/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

LadyPictureShow posted:

Hot dog, we have a wiener!

Lol. I'm glad he realizes he's in the wrong, but what a dicknozzle. :allears:

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:06

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 22:20

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

WIBTAH If i refuse to cut my hair for my sisters wedding?

Alright here goes. For reference, I am a 24y.o. straight male, my sister is 26. Let's start with some background.

For the past 5 years or so, I have started growing my hair out. In my biased opinion, I have amazing thick, curly hair. In public, I often receive random compliments on my hair. People who know me know how much I love my long hair. If given a chance, I will usually talk about it. Everyone has their favorite thing about their appearance, and my curls are my favorite.

Now, a few years back, I made the decision to donate my curls. So I chopped 9 inches off, and began to grow out my hair again. After about 2 years, I made a second donation. I rather enjoy doing this. I get to help people, and indulge my ego at the same time. Win-win.

My family is somewhat conservative (politically, but mostly just about life), and as such, my parents have never liked my hair long, as it looks 'unprofessional'. But I am an adult, so they just make side comments about how I need a haircut. Nothing to hurt our relationship over. My sister is the only family member who outright supports my hair choices. Since I didnt grow up with long hair, she is usually where I go for advice on issues with the curly struggle (and r/curlyhair of course).

Now, for the dilemma. My sister is getting married in a few months. She has asked me to cut my hair before the wedding so that it looks more 'appropriate'. I get along great with her fiance, but he has a more conservative view on life, like my parents, so she has developed that a bit more herself. I assume that it part of the thinking behind her request. As of now, it has been ~9 months since my last haircut, and it usually takes about 2ish years to get the length needed for donation. If the wedding fell around that 2 year mark, I would have no problem making the cut and donation and satisfying her for the wedding photos.

BUT... thats not the case. I have tried telling my sister no light heartedly, but she seems firm that since its her wedding, its her call on whether or not I cut my hair. It even came up once with my mom on a phone call, and my mother is 100% for the haircut. I dont really want to because I have finally hit a length I can actually do stuff with, and I dont want to lose the 9mo of growth Ive gotten since my last cut.

Yes, I am in the wedding party as a groomsmen, and I think this is the biggest issue for my sister. All of her wedding photos with me will have my long hair, and she would prefer it to be short for her eternal memories.

TLDR: AITA for not cutting my hair for my sisters wedding when my entire family supports the cut?

Edit: Just fyi, my sister is not (yet) close to what I would call a Bridezilla. This whole debate has been cordial, and we get along pretty well as a family. Im just looking for an outside opinion on the situation, not insults to my sister. Love ya reddit

Edit 2: Here is a quick pic of my hair today, its a little frizzy because we had humidity roll in today and I didnt do any post-shower products

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:06

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

It's strange to even have butthole expectations.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:08

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTAH If i refuse to cut my hair for my sisters wedding?

Alright here goes. For reference, I am a 24y.o. straight male, my sister is 26. Let's start with some background.

For the past 5 years or so, I have started growing my hair out. In my biased opinion, I have amazing thick, curly hair. In public, I often receive random compliments on my hair. People who know me know how much I love my long hair. If given a chance, I will usually talk about it. Everyone has their favorite thing about their appearance, and my curls are my favorite.

Now, a few years back, I made the decision to donate my curls. So I chopped 9 inches off, and began to grow out my hair again. After about 2 years, I made a second donation. I rather enjoy doing this. I get to help people, and indulge my ego at the same time. Win-win.

My family is somewhat conservative (politically, but mostly just about life), and as such, my parents have never liked my hair long, as it looks 'unprofessional'. But I am an adult, so they just make side comments about how I need a haircut. Nothing to hurt our relationship over. My sister is the only family member who outright supports my hair choices. Since I didnt grow up with long hair, she is usually where I go for advice on issues with the curly struggle (and r/curlyhair of course).

Now, for the dilemma. My sister is getting married in a few months. She has asked me to cut my hair before the wedding so that it looks more 'appropriate'. I get along great with her fiance, but he has a more conservative view on life, like my parents, so she has developed that a bit more herself. I assume that it part of the thinking behind her request. As of now, it has been ~9 months since my last haircut, and it usually takes about 2ish years to get the length needed for donation. If the wedding fell around that 2 year mark, I would have no problem making the cut and donation and satisfying her for the wedding photos.

BUT... thats not the case. I have tried telling my sister no light heartedly, but she seems firm that since its her wedding, its her call on whether or not I cut my hair. It even came up once with my mom on a phone call, and my mother is 100% for the haircut. I dont really want to because I have finally hit a length I can actually do stuff with, and I dont want to lose the 9mo of growth Ive gotten since my last cut.

Yes, I am in the wedding party as a groomsmen, and I think this is the biggest issue for my sister. All of her wedding photos with me will have my long hair, and she would prefer it to be short for her eternal memories.

TLDR: AITA for not cutting my hair for my sisters wedding when my entire family supports the cut?

Edit: Just fyi, my sister is not (yet) close to what I would call a Bridezilla. This whole debate has been cordial, and we get along pretty well as a family. Im just looking for an outside opinion on the situation, not insults to my sister. Love ya reddit

Edit 2: Here is a quick pic of my hair today, its a little frizzy because we had humidity roll in today and I didnt do any post-shower products

ruh roh

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:09

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I�m just tired of women being forced to play games in the vain hope of losing a man�s unwanted interest. Being direct and standing up for oneself shouldn�t be a last resort especially since there are nice and gentle ways to turn people down.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:10

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

butthole expectations is a good username

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:11

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

On the one hand you should not have to cut your hair for a wedding, but on the other hand his hair looks like trash and he should cut it just like in general

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:11

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

who says buttholes aren't supposed to be pretty. throw a lil rouge on that sucker, it won't kill you

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:12

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

I would definitely make that guy get a buzzcut because who wouldn't want this guy in their wedding photos?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:12

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

who says buttholes aren't supposed to be pretty. throw a lil rouge on that sucker, it won't kill you

Shaving a butthole sounds terrible. Waxing is a better idea.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:14

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

butthole expectations is a good username

Charles Dickens should have stopped writing after his first stroke. His sequels started getting weird.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:14

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

If you've decided as a personal lifestyle choice you want your butthole to be ugly that's fair enough but really just sounds like a bunch of folks here got low rear end esteem

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:16

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTAH If i refuse to cut my hair for my sisters wedding?

Edit 2: Here is a quick pic of my hair today, its a little frizzy because we had humidity roll in today and I didnt do any post-shower products

He's not an rear end in a top hat for refusing to cut his hair on its face, but he is THE rear end in a top hat for having hair like that. :cripes:

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:18

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for driving under the speed limit in the left lane?

quote:

My typical driving speed is between the speed limit and 5 under. Sometimes there are people in the right lane driving slower than I am, typically semi trucks going up hill. When I encounter these vehicles, I pass them at the speed limit. Sometimes this takes a while if there is a long line of slow vehicles. I know sometimes this pisses people off who want to go 10+ over. They tailgate me and act agitated, but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I'm using the passing lane for exactly that, passing, and I get back in the right lane as soon as I pass the leading slow vehicle.

Edit for clarity...

Some have commented on an apparent incongruity between stating that I drive under the speed limit in the left lane and that I pass at the speed limit. A typical scenario might go something like this...

Speed limit is 65. I come up on some tractor trailers going up a hill at 45. I slow down to match their pace while waiting for a spot to open up in the left lane that's large enough that I can use it without cutting somebody off. When I get that spot I merge left, at that instant I'm still traveling at the same speed as the tractor trailers, 45. I accelerate to 65 as quickly as possible to get around them. If the line of tractor trailers is 6 or 8 trucks long I may have somebody behind me by the time I get to the front of the line who wants to go 75 or 80.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:19

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

My [44f] daughter [16f] still sits on her father's [47m] lap. I don't think it's appropriate but he thinks it's totally fine. I disagree and don't know if I'm right or not.

quote:

Sometimes he's like in his study or on the couch and she comes and sits on his lap and they generally talk for a few minutes and then she leaves. I think she does it mainly when she wants to talk about something in particular with him, but a few days ago they were in the study reading something together.

They have a close relationship, she's I think closer to him because they share more interests, but we all get along well, it's not like she's only close to him.

I personally don't think that's appropriate for a young girl (or any woman past a certain age), but he disagrees. I asked him if he thought it was appropriate and he said he didn't see a reason why it wouldn't be. I told him, because that's the sort of thing most people would reserve only for romantic partners.

He said she's been sitting on his lap for 16 years what's the big deal now? I said I didn't think it was an appropriate boundary to cross. He said he disagreed and he thought everyone at home had clear boundaries and no one was crossing lines.

I kind of see his point but also don't. I disagree in that it's totally appropriate. I personally think that sort of stuff should stay behind after 11 or 12, but the discussion made me doubt and maybe I'm being a little too strict and a bit crazy about it.

Is what I'm saying fair? Is he right in that there's no reason to think it's inappropriate? I want an outside opinion since we'll probably keep butting heads if I talk to him about again.

tl;dr: Daughter sits on father's lap. I think she's too old for that but he disagrees. Am I justified in what I think? Is he right in that it is totally fine?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:20

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTAH If i refuse to cut my hair for my sisters wedding?

Edit 2: Here is a quick pic of my hair today, its a little frizzy because we had humidity roll in today and I didnt do any post-shower products

Why the gently caress does any man think a goatee is acceptable facial hair. You're not in a 90s ska band dude

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:21

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I suggested therapy for my creepy, bone-collecting niece?She's an intelligent, precocious child and sometimes when I'm around her I feel like I'm in the movie Orphan (SPOILER: full grown woman in little girls' body). She's articulate for her age and her parents say it's because she reads so much. She's in 1st grade (skipped Kindergarten) and has already read all the Harry Potter books.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3hAVT2sDqQ&t=53s

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:21

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

I was expecting some massive Weird-Al style long curly hair, instead it's just a dude with an already fairly short but kinda bad haircut. Is their family military or something and anything over a few 3cm is viewed as long hippie hair??

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:22

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

My [44f] daughter [16f] still sits on her father's [47m] lap. I don't think it's appropriate but he thinks it's totally fine. I disagree and don't know if I'm right or not.

Smart move on changing the ages, Melania.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:26

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for driving under the speed limit in the left lane?

I hate this man more than anyone who's ever been posted here

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:27

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I hate this man more than anyone who's ever been posted here

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:30

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I hate this man more than anyone who's ever been posted here

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:32

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Dazerbeams posted:

Being direct and standing up for oneself shouldn�t be a last resort especially since there are nice and gentle ways to turn people down.

yeah see it turns out a lot of guys still get super hurt and become violent even if the let-down is 'gentle' and 'reasonable' sooooooooo this isn't really a fair expectation to put on people, it's pretty reasonable and sensible for women to decide to work around the issue rather than confront it

I know in a perfect world women would just be direct, but in that same perfect world men would receive this directness with grace rather than violence

So once you clean what's going on there on your ends dudes, only THEN can women even begin to entertain the idea of approaching you in an honest and open manner

right now we're still too worried about dying by your hands to really think 'hmmm this guy sure deserves for me to be honest!'

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:33

Edgar Allan Pwned: Apr 4, 2011; Quoth the Raven "I love the power glove. It's so bad..."

i am surprised at the disses with his hair. I think longer it would be a nice wig for someone.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:38

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Dazerbeams posted:

I�m just tired of women being forced to play games in the vain hope of losing a man�s unwanted interest. Being direct and standing up for oneself shouldn�t be a last resort especially since there are nice and gentle ways to turn people down.

Oh I'm absolutely pissed off at the situation and the people who create it, I'm just not irritated at the people who are stuck in the lovely situation.

If he were straightforward about his approach, I would definitely recommend she should be upfront and clear, but nice, about declining. The problem is his plausible deniability plus his greater social standing, so when he's sneaky and she's direct, she's at risk. I don't know of a way that she can be direct and he'll still consider her nice, or even not an enemy.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:39

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Edgar Allan Pwned posted:

i am surprised at the disses with his hair. I think longer it would be a nice wig for someone.

I suppose it is objectively better than involuntary bald but that's a pretty low bar

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:42

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I hate this man more than anyone who's ever been posted here

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:43

Depressio111117: Oct 18, 2014; A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

TheScott2K posted:

r/Parenting is always lit on Sunday

Kids birthday party: Is this normal or am I being entitled?

I�ve fallen way behind but baaaahahhah oh my god

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:47

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for getting really close behind someone driving slow in the fast lane?

quote:

This is one of my biggest pet peeves when I�m driving. To the point where it legitimately pisses me off. If there�s no one in the slow lane I�ll just pass them and let it be, but when two people are driving side by side it drives me absolutely insane!

You should only be in the fast lane if you are passing someone. That is it. And if you start passing someone but for whatever reason you can�t, then slow the gently caress down and go behind them. Or speed up for 5 seconds to pass them. It is so irritating when people block the fast lane.

If it�s late at night and they do this, especially when there�s almost no one else on the road, it makes me even more pissed. Sometimes I drive to the side so my headlights are in their mirror, if they don�t get the hint. If they still keep doing it I�ll flash my headlights.

So am I the rear end in a top hat or is this kinda justified?

EDIT: IK this doesn�t justify it, but if the other one is open, I will just pass them. I only do this when they�re driving side by side with another car and it has been like this for like over a mile. And they are both going under the speed limit

This guy should go fight the speed limit dude in my last post

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:50

Willfrey: Jul 20, 2007; Why don't the poors simply buy more money?; Fun Shoe

Cacator posted:

Why the gently caress does any man think a goatee is acceptable facial hair. You're not in a 90s ska band dude

.....gently caress

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:54

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I suggested therapy for my creepy, bone-collecting niece?

She's 5 and the creepiest person I've ever met. For starters, the questions she asks are off the wall. She once asked me if she could feel my skin to make sure I was warm and living and how many buckets of blood I thought were inside a cow. Those are just two of the recent ones. When she's not asking questions, she's staring into the distance (or occasionally straight into your eyes) with a blank look on her face. She's an intelligent, precocious child and sometimes when I'm around her I feel like I'm in the movie Orphan (SPOILER: full grown woman in little girls' body). She's articulate for her age and her parents say it's because she reads so much. She's in 1st grade (skipped Kindergarten) and has already read all the Harry Potter books.

Even so, I feel like she knows way more than possible for someone so young. She's never shown any aggression or violence toward anyone, but I feel like she's not normal. I once saw her picking hairs off a family member's jacket and putting them in a little plastic baggy. This girl has a mason jar full of CHICKEN BONES on her night stand. I'm not making this up. Every time her family eats a rotisserie chicken, she picks out the bones she "likes" and puts them in the jar. I am 19 years old and terrified of a this small child. I get uneasy even going to their house because I'm afraid I'll see her in the corner counting her little bird bones. WIBTA if I suggested my brother take her to therapy? The rest of my family just thinks she's a normal, kooky kid and that she'll grow out of her creepy tendencies. Am I wrong for thinking that there's something not okay with her?

drat this girl is cool

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:56

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for getting really close behind someone driving slow in the fast lane?

This guy should go fight the speed limit dude in my last post

What kind of dumbass tries to blind an already bad driver?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:57

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Cacator posted:

Why the gently caress does any man think a goatee is acceptable facial hair. You're not in a 90s ska band dude

You never know, he might be.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:01

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Rotten Red Rod posted:

That kid sounds loving awesome and the OP is the biggest tool ever for thinking she needs therapy. Heaven forbid we let a five year old be creative, weird, and smart, no no, we must grind all of them out of them immediately.

Yeah, the kid is good. OP needs therapy because they are clutching pearls like a church lady at a Marylin Manson concert over poo poo a five year old told them

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:02

ulex minor: Apr 30, 2018

Smirking_Serpent posted:

This girl has a mason jar full of CHICKEN BONES on her night stand. I'm not making this up. Every time her family eats a rotisserie chicken, she picks out the bones she "likes" and puts them in the jar.

either the poster made up this detail for colour or the parents have weird standards, a jar full of chicken bones like that would stink outrageously at the best and attract maggots at the worst, chicken bones from roast chicken carcasses aren't nice and clean, like when you see some people's animal bone collections, the process of cleaning bones to collect is quite involved - they'd be full of fat all the way through from the cooking process even if they looked as if they'd been picked completely bare on the outside and quickly start to rot horribly

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:10

Gone Fashing: Aug 4, 2004; KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

the bone fact knower has logged on

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:17

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Seems like waiting for Pick to weigh in would be the good and right thing to do here, but I can't get over the pearl-clutching at "She's reading books intended for slightly older children!!!!"

Then again I read Stephen King's Christine when I was 11 and now I have an account on the Something Awful Forums so

Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Apr 18, 2019

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:20

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

gently caress Your Website posted:

Seems like waiting for Pick to weigh in would be the good and right thing to do here, but I can't get over the pearl-clutching at "She's reading books intended for slightly older children!!!!"

Then again I read Stephen King's Christine when I was 11 and now I have an account on the Something Awful Forums so

I read The Stand at 11 and at the end of the 800 pages I was like lol what a waste of loving time.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:28

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

I count myself as an expert on developmental psychology and childhood mental illnesses after having watched the documentaries Children of the Corn and The Omen

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:34

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 22:20

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

SO (F40) signed me up for acupuncture session knowing I have a strong phobia of needles. I (M23) backed out at the last minute, now she won't talk to me.

quote:

I have been dating a woman a few years older than me since I moved to Europe almost a year ago. I look much older, early 30s, and she looks early 30s as well. We get along great for the most part.

I have been very up front with her that the only phobia I have in life is having a needle in my skin. Getting a vaccine is very difficult for me, and getting blood drawn even more so. The last time I had a blood test I almost had a panic attack. I am aware this is a ridiculous fear and am open about it.

A month ago I hurt my foot, and it has healed maybe 90% to what it was before. She hurt her back, and planned to do acupunture to complement her treatments. She made an appointment for me as well without asking me, and the next time I saw her she broke the news to me. I said that I did not want to do it and she told me that it would be good for me and was disappointed that I would not do it. She kept pressuring me to do it, and eventually I agreed when she said she would sit with me while it was being done.

When I went I was very nervous, and she was fine. The acupucturist was very nice and told us we would be in separate rooms, meaning she would t be with me during the session. She went in first and I went in 20 minutes later. I was really nervous by then and they guy could tell. I asked him if it would hurt, whether I could feel the needles, and where they would go. He told me that he would be completely honest with me. I would have 5 needles in my hands, feet, and legs, and they may be felt the whole time (30 minutes). He told me he could tell I was tense and that if I am tense it could be uncomfortable. He gave me a few minutes to think about whether or not I would do it.

I got dressed and waited for my SO to be done with her session. She walked out and started laughing. She was super apologetic and acted understanding with the acupuncturist there. We walked out and she got a bit quiet. I sent her a text later, and she has not replied in two days. We usually talk every day, so I have the feeling that she is giving me the silent treatment because she is embarrased or annoyed that I didn't go trhough with it. To me this is cold and a bit a manipulative. Is this a regular reaction? Does this paint me as a weak person even though I was upfront that this is something I am uncomfortable with?

TLDR; GF signed me up for something that involves a phobia that she knows I have, I backed out at the last minute now she is not talking to me after a couple of days. Is this an acceptable reaction?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 23:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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