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Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Pick posted:

Even Georgia Okeeffe painted a skull now and then

I literally just got a post card from the Georgia O'Keefe museum of a skull, from a lady goon. Odd loving timing lol. I'm pretty sure it wasn't pick

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therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Skutter posted:

AITA for yelling at my wife for cheating on me with two guys?

That's the stuff.

I hope there is a gas line explosion while all four of them are home.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

https://twitter.com/2Gerb/status/1116838181133926402?s=19

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

comcast was founded in 1963

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Bananaquiter posted:

I thought school stores soley existed for you to buy gifts for your dad.

I bought a sweatshirt from the medical school where I did my research post doc to better trick people into thinking I was the helpful, important type of doctor.

ad090
Oct 4, 2013

claws for alarm
AITA for not going to my sister’s child-free destination wedding?

quote:

So I was inspired to post this bc of the other wedding post on the front page and the fact that my wife and I are going through this EXACT problem but from the other side. Guess it’s wedding season.

Anyways my younger sister is getting married in August and it will be in Greece. Wife and I live in South Carolina and we have 3 kids, one of whom is only 6 mths old. After we got the invite we gently declined bc 1) funds are tight, 2) wife doesn’t want to leave the baby for 1 week and 3) we haven’t gone on an international vacation since the oldest was born and it feels wrong to do the first one without them.

The last reason is one we’ve kept to ourselves btw. But now my parents know and since they’re funding the wedding my mom is putting her foot down and saying they’ll only pay if my sister makes the wedding closer (like in the US) or child friendly. This is causing a huge rift and my sister is now blaming me and my wife for ruining her wedding day. We’ve been getting mean messages from relatives calling us selfish and entitled for not going. People assume we convinced my parents to rescind the payment, even though we didn’t say anything.

It’s been a total headache and I’m wondering if we effed up in this. Wife is angry and thinks we did nothing wrong but I feel more guilty. AWTA?

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Never negotiate with terrorists.

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



Mister Olympus posted:

This is funny but please admit that you wrote it yourself, this is absolutely nowhere on the subreddit

Rude.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bcnhh6/aita_for_yelling_at_my_wife_for_cheating_on_me/

(It got deleted for being a poo poo post apparently.)

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




ad090 posted:

AITA for not going to my sister’s child-free destination wedding?

I swear every one of these wedding stories, the person(s) is always surrounded by the most immature, vengeful, lovely families and it always reads like some high school drama that could be sorted out in minutes by remotely mature people.
Screw the wedding in Greece and :sever: with the bitch sister.

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Skutter posted:

AITA for yelling at my wife for cheating on me with two guys?

This must be just like living with a pair of guys, and I am not the rear end in a top hat.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

WIBTA if I were to prevent my daughter from going on a summer trip as punishment?

TL;DR - My daughter is spoiled and doesn't know the value of a dollar. We're thinking of

My daughter is 13, almost 14 - let's call her Tara. I've come to realize that she is somewhat spoiled. We (my husband and I) are very well off and have given her a good lifestyle; throughout her and her sibling's childhoods, we made sure to make sure our children know that they are very lucky and that we will not provide for them forever. However, it seems that Tara doesn't quite understand the value of a dollar yet and refuses to recognize how much of a privilege it is to have a huge house in a safe neighborhood, private schooling, a cellphone, etc.

I haven't yet given a punishment to her yet, but it is on the table (and she knows it). For the past few months, she's been acting like a spoiled brat. In February, she destroyed a very nice dress we bought for a school dance and was mad because "It's not like you guys can't afford another one." For that, we made her do extra chores as a mock job until she repaid the value of the dress (and she did not get another). In March, Tara complained to her father that she didn't want him to drop her off at school anymore because it isn't as expensive and fancy as the others in the car lot (he drives a 2013ish Volvo and her friend's parents have Jaguars and BMWs); she had to walk 2 miles to everyday for a week for that.

This past Thursday was the worst offence yet. I'm still seething. She was being foolish at school and somehow broke her phone AND someone else's. Now, the other girl in question is a close friend of Tara's, so I don't suspect any bullying, but I am still enraged at how she handled the situation. She apparently told her friend not to worry because we (her father and I) would pay for it. We had a nice, long chat about this last night about what happened; after a little digging, I realized Tara just isn't appreciative of what her father and I have provided her with. We've had multiple discussions about it, but I don't feel she truly gets it.

So far we have 3 options:

Take away her phone and other expensive tech away for the next month.

Have her get a job doing yardwork/babysitting around the neighborhood until she can pay the equivalent of her phone bill

Have her spend the summer at an uncle's house in a middle class neighborhood close to an impoverished area, where she'll do volunteer service at the local shelter every week. She will also have to have a job.

The last one is the most brutal, as it means she can't go on a girls trip with her BFFs - a (very expensive) trip she's gone on every summer for the past 2-3 years. I'm definitely a proponent of it, however, as she NEEDS to know how lucky she is and MUST gain some real world knowledge (considering my husband and I will only cover college tuition, not anything else, after she leaves the nest). My husband, however, feels it is a little cruel; he feels like we would have to ease her into conditions that "shocking."

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I were to prevent my daughter from going on a summer trip as punishment?

TL;DR - My daughter is spoiled and doesn't know the value of a dollar. We're thinking of

Don't ban her from having a phone for a month, just buy her a cheap lovely phone and make her use that instead. Because that is the appropriate punishment for busting phones. Not exiling her or whatever.

If you want her to get a job that will humble her then don't go for babysitting or yardwork, McDonalds hires at 14.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for not going down on my boyfriend?

I love to give oral. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I’ve always loved going down on him. It’s something I enjoy greatly. I initially thought I did not enjoy receiving oral because my previous partners were not good. Was not a problem as my boyfriend is not the biggest fan of giving oral either.

A few months ago I expressed to my boyfriend I’m interested in trying it again. He was hesitant but did not turn it down. We were intimate last week and he wanted to receive oral and touch for 30 minutes as an extended foreplay. I was into it. I asked for oral afterwards and he said no. And that he was never going to do it because he didn’t want to. I didn’t want to force him into anything so I said okay.

Today he asked for a blowjob and I said I didn’t really want to do it anymore. I enjoy them a lot but something about him not being open to giving really makes me feel weird about it. Like it’s unfair? He said that I should not have said I didn’t want oral in the beginning of our relationship then. I feel like I am allowed to have my sexual preferences changed? AITA for not wanting to go down on him anymore?

Edit: I guess I am conflicted about the situation. Knowing that he is repulsed about giving oral makes me sad even though I understand people are entitled to their own sexual boundaries/preferences. This in turn makes me less excited to give oral because it kind of reminds me of the situation and I guess it is disheartening. I am not spiteful of it but I also feel like if it makes me sad and less wanting to give oral, then I shouldn’t force myself to do it?

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Childfree wedding? Eh, I get it, especially if there’s alcohol and it’s going to be a long ordeal that most kids under 12 wouldn’t really care about. THAT SAID: if they have the kind of money to do a destination wedding halfway around the world, they have the money to hire a pro nanny who could stay at the hotel with the kids for the event, allowing the whole family to still enjoy the vacation together. Could even meet for lunch just before/after the wedding to make the kids feel more included. Maybe it wouldn’t be everyones’ favorite compromise but it’s a hell of a lot better than being a jackass to the parents who are totally NTA.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

AITA for not wanting to pay for a diamond ring?

So my girlfriend and I recently got engaged, and I figured it would be nicer to have her pick out her own ring rather then me guessing what she likes. Now I already know my girlfriend loves shiny things, but now she is absolutely adamant that she wants a real diamond ring. Personally I don't like the idea of shelling out so much money for a piece of jewelry with an artificial high price. So instead I offered to buy her one that was lab-grown, as it's way cheaper but also doesn't involve shady business practices and labor.

Money isn't an issue, it's really about the ethics for me. I do not like the idea of buying her something that potentially harmed someone in the making of it for our wedding. But she thinks I'm being stingy for not buying her a "real" diamond. We've already gotten in a few arguments over this so now I wanted to ask you guys if I should just suck it up or not.

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012
in the room where you sleep

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for leaving my three year old son after finding out he isn’t mine and my wife cheated on me?

I don’t want to go into detail because I am still not divorced legally. (Separated)

Long story short I found out that my child or so I thought was not actually mine. My wife cheated on me with her ex, I found out messages. She had been cheating on me on and off through out our marriage.

Found out too my wife never loved me, she only married me because she was in her 30s and I was a responsible guy that would make a good father.

After finding out I was devastated. I have always wanted to be a family man and hearing this crushed me. I have met her ex in person before too. And finding out my son would grow up to look like him well that was too much.

I decided to break things off completely with my ex. I don’t want to raise another mans kid. And I want to be able to start a new relationship and have children of my own.

However even my parents are saying I am in the wrong, that I should not turn my back on my son. I don’t agree, it hurts but I think in 5 years I would have made the right choice.

three year old boy bangs on the window screaming “daddy come home”

this guy demonstrates moral superiority and screams
back “you’re not my son go die in a hole you piece of poo poo”

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

there's way more expensive things than diamonds out there, when is one of these schmucks gonna grow an imagination and get their boo a 14-carat polonium ring

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I were to prevent my daughter from going on a summer trip as punishment?

Have her spend the summer at an uncle's house in a middle class neighborhood close to an impoverished area, where she'll do volunteer service at the local shelter every week. She will also have to have a job.

The last one is the most brutal, as it means she can't go on a girls trip with her BFFs - a (very expensive) trip she's gone on every summer for the past 2-3 years. I'm definitely a proponent of it, however, as she NEEDS to know how lucky she is and MUST gain some real world knowledge (considering my husband and I will only cover college tuition, not anything else, after she leaves the nest). My husband, however, feels it is a little cruel; he feels like we would have to ease her into conditions that "shocking."

The third one, lady. That's the only way to maybe salvage the wreck that you raised. Your husband is a dingus and the fact that a normal-rear end middle class life, job, and helping some poor people for a just a month is "shocking" says a lot. Stick her there all summer.

All these wedding horror stories are terrible too. I don't understand how getting hitched brings out the worst in people. It's supposed to be this awesome fun party to celebrate love and two families coming together, and an excuse to dress up fancy and eat and get drunk. Like what the gently caress people.

Don't marry people that are mad that you don't want to go into debt for something that was dragged out of a mine.

Scathach fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Apr 13, 2019

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I were to prevent my daughter from going on a summer trip as punishment?
In March, Tara complained to her father that she didn't want him to drop her off at school anymore because it isn't as expensive and fancy as the others in the car lot (he drives a 2013ish Volvo and her friend's parents have Jaguars and BMWs); she had to walk 2 miles to everyday for a week for that.

lol what the hell, she should be walking every day anyway. two miles isn't that far for a 13 year old.


dudeness posted:

Don't ban her from having a phone for a month, just buy her a cheap lovely phone and make her use that instead. Because that is the appropriate punishment for busting phones. Not exiling her or whatever.

If you want her to get a job that will humble her then don't go for babysitting or yardwork, McDonalds hires at 14.

definitely agreed on the cheap phone approach, and couple it with "you want a fancy phone? work for it."

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

Smirking_Serpent posted:

is it illegal to sell someone else's copywritten material for seashells, sell the seashells to someone else for sugar, and then sell the sugar to USD? (I know it sounds crazy but I'm not trolling)

I know this sounds absurd and I'm sorry, but someone is actually selling copies of my book that they typed out on MS word (or google sheets) on a boardwalk in Florida for 50 seashells, then apparently he sells the seashells to this weird store that is a grocery store and sells other touristy beach crap in exchange for sugar. THEN this fucker sells the sugar door to door.

I can assure you I'm just as confused as you. I got an email from someone who read my book a few days ago saying he came across this man, talked to him and this is the process he explained to him that he uses to "avoid copy write laws"

I'm not looking to press charges or even ask the guy to stop, I am just wondering if this beach bum has actually found a loophole in copy write law.

This one's great (also the title is a borderline tongue twister). Has the OP followed up, because I'm really curious about this alleged loop hole.

Speaking of sea creatures, anyone got a link to the surprise octopus gift story? I think the OP, who received the live octopus as a gift, was a marine biologist and was freaking out because they didn't have a proper tank for the creature.

Oh, and speaking of weddings, I don't remember if it was actually posted in this thread, but there was a post somewhere about a woman who wanted a destination wedding in Hawaii where everyone had to wear very specific costumes (including "soda hats," whatever those are) and perform in some kind of symbolic dance. Also, if you were over a certain weight, you had to wear camo.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

dudeness posted:

Don't ban her from having a phone for a month, just buy her a cheap lovely phone and make her use that instead. Because that is the appropriate punishment for busting phones. Not exiling her or whatever.

If you want her to get a job that will humble her then don't go for babysitting or yardwork, McDonalds hires at 14.

Exile her to the middle-class neighbor for the rest of the summer and give her a cheap lovely phone for the duration, but let her go on the trip with her BFFs as an interlude (which I assume is only 1-2 weeks)

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

HIJK posted:

three year old boy bangs on the window screaming “daddy come home”

this guy demonstrates moral superiority and screams
back “you’re not my son go die in a hole you piece of poo poo”

Okay, yes it's lovely to abandon a child but people are also allowed to leave their cheating spouses and the reminders of that experience. "I don't want to raise the child that my wife cheated on me to create" is a valid emotional response even if it's not the best thing for that child to go through

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


SerialKilldeer posted:

Oh, and speaking of weddings, I don't remember if it was actually posted in this thread, but there was a post somewhere about a woman who wanted a destination wedding in Hawaii where everyone had to wear very specific costumes (including "soda hats," whatever those are) and perform in some kind of symbolic dance. Also, if you were over a certain weight, you had to wear camo.

I remember that! The colors were like "purple with orange shoes for anyone under 150lbs, and all black for those over 150 so my 'fat' friends are hidden in pictures"

E https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.brides.com/story/this-bride-set-a-1000-dollar-wedding-dress-code-based-on-weight/amp

She held a polygraph party.

Also,

Scathach fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Apr 13, 2019

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

ad090 posted:

AITA for not going to my sister’s child-free destination wedding?


quote:

We’ve been getting mean messages from relatives calling us selfish and entitled for not going.

It's nice when people just self select to gently caress right off

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

QuarkJets posted:

Okay, yes it's lovely to abandon a child but people are also allowed to leave their cheating spouses and the reminders of that experience. "I don't want to raise the child that my wife cheated on me to create" is a valid emotional response even if it's not the best thing for that child to go through

It’s not even that she cheated it’s that she never loved him and is only with him because he’s the stable safe choice.

It goes a lot deeper and is not as simple as it sounds.

While it sucks for the kid I think the vast majority of you would be hard pressed to continue to raise a kid after finding all that out.

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012
in the room where you sleep

QuarkJets posted:

Okay, yes it's lovely to abandon a child but people are also allowed to leave their cheating spouses and the reminders of that experience. "I don't want to raise the child that my wife cheated on me to create" is a valid emotional response even if it's not the best thing for that child to go through

thus perpetuating the cycle of humans being tossed aside and taught that other people are disposable and don’t deserve trust, dignity, or respect, and that you can maltreat them because your feelings trump their wellbeing, like a cheating whore raising a kid on another man’s dime.

it’s a shame that children are forced to pay for the sins of their parents and the only response is “well that sucks but what about how I feel?”

This is what I hate about America, family means absolutely nothing and adults only care about themselves and not the impact of their actions, and not a single thought is paid to the children who must suffer the consequences of these selfish actions.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

That guy is still on the hook for child support anyway, since presumably he is listed as the father on the birth certificate and has been acting as the kid's father for his entire life. He's obviously completely justified in getting a divorce but he can't just walk out on his financial obligations so easily.

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

Scathach posted:

I remember that! The colors were like "purple with orange shoes for anyone under 150lbs, and all black for those over 150 so my 'fat' friends are hidden in pictures"

E https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.brides.com/story/this-bride-set-a-1000-dollar-wedding-dress-code-based-on-weight/amp

She held a polygraph party.

Also,



Thanks! Oh my gosh it's even more ridiculous than I remember. And apparently the men don't wear pants:

quote:

MEN (100-200 LBS)

-PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket

-Soda Hat

-All White Trainers

-Plain Glow Sticks


Also, I think this is what they mean by soda hat:



e: Oh, and there's a reason behind the dancing and dress code! They're spiritual healers!
https://www.boredpanda.com/thousand...ampaign=organic

SerialKilldeer fucked around with this message at 20:42 on Apr 13, 2019

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

HIJK posted:

thus perpetuating the cycle of humans being tossed aside and taught that other people are disposable and don’t deserve trust, dignity, or respect, and that you can maltreat them because your feelings trump their wellbeing, like a cheating whore raising a kid on another man’s dime.

it’s a shame that children are forced to pay for the sins of their parents and the only response is “well that sucks but what about how I feel?”

This is what I hate about America, family means absolutely nothing and adults only care about themselves and not the impact of their actions, and not a single thought is paid to the children who must suffer the consequences of these selfish actions.

It's almost like life is mostly unfair and taking it on yourself to personally balance all inequity at your own expense is a fast track to mental breakdown

but yeah bastard children getting short shrift from the cuckolded parent is definitely a uniquely American thing lmao

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Apr 13, 2019

Moon Slayer
Jun 19, 2007

I thought the prevailing wisdom was that "staying together for the children" was the absolute worst thing you could do, because all it does is teach children that "normal" adult relationships are full of resentment and passive-aggressiveness.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

That guy is still on the hook for child support anyway, since presumably he is listed as the father on the birth certificate and has been acting as the kid's father for his entire life. He's obviously completely justified in getting a divorce but he can't just walk out on his financial obligations so easily.

That is state dependent. Some states will allow an out if there was deception and you get a paternity test. Which he should definitely pursue.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

HIJK posted:

thus perpetuating the cycle of humans being tossed aside and taught that other people are disposable and don’t deserve trust, dignity, or respect, and that you can maltreat them because your feelings trump their wellbeing, like a cheating whore raising a kid on another man’s dime.

it’s a shame that children are forced to pay for the sins of their parents and the only response is “well that sucks but what about how I feel?”

This is what I hate about America, family means absolutely nothing and adults only care about themselves and not the impact of their actions, and not a single thought is paid to the children who must suffer the consequences of these selfish actions.

Dude, how good of a dad do you think he’d be here?

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

Scathach posted:

I remember that! The colors were like "purple with orange shoes for anyone under 150lbs, and all black for those over 150 so my 'fat' friends are hidden in pictures"

E https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.brides.com/story/this-bride-set-a-1000-dollar-wedding-dress-code-based-on-weight/amp

She held a polygraph party.

Also,



This is amazing. Was there ever an update after the polygraph party? Or maybe no one came, so there was nothing to report.

I love that the women under 160 pounds have to buy Louboutins and Burberry while the men just have to get glow sticks and a tacky gimmick hat.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

HIJK posted:

three year old boy bangs on the window screaming “daddy come home”

this guy demonstrates moral superiority and screams
back “you’re not my son go die in a hole you piece of poo poo”

Should I also be required to adopt any orphans I come across? What if I meet some kids that have two parents, but they aren't very good ones? Do I also have to raise them as my own?

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

HIJK posted:

thus perpetuating the cycle of humans being tossed aside and taught that other people are disposable and don’t deserve trust, dignity, or respect, and that you can maltreat them because your feelings trump their wellbeing, like a cheating whore raising a kid on another man’s dime.

it’s a shame that children are forced to pay for the sins of their parents and the only response is “well that sucks but what about how I feel?”

This is what I hate about America, family means absolutely nothing and adults only care about themselves and not the impact of their actions, and not a single thought is paid to the children who must suffer the consequences of these selfish actions.

How dare he not continue a relationship simmering with resentment, zero love, and distrust so that this child grows up in an awful home environment to arbitrarily make sure there are two adults of different genders in the house?

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


The n word

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

imo all children should be sent to the Pulping Mills regardless of parentage, so there is no question of bias, selfishness, or unfairness

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
"People deserve trust, dignity, and respect. So if a woman marries you just for your wallet and cheats and has a kid, stay with them and have zero dignity or respect for yourself along with a person you don't trust!"

like I'm just losing it. This is the problem with America, apparently, not... all of the political problems.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

No one has said he should stay married to her.

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13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008

I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle




Midnight Voyager posted:

"People deserve trust, dignity, and respect. So if a woman marries you just for your wallet and cheats and has a kid, stay with them and have zero dignity or respect for yourself along with a person you don't trust!"

like I'm just losing it. This is the problem with America, apparently, not... all of the political problems.

Or like...the socioeconomic conditions that make it so that a woman feels like she has to marry a guy she doesn't love but is more stable to have a kid/family.

This isn't a justification for her actions, she's trash, but in countries with adequate social safety nets having a kid out of wedlock isn't a life-ruining experience (for the kid or mom) so she wouldn't have had to rope in some poor fucker and wreck his life to have a kid if she wanted one so badly.

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