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i really wish lord and miller got to bring the fart joke boob comedy version of solo to theatres
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Apr 23, 2019 10:29
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Star Wars: Screwballs is probably the only thing they haven't tried yet. gently caress it, do it. Not like it could damage the IP any further. It'll be a boobs & butts focused comedy where rival jedi and sith frathouses at the space university are competing for the green space babes in sports related wacky hijinks. I'll take my cheque made out to "cash" thanks Mickey Mouse.
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Apr 23, 2019 10:33
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That was the first thing they cancelled when they bought the franchise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMVrMP8us6Q
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Apr 23, 2019 10:45
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I'm just waiting for the animated feature length movie where Mickey Mouse plays Luke, Minnie plays Leia, Goofy plays Han and Donald Duck players Vader. Shame the mouse didn't buy WB instead of whatever they last bought. Could have had Marvin the Martian playing Vader instead with his Earth shattering kabooms.
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Apr 23, 2019 10:47
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Mooey Cow posted:That was the first thing they cancelled when they bought the franchise. Proof that Star Wars was going to be terrible either way.
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Apr 23, 2019 10:57
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I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!
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Mooey Cow posted:That was the first thing they cancelled when they bought the franchise. I dunno where to start with how much I hate this.
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Apr 23, 2019 11:46
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Robot Chicken Star Wars was better than this.
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Apr 23, 2019 11:51
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QuarkJets posted:TLJ had a lot of stupid poo poo in it but then I'm reminded that The Phantom Menace had a pair of heroic jedi rolling up into a town with literal slaves and the jedi were just like "yeah this is all fine, the real crime is the trade federation imposing an embargo on Space Venice" Well I mean yeah, that’s the point. It’s an important part of how Lucas sets up the prequel Jedi as morally limited if not outright corrupt. Slavery has always been a big part of the Star Wars universe (think how C3PO and R2D2 are treated, like literal hardware to be auctioned off, not allowed in bars, even though we know they are basically people). How is this compatible with Jedi “for a thousand generations”? The whole question that the prequels are created to answer is essentially “if you’re so smart, how come you ain’t rich” to the Jedi. If they were so good and wise, how did two guys wipe them out? And why would someone genuinely good, like Anakin once was, convince himself that it was right to do so? Answer: they weren’t that good. They — even the good ones like Qui-Gon — let evil go on everywhere, telling themselves it was none of their business, until it bit their asses right off. Anakin being a slave whom they hypocritically free because it serves them is what shapes his whole attitude to the order’s moral teaching.
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Apr 23, 2019 12:07
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"It's time for The Last Jedi to end"...is what I said to myself after the casino planet detour
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Apr 23, 2019 12:14
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skasion posted:Well I mean yeah, that’s the point. It’s an important part of how Lucas sets up the prequel Jedi as morally limited if not outright corrupt. Slavery has always been a big part of the Star Wars universe (think how C3PO and R2D2 are treated, like literal hardware to be auctioned off, not allowed in bars, even though we know they are basically people). How is this compatible with Jedi “for a thousand generations”? The whole question that the prequels are created to answer is essentially “if you’re so smart, how come you ain’t rich” to the Jedi. If they were so good and wise, how did two guys wipe them out? And why would someone genuinely good, like Anakin once was, convince himself that it was right to do so? Answer: they weren’t that good. They — even the good ones like Qui-Gon — let evil go on everywhere, telling themselves it was none of their business, until it bit their asses right off. Anakin being a slave whom they hypocritically free because it serves them is what shapes his whole attitude to the order’s moral teaching. Stop complaining. Your space shoes and space clothes were made by droid labor under terrible conditions and you bought them anyway, hypocrite.
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Apr 23, 2019 12:15
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Fister Roboto posted:But of course the actual answers are a) the 1st Order just invented some thing that lets them track the rebels through hyperspace, and b) ??? there's a lot that's funny about this hyperspace tracking is not impossible like rose and finn say. in the original movies, the imperials track the falcon to yavin pretty quickly (with a device, admittedly) but the point is that it's still a possibility to be tracked once you jump to lightspeed. in empire strikes back, an imperial officer tells his crew to track 'all possible destinations' the falcon could be jumping to based on its exit vector. in the disney films, rogue one itself implies that vader tracks leia's ship right from scarif. so, it's not impossible. the question is how feasible it is. so, let's assume you need either a special tracking device time and processing power or, in the third case, the force so, what is the impossible technology that the first order came up with? it has to be something that runs on snoke's ship but also runs on every other destroyer but they only have one operating at a time for some reason. the last jedi novel states that it's just a version of option 2. a fancy calculator that computes where ships are heading faster and better than any before it. that's it. BeanpolePeckerwood posted:I guess one of the big reasons why (aside from lack of actor chemistry) the 'space opera' feeling no longer delivers is because the quality of the editing and the accompanying score feel so incredibly generic and half assed. Like, I'm not going to argue that the PT delivers on shot composition and editing, but in the final work at least William's score felt outsized and provocative. it's not helped that what muse be studio mandate has williams reusing elements of the OT score in similar scenes meaning that all your brain does is compare, say, the falcon going through the weird red crystal stuff with it going into the death star 2
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Apr 23, 2019 13:00
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Mooey Cow posted:That was the first thing they cancelled when they bought the franchise. Well, at least they got something right.
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Apr 23, 2019 13:25
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Okay so nevermind star wars for a moment, what was the last good mouse movie? No not that one you sort of like maybe. An actual good one.
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Apr 23, 2019 14:18
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Apr 23, 2019 14:30
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BeanpolePeckerwood posted:"It's time for The Last Jedi to end"...is what I said to myself after the casino planet detour I remember thinking "oh no... oh nooo" during this part of the film it was like prequel film PTSD
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Apr 23, 2019 14:32
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TLJ was ruined right out of the gates with that awful prank call gag that stretched on and on and on. That felt like something that belongs in an insurance commercial not the opening scene of a $300 million movie
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Apr 23, 2019 14:42
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Applewhite posted:I dunno where to start with how much I hate this. It's not good, and it seems the only reason anyone want to actually see it is out of morbid curiosity. With that said, I appreciate the matte painting gag.
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Apr 23, 2019 14:43
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skasion posted:Well I mean yeah, that’s the point. It’s an important part of how Lucas sets up the prequel Jedi as morally limited if not outright corrupt. Slavery has always been a big part of the Star Wars universe (think how C3PO and R2D2 are treated, like literal hardware to be auctioned off, not allowed in bars, even though we know they are basically people). How is this compatible with Jedi “for a thousand generations”? The whole question that the prequels are created to answer is essentially “if you’re so smart, how come you ain’t rich” to the Jedi. If they were so good and wise, how did two guys wipe them out? And why would someone genuinely good, like Anakin once was, convince himself that it was right to do so? Answer: they weren’t that good. They — even the good ones like Qui-Gon — let evil go on everywhere, telling themselves it was none of their business, until it bit their asses right off. Anakin being a slave whom they hypocritically free because it serves them is what shapes his whole attitude to the order’s moral teaching. So what you are saying is, the rebels - what an apt name, by the way - are basically Confederate rising up again and again.
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Apr 23, 2019 14:51
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Colonel Cancer posted:So what you are saying is, the rebels - what an apt name, by the way - are basically Confederate rising up again and again. There is that bit where the prequel trilogy’s rebels are literally called the Confederacy, and fight with an army of idiot slave soldiers controlled only by technological power One of the interesting things about the original trilogy is how specifically Luke’s attitude towards his slaves changes as it goes on. I strongly regret that the sequels haven’t followed up on this, Disney Wars sees the droids as pure mascots and has never done anything interesting with the personality-less BB8 apart from giving him a comical evil clone for a hot minute in TLJ. The spinoffs are a tiny bit better about this, other problems notwithstanding.
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Apr 23, 2019 15:32
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DancingShade posted:I'm just waiting for the animated feature length movie where Mickey Mouse plays Luke, Minnie plays Leia, Goofy plays Han and Donald Duck players Vader. lol your av
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Apr 23, 2019 15:43
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skasion posted:There is that bit where the prequel trilogy’s rebels are literally called the Confederacy, and fight with an army of idiot slave soldiers controlled only by technological power what about the droid rights activist droid in Solo? you know, the one nobody remembers? edit: Poe also calls BB8 "buddy" a lot, meaning he's already overcome his prejudices.
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Apr 23, 2019 15:57
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Solo is one of the spinoffs that’s a tiny bit better about it. The thing is, the droid is kind of a joke, and her character only exists to tie into a line from Empire that didn’t need anything to be tied into it. At least it shows that somebody making the movie got the subtext of robots though. Also she usurps Vuffi Raa in much the same way as Rogue One usurps Kyle Katarn. Lame skasion fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Apr 23, 2019 |
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Apr 23, 2019 16:01
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Magnitogorsk. posted:TLJ was ruined right out of the gates with that awful prank call gag that stretched on and on and on. That felt like something that belongs in an insurance commercial not the opening scene of a $300 million movie Things I didn't expect in a star war: prank phone calls, yo mama insults. My expectations: subverted.
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Apr 23, 2019 16:15
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Solo would have been better if it was not about Han Solo but otherwise pretty much the same movie. The worst parts were when they made some dumb callback to the OT or provided stupid background on Han Solo himself (e.g. the Kessel Run explanation or how he got his name). Without that baggage weighing it down it would have been a solid star war.
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Apr 23, 2019 16:26
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"Yoda! Why did you destroy all the ancient Jedi texts??" "Just tryin' to get a rise out of you, Skywalker!"
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Apr 23, 2019 16:44
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Linux Pirate posted:Do you think they ever found Toad in the American Graffiti universe. He was reported missing in action near An Lộc in December 1965. More American Graffiti opens with Toad walking outside the wire and into a CAS zone. Literally the last cut in the scene is the grid he's in getting lit up by a napalm strike.
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Apr 23, 2019 17:18
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Vim Fuego posted:If her plan succeed, many lives could have been saved and entire last battle on that planet might not happen. Luke would be alive too. So her entire plan was dependent on the fleet of star ships chasing them not a) splitting themselves up to pay attention to both of the remaining two ships when they diverged course and b) not somehow noticing a ton of escape pods and c) not checking the nearby planet at all? cool lol Apparently her incompetence is rivaled only by the First Order's, which needed some random hacker guy to look out a window and go "hey uh escape pods?" Why didn't they just send out 50 TIE fighters and be done with it? 
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Apr 23, 2019 17:50
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I like that the cloaked ships couldn’t be detected until someone pressed the “detect cloaked ships” button.
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Apr 23, 2019 17:51
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If they had one warp left they could have used the smaller corvette to jump ahead and send coordinates back for a very precise warp for the bigger ship with all the people on it. Then the First Order fleet follows and boom they slam right into a star or black hole. Come on Holdo get in the game. Why even is someone from a peace and love planet the vice-admiral? Her entire plan reveals no intent to defeat the enemy and it is only at the end that she kamikazes. So you're telling me they could have sacrificed one droid and done that at the beginning? It must just not have occurred to her that she could actually kill the enemy. quote:P.S. Her slow decision to kamikaze was understandable since it takes a lot of courage to kill yourself like that and that wasn't in her original plan. (Her original plan is to use that ship as a bait to lure First order away from the hide-out planet) It's understandable for a random civilian, it's not understandable for a vice-admiral. Ask for volunteers, send someone on a suicide mission to ram the corvette into their fleet and that's when the other ship warps away to safety. Like I get that I'm being a bit of a grognard or whatever over here but really it feels like no one spent more than a few moments thinking it through before they banged out a final script. I know that's not true, so I am just confused really. Pretty much everyone in the movie is just insanely incompetent. In A New Hope it was explained that the Empire purposefully let them escape the Death Star in order to track down their base - that's some fuckin strategy (and it actually means the Stormtroopers were pretty good shots). Why was the Death Star unescorted? Tarkin's hubris. Meanwhile - what's the reason the FO didn't send TIE fighters out aside from Kylo's little jaunt (which caused great damage)? The plot required them not to. Why didn't the commanding officer on the rebel side take 2 minutes to talk to any of her executive officers and fill them in when she clearly saw an ugly morale situation arising? The plot required her not to. Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Apr 23, 2019 |
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Apr 23, 2019 17:56
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Gutcruncher posted:I like that the cloaked ships couldn’t be detected until someone pressed the “detect cloaked ships” button. Honestly this was even more idiotic than space fuel or tracking, but since it's only mentioned once for like four seconds it doesn't stick in your brain the same way.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:05
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Maybe the bad guy, Chester Chesterton, is tracking his memaw through force and the tracking button doesn't work and is just a button. And the ship blew up because it was full of space dynamite not some relativistic kill missile. Plot holes fixed!
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Apr 23, 2019 18:09
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there have never been any nonsensical plans in star wars
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Apr 23, 2019 18:13
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Moridin920 posted:So her entire plan was dependent on the fleet of star ships chasing them not a) splitting themselves up to pay attention to both of the remaining two ships when they diverged course and b) not somehow noticing a ton of escape pods and c) not checking the nearby planet at all? "Lord Vader, the battle station plans are not aboard this ship and no transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting but no life forms were aboard." Yeah, gently caress it. Not worth the effort to investigate.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:16
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BlackStar posted:"Lord Vader, the battle station plans are not aboard this ship and no transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting but no life forms were aboard." Uh, Vader like immediately says that she must have hidden the plans in the pod. And then they send troops down to investigate. Did you watch the movie????
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Apr 23, 2019 18:18
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If I had to guess, I would say it’s likely that there originally was a spy on the rebel ship, and that Holdo didn’t exist (Leia did all her scenes), and the casino planet/enemy ship thing was didn’t have Rose and instead had pilot guy. That would all have made the movie much more coherent and make a lot more sense. Then in shooting, Carrie Fisher was completely unable to be in her scenes, the studio demanded they add Rose, and somehow China demanded that there not be a spy or else the film wouldn’t make it past the censors. Then they had to make up a bunch of stuff to fix it while shooting and we ended up with this big mess.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:23
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Chomp8645 posted:Uh, Vader like immediately says that she must have hidden the plans in the pod. And then they send troops down to investigate. Take it easy, nerd. Just relating it to the naive plans of escape pods in TLJ.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:25
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Oh I see. Yes I agree most plot points in TLJ would look even more ridiculous than they already are if there were inserted into the OT.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:27
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You're a nerd!!!!!
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Apr 23, 2019 18:27
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i challenge any of you to explain what the gently caress luke’s plan was to rescue han. star wars relies on morons and blind luck.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:29
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Chomp8645 posted:You're a nerd!!!!! 
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Apr 23, 2019 18:31
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