FELD1 posted:

Look how defensive you get when you get called a racist.

quote:

Literally happened a few minutes ago. Still shaking and crying and laughing a bit.

So it's late night, currently 2:23AM as I write this, and I was feeling horny. Decided to send my girlfriend a dick pic.

Here's the fuckup: I added it to my loving STORY instead of sending it to my girlfriend.

I didn't realise at all.

About half an hour later (a few minutes ago) my best friend DMs me:

REALLYFUCKINGHORNY WTF 😂😂

There it is. My fully erect dick in my hand, with the caption 'hi bb owo x'

I almost loving died. "WHY IS THERE A DICK ON YOUR STORY" My only response to this? Sending 'bruh' with hosed up spelling over and over before I finally head on to my story to delete that mess. Luckily only my best friend saw it, and now we're even since I've seen his too.

In conclusion, r/tifu, I'm feeling a sweet mix of wanting to die with uncontrollably laughing. Don't take your friends for granted, they'll let you know if you accidentally put your dick on your Instagram story. Needless to say I will be buying my friend a pint and serving him with my loving life until this blows over. What a bro.

Edit: I swear the 'owo' was ironic lmao

Edit 2: Please stop asking to see my dick. Jesus Christ.

Edit 3: for those out of touch with social media, a story is something you can post photos/videos on that all your followers/friends can see for 24 hours.

Also, STOP ASKING TO SEE MY DICK. Not happening.

Final Edit: Asked mods to lock and gonna try and find out how to shut my PMs. Thanks for all the replies though guys, a lot of them made me laugh!

TL;DR: Feeling frisky, tried to send girlfriend a dick pic, accidentally sent it to my story and my best friend let me know before anyone else saw.

Barudak posted:

I vociferously agree.

Im just mad at this dude cause like, Ive had people tell me they were happy I was who was moving into the neighborhood cause boomers apparently think "passes white" means "I implicitly am just as racist as you".

tehinternet posted:

I’m turbo white and man, one of my neighbors assumed that I’m a racist like them literally one minute into my first conversation with them. Talking about how they didn’t like our local mall because it had “gotten dark over there.”

I mean, I appreciate it because I knew immediately that they weren’t worth socializing with and they saved me the effort of trying, but goddamn. Must suck to be afraid of everybody who isn’t your color.

Grape posted:

quote:

My gf of 10 months or so just recently told me she’s still legally married but separated from her daughters dad. She’s been married for about 10yrs to him. I’m conflicted as to what I should do. Let me give a bit of a back story.

About 2yrs ago, they were talking about having another child and she was willing to have a second child by him just so their daughter could have a sibling. They’ve known each other since they were in middle school. Her dad took him in when he was young, so they naturally grew close to each other.

I am bothered and I feel that my trust was broken that she waited nearly a year to tell me she was still legally married to him. I feel like this is something that should be disclosed early on when meeting someone. Like “hey I’m married but separated” would have been completely acceptable to me. I also knew deep down there was more to her and it caused me anxiety because she would get too quiet sometimes. I would bring it up, and she would accuse me of making things up in my head. Then she told me and I felt terribly deceived and was made to feel crazy for feeling that there was more.

I asked what her plan was, and she said she wasn’t going to be married to him forever, but it would still be a while. I recently found out that the car she’s driving, he bought for her (recently bought). She claims it’s for “their” daughter. I will note that she does have a good job and could get her own. Additionally she owns her place and doesn’t pay a mortgage. He’s very wealthy and she has their daughter full time, which is straining our relationship too. I want alone time with her but her daughter is always around.

According to her, the plan is for their daughter to be old enough to decide who she wants to live with in court and then file for divorce. Their daughter is 8yrs old.

Additionally she has admitted to, and I will quote her, “great love for him”. I personally have two daughters and although I have respect for my child’s mothers, I do not feel any love. The only reason they’re not together is because he decided that and not her. It wasn’t a mutual split. My feelings are that she’s still hanging on to some part of him. A woman who has a good job, doesn’t pay a mortgage, accepts a car from her “husband” does hurt me.

Furthermore her work schedule is weekend work, and I work M-F. She has her daughter full time, and we haven’t spent a whole day together in over 4 months. I also live 30 miles from her, and since she has her daughter all the time, I have to do most of the driving during week nights and weekend nights. I told her my concerns about her being married, work schedule, and being a full time mom (which I can work with) but her response was “these are things are part of me, and dating me will come with that”. In other words, “tough crap, deal with it”.

She has told me that she wants me to accept her as she is, because she has accepted me and the things I come with, but am I wrong to feel that I shouldn’t accept that she waited almost a year to tell me she’s still legally married? Makes me feel like she’s hiding something. Should I accept that I feel she still loves him? (She said she loves him but is not in love with him). Am I wrong for not accepting those things?

Please, any advice would help, I’m confused as to what I should do. I want to be with her, but I feel like I might be cheating myself. Please share any similar experiences. Thank you.

TLDR; my girlfriend of 10 months just told me she’s married. She kept this from me for what will almost be a year. Should I leave or stay?

tehinternet posted:

I’m turbo white and man, one of my neighbors assumed that I’m a racist like them literally one minute into my first conversation with them. Talking about how they didn’t like our local mall because it had “gotten dark over there.”

I mean, I appreciate it because I knew immediately that they weren’t worth socializing with and they saved me the effort of trying, but goddamn. Must suck to be afraid of everybody who isn’t your color.

FELD1 posted:

I'm a racist too, but I'll admit it freely.

bob dobbs is dead posted:

don't they sell plant-based quorn nuggets

why didnt she buy those instead of cheaping out

quote:

I met my fiancé when I was still an escort. I did that (escorting) for a year since I had never slept around and I had just broken off an engagement to my first boyfriend. I wanted to have a wild year before finding someone to settle down with later on in life. It started off as a very easy going relationship. He'd always talk about how happy he was with his wife and how he'd never leave her, how much he loved his kids etc. I had the impression that we would always be friends with benefits and I loved that. Later on he said he had developed feelings for me and I refused to believe him so I had him prove his commitment to me by investing in our future together. His wife found out about me during this time. They were divorced shortly after.
I can't seem to get over how pathetic I think he is for cheating on the woman that raised his kids. Before it wasn't a big deal because he was just a hookup. But now I live with him and he wants to marry me. I think he's a great man in many ways but I find myself feeling disgusted and annoyed with him more and more and it's always centered around how pathetic and desperate I think he is for having cheated on his wife. I know why he did it, he says 1. it was because they didn't talk about the problems in their relationship (we talk about our feelings and relationship problems whenever they arise), 2. because he didn't feel wanted by his wife anymore because she wouldn't sleep with him and she was always depressed or upset and refused counseling. But even though I "understand" why he did it, I still think he's absolutely repulsive.
I know I'm not martyr but I was going through a strange portion of my life and I was still very young. I realize now that I have affected the life of his ex wife and his kids forever and that is unforgivable but I am not asking for forgiveness, I'm trying to move forward and be less sh*ty of a person. He is much much older and he has destroyed his family and I watched and now I'm supposed to marry him after watching that?? I had no idea what I was getting myself into because when I met him I thought they were separated but still in love. By the time I learned about what his wife was going through, I felt like I also had to be there for him because he felt so guilty and broken. But now that everyone has survived the madness, I'm left feeling like this isn't the Prince Charming I had in mind for myself.
TL;DR Fiance cheated on his wife with me and I'm still not over it, in fact, it's getting worse

Admiralty Flag posted:

My wife and I are both vegetarians and we foster kids. We’ll make the kids (e.g.) hamburgers and have veggie burgers ourselves; kids get bacon with breakfast; etc. But when it comes to chicken nuggets or chicken in a stir-fry or whatever, everyone gets fake chicken because screw waiting for two separate sheets of stuff to bake/making two different stir fry dishes, and not a word is said to the kids about our heinous deception.

So, SA, are my wife and I TAs?

Motronic posted:

My gf [32, F] of 10 months, just told me [32, M] she’s married. Relationships
submitted 26 minutes ago by gnsillyhack10

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

I [25/F] can't get over my fiancé [50/M] cheating on his ex wife with me

Admiralty Flag posted:

My wife and I are both vegetarians and we foster kids. We’ll make the kids (e.g.) hamburgers and have veggie burgers ourselves; kids get bacon with breakfast; etc. But when it comes to chicken nuggets or chicken in a stir-fry or whatever, everyone gets fake chicken because screw waiting for two separate sheets of stuff to bake/making two different stir fry dishes, and not a word is said to the kids about our heinous deception.

So, SA, are my wife and I TAs?

Admiralty Flag posted:

My wife and I are both vegetarians and we foster kids. We’ll make the kids (e.g.) hamburgers and have veggie burgers ourselves; kids get bacon with breakfast; etc. But when it comes to chicken nuggets or chicken in a stir-fry or whatever, everyone gets fake chicken because screw waiting for two separate sheets of stuff to bake/making two different stir fry dishes, and not a word is said to the kids about our heinous deception.

So, SA, are my wife and I TAs?

Admiral Ray posted:

Yes, absolutely. By making fake chicken, you are stealing jobs from hard working chickens that go through months of intense training, education, and the bureaucratic nightmare that is the USDA. Tens of millions of chickens are pinning their hopes and dreams on moments like being turned into a chicken nugget and you are ruthlessly taking that from them.

Admiral Ray posted:

Yes, absolutely. By making fake chicken, you are stealing jobs from hard working chickens that go through months of intense training, education, and the bureaucratic nightmare that is the USDA. Tens of millions of chickens are pinning their hopes and dreams on moments like being turned into a chicken nugget and you are ruthlessly taking that from them.

Clark Nova posted:

It is every chicken's final duty to go into the mcnugget extruder and become one with all the poultry by-product

- Chairman Ronald McDonald,
"Ethics for Tommorow"

Scathach posted:

As much as I love meat, cooking two sets of nuggets is a pain in the rear end and cooking for kids can be a pain anyway. Fake chicken isn't even that bad. NTA

E vegetarians aren't vegans. One can be a healthy diet, one is literally killing people.

Admiralty Flag posted:

My wife and I are both vegetarians and we foster kids. We’ll make the kids (e.g.) hamburgers and have veggie burgers ourselves; kids get bacon with breakfast; etc. But when it comes to chicken nuggets or chicken in a stir-fry or whatever, everyone gets fake chicken because screw waiting for two separate sheets of stuff to bake/making two different stir fry dishes, and not a word is said to the kids about our heinous deception.

So, SA, are my wife and I TAs?

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

When people talk about how vegans are killing themselves and there’s no way it can be a healthy diet are they just unaware that a good percentage of the world is vegan and has been for quite some time?

Baronjutter posted:

Yeah I don't know, almost half the people I know are vegan or almost-vegan depending on definitions (wool is slavery you know) and they're all perfectly healthy active people. Quite a few of them are into hiking week long trails or are gym rats and are in way better shape than my murder-fed rear end.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

When people talk about how vegans are killing themselves and there’s no way it can be a healthy diet are they just unaware that a good percentage of the world is vegan and has been for quite some time?

Baronjutter posted:

Yeah I don't know, almost half the people I know are vegan or almost-vegan depending on definitions (wool is slavery you know) and they're all perfectly healthy active people. Quite a few of them are into hiking week long trails or are gym rats and are in way better shape than my murder-fed rear end.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

But a lot of Indians and other religious groups are traditionally vegan.

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

But a lot of Indians and other religious groups are traditionally vegan.

value-brand cereal posted:

What does this thread of circumsized vegans? Like humans are animals, and by circumsizing the penis havers you are injuring an animal.

Also you think vegans wipe their vegan holes standing up or standing down?

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

Yeah, if you’re talking about the kooky woo-woo version of veganism popular with certain people in the US that think going vegan will magically cure all your ills, then sure they might be killing themselves then. But it’s their own stupidity that’s killing them, not deciding to not eat animal products.

edit: I also didn’t say vegans are a majority of the world because obviously that’s not true. But a lot of Indians and other religious groups are traditionally vegan. Veganism wasn’t started by some dumbass Americans, it’s a perfectly normal diet in a lot of places.

quote:

This may or may not be a big post, it really depends on how much I'm about to rant off because I'm still in flux between angry and defeated. I'm also going to try and keep this as unbiased as possible

For preface, I'm 28 years old, I'm living with my wife who's 22 and two kids, one a toddler and one an infant. We're a close family, and I love them more than anything on this planet. We are a casual goth family, wearing mostly black, some tattoos, but we're not hardcore. We love anything macabre, and idolize the Addams Family. My mother, who feels like an in-law but is by blood what I came out of, has been what you considered as a religious freak. Not the craziest, but she does put God above family a lot, which normally I don't have a problem with, but she easily disregards reason if it conflicts with her beliefs, which is where most of the problem lies. She also has a tendency to voice her opinion a lot when it's not asked for.

Today, I hear my wife's phone go off while we were asleep around 11am EST (I work 2nd shift, so this is about 1 hour before I gotta get up for work). I was half dazed and just went back to bed. For future reference, it was my mother calling, who also called my cell but I had it on DND unless they call the same number twice (which she didn't). About 20 minutes later, I hear a knocking on the living room patio window. I slowly started to realize who that could possibly be, and hear her knocking on the bedroom window (curtains were closed). This was waking up the kids, my wife, and also me. So I get dressed, go to the living room, and let her in to know what was going on since it seemed like an emergency. I should also mention that she moved to my city recently just to be next to my kids, and she lives about 20 minutes away.

The visit was warranted as it had to do with a communication error for my Verizon (I recently transferred my phone line to a new Verizon account instead of my family sharing with her Verizon account). A whopping bill for $500 that shouldn't have happened, which did ended up getting resolved.

Everything was fine until my mother feasted her eyes on my apartment.

For reference, my mother is a clean freak. You could probably officially certify her house as sterile. I never had those standards so sometimes there will be kids toys lingering around, some objects where they're not supposed to be, but my and my wife never leave the apartment cluttered or messy on the floor, we have some standards, just nowhere near as high as hers. My mother begins ranting on about how unclean it is, how filthy it is, how she hasn't raised me right, how she doesn't know where she went wrong, how she should've changed how I grew up. This started as a rant about how there were kids toys and a misplaced baby gym to how I grew up to be someone she did not want nor expect. She basically escalated her rant triple-fold without stopping. At first I was just listening to it, I'm used to it. But then she had to bring in about my upraising, she began bringing in my wife how "she should keep this place clean" (which is not just her responsibility but mine too). And she's doing all of this, the morning, before I work, uninvited, annoying me, shouting loud and waking up the kids.

I cracked.

I'm not stranger to yelling at my mother, nor is she to me. We're Portuguese so we have that Portuguese blood I guess. But this was a step beyond. I shouted at her profanity, which she can't tolerate because she views anything profanity-related to be a great sin, and something I should never use. She slaps me, telling me not to talk to her that way. I slap her, telling her I'm not a loving child. I'm sick of her poo poo, I'm sick of her barging into my life criticizing how I live, how I am, my wife's choices, my choices. I told her to "get the gently caress out or I'm calling the police".

She broke.

She just sat on my couch crying, completely immune to any form of communication, she was just crying a storm. Nothing but crying. She kept praying to God for help, for forgiveness. Lamenting how her child would yell at her, slap her. I didn't know what to do. I felt so many mixed feelings. Anger. Sorrow. Hated. Pain. Disappointment. Agony. It was a roller coaster of negative emotions. I hated seeing my mother cry. I hated my mother. I hated how she couldn't be like other mothers who just respected what their children did. Why couldn't I have a normal mother.

These were all just rushing thoughts going through my head. I ended up calling my father, telling him to pick her up. He was an understanding man, who loved my mother but knew the kind of person she was. He called her and she was just crying non-stop about what happened, being somewhat biased in how she acted, but my father knew better. This is where everything was starting to calm down and we reviewed our relationship as a mother and child.

Peace was made, bitterly, but it was made. I should mention that this situation, though never as extreme as this, has happened before, countless times. It's just that with each time, I get more and more agitated, depending no the circumstances. It's like she forgets about why she should respect my choices, and just rants instead about how she can't sleep because her child is "part of evil things".

Unrelated side rant, but she also called my son, who we named Draven, little "Dra" because apparently the name "Draven" is evil and she refuses to call him by his full name. I think that's utterly ridiculous but that's a story for another time, which actually was already told by my wife on a different subreddit.

I ranted on and on but here's the TL;DR:

Am I an rear end in a top hat for shouting profanity at my mother, being tired of her poo poo, slapping her, and threatening her with police for not getting out of my house? Am I a bad person for hating my mother, and wanting to just cut off communication with her completely? I do feel like one regardless, because it's my mother, who I want to love but I can't because she makes me feel this way. I feel like I'm stuck in a relationship with a mother that I want to have but can't because she'll never accept me for who I really am, and only wants the child I used to be who was nothing more than a great liar just so I could avoid my mother lecturing me and molding me into something I didn't want to be. I feel like I"m being super biased in how I type all of this, but this really is how my mother acts. There are worse mothers out there, but I'm just a mess right now and I don't know what to do, I don't think I can do anything except feel miserable. I don't want to just cut her off completely because she's my mother, imagine how she'll feel. But if I have to deal with this even just once in a while, I'm going to break too.

chitoryu12 posted:

They named their kid Draven? What the gently caress?