quote:

You’re dating a prostitute. Imagine telling your parents...

OP posted:

But is it prostitution? from what I've been able to read online it's also about company. Like she might see herself as a helpful person providing comfort to those otherwise not getting any interaction.

Leon Einstein posted:

I'm starting an Everquest server. Get in at the ground floor by sending me all your money.

quote:

How can a woman value herself after essentially putting a price tag on herself?

quote:

My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together for 2 years. Last month i found out he cheated on me with an Ex of his. He told me he was just having lunch with her and I found out by his Ex bragging to me on social media. I confronted my boyfriend and we had an argument and he told me he was sorry and promised to not be unfaithful and that I can sleep with another dude to basically even the playing fields.

So last week I talked to his younger brother (19M) and I had to vent to him. Next thing lead to another and I slept with his brother. Now I’m going to tell him who I slept with and see how he feels tonight.

Was I too petty? Because I sure don’t feel like it.

Leon Einstein posted:

Those are Olympic level mental gymnastics to convince himself she's not a prostitute.

quote:

She used to work at a tim hortons when first starting school but now she makes like 300$ a "date" so I guess she's making more. She doesn't think she is doing anything wrong and has told me that it is just Another job. I don't think i see it different either way kind of how I said it's a way to make really good money so even if she has done it what's to stop her from doing it in the future if we are together?

DemoneeHo posted:

My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me so I slept with his Younger Brother and tonight I’m telling him.

DemoneeHo posted:

My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me so I slept with his Younger Brother and tonight I’m telling him.

Power Khan posted:

I[22m] just found out girl I am seeing[21f] has been getting paid for sex

DemoneeHo posted:

My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me so I slept with his Younger Brother and tonight I’m telling him.

CharlestheHammer posted:

What is this decorum bullshit.

People who advocate the higher ground are the dumbest people I swear

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

sex workers need love too


extremely powerful move. if only she'd record the conversation and put it on youtube.


yeah seriously, he's been identified as an enemy, why the gently caress hasn't she carbombed him yet

Dazerbeams posted:

No, you were the perfect amount of petty. Big Pete energy here.

datajugend posted:

yeah potentially ruin a family because one of them was a cheating dick, sounds like greeaaaat revenge, very powerful indeed

quote:

u/suppluxmasorgtfo

My husband has a very large family, in total I think his Father has 8 brothers/sisters. They all got married and had 2-6 children each. Now all their children are grown up and starting families as well. We are looking at easily I believe 15 children in the family as of right now. We all get together for Christmas every year at his Grandparents house... sounds great right? Right.

Normally after Thanksgiving or on Thanksgiving which they also all get together for we pick names for the children's gift swap. There is also a men and women gift swap which my husband and I who do not have children join in on.

Now... to give you and idea of how the gifting has been the last 10 years. Husband and I would buy gifts for his parents, his brother and wife and their 4 kids. Great, awesome. Works fine. Last year they said they would rather we just bought gifts for the kids, so we did. Same thing we'd always gotten them books at their reading level, PJs, and puzzles of some kind. They were upset but we couldn't place why, we also didn't get any gifts at all which we didn't comment on but my Husband admitted he was a bit hurt to get nothing from his parents vs his brother and sister in law getting gifts.

I am not a super social person so I spent most of thanksgiving reading a book and watching one of the youngest cousins sleep. Eventually we all gathered up so the kids could draw names of their cousins for the gift swap. They finished that up and then husband's brother who we'll just call Timmy says "And uncle Husband will buy all the kids a gift too!". Que my husband and I giving him looks of 'da gently caress and gently caress you'. We laughed and said "oh no haha we'll just be bringing the candy again this year.".

His brother then started in that we should buy all of the children gifts since we have none. And that it wasn't very christian of us to not bless the children with our good fortune. My husband at this point pulled him aside into the kitchen and told him he wasn't buy all of the cousins gifts, and if he wanted to he was welcome to. They started to argue and Timmy yelled that we shouldn't come to xmas anymore.

I handed over the baby, we left said we'd email them about it later when they calmed down enough to talk like adults.

I'd just like someone else's view point. My husband is really upset and his parents are agreeing with Timmy that we should be giving more gifts since we have no one to buy them for but kids now, he threw the fact that we get no gifts from anyone at them and they said we were adults now and 'xmas if for kids'. He pointed out they gifted Timmy and his wife things still but they said that 'we'd already bought it, might as well'. But I have been shopping with his Mother and she bought gifts for Timmy's wife Candy again this year already.

I'm frustrated and feel like no one is handling any of this well and i want to step in and help my husband but I want someone else to look at this mess before I do anything other than listen and offer suggestions of using "I feel ____ when you ____" to his parents.

Edit: I have read all the comments and replies to some, I'm out but when I get home I will edit this or reply to comments more, thanks for all the insight.

Edit 2: Replyed to some comments, showed husband thread, send email. Haven't been answering phone calls from them asked them to please just read and reply via email so that we have time to think and respond calmly. Got a lot of nasty voicemails for it. Going to let them simmer some more and keep ignoring their calls since they keep yelling.

quote:

Thanks for everyone who came and tossed in their 2 cents. It was wonderful to hear from other people without having to worry if they would repeat my chatter to the other party involved.

First post link in case you dropped your phone in a toilet.

So... I'm not 100% sure where I should start I am about 3 drinks in just to calm myself. For one I did show my husband the post after we talked. I brought up T-Day2015 and asked him if he wanted some more input than I normally give on his family drama. He said yes, I pointed out the favoritism of his brother over him in almost anything. I made a list showing times when it had happened were they and he were fully in the wrong just to prove the point.

We went over the texts from his brother, SIL, Mother, Father, Aunt and Cousin. Just to recap names...

Brother - Timmy

SIL- Candy

Mother - Rhonda

Father - Keith

Aunt - Kira

Cousin - Ben

Husband - Tod ( this is shorter than husband, I'm lazy.)

So, the day I posted after we went over the texts which started after we missed their call and went up until we sent the email... all just... spiteful poo poo about how we waste our money, time, and life volunteering and don't spend enough time with their children/cousins/cousins children/family anymore. It started out telling Tod he was being a 'candy rear end bitch who is whipped' by his 'cold harpy child hatin wife'. And just degraded from there. Tod only sent back a few saying he'd email him about it and asking him to not talk about me.

So we sent the email here is basically what we sent I semi edited it. Tod send it as if it was just from him, we almost added in his parents but decided we'd just forward it to them if it really got out of hand, NP Timmy did it for him!

Tim, I'm sending you an email so we can talk about what happened on Thanksgiving. I think this would be better for us both since when we are heated we say things rashly. You didn't give me much time to really think about it so here it goes.

I don't understand why you volunteered us to buy gifts. We are happy to buy gifts for your children as we have every year. Is there something going on? Is someone having financial problems? While we would gladly help anyone who asked (As we have before, you should recall Cathy and Kiki 2 years ago. you helped too!) being set up in front of young children was rude. Not to mention you telling us we aren't allowed at Christmas now.

The texts and angry voicemails were also uncalled for.

Please take some time and get back to me. I hope we can work this out as our family is very important to us. Tod

Yes well that went over about as well as water on a grease fire.

For one Timmy forwarded the email to Rhonda and Keith, Kira, and Ben. That was rude but we were going to do the same thing either way. Ben sent us a email letting us know what Timmy did and said he was sorry he wasn't there to jump in but would try and talk to Timmy. Timmy and Ben are actually really close so it was nice to see he thought Timmy was being unreasonable as well since they are normally very close/like minded.

I'm not going to put his email here I'm just going to highlight what he said and then tell you what Keith and Rhonda said in their email/visit.

I am a cold, child hating, harpy, and I sleep around.

I'm an atheist, or a muslim... or something, he never really picked.

I am dragging Tod from the church and his family.

We don't spend any time at all with the family anymore.

We never spend any time with our niblings.

We are wasting our life/time/money volunteering with animals.

Helping/wanting to help refugees was un american and this is my fault since I am a first generation american and don't understand what it means to be one/deserve to live here.

I'm rude and never talk to them unless it's about animal rescue/animal rights

Yeah so... um. At this point we're kinda laughing and kinda crying and kinda shocked. We spent the rest of the day cleaning up our house and talking about what we wanted to do/reply back. We hadn't checked our email and we'd stuck our phones on vibrate and were just trying to enjoy our day off together, they're pretty rare sadly. So suprise! His parents drove all the way out to talk to us.

I say talk, but it was more like being talked at. They asked me to leave so they could talk to Tod about 'his actions/rude email'. Tod said no, said I was his family and his wife and we were handling this together. They then tried to convince us we had said gently caress in front of the family. We didn't. That we had mentioned buying gifts for everyone before. That we didn't love Jesus anymore since we hadn't been going to church. And some of what Timmy has sent in the email too. When his Father started to insult me and then in turn my Father, Tod was done. He stood up and said "Thank you for coming to visit us in our home for the first time but we have errands to run and you need to leave now.". They refused, he told them they had to go, now or he'd have to call the police. They left. He cried, I cried, our cats knocked over their cups.

We ended up calling my Dad and telling him everything as well as showing him both emails. He told us they have before talked poo poo about me/us to him. "You should be able to fix your child still we're still working on ours." was something he told us had been said. We decided we aren't going to their Christmas either way. I told Tod I can't go back there again, nor can I look at any of them the same again. I knew they'd always not liked me as much as some of the other daughter in laws but I didn't know it was to that extent. They have always been nice and polite to my face. Invited and included me in all events. No one had ever said anything to Tod either.

As it stands I'm waiting for my Dad and brother to get into town and then we're going to sit down and decide what we would like to do. Tod said he just wants it to be small and doesn't mind where Christmas happens and said he felt closer to my Dad and brother anyway.

We told Ben what happened and shipped his gift to him. I haven't decided yet what I will do with the niblings gifts but I already donated all of the adult gifts.

TLDR I suck, Tod is pussy whipped bitch, we are blind, gently caress it. All hail the red squiggle for making this spelling look less stupid.

Edit TLDR: Sent email, got email back. Email sent around. Parents showed up, BS , all my fault, we aren't going to xmas or talking to them until after holidays are over.

I'd also like to add I am not of another ethnicity. My father is German and moved to the US when he was 20 to marry my Mother. So I'm a pasty white chick but I guess since my Dad isn't american dats bad.

kimbo305 posted:

I think both brothers would be cheating dicks by the end of it...

Vim Fuego posted:

Power Khan posted:

I[22m] just found out girl I am seeing[21f] has been getting paid for sex
Throwaway cause we met on reddit.

I have been seeing this girl for about 1 month now and everything is going great. However, she confessed to me last night that since her sophomore year she has been paying for college by meeting men on the internet through pages like backdoor/ seeking arrangements that pay her for sex.

I am not sure how to deal with this Info. I really like her but I am confused. I figured reddit might be able to give me valuable insight and differing views. I was raised in a very strict Muslim family that I have broken away from but some views still hold true.

Some of my concerns are Isn't this illegal? How can a woman value herself after essentially putting a price tag on herself? I feel like this goes to show women are resource driven and what if I don't have enough money to support her ? Sex seems like just a job and I can't help but imagine her being with other men when we get intimate. What about STD/STIs she seems to trust these strangers don't have any diseases cause they promise her they are clean but dont provide any proof.

I'm sorry if this seems rambling but I am seeing her again tonight and I am trying to figure out how to approach this.

Baronjutter posted:

My friend has a violent autistic son. The only reason he's not on the street is because he's a minor at the moment. He's gotten addicted to a bunch of drugs, robs people at knife-point, is extremely easily manipulated by his drug-dealer friends. The state though cares deeply about his dignity and freedom so the moment he's an adult he'll be dumped onto the street to become a violent mentally ill street addict that will live the rest of his life in and out of jail while we can hope he doesn't kill or hurt anyone.

An actually properly funded mental health system would be fantastic, but that costs money and the people who don't want to spend that money have pretty successfully marketed the meme that all involuntary hospitalization is non-stop lobotomies and shock therapy.

Also, a big reason mental hospitals were garbage is a very similar reason why our seniors homes are constantly having reports of horrible abuse: the systems were terribly under-funded with over-worked, under-trained, and terribly treated staff doing a nasty stressful job. (on top of systemic issues that basically set up systems designed to encourage and hide abuse)

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for filming my music video in a store with my friend and then accidentally making a mess?

Beachcomber posted:

We might have had this one before, but I don't remember the update.
[Update] We (Husband 32M & Me 26F) have been told by his brother (37M) and SIL (30s) that we should supply all xmas gifts for the kids due to our lack of kids??

Beachcomber posted:

We might have had this one before, but I don't remember the update.

We (Husband 32M & Me 26F) have been told by his brother (37M) and SIL (30s) that we should supply all xmas gifts for the kids due to our lack of kids??


And the update.

[Update] We (Husband 32M & Me 26F) have been told by his brother (37M) and SIL (30s) that we should supply all xmas gifts for the kids due to our lack of kids??

OP posted:

Tim lost his poo poo over a roomba

quote:

Your injuries will heal, but Tim will forever be the man who lost his poo poo over a roomba and got his dumb rear end arrested a couple of days before Christmas.

quote:

I think I like the part about the parents the best. They're far more concerned about the image of Tim in jail and how it would ruin Christmas than "maybe some jail time would straighten our berserk child out since we've failed so miserably as parents".

This isn't quite "It's a Wonderful Life" but give this tale a few years to mellow and it could be a new classic.

DemoneeHo posted:

Out of curiosity, I looked at op's post history and saw she had another update after that. The body of the post was deleted, probably for legal purposes, but here's some tidbits in the comments:

quote:

Basically me and my fiancée were sitting on the couch the other day and somehow, 'who we love the most and in what order' came up. She then told me that she loves me 7th most. Behind her parents, sibling, nieces and unborn nephew.

We have been together for over 4 years and are getting married soon. I thought this was a really cruel things to say. And even if it is true, it is not something that I should have ever been told. This is what white lies are for. Its been a few days since I heard this, and I am still very upset about it.

I think she was just trying to be honest, but I am having a lot of trouble looking at our relationship in the same way after hearing this. I wonder if maybe I was living a life that wasn't real, (one in which we were each other's priority and big love).

I brought it up once since, but she did not want to talk about it and honestly, I didn't want to at that time either because I was still trying to figure out my emotions. Frankly I still don't know how I feel, except really upset and wondering if any sane man would get married after hearing this. I keep thinking that this ranking means she doesn't love me very much, and trying to clarify to myself that it doesn't mean that. Honestly, it is very difficult to process. I am wondering if I misunderstood something, or am overreacting.

She is from a very family oriented background.

Am I crazy?

EDIT:

One person commented that I should mention here that my fiancee is Chinese American. She was raised by first generation Chinese immigrants. And this is relevant because in Chinese culture parents and family are often highly revered to levels that are not common in the USA. So to some extent this may be a cultural issue.

EDIT 2:

I am going to talk with her about this again, and the implication it has for our marriage. I will update this tomorrow with how it went.

TLDR:

Fiancee said she loves me, but loves everyone in her family more. I was not happy to hear this. Am I crazy?

nankeen posted:

kesey did do people a disservice by making everyone terrified of electroconvulsive therapy, which afaik is pretty safe and very effective for depression

but apart from that it was all pretty accurate lol

Hellblazer187 posted:

My [28 M] fiancee [30F] who I've been dating for 4+ years, told me that she loves everyone in her family more than me. Am I wrong to feel very hurt by this comment?

Patrick Spens posted:

Yeah baby, you're great. But this fetus just means more to me than you.

SalTheBard posted:

I know this is like 20 pages ago but I love that the title has the word "Accidentally" in it when it was 100% on purpose. When I was in my late teens, early 20s (I'm 38 now for reference) I considered myself a Juggalo. It wasn't until I met other Juggalos that i realized how loving dumb they are and I pretty much was over that poo poo.

Hellblazer187 posted:

I don't know how much the "well she's Chinese and they're culturally conditioned to venerate parents" stuff is real and how much is just made up.

kimbo305 posted:

made up as in he interpreted Chinese culture on his own

Hellblazer187 posted:

It's an incredibly dumb conversation to have, but I do think the nieces and "unborn nephew" are just too much. I don't know how much the "well she's Chinese and they're culturally conditioned to venerate parents" stuff is real and how much is just made up. Assuming it's real, I could sort of see "you're fourth behind parents and sister" but lmao at cousins, nieces, and fetus.

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

She's an idiot for thinking Hitler was the evilest person ever

Power Khan posted:

no one else had death rollercoasters and electric floors, or made soap from human fat and lampshades from human skin. Hitler is just a totally different breed of evil I cannot stand even to hear the name Adolf!

quote:

My son turned three years old today. We had a little celebration for him yesterday and he got a few presents. As is often the case with kids, his favorite thing was the small, $7 Paw Patrol toy we got to put on his cake. Figures.

Today after I went to work, my wife was working out in the yard on our small garden, repotting a few things, and had him out playing and helping a bit. She had to step inside the door to grab something (a round trip of less than 10 seconds) and asked him specifically not to touch the plants she was working on while she stepped inside. As soon as she turned her back, he picked up and threw several of the plants she was moving, basically killing them. My wife, who has been working hard on this garden for weeks now, was very upset. He smirked and tried to cutely say he was sorry, but laughed as she got after him and put him in time out. She texted me to express frustration and asked what we should do about his destructive behavior.

I said she should take away his new toy and tell him that daddy said we need to sell it so we can buy new plants for the garden, and to tell him that we can only have nice things when we take good care of them (this would not be the first time we've had a talk like this).

If he were a bit bigger I think I would feel just fine doing this, but the fact that he is still just barely 3 years old and is generally a very nice kid is giving me some pause. WIBTA for taking his toy forever?

quote:

Really, really poo poo situation.

2 months ago, my GF was raped. It was done in a park. She didn't want to report it and went into a full breakdown, wouldn't speak to police, go to hospital etc. I couldn't force her, so I just stayed with her.

She was, obviously, in a really poo poo state since, and I've been with her, by her side, listening to her, helping her. We went to therapy, and she knows I'm there for her. She has a history of depression, and I've been really worried.

Last week, we found out she was pregnant. I was abroad for 2 months before the rape on work, and can back early to care for her. So the baby definitely isn't mine. She is 100% sure it's the rapist's.

So we had a discussion. She is a devout Catholic. We initially decided on a abortion, but after she speak to her Mother, she has decided to keep the baby, saying that isn't the baby's fault.

I flat out told her that I would not help raise a baby of a guy who raped her. She cried and begged me not to leave. I told she is the one making the choice - either she keeps the baby and I leave, or she aborts the baby and I stay. I would not let this go.

She didn't want either of those things to happen, so I told her we were done...

I feel poo poo. Was i wrong?

quote:

I'll post the update first, since there has been some change since I last posted. Then I'll respond to some general points made from the last thread, and the ton of PMs I received.

Yesterday, I received a call from my GF. She was crying, and she begged me to listen to her. I told her that I still care for her, and that I'll obviously listen to what she has to say.

She told me that a few days after I told her we were done, she called up her Mother to talk about this. Apparently, what happened before was that she was pretty much decided on aborting, but then when she spoke to her Mother, her mother told her that under no accounts should she abort, and that I was actually manipulating her to do so. Her Mother went on to say that if she aborted the child, she would no longer consider my gf as her daughter.

After I left her, my gf called her Mum up to talk about what went on. My GF said that she desperately wanted to abort the baby, and her Mother again said that if she does so, this is the last time they will ever speak again. My GF said she broke down on the phone, and her Mother kept asking her what she will do. The conversation then ended when my GF said she didn't know.

Then she started texting. After a few hours of thinking, my GF sent her mum a text saying she was going to abort. She was then blocked.

My GF then called me, and told me everything.

She will be having an abortion in 3 weeks.

I discussed this with my GF, and we both completely agreed that I had not manipulated her in any way, and that she appreciated that I put my foot down, because had I not, she would have had a baby who would remind her of the worst time of her life. (Her words, not mine)

She further went on to say that I am the best thing that has ever happened to her, and that she knew that even if she no longer had a Mum, if she had me, she could get through this. I broke down at this point.

I love her so much. In truth, I probably would have gone back to her and raised the baby with her, even though I knew I'd resent it. I made the original thread to get some backing rather than anything, to see if I had made the right decision.

I'm so relieved things had turned out the way they have.

Also, screw any Mother who places religion over their own child. Friggin lunatics.

Now to respond to some of your points from the last thread:

1: No. My GF did not cheat on me. I am almost certain about this. Not only because she had the conscience of a fragile angel, but also because we both know each others' schedules really well, and we often talk to friends who can corroborate timings. Moreover, her roommate took photos of my GF after she came home assaulted. It's not "rough sex" as some of you dicks put it.

2: I don't give a rat's arse if you think abortion is a sin or the killing of a baby. Come and raise the baby or give us money to raise the baby or hire us a live in maid to tend to my GFs every need while she pregnant if you're so sanctimonious. Talk the talk, then walk the walk you wanking tit-baboons.

3: My GF was absolutely clear she wanted to raise the baby (probably influenced by the Mum).

4: Thanks for all the people telling me I did the right thing. It was really difficult. I'm very glad it turned out the way it has though.

5: To the people who PM'd me telling me I'm a monstrous baby killer - I fail to see what my hobbies have to do with this issue.

Thanks Reddit.