|
MasBrillante posted:Okay, so that’s your very subjective and very pedantic opinion. Because the point, which you seem to be missing and which I already made very clearly, is that that is still not the same as sex, duh. Would you be satisfied with a strip club membership in lieu of a sex life? No, because that comparison is dumb and hyperbolic. All opinions are subjective and pedantic. Your opinion that my opinion is subjective is subjective. Also, the point that you seem to be missing is that the boundaries of what is becoming acceptable in a relationship are changing and blurring incredibly fast, to the point that I have literally met couples(college age, duh) that think it would be rude to ask their partner not to gently caress other people. Chichevache fucked around with this message at 05:41 on May 18, 2019 |
#
?
May 18, 2019 05:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 14:47 |
|
|
Chichevache posted:All opinions are subjective and pedantic. Your opinion that my opinion is subjective is subjective. That isn’t a (good) point and if it were, you didn’t make it because you were too busy making the absurd and indefensible claim that nudity and sex are interchangeable. Also, the OP conceded that her boyfriend “had a point” but that he shouldn’t have called her a “carnival thot.” Is that how you think people in relationships should communicate their discomfort to each other? If that’s the standard that is being blurred, some of us are okay with that.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 05:46
|
|
|
MasBrillante posted:That isn’t a (good) point and if it were, you didn’t make it because you were too busy making the absurd and indefensible claim that nudity and sex are interchangeable. Also, the OP conceded that her boyfriend “had a point” but that he shouldn’t have called her a “carnival thot.” Is that how you think people in relationships should communicate their discomfort to each other? If that’s the standard that is being blurred, some of us are okay with that. Pretty sure I made a flippant joke on a joke forum where we laugh at fake reddit stories, but if you want to open a thread for this discussion in D&D I would be happy to debate this with you in it. Just post a link when it's created. Also, what makes you think I'm arguing for couples to insult each other? For actual content: AITA for considering reporting someone who accused me of racism quote:u/101mimo101 Chichevache fucked around with this message at 05:56 on May 18, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 05:51
|
|
|
MasBrillante posted:called her a “carnival thot.”
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 05:59
|
|
|
Peaceful Anarchy posted:Festival. Carnival would be a whole other level of insult. I had an association in my brain with Carnival because I love me some Carnival costumes. But carnival thot does sound like calling someone an ICP groupie.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:00
|
|
|
Would a carnival thot be a sexy clown?
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:01
|
|
|
Harley Quinn gets around.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:04
|
|
|
Pirate Radar posted:Would a carnival thot be a sexy clown? That's a circus thot.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:05
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:06
|
|
|
i mean she's allowed to do whatever she wants, he's allowed to be upset about whatever he wants, but if you go out to the bar with your nipples falling out of your shirt that does p much make you a thot, like by definition
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:07
|
|
|
I didn’t focus once on Detective Pikachu
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:09
|
|
|
Pirate Radar posted:Would a carnival thot be a sexy clown? Are we talking carnival thots or Carnival (the one in Brazil) thots? Because I feel like there would be a biiiiig difference.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:09
|
|
|
LadyPictureShow posted:Are we talking carnival thots or Carnival (the one in Brazil) thots? Because I feel like there would be a biiiiig difference. I said small-c carnival, not Carnival
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:11
|
|
|
LadyPictureShow posted:Are we talking carnival thots or Carnival (the one in Brazil) thots? Because I feel like there would be a biiiiig difference. Would Carnivale thots still wear masks
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:11
|
|
|
Sagebrush posted:i mean she's allowed to do whatever she wants, he's allowed to be upset about whatever he wants, but if you go out to the bar with your nipples falling out of your shirt that does p much make you a thot, like by definition No because a thot is a whore and a whore or sex worker is compensated for sexual labor. I don’t know why it is so hard to understand that you can disapprove of someone’s behavior without making gendered insults, but whatever. You can even be like listen, I don’t want to be seen with someone who does x, y, or z without insulting them and then break up with them if they can’t meet those standards. But I’m not going to spend any more energy trying to convince you all that just because you can say lovely things doesn’t mean that you should.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:16
|
|
|
Pirate Radar posted:I said small-c carnival, not Carnival I know; just explaining how I got from festival to carnival in my brain.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:17
|
|
|
Better a festival thot than a Ren Faire wench IMO.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 06:21
|
|
|
MasBrillante posted:No because a thot is a whore and a whore or sex worker is compensated for sexual labor. I don’t know why it is so hard to understand that you can disapprove of someone’s behavior without making gendered insults, but whatever. You can even be like listen, I don’t want to be seen with someone who does x, y, or z without insulting them and then break up with them if they can’t meet those standards. But I’m not going to spend any more energy trying to convince you all that just because you can say lovely things doesn’t mean that you should. That isn’t a (good) point and if it were, you didn’t make it because you were too busy making the absurd and indefensible claim that thot and whore are interchangeable.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 07:00
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for dressing like a "festival thot" (as my boyfriend called it) when I went out last night? You only get a few years of being young and hot where it’s socially acceptable to wear revealing clothes. Work it, girl. Congrats to her for not being an anxious low self-esteem mess like her boyfriend and almost everybody else on the Internet. Lol like this weenie: therobit posted:AITA for wanting my husband to get rid of an ex-GF memory box but wanting to keep one of my own? Let people keep their memories geez.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 07:08
|
|
|
MasBrillante posted:No because a thot is a whore and a whore or sex worker is compensated for sexual labor. No it's not, stupid.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 07:38
|
|
Cat Army
|
FAUXTON posted:idk there's always been a part of me that suspects the worst of guys who prefer their women shaven clean, like dude you're not staging a loving porn shoot, adults grow hair, deal with it. Guys who want that tend to be way too into porn
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 08:27
|
|
|
Switchback posted:You only get a few years of being young and hot where it’s socially acceptable to wear revealing clothes. Work it, girl. Congrats to her for not being an anxious low self-esteem mess like her boyfriend and almost everybody else on the Internet. Not being okay with your girlfriend having her nipples out in public means you're an anxious low self esteem mess? Okay.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 08:46
|
|
|
SirSamVimes posted:Not being okay with your girlfriend having her nipples out in public means you're an anxious low self esteem mess? Okay. I mean, yeah. Should a girl get offended if her Boyfriend is not wearing a shirt somewhere public? Would you be offended that someone saw your partner’s nipples because she was feeding your baby? Free the nipple & don’t police women’s bodies, and trust that just because a girl has her nipples out does not mean she’s loving dudes in a bar.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:23
|
|
|
My Boyfriend (23M) encouraged me (21F) not to go on a study abroad trip and then went on it himself. I was interested in going on a month-long study abroad trip this summer, but my SO was concerned for my safety. He felt that if I went I would be in danger, especially in a big city, so I told him I wouldn't go. Instead, I am working in my small town and felt that we could spend the summer together. 2 months later, he tells me that he has decided to go on the trip. I had already withdrawn my acceptance so I could not go with him. He says he is going only because he received a scholarship. I was obviously upset and he half-heartedly apologized but I didn't want to tell him he couldn't go. Lo and behold, he's at the trip right now and he's having the time of his life. He's sending me pictures of all the great times he's having and I can't help but resent him. I've talked to him about how sad I am he didn't go, and during his trip he's apologized multiple times for encouraging me not to go, but I feel that I don't even want to hear about his trip because it is making me sad I didn't go. Obviously I want him to have a good time, and I told him that we all make mistakes and what's happened has happened, but I can't get over the jealousy. We have been together for 3 years, so I don't think this issue is worth ending the relationship over. He seems genuinely remorseful that he told me not to go in the first place. I just don't know how to not be mad at him for the whole month he is gone and when he tells me his stories when he gets back. I understand that it was my choice to not go due to his suggestion, but that doesn't change my feelings about his trip. TL;DR: my boyfriend told me not to go on a trip and then went on it. He apologized but I am still jealous of the fun he is having.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:26
|
|
|
I told my boyfriend that I hate him in the heat of the moment. He broke up with me and now I can barely function. My boyfriend (m24) and I (f22) have been together for a little over two years. He is my best friend, my lover, and my closest confidant. I sincerely love him more than words can describe. From the day we met, we have been absolutely inseparable and we have grown through so many experiences together. He knows my friends and family, I know his friends and family very well, and we are overall very integrated into each other’s lives. What started as shy glances on the university bus and in art history class has bloomed into one of my most rewarding and personally valuable relationships. Despite the beautiful things we share, I have a serious problem with saying thoughtless and hurtful things when we fight. Sometimes I’m trying to get a reaction out of him, sometimes I’m just trying to hurt him in the same way that I hurt over things. At least that’s what I think it is. I’ve been working on my issues with saying things out of anger, but the other night I said some things that I don’t think we can come back from. Two days ago was my birthday. I spent the majority of the day with me cooking and doing things that we love. Around 7pm I decided that I wanted to go to a local coffeehouse with my roommate to drink some beer and shoot the poo poo. Selfishly, I wanted it to be just she and I. Even though we live together, we typically don’t get to spend that much time together, and in addition to my birthday, we were celebrating her graduation. He was hurt that we wanted it to just be a roommate thing. As the night progressed, he got more and more mad about how late we were staying out. I came home at 12:30 and immediately tried to call and text him. Nothing. He usually stays up until about 3/4 in the morning, so I genuinely thought he was ignoring me because he was angry. At this point I was very intoxicated and I said so many hurtful things (via text) along the lines of “you ruin everything” “I hate you” “I have wasted so much time with you”. Being drunk is never an excuse for the things we say, but I think clarifying that I was drunk provides some insight and context into how I escalated the situation so quickly. I felt like he was trying to control my plans on my birthday, and I felt ignored after he didn’t get his way. But I messed up. Those texts were by far the meanest things I’ve ever said, and understandably, he was incredibly hurt by them. The next morning I woke up to heavy knocking at my door. I peeling my hungover body off of my mattress and opened the door to see him standing there with a trash bag full of my stuff. He said he was done and he left me. Over the past two days I have agonized over every word between us, and I have cried harder than I ever have before. I deeply regret the harmful things I said. I know I didn’t mean any of those things, but that doesn’t matter. I said it to him and I can’t take it back. He can choose to forgive me, but he will never forget the way those words sliced into his heart. I went on a long drive today and listened to “I Only Have Eyes For You” by the Flamingos and CRIED. I thought about everything I said to him, and I pictured him saying those ugly things to me. It broke me. I understand his choice to leave, but I wish I could change him mind. I know I didn’t mean those things, and I know that he’s the most important person to me. I love him. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t stop crying. Reddit, what do I do? I recognize that I may just have to learn and let go, but the idea of never being with him again absolutely destroys me. Is there anything I can do or say to him that could make him reconsider? Is it a lost cause? I really need some words of wisdom, advice, and a friend. Also, I know what I did was wrong. I’m not trying to deny any wrongdoing. tl;dr my boyfriend was mad that he wasn’t included in my birthday plans with my roommate so we got in a fight. I said horrible hurtful things to him and he broke up with me. It seems like it’s for good, but I’m not ready to let go.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:29
|
|
|
Yesssssssss I love it
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:42
|
|
|
"I know that I'm facing just consequences of my actions but I don't want that." The fact that she wrote such a long text about such a simple story and included the name of the song she listened to on the radio means that the learning process hasn't even begun yet.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:46
|
|
|
imo they're just right for each other. she stayed out until 1230 with her bff, they're in college no poo poo they stayed out until 1230! what is he gettin mad about  inb4 her post in two weeks about him drunkenly caterwauling outside of her window at 2am. KENNNNNNNN-DRAAAAAA!!!!! I'M SORRYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everyone in her apartment block will be mortified
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:52
|
|
|
The White Dragon posted:imo they're just right for each other. she stayed out until 1230 with her bff, they're in college no poo poo they stayed out until 1230! what is he gettin mad about His grievance is probably that her idea of celebrating the day didnt seem to include him whatsoever. Switchback posted:I mean, yeah. Should a girl get offended if her Boyfriend is not wearing a shirt somewhere public? Would you be offended that someone saw your partner’s nipples because she was feeding your baby? Free the nipple & don’t police women’s bodies, and trust that just because a girl has her nipples out does not mean she’s loving dudes in a bar. Those are uh, not equivalent to what she did at all. When you go out in an outfit so racy you won't even describe it in an anonymous internet post beyond that your nipples were repeatedly exposed you're advertising them in their role as a sex organ. Nobody cares if you fo that while single, but if you're in a committed relationship and you're doing that for people other than your SO that's a big problem. Like why did he call her a name instead of ending it big. FoolyCharged fucked around with this message at 10:00 on May 18, 2019 |
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:54
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:I told my boyfriend that I hate him in the heat of the moment. He broke up with me and now I can barely function. Right into my veins Oo
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 09:57
|
|
|
FoolyCharged posted:His grievance is probably that her idea of celebrating the day didnt seem to include him whatsoever. I mean she spent the rest of the day with him didn't she?
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:05
|
|
|
You shouldn't drive while crying or generally being emotionally unstable.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:34
|
|
|
The way it reads, she spontaneously decided to pop off for five hours, rather than having made plans to do anything of the sort beforehand. Maybe he had something planned for that timeframe, or maybe it interfered with implicit or explicit plans they had made together. There's not really any way to tell, since I have a hunch that those two might not have been the most capable communicators.FoolyCharged posted:Like why did he call her a name instead of ending it big. lmao nobody should care this much about a loving nipple Things can violate unspoken boundaries without being deal breakers.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:38
|
|
|
Zulily Zoetrope posted:The way it reads, she spontaneously decided to pop off for five hours, rather than having made plans to do anything of the sort beforehand. Maybe he had something planned for that timeframe, or maybe it interfered with implicit or explicit plans they had made together. There's not really any way to tell, since I have a hunch that those two might not have been the most capable communicators. It's not the nipple, it's the acting like you're looking for a drunken hook up.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:41
|
|
|
It doesn't even matter who was right about the birthday - she escalated a normal quarrel to extreme verbal abuse and lashed out at a perceived easy target because she felt like it. She's a classic abuser with real anger issues. I'm glad he decided not to take that poo poo and end things right there, good for him.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:46
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for dressing like a "festival thot" (as my boyfriend called it) when I went out last night? He was clearly the rear end in a top hat, but it would weirder if an out of town common or garden boyfriend didn't get all paranoid and possessive. Not saying that's a good thing either, but it would absolutely gently caress with most run of the mill guy's heads. A reaction you'd expect, honestly. I mean yeah yeah everyone should be sex positive and completely open minded about everything, but many, many people just aren't. Not because they're bad or behind the times, just because they're not. Just because something becomes progressive doesn't mean its suddenly the yard stick to measure someone against. Its not right to fault them for it, its fine to be someone like that and its fine to not want to be with people like that. It sucks that everyone records every wild moment of your life, I'm pretty controlling about that kind of stuff and prefer a lost weekend where no evidence remains which means I'm pretty selective about my blow out style friends and go a little spazzy if someone starts recording me or taking photos without asking me. I'll not have a good time if I have a tiny doubt that it will be documented somehow. Its kind of funny about his futureproofing defense though, I mean jesus christ, she mentioned its a tradition going back to her parents, its not like she's gone down to the public library to flick through the microfilm to see if her dad's prince albert is in some obscure publication. A good few years ago I had an occasional oddjob I was known for but its largely been replaced by just good laws: I would clean up people's web presences for a fee. People about to get into court cases, or people who's jobs flipped out at things they'd posted across the web and it had come to light. It was 90% googling, 5% saying "hey could you please remove because" and 5% replying "thank you very much for removing".
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 10:51
|
|
|
SirSamVimes posted:Not being okay with your girlfriend having her nipples out in public means you're an anxious low self esteem mess? Okay. I'm sorry that you never went to any college parties but seeing some nip slips at one really isn't a big deal FoolyCharged posted:It's not the nipple, it's the acting like you're looking for a drunken hook up. she wasn't though she wore some revealing clothes that's not the same thing
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 11:09
|
|
|
Smirking_Serpent posted:I told my boyfriend that I hate him in the heat of the moment. He broke up with me and now I can barely function.  Still plenty young enough to sort out these anger management issues and go on to have a decent relationship with someone else. Switchback posted:Free the nipple 👏 Free 👏 The 👏 Nips 👏
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 11:16
|
|
|
Her sentence "I spent the day with me cooking and doing things we love" is a perfect summary of why she's single.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 12:02
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 14:47 |
|
|
As my [M22] boyfriend [M20] is slowly getting more open about what he enjoys in bed and his sexuality, I’m slowly getting weirded out, especially because what he enjoys is starting to get out of the bedroom. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now and for both of us it’s our first real relationship. We met in college, he comes from a country where homosexuality is tolerated but taboo, I come from a very conservative family, we were both deep in the closet until we met: in short, we were both completely inexperienced getting into this relationship. It’s been nothing but wonderful times with him, however both coming from backgrounds where intimacy is frowned upon and male intimacy isn’t even considered, sex was something we discovered together very slowly, especially for him. I encouraged him to tell me about whatever he felt like trying and we’ve been figuring ourselves out: we found a kind of power dynamic in bed we both enjoy, and that too has been wonderful. When he brought up that dynamic, I was already a bit taken aback, but quickly learned to love it. No problem there. The issues started a few months ago: he started bringing that dynamic out the bedroom. I enjoyed it, it was like our little secret, a little tease here and there. Then he started doing it more and more openly: calling me “Daddy” in public, in front of friends, changing my contact name in his phone to this as well, sometimes referring to me as this when I’m not there, and generally acting very submissive and often sexual. Our friends found it funny, then a bit weird, while I was mostly a bit embarrassed. Then what really weirded me out started happening. I’ll be very blunt: it’s a race thing. In bed he started bringing up my race more and more, my skin color. Then he started degrading himself for his race, finally asking me to call him racial expletives, and to generally be very mean and degrading (something that hadn’t happened before). All of this in the span of a month. I felt very uncomfortable but complied, because he seemed to be enjoying it so much. Then yesterday he brought up this dynamic in public, being extremely sexual and using this kind of racial talk (to me, not within earshot of anyone, but still), which threw me off a lot. How do I even diplomatically bring this up to him? I’ve always been nothing but encouraging towards him exploring his sexuality, and feel like I’d be betraying his trust by not enjoying something he seems to really like. Plus it might be silly, but I keep thinking: is my race a part of why he’s attracted to me? A big part? I always knew he had a “type”, we talked about it (I’m a big, masculine guy, the opposite of him), and I enjoy being that type for him. But the thought of my race being part of that type makes me uncomfortable: maybe because it’s so impersonal, my race has nothing to do with who I am. I’m not entirely sure, but I’ve been up a good part of the night wondering about it, thinking back if there were signs of this in the past (and I found some, like praising a lot of my features that are more common in people of my background, like light eyes or hairiness, compared to people of his, but this be might a stretch from my tired brain). I’m just a bit lost, thank you for any advice you could give me, as you can imagine it’s not something I can really bring up to people I know. Sorry if this got too long winded. TL;DR: Boyfriend is getting into fetishes I’m not very comfortable with, being public about them, and it’s making me wonder about his attraction towards me. No idea how to bring it up to him, just a bit lost in general.
|
|
#
?
May 18, 2019 12:07
|
|