Turnabout is fair play� feels like bad marriage advice

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:04

Clawtopsy: Dec 17, 2009; What a fascinatingly unusual cock. Now, allow me to show you my collection...

Moon Atari posted:

His clear desire to punish his younger brother is where he loses the benefit of the doubt in regards to his motivations. Thinking it is too serious a situation to be handled without parents involvement is one thing, but his talk of not wanting his brother to get out of it scott free is the tell that he is just an rear end in a top hat. The trusted older brother role means you are meant to be helpful at least to the extent of being a confidante who isn't going to rat them out immediately. He betrays that relationship by being as unsympathetic and punitive as a (not very good) parent would be, and in the most underhanded way he could be. If nothing else he could have gone to his own parents, together with his brother. His choosing to tell the girl's parents instead of his own feels like it was designed to inflict maximum punishment on his brother. Obviously they would be less sympathetic to a boy knocking up their daughter than his own parents, wrecking his relationship even if she did still get the abortion.

He's an absolute snake, harbouring resentment of his trusting younger brother and biding his time until an opportunity arose where he could sneakily strike for maximum effect.

Kind of? I feel like they are trying to handball responsibility to the eldest, here. By including him instead of resolving the situation without him, he's damned no matter what choice he makes.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:36

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

QuarkJets posted:

do people really buy a bunch of extra seats so that they don't need to sit next to strangers

i guess it's fine aside from a symptom of having more money than sense, first ones with their backs against the wall etc

Yeah, I don't think it's assholish to do this, just kinda stupid to spend that much money rather than wait for the DVD release and watch it with all the privacy you want.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:45

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Sunswipe posted:

Yeah, I don't think it's assholish to do this, just kinda stupid to spend that much money rather than wait for the DVD release and watch it with all the privacy you want.

There are a lot of things wrong with how hype people are about Another Marvel Movie, but somehow you found the gooniest way to object to it. �Why do people even go to movies when they could stay at home instead?�

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:54

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Khazar-khum posted:

Nothing beats having your mother walk in when you're in the middle of sex and asking if you want to go to the swap meet.

I mean you were kind of already there

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:54

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Pirate Radar posted:

There are a lot of things wrong with how hype people are about Another Marvel Movie, but somehow you found the gooniest way to object to it. �Why do people even go to movies when they could stay at home instead?�

Isn't seeing the film with a bunch of other people part of the cinema experience? I'd have thought it's far goonier to be so repulsed by the idea of being near people you don't know, and yet so compelled to see a movie, that you buy extra tickets to ensure empty seats around you. So I put it to you that in fact YOU are the gooniest goon.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:56

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Clawtopsy posted:

Kind of? I feel like they are trying to handball responsibility to the eldest, here. By including him instead of resolving the situation without him, he's damned no matter what choice he makes.

He's not damned in any eventuality, the older brother is a colossal prick and whilst I am skeptical of the desire to punish his younger sibling, he should not have told the parents and instead helped the couple to abort the baby.

LOL at using biblical language when talking about abortion

# ? Apr 3, 2019 11:59

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

[NC] My brother is becoming a radicalized white nationalist. I fear that he'll soon be a danger to himself and society.

(self.legaladvice)
submitted 9 hours ago by mybrothertheracist

quote:

Throwaway account. My (24F) brother (27M) has joined a White Nationalist/Neo-Nazi organization within the past few months, and is starting to become very actively involved. He's not going to public demonstrations since he's gainfully employed (software engineer) and has a lot to lose, but he's involved in online recruitment and developing websites and other software for them. He seems to strongly adhere to the ideology. He frequently touts racist, antisemitic, and Islamophobic viewpoints, and wild conspiracy theories about how the Jews are promoting race-mixing with whites, resulting in a "white genocide". I got lunch with him and my father last week, and he described the recent New Zealand massacre as a "celebration", and bragged that he's watched the live recording of it multiple times. He sounded joyful while speaking about it. Needless to say, my family and I are all awestruck and worried.

At the same time, he's taken a keen interest in guns. He owns several firearms, and regularly goes to the shooting range to practice. He's starting to fit the profile of these other race-driven mass shooters. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I want my brother back.

I have two questions:

If I ever feel the need to, what are the legal and labor ramifications of reporting him to the police/FBI? i.e. if I reported him to the authorities as someone to keep an eye on, would that show up on a background check and blacklist him from ever getting a good job?
What kind of help can I get him? I know that he's capable of being a normal and kind person (he used to be), but he's become deeply disturbed, and he's always been incredibly hard-headed. I doubt I'd be able to convince him to discard these beliefs myself. Is institutionalizing him a possibility if it really gets bad?
Also, if anyone has been in a similar situation and resolved it, I'd appreciate your advice.

Thank you.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:00

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

JFairfax posted:

He's not damned in any eventuality, the older brother is a colossal prick and whilst I am skeptical of the desire to punish his younger sibling, he should not have told the parents and instead helped the couple to abort the baby.

LOL at using biblical language when talking about abortion

Which part of the Bible do they play handball in?

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:01

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Pirate Radar posted:

Which part of the Bible do they play handball in?

I don't know? I was referring to the use of the word 'damned'

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:03

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

CheesyDog posted:

[NC] My brother is becoming a radicalized white nationalist. I fear that he'll soon be a danger to himself and society.

(self.legaladvice)
submitted 9 hours ago by mybrothertheracist

Kill him

quote:

(Software engineer)

Kill him twice

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:03

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

CheesyDog posted:

[NC] My brother is becoming a radicalized white nationalist. I fear that he'll soon be a danger to himself and society.

(self.legaladvice)
submitted 9 hours ago by mybrothertheracist

That really sucks for the op. Don�t know what I�d do.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:07

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

That really sucks for the op. Don�t know what I�d do.

Blade Runner posted:

Kill him

Kill him twice

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:07

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

You gotta kill your brother my dude

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:13

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 09:31

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

I guess the obvious solution to not having to put down your own brother is to pull a midnight train and switch with someone who also has a garbage sibling.

# ? Apr 3, 2019 12:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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