/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

therobit posted:

New thread title please.

Seconding this.

So the woman up there needs to call adult protection services or something about feces-eater. That dude is gonna die now, or go to another country and end up dead in a ditch after puking his own shut because a dog told him to. She should also drop her boyfriend.

Don't trust a creature that licks its own rear end. Jesus people this is like a 500,000 year old rule.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:13

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 01:49

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Yeah. A lot of the poo poo in this thread is hilarious but that one is just sad. I'm all about ripping on clueless lovely assholes but actual mental illness hits too close to home.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:14

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Wasn't a dog telling someone to do poo poo how Summer of Sam got started?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:15

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It's a good thing he already owns a dog.

"Hi, it's Gary from next door. I was wondering if I could ask your dog a few questions the next time he eats his own poo poo"

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:16

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

I just don't think there's ever much but "wow" to say about the 6lack chat or whatever, there's not a lot of context even if it's real, and worse, it doesn't say r/relationships anymore

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:18

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Twelve Batmans posted:

Wasn't a dog telling someone to do poo poo how Summer of Sam got started?

I didn't take it to literally mean the dog is talking to him, I'm thinking he's watching to see what kind of literal poo poo the dog eats and assumes if the dog eats it then it's safe for him to eat. Which includes his own poo poo. Logic!

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:25

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My Fianc� Wants to Invite His Two Former Lovers to Our Wedding

quote:

Dear Prudence,
My fianc� is dead set on two women he was formerly in love with attending our wedding�one of whom he confessed he still had feelings for a month before he proposed. He was infatuated with them for a very long time. They both turned him down for long-term relationships, but not before using him to cheat on their significant others. He was in love with them since high school. He is now 28. He claims that they are really good friends who only want to see him happy, but they never reach out to him to hang out. Our wedding is planned for November 2020, and we got engaged in November 2018. I am against these women attending, but should I give in and let them attend my happy day, since it would make him happy?
�Not-So-Welcome Guests

quote:

Lots of people are able to maintain platonic friendships with their exes, and I certainly don�t have an ironclad �Don�t invite anyone you�ve ever slept with to your wedding� policy. But this reads like a parody of a bad idea. You and your fianc� got engaged five months ago. Six months ago he was still in love with another woman (a woman he had been in love with for at least a decade and who cheated on her partner with him). It�s unclear to me whether he confessed these feelings to you and about her or whether he confessed to her first, got turned down, and then confessed/proposed to you afterward. Either way, I�m really glad the two of you won�t be getting married until 2020, because that gives you more than a year to spend in couples counseling together. You two need to go! A few important questions you should explore with your therapist: 1) Why did I, LW, accept a marriage proposal from someone who was in love with an ex a month before? 2) What do I believe changed in that month? 3) What kind of relationship does my fianc� plan on having with these two exes for the rest of his life? 4) Does that make me feel supported, valued, and as though I can trust him not to cheat on me? Good luck, and please don�t put down any deposits until after you�ve had your first few sessions.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:29

UZR IS BULLSHIT: Jan 25, 2004

quote:

I'm not a runner, so I don't know if pooping your pants while marathon running is a normal thing to do.

quote:

I'm not a runner, so I don't know if pooping your pants while marathon running is a normal thing to do.

quote:

I'm not a runner, so I don't know if pooping your pants while marathon running is a normal thing to do.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:31

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Cane Problems

quote:

Dear Prudence,
I have a disability that requires me to use a cane on bad days. On a Saturday, a co-worker left her elementary-age children in the lobby, and they proceed to openly mock me and imitate how I walk. It left me in tears. I was in a lot of pain, and it brought up bad memories of my childhood. I didn�t take it to my manager directly. I took my co-worker aside and told her what her children did. She got defensive and told me they were �good� and I was �no good� (English is her second language). I was sympathetic until she tried to grab my cane and called me a �fake.� I went to my manager. He talked to her. Since then, the children no longer imitate me but use slurs they think I can�t understand. This has gone on for several weeks. I hoped it would go away, but the kids find it funnier to yell offensive terms at me as soon as they see me get out of my car (I learned a lot). The company doesn�t allow children on the property, but the on-site managers ignore it and let the kids run outside and watch TV in the lobby. I am not sure what to do. If I record the kids and complain to the higher-ups, that will impact many of the co-workers I actually like. I don�t want to cause trouble.
�Cane Problems

quote:

You are not causing trouble. You are trying to do your job despite being harassed about your disability, and you have every reason to ask for help and support. Your co-worker grabbed your cane and accused you of faking your disability. Frankly, I�m not just worried about her children�s teasing. I�m worried that she�ll try to hurt you again. Don�t try to record them. It�s possibly illegal, could endanger your safety, and isn�t necessary, especially since you�ve already spoken to your manager about them in the past, and he offered you (some) support. Go back to your manager and tell him you�re prepared to bring this issue to HR and upper-level management because it hasn�t improved and is making it difficult for you to get your work done. Based on the fact that there�s already a company policy about not letting children in the office and that you�re protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act, you have an excellent foundation for getting things changed. It would be a shame if other colleagues weren�t able to bring their well-behaved kids to hang out in the lobby when they have trouble getting child care, but that�s not your problem to solve, and you shouldn�t force yourself to put up with painful, humiliating harassment on a regular basis.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:32

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Eating my own poo poo to own the enteritis

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:36

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Tiny Bug Child posted:

Funny dick pic story: at my job (porn site) we have the ability to send snapchat messages to thousands of horny men who think they're following real live attractive women and not accounts run by a script on a machine in our spare room. My old boss, whenever someone pissed him off or he just wanted to play a prank on a friend, would send out messages with his target's phone number. He called it "dickbotting" someone. He never did it to me but I saw it happen to other people and the non-stop cavalcade of dick pics would make your phone unusable for like a day. Just hundreds and hundreds of cocks coming at you every few seconds.

Name your price, I�ve got some scores to settle.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:37

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Use your cane to whoop those little kids' asses. Every kid needs an rear end whoopin' from a mean old person with a cane at some point in their life. That's probably what's wrong with your co-worker; she never had a geezer lay a beating on her.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:39

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Look, the guy just wants to show how friendly he is to the 3rd world heathens by presenting them a poo poo-eating grin

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:39

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

DemoneeHo posted:

Cane Problems

Outlaw people bringing their children to work. Allow dogs instead.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:40

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

DemoneeHo posted:

Look, the guy just wants to show how friendly he is to the 3rd world heathens by presenting them a poo poo-eating grin

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:42

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Twelve Batmans posted:

Outlaw people bringing their children to work. Allow dogs instead.

Dogs in the workplace are loving horrible gently caress that poo poo.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:42

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Tiny Bug Child posted:

Funny dick pic story: at my job (porn site) we have the ability to send snapchat messages to thousands of horny men who think they're following real live attractive women and not accounts run by a script on a machine in our spare room. My old boss, whenever someone pissed him off or he just wanted to play a prank on a friend, would send out messages with his target's phone number. He called it "dickbotting" someone. He never did it to me but I saw it happen to other people and the non-stop cavalcade of dick pics would make your phone unusable for like a day. Just hundreds and hundreds of cocks coming at you every few seconds.

Anyway, here's this:

My friend keeps eating feces, pooping his pants to prepare for an overseas trip - I'm worried
submitted 42 minutes ago by cherry-mack

ok there's something else going on here other than just bipolar

i showed this to my fiancee not realizing it was a bipolar story (she has bipolar 1) and she agreed that even at her most absolutely bat poo poo crazy she would probably take a step back and go "wait am i really about to eat poo because a dog told me it's safe"

like it's reasonably likely that he's manic, but it's also reasonably likely that he's just an absolute idiot, and it's more likely than both that this is a completely fake story because it's totally loving absurd even given the parameters in it

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:47

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Human Centipede: Ouroborous Edition.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:50

Best Bi Geek Squid: Mar 25, 2016

bpd can cause psychosis

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:55

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Good morning, can I borrow a cup of dog poo poo?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:57

Bronze Fonz: Feb 14, 2019

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

like it's reasonably likely that he's manic, but it's also reasonably likely that he's just an absolute idiot, and it's more likely than both that this is a completely fake story because it's totally loving absurd even given the parameters in it

His son just shrugging off his dad's newfound shiteating (and pantpooping) behavior is definately sketchy, as is OP's relative acceptance of this whole thing.
It's either fake or these are absolute loving idiots who probably have experienced several situations already outlined in this thread.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:58

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

ok there's something else going on here other than just bipolar

i showed this to my fiancee not realizing it was a bipolar story (she has bipolar 1) and she agreed that even at her most absolutely bat poo poo crazy she would probably take a step back and go "wait am i really about to eat poo because a dog told me it's safe"

like it's reasonably likely that he's manic, but it's also reasonably likely that he's just an absolute idiot, and it's more likely than both that this is a completely fake story because it's totally loving absurd even given the parameters in it

Eh, if you mix bipolar with early onset dementia I could absolutely see that kind of crazy emerging. Either way the dude needs serious help and the son just ignoring his dad is a huge red flag.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 17:59

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

I guess I could sort of believe a bunch of idiots seeing that dogs eat poo poo all the time and think that it must be alright for people too. Dogs eat people food, why shouldn't people be able to eat dog food?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:04

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

There's no way he's running 50+ miles barefoot in two hours. There's no possible reason he'd need to. The poop stuff is just a poo poo cherry on the cake. It's gotta be a fetish combined with other mental illness. poo poo eating is 100% a mental illness 100% of the time though.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:29

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I guess today is when everyone shares their blighted birth name story

WIBTA for changing my name passed down from generation to generation?

quote:

My dad's name is Bert. My grandfather is Bertram. My great grandfather is Bertrand. And the naming convention repeats ad infinitum. All sons in the family get the same name or a twist on the same name. My brother is Robert (which was controversial at the time), my uncle is Bart (likewise controversial). Those who deviate like these examples have got poo poo for it, but nothing too serious. This "tradition" has been going back at least a couple of centuries.

At least my brother has a normal name that isn't too uncommon like Bert. My name? Bertamo. I could go on and on, paragraph after paragraph about why I hate my name. I always have. You cannot imagine the bullying and namecalling I've got in my life.

I'm 17. Soon I'll be 18. When that happens, I'm going to change my name to something completely unrelated. I expressed as much to my parents and I guess it got through the grapevine to the rest of my paternal family and no one is happy. My dad is indifferent but is upset I don't like the name he gave me, but my grandfather is apparently so upset I'll be written out of his will. I don't know what a career fisherman is going to leave me in his will but I think I'll be okay.

The thing is that I kind of like some tradition like this going back dozens of generations. It's just this specific tradition I think is stupid. If it was something like a pendant passed down to first sons or something like that, then fine, but I have to live with my name, on display, 24/7, for my whole life. But then again this is really the only family tradition we have. My brother is married and is already brainstorming "Bert names".

WIBTA for changing my name?

Go forth and change your name to Bort

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:38

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

Husband has been lying & paying for custom porn.

quote:

My husband (M,30) and I (F,26) have been together for 6 years, married for 4 of those come June. When we first started getting serious, I discovered one day that he was engaging in live cams - essentially watching women perform sex acts, some that he requested and paid money for. On top of this, he had an EXTENSIVE collection of porn. I was very hurt and brought it up to him. We were considering marriage at this point, and he was partaking in this stuff almost daily. We had a great sex life so I didn't understand. He called it an addiction and I told him that I could not marry a porn addict. He sold his hard drive full of porn, promised me that he wouldn't ever do this again, and we moved on. I think it's important to note that he has a fetish that can only be fulfilled with/by a pregnant woman. I was able to 'induce' this fetish after all this happened, and things were great for a while. While we were engaged, I got pregnant and we were ecstatic! I came to realize how deep his fetish was while I was pregnant - but I was getting basically worshiped and he treated me so well. Throughout the years, we've had a couple conversations about porn, and my attitude towards it has shifted. We've made a ton of videos of our own, and he's helped me restore some self confidence, which has made our sex life great. I also have friends in the sex industry and that helped shape my views a bit. Anytime I asked him how we was doing with his addiction, he said it was fine and he was feeling good.

Fast forward to last night. He went to bed a little earlier than normal, and said he was just really tired. Once I came to bed later, I noticed his phone was on my side of the bed - not plugged in & charging on his nightstand like normal. I picked it up and went to plug it in when I saw a notification from Reddit pop up. The username in this notification was in line with his fetish, so I opened it up. 20 minutes of looking led me to find that he's right back where he was. He's watching porn regularly, and chatting with & paying hundreds of dollars to women for custom made videos. I'm talking paragraphs of detail that he'll send to them with instructions on what to do/say. One woman in particular had much more chat history. I found that while he & I were on a romantic vacation to the islands - he was chatting with her almost the whole week. He sent her a picture with his umbrella drink as a 'toast to her' while I was sitting right beside him on the beach. It makes me feel like anytime he approached me for sex on the trip, he did with her in mind.

I didn't know what to do - I couldn't sleep so I just woke him up and calmly confronted him. We talked for almost 45 minutes. He broke down and said he knows it's wrong and he knows he has a problem. He said this fetish it an 'itch he needs scratched'. He said he's been feeling awful about himself and depressed and that led him to indulge in this stuff again too. He compared it to cheating on me, because we've been through this before. I told him that I'm hurt and I won't do this again. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I just feel numb and hurt and like everything I do isn't enough. The past few months have felt like him & I were on top of the world. Communication is great, sex is great, daily life is great, and now this happens.

I've thought about counseling, taking a break, walking away, etc. I'm not looking for a hard & fast solution, maybe just some input from others. It felt really good to get this off my chest. I'm open to questions - I guess I just really need someone to talk to. Thanks in advance.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:39

GeekTheMage: May 20, 2001

What I want to know is, if the dog is teaching him about eating his poop, does that mean that the dog ate the man's poop.

Actually nevermind I don't want to know.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:41

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

DemoneeHo posted:

I guess today is when everyone shares their blighted birth name story

WIBTA for changing my name passed down from generation to generation?

Go forth and change your name to Bort

My wife's uncle has a similar family thing, where the first born male all get the same name.

About a month after the newest family was born, the most senior person with the name found out that his mom cheated on his dad and his father that we was named after isn't actually his biological dad. The whole thing was hysterical.

My wife's family also has a similar thing going, that we completely ignored and went our own way with names because the tradition is stupid, and nobody gave us poo poo for it.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:45

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

I(27F) am not excited about my wedding and it is hurting my fiance (26M)

quote:

A bit of history. We have known each other as frns since 6 years and have been together since 2. He's loving, caring, thoughtful and no words are there to describe how he is in bed. I was in a bad relationship before this and went to a lot of thinking about (pros cons), adjustments etc. Before entering this one. I was aware about the LITTLE adjustments i would have to make but it is all worth it.

His family is very open and have accepted me happily. My family however doesn't think of him as a great catch. According to my mom's words- ' there were so many great guys in your life and you have downgraded yourself instead of being upgraded'. She says this mostly Because we come from a family of educated intellectuals and they have a bit of a business background.

However, things are moving forward. But I am not excited about the wedding. This is mostly because: according to me I haven't achieved much in my career, i get repelled about events which have hype associated with them(weddings etc). Also, I am apprehensive about how much my life is going to change after this.

This is all upsetting my fiance coz whenever something happens about the wedding instead of acting excited, i react very worriedly. He says he feels alone in being happy and there's no use of him being happy alone for a union we should both be excited about. I do love him dearly. But i am not able to put all that aside and just be happy, excited.

How do I deal with this Reddit?

TL;DR: I am not excited about the wedding as much as my fiance and it's affecting our relationship. Part of the reasons come from apprehensions about the future and how I haven't achieved much in my career.

quote:

Thanks for the advice. Thinking about the Happiness I get while he's there does improve things. No we aren't living together now..

quote:

things that my mom is saying isn't helping. He's well settled. He is nearly perfect. She's saying this because he doesn't match with our cultural/intellectual values.

Tythas fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Apr 25, 2019

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:47

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Bronze Fonz posted:

His son just shrugging off his dad's newfound shiteating (and pantpooping) behavior is definately sketchy, as is OP's relative acceptance of this whole thing.
It's either fake or these are absolute loving idiots who probably have experienced several situations already outlined in this thread.

I know a guy who had a breakdown. His wife continually insisted he was fine. And it's not like she didn't know, we sent her all the emails he was sending us about events that never happened, and how we were mind controlling the both of them, and a whole 60 page document obsessing about one woman in the friend group. We had to threaten legal action to get him to back off. Wife still said it was fine and getting better despite all evidence to the contrary.

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

ok there's something else going on here other than just bipolar

i showed this to my fiancee not realizing it was a bipolar story (she has bipolar 1) and she agreed that even at her most absolutely bat poo poo crazy she would probably take a step back and go "wait am i really about to eat poo because a dog told me it's safe"

like it's reasonably likely that he's manic, but it's also reasonably likely that he's just an absolute idiot, and it's more likely than both that this is a completely fake story because it's totally loving absurd even given the parameters in it

Psychosis can definitely be a symptom of bipolar. I get delusions and sometimes hallucinations when I'm manic. Hell, I get delusions when I'm not manic. When you're psychotic, you're going to have problems being rational about your delusions. Especially when people close to you that you trust back you up on it, like his son is.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:50

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Tythas posted:

I(27F) am not excited about my wedding and it is hurting my fiance (26M)

This just seems sad. Her family is being lovely and she has some reasonable anxiety about a major event. Just seems like she's overwhelmed.

I thought this thread was to laugh at morons?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:52

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

The Fattest PI posted:

There's no way he's running 50+ miles barefoot in two hours. There's no possible reason he'd need to.

Need doesn't even enter into it, there's no way he can. That would be running at the same speed as Usain Bolt doing the 100 meters for two hours. He'd be running two marathons back to back in about the same time as the world record for doing one. Maybe they should just take him to a track and get him to demonstrate this ability.

eta: Bert needs to change his name if he doesn't like it. Compromise by keeping Bert as a middle name, which is what all parents thinking of giving their kid a wacky name should do. My middle name is Wilfred, because my parents wanted to honour my great-grandfather, but didn't want me to get bullied for my name. Make it a middle name and the family is happy and the kid can choose to use it or not when they're older.

Sunswipe fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Apr 25, 2019

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:52

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

I 32M am dating 2 different women 21F, 26F and don't know how open to be about it

quote:

I started using Tinder about 6 months ago with varying success. I am divorced as of a year ago and have one infant son. I've met women for straight up sex, I've gone on dates with nothing happening, and I've skipped the dating and gone straight to friendships with some women. So I don't exclusively go on Tinder for the sex. But, I am not interested in a long term relationship right now and I'm up front about that when things turn towards dating. I also always tell women I am divorced with a child if we end up going for a second date. I usually do not bring it up before the first date but will if asked.

My current situation is one I've never been in before. I'm currently seeing two different women, one in my city of residence, and one about an hour away in a nearby city. The nearby woman is in college, 21 years old, about to graduate, and about to move in with her grandmother. Call her K. We've dated about 2 months now with every date being me visiting her or us getting a hotel in my city since I do not want her coming to my home (for reasons not worth explaining). We always have sex. I do not see her when I have my son. She and I are clear this is temporary and we are just having fun. She does not want her parents to know about us because of the age gap and I'm fine with that. However, she has recently started showing signs that she is more serious than first discussed, calling me so she "doesn't feel alone" when she was sick, asking about my son and what he and I are up to, and wanting to set up complex dates. She has bluntly told me that if she comes to my city she is expecting to have sex and not just hang out, so I'm confused by the intimacy she's showing as of late.

The other girl I am dating is much more mature and settled in life. She is 26, moving up the ranks in her job, and lives in a townhome in my city of residence. Call her S. We went on an amazing date and afterwards I told her I was divorced with a son and we decided to just be friends, which I'm totally cool with and have done in the past. She was surprised that I was willing to do that. We have a stupid amount of things in common, but I really am purposefully avoiding something long term because I am not in any place to want that right now. Friendship is an attractive option for me because it takes that pressure off.

Last Friday, I was scheduled to have a date with K and she had to cancel on me after getting sick. I told S that my plans were to go up on my own due to my fellow attendee cancelling (did not mention it was a date), and she asked if she could come because it was a concert she was very interested in. This particular outing was set to go to third major city in my state, get a hotel room because we intended on getting heavily impaired and not driving back down. I said sure, the room has two beds and you're welcome to crash. Well, we go out, and she doesn't drink or partake of anything really, remains pretty well sober throughout the night. I'm well and truly trashed with purpose. In the middle of the concert, she grabs me and starts making out with me. Obviously I didn't shy away and we ended up having sex that night at the hotel. In retrospect, I feel that this was her intent from the moment she asked to come, which is fine by me but definitely in contradiction to what she asked after I told her about my family situation.

Since then, I saw S Saturday night, staying at her place but having no sex because she was having period pains (started the morning after our Friday night romp). Tuesday, I stayed the night at her place after she got extremely drunk during a night out which ended in her getting completely naked when I was starting to go to sleep at her place and us having sex again. I have not instigated either time but obviously was happy to acquiesce. We played hooky the next day, having sex throughout the day and going to brunch and stuff. She was holding my hand and asking me all about my situation with the ex and my kid and she knows absolutely everything about what happened, as does K. It felt very personal and went from friendship to what feels like intimate relationship in like 4 days. I'm kind of uncomfortable with it but we've said nothing about intentions to become serious and it was Tinder, so y'know, I feel it's implied.

So my dilemma is this. K and I have been set to have a date this Friday which will have her driving up here, staying with me in a hotel, and then crashing with me the following morning. We will have sex. I don't know whether I should bring up that I have started seeing S and things have been very heated. There is no risk of STDs from anyone involved as we are all tested pre-relationship and have not been with multiple partners excepting me in this last week. K and I have been clear about the type of relationship we have, which I want to see continue until either party feels like they want to end it. S and I have not been so clear but I intend on having this talk soon, like in the next week or two. I've never been sexually active with two people concurrently and especially not in the context of frivolous escapades without the intent of becoming serious. What is my obligation of honesty to these two women about the other woman, given the context of nothing being too serious and my relationship with K expected to end when she graduates at the end of the month? I know there's selfishness to my question, but I want to avoid hurting K's feelings and though I felt about 2 weeks ago that she would be fine were we to call it quits, I feel she is more involved than before. I'd like to walk away from our relationship friends and so I'm inclined to just not mention S and part ways at some point just by mutually saying goodbye, not because of "another woman". Would I be an a-hole to keep the other woman to myself, or is it okay for me to just let things play out and end our relationship in the near future? Be brutal.

TL;DR Dating two women for the first time with a relatively clear understanding that this is not serious with either woman. However, I don't know how honest I have to be about double dating given I feel it may hurt feelings on either side. I'm having fun, but I don't want to be an rear end either.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 18:59

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

"I'm having fun, but I don't want to be an rear end either."

Too late fucko!

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:01

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

He could just swap to Hubert and go as Hugh or Huey, making both sides happy at once.
Or he could tell his family to gently caress themselves, because that is hands down the shittiest reason to disown someone I've ever heard.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:01

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Sunswipe posted:

Need doesn't even enter into it, there's no way he can. That would be running at the same speed as Usain Bolt doing the 100 meters for two hours. He'd be running two marathons back to back in about the same time as the world record for doing one. Maybe they should just take him to a track and get him to demonstrate this ability.

eta: Bert needs to change his name if he doesn't like it. Compromise by keeping Bert as a middle name, which is what all parents thinking of giving their kid a wacky name should do. My middle name is Wilfred, because my parents wanted to honour my great-grandfather, but didn't want me to get bullied for my name. Make it a middle name and the family is happy and the kid can choose to use it or not when they're older.

Maybe all that poo poo eating gave him super running abilities, hmm?

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:01

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Tythas posted:

I 32M am dating 2 different women 21F, 26F and don't know how open to be about it

What a slimy piece of poo poo. "I've been open and honest about the few minor things I never felt like bringing up (like rawdogging another woman on the side)"

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:09

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

FoolyCharged posted:

He could just swap to Hubert and go as Hugh or Huey, making both sides happy at once.
Or he could tell his family to gently caress themselves, because that is hands down the shittiest reason to disown someone I've ever heard.

Yeah but Hugh is on a similar level of lovely lame name as Bert.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:10

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Resting Lich Face posted:

Yeah but Hugh is on a similar level of lovely lame name as Bert.

Hugh take that back! :colbert:

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:13

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 01:49

Tythas: Oct 3, 2013; Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars

My (26M) fiance (25F) told me about her ex's "size" and I feel heartbroken

quote:

My fiance and I have been together for 6 years but recently a discussion came up about ex partners, she revealed that her ex bofriend's "member" was larger than mine. Putting it simply: I'm 6, he is 9.

She said that bigger is better but that she loves me, this just threw me off.

I just feel heartbroken and self conscious.

# ? Apr 25, 2019 19:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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