/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Also depending on which state trust son is in it may be illegal for him to take any kind of picture in the voting booth so this stupid provision may be unenforceable at any level. The worst the dad could conceivably do is find out if his son is a registered Democrat, which is public knowledge in some states.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:14

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# ? May 28, 2024 03:40

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

IMO just move to a state where it doesn�t loving matter anyway and take the poo poo load of money and put it towards social issues that would piss the dad off.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:20

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

It could be worse, he could be required to spend the night in a haunted house to get his inheritance!

Or actually no, because including legally unenforceable conditions in a will is enough to get it invalidated, and if the son is the only living relative he'll inherit the whole shebang anyway.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:26

Xombie: May 22, 2004; Soul Thrashing
Black Sorcery

acems posted:

This guy's whole profile is a doozy. He just can't stop trying to fight people and getting his rear end beat.

Full list of people this guy has gotten his rear end kicked by after starting a fight with them, in the last 1-2 months:

His ex's boyfriend
The same guy plus the ex
His friend (over a political debate)
A customer at work
His father
A guy who tried to grab his date
The date herself, later that same night
His boss, the next day while firing him for getting into fights

# ? May 22, 2019 20:26

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Xombie posted:

Full list of people this guy has gotten his rear end kicked by after starting a fight with them, in the last 1-2 months:

His ex's boyfriend

The same guy plus the ex

His friend (over a political debate)

A customer at work

His father

A guy who tried to grab his date

The date herself, later that same night

His boss, the next day while firing him for getting into fights

Is getting beat up a weird sex thing for him

# ? May 22, 2019 20:28

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over my video games.

quote:

so I have a decent video collection, I will not post pictures as I do not want this post linked to my actual account.

my girlfriend of 2 years 25f and me 24f decided we wanted to move in together, she kinda mentioned getting rid of my collection but I thought she was joking so I brushed it off. turns out she wanted me to get rid of my whole video game collection, some of my games are worth some money and I've been keeping them so they can become more expensive. my collection is also 3 years of me thrift shopping and I do not want to throw that away, I tried to explain it but she refused and told me that I did not love her enough to make this sacrifice.

about 2/3 days ago she called me and said it's me or the loving video games. I chose the games and she hung up on me.

everyone that I've spoken to (excluding a few people) have been telling me I hosed up, and that I should of picked her over some games.

AITA?

# ? May 22, 2019 20:28

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

ad090 posted:

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over my video games.

Curious as to how big this collection is and what's in it. I'm hoping it's all hentai, and the crowning piece is his mint in box copy of RapeLay.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:31

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

ad090 posted:

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over my video games.

Lol NTA.

Lolololol at least he set this poor girl free so he�s NTA for that simple fact.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:32

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Xombie posted:

Full list of people this guy has gotten his rear end kicked by after starting a fight with them, in the last 1-2 months:

His ex's boyfriend

The same guy plus the ex

His friend (over a political debate)

A customer at work

His father

A guy who tried to grab his date

The date herself, later that same night

His boss, the next day while firing him for getting into fights

He really needs to learn how to fight.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:34

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

both of them are girls according to the post, which is way funnier to me

# ? May 22, 2019 20:34

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Antivehicular posted:

I was ready for another "she's bisexual/she had an abortion"-level "not your business, YTA" situation, but... man. Man. I dunno about this.

It's pretty clear his sociopath daughter isn't going to tell him- she straight up said so, and threatened her father at the same time. Sounds like a lovely person.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:35

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Vim Fuego posted:

It's pretty clear his sociopath daughter isn't going to tell him- she straight up said so, and threatened her father at the same time. Sounds like a lovely person.

I didn't read "she always responds, �I know you wouldn�t dare.� as a threat, though now that you mention it it very well may be. I read it as her having no sense that non-sociopaths can make decisions outside their emotions. Dad obviously loves her and she knows he doesn't want to hurt her so obviously he wouldn't do this thing that would hurt her even if he should. He's probably protected her and defended her many times so she can't conceive that he'd put some third party's feelings above his or hers.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:42

acems: May 8, 2019

MarcusSA posted:

I feel like maybe this dude has some unresolved anger issues he should look at.

but he went through a breakup, don't you know???

Xombie posted:

Full list of people this guy has gotten his rear end kicked by after starting a fight with them, in the last 1-2 months:

His ex's boyfriend

The same guy plus the ex

His friend (over a political debate)

A customer at work

His father

A guy who tried to grab his date

The date herself, later that same night

His boss, the next day while firing him for getting into fights

the date post is especially bad (hence its exclusion from my highlights) so it makes him getting his rear end kicked so many times all the sweeter

# ? May 22, 2019 20:44

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

acems posted:

Dude got fired for attacking his manager, but that post got deleted

Worry not friend:

I got fired from work today for coming in with two black eyes and then I attacked my manager, he says he will be pressing charges. What the hell do I do?

quote:

Hey guys.

I am in Georgia. Long story short I�ve been having a lot of problems lately. I�ve gotten into too many fights to count recently. Last night I got beat up 3 times by 3 different people. My entire body ached this morning I could barely get out of bed.

So today I went into work. My manager has warned me that I am on thin ice as the other week I had some issues that got physical with a customer but he basically bent the rules in my favor because I think he did like me before and he knew I was going through a tough time.

Today I showed up to work limping and with two black eyes and cuts and bruises all over my face. I started bagging at a register and I saw him come out of his office, look at me, walk over to another bagger and talk to him and then walk straight back into his office. The other bagger then approached me and said I was wanted in his office.

I went into his office he sat me down asked me what happened. I didn�t want to lie so I was just completely honest and I told him about my entire day yesterday. (I got beat up by my dad and then I went on a date and someone tried to grab my dates butt so I got beat up defending her. Then later she said she wasnt interested in seeing each other again and I freaked out and grabbed her so she beat me up and choked me out). He then said I was fired because I was too much of a liability at this point. I was immediately enraged and while I regret this i took my arm and cleared his desk of everything. I then took a swing at him and connected but he was not fazed by it and he grabbed my head and slammed me into the desk and onto the floor and held me there. Then two other employees ran in and they then all dragged me out through the back exit of the store. One of them literally body slamming me right through the back door. The manager then said I was never welcome back in the store and that he was going to pull the camera footage and call the police and press charges �for my own good because I need help�. What do I do? I�m just waiting for police to knock on my door I don�t know if he was being serious or not.

Resting Lich Face fucked around with this message at 20:47 on May 22, 2019

# ? May 22, 2019 20:44

acems: May 8, 2019

Resting Lich Face posted:

Worry not friend:

I got fired from work today for coming in with two black eyes and then I attacked my manager, he says he will be pressing charges. What the hell do I do?

he's probably fully going to jail given the extremely recent assault conviction lmao

# ? May 22, 2019 20:46

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Resting Lich Face posted:

Worry not friend:

I got fired from work today for coming in with two black eyes and then I attacked my manager, he says he will be pressing charges. What the hell do I do?

"She wasn't my girlfriend she was a random Tinder date"

Oh well that's a different story!

# ? May 22, 2019 20:47

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

acems posted:

he's probably fully going to jail given the extremely recent assault conviction lmao

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:47

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

ad090 posted:

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over my video games.

For the gf to go to an ultimatum like that is bullshit imo. NTA.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:48

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

acems posted:

This guy's whole profile is a doozy. He just can't stop trying to fight people and getting his rear end beat.

Holy poo poo, fistfight with a customer in the aisles of the grocery store and gets a "you're on thin ice" speech. The most forgiving boss.

Edit: Oh, I see he repaid the manager's forgiveness by attacking him, and then the manager beat him up.

ad090 posted:

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over my video games.

lol what is wrong with this person

# ? May 22, 2019 20:49

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

The only way a lot of these "my boyfriend has no job and demands my money, which I keep giving him; how do I let him know I am not happy with this arrangement" posts make any sense to me is if I imagine that this unemployed guy looks like Fabio or something.

I feel like this whole problem could be solved if the US just had host clubs like Japan. These women are already giving money to men who clearly don't love them; at least at a host club the men would be good looking, skilled at conversation, and willing to listen to the women.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:49

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

acems posted:

he's probably fully going to jail given the extremely recent assault conviction lmao

Know what the saddest loving thing is?

Advice on how to be a single dad at a young age?

quote:

Hello there!

I recently had a little boy he�s only a matter of weeks old. My girlfriend and I broke up and it�s really looking like she is gonna go to jail. I just need some advice on how to do things.

Money is no issue at all, I have that. I�m very very depressed and it feels like a lot. I feel like I never get a second to myself. My baby is bottle feeding. I do work and my mom watches him when I�m at work. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Just me and the baby. I�m almost 20. So I barely just got done being a kid myself but I want to be a really really good dad. So in my situation what are some tips you guys can give me? Anything is appreciated seriously.

I keep having breakdowns because I am so overwhelmed and I keep hoping I�m doing a good enough job. I�m exhausted. He likes to wake up in the middle of the night and not go back down for hours.

Also, for single parents who thought they were building a family and who were working toward that what advice do you give? I really thought my girlfriend and I were gonna have a family but a lot of stuff went down and she�s already engaged. So I feel lonely and I miss the family I was supposed to have. I�m doing everything on my own now

Thank you.

Poor kid's gonna be a ward of the state. Probably gonna grow up with the same horrible anger issues his father does too.

OR the kid is gonna be raised by OP's mother, which is still lovely. I bet she wishes she got an abortion 20 years ago.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:50

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

acems posted:

he's probably fully going to jail given the extremely recent assault conviction lmao

And will probably lose all the fights there too.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:52

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Resting Lich Face posted:

Know what the saddest loving thing is?

Advice on how to be a single dad at a young age?

Poor kid's gonna be a ward of the state. Probably gonna grow up with the same horrible anger issues his father does too.

OR the kid is gonna be raised by OP's mother, which is still lovely. I bet she wishes she got an abortion 20 years ago.

Grandparents are going to raise that kid.

And judging by the winner they produced the first go around, they're gonna gently caress that kid up too.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:52

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

My gf pisses in an ice cream bucket and throws it out the window at night
We have been dating 3 months, and recently she got really drunk and admitted sometimes she is too lazy to walk up the stairs and use the toilet, so just uses an ice cream container and throws it out the (first floor) window. She has done it a few times since, and I always feel a bit odd about it and think it's weird. She says that it doesn't matter and saves her time. Would it be too much to insist she goes upstairs to the toilet, or should i just let her do her thing??

--------------

A friend of a friend used to get really weird when he was drunk, and he got quite drunk sometimes. One of those nights, he shambled home and for some unknown reason he decided that it was a sensible idea to poo poo out of the appartment's window in the vestibule. I can't fathom why, the only window there was a small one where you could barely fit your rear end through, similar to those that they usually have in toilets, and ffs, the toilet was right adjacent. Maybe he didn't want to wake up the others with the sound of flushing.

In the morning he was woken up by his mom screaming at him, because apparently not only did he partially miss the window and poo poo on the wall and radiator, but with another burst he also managed to hit the windowsill of the neighbour below. The guy came up to inquire why there was human poo poo on there.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:55

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

PostNouveau posted:

Grandparents are going to raise that kid.

And judging by the winner they produced the first go around, they're gonna gently caress that kid up too.

Maybe. Not everything is down to nurture though... Some people are born real lovely.

Kid's odds aren't great though.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:55

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Cant stop loling at the dude who gets his rear end kicked everywhere he goes

"And then after church the priest grabbed my hand so I shoved him real hard and then he stone cold stunnaed me"

# ? May 22, 2019 20:56

acems: May 8, 2019

Resting Lich Face posted:

Know what the saddest loving thing is?

Advice on how to be a single dad at a young age?

Poor kid's gonna be a ward of the state. Probably gonna grow up with the same horrible anger issues his father does too.

OR the kid is gonna be raised by OP's mother, which is still lovely. I bet she wishes she got an abortion 20 years ago.

I feel so loving bad for that kid. I hope OP's parents are decent. His dad seemed to be adequately concerned and incensed about his behavior, so hopefully they're not like that?

# ? May 22, 2019 20:56

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

PostNouveau posted:

lol what is wrong with this person

Nothing wrong with collecting vintage games, something extremely wrong with making suggestions to get rid of something like that as a condition for a relationship.

# ? May 22, 2019 20:59

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Resting Lich Face posted:

Maybe. Not everything is down to nurture though... Some people are born real lovely.

Kid's odds aren't great though.

did you miss the part where that guy's dad is whaling on him as just a casual thing

gee where does he get the idea that's how you deal with people

# ? May 22, 2019 21:08

acems: May 8, 2019

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

did you miss the part where that guy's dad is whaling on him as just a casual thing

gee where does he get the idea that's how you deal with people

i was thinking too much about him getting his rear end kicked to notice, personally

# ? May 22, 2019 21:10

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

lol oh my god this kid who keeps getting beat up is maybe my favorite poster in this thread lmao I can't stop laughing someone help ahahaha

# ? May 22, 2019 21:10

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Dad, all the kids keep picking on me at school.

C'mon son. Let's go out to the backyard. I'll give you some pointers on how to fight so you can stand up for yourself.

*gets rear end kicked by a 7 year old*

# ? May 22, 2019 21:13

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Power Khan posted:

My gf pisses in an ice cream bucket and throws it out the window at night
We have been dating 3 months, and recently she got really drunk and admitted sometimes she is too lazy to walk up the stairs and use the toilet, so just uses an ice cream container and throws it out the (first floor) window. She has done it a few times since, and I always feel a bit odd about it and think it's weird. She says that it doesn't matter and saves her time. Would it be too much to insist she goes upstairs to the toilet, or should i just let her do her thing??

--------------

A friend of a friend used to get really weird when he was drunk, and he got quite drunk sometimes. One of those nights, he shambled home and for some unknown reason he decided that it was a sensible idea to poo poo out of the appartment's window in the vestibule. I can't fathom why, the only window there was a small one where you could barely fit your rear end through, similar to those that they usually have in toilets, and ffs, the toilet was right adjacent. Maybe he didn't want to wake up the others with the sound of flushing.

In the morning he was woken up by his mom screaming at him, because apparently not only did he partially miss the window and poo poo on the wall and radiator, but with another burst he also managed to hit the windowsill of the neighbour below. The guy came up to inquire why there was human poo poo on there.

I swear there are more piss bottlers than people with clinical depression it seems. Laziness is just an excuse, they just love hoarding up those jars of liquid gold.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

did you miss the part where that guy's dad is whaling on him as just a casual thing

gee where does he get the idea that's how you deal with people

How does someone manage to LOSE so many fights? This guy is jockeying for Glass Joe's boxing record, christ.

# ? May 22, 2019 21:13

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Wait until he gets his limit break

# ? May 22, 2019 21:15

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

How does that guy keep getting body slammed so much?

Does he have a WWE Hardcore Title championship belt around his waist 24/7 and not realize it?

Panfilo posted:

How does someone manage to LOSE so many fights? This guy is jockeying for Glass Joe's boxing record, christ.

LOL

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 21:22 on May 22, 2019

# ? May 22, 2019 21:15

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

ha, you think he is losing? he is merely building up an immunity to getting his rear end kicked. soon he will be unstoppable, and fight God himself

# ? May 22, 2019 21:18

acems: May 8, 2019

he should equip martyrdom so he can at least drop a grenade

# ? May 22, 2019 21:20

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

For you, the day you body slammed me, choked me, and beat me unconscious was the day you and your boyfriend went to prison for assault. But for me, it was Tuesday.

# ? May 22, 2019 21:21

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

[20F]My roommates are J [23M]E[21M]
]]][][][
What's next goons

# ? May 22, 2019 21:25

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# ? May 28, 2024 03:40

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

PostNouveau posted:

lol what is wrong with this person

.... Nothing? It doesn't matter if it's something silly like games, she had the collection way before she met her girlfriend. It's a dumb ultimatum. I could understand, like, scaling back or something, but not getting rid of the whole thing.

# ? May 22, 2019 21:26

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