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Barudak
May 7, 2007

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

:wtc: how is that guy's wife making money by just posting pictures? does Instagram pay you for having followers?

10,000 followers is usual minimum cut off to get paid money/given limited free stuff. At 25,000 shes actually doing absurdly absurdly well for "spends 30 minutes a day on this" and could get some ok money and perks depending on niche. 100,000 followers is usually around where you can make enough to consider making it your full time lowish-paying job

Barudak fucked around with this message at 06:11 on May 3, 2019

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QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

The White Dragon posted:

otoh he talked to the police... that's bad mojo. this guy's actions are karmically neutral

Nah it is cool and good to report colossal assholes to the police, that other dude deserves a billion fascist knees on his neck

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

okay this is DEFINITELY a script in development:

My apartments are full of felony-convicted sex offenders. Most of them are violent. I wasn't informed before move in. Could I break the lease?

That's a normal apartment complex in Arizona

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

Barudak posted:

Yeah i got to that part and was like, uh, yeah I think he can afford to dick around coaching baseball.

Hell he might be able to buy a position at a decent highschool or ho-hum college.

Are dog heelies really that profitable?

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

How do I (30M) get excited about seeking out women?


(...)

I've only been in one serious relationship (~2.5 years) which ended seven years ago with a woman who had issues with depression. I felt that the best way out was to "wait it out" and have her breakup with me, but she used me as a scapegoat for her issues

Even odds that this paragraph actually means "I was an emotionally neglectful partner and got called on it," especially given the esports thing.

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

therobit posted:

Why the hell is an 8 year old still sharing a bed with his parents?

The sub decided that it was fine for a 30 year old to sleep in the same bed as their parents.

DeadMansSuspenders
Jan 10, 2012

I wanna be your left hand man

I'm (24/F) embarrassed about revealing my condition to men I'm dating.

quote:

Hi all,

So this mightn't seem like a big deal to most but for me, if I was granted one wish, I would wish to banish this condition.

My hands get very very sweaty when I'm too warm, nervous, when I'm paranoid, and worst of all, they sweat when my brain knows that I need them to be dry for just 10 seconds mins eg. if I'm about to go for an interview and will have to shake someones hand, if I'm being introduced to someone new etc.

It really bothers me when I'm dating because I'm always self conscious of it when a guy might reach for my hand, or see me wiping my hands in my skirt or pants. It bugs me so much because, despite all that, I'm a very pretty girl. I've had this condition since I was a child, my sister had it too growing up but she has since grown out of it. WHY HAVEN'T I??? Any medication anyone can recommend or foods and stuff I could eat?

tl;dr My hands sweat all the time and I'm super embarrassed by it

To add, no I haven't gone to see a doctor,I have tried creams and various hand techniques that I have read up about online but nothing has worked. I generally just have grown to deal with it but now that I'm older I find it more embarrassing than when I was 19/20.

To add, Thank you all for your comments. I guess it's not something I should let take over my life but it's just the little things that really make me feel so self conscious eg. On the train into work this morning, a packed train, at rush hour, very warm as you can imagine..I was holding a pole on the train as I was standing and the sweat was literally running down the pole in droplets, how attractive. Or even when I'm in work and it's warm and I have to write something or other, the page gets wet by my hand. I dealt with it in school because my friends knew and were used to it, I was able to hide it in Uni, but now I'm a professional, working in the city and meeting new people all the time, it's quite degrading to think that someone would remember meeting me because of my 'sweaty handshake'.

I'll take up on a lot of your recommendations tho! Thanks a million 😊
Got a little spoiler crazy on this one.

DeadMansSuspenders fucked around with this message at 07:58 on May 3, 2019

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

DreamingofRoses posted:

Let me put it this way: was it lovely for her to say it in that manner? Yes.

However: she had just gotten what appeared to be this stellar HR job after just finishing her MBA, a job she was presumably proud of and excited about. Then this whole party thing goes down. I bet you dollars to donuts that she was talking herself out of being suspicious about the event because she really wanted this job to be a good one. And then what happened the day after at work (maybe the boss was drunk).

Oh my god. “Stellar HR job” might be the best username i’ve ever seen on this forum in 13 years.

You’re a poet.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

bell jar posted:

So where are people who leave prison supposed to stay? Just "somewhere else" ?

There's actually places that just house dangerous felons/sex offenders to answer this very question! It's for both this problem and "sex offenders have to live a certain distance away from schools/etc" reasons. There's not a "program" for it to my knowledge, but there are some kind landlords who make it known they'll accept anyone.

Peaceful Anarchy
Sep 18, 2005
sXe
I am the math man.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm (24/F) embarrassed about revealing my condition to men I'm dating.

Got a little spoiler crazy on this one.
You missed one. Also you should have left "I have tried creams and various hand techniques" unspoilered. It's a much better line without context.

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Midnight Voyager posted:

There's actually places that just house dangerous felons/sex offenders to answer this very question! It's for both this problem and "sex offenders have to live a certain distance away from schools/etc" reasons. There's not a "program" for it to my knowledge, but there are some kind landlords who make it known they'll accept anyone.

Was it in the us they have those tiny villages built for sex offenders and pedophiles? I remember watching a video about it but unsure if it was in the us


e: ah yeah it was miracle village in florida

datajugend fucked around with this message at 09:22 on May 3, 2019

realbez
Mar 23, 2005

Fun Shoe

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm (24/F) embarrassed about revealing my condition to men I'm dating.

Got a little spoiler crazy on this one.

Any medication anyone can recommend?? No I haven’t gone to a doctor oh god what should I do????

realbez fucked around with this message at 09:39 on May 3, 2019

CheesyDog
Jul 4, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm (24/F) embarrassed about revealing my condition to men I'm dating.

Got a little spoiler crazy on this one.

destined to be Queen of Handjobs and she's turned her back on the throne

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

CheesyDog posted:

destined to be Queen of Handjobs and she's turned her back on the throne

In one of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books there’s a minor character who’s actually a rain god, but doesn’t realize it, and thinks it’s just a coincidence that it’s always raining wherever he is. This woman is the Wet Hands Goddess and her cult has not yet been founded.

Switchback
Jul 23, 2001

Bronze Fonz posted:

You don't carry your home key with you when you walk out of home?

No, our lock is actually broken so we put a rock in front of the door to hold it shut. Even if I had a key, it doesn’t work so I’m hosed if the door gets locked.

But I would never take my preference for unlocked doors with me as a guest in someone else’s house somewhere else, I would trust them to reasonably assess if their own door should be locked or not. When you are a guest, respect the hosts rules. Sorry that makes me a “snob.”

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
She literally said that when she was twelve a friend's father was murdered by a home invader and apparently that isn't enough both for her in-laws and some people in this thread. A duty of a host is to make sure guests feel safe and secure.

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

Antivehicular posted:

Man. I never thought about the logistics of it before, but if you have a felon-okay apartment complex the appropriate distance from schools, you've cornered the market on sex-offender housing.

There was a podcast episode that talked about the problems sex offenders have finding homes. They focused on Miami, and found that due to the restrictions on where they can live a huge number of offenders were spending their nights in a car park because it was one of the few places that didn't have any schools within a certain distance. One dude had enough money to buy a home, but spent years bouncing between rental properties and cars before a place became available in the tiny portion of the city where he was allowed to live.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Switchback posted:

No, our lock is actually broken so we put a rock in front of the door to hold it shut. Even if I had a key, it doesn’t work so I’m hosed if the door gets locked.

But I would never take my preference for unlocked doors with me as a guest in someone else’s house somewhere else, I would trust them to reasonably assess if their own door should be locked or not. When you are a guest, respect the hosts rules. Sorry that makes me a “snob.”

Why do you frame this as a "preference" for unlocked doors, if you're staying in a hotel with auto-locking doors do you prop the door open to ensure that it remains unlocked?

I originally thought you just didn't care enough to lock your door, which is pretty dumb but not outrageously stupid, yet then it seems like you'd get mad at someone for locking your front door while you are both in the house and I find that utterly bizarre. Lo and behold you actually don't have a working lock at home, just a doorstop lol

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky
My (F/25) boyfriend (M/24) has a small penis and I can’t deal with it. Am I shallow?

quote:

My bf and I are together for about a year now. He’s everything I like in a man: smart, funny, athletic, sweet and has good social skills. But, as you can read in the title, his penis is small. Like really small. Of course I haven’t measured it, but to me it seems like a micropenis.

I only had a few sex partners before him, and looking back they were all well-endowed. Or at least average sized. I never realised how it would be to have sex with someone that is less fortunate. But when my bf and I had sex for the first time - a few months after we met - I was shocked. The setting was really romantic and everything seemed perfect for our first time together. But from the moment I felt in his pants, I couldn’t enjoy it. On top of it he whispered “you make me so hard” and I didn’t even realise it was fully erect yet. I went numb and we did have sex, but I didn’t feel anything. I felt extremely sad, because he really tried to make it a special first time, but I just couldn’t enjoy it. I faked my pleasure out of pity.

After this first time I told myself to man up. So I had sex with him on a regular basis, only to find out that it bothered me more and more. He’s good in oral and ok’ish with his fingers, but the size of his penis is a let down everytime. It doesn’t get me in the mood, and the thought of faking pleasure makes me nervous. I also really hate going down on him. Trying to avoid that as much as possible.

I still don’t want to give up the relationship though, cause as I told I think he’s the perfect guy for me. If it isn’t for the sex, we have so much fun and I feel definitely a romantic connection (so being just friends would not be the solution). If only he had an average sized dick, I would be so so happy. Doesn’t have to be big, but just big enough that it could turn me on. He now starts to notice that I’m avoiding sex, cause he made a comment recently about my low libido.

I have no idea how to tell him what’s bothering me though. I don’t have the feeling it’s a problem for him. He never said something about it at least. I did a bit of research online, and everywhere I read that it’s absolutely NOT ok to bring this issue up. But what do I do then? Is there even anything I can do? Something that doesn’t include toys, cause I’m not into that.

Sorry if there are grammar mistakes, English isn’t my native language.

quote:

If you were shallow a small penis would fit perfectly

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Cynic Jester posted:

My (F/25) boyfriend (M/24) has a small penis and I can’t deal with it. Am I shallow?

quote:

If you were shallow a small penis would fit perfectly

:eyepop:

e: lol at trying to get over a complete loss of sexual attraction, as though that wasn't one of the key components of a healthy relationship

QuarkJets fucked around with this message at 11:27 on May 3, 2019

Cyks
Mar 17, 2008

The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

Cynic Jester posted:

My (F/25) boyfriend (M/24) has a small penis and I can’t deal with it. Am I shallow?

quote:

4 inches is not a micropenis. That is a completely normal size.

Elliot Rodger posting from beyond the grave.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Crocodile Dundee but instead of knives its micropenises

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Fellating a micropenis seems like it'd be fun and relaxing. I guess she's just into getting choked?

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

okay this is DEFINITELY a script in development:

My apartments are full of felony-convicted sex offenders. Most of them are violent. I wasn't informed before move in. Could I break the lease?

Hi all,

I live in Arizona. As the title states, I learned that most of my neighbors are sex offenders last night. I knew the guy I share one wall with had been to prison, but I didn't know what for. We're on friendly enough terms that I asked, and he admitted that he had raped his siblings and went to prison for 5 years. I must have looked a bit upset, because he gestured to the other neighbors I share a wall with and told me that those guys were a sex offenders too, as well as the one (especially creepy!) neighbor that sometimes takes the same bus as me.

Now, I'm the newest person to these units. And I was shocked--I had talked to the landlord at length, and she seemed really nice and reasonable. She knew I was going to be living here alone. I'm 24 years old, but I'm only 4"11. I walk my dogs by myself every day, twice a day. I'm in a very vulnerable position.

The ad for these apartments did say they were okay with renting to people with evictions and felonies. That's why I ended up here. I'm not a felon, but I have an eviction on my record from a couple years ago, and my credit score is atrocious. So I knew that they weren't going to be perfect apartments, but when I thought "felonies" I was thinking drug offenses, battery, theft. Not "violent rapists of 12 year old girls" (I did look it up. That's one of the ones I share a wall with. I'm unit 6, he's unit 7)

From what I've found online, it doesn't look like this is something they legally have to let you know beforehand. That said, I already have PTSD from--you guessed it--a violent sexual encounter with a family member when I was around 9 years old. I've been in therapy for it for years, and that's ironically why one of my dogs is an ESA.

I've been nauseous and upset since that conversation. I'm wondering if I can leave, or if I can sue for emotional distress or something, because I have an already-established psychological issue with this situation.

Sounds like they already did let you know beforehand. Did you think renting to people with felonies meant, "except rape?"

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

MightyJoe36 posted:

Sounds like they already did let you know beforehand. Did you think renting to people with felonies meant, "except rape?"

She says in the post what she thought it meant:

quote:

but when I thought "felonies" I was thinking drug offenses, battery, theft. Not "violent rapists of 12 year old girls"

Twelve Batmans
Dec 24, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
"Pedophile village? Sorry ma'am, this is ephebophile village."

Cynic Jester
Apr 11, 2009

Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

Twelve Batmans posted:

"Pedophile village? Sorry ma'am, this is Epheboville."

Twelve Batmans
Dec 24, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Oh take me down to Ephebophile City where you can argue its okay to creep on 14 year-old titties.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках

Midnight Voyager posted:

There's actually places that just house dangerous felons/sex offenders to answer this very question! It's for both this problem and "sex offenders have to live a certain distance away from schools/etc" reasons. There's not a "program" for it to my knowledge, but there are some kind landlords who make it known they'll accept anyone.

As much as I understand the reasoning, it feels like double jeopardy. If someone is enough of a threat to reoffend that they can't be allowed to exist in a society that contains children, there is a place for them, and it is jail.

We should at least be running some sort of inpatient rehab program for these sort of offenders if we're that worried about it as a society.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Liquid Communism posted:

As much as I understand the reasoning, it feels like double jeopardy. If someone is enough of a threat to reoffend that they can't be allowed to exist in a society that contains children, there is a place for them, and it is jail.

We should at least be running some sort of inpatient rehab program for these sort of offenders if we're that worried about it as a society.

Ah, I see you don't understand the American 'justice' system

Twelve Batmans
Dec 24, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Ah, I see you don't understand the American 'justice' system

I see someone wants the Norwegian "justice" system where you let someone kill 30 people and then they get to complain about the Playstation 2 in their cell.

I'm kidding lol. American justice is trash and we treat pretty much any type of person with a record like sub-humans. The death penalty is garbage and puts the blood of that person directly on the hands of every citizen who is okay with it.

Moon Slayer
Jun 19, 2007

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I'm (24/F) embarrassed about revealing my condition to men I'm dating.

Got a little spoiler crazy on this one.

Hyperhidrosis is easily treatable/controllable with oral medications and Botox injections into the affected areas, and insurance should cover said treatments because they are medically indicated.

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Who doesn't love a woman who gets uncontrollably wet?

Darkrenown
Jul 18, 2012
please give me anything to talk about besides the fact that democrats are allowing millions of americans to be evicted from their homes

Anne Whateley posted:

To be clear, the reason I haven't said no is that they haven't asked me. If they asked me or did anything that obviously pointed to a threesome or anything else sexual, I would have zero problem saying a clear no. Currently they're doing friendly friend things, which could be plausible deniability or feeling me out or just, you know, being friends. It's not a good idea to announce to friends, "by the way, I wouldn't gently caress you, just so you know."

Curious how you think it ties in. Should I preemptively email my boss "looking forward to the next celebration dinner, btw I won't gently caress you"? If I don't, am I asking for it and/or leading him on?

The context of the story was "Woman doesn't realise couple are trying to get her in a threesome". You popped in to say something along the lines of "I was in a similar situation with my boss and a coworker and it was not about sex, so it's silly to worry about!" which I found odd when you had just been talking about being uncomfortable about a couple trying to get you in a threesome. Like you're dismissing that such a thing could happen while also posting about a very similar thing happening to you.

JFairfax posted:

Who doesn't love a woman who gets uncontrollably wet?

It's just pee.

blackmet
Aug 5, 2006

I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

Beachcomber posted:

Diane Keaton is slightly too old for this mid budget comedy film, and I can't think of anyone else.

Cameron Diaz in the Diane Keaton older wife role.
Jessica Alba as the athletic somewhat younger 2nd wife.
Mila Kunis as woman #3.
Diane Keaton as the shared divorce lawyer.
Patrick Brammall as blandly handsome but cheating husband.

When Women Come Together! Coming soon to a theater near you!

Soundtrack includes new songs by Natasha Bedingfield, Mya, and Paula Cole.

ad090
Oct 4, 2013

claws for alarm
My [29m] girlfriend [24f] tried to throw me under the bus when the police searched my house

quote:

First I'd like to start with some background. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year. She stays at my house about 75% of the time. We have had no major problems before this point.

On Saturday night, we were watching TV in the living room, and suddenly there was loud pounding and shouting at the front door. My immediate reaction was to call the police, but after a look out the curtains, I found that it was the police.

At this point I was extremely confused. I don't sell, manufacture, or use drugs. I have no firearms in the house. I do nothing illegal online; I don't even pirate Game of Thrones. I had no idea why they might have reason to be knocking on my door on a Saturday night.

I opened the door and they immediately asked for permission to search the premises. I asked why they would think that was necessary, and they wouldn't answer. In turn, I refused to give them permission. My girlfriend repeatedly said I should cooperate. I said no, and told them to show me a warrant if they want to enter the house. They then informed me that they had probable cause and were searching my place no matter what I thought about the situation, and that their asking was only a formality.

The first thing they did after entering my house was pull my girlfriend and I into separate rooms and begin questioning us. I kept demanding they show me a warrant, but apparently warrants aren't even a thing anymore because probable cause can be literally anything when your local PD is backwater and lovely enough.

I refused to answer any questions. I told them I wanted a lawyer if I was under arrest. I repeated that I did not consent to any searches of my property and repeatedly asked what their probable cause was--that there was nothing readily apparent (thank you Breaking Bad), and that they had no right to strip me of my privacy.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, talked a lot. I didn't hear much because she was in the next room but I overheard her say this:

You should check the back yard shed! I've never been in there before and I can't say what's in it...

At the time I could only think "what the gently caress is she doing?" Well, the police checked the shed, and found nothing (again, I'm not a criminal), and an hour + hundreds of questions later left. At that point I asked why in the world she would try to help them find criminal activity in my house, and she could only answer that she panicked and didn't know what to do.

I don't need legal advice. My mother is a paralegal and knows a lot of good attorneys. She's furious about the police conduct, and she doesn't even know what my girlfriend said to them yet. I'm incredibly angry at my girlfriend for saying something so unbelievably moronic, but all she can respond to me with is "I panicked and didn't know what to do." What I need more than anything is another perspective on why a person would throw their S/O under the bus like that.

Does this seem like something that can be worked through, or is this just a huge red flag?

tl;dr cops searched my house without a warrant, and during the search, girlfriend seemingly tried to incriminate me with a random tip

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

ad090 posted:

My [29m] girlfriend [24f] tried to throw me under the bus when the police searched my house

Well done standing your ground, now take that spine and use it to get rid of the collaborator!

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy

Antivehicular posted:

Fellating a micropenis seems like it'd be fun and relaxing. I guess she's just into getting choked?

Yeah it's great it's like a toothpick after a nice meal.

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




ad090 posted:

My [29m] girlfriend [24f] tried to throw me under the bus when the police searched my house

PSA: don't ever open your door to the police. speak to them through the door.

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Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
There's a local reporter who used to be in commercials for a dermatologist, doing hand modeling of her formerly sweaty hands. I remember seeing the ads over urinals in a bar, which was bizarre on another level. I never saw the commercials, but my friends like to quote it when they see her on TV. So I can understand how being a sweaty-handed woman is stigmatized in our society.

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