/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Tetramin posted:

I dunno, I live in the city where dogs poo poo on my lawn all the time. If the owner bags it up who loving cares? Do you freak out if somebody tosses a piece of trash into your garbage can too?

E: also yeah what Jeffery said.

Right, I can't stand random dog poop on the sidewalk, it bothers me and I've considered finding culprits and chastising them. The other side of that is that, if you bag up the poop, I appreciate it rather than chastising folks anyway because of the residue.

That said, dna testing dogs to find poop vandals sounds like one of the few good reasons to have a homeowner's association. It actually serves the common good rather than the neighborhood's busybody-general.

# ? May 27, 2019 20:10

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# ? May 28, 2024 05:45

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Performing DNA surveillance on local yorkies to protect the HOA empire.

# ? May 27, 2019 20:14

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Freudian posted:

My [17M] parents [54M, 49F] have been having issues. I suspect that my dad is gay and is cheating on my mom. What do I do?

How in the gently caress has it taken you two years to realise your dad's loving this guy. Why has everyone just accepted this situation. Why has your dad moved in his boyfriend.

dad gay, so what?

# ? May 27, 2019 20:52

ghost emoji: Mar 11, 2016; oooOooOOOooh

AITA for refusing to use my sperm with an ovum donor for my wife to become pregnant? (self.AmItheAsshole)

quote:

My wife is unable to conceive, so she wants to carry a pregnancy with an ovum donor and my sperm. I do not feel guilty using another ovum, [b]but I refuse to involve my sperm because I find it immoral, because I believe that I personally would not want to carry a pregnancy without conceiving if I was a woman.[b] My wife is upset. AITA?

[�]sandcastle_disco [score hidden] 16 minutes ago
YTA. sure, you "personally would not want to carry a pregnancy without conceiving if I was a woman", but that's not how your wife feels - and she's the one going through the pregnancy. plus, she'd still be conceiving, so I don't understand your logic at all..

[�]Hrexzav[S] [score hidden] 5 minutes ago
No, that is not what the word conceiving means. She would just be gestating.

[�]sandcastle_disco [score hidden] 3 minutes ago
what? by definition, that's what conceiving means. if you get pregnant, you are conceiving
> The union of the sperm and the ovum. Synonymous with fertilization.
> The onset of pregnancy, marked by implantation of the blastocyst into the endometrium.
and even if it didn't - if any sort of IVF/IUI procedure means she isn't technically "conceiving" - why does it matter so much to you? she's not cheating on you. she's still carrying your child, a child that she seems to really want.

[�]Hrexzav[S] [score hidden] 2 minutes ago
Only the first definition is used in most dictionaries.

# ? May 27, 2019 20:53

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

AITA for kicking out my 19 year old sister into the streets because she got knocked up and wouldn't abort?
u/typsick21

quote:

My younger sister lives with me, she's 19 and I'm 30. Our parents died like 5 months ago in a car accident so she moved in with me. For reasons I cannot understand, and despite preaching birth control and supplying her with pills, she still got pregnant. She claims she forgot to take it one day. She doesn't know who the father is.

A week ago she sat me down and told me the news that she's 3 months along now. When I asked her what she intended to do she told me she wants to keep it, but wants to continue her education (She starts college next year). So she expects me to take care of her baby while she's away which is simply unfeasible. I explained to her I have a job and regardless, I'm not about to take care of a newborn on top of the poo poo I already have. I gave her till today to make up her mind and give me a final decision.

So today she tells me she's not aborting and having the baby no matter what. I inform her she's free to do what she wants with her body but I'm not going to be responsible for the baby and if she gives birth I fully expect her to raise it alone and make sacrifices for its well being. That didn't sit well with her and she still wants me to raise it when she's in college. I tell her I didn't sign up for this when taking her in and she's either to abort or have the baby on the streets. Cold? Heartless? Sure. But I'm not about to sacrifice poo poo just because she got knocked up and wants to have the baby. I'm going to give her a month to leave or change her mind. AITA?

# ? May 27, 2019 20:58

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ghost emoji posted:

AITA for refusing to use my sperm with an ovum donor for my wife to become pregnant? (self.AmItheAsshole)

[�]sandcastle_disco [score hidden] 16 minutes ago
YTA. sure, you "personally would not want to carry a pregnancy without conceiving if I was a woman", but that's not how your wife feels - and she's the one going through the pregnancy. plus, she'd still be conceiving, so I don't understand your logic at all..

[�]Hrexzav[S] [score hidden] 5 minutes ago
No, that is not what the word conceiving means. She would just be gestating.

[�]sandcastle_disco [score hidden] 3 minutes ago
what? by definition, that's what conceiving means. if you get pregnant, you are conceiving
> The union of the sperm and the ovum. Synonymous with fertilization.
> The onset of pregnancy, marked by implantation of the blastocyst into the endometrium.
and even if it didn't - if any sort of IVF/IUI procedure means she isn't technically "conceiving" - why does it matter so much to you? she's not cheating on you. she's still carrying your child, a child that she seems to really want.

[�]Hrexzav[S] [score hidden] 2 minutes ago
Only the first definition is used in most dictionaries.

This is WILDLY illuminating.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:03

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

WIBTA for asking my ex's daughter to stop calling me "dad"?

PatientArtist posted:

I was with my ex for seven years. At the time she had a 2-year old, and when we split, her daughter was 9 years old. She called me dad pretty quickly, plus we all lived together. I thought we'd become a family proper through marriage eventually but obviously things didn't pan out and we split. It was amicable and we're still friends.

Her daughter is 14 now and still calls me dad. My ex hasn't started dating again but I'm engaged to my soon-to-be-wife. We all get along but my fiancee doesn't like that kiddo calls me dad. I'm not her dad, biologically or otherwise, but I was a father figure for seven years (and even beyond this, I still kept involved in her life).

My fiancee wants me to put the kibosh on this because it makes her uncomfortable. We want to start a family of our own soon and my fiancee wants my undivided attention on our child. I can see her point although I'm indifferent to the whole dad situation: if she calls me dad, whatever, but I must relent to my fiancee's wishes because I'm not staunchly opposed to her thoughts or anything.

I'm going to have a sitdown with my ex and her daughter and split ties to focus on my own family. But would I be the arsehole?

# ? May 27, 2019 21:05

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

A tale of open relationship and sword, eternally retold

My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

quote:

So, me and my gf started dating roughly a year ago. It's a grey spot as to when we really started dating or I'd give an exact date.

So, three months ago, my gf comes to tell me she'd like to have an open relationship, experiment a little, etc. She's only slept with one guy before me, she wants to know what's out there, yatta yatta. Yeah, I was hurt, I expressed that I wasn't super keen on it, but she insisted. I figured she probably has someone lined up, and it's not like I plan to marry this girl, so whatever. Be free.

I lamented for a few days until my ex messaged me. She wanted to meet up, get some closure, cool beans. We go out, we talk a bit, she just got out of a relationship and I explain I'm apparently in an open one. She gave me a semi-pained look because she (and my gf) are aware of how much I value monogamy. We stayed and talked for a few more hours, I went to her place things almost got intimate and I stopped her until she mentioned it was an open relationship now. I nodded and didn't really not want sex, so we did it.

It really restored my confidence and helped me start to get into the open relationship thing. I'm a bi top so I ended up reinstalling grindr and haven't had a night where I can't find somethibg or someone to do. My gf and I occasionally had sex, and we still spoke to each other and stuff, but I never really mentioned who or how many people I was sleeping with. Afterall, she said this was about freedom, and I feel free as a bird. I still get to experience emotional comfort, affection, etc. With my gf and try new things and meet new people.

About two months ago I stopped feeling so depressed all the time and I started to work out more since one of the guys I've been sleeping with is really into yoga and cardio and asked if I'd like to get into it. I've lost a little over 20lb since and I'm still overweight but I physically feel much better.

Today, my gf shes really happy about the way things are and I couldn't have agreed more. I gave her a kiss and got up to go meet up with a girl my ex introduced me to. She really sweet, cute, overall a very fun person. The only other girl I've slept with since this started was my ex. I learned today I'm into a new kink and left after it was over. I walk into the house and gf is all over me. I start to undress, she start to give me head and stops 3 seconds in and asks me where I'd just been. I explain what happened and she gets up and tells me when need to talk.

I get dressed, sit on the couch with her, and she asks me if I've been sleeping with other people. I was like, yeah no poo poo it's an open relationship. She asked how many and I said I wasn't keeping track. Apparently that's the wrong loving answer because she burst into tears. She's only slept with two other dudes and it was just so she knew what her options were. I explained that she was free to do that and during that time I explored my options as well. She asked how many women I'd slept with. I said 2. She got mad and started screaming at me as to how I could lose count at two. I probably should have shut up right then and there, but instead I said, "Because I'd have to add the dudes in."

She went to the bedroom and cried for a while. About an hour ago she came out and demanded I: close the relationship, never speak to anyone I've been sleeping with again, and never talk about it again or she'd leave me.

????? I genuinely don't understand what she expected. She knew I was bi when we were just friends of friends. Why does it matter who I sleep with? I was genuinely enjoying being free like she told me to and I assumed she was too. It's not like I slept with her friends or anything, it was mostly dudes. And as much as I enjoy her companionship, I like the freedom this entails and I like having someone to work out with. I like learning about what I enjoy sexually. I'm having fun the EXACT way she asked me to. It's not like she wasn't sleeping with those guys frequently, so I don't get why she's upset. Why is what I did not okay?

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/btje2d/update_my20m_gf24f_wanted_an_open_relationship/

UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

quote:

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/btfeb3/my20m_gf24f_wanted_an_open_relationship_and_is/

So, she came home at 12am to tell me she'd completed her "last hurrah" and was ready to talk. When I asked her what she meant she stated she slept with someone else for the last time and she was willing to call things even. She restated the terms, meaning I'd lose my workout buddy, the sweet girl I met today, my ex who cheered me up, and a few other dudes who I now speak to casually who I've slept with. I said I wasn't sure and I had some questions for her and she was willing to at least talk about things. I asked her if the two men she'd slept with she'd lined up before and she said yes. She admitted she found them more physically attractive than me and that was her motivation for it, that she, "didn't want to live life never knowing what it's like." When I asked her what she meant, she meant sleeping with someone who was fit. I was a little hurt, but I knew she wasn't really "wrong" so to speak. I'm not fit, it's something I'm working on, but I'm a little upset that her motivation had nothing to do with exploration and freedom outside of visuals. That it wasn't the sex but my body. That it wasn't even my personality, but the way I look and how much I weigh. I'd like to take a second and point out I actually weigh less than her overall. I'm 6'2" and 255lb and she's 5'3" 305lb. I've never had an issue with her weight, even the things that we couldn't do as a result didn't bother me.

She admitted she didn't think I could, and I quote, "con anyone into sleeping with you". She went on to say she doesn't understand how someone would want only to sleep with me and not the emotional stuff. I won't lie, I got mad, and I said some mean and vindictive things to hurt her because I felt hurt. I shouldn't have lost my cool and I did. I've posted the mean things she's said, so I don't feel it's right for me not to admit what I said. I told asked her how she managed to get these guys to sleep with her more than once and that lying down like the beached whale she was and gargling on her own spit was far from my ideal sexual partner but I never decided I'd rather gently caress someone else because of it. Apparently it hit too close to home because one of the guys would't talk to her anymore and the other dude told her she needed to be more proactive in bed. She called me a human being and I told at least men want me to gently caress them and she started to crying. We yelled at each other for a while until it turned into me yelling at her while she cried until I left.

I realized how much more hurt I was about the whole open relationship thing and really unloaded on her. A lot of you liked to point out that I didn't plan to marry her, I want to remind you all this was 9 months into a relationship at 20 years old that I said yes. I'm not the brightest, but I don't think normally 20 year old men are planning to marry someone that early on when I don't have any real money or my own house and my car is a beater. I genuinely cared about her and before this I was planning to get an apartment with her. I'd saved up money and took her somewhere nice every month despite not having a lot of money. I'd participated in the relationship in ways I'd never felt compelled to before until she asked for an open relationship. I stayed up the first night alone crying because she didn't come home and she had the dude pick her up from her place while I was over and asked me to watch her place while she was gone. I kept thinking about if she got pregnant with someone else's kid and it tore me up. I didn't even feel like a man anymore. I said the next few days my ex messaged me, but when I look over the text and call logs it was two full weeks of me just going to work, coming home, and going to bed. I was hurt that my ex noticed how broken I was over this and that my girlfriend had bragged about how much fun she'd had her first night. It was a deep visceral pain that I buried with sex and I was so drat mad she had the audacity to be hurt over it. How dare she hurt me like that and then get mad at me for just to regain my confidence and make the best of things. I was furious, and it all spilled out at once.

I'm home, my roommate is home and he's making some cake and tea for us to eat and talk because I'm a mess right now. My workout buddy is coming over and offered to sleep (like, cuddling, not sex) with me tonight because he knows how much I was hurt about this. He's actually pulling in the drive way right now.

I'll try to respond to comments but I don't know how much longer we'll be up.

Tl;Dr We had a nasty breakup and I'm safe and at home with people.

Edit: I get she's my ex and all, but you guys really don't have to insult her weight. It was poor mannered of me to take that jab at her and it's not very kind. Although I don't think being overweight should be glorified (or normalized for that matter), but it's not very nice. Call people out for the things they say and the way they behave, not their appearance.

Edit 2: "he slept with 2 girls and some men from grindr. Obviously he's an incel" I think the word you're looking for is slut. I have low standards for looks and I offer to supply the weed in hookups, I could be 700lb and smell like anchovies and people would show up. Plus I offer to cook food for people and make breakfast for them if they spend the night, like I'm doing rn for workout bro since he has work in a few hours.

Final Edit: I love you all, except for that dude who told me my life will be an eternal hell for my sins and debauchery or something like that. I'm going to take a nap since I woke up to make gymbro food after like 2 hours of sleep. He'll be coming over later today to hang out. I'm much better but still very tired. Muah, be safe and use rubbers!

# ? May 27, 2019 21:06

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

areyoucontagious posted:

AITA for kicking out my 19 year old sister into the streets because she got knocked up and wouldn't abort?

I did a wolf whistle with the ages, then a second, louder one when I saw the super recently dead parents. loving cold-hearted yikes. And then we get to the part where the teenages expects her sibling to care for the child, so now they're both bad. But surely there's some middle ground between being a surrogate mom and kicking the sister to the streets? Like, I dunno, keeping the sister around and not taking care of the baby?

# ? May 27, 2019 21:07

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

WIBTA for asking my ex's daughter to stop calling me "dad"?

"Hey, kid, I know I'm the only father figure you've ever known, but I'm ditching you because I'm getting married and we might have babies someday. Well, cya"

# ? May 27, 2019 21:07

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

WIBTA for asking my ex's daughter to stop calling me "dad"?

Yep

# ? May 27, 2019 21:08

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

DemoneeHo posted:

A tale of open relationship and sword, eternally retold

My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

So good

# ? May 27, 2019 21:12

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Serephina posted:

I did a wolf whistle with the ages, then a second, louder one when I saw the super recently dead parents. loving cold-hearted yikes. And then we get to the part where the teenages expects her sibling to care for the child, so now they're both bad. But surely there's some middle ground between being a surrogate mom and kicking the sister to the streets? Like, I dunno, keeping the sister around and not taking care of the baby?

The sister doesn't sound very mature so if she does let the sister stay she will 100% have to take care of the baby.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:15

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

WIBTA for asking my ex's daughter to stop calling me "dad"?

poor kid is going to be on dating apps in 10 years replying to messages from goons

# ? May 27, 2019 21:17

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Jesus Christ people are despicable

# ? May 27, 2019 21:18

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

The sister doesn't sound very mature so if she does let the sister stay she will 100% have to take care of the baby.

I'm obviously not in that boat, but if I was willing enough to ditch her homeless, I'd also be willing to play hard-ball and walk out the apartment door and say if I ever see the child unsupervised I'm calling the social workers.

But I might be talking out of my arse here.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:20

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

LadyPictureShow posted:

My husband [21m] really likes to race cars. Is there a good way for me [19f] to let him know that maybe his confidence outpaced his skill level a little bit?

quote:
He has flipped a car over at least once. I thought for sure he was going to be all broken, but when his friend drove me out to where he wrecked he was just casually sitting on his flipped over car smoking a cigarette.

hahahah this guy owns

# ? May 27, 2019 21:22

Bardeh: Dec 2, 2004; Fun Shoe

DemoneeHo posted:

My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

5'3 and 300+ pounds and she's ragging on her bf's weight? I'm trying to envisage that weight at that height and I'm imagining a blob with little legs

# ? May 27, 2019 21:23

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

WIBTA for asking my ex's daughter to stop calling me "dad"?

Yes, you would be. But your fiance is already an rear end in a top hat for asking.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:24

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Serephina posted:

I did a wolf whistle with the ages, then a second, louder one when I saw the super recently dead parents. loving cold-hearted yikes. And then we get to the part where the teenages expects her sibling to care for the child, so now they're both bad. But surely there's some middle ground between being a surrogate mom and kicking the sister to the streets? Like, I dunno, keeping the sister around and not taking care of the baby?

Yeah the obvious middle ground here is to leave the infant at home in its crib for 8 hours everyday while the mother goes to school and her sister is at work. Throw a bottle in the crib for the little guy and leave him a change of diapers and he ought to be good to go i think?

# ? May 27, 2019 21:25

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

The IBS story is leagues about the other non-flusher stories in terms of entertainment value.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:25

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

The Bramble posted:

Yeah the obvious middle ground here is to leave the infant at home in its crib for 8 hours everyday while the mother goes to school and her sister is at work. Throw a bottle in the crib for the little guy and leave him a change of diapers and he ought to be good to go i think?

Just walk the kid on the neighbor's lawn when you get home and ignore her when she waves and whistles at you

# ? May 27, 2019 21:27

Whisk: Apr 17, 2008

Vim Fuego posted:

One of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder is that a person with bpd will automatically edit their own memories of events, mostly to omit the incredibly hosed up and hostile actions they perpetrate against loved ones. This results in them being unable to understand other people's natural and normal reactions to them- pulling back, ceasing to trust, and cutting off contact.

As someone with a narcissistic mother, it's fairly normal for them as well. She edits her own memory of things or has a perfectly rational explanation of why she was rude just that one time and it wasn't really that bad anyway was it? There's no hostility or anger involved at all, but you end up reducing contact anyway for your own sanity.

Classic mother move; I was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer and told my chances weren't great, and her first words were 'Why is this happening to me?!?'. She doesn't remember that, she does remember offering to help with anything (she didn't - I went through post surgery and chemo with only my spouse), she does remember that we didn't 'let her see the kids' during that period and she was mildly offended that we didn't phone her much (see: the whole chemo and the whole having a major part of my tongue and throat surgically removed). Oh, and I'm 10 years clear of the cancer now, have clearly defined boundaries when dealing with my mother, and am far happier for it. Oh, and she did invite herself on our honeymoon too.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:27

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

DemoneeHo posted:

A tale of open relationship and sword, eternally retold

My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

Yessss

# ? May 27, 2019 21:28

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

DemoneeHo posted:

A tale of open relationship and sword, eternally retold

My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

UPDATE: My(20m) gf(24f) wanted an open relationship and is now mad at me and wants it closed.

5�3� and 350?

# ? May 27, 2019 21:32

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Palpek posted:

Yessss

Saved the open relationship story for a close read instead of a skim and it�s so worth it. �I wanted to have sex with hotter people than you to make sure I wasn�t missing out.�

# ? May 27, 2019 21:34

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

It was 5 3 and 305 pounds imperial

# ? May 27, 2019 21:34

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

Whisk posted:

As someone with a narcissistic mother, it's fairly normal for them as well. She edits her own memory of things or has a perfectly rational explanation of why she was rude just that one time and it wasn't really that bad anyway was it? There's no hostility or anger involved at all, but you end up reducing contact anyway for your own sanity.

Classic mother move; I was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer and told my chances weren't great, and her first words were 'Why is this happening to me?!?'. She doesn't remember that, she does remember offering to help with anything (she didn't - I went through post surgery and chemo with only my spouse), she does remember that we didn't 'let her see the kids' during that period and she was mildly offended that we didn't phone her much (see: the whole chemo and the whole having a major part of my tongue and throat surgically removed). Oh, and I'm 10 years clear of the cancer now, have clearly defined boundaries when dealing with my mother, and am far happier for it. Oh, and she did invite herself on our honeymoon too.

My gfs old best friend(friend is my cousin) has bpd and that describes her perfectly. This girl is always in the middle of a ton of �undeserved� drama and problems but she is always perfectly innocent. Including her cheating on her ex husband and telling everyone she knows that he�s gay and has a boyfriend(lie). These people do whatever they can to justify their horrible actions

It�s easy to lie when you truly believe you�re not lying

# ? May 27, 2019 21:38

ParserGirl: Jun 3, 2005

I'm 5'3" and the loss or gain of about five pounds on me is visible. At 305 pounds her BMI is in the mid-fifties.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:46

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Only posting because the top comment made me laugh

Girlfriend only orgasims when we have role play daddy daughter, is this normal?
u/gameboytofou

quote:

To make this more intense, I look identical to her father when he was younger. I�ve been told that by her and all of her family members. We often have role play sex. She also had a special back massage that her dad used to give her. If I give her this massage during sex, she will instantly orgasim. The role play was originally her as I never had this fantasy before.

quote:

jacksonbeckner� 1h
this is some serious Freudian poo poo

# ? May 27, 2019 21:46

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

quote:

I stayed up the first night alone crying because she didn't come home and she had the dude pick her up from her place while I was over and asked me to watch her place while she was gone.

Jeeeeeesus.

# ? May 27, 2019 21:47

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

areyoucontagious posted:

Only posting because the top comment made me laugh

Girlfriend only orgasims when we have role play daddy daughter, is this normal?
u/gameboytofou

yiiiiikes

# ? May 27, 2019 21:49

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

(AZ) Scorpion infestation inside condo, everyone in household has been stung

quote:

I recently moved to Phoenix, AZ for a job and am renting a unit from a property management company. About four weeks ago I found scorpions on my external door and in the backyard and management came out and sprayed. I then found a scorpion inside my house and they came back and sprayed inside. I also hired my own pest control company who sprayed as well.

The company hired by the manager told me the only way to truly get rid of scorpions is to get a blacklight (they glow) and crush them (I have been doing this every night). Another company told me the unit needs to be resealed because scorpions can get through any crack a credit card can fit into through (it�s an old unit and there are gaps everywhere).

After the spraying I didn�t really notice a decrease in scorpions outside, but didn�t see anymore inside. A few days ago, however, I woke up to two scorpions in the kitchen. My dog grabbed one and was stung in the mouth. I knocked it away from him and it stung me in the process. I was stung a second time by a different scorpion on the foot while I was checking on my dog.

Since AZ has the venomous bark scorpion (most common type here, which these look like) I took my dog to the emergency vet. He was shrieking in pain and clawing at his face. He was given medication and has recovered. My stings burned like fire and provoked a mild asthma attack. Within a day my roommate was stung by a scorpion on his leg while watching TV, but didn�t have as bad of a reaction as I did (localized burning and numbness, but didn�t spread through the whole body like mine did).

I am currently not staying at the property for fear of being stung again. I have tons of pictures of the scorpions inside and requested that my lease be terminated early, but my property manger is not responding.

What is my recourse here? These things are dangerous and can crawl up walls and ceilings. I have found them in my clothes and towels. Based on my research and consultations, there is not an easy way to get rid of them.

Have you considered fire and lots of it?

# ? May 27, 2019 21:57

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Bardeh posted:

5'3 and 300+ pounds and she's ragging on her bf's weight? I'm trying to envisage that weight at that height and I'm imagining a blob with little legs

https://height-weight-chart.com/ has you covered with a 5'3" 300# entry if you really want to picture it...

# ? May 27, 2019 21:58

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Scorpions being all the gently caress over is one of the reasons I'm so glad I'm not in AZ anymore. I mean unless you're allergic you don't really have to worry about much except the searing pain when you forget to shake your shoes out and get stung on the foot, or when one drops from the ceiling, or.....so yeah. Burn it with fire.

I used to catch the little guys and kept them in an terrarium, they're much nicer behind glass.

# ? May 27, 2019 22:08

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

Scathach posted:

Scorpions being all the gently caress over is one of the reasons I'm so glad I'm not in AZ anymore. I mean unless you're allergic you don't really have to worry about much except the searing pain when you forget to shake your shoes out and get stung on the foot, or when one drops from the ceiling, or.....so yeah. Burn it with fire.

I used to catch the little guys and kept them in an terrarium, they're much nicer behind glass.

At least they glow under blacklight.

# ? May 27, 2019 22:12

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

DemoneeHo posted:

(AZ) Scorpion infestation inside condo, everyone in household has been stung

Have you considered fire and lots of it?

This is fine.

# ? May 27, 2019 22:20

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

DemoneeHo posted:

(AZ) Scorpion infestation inside condo, everyone in household has been stung

Have you considered fire and lots of it?

Catch them and release them in his office?

# ? May 27, 2019 22:20

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

areyoucontagious posted:

AITA for kicking out my 19 year old sister into the streets because she got knocked up and wouldn't abort?
u/typsick21

Man this is a misleading title.

# ? May 27, 2019 22:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 05:45

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Power Khan posted:

Catch them and release them in his office?

A+ plan

# ? May 27, 2019 22:46

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