/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Play posted:

This chick needs to realize which side her bread is buttered on and how the world works. University was the loving easy part, but she thinks she needs to "recharge" by spending thousands of dollars to go to some beach resort lmao.

I was lmaoing at the idea of needing a break, too. A break from school? The thing you do 8 months out of the year?

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:29

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 20:00

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

waah posted:

Does my reading comprehension suck, or does it not say why the gently caress that dude's wife was so mad at the other woman?

It doesn't, but it also doesn't matter in the slightest. The wife is crazy in an absurdly dangerous way.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:30

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

The fact pornshop girl dumped him on the spot, rather then just having a big fight, shows either he was a total rear end in a top hat about it, or she's been feeling like cutting him loose for a while. The fact they never even thought about moving in together after 3 years makes me think it's the latter

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:31

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Play posted:

You're not allowed to tell people how they should grieve or how they should behave after a loved one dies. Nothing here is that bad. Hell it seems likely that his wife encouraged him to move on quickly so that the kids could have a mom. Mind your own loving business OP and don't push your standards on other people without good cause.

I think not knowing the details of the illness and his relationship with his dying wife it's totally inappropriate to criticize. Everyone deals with this kind of thing in their own way and it's really rude, imo, to tell someone how they need to act after their wife of ten years dies.

This chick needs to realize which side her bread is buttered on and how the world works. University was the loving easy part, but she thinks she needs to "recharge" by spending thousands of dollars to go to some beach resort lmao.

For some time I was supporting myself and my girlfriend while she was looking for a job. Money was tight because my job wasn't the greatest at that time either. If she had suggested going on vacation, much less WITHOUT ME . . . yeah no. That would not fly one bit, to say the least. We're still together now, but we might not be if she was anything like this girl

Play why you always coming into the thread to reply to poo poo from pages or even days ago and post steaming piles of hot takes?

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:32

bus hustler: Mar 14, 2019; Ha Ha Ha... YES!

Vim Fuego posted:

It doesn't, but it also doesn't matter in the slightest. The wife is crazy in an absurdly dangerous way.

omg of course it matters [to us], you know it's something really stupid and not a situation where you're like, "well that was super inappropriate, but I can at least understand why she was so upset"

It's going to be like "she made her dying sister the maid of honor at her wedding instead of my wife"

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:32

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I'm trying to imagine maintaining the level of rage and focus required to enact that ridiculous scheme.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:36

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

therobit posted:

Play why you always coming into the thread to reply to poo poo from pages or even days ago and post steaming piles of hot takes?

I read through the thread while I'm at work, collect the hot takes, and then serve them up for your consumption once the post is long enough. I'm still actually stranded back at page 4369, I bring you tidings from the past!!

Nothing I wrote there was super hot though. Pretty reasonable takes all things considered.

Play fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Apr 9, 2019

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:37

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

there is exactly zero possibility it's not some incredibly petty slight that exists mainly in the wife's head, idg how people are worrying about how she's gonna react to a divorce when she's clearly set to Cask of Amontillado the OP the next time he forgets her sister's birthday

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Apr 9, 2019

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:37

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

charity rereg posted:

omg of course it matters [to us], you know it's something really stupid and not a situation where you're like, "well that was super inappropriate, but I can at least understand why she was so upset"

It's going to be like "she made her dying sister the maid of honor at her wedding instead of my wife"

The friend probably just dumped her because she got tired of dealing with a crazy person. She knew the wife was the one behind everything the instant she saw her at her baby shower, so she definitely already knew she was a real psycho.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:40

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

tactlessbastard posted:

I was lmaoing at the idea of needing a break, too. A break from school? The thing you do 8 months out of the year?

I remember feeling that way when I got out of school.

Then I learned the hard way that you will never have more free time in your life than being a full time student and that dude's girlfriend is in for a rude awakening

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:43

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Miserable Maid posted:

The fact pornshop girl dumped him on the spot, rather then just having a big fight, shows either he was a total rear end in a top hat about it, or she's been feeling like cutting him loose for a while. The fact they never even thought about moving in together after 3 years makes me think it's the latter

I bet she makes a shitload more money than he does, too.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:47

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Renegret posted:

I remember feeling that way when I got out of school.

Then I learned the hard way that you will never have more free time in your life than being a full time student and that dude's girlfriend is in for a rude awakening

I felt like work was a huge relief after college. In college I was studying all the god drat time. I'd get out of work at 4 and the rest of the day was 100% mine.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:49

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

TheScott2K posted:

I felt like work was a huge relief after college. In college I was studying all the god drat time. I'd get out of work at 4 and the rest of the day was 100% mine.

I study more for work than I did in college, ironically.

I was also a terrible student.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:53

Tanith: Jul 17, 2005; _{Alpha, Beta, Gamma cores

Use them, lose them, salvage more

Kick off the next AI war

In the Persean Sector}

And now for something lighter...than air

AITA for refusing my mom and her husband to include their hot air balloons (like the kind people ride in, up in the air) in my wedding ceremony this summer?

quote:

I don't even know where to begin with this...it's so crazy and I'm taking so much drama a real part of me (and my fiancé) says "Just let them do what they want to do, it will be easier).

So here's the situation, I'm getting married in June in a very small, initimate ceremony in the Napa valley area. I want it small, quaint and fun...that's it.

After many, many years of random dudes and drama my mom got married about 9 months ago to an actually decent guy from New Mexico who is into hot air ballooning. Cool, he has his thing, but he's a little "militant" about it in that it's his entire identity and all he ever wants to talk and brag about.

My mom has this crash idea that she and this dude are going truck the balloons up from New Mexico and when the officiant pronunces "man and wife" her husband and another pilot are going to launch thier balloons in the field behind the venue and they will be tied together with a "just married" banner. It sounds so tacky I can hardly stand it. And her husband wants of talk to me every day about cueing, how long they will inflate, maybe moving the wedding start so wind will be better and on and on. It's taken a wedding planning stress turn I didn't want to have.

I hinted to my mom I just didn't want this and now she's on my rear end about being ungrateful, risking her future with her finally nice man husband and on and on. I want her to be happy (and out of my hair frankly) so I'm so tempted just to acquiesce and let the baloon thing go on.

Am I the rear end in a top hat if I refuse?

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:54

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

this one is absurdly long, and there's not a big reveal or twist at the end. but, if you want to taste a heady stew of burning hatred and incredible bafflement, you might "like" it. every single action taken by every person in this is completely incomprehensible and wrongheaded. online DnD drama!

I [32] M am being "forced out" of my core friend group by a [29] F.

quote:

I feel really emasculated that I'm even letting this get to me, but I'm hoping you all can offer me some perspective, and hopefully a path forward.

TL;DR A woman who joined my friend group appears to be trying to force me out, but none of my friends believe me.

I have a group of 5 core friends that I mostly communicate with online, but know in real life. We live all over the US and some in Canada. These are people I've known anywhere from 15 years to 2 years and are 90% from the ages of 28-32. One friend, Al, lives with me and my wife/kids, but everyone else is at least a state away.

Al maintains a chat server that we all use, and there are some random people he's met over time who use the server but don't really interact with the rest of us. About two years ago, a woman, Hae (29, F) from one of the other groups started hanging out with us instead, when she broke up with her boyfriend who was in the other group.

She's bright, bubbly, nurturing to a fault, and has this whole personality built around how naive and demure she is. She had a pretty sheltered childhood with strict parents. She is the type of person who will remember a person's birthday after meeting them twice and you'll get some sort of (legitimately nice) hand-made gift showing how she values your friendship. She's a hardcore gamer and makes herself invaluable as a team mate. It's a common occurrence for her to make it very clear that she didn't get a crass joke, or sexual term, often to the point of being ridiculous. "Rimjob? Is that like cleaning your car rims? Tee-hee!" And the group would laugh and comment on how silly it was that she was so sheltered from carnal knowledge. I am 99% of the time the guy who tells her what a thing is in a friendly way while everyone else continues to poke at her. Whenever something is bothering Hae, she makes sure everyone knows it, but is evasive about what's bothering her. She sighs heavily, talks to herself, excuses herself for long periods of time with a dramatic flair.

Everyone but me is involved in no fewer than 3 Dungeons and Dragons campaigns together. I am in one of them-- not a big D&D fan myself.

I am a big believer that people's first few D&D characters that are reflections of who they want to be, and how they want people to see then. Hae always plays Mary Sue characters of Elven heritage with riffs on Tolkien naming conventions. They're always good characters, mostly lawful good. They are this bizarre extension of her real-life personality to an extreme and she really gets into the interpersonal stuff between characters. Nothing wrong with any of this btw-- just giving more context. She also DMs her own game completely homebrew setting and she even draws really impressive maps. There are no evil characters allowed in her game.

So, one of the other core group recruited me for a D&D game with the rest. It was only my second D&D campaign and after I got super bored in the first one with the nitty-gritty mechanical stuff. I decided it would be more fun if I focused on roleplay and taking responsibility for my own fun. I decide I am going to make an evil character and do evil stuff. I mention early on to Al that I'm excited and a bit nervous for Hae's reaction to my character because she tends to flinch at crass humor and I planned on making my character a pure evil slave trader. We agreed that it would make for some interesting situations because of Hae, but I genuinely was doing it because I thought it would be fun for everyone. Once we get into the game I chicken out and make him more of a rakish ne'er-do-well (Klaus from Umbrella Academy felt like someone was listening to our campaign). He never does anything to the party that would create real-life tension like trying to hurt someone's character, or ruin their fun. I will make things awkward for laughs, though, like pretending to think another player is hitting on my character, etc.

One of the least consistent members of the group, Macon, started getting online A LOT, and was spending time alone with Hae, even when everyone else was all together. They are watching really niche shows together, sharing super niche music until 3 in the morning. This dude who got online once every two weeks was on every single night. We assumed they are into each other. Turns out it was one-sided. He told her he likes her, she told him no thanks. He stopped getting online again. This was about 6 months into her joining the group.

Al and I are the ones who generally chart the course for the group. We make plans, encourage people to play whatever new game, buy it for people if we need to, that sort of thing. Al and I had a talk about the situation with Macon and Hae. Hae was still new to the group and we were concerned she may have led him on. Macon is an extremely shy and private guy, and Hae had only briefly mentioned what happened, so we didn't have a lot of context to make any fair assumptions, though. So, we gave her the benefit of the doubt, but in case we were wrong, we figured our friend Felix would be the next target. We agreed that if the same thing happened with Felix that it would be a big deal, and we'd probably work to cut ties with Hae.

I noticed over the course of time that Hae doesn't seem to like spending time alone with me. If I'm on the chat alone waiting for people to get on, she'll log on, but go to a different room by herself. We have a facebook chat with the whole group in there for memes and general stuff. I would ask direct questions of the group and after a while, she stopped responding to anything I posted or asked, even if it was directed at her specifically.

I started getting paranoid when I would be playing a game with people, and she would come into the chat and ask if people want to play X game that everyone knows I hate. Even though I was technically invited, I now believe she was intentionally trying to get everyone else away from me. Hae used to be the person who would make sure no one was left out and would guilt people into playing a game big enough for everybody. Suddenly, where I never had trouble finding a few friends to play a game with, everyone is always busy, with her as the common component. The games I don't like seem to be getting played more and more, as well, with her handing out the invites. I brought up my concerns with Al, whose opinion I trust and respect, and he says it's all in my head and I can tell he was a bit concerned that I even found myself arriving at these conclusions. He said it was all coincidence and sometimes people just like playing different stuff. I decided he was right, and I was being silly, but I just kept feeling in my gut like something wasn't right.

Al and I started making a trip to Boston for PAX East 4 years ago with a couple other people outside of the core group. Two years ago the rest of the core group joined in. Then a bunch more joined in this year, for a total of 13 people.

Last year we added 4 people at the last second, but couldn't get a bigger space, or additional hotel room in time. There was some debate about who would get a bed because some people were tripping over themselves to be chivalrous and insist Hae get a bed. Felix, who is one of the most affable, but unsubtle people ever, declared that since it wouldn't be an option for anyone to share a bed with Hae, she should sleep on the sofa, while 4 dudes paired up on the two beds each night, alternating who slept on the floor. Hae would always get the couch. Hae got very pouty and eventually said she just didn't appreciate being told she was going to sleep on the couch without any say in it.

Hae also declared herself the mother of the group and organized all in-room activities, bringing a dozen board games and snacks and a first-aid kit. She also controlled the music, playing exclusively K-pop songs. I was the only one that tried to play something other than K-pop, and she pretty quickly announced her music was better and turned the K-pop back on.

Over the next year Felix and Hae started to behave a lot like Macon and Hae had previously. Time alone when everyone else is together, staying up late watching the same niche shows and movies and always making sure any activity included both of them. Things seemed to be pretty overtly romantic between Hae and Felix, so Al and I weren't concerned.

I got frustrated with feeling excluded and feeling a bit gaslighted, so I stopped getting online with the intent of doing anything with the group and just waited for Al to tell me in person if they were doing something, since we live together.

Al and I buy almost everything new worth playing, so I would still get on to play whatever new thing with him and whoever else we could convince to join us. Hae would buy the games within a few days of release, but when we'd invite her to play she'd always find weird excuses to convince people to play other stuff with her. Once I got tired of the game, she'd suddenly be super into it and start filling up parties again. The first time I was disappointed that circumstances didn't let me play with her, but by the fourth time (Monster Hunter, Apex Legends, Anthem, Division 2), my gut was screaming that this was intentional. Eventually, I was only playing games with Al and, frankly, I was really desperate to have that social interaction since I'd lost the experience of playing with the core group. Hae then started coming into the chat with me and Al and trying to pull him away to fill the last spot in another game.

The only time I really interact with the group now is on Saturday nights for my single D&D campaign I'm in. One night, my character makes a perverted comment to Hae in order to tip her off about something. It served a purpose, but was also supposed to get a laugh. Afterwards she gets really quiet and is roleplaying how her character is off by herself until people ask her what's wrong. I admit that I was annoyed at how big of a deal she made out of it, and I didn't want to give her the time of day, so before anyone could comfort her I (jokingly) made a big deal Felix's character making her uncomfortable and everyone but her got a kick out of it. She didn't talk the rest of the night.

Finally, we get to PAX 2019 (2 weeks ago). We all went to Boston for a week and Hae tried to pre-emptively take control of the trip by setting up an itinerary for all 13 of us. I made it clear that I don't want to be running from one event to the next all week and would be fine with plans day-to-day, or a bucket list, but not hour to hour plans.

Al basically finances this trip up front and everyone pays him back-- he's out of pocket about $6k because he pays for ubers and buys meals on occasion, but he often refuses to be paid back.

Al's birthday will be during this trip and I ask if anyone wants to do anything special and surprise him since the trip wouldn't be possible for some folks without his generosity. I got no response after several attempts and give it up. I buy him a game and planned to take him out to dinner on the trip.

We got to the house we are renting for the week and are told that my wife and I are the first couple there, so we get first pick of room by Al and everyone agrees that is fair.

My wife and I picked our room, and 10 minutes later another couple arrived. In front of everyone, Hae says my wife and I would be happier in a different room and directs the other couple to take ours. I was seething, but I knew I would make a scene if I opened my mouth, so I just grabbed our stuff and moved rooms. The other couple quietly apologized to me away from everyone else and I told them it wasn't their fault at all.

My wife doesn't get much sleep because of her overnight work schedule and our kids. This was made worse by her going straight from work to the airport for the trip. The first day we walked to a restaurant to get food nearby and the group suggested walking a few miles to find something to do. My wife was dead on her feet and I politely asked that we not do anything too walking intensive because she hadn't slept in over 30 hours. Hae announced she hadn't slept in even longer and proceeded to power walk at the front of the group until we got back to the house.

The next morning I announced my wife and I were going to a movie and asked if anyone would like to go. C said she had planned for us all to play boardgames. I advised we were going to a movie because we didn't feel like sitting in the house all day and she glared at me until one person joined us.

I only get a chance to drink once every year or two, and when I do, I get super silly and playful. I don't get sick, I don't make messes, but I will be loud and dance and play with people. The second night we were there, Felix and I drank a bunch and we had a good time.

The next night, Hae told Al privately not to let Felix drink. Then she told Felix privately not to let me drink. When I went to pour a drink Felix stopped me and revealed that Hae asked him to keep me from drinking. I got very angry and knew I needed to chill before I exploded and ruined everyone's trip, so I pouted on the couch. Felix felt bad and after talking with my wife, he and I eventually said "gently caress it." and drank anyway.

Felix told me that he decided it wasn't cool that Hae tried to control my behavior that way. I did not tell him that Al was in charge of keeping him from drinking because I wasn't trying to instigate anything and wanted to just relax and enjoy my vacation.

The next night, Hae started dominating Felix and Macon's time, making plans way ahead of time before anyone else could. These plans normally involved the three of them, by themselves, in a different part of the house.

On Al's birthday, Hae made a big deal about her being the one to ask Al what he wanted to do and giving him options. Al didn't really respond, so we planned a meal at a specific time at a specific place. An hour before dinner, Hae announced that she, Felix and Macon going to just share an appetizer at this restaurant that seats 15 people tops and is run by a small immigrant family. Another couple revealed they got hungry and ate already and wouldn't be eating at all. I said that wasn't fair to the restaurant and we needed to change our plans then. Everyone splintered as to what they were doing and I told the group my wife and I were sticking with the original plan and anyone who wanted could come. No one did, and the rest of the group went to a bar nearby and shot pool. Hae snuck over to a cake shop nearby and bought Al a cake and surprised him with it when we all got back. I realized later that in my frustration, my wife and I excluded ourselves from Al's birthday to go eat dinner by ourselves. This became relevant later.

The last night, Hae and Macon closed themselves off in a room for hours and everyone said they were talking about Macon's crush. Al told me privately that something happened between Felix and Hae on the trip as well, and she rejected him.

I told Al that I felt C was doing this was exactly what he and I worried would happen and it seemed we were wrong about her. He disagreed and said Hae was innocent and naive and just didn't know better than to be careful with spending too much time alone with lonely guys.

I told him about everything that had been bothering me and he said I was reading way too much into things, and trying to find a reason to be persecuted in coincidences. He then said that even if she were pissed off, I had admitted to going out of my way to make her uncomfortable with an evil D&D character and that I should have known she was too sensitive to handle it. The conversation occurred at 3AM and we were both exhausted from the trip and he was frustrated about the birthday thing, he admitted later. So, I said we'd just talk when we got home under better temperaments.

Over the course of the next few days, I spoke at length with Felix and he agreed that it was probably not in my head and that Hae and I seemed openly hostile to each other from his point of view. However, he agreed with Al that most of what I interpreted as slights from her were probably in my head and that he mostly just noticed her not talking to me, or trying to avoid playing games with me. He is normally a pretty private guy, but opened up to me and was really confused about whether he and Hae had been talking romantically or not. He took several different positions, ultimately deciding that she had tried to tell him that she wasn't interested a long time ago and that he willfully ignored her. Al told me later that Hae revealed to him that she was interested in Felix, but his drinking concerned her, so she decided to end things. This bothered me because one of the positions Felix took originally was that it seemed like they were both really into each other at first, but then somewhere along the way she started acting really cold towards him until they talked and she denied being into him at all. Felix ultimately decided he fabricated that there was ever romance and felt like he owed Hae an apology and was really tearing himself apart about it. Felix ended the conversation making sure I knew that he thought Hae was a great person and he couldn't imagine her doing anything malicious to anyone.

I had a final chat with Al where I said I was more convinced than ever that Hae has a thing for controlling people and was being manipulative. I said that there were two separate issues: She appeared to be leading people on, exactly like he and I agreed might be an issue, and separately, she seemed to have a bone to pick with me and was trying to drive me out of the group.

Al agreed that I have a better nose for that type of behavior and that he can be aloof to it in his efforts to keep everyone happy. However, his final stance was that Hae and I were both responsible for pissing each other off. He said that I had instigating the conflict by making her uncomfortable with crass humor and that she was far too sensitive, and she responded by being passive-aggressive in some ways, though he still doubts it is as calculated as I believe.

I made myself uncharacteristically clear that I would not apologize for making some silly dick jokes around a 29 year old woman and that the ball was in her court to make this right. I told him that no one would hear anything else from me about it, that I was willing to consider that I am just being paranoid and that I'm the rear end in a top hat here. He said he understood and wished that she and I would find a way to reconcile.

Al has since said that other people came to him annoyed with Hae's behavior, and that he'll talk with her, but nothing has changed. Everyone else is of the opinion that, while overbearing, Hae is exactly who she purports to be and lacks the cunning to be intentionally manipulative.

I'm kind of at my wits end about it and don't know how to proceed. I feel like I'm being put in a position where I have to pretend to feel like I'm in the wrong and apologize to her if I want to get my friends back. Al has been making a little bit more of an effort to include me in stuff, but Hae has made it very clear that she isn't speaking to me and always finds a reason to leave when I get involved in stuff.

No one else appears to have an issue with this behavior.

What would you all do in this situation? Do you think It's likely that I am reading too much into her behavior and that she's not as sinister as I believe, or that I've got enough coincidences to add up to something meaningful?

God, I can't express how stupid I feel that I'm in this situation, but I am very torn about what to do going forward. At my age, I it's not easy to make new friends and I don't want to grow away from this group-- which is what I feel like is happening as long as I let this awkwardness stay between Hae and I.

Thanks for any advice you can give.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:55

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Pirate Radar posted:

The male/female split with the world sex map is that if you go into a woman�s apartment and see her sex map and there�s a pin in Cambodia, you assume, �oh, she went with her partner� or �oh, she hooked up with somebody at a hostel� while if it�s a man and there�s a pin in Cambodia you leave immediately

*shouting into the street increasingly loudly as a woman flees my apartment* ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK I JUST TRAVELED SOUTHEAST ASIA WITH MY GIRLFRIEND I SWEAR

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

I [32] M am being "forced out" of my core friend group by a [29] F.

I read most of the stories posted here but no way am I tucking into this one

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:00

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

TheScott2K posted:

I felt like work was a huge relief after college. In college I was studying all the god drat time. I'd get out of work at 4 and the rest of the day was 100% mine.

Working is so much nicer and less stressful than being a student was for me. I had so much poo poo to worry about and keep track of in college, wheres my work stays at work and I�m free to do whatever I want for the rest of the day. Bad news is that I get paid like poo poo, but whatever. Obviously this depends on your type of job.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:03

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

Working is so much nicer and less stressful than being a student was for me. I had so much poo poo to worry about and keep track of in college, wheres my work stays at work and I’m free to do whatever I want for the rest of the day. Bad news is that I get paid like poo poo, but whatever. Obviously this depends on your type of job.

In 12 years of working since college I've never encountered a deliverables schedule as rigid as any syllabus.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:05

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Tanith posted:

And now for something lighter...than air

AITA for refusing my mom and her husband to include their hot air balloons (like the kind people ride in, up in the air) in my wedding ceremony this summer?

condolences to the OP's family on being so starved for whimsy by their joyless presence that they're resorting to "militant balloonist"

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:10

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Tanith posted:

And now for something lighter...than air

AITA for refusing my mom and her husband to include their hot air balloons (like the kind people ride in, up in the air) in my wedding ceremony this summer?

https://twitter.com/Adequate_Scott/status/1115691282943434752?s=19

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:11

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this one is absurdly long, and there's not a big reveal or twist at the end. but, if you want to taste a heady stew of burning hatred and incredible bafflement, you might "like" it. every single action taken by every person in this is completely incomprehensible and wrongheaded. online DnD drama!

I [32] M am being "forced out" of my core friend group by a [29] F.

This guy has kids? What the hell?

Grow the gently caress up and stop acting like a child if you don't want to be treated like one. This idiot doesn't even like DnD that much, so develop a personality and some personal interests to go with it while you're working out that spine transplant.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:14

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this one is absurdly long, and there's not a big reveal or twist at the end. but, if you want to taste a heady stew of burning hatred and incredible bafflement, you might "like" it. every single action taken by every person in this is completely incomprehensible and wrongheaded. online DnD drama!

I [32] M am being "forced out" of my core friend group by a [29] F.

I read this entire thing and it was like reliving my 14 year old anime nerd days over again, except if nobody had a spine. I hate this so much.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:14

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this one is absurdly long, and there's not a big reveal or twist at the end. but, if you want to taste a heady stew of burning hatred and incredible bafflement, you might "like" it. every single action taken by every person in this is completely incomprehensible and wrongheaded. online DnD drama!

I [32] M am being "forced out" of my core friend group by a [29] F.

I should have heeded your warning. This one was boring as hell with no payoff at the end. Spoilered ages almost saved it for me tho cause I assumed they were teenagers

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:19

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

quote:

I am a big believer that people's first few D&D characters are reflections of who they want to be, and how they want people to see them.

quote:

I decide I am going to make an evil character and do evil stuff.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:25

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

This reminds me of that couple in the ultra-white neighborhood that planted drugs on some lady's car because of a perceived slight against their son.

I remember reading this article about that incident, and it's still a wild ride. Y'all should take the time to read this long-form article, it's worth it. It has everything: vendettas over non-insults, cuckholding, faked disabilities, the world's worst lawyers getting eviscerated in court...

https://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:29

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Theophany posted:

Nah. It's a loving harrowing read.

It's obviously bullshit so don't feel too bad. I actually hope you take comfort from that because it's clearly some weirdo posting a hosed up story, none of it rings remotely true and I personally am glad because it's horrible

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:35

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

[US, TX] A cop forced his way into my house because he thought my Canadian flag was advertising weed for sale.

quote:

This just happened a few hour ago, and I'm still quite shaken up... sorry if I don't include much detail or if nothing makes sense. I'm going to try my best to articulate everything the best I can, and in the order they happened.

At 7 PM I was out on my porch, reading on my iPad, when a single police officer, I believe off duty, pulls into my driveway out of nowhere. He gets out of his car and begins very angrily pointing at my large Canadian flag hanging off my front porch. He immediately begins making accusations that it's the universal symbol for marijuana, and demands I give up my "stash".

Seconds later he immediately escalates the situation by pulling me up by my shirt and placing me "under arrest" � and I say that with quotes because he did not use his radio at all, which I presume is not normal.

After immobilizing me he tells me he is going to find the marijuana I'm growing, and enters my house. At this point I'm in tears and shaking because I have Aspergers, and don't do well with any sort of confrontation. He was in my house for a very long time � over 30 minutes. When he finally gives up and walks out, he aggressively pulls at my hands bringing me back up to my feet which left marks that are still there due to the handcuffs being so tight. He literally said "Give me back my loving handcuffs" before getting them off, marching over to his car, slamming his door, and literally reversing his car so fast that it screeches back into the street.

I immediately called 911 after he left, and they responded with two cops showing up within minutes of the guy leaving. They couldn't figure out who the hell it was, or if it was even a real police officer. I'm just trembling thinking I'm going to be some target again in the future by a fake cop, or some cop who has gone corrupt off duty. There were no identifying marks on the car that I can remember.

I have a police report. What do I do?

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:40

iustorum_anime: Apr 4, 2016

Play posted:

You're not allowed to tell people how they should grieve or how they should behave after a loved one dies. Nothing here is that bad. Hell it seems likely that his wife encouraged him to move on quickly so that the kids could have a mom. Mind your own loving business OP and don't push your standards on other people without good cause.

I think not knowing the details of the illness and his relationship with his dying wife it's totally inappropriate to criticize. Everyone deals with this kind of thing in their own way and it's really rude, imo, to tell someone how they need to act after their wife of ten years dies.

Starting a new relationship right after your wife dies is one thing. Going on Facebook and telling your wife�s brother �lol good riddance, the bitch couldn�t even do my laundry when she was bedridden and she stopped sucking my dick after the chemo started so what good was she anyway??? btw the kids call my new wife �mom� now so it�s like she never even existed lmao� is another thing entirely.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:45

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

r/legaladvice
My significant other wants me to be a part of the mortgage but not the deed/title, is it smart to agree to this?(MN, USA)
u/disappearingdeer

quote:

As the title states my boyfriend wants me to go through the mortgage process with him and be on the mortgage, which I am not against, but his mother has told him I shouldn�t be on the deed since we aren�t married.

To my understanding this would mean I would be responsible for mortgage payments, but would not have any claim of equity in the house. Is there a way for me to retain some claim to the equity I am also contributing, or is it simply not a smart idea to agree to a mortgage and not be titled on the deed.

To me it doesn�t seem smart or fair on my part, but if there is a way to protect myself and the equity I put into the house I�m certainly not opposed to being on the mortgage.

Any helpful insight or recommendations are appreciated.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:07

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

My (26m) girlfriend (23f) has too many hobbies

quote:

When my girlfriend was in college, we were pretty tight on money and spent a lot of time hanging out with each other at one of our apartments, cooking dinner together, going to the park or to see friends, etc. She studied a lot and did one sport but it didn't overwhelm her schedule.

I was happy like that, I'm really a homebody and I enjoyed relaxing and spending nights together. My girlfriend often talked about what she'd do once she had the money, trying other sports, travel, woodworking, art, but a lot of that just sounded like fantasies, there is no way someone could fit all that into their life, I thought.

But once she finished college and got a well paying job as a programmer, she has picked up one more sport. Between her two sports she has practice Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, and Saturday afternoon. She doesn't always go to them all as sometimes she wants a rest day, but she goes to most of them.

She also has been teaching herself a new programming language because she doesn't want to stop learning after college, and she likes to study from the library rather than home. She'll often go to the library on a weeknight after the gym.

She's also decided to get back into woodworking which she really liked as a teenager, she got a membership at a woodworking co-op so she can use their tools and she's there once or twice a week.

She bought a fixer-upper bycicle and has done a bunch of work on it herself and now rides it with a bike group pretty often.

All this added up, plus her social stuff (after work happy hours, going out with friends, weekend vacations with friends, etc) and she basically leaves home at 8 am every morning for work, often doesn't get home till 9 or 10 pm at night, and is out for half the weekends.

So it's changed a lot, and I ask her if she wants to have a night in sometimes, saying I want to spend more time together, and she'll always say "Why don't you come to the gym with me, come biking with me, come hang out and read in the library when I study, come out to drink with my coworkers and I etc... And I sometimes do that stuff but honestly I don't enjoy it, it tires me out. I just want to have nights in more often.

So I told her that, and she suggested doing some date nights where we watch a movie or show and cook dinner together. Which is something, but it's a little frustrating that everything has to be an "activity" for her now, she can't just chill at home for a night.

I told her that, and she got kind of annoyed that "TV and cooking" was too much of an "activity" for me now. She just doesn't like laying about with nothing to do. She said she hated it back in college, she just did it because she was too tired and stressed and broke to get involved in as much stuff.

So what can we do to compromise? She is antsy staying home and chilling, and I get tired out following her from activity to activity.

tldr: my girlfriend has too many hobbies

help reddit my girlfriend is too fun for me, also i am literally that deflated balloon person from the weed PSA

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:08

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

DemoneeHo posted:

[US, TX] A cop forced his way into my house because he thought my Canadian flag was advertising weed for sale.

This dude was just getting robbed tbh

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:13

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

Blade Runner posted:

This dude was just getting robbed tbh

i agree. he was getting robbed by a police officer

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:17

bus hustler: Mar 14, 2019; Ha Ha Ha... YES!

Sagebrush posted:

My (26m) girlfriend (23f) has too many hobbies

help reddit my girlfriend is too fun for me, also i am literally that deflated balloon person from the weed PSA

theres absolutely nothing wrong with her lifestyle morally, though even to me it sounds pretty exhausting and i'm fairly social, but uh she is not being a decent partner at all either, and they'd probably both just be better off realizing they've grown apart and would be happier with other people.

she's basically willing to devote zero time to him or their relationship at all, and he's not willing to meet her on any of these activities. some people cannot sit still and are not comfortable spending any time alone/in their own head. it's just not gonna work.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:17

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Yeah nobody's a jerk there they're just not compatible.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:24

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

charity rereg posted:

theres absolutely nothing wrong with her lifestyle morally, though even to me it sounds pretty exhausting and i'm fairly social, but uh she is not being a decent partner at all either, and they'd probably both just be better off realizing they've grown apart and would be happier with other people.

she's basically willing to devote zero time to him or their relationship at all, and got mad that he didn't just change his life to suit hers and meet her on all of her terms. some people cannot sit still and are not comfortable spending any time alone/in their own head. it's just not gonna work.

Agreed. It's great that she's got hobbies but honestly most of those are really solitary things to do; you can do them next to other people, but not really with them. Like seriously, "come read next to me while I study"? Not getting home until 10pm five nights a week and vanishing all weekend? He's not a boyfriend, he's a roommate. He just doesn't realize it yet.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:25

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

he apparently finds "cooking dinner together and watching a movie" to be too high-energy so what the hell would appeal to him? lying motionless on the floor in silence?

yeah sure they aren't compatible, whatever, but if he thinks he's gonna find other people to date who get tired out by reading at the library, uh, good luck

also note that he describes zero interests of his own beyond "chilling" and "hanging out"

Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Apr 9, 2019

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:29

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Sagebrush posted:

My (26m) girlfriend (23f) has too many hobbies

help reddit my girlfriend is too fun for me, also i am literally that deflated balloon person from the weed PSA

I�d want to die if my schedule was that busy. Going out for a meal is the most basic activity/date you could do though.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:30

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

It's gotta be weird for someone whose interests begin and end with their flatscreen to be in a relationship with a house-leaver

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:30

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Sagebrush posted:

he apparently finds "cooking dinner together and watching a movie" to be too high-energy so what the hell would appeal to him? lying motionless on the floor in silence?

also note that he describes zero interests of his own beyond "chilling" and "hanging out"

I've known people who could absolutely make either of those activities exhausting but if that's the case he should just break up with her

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:30

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 20:00

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Unsatisfying update from jeans girl:
--------------------------------
Edit 2: just woke Aiden up at 5:45 (on Org Chem test day too...gently caress him) with "what's Madison's last name?" He tried to give me the "who's Madison?" at first but then told him she texted me. He tried to talk me out of it but then relented so he could go back to sleep. So I looked her up on Facebook and it's pretty bare but she does have a "instamodel" sister who has all sorts of sad posts with like her holding her dads hand while has IV and then a somewhat touching insta memorial to her dad...so I'm thinking the text is not a lie.

Edit3: I just texted back and forth with her, we�re meeting at Starbucks at 9.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:31

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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