/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Dreadwroth2: Feb 28, 2019; by Cyrano4747

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for approaching my ex girlfriend to congratulate her for first year of Med school while she was on a date?

I've been broken up with my ex for well over a year. To me she was "the one" to her our relationship was a place filler and in 3 months we never were intimate and didn't see much of each other because she was so busy.
~sniiiiip~Was I the rear end in a top hat for approaching her?

Speaking from personal experience, my crazy busy science major ex still made time to do dirty dirty things to me, my friend you werr never a boyfriend in the first place sorry.

# ? May 12, 2019 05:42

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 04:28

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Grape posted:

There was even a women!!!!!

Homosexuality is a sin

# ? May 12, 2019 05:43

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

I played a prank making my mom think she won $100,000 on a scratch off ticket and instantly regretted the decision. It hurt her a lot more than I thought. The saddest part is she was celebrating all kind of stuff she was gonna do for ME not even herself. I am a terrible loving person.

quote:

She even cried after I told her it was a joke...

She was celebrating saying she was gonna pay for my college and buy me all kind of things and pay her debt.

gently caress this was a terrible idea. I don�t know how to fix this.

# ? May 12, 2019 05:54

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Xik posted:

I played a prank making my mom think she won $100,000 on a scratch off ticket and instantly regretted the decision. It hurt her a lot more than I thought. The saddest part is she was celebrating all kind of stuff she was gonna do for ME not even herself. I am a terrible loving person.

Kinda heartwarming, almost? If you squint at it?

# ? May 12, 2019 06:08

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Fatkraken posted:

Things that are pranks:

wrapping a bunch of a friends possessions in tinfoil when they are out of town
Hiding cute tchotchkes around someones house for them to find randomly for the next three months
Plastic poops

Things that are NOT pranks:

Replacing someones food with poison*
Assault
Sexual Assault
Faking a crime being committed against them
Committing an actual crime then saying that they did it
Telling someone cruel but believable lies then laughing or taking satisfaction when they believe you**

*this includes things they have told you they are allergic to, yes, even if you don't believe them for some reason
**this may be acceptable as a form of revenge, for example against a cheater or as bait for a snooper like in that wedding ring story, but then that's not really a prank as it is undertaken with deliberate malice

# ? May 12, 2019 06:09

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

dudeness posted:

But the pose she was looking for was

goatse dude is just doing a yoga pose

# ? May 12, 2019 06:11

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

lol that lottery "prank" one was posted today so if it's real what a great loving mother's day gift that was. god drat

# ? May 12, 2019 06:14

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for confiscating my daughters sketchbook?

I always knew my daughter really liked to draw but she always liked to draw mythical creatures like dragons. I never expected anything vulgar from her until today when she was rushing out the door for school I noticed she dropped her sketchbook so I went to bring it to her and to my surprise- there was multiple pages of nude drawings of men AND a women. I was appalled. Don�t get me wrong I understand the concept of this for artists and that it�s normal for artists but my daughter is only 14. She has absolutely no business with these types of drawings. She was out the door before I could say anything. Obviously they cannot allow nude models in school so the only other explanation is that she has been viewing the images on 18+ websites. I did what I had to and went on her laptop (which her father and I paid for, btw) to see the history and as suspected a website full of adult nude models and even google searches for specific poses. I waited until my daughter got home and confronted her, i tried to be calm as I could and explained that she has no business viewing 18+ images and those models can get in big trouble if the police find out and underaged girl is viewing them. I told her I would then be confiscating her sketchbook and laptop until she agrees to draw something more age appropriate. i think that this is fair as she can have her stuff back immediately once she agrees, but she is mad and refusing to give in. If she need to practice drawing humans she can draw them from her head not from an adult websites. AITA?

Hmm, what if instead of encouraging my young daughter's bourgeoning artistic talents, I destroy her confidence and her trust in me? :thunk:

# ? May 12, 2019 06:46

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

100% guarantee that the sketchbook parent believes in abstinence-only education

# ? May 12, 2019 06:47

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

QuarkJets posted:

100% guarantee that the sketchbook parent believes in abstinence-only education

Definitely thinks that her daughter shouldn't see (or draw) dicks until her wedding day, yup.

# ? May 12, 2019 06:51

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [34 M] mother-in-law [57 F] discovered we have a significant amount of money and told the rest of the family, now we are being pressured for handouts by everyone.

We are seriously considering gifting each of her sibling�s families with $10K for Christmas in addition to establishing a $2K trust fund for each niece and nephew which we will keep contributing to each year on their respective birthdays. The hope is that the $10K will shut everyone up once and for all and avoid further accusations of favouritism, and the ongoing trust fund contributions will both benefit the kids and give us a way to knock back future handout requests while being able to say we are still doing something to support them.

You naive motherfucker

# ? May 12, 2019 07:12

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Grape posted:

Oi chav nicked me ponytail.

# ? May 12, 2019 07:15

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Barudak posted:

Take a photo of the poo poo on the floor and show it to your wife and in your most concerned but oblivious voice say "I think your sister needs some glasses and is too embarassed to tell anyone"

Idk, but it could be better to make that photo into a greeting card for the holidays and send them out to everyone in the family.

# ? May 12, 2019 07:27

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [34 M] mother-in-law [57 F] discovered we have a significant amount of money and told the rest of the family, now we are being pressured for handouts by everyone.

Have you considered to give everyone nothing? Lol, like literally NOTHING, beside telling them to go gently caress themselves.

# ? May 12, 2019 07:31

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

Sagebrush posted:

lol that lottery "prank" one was posted today so if it's real what a great loving mother's day gift that was. god drat

Oh drat. That's so bad. There's tons of videos of someone getting a fake scratch ticket on Christmas or whatever but... Mother's Day? Ouch. What are the odds that the mom didn't even get another gift?

My [33M] wife [31F] hates our life in Canada and wants to go live in the jungle.

quote:

We've been together for 7 years, married for just less than 2.

So two years ago my wife (then fiance) was suffering from severe depression due to things she hadn't dealt with in regards to her first marriage. She married very young in a super-small town (400 people), then they moved to a bigger city (1.7million) and she realised there was a lot more to life. She wasn't attracted to her ex-husband physically so she cheated on him, they got divorced, and she's felt guilty ever since. Because of this our sex life was also lovely, because she had been the one to cheat she now had severe intimacy issues.

So yeah, the depression. After some research and soul-searching, she had decided to go to an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru as she had read in Nat Geo, and heard some radio interviews of people getting over depression or anxiety through the use of the pyschadelic tea.

The problem comes that she felt so connected to the ceremony and the people and the tea, that now it's the only important thing in her life. Before she left she was an athiest and capitalist, we ran a very successful small business and that was the important thing in her life. Now she is a hyper-spiritual, vegan, hippie, who feels like our life in North America "isn't real" and we are just in the cycle of western bullshit. She feels a calling to be in Peru and learn the healing arts and be connected with 'spirit'. She doesn't care about our business (we just had our worst year ever), she has alienated almost all of our family and friends, and she is again having severe bouts of depression because she just wants to be in Peru instead of here in our life.

We've had a lot of very candid talks about this, I've told her that I have no interest in moving to Peru, but if that's the most important thing to her then we should get a divorce and she should go. This sucks because I am madly in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I also like our business and the life we have for ourselves here in Canada. She is upset with me because I don't want to go do Ayahuasca and learn to be spiritual and live in the jungle, but she also doesn't want a divorce and says that she loves me and the life we've built together.

Basically it seems like we still love each other but we both want entirely different things in life now, and it sucks.

Right now we're going to try a plan where she spends three months of the year in Peru doing her thing, while I hold the fort in Canada. I'm worried, however, that she will get even more connected to her life there and never want to come back, and I'll be resentful for doing all the work here and supporting us as she would make no money while being down there.

I guess I'm just looking for some help or perspective. We are very good communicators, we have talked this out until the cows come home, but neither of us can seem to find a way to make us both happy. We don't want a divorce, but I don't want to move, and she doesn't want to stay. I can't even begin to imagine throwing away our business (which I love) after years and years of hard work to get where we are now.

Help?

tl;dr Wife was depressed, drank some crazy tea in the jungle and became a super hippie. Husband doesn't care for the tea or jungle and wants to stay in Canada. But we love each other and don't know what to do.

DeadMansSuspenders fucked around with this message at 07:51 on May 12, 2019

# ? May 12, 2019 07:39

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

you can't fool me that's just the plot to dharma and greg

# ? May 12, 2019 07:55

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Oh drat. That's so bad. There's tons of videos of someone getting a fake scratch ticket on Christmas or whatever but... Mother's Day? Ouch. What are the odds that the mom didn't even get another gift?

My [33M] wife [31F] hates our life in Canada and wants to go live in the jungle.

I like how he keeps saying he loves her but it�s pretty clear she�s ready to bounce down to the jungle with or without him. I suspect she had a come to Jesus moment down there and doesn�t really wanna be with this dude anymore.

# ? May 12, 2019 08:01

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Oh drat. That's so bad. There's tons of videos of someone getting a fake scratch ticket on Christmas or whatever but... Mother's Day? Ouch. What are the odds that the mom didn't even get another gift?

My [33M] wife [31F] hates our life in Canada and wants to go live in the jungle.

Wondering how long the fascination will last, once the ants start crawling up her rear end in a top hat.

# ? May 12, 2019 08:08

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

I [F/22] think my boyfriend's [M/23] roommate is flirting with him and I don't know what to do.

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and we're in a LDR (I try to visit him every weekend/every other weekend). He lives with two girls. One of them I'm not concerned about, but the other one definitely gives me reason to worry. I think she's flirting with my boyfriend even though he promises she doesn't like him in that way. She's always interrupting one-on-one time with me and him. For example, when we go back to his room and shut the door (which we normally leave open when we don't require privacy) she'll often knock to tell him something or to show him something. She'll ask that he drop everything and leave the room where I'm in to show him something in her room. Also, she's taken to giving him gifts like chocolates etc with little notes signing things like "Love, your favorite roommate!" with hearts and stuff.

I've brought this to my SO's attention but he just says "yeah it's weird" and tells me she doesn't like him like that. For the past few weeks it's been relatively bearable except she gave my boyfriend a sex scratch off lottery ticket saying it's for me and him when I come to visit. I just feel weird that she would give him a sexual gift even if it is for the both of us.

Am I overreacting? And if I'm not overreacting, how do I get this behavior to stop? I'm particularly worried because I'm spending my winter break with him and I'm afraid I'll just blow up in her face or his about the situation...

TLDR: I think my boyfriend's roommate is flirting with him and I don't know what to do.

UPDATE: Apparently he did talk to her about it to which she just laughed it off and said that she's not a threat to me. This was before she gave him the sex coupon.

UPDATE 2: Thanks for the advice everyone! I brought this up to him and he said he'll talk to her about the gift etc. In the meantime, I will take a good long look at whether or not I feel completely respected in this relationship and go from there. I'll check back to the thread intermittently.

# ? May 12, 2019 08:16

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go on a road trip with me?

quote:

(On mobile, first time, don’t kill me)

I’m graduating high school recently, and I’ve decided that before college I want to go on a road trip inspired by fallout 76.

It’s a short trip that’s only a week long and I’ve planned for it to be included with the real life counterparts of a handful of locations from fallout 76, my girlfriend wants to come along with me. Normally I’d be fine, just not with this trip.

I feel like she’ll get bored and annoyed with my talking about fallout and the history behind the actual spots I’m visiting. Which may cause arguments and long awkward car rides.

AITA?

EDIT: she knows the trip is fallout related and is fine with it (she’s not a gamer)

(Fallout 76 takes place entirely in West Virginia -- Ed.)

Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 08:27 on May 12, 2019

# ? May 12, 2019 08:25

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

Sagebrush posted:

AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go on a road trip with me?
...a handful of locations from fallout 76...

Fallout 76 Locations Wiki posted:

...a vast swathe of West Virginia[ ...] It is divided into six environmentally-distinct regions: Ash Heap, Cranberry Bog, Savage Divide, the Forest, the Mire, and Toxic Valley.

Sounds like quite the trip.

# ? May 12, 2019 08:29

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

My fallout 76 inspired roadtrip

# ? May 12, 2019 08:38

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

Break up with your bf if he plays Fallout 76

# ? May 12, 2019 09:07

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Highschool kids of this generation gonna have nostalgia for loot boxes and live services.

The retro consoles with built in credit card slots will be a big hit.

# ? May 12, 2019 09:11

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Universe Master posted:

Highschool kids of this generation gonna have nostalgia for loot boxes and live services.

The retro consoles with built in credit card slots will be a big hit.

Do I want to know what a live service is, or should I just go back to my Atari?

# ? May 12, 2019 09:36

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [27F] sister-in-law [33F] is trying to steal my baby name

Going to find raising a child really tough if they have to turn to reddit to solve such a trivial issue.

# ? May 12, 2019 09:42

Cynic Jester: Apr 11, 2009; Let's put a simile on that face
A dazzling simile
Twinkling like the night sky

HIJK posted:

Break up with your bf if he plays Fallout 76

If his standards are low enough to play Fallout 76, well....

# ? May 12, 2019 09:44

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Cynic Jester posted:

If his standards are low enough to play Fallout 76, well....

You just know that someone that broken has the dumb luck be marrying a supermodel heiress with no living relatives.

# ? May 12, 2019 09:51

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Beachcomber posted:

Do I want to know what a live service is, or should I just go back to my Atari?

it's like owning an atari but you can't play any of the games unless you have a 1+gbps internet connection and pay a monthly subscription fee

# ? May 12, 2019 09:54

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Beachcomber posted:

Do I want to know what a live service is, or should I just go back to my Atari?

Modern vidya games are like prostitution, because you pay by the hour.

# ? May 12, 2019 10:05

nankeen: Mar 20, 2019; by Cyrano4747

ad090 posted:

[URGENT] MY SIL HAS SH*T ALL OVER MY BATHTOOM

hdfjhgdfs

# ? May 12, 2019 11:19

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

Julius CSAR posted:

lol at setting up a college fund for someone else's kid tho

Sorry you don�t relate to people who love their family

# ? May 12, 2019 11:46

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

ad090 posted:

[URGENT] MY SIL HAS SH*T ALL OVER MY BATHTOOM

only thing i could think of as i read that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoosDkbEQBQ

# ? May 12, 2019 12:18

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My boyfriend[26M] wont let me [21F] eat doritos

My boyfriend who usually gives me whatever my little heart desires wont let me eat Doritos, when I'm obviously on my period and have menstrual cravings!!!!! He literally is reading this post out loud to himself as I write it......

Tell me why this is okay?

tl;dr: boyfriend wont let me eat doritos

# ? May 12, 2019 12:21

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Get your own drat doritos.

# ? May 12, 2019 12:45

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

Maybe cause I�m pregnant but I love the ones about baby names.

Divorce on table because husband and I cant agree on baby's name

quote:

Hello reddit. This title might look funny but its an actual problem between me (23F) and my husband (24M). We've been dating for a year, been married for 2 years. I got pregnant like 7 months ago so recently we started discussing name for the baby. Ever since we found out its gonna be a girl my husband wants to name it like his exes name. Its not any ex but the one he dated for long period of time and loved the most. In the beginning of our relationship we had may problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away. He really loved her and he never hid that from me but I thought it was over once she moved away. Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child. When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her. He doesnt understand how much its affecting me and keeps saying its just the hormones. Is he still in love with the ex or its normal that he wants to name OUR child like that. Thank you!

# ? May 12, 2019 12:52

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Switchback posted:

Maybe cause I’m pregnant but I love the ones about baby names.

Divorce on table because husband and I cant agree on baby's name

Lmao. Baby name disputes are primo poo poo

# ? May 12, 2019 13:01

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

Best comment:

quote:

I'm the oldest, my mom really wanted to name me after her Aunt who passed away, Carmen. My dad insisted on naming me after a famous song at the time. He was adamant that he wanted that name. My mom, being a young girl, madly in love with my dad gave in.

A few weeks after I was born, they took me to visit my grandma, my dad's mother. She asked what is the baby's name. My mom told her and my grandmas face went white and was in shock. She then told my mom, that was my dad's childhood sweethearts name, the one that he loved and the one that got away. After that my mother always called me a different version of that name. When I was a teenager I found out where my name came from. The feeling of anger, hurt and just flat out resentment towards my dad, has NEVER gone away. It's also, creeped me the f**k out! I had the name of some girl he was with, ewwwww!!!!!! So disrespectful to my mother, and as a teen to know your dad doesn't love your mother!?! It really messed me up for a long time. He laughed, and said my mom was being crazy and played it off like no big deal. Do NOT name any of your child after an ex. - a child named after an ex.

# ? May 12, 2019 13:03

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My boyfriend[26M] wont let me [21F] eat doritos

My boyfriend who usually gives me whatever my little heart desires wont let me eat Doritos, when I'm obviously on my period and have menstrual cravings!!!!! He literally is reading this post out loud to himself as I write it......

Tell me why this is okay?

tl;dr: boyfriend wont let me eat doritos

How is the response to "I forbid you to eat Doritos!" anything other than "Whatever" and eating Doritos?

# ? May 12, 2019 13:03

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 04:28

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Switchback posted:

Maybe cause I�m pregnant but I love the ones about baby names.

Divorce on table because husband and I cant agree on baby's name

Divorce is on the table because your husband is still in love with his ex and you married him anyway.

# ? May 12, 2019 13:31

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