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bibs popping up immediately after hot dogs are mentioned itt had me giggling this morning good job thread
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May 25, 2019 13:44
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sneakyfrog posted:bibs popping up immediately after hot dogs are mentioned itt had me giggling this morning good job thread oh good I wasn't the only one
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May 25, 2019 13:55
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Someone else posted it in the K-12 teaching thread. Purely for what it’s worth, I enjoy your stories a lot and I think everyone else does too. It’s the internet and out shouldn’t let some jackass ruin it for you. Or us. They got probated, everybody agrees it was a stupid troll and you should keep posting.
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May 25, 2019 14:36
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builds character posted:Purely for what it’s worth, I enjoy your stories a lot and I think everyone else does too. It’s the internet and out shouldn’t let some jackass ruin it for you. Or us. They got probated, everybody agrees it was a stupid troll and you should keep posting. 
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May 25, 2019 17:41
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Someone else posted it in the K-12 teaching thread. Well great! Thanks, internet assholes. If you really stop posting your amusing anecdotes, I won’t blame you. I’ll blame somebody else. Forever.
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May 25, 2019 18:48
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Fleta I hope you stick around and keep posting. Content: just got off the phone with my 6yo niece.  What are you doing?  Playing outside.What are you playing?I'm standing.I'm so proud of her... 
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May 26, 2019 17:53
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sneakyfrog posted:bibs popping up immediately after hot dogs are mentioned itt had me giggling this morning good job thread Also, Fleta, a couple different goons posted that image in a couple different threads, apropos of nothing (I was pretty confused when I looked at the reports queue), so I think whomever it was that said some other group adopted it as a grand troll hit the nail on the head. I don't think it was directed at you personally. 
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May 26, 2019 21:42
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May 28, 2019 07:18
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Overheard on the bus today: "Daddy, the most dangerous fish in the world is the Vampire Fish, and the largest is the Shark Fish, so please be careful" Maybe they were planning a fishing trip?
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May 28, 2019 22:57
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Turns out "vampire fish" actually exist. It's one of the alternate names of the Candiru. Yes, that Candiru. I suppose "most dangerous" depends a bit on what you are most afraid of. Also please come back Fleta. 
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May 28, 2019 22:59
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I am most afraid of something getting lodged in my dick, so yeah, I'd say that checks out.
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May 28, 2019 23:13
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At my preschool the kids have packed lunches. We supervise these lunches but occasionally the kids do have their backs to us. I wander around the room and I don't know what made me look twice at this kid, but he was looking... strange. Shifty. L, are you okay? L: Yes. What's up? L: Well... I put a bit of my sandwich up my nose. I take his hand and lead him away from the group. I get a tissue. You put your sandwich up your nose? L: Yes. Blow your nose please. He does so. The third time... a blob of snotty, bloody bread falls onto the floor at my feet. This is the kind of thing I take joy in telling the parent about. Yeah, he put some bread up his nose, so just keep an eye on it. (The last time a kid in my care put something somewhere, it was a stone into his ear and he had to get it removed at the hospital.)
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May 28, 2019 23:19
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I told my 3 year old to go play and let me poop in peace. He looked confused before asking “You’re poopin’ peas??”
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May 29, 2019 10:34
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eating only apples posted:
The moment when a kid goes quiet is when your mental alarm bells starts blaring.
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May 29, 2019 17:43
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I'm at a baby shower right now and the cousins and friends' kids are running around in the playroom and out of nowhere one of the kids yelled, 'YOU'VE GOT CAR INSURANCE!'
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Jun 1, 2019 20:56
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I recently moved to a new town and an old friend from high school lives nearby. She came over for a weekend and we explored the town. The next weekend, I had my kids and I was showing them pictures of the stuff we saw and did and she was in a few of them. My son asked who she was and I told him she was my “friend from high school”. He goes “daddy, aren’t you too old to be hanging out with girls in high school?” Yes son. Yes I am.
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Jun 2, 2019 10:52
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Thank you to all the people who have said kind things in this thread and sent me supportive PMs. There are three reasons I got squirrelly about the Chris Hansen pic: 1. Obvious reasons 2. We did lose a teacher this year over molestation accusations; I cannot confirm or deny because I never saw anything hinky, but my school is pretty tralalalalaala about everything, so for them to take action tells me there was a real problem. 3. I felt I was being followed/personally targeted, as the pic showed up in a few different threads I post in. I have received an apology from one person involved in the trolling and am pretty confident that it was a coincidence, but I hope people understand why I felt threatened. NOW HERE'S A STORY We went on colonias last week, which is an overnight "camping" trip. Basically, the kids get to spend the dAY doing summer camp activities and the teachers get paid extra to mostly hang by the pool. We also got to take the kids in there, though, which is how I found out that A1 is a super amazing swimmer! ME: "Wow, A1, you're really good at swimming." A1: "Yes, I am like a mermaid, but of a boy." ME: "A merman." A1: (Yes, just like Zoolander) "Merman...MERMAAAANNNNN!"
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Jun 3, 2019 09:14
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I went to Whipsnade Zoo yesterday with my sister, her husband and their two-year-old. There's a little steam train that rides all around the zoo, it goes through some enclosures and stuff, very cool. The little one was *fairly* excited about the camels, and relatively enthused about the elephants. But the highlight of the whole day for her was when she sprang up to stand on her seat, pointed, and shrieked, "TRACTOR!" It's true, there was a tractor doing something in one of the fields. Surprised the tour guide didn't mention it really. The exotic blue-fringed tractor.
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Jun 5, 2019 01:57
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poo poo; not just a common farm tractor; but the rare and highly endangered blue fringed tractor? I’m surprised it’s not the main attraction.
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Jun 5, 2019 02:06
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That's like when we took our three year old daughter to the zoo last year. I asked her afterward what animal she liked the most that we'd seen, and she thought really hard and then yelled, "THE BUMBLE BEE!" There had been a bee flying around while we were looking at the elephants. So glad we paid the zoo admission price so she could get excited about a bee.
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Jun 5, 2019 03:11
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A1: "Okay, things about France. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't do things anymore." I still have no idea what he was talking about. He just blurted it out in the middle of our silent reading period. G3: *singing* "I cry...I cry...I cry because I lose the iphone. I am Pikachu...Pikachu...Pickachu...he is a rata." Also, the most creative way of getting out of my "only nonfiction" rule during Wednesday reading time...G2 has been reading ABC books. Do we have a facepalm emoji? e: G3: "Ms. Fleta, you know gushy?" ME: "What?" G3: "Gushy. Is famous." ME: "Oh, Gucci? Yeah, I know." G3: "It's very money." ME: "That it is." Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 09:56 on Jun 5, 2019 |
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Jun 5, 2019 09:42
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:
"Alhazred, is that a star on your shoes?" "Yeah, there's a star on my shoes." "Having a star on your shoes is very good."
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Jun 5, 2019 10:04
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PacoTheThird posted:That's like when we took our three year old daughter to the zoo last year. I asked her afterward what animal she liked the most that we'd seen, and she thought really hard and then yelled, "THE BUMBLE BEE!" There had been a bee flying around while we were looking at the elephants. So glad we paid the zoo admission price so she could get excited about a bee. Kids are brilliant. Driving home from a week camping and asked the kids what they enjoyed the most (beaches, butterfly gardens, water mills etc ) daughter: "washing up!" Wife: "you can wash up at home if you want?" D: "don't be silly"
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Jun 5, 2019 11:33
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cakesmith handyman posted:Kids are brilliant. Driving home from a week camping and asked the kids what they enjoyed the most (beaches, butterfly gardens, water mills etc ) To be fair, you can sleep on the ground at home but you don't.
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Jun 5, 2019 11:40
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:G3: "It's very money."
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Jun 5, 2019 11:49
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My 7-year-old has been getting very dissatisfied with my parenting, specifically when I ask her to clean up all the art stuff she periodically leaves out on the dinner table. She told me she wished she could be in charge instead, and asked me why grown-ups are the ones in charge. I was really not in the mood for talking about this yet again so I gave a pretty short answer along the lines of "We're older, we know more about what needs to get done, and grown-ups being in charge is just the way it is." so she stormed off and drew this political cartoon of me gleefully telling her that adults are in charge for no reason  I'm a huge fan of the original draft of my face U-DO Burger has a new favorite as of 19:14 on Jun 5, 2019 |
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Jun 5, 2019 17:11
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My 5-year-old son adores Mario. Well, all my kids do, by my son especially loves Mario. He has no desire to actually play Mario games, but he enjoys building things in Super Mario Maker. A few days ago, he started telling me about some fan game he’s got in his head and I love every detail about it: - The game is called Mario 1000 - There are 30 levels in the game, mostly filled with Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Thwomps, and Chain Chomps - Bowser is loving dead, killed during Peach’s last rescue. The villain in this game is a giant spider with spiky legs named King Crow-vroom-vroom-vroom that shoots webs that in turn shoot laser beams, which shoot faster when he gets mad. He lives in the biggest castle. - This giant spider boss is so dangerous in fact that he kidnaps Peach, Daisy, and Rosalina at the same time. - Dry Bowser (skeleton Bowser) gets a small castle that is just a maze with a single mole as an enemy towards the end. - There are a bunch of “bees that are nice and cute and don’t sting you” that live in a giant beehive and give honey to Mario and Luigi to heal them - Mario and Luigi each start out with 90 HP, but their max HP is absurdly large. Mario’s max HP is 50,000, Luigi’s is 60,000, and my son’s is 90,000 because he is “more powerful than Luigi” (I... guess that means he's in the game too???)
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Jun 5, 2019 19:13
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U-DO Burger posted:My 7-year-old has been getting very dissatisfied with my parenting, specifically when I ask her to clean up all the art stuff she periodically leaves out on the dinner table. She told me she wished she could be in charge instead, and asked me why grown-ups are the ones in charge. I was really not in the mood for talking about this yet again so I gave a pretty short answer along the lines of "We're older, we know more about what needs to get done, and grown-ups being in charge is just the way it is." Needs the Kelly guy in the corner with a snarky comment, and it would be perfect.
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Jun 5, 2019 19:27
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Evil You-Face and 'no reson' would make for a hilarious avatar/title combo.
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Jun 5, 2019 19:34
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U-DO Burger posted:My 5-year-old son adores Mario. Well, all my kids do, by my son especially loves Mario. He has no desire to actually play Mario games, but he enjoys building things in Super Mario Maker. A few days ago, he started telling me about some fan game he’s got in his head and I love every detail about it: I would legit play this game.
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Jun 6, 2019 13:19
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So would I. Plus I like that your kid instinctively knows that Luigi is actually, fundamentally better than stupid Mario.
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Jun 6, 2019 20:31
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burial posted:So would I. Plus I like that your kid instinctively knows that Luigi is actually, fundamentally better than stupid Mario. That reminds me, a few weeks ago my 2-year-old daughter was using Mario toys to emulate a family unit. From left to right, we have Daddy, Mommy, and "Baby Peegee". The five different figures of Mario we own were all left in the box.  when I saw what she was doing, all I could do was 
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Jun 6, 2019 23:26
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Three days later the tractor is the only thing she's talking about. We got her a toy tractor and she's named it Terry. I think the next outing should probably be to a farm.
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Jun 7, 2019 00:46
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You know if you do that she'll be delighted by the clouds or something, right?
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Jun 7, 2019 01:29
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Then consider it mission accomplished that you've interested her in something else inexpensive to replicate for a bit.
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Jun 7, 2019 01:53
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For whatever reason my 2.5 year old nephew out of nowhere requested a seagull toy. He remained fixated on the idea for literally months, asking multiple times daily. Such a thing does not exist. He's onto dinosaurs and robots now, so we won Christmas by getting him Grimlock.
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Jun 7, 2019 07:01
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We had a seagull mobile gifted to us years ago, one where you pull the string and it flaps the wings. It was nicely made but terrified my kids so it never got put up.
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Jun 7, 2019 07:17
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Beachcomber posted:For whatever reason my 2.5 year old nephew out of nowhere requested a seagull toy. He remained fixated on the idea for literally months, asking multiple times daily. Such a thing does not exist. Etsy has a bunch! e: I was letting them watch a music video as a reward, got pulled away to deal with another class, and came back to see it had gone on to Katy Perry's "Roar," in which she wears fine jungle couture. ME: "Should I wear that to school tomorrow?" G3: *disapprovingly* "Miss FleTAAaaaa, you gonna be seeeeexxxxy." Today, G3 told me that when I move his desk, he wants to sit next to "ZERO girls, not anybody, not anybody who is a girl, not never, no." So now I know what to do when he's being bad. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 08:59 on Jun 7, 2019 |
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Jun 7, 2019 08:30
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left_unattended posted:You know if you do that she'll be delighted by the clouds or something, right? Oh she already has a toy cloud, its name is Cloudy. Her level of enchantment with everything is crazy at the moment, it's pretty great.
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Jun 7, 2019 16:29
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My mother recently told me the following story from her place of work: - Kid A: Mrs. M, Mrs. M! Kid B is tearing the legs out of a bug in the back yard! - MAM: (runs outside, grabs kid by the scruff of his neck) What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you want me to throw you on your back and tear out your arms, huh?! Would you like that!? - Kid B: *meep* Ever since, it has been: - Kid B: Mrs. M, Mrs. M! Please save this bug and take it outside! Also please don't tear out my arms. Where MAM stands for "my angry mom." Less of a funny thing kids say and more of a "funny outcomes of a kindergarten teacher tearing a kid a new one."
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Jun 7, 2019 16:37
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