/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Am I [30F] too uptight about my husband's [31M] distaste for doing things the "normal" way?

quote:

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years, together for many years before that. No kids yet, and overall we have a good relationship. We usually communicate and resolve conflict well, but there is one area where we don't.

I'm at a bit of a loss how to put this pattern into words, but will try my best. I feel like this makes me sound like such a judgmental b-word, but sometimes Mike will get set on doing things "his" way, and I feel like "his" way sucks. Ok hear me out. I am generally completely fine with people doing things in the way that works best for them, even if it's not how I would do it. The thing is, I think that sometimes he gets so stuck on figuring things out himself and not doing it conventionally, that he gets kind of blind to the fact that the way he's doing it is not working. Now this is fine when it's just his own hobbies or whatever. But when it's a project for our house or an activity we're sharing together, it gets frustrating.

I don't consider myself someone who is particularly bound by tradition or the "correct" way of doing things in general, but with Mike I often wish that he would look up the "normal" way to do something and then riff from there, rather than just making up his own thing.

The other aspect to this is that I am usually pretty tentative/open about my methods for things, frequently asking other people "how should we approach this?" The only time that I will confidently suggest a way to do something is if I have researched it or have extensive experience with it. But whenever I say something like "I think it goes like this", he will act like I just made it up on the spot (like he does) and treats it as "just my opinion" on equal grounds to his opinion. Like I know that everyone is entitled to their own viewpoint, but I swear sometimes he just makes up counterpoints for the sake of having an "equally valid opinion." About stupid stuff like driving laws that are easily referencable, things my doctor told me about my health, etc.

So my question is two-fold: (1) Do I just need to lighten up about this stuff or does it make sense that this bothers me? And (2) how to approach this issue with him?

Examples:

Cardboard recycling (lol): His parents never recycled paper products. When we moved in together, he decided that the way to recycle large cardboard boxes was to cut them into 2-inch wide strips with a small pocket knife and pour them into the same bags that other paper goes into. I told him, "I'm pretty sure we can just collapse the boxes and tie them in a bundle." He tells me that I'm wrong, and the garbage collecters would never pick them up if we just left them out on the street like that. I download our city's recycling instructions, and show them to him. I also show him other cardboard bundles on the street on garbage day. He doesn't care, he says he likes doing it his way. Ok fine, not the end of the world. But now whenever we're getting chores done, he has to spend 30+ minutes cutting up the boxes, which takes forever and ruins his knife, and he lets boxes stack up on top of each other in the kitchen until he gets around to disposing of them his way.

Tree pruning: We had a small pine tree growing next to our house. Some of the branches (just a few at the very top) were hitting an electrical wire and he asked me if I'd mind if he trimmed them, to which I said ok. He ended up cutting ALL the branches off the tree (all of them, it's a trunk with NO branches on it), leaving them all over the yard. So now we had a dead, awful-looking tree right in front of our house, plus branches all over. I asked him if next time he could please do some quick research into how to prune branches away from electrical lines so we could see how much of the tree we could keep. And he basically said, "no I like doing it this way." I also INSISTED that he not leave the branches lying all over our front yard (this has also been a pattern- he'll do an optional project and then leave a big mess for weeks/months). And I told him, our town's yard waste guidelines say you can just tie them up into bundles and leave them on the sidewalk on pick-up day, you can just do that really quick. Well just like the cardboard, he at first insisted on cutting up the branches into tiny pieces so they fit in the yardwaste bags where we put grass clippings, etc. After like an hour of doing this he has barely made a dent, and I ended up asking him in a pretty frustrated tone, "Can you PLEASE just tie them up, so we can move on to the other things we have to do today?" He did, but was pissed about it. This happens a lot, where I feel like on the one hand, if I want something done a particular way I should do it myself, and on the other hand, I resent the idea of stepping in and cleaning up a mess that he left doing a "home improvement" project that wasn't helpful.

Cooking rice. He insists on never following the directions on the package. Which is fine if the rice comes out good. Well, he adds way more water than it calls for and frequently takes the lid off while cooking and then always complains that the rice comes out too soupy. So (only when he is complaining), I say "Well why don't you try following the directions?" Which he usually dismisses away by either saying that his way works sometimes (it does, to be fair), or just saying nothing and getting huffy.

Painting: We were painting some wood pieces for a DIY project. He was roughly dragging the brush back and forth with too little paint, and commented in frustration that his brush was losing too many bristles, cursing it as a cheap, awful brush, etc. I commented that if he paints a little smoother in one direction he wouldn't lose as many bristles. He said "no that's not how I do it." I noticed at that point that the part he was painting had a lot of bare spots with wood showing through, and that he was actually roughing up the surface of the wood. I asked him if we could talk about our methods so we can make sure we're getting the look we want, and he said he just wanted to do his half his way while I do my half my way. When I was like, "no, this is getting permanently installed in our living room and I think we should have a plan so it doesn't look crappy" he said his way is better and I should leave him alone. I reminded him that this was how my contractor friend had shown me how to use house paint (whereas Mike has never painted anything like this before, which I did not mention). We eventually got through it and we touched up the bare spots and removed the bristles he lost. Afterward he was all huffy and his eyes were a little misty. I asked if he was mad and he said that he just thought I was painting the wrong way and doesn't see why we couldn't do it his way.

Now, he's aware that he does things unconventionally and that it often doesn't turn out well. When he is in a good mood, he makes jokes about it, like he'll say "hey, you want me to do [xyz thing]? Don't worry I'll do it the real way and not Mike Way." And we have talked about this numerous times. I will explain that he can do whatever he wants for things that don't directly affect me. And he does have a VERY unconventionally laid out music room, and his smart phone has ALL internet functions turned off, and he folds his laundry and organizes his belongings Mike Way. All of this makes no sense to me but doesn't bother me. He also will go on experimental journeys where he'll just Mike his way through a craft, like for example he was making furniture for a couple years, and he readily admitted that some of his earlier pieces were pretty "wack." Some of them turned out pretty cool and we use them, and I do think it's neat that he explored this on his own.

However we keep running into this on house projects, major purchases, etc. that have consequences for me. I find myself asking time and again for him to look up how something is done before he jumps into it - not even to follow the directions per se, but just to be AWARE of them and make his decisions with that knowledge. When he is in a certain mood he gets very defensive about it. I constantly feel like I have to nag him or be a controlling harpy, which I certainly do not enjoy doing. I also end up citing sources and over-explaining so many things that I feel would be obvious for most people. (Like why I want to have branches on the trees in our yard.) So I would like some input on if I am being too uptight and need to share the reins a bit more, or if it's reasonable to take issue with this, and if so, how else to address it?

TL;DR: Husband likes making things up as he goes, I like looking up standard methods before jumping in. We both mind our own business for personal things, but butt heads in situations where the results affect us both. Do I need to lighten up? How to approach him (again) about this?

# ? May 3, 2019 18:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 07:25

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

datajugend posted:

Maybe she should stop thinking to herself about how they should help her and actually ask for help first

Yeah I'm curious if she's asked for help and received none.

I've known a few people in situations where they claim their familiess don't help them, but it's more like they said no to some things but said yes to plenty of others.

# ? May 3, 2019 18:10

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Beachcomber posted:

Am I [30F] too uptight about my husband's [31M] distaste for doing things the "normal" way?

What was so appealing about this dipshit to make him worth marrying?

# ? May 3, 2019 18:10

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

wilderthanmild posted:

Yeah I'm curious if she's asked for help and received none.

if that was the case she would definitely have put it in the post. to me it reads like a late night post being bitter about her spoiled younger sisters

swallow that pride and reach out for help

# ? May 3, 2019 18:15

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

datajugend posted:

if that was the case she would definitely have put it in the post. to me it reads like a late night post being bitter about her spoiled younger sisters

swallow that pride and reach out for help

It's the case... Well sorta

Reddit thread OP posted:

They are both RNs and make great money, and I've asked but my mom says he makes these big purchases. She'll give me a small amount every now and then, but nothing like what they get in "toys".

So she's mad because she gets help but not as much as the teenage younger siblings.

# ? May 3, 2019 18:36

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

therobit posted:

That's been a thing for a while. When my grandfather died 16 years ago there was nobody left at his farm and the sherriff advised us not to print an obituary due to the likelihood burglary at a vacant property.

I'm not surprised but I'll admit that I only learned of it a few years ago. Some neighbors had a funeral for their grandpa and when they came home someone had stolen their washer,dryer, motorcycle and its title.

# ? May 3, 2019 18:37

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I can understand being bitter about it. She needs to get over it, but seeing your mother and step dad spend much more on your younger siblings than you received would sting. Still, she's an adult now, and if she receives some help from her mother, then that's more than many struggling people get.

# ? May 3, 2019 18:38

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

wilderthanmild posted:

It's the case... Well sorta

So she's mad because she gets help but not as much as the teenage younger siblings.

huh missed that part, my bad

# ? May 3, 2019 18:38

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Pinecone Sample posted:

My post that destroying the Hitler painting had been a good act was removed for "encouraging violence"

Reddit mods are literally Nazis

i got banned for the same reason for telling op to punch someone in the dick

# ? May 3, 2019 18:47

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Beachcomber posted:

Am I [30F] too uptight about my husband's [31M] distaste for doing things the "normal" way?

Why would you ever even marry someone like this?

# ? May 3, 2019 19:02

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for wanting to buy a new car even tho my GF is furious about it?

quote:

English is not my frist language, so I apologize in advance.

To start off, I recently bought a car (august 2018) and have had it since then. It's a decent car, drives well, nice tech and decent fuel economy but doesn't have the "power" of a car with a turbo (it's a Mazda 3 2.0 120hp naturally aspirated).

I'm a spontanious person by nature and I do and buy stuff off the bat when ever I feel like it (mostly minor stuff) and I normally dont ask permission from anyone. Sometimes I buy stupid poo poo, but I don't ask anyone for help financially because it's my own fault if I do.

When I bought the Mazda I did it way to rushed and didn't really think much about it. I didn't research anything about Mazda og asked anyone for guidance. I just bought it.. Done deal.

The last 4-5 months I've had bad feeling about the car not in a sense that the car is bad or is breaking or anything, but because it wasn't the car for me. This time i've done a whole lot of research and I've found a new car I want. It's within my financial limits (tight but manageable) and I REALLY want this one.

My GF is not good with spontanious things in general. She likes things being planned ahead of time etc. I presented her with my idea and we had a rather "hefty" argument about our future etc. She thinks that we wount be able to do anything in our spare time becuase the car would cost to much monthly.

I'm thinking on buying it anyway once the right deal presents itself. AITA for wanting to buy something that would, objectivly, make me happy?

I apologize if the story is incoherrent. Please ask for more INFO is its insufficient.

EDIT: We do not share finances other than rent, food and household items etc.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:02

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

Hellblazer187 posted:

I can understand being bitter about it. She needs to get over it, but seeing your mother and step dad spend much more on your younger siblings than you received would sting. Still, she's an adult now, and if she receives some help from her mother, then that's more than many struggling people get.

I'm curious how much more. I mean paying her entire rent or food expenses might even seem small compared to apparently buying the one sibling 2 horses. Horses are insanely expensive money pits, so maybe she expects them to buy her a house?

I wonder why she even bothers to mention the dog and school. She only needed to mention the animal whose price ranges from that of a car to that of a jet aircraft.

Edit: not to say being a little bitter is wrong. It would suck being raised on a normal or sparse lifestyle and then seeing younger siblings grow up like wealthy people.

wilderthanmild fucked around with this message at 19:06 on May 3, 2019

# ? May 3, 2019 19:03

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

Pinecone Sample posted:

My post that destroying the Hitler painting had been a good act was removed for "encouraging violence"

Reddit mods are literally Nazis

hahaha

# ? May 3, 2019 19:06

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

Fallom posted:

What was so appealing about this dipshit to make him worth marrying?

the way he fucks is idiosyncratic & wonderful? Idk if sex is mentioned as being bad in that post, it was way too long to read past the cardboard thing

# ? May 3, 2019 19:08

Failson: Sep 2, 2018; Fun Shoe

ad090 posted:

AITA for wanting to buy a new car even tho my GF is furious about it?

Yes, yes you are, and very stupid too.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:10

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Why would you ever even marry someone like this?

i always feel like situations like this (ex.: reddit spouse who asks "partner keeps eating live bees and spitting them at children. AITA for being concerned?") are in a frog in a boiling pot of water scenario. things get progressively weirder until one day you're married to someone who pawned your grandmother's china for bitcoins and collectable he-man figurines

# ? May 3, 2019 19:38

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Fallom posted:

What was so appealing about this dipshit to make him worth marrying?

She was going to "fix" him. Guarantee it.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:39

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

cash crab posted:

i always feel like situations like this (ex.: reddit spouse who asks "partner keeps eating live bees and spitting them at children. AITA for being concerned?") are in a frog in a boiling pot of water scenario. things get progressively weirder until one day you're married to someone who pawned your grandmother's china for bitcoins and collectable he-man figurines

*ahem*

action figures

# ? May 3, 2019 19:40

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

cash crab posted:

i always feel like situations like this (ex.: reddit spouse who asks "partner keeps eating live bees and spitting them at children. AITA for being concerned?") are in a frog in a boiling pot of water scenario. things get progressively weirder until one day you're married to someone who pawned your grandmother's china for bitcoins and collectable he-man figurines

Zaurgs Wife luckily got out.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:40

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Grape posted:

When me and my (Greek) now wife were doing some long distance chats after she went back to her country early on, we did a lot of skyping. I hadn't met her family in person yet.
Anyway I remember one skype call where it sounded like a horrible "call the cops" level domestic dispute or something was going on in the background. She looked calm as can be, but it really sounded kinda scary.
When I asked her what was going, with a carefree expression on she explained that her parents, and aunts, and uncles ...were playing poker downstairs.

So yes indeed, to answer your question Asian girl, this is a cultural barrier lol.

My mom is half Italian. We were talking once when I had a friend over, some mild debate, and at one point he interrupts us and asks us to calm down and stop fighting. This led to both of us turning on him like, "What the gently caress are you talking about? No one's angry or fighting! If we were, you would loving know."

Also, sleep rear end in a top hat and cardboard or whatever rear end in a top hat could be my ex. I say that a lot, but I'm still always surprised at how common some abusive behaviors are. Is there a playbook somewhere, or is it just instinctive, or what?

# ? May 3, 2019 19:45

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

cash crab posted:

i always feel like situations like this (ex.: reddit spouse who asks "partner keeps eating live bees and spitting them at children. AITA for being concerned?") are in a frog in a boiling pot of water scenario. things get progressively weirder until one day you're married to someone who pawned your grandmother's china for bitcoins and collectable he-man figurines

Old china is like the one thing on earth dumber than bitcoin.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:50

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

that's why he's also getting the he-man dolls

# ? May 3, 2019 19:52

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

ZWife was fond of wonder hangers, MLMs, and custom monogrammed chocolates for toddler birthday parties. She was possibly the one person on the planet worse with money than Zaurg. Frankly, they deserved each other.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:53

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

therobit posted:

ZWife was fond of wonder hangers, MLMs, and custom monogrammed chocolates for toddler birthday parties. She was possibly the one person on the planet worse with money than Zaurg. Frankly, they deserved each other.

I've not followed up on ZexWife. But yeah, it sounds like that.

# ? May 3, 2019 19:54

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

My boss has scheduled a company outing at a sex dungeon. I�m one of only three women in the office. I don�t know what to think anymore.

quote:

I work for a small company with about 20 employees.

I�ve been there for a year and so far so good, I haven�t had any problems.

We have a company happy hour every month. Usually it�s at a bad or pizza shop or bowling alley, but this month�s is scheduled at a very popular sex dungeon in our city.

We have been told that if we decide to go we don�t have to �play� and that we can just �view scenes� if we�d like.

Um... what? 😐

There�s no alcohol allowed at this place, so what�s the point? To go have sex with my coworkers?

Someone help me understand. Is this just reality now? California is ridiculous.

Also, the legaladvice sub immediately locked my post. This is REAL.

You're supposed to do a bonding exercise with your coworkers, not a bondage one

# ? May 3, 2019 19:59

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

DemoneeHo posted:

My boss has scheduled a company outing at a sex dungeon. I�m one of only three women in the office. I don�t know what to think anymore.

You're supposed to do a bonding exercise with your coworkers, not a bondage one

Apparently bizarre bondage activities were central �bonding� (cult brainwashing) techniques in the original MLM training regimens prescribed by Holiday Magic, which later became the basis of an investigation.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday_Magic
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leadership_Dynamics

# ? May 3, 2019 20:05

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

And now, two stories about stink men

AITA for not touching bf when he doesn’t shower?

quote:

He goes several days, even a week now without showering. He’s otherwise pretty attractive, but when I know he’s this unclean I just preconsciously am not physically attracted to him. He’s had issues with this for a while because the way the water feels bothers his skin, or something like that. When he does shower and practice hygiene he’s almost physically perfect to me. Otherwise, I just don’t feel it. He feels unappreciated because I’ve not been physically affectionate.

AITA for kicking my gf out of my apartment for discovering my depression routine?

quote:

Throwaway so my friends don't see this on my reddit.
Every once in a while, I get depressed. During this time, I take a weekend, turn off my phone, completely disconnect from the outside world, lock myself in my room, and eat pizza and ice cream while binging a series on Netflix. No idea why but, it makes me feel better.
Fun fact: ice cream makes me fart. A lot. Loud, smelly, gross farts. That's why I don't eat it. However, during these special times, I allow myself to indulge. Since they are my own farts, I don't really mind them. However, since I am locked away in my room, the smell starts to linger. After a day or two, it can be really bad. I literally lay around in a room that smells like fart and pizza. It's not attractive and it's sad but, whatever. Let me live my life.
Recently, I started dating a new girl. I texted her at the start of my weekend that I would be unavailable and I needed two days to myself. No problem. On Saturday, one day into my fiesta, I'm chilling on my bed and she walks through the door. Apparently, she was worried and decided to show up unannounced. Immediately when she walked in, the smell hit her.
She was grossed out and went into the living room. Since I was "caught", I decided to explain - a simplified version of what I wrote above. Then, she started lecturing me about mental health, suggested that I see a therapist, etc. I told her to leave. She did but started crying because she thought I was breaking up with her. At that point, I honestly couldn't handle anymore discussion and wanted her out so I told her I'd text her later but she had to leave. Now she isn't speaking to me.
Am I an rear end in a top hat for feeling a little violated and kicking her out? I obviously need to start locking my doors but, when you tell someone you need space, it should be respected.

# ? May 3, 2019 20:17

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Piell posted:

AITA for kicking my gf out of my apartment for discovering my depression routine?

The occasional slob weekend can be healthy. The situation is sorta funny though.

# ? May 3, 2019 20:23

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Having known a Greek family, constant argumentative yelling is normal. So is alternating between saying that your mother is a saint and then immediately shouting at her for being an idiot over something small and dumb.

Whenever I would visit the Greek family I knew the three brothers would be clustered around the couch with their portable phone just within reach. Every time it rang they would all shout, in unison, "MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM PICKUP THE loving PHOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE."

# ? May 3, 2019 20:28

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Araenna posted:

My mom is half Italian. We were talking once when I had a friend over, some mild debate, and at one point he interrupts us and asks us to calm down and stop fighting. This led to both of us turning on him like, "What the gently caress are you talking about? No one's angry or fighting! If we were, you would loving know."

My wife is a quarter English in ancestry, and as a result looks pretty pale in spite of her country of origin. Hair isn't too dark either. Blue eyes.... but man.
I feel like in America she should walk around with a warning sticker, something to the effect of "WARNING: OBJECT ONLY APPEARS TO BE WHITE GIRL. APPROACH WITH CAUTION. CAN DANCE. WILL BITE. VOLUME MAY INJURE EARS."

# ? May 3, 2019 20:32

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

I took a dive down angry at parents for spoiling younger siblings lady's Reddit history. I feel a little worse for her now since her history shows she's recently divorced and the husband is dodging child support, which sucks. I could see it being a little misdirected to be angry at the parents there, but that's probably a situation where wanting help is something very reasonable.

# ? May 3, 2019 20:33

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Grape posted:

When me and my (Greek) now wife were doing some long distance chats after she went back to her country early on, we did a lot of skyping. I hadn't met her family in person yet.
Anyway I remember one skype call where it sounded like a horrible "call the cops" level domestic dispute or something was going on in the background. She looked calm as can be, but it really sounded kinda scary.
When I asked her what was going on, with a carefree expression on she explained that her parents, and aunts, and uncles ...were playing poker downstairs.

So yes indeed, to answer your question Asian girl, this is a cultural barrier lol.

If it were card-playing yelling going on, the Asian girl would probably totally get it, unless she comes from one of those polite Asian cultures.

# ? May 3, 2019 20:58

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

cumshitter posted:

Having known a Greek family, constant argumentative yelling is normal. So is alternating between saying that your mother is a saint and then immediately shouting at her for being an idiot over something small and dumb.

Whenever I would visit the Greek family I knew the three brothers would be clustered around the couch with their portable phone just within reach. Every time it rang they would all shout, in unison, "MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM PICKUP THE loving PHOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE."

Man I used to think the silent treatment and years of simmering resentment were bad but I'd hang myself to get out of a family like that

# ? May 3, 2019 21:23

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

DemoneeHo posted:

My boss has scheduled a company outing at a sex dungeon. I’m one of only three women in the office. I don’t know what to think anymore.

Well by no means ask your partner for input or you'll never hear the end of it.

# ? May 3, 2019 21:27

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

This one has got to be too stupid to be real, but alas, people have proven themselves to be really loving stupid before

AITA for pulling a prank on my friend by taking his test?

quote:

A few days ago, we took the state tests at my school. It�s split up into 2 sections that you take back to back. All you need to sign in to them is your first name and a code they email to you that you write down.

I finished both my tests in under 40 minutes. As I was sitting there I noticed my friend was on his first test. I saw his code he had written on his notecard, and decided to take his second test for him.

As I was taking the test, I saw him get all confused. I figured he would realize I was doing him a favor, but he couldn�t figure it out. After a few administrators came over I decided to confess that I was pulling a prank.

Me and my friend were pulled into a room where we got yelled at for a while. Today, we had a meeting with school and test officials. It was decided that both our test scores would not be accepted and that we would face school consequences. They said possibly expulsion, but definitely suspension.

Since then my friend has refused to speak to me. We have had a few conversations but they did not go well at all. I really was just trying to do a harmless prank, and did not mean to get him in any trouble.

TLDR: took friends state test for him and got us both in trouble

These "iT wAs JuSt A pRaNk Bro!!!!!1!" defenses are getting inane

# ? May 3, 2019 21:35

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

My Lovely Horse posted:

Well by no means ask your partner for input or you'll never hear the end of it.

Hahahahahaha

Also good luck lady lawyer up. Sorry about your job.

# ? May 3, 2019 21:35

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

DemoneeHo posted:

This one has got to be too stupid to be real, but alas, people have proven themselves to be really loving stupid before

AITA for pulling a prank on my friend by taking his test?

These "iT wAs JuSt A pRaNk Bro!!!!!1!" defenses are getting inane

Like the guy who fed meat to a vegetarian. "It was a joke."

I know you thought it was a joke, but it's actually a bad thing with real consequences.

# ? May 3, 2019 21:59

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

I think that if someone feeds you a SICK PRANK BRO, you have a free pass to vomit on whatever the hell you want, involuntary or not

# ? May 3, 2019 22:07

HMS Beagle: Feb 13, 2009

DemoneeHo posted:

This one has got to be too stupid to be real, but alas, people have proven themselves to be really loving stupid before

AITA for pulling a prank on my friend by taking his test?

These "iT wAs JuSt A pRaNk Bro!!!!!1!" defenses are getting inane

And over in legal advice

quote:

So a few days ago my school decided to take state tests. Basically, it�s split up into two tests that you take back to back. You need a certain number of points to graduate. Before the test, you get emailed a testing code that you need to write down in order to sign into the test.

My friend who was sitting next to me had this written down on a notecard and had it on his desk. I finished both my parts of the test in 20 minutes each, and was going to have to sit there for 2 more hours. However, I noticed my friend was still on the first part of the test.

I decided to try and pull a joke, and sign in to his account and take his second test. You only needed the first name, and the testing code which I could clearly see. I start taking the test and about 10 minutes in I see him get all confused. I thought he would have known I was taking it for him, but I guess he didn�t.

Next, he called over the teachers who got some administrators from the testing people and they were all confused as well, asking him if he did it right. Finally I decide to come clean and say I was just pulling a prank. I was expecting everyone to just laugh it off, but they were really angry.

Me and my friend were pulled into a room where we got yelled for a while. After the testing day was over, they sent us home but scheduled a meeting for earlier today.

At this meeting, it was me, my parents, the principal, a counselor, and a few testing officials. They concluded that they would not accept mine or my friends testing scores. We would also have to face school consequences.

The school says I face expulsion, but definitely suspension. I feel as if all these punishments are unfair. 1) I was already done with my test when I pranked my friend, so my scores should be accepted. 2) It was really just a harmless prank, and I didn�t mean to cause any trouble. 3) It wasn�t even during s school day, but a testing day so I really shouldn�t face any school consequences.

Overall, I plan on taking legal action against the school. Is there any sort of legal action I can take or no? I am almost positive that I can have some sort of case against the school.

# ? May 3, 2019 22:32

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# ? May 15, 2024 07:25

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HMS Beagle posted:

And over in legal advice

drat that's a staggeringly stupid kid considering how quickly he finished his tests.

# ? May 3, 2019 22:36

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