chemtrail huffer posted:

My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past it.

chemtrail huffer posted:

My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past it.

chemtrail huffer posted:

My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past it.

DreamingofRoses posted:

He’s known her since pre-school . She had an original post about how he accused her of cheating.

Anne Whateley posted:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to return the jeans I stole from the girl who I caught in bed with my boyfriend (ex)?

quote:

jeans OP posted:
the plot thickens, I just woke up to following text:

"hi, Alyssa. This is the weirdest text I've ever written. I'm Madison and I was the girl in Aiden's room last week. I'm so, so, so sorry, I don't know how to say it other than that. The look on your face will haunt me for the rest of my life. Please believe me when I say I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I would have never been there had I known. You have every reason not to care, but this last year has been so hard for me, my dad died of pancreatic cancer in December and I'm struggling so hard and find myself making bad choice after bad choice which I how came to be in Aiden's room. The pants you have are the ones I bought the day before my dad died, he gave me "permission" to go treat myself and it's the last time I ever heard him call me by his pet name as in "pumpkin, please don't be afraid to get you want, buy your jeans." It would mean the world to me if you returned them to me. I know you've been hurt and I feel for you and I think Aiden is pure scum, all I want from him is getting my pants back. Please find it in your heart to return them to him or contact me directly. Thank you so much, Madison."

So I guess I have to give them back...I'm in tears here.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

So Tuesday of last week I made my now ex-boyfriend dinner. He's a paleo junkie and I really wanted to impress him so I skipped class to slice fennel with a razor blade in order to garnish the strip steak I made for him. Yeah I really, really (really) loved him. I decided it would be easier to cook the steak in his kitchen so I went over to his place early (I have a code and open invite). I walked in to find half eaten Dominoes pizza on the counter (remember I sliced fennel with a razor blade because he's so "dedicated" to paleo) and noises coming from the bedroom.

SerialKilldeer posted:

Why does she specifically emphasize using a razor blade? If you're really paleo, shouldn't it be an Acheulean handaxe or something?

chemtrail huffer posted:

My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past it.

quote:

The wife's sanity is like Ghandi's aggression rating in the Civ series of games.

He originally had an aggression rating of 1 out of 255 (because ghandi was famously a pacifist). But there was something in the game that can make everyone get -2 aggression..... this pushed ghandi to -1 out of 255..... which the game "rounds down" to 254 out of 255.

Which makes ghandi a genocidal maniac in the game that tries to nuke everyone else.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Thanks, Reddit.

tactlessbastard posted:

Get a divorce, jesus

tactlessbastard posted:

And then be prepared to prove it when she starts harassing you.

Nice piece of fish posted:

Here's some legal advice, get a loving divorce and put all of that mess in front a judge. Even if it costs a ton he'd be better off not married to that rear end in a top hat. Christ, for all he know she could have done that to others or might do it again in the future, this is not a person to trust at all.


E: Not actually legal advice but jesus wept

TheMaskedUgly posted:

I do love child rape, that's definitely a reasonable response to my comment
Certainly the only value to be found in dark stories is my personal sexual gratification

e: which, to be clear, is exclusively related to the rape of young children

TheMaskedUgly posted:

I think the really depressing no-winner poo poo has a place in this thread, and I enjoy ('value') reading them.

quote:

We have wildly different personalities, and she was carried though our life while I was usually the one carrying her. Growing up, small Texas town, parents divorced, single mom that worked really long days into nights. I used to get her up in the mornings and made sure she got ready then my mom would take us. After I graduated and moved to my college town 5 hours away, my mom started giving a lot of her time to my sister. She was able to do more with my sister through her high school experience due to better financial situations, so their bond is greater than that of mine and my moms.

Alcoholism is a common theme in the men in our lives, so constantly trying to fix every situation was my job while visiting our dad and now living with my step-dad who married my mom after I graduated high school. Step-dad has brought in his two younger kids who live with their mom in OK still, and an eldest daughter (21) and her and my sister aren’t really friends at all. The only child he had any actual time with every day was my sister during her whole high school experience, and they’re inseparable. It’s great to see her have the love for him as a father, but my experience of him is also very different. I don’t accept how he chooses to drink to get drunk, and have fights with my moms friends over something as minor as political differences. She has to cover for his behavior, and I believe she deserves better.

Sister is very straight forward with her thoughts and intentions, while I am always thinking of different possibilities and opportunities. She is doing health sciences at Texas Tech (finals is tonight for their basketball team, so good luck to them!) and she’s had the same high school sweetheart and they’re great. She just hasn’t experienced a lot of life and doesn’t realize what life is like alone. I’ve always been the problem solver, that’s how my mom raised me to be. If it’s broken, fix it. Blah blah, became more independent. Once I graduated I was able to actually just focus on myself, but I didn’t know myself. I ended up taking 2 years off of college at UT Austin, being diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I worked during those years as a computer science intern, and I liked it! So I told my mom that’s what I wanted to do, and she was fine with it. (She is paying my and my sisters tuition) Currently I struggle with medications, and have been having a hard time finishing up a BA in Psychology with a Comp Sci certification as a fulfilled minor.

Well, long story short. I was more independent and never gave my mom access to college decisions and am trying to do that all on my own. My mom has access to my sisters registration for classes, so she planned all her courses for her. I also found out that my mom actually helps her on her take home tests for stuff like chem and finances. Sure they probably just learned together and had fun on the phone doing it, but she’s still getting a lot of assistance.

I’m already hard on myself for taking so long in school, but when I found out she was graduating Spring 2020, and I’m supposed to be graduating Fall 2020, I broke a little inside. She’s graduating a year early, and has a 3.75 GPA, and I’m so proud and happy for her. She’s becoming such an amazing person, but I can’t help but be upset with myself for taking so long.

TL;DR: younger sister is graduating a year early and subsequently before me. I was already hard on myself for taking so long at school and taking two years off to treat my depression, but now I can’t help but be even further disappointed in myself.

Edit: Thank y’all for all the kind words and support! I’m happy I have somewhere to go when I am feeling low, and can remind myself that what I am doing is right for me. That’s all that matters! Everyone else is too focused on themselves to care, so why should I? To the meaner comments, in hindsight you’re right! I’m a little envious of her because she is amazing, but now I realize that I should be looking at my own strengths that make me equally as great. I’m excited for my future, and I’m excited for hers!

chemtrail huffer posted:

I recently found out my ex-fiancé [28 M] of 5 years is terminally ill. Is it inappropriate for me [28 F] to go see him?

Pinecone Sample posted:

I'm sure that divorce would be amicable.

Power Khan posted:

Alyssa paid the iron price. Never return it, sweet viking princess.

quote:

He's really into anime culture and stuff like that so I suppose that's why. It came to me as a bit of a surprise since he doesn't seem like the kind of nerd at all, like he's pretty attractive and fit. But I guess stereotypes don't always need to apply.

Anyway, he told me he'd enjoy if I acted more like an anime girl or a Japanese girl and gave me a sheet with Japanese phrases that I should learn and implement when we were together along with what they meant.

Stuff like "Kimochi", that feels good, or ochinchin, or yamero while pretending to struggle. He also talked about wanting yo buy me a Japanese middle school sailor uniform and that I'd look super hot in it.

Admittedly it's a bit weird to me though because I'm not Japanese at all, I'm white, not even half Asian or anything and it makes me wonder whether he would rather be with a Japanese girl and I'm just the alternative for him because he (currently) can't find one.

Am I worried for nothing or are my concerns legit?

tl;dr: Boyfriend wants me to use Japanese phrases in bed and dress me up as a middleschool anime girl even though I'm white.

quote:

My partner [30m] and I [25f] have been together for two years. We have a great relationship in all but two ways:

(TL;DR at the bottom)

Our attitudes towards politics are very different, though he says he has the same beliefs as I do. I believe people and organisations should be considerate of and cater to the less fortunate, or those who struggle. He believes on principle that sometimes things are 'just too bad', and people and organisations shouldn't have to alter their approach to make room. He doesn't seem to believe in compromise. I don't really want to get into this debate on here; as someone with mental health issues and some trauma from my past this is something that really means a lot to me, but since we never agree, I've said I'd rather we just didn't talk about these things if we notice we're gonna be at an impasse, for the sake of the relationship. But no matter how many times I've said "Let's not talk about stuff we know is gonna lead to an argument", he keeps keeps keeps provoking me, sending me or reading out articles that support his view with this smug tone and smirk that really riles me. The other thing is that, while I care a lot about these issues, I'm a terrible debater. I get flustered and my arguments just drop out of my skull as soon as someone comes at me. I also have huge amounts of anxiety surrounding my sense of self-worth; if someone acts in such a way that they seem to be doubting, say, my intelligence, I struggle not to perceive it as an attack and I get overly defensive and emotional, because my own sense of self-worth was a hard-won battle and my worst fear is letting someone get in my head and cause me to regress. I'm pursuing help for this and I'm on meds, but they only do so much, and it's a long waiting list.
We haven't had sex in months now, and before that it was once a month at most for quite a long time. I should say that the problem here is me: I find sex VERY uncomfortable. Either we have to stop because I'm in too much pain or he's worried about instigating in the first place because he doesn't want to hurt me. And I don't instigate any more, because I literally have no interest in sex anymore. My instinct is to actively avoid it at all costs, because it hurts. Smaller men haven't been so painful, but my partner is quite large, and I think my aversion to sex means I don't get aroused in the first place, which makes it more painful. We've tried lube, lots of different types, but it doesn't seem to work, and just irritates me more than anything. I've also tried various methods to relax; so far, the only thing that makes things better is smoking weed, but even that is hit and miss -- sometimes it makes it worse, and I'm trying to cut down for other reasons (and he doesn't like the idea that we can only have sex if I'm high anyway). I've been to the doctors about this and they've run tests, but I'm perfectly healthy (so is he). They think I'm involuntarily clenching up. I *had something really bad happen to me against my will* a few years back, so maybe that's why? I want to want sex, and I know he would like to have sex, although he seems to have given up on it ever happening again now.
We clashed again last night. Another political thing to do with the industry we both work in. I felt provoked so I told him that I was sick of debating him constantly, and reminded him that I'd been saying so for over a year and that he was still doing it, and then I went to bed. I thought that he would join me anyway, because he usually does; if I'm upset, I'm usually the one who tells him I want to be alone, but he usually stays anyway and we eventually talk it through. But this time, he never did. He went and slept upstairs. And then this morning, I heard him leave for work; he didn't approach. Maybe I should have approached him first, and I know this is childish, but knowing him I thought he would see that as me giving ground, and I don't want to do that considering I care a lot about my beliefs and I really don't like his attitudes to them. A part of my head is saying that maybe he's actually thinking about breaking up with me now. Just days ago he was saying how strong he thought we were, and he tells me he loves me all the time. But I'm also moving away for a massive step up in my career in a month, the plan being that he comes to join me in a few months once I know I want to stay and he's finished up his projects where he currently works (he feels it'll be time to move on there and housing is cheaper where I'm moving). To be clear, I've thought a lot about the potential that we're just a bad fit, and about a year ago I voiced this to him, but he was adamant that wasn't the case and this stuff didn't mean poo poo. I used to scare easy with relationships, running at the first sign of trouble, but I really want to fight for this and try to make it work. I'm considering couples counselling and sex therapy, but we won't be in the same place to do it for quite a while. I'm also slightly concerned because his boss/good friend broke up with his partner of eight years just a few weeks ago on the grounds that it was getting real, to the point where they either got married or broke up, and he got cold feet that they were right for each other. I'm worried that's maybe getting to my partner's head.

TL;DR: I don't like debating but he keeps provoking debates, and we don't have sex anymore because I find it painful. I'm moving away, so we're gonna be relatively long distance (only about 2 hours) until he joins me, and I'm starting to worry that he's considering breaking up because perhaps it's too much trouble, despite his recent assertions that we're strong and that he loves me.

How can I save this?

(Only productive answers please; I don't want to consider breaking up options right now)

Straight White Shark posted:

My [22F] boyfriend [25M] of three months wants me to speak Japanese to him in bed even though I'm white

Dienes posted:

Text back "Maybe your dad died to get away from his embarrassment of a slutty daughter." and block the number.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Nah dude, invoking somebody's dead parent just to try and craft a sick burn would just make them a huge rear end in a top hat.

therobit posted:

Uh, I kinda think if something is too horrible to post in spoilers because it's all about rape of children then maybe it doesn't need to be posted at all in this thread about making fun of morons on reddit. Maybe make a separate thread to discuss that poo poo, or evaluate if there is any productive discussion to be had at all.

Nice piece of fish posted:

Christ, for all he know she could have done that to others or might do it again in the future, this is not a person to trust at all.

TheMaskedUgly posted:

I figured the parenthesis made it clear that 'enjoy' was an explicitly poor choice of word; and that 'value' was a more useful word.

I'll make a comparison;
As a motorcyclist, I don't enjoy watching videos of motorcyclists crashing.
I derive no pleasure from it; in fact I find it quite uncomfortable.
Despite this fact, I routinely watch the 3 hour motorcycle crash compilations put out by [someone], and they range from the 'bad' to the 'gruesome'.
I value watching videos of motorcyclists crashing for it's instructive power, and its emotional resonance, and to confront the morbid reality of my choice of transport.
Maybe I'm hosed up, but I'm a better motorcyclist for it, in my opinion.

Similarly, I value those now quarantined sub-reddits such as /r/watchpeopledie, not because I enjoy watching gruesome death (and the qualia is certainly not enjoyable), but because I value confronting the morbid reality of death, and I feel we (or at least I) are problematically inured to death and real suffering.

I acknowledge this mentality is uncommon.

I feel similarly about the story that was problematic for you.

e: look the masturbation is a coincidence ok why are you all so hung up on that? i dont even finish most of the time

chemtrail huffer posted:

My (36m) wife (33f) was sued, I'm feeling resentment towards her and I don't know how to move past it.

Blade Runner posted:

There's no productive discussion to be had about any of this it's all just dumb bullshit who loving cares

quote:

Title basically sums it up but I might as well elaborate.

Me (28M) and my sister (28F) are twins and were up until a couple of years ago very close. In high school I was the kid that everyone bullied - and one guy in particular was the worst of all. He did more than anyone else to make my primary and highschool years (we went to school together from 5 years old until 18) a living hell.

In addition to the daily taunting he intentionally caused me to break my arm (pushed me into the concrete while we were playing rugby on the adjacent grass) and gave me multiple black eyes - one of which caused a retinal detatchment which required a scleral buckle to fix.

Needless to say I hate him and everything to do with him.

My sister started dating him a couple of years ago, and during this time I've made it no secret how much I resent him. He has never even apologised for how he treated me. Despite this, my sister has gone ahead with this relationship and at the cost of whatever our relationship meant to her.

They recently announced their engagement and my sister sent me a letter saying she hopes I will "get over my grudge" and attend her wedding. I replied by writing a very lengthy email that can basically be summed up as:

Life is short and I don't want to spend it in the presence of people that made my youth a living hell. By getting engaged to [name] you've made it clear that is impossible unless I cut you out of my life. Please do not contact me, my wife, or our children again. You are no longer welcome in our home.

Parents were quick to swing by our house and reprimand me for being so harsh/childish. Dad specifically used the phrase "f*cking arse". Hence why I figured I'd ask here, am I the rear end in a top hat here?

Have skipped over a lot of details about the extent of the bullying due to the 3,000 character limit.

Edit: I should clarify, my dad thinks I'm being an arse for making what "should be the happiest time of my sister's life" into being about me, and for making my sister have doubts about getting married etc.

Edit2: Can't believe I forgot this, but the other reason they said I was being childish is that my sister has a right to see her nieces/nephews.

Barudak posted:

Says you, I've been feeding goon responses into an AI to teach it how to offer relationship advice. Sure, right now it mostly just keeps trying to acquire transportation and firearms in an effort to kill everyone in its database, but I feel confident with just a few more stories I can convince it to just kill the men.

ad090 posted:

AITA for cutting my sister out of my life for getting engaged to my worst highschool bully?

ad090 posted:

AITA for cutting my sister out of my life for getting engaged to my worst highschool bully?

quote:

My right pupil hasn't functioned properly since the surgery, it's always semi-dilated now. Really drives me nuts and makes it difficult to read when it's sunny/screen is bright.