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Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for not making a right on red


:murder:

No one ever bothers to think about the fact that there are others on the road besides themselves and the person they're trying to piss off. Which is also unsurprisingly why accidents happen.

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QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for not making a right on red


:murder:

This inconsiderate person is going to get himself shot

and the world will be better off

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

This guy rules. Gonna start doing this. WTF is your hurry???

i have places to be and people to yell at, and you're not one of them, if i yell at you then you're wasting some of my yelling breath and there might not be enough left for the people who really deserve it, you are being very inconsiderate

Lucid Nonsense
Aug 6, 2009

Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day
Listed on 'Best of Reddit'.

quote:

I’m going to tell ya a little story... I was 17, my ex bf was a bit older, 20’s, and we were going out for a couple years and I knew all his friends well. Military buddies and guys from his gym etc. I’m sure he was telling the truth that he was alerted from a buddy that “I was not the person he thought I was”, and sent a porn video to look at as evidence that I was doing him dirty... Mind you this was my very first serious relationship that lasted more than a couple months, and I was barely discovering my body and we were fairly vanilla in bed together, although perhaps I was an early bloomer compared to my boyfriend, who was a big big nerd and semi-prude, I was his second relationship and he was more interested in cuddling and romance than getting wild... a good boy, shy and chivalrous, old fashioned and way more religious and conservative than I.

This clip was of my doppelgänger, to the point that I was just trying to find a birthmark or something to convince him that I was not the actress in the clip. To my absolute horror and embarrassment, this young lady was providing a group of not two, not three, not even four, but five incredibly muscular, tall and aggressive men, all of a shared racial group, as it were, group-oral sex of the most communal variety, with adept expertise on the level of a Moulin Rouge prostitute, and a joyful and giddy disposition about the whole affair. Absolutely no reservations or hesitation, a consummate professional at her craft, as I recall.

I narrowly avoided being deserted by my hood man, a catch as he was. My recognizable birthmarks would not appear as closely as I watched her left knee and patiently scanned the hardest smut my innocence had ever endured whilst my tender love weeped.

Finally I was absolved because she had a different register and the few syllables uttered did not resemble my deeper voice and her accent was pretty much a clear cut Bostonian caw... Yah! Oh Yaaahh!

gently caress, I almost considered if I had some sex-amnesia or Jekyll and Hyde disease.

I don’t blame his boys at all for trying to get me tossed out with the hot trash, I have to worry about her body of work from here on out.


None of the comments address the spoilered bits, because it's Reddit.

DemoneeHo
Nov 9, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca



AITA for not killing a spider in the shower for my gf?

quote:

Been dating this new girl for about a month. She stayed over my place for the first time recently. This morning we were in the shower together. Suddenly she lets out a little shriek and says "spider!".

I already know what she's talking about, as this spider has been in living in the top right corner of my shower for years (or at least the same species of spider, idk). I apologized for not telling her earlier about the spider, and that she doesn't need to worry, it's harmless. She's not satisfied, tells me to kill it again.

Thing is, it has come to the point where i basically see that spider as a friendly neighbor, and I'd feel cruel killing it just to ease my gf's fears. I explain this to her (albeit maybe not as well as I am right now). She huffs, gets out of the shower and calls me an rear end in a top hat. AITA?

DemoneeHo
Nov 9, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca



DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for not making a right on red


:murder:


areyoucontagious posted:

Ok, given the username I’m hoping begging thinking it’s probably fake, but just what the gently caress, you are a child

2019 was a mistake


My (16F) boyfriend (18M) wants to share me with his friends. I want do, but I'm not sure if I should.
u/KnottyNymphette


areyoucontagious posted:

Fiancée has murder fantasies as a fetish and I’m concerned.
u/Alison11Nosila


:stonk:

So much :murder: needed to fix these situations

MasBrillante
Dec 3, 2005

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not killing a spider in the shower for my gf?

I mean, if you want to reap the benefits of dating an all creatures great and small kind of guy (which is what I have), this is what you get.

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

dudeness posted:

"The “reanimation” was through sex."

This guy has a real high opinion of his penis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiu1hPdJk-Y

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

MasBrillante posted:

I mean, if you want to reap the benefits of dating an all creatures great and small kind of guy (which is what I have), this is what you get.

Nah man. You want yourself a man who will fling a raccoon down a flight of stairs to protect your dog. gently caress some animals, for sure.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not killing a spider in the shower for my gf?

Just put the spider outside fucks sake, YTA.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

teen witch posted:

Just put the spider outside fucks sake, YTA.

I would not kick a cute little spider friend into the cold. Spider has been there longer than the girlfriend and is most likely cuter.

:3:SPIDERS!!!:3:

MasBrillante
Dec 3, 2005

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Dazerbeams posted:

Nah man. You want yourself a man who will fling a raccoon down a flight of stairs to protect your dog. gently caress some animals, for sure.

Omg no, raccoon murderer!

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Dazerbeams posted:

Nah man. You want yourself a man who will fling a raccoon down a flight of stairs to protect your dog. gently caress some animals, for sure.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Dazerbeams posted:

gently caress some animals, for sure.

Well well well

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Dazerbeams posted:

Nah man. You want yourself a man who will fling a raccoon down a flight of stairs to protect your dog. gently caress some animals, for sure.

Fling the spider down a flight of stairs

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not killing a spider in the shower for my gf?

Girlfriends come and go, spiderfriends are forever.

She's the rear end in a top hat.

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


I have a spider like that in a storage room. It never gets in the way and I assume it probably eats any pests that might enter the space, and it's not in the way at all, so I just leave it be. I respect this man and his shower spider arrangement.

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


That said, is 1 month of dating qualifies as a "girlfriend"? that seems like a stretch.

MasBrillante
Dec 3, 2005

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Mr. Lobe posted:

That said, is 1 month of dating qualifies as a "girlfriend"? that seems like a stretch.

Seems like he’s just being concise. On reddit, we should celebrate that.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
When I was working in Japan, I lived in a lovely apartment for the first four years. It was teacher housing, and it was scheduled to be condemned. Wall was cracked so that the bathroom was exposed to the outside, and I would freeze my balls off every time I had to shower in winter. The only friend I had in that apartment was the tiny spider who lived on the window ledge in that bathroom. He waged a crusade against the fruit flies that came around with each of the warmer seasons. I can't imagine that he is still alive, but he was my friend and I miss him.

f

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.
i have several spider friends in known locations in my apartment and we're cool with each other. the one that lives behind the front door is particularly industrious and always has something new captured in her web.

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
/r/relationships: by the way, hummus is gross

Collapsing Farts
Jun 29, 2018

💀
I don't know any spiders. I reckon it's because there are no flies here so they can't live in my home?

If they ever do get in, i think they'd just starve to death so it's probably for the best

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.
some spiders cause necrotic skin lesions, but there is a spider in brazil with venom that induces huge boners, so, it;s impossible to say if they are good or not,,,

Gone Fashing
Aug 4, 2004

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

Reiche posted:

I was stopped at a don't turn right on red intersection with almost no traffic and the rear end in a top hat behind me honked after 30 seconds or so, honked again like 10 seconds later, started waving out of his window to get my attention, then laid the gently caress on his horn while flicking me off. I happily ignored all of his provocations and just pointed at the no turn sign and gave him a thumbs up.

This pissed him off to some whole new degree because he backed up and peeled around the left side of me making a much more illegal right turn while driving over the curb separating the main road and the right turn lane. I did the gentlemanly thing and made the "fisting a butthole" gesture with the biggest smile I could muster as he passed by. This all took place within the span of a minute and the light changed for me like 15 seconds later...

I wish it was legal to I dunno shoot out road rager's tires or at least egg their windshields

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Gone Fashing posted:

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

google it

and then let us know what you find

DemoneeHo
Nov 9, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca



Gone Fashing posted:

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

I guess instead of making a circle with one hand and sticking the other finger through it, this guy sticks his entire fist through the hand circle

It's a lot easier to signal butt fisting with a red hanky, rather than what this guy is doing

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

tactlessbastard posted:

Well well well
more like petlessbastard

coronatae
Oct 14, 2012

I think he means this? Which I didn't know was called a Bras d'honneur

Chef Bourgeoisie
Oct 9, 2016

by Reene

Gone Fashing posted:

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

?

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Gone Fashing posted:

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

That is clearly a bicep that is very straight and in no way a penis

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747
haven't caught up on unread post, just saw the title and needed to ask, who the gently caress is badmouthing hummus. show yourselves

Barudak
May 7, 2007

nankeen posted:

haven't caught up on unread post, just saw the title and needed to ask, who the gently caress is badmouthing hummus. show yourselves

Guy with arabic wife who wont let the kid have a non-white name.

He is wrong about everything.

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747

Barudak posted:

Guy with arabic wife who wont let the kid have a non-white name.

He is wrong about everything.
fffffffffffbvgl;jhg

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747
ok now i'm catching up on posts and, in the usa you can turn right on any red light at your own discretion?? that is a nightmare

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Barudak posted:

Guy with arabic wife who wont let the kid have a non-white name.

He is wrong about everything.

Seriously, what's wrong with Diana? Considering Wonder Woman was such a hit and sequels are in the works, she'll probably have three other friends named Diana.

Did that OP specify what 'white' name her husband was demanding?

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

Barudak posted:

Guy with arabic wife who wont let the kid have a non-white name.

He is wrong about everything.

dude apparently considers "Diana" not white enough so he's apparently operating on a whole nother level of racism that most of us aren't even aware of

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747

LadyPictureShow posted:

Seriously, what's wrong with Diana? Considering Wonder Woman was such a hit and sequels are in the works, she'll probably have three other friends named Diana.

Did that OP specify what 'white' name her husband was demanding?
not to mention princess diana, the whitest woman who ever lived

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

nankeen posted:

ok now i'm catching up on posts and, in the usa you can turn right on any red light at your own discretion?? that is a nightmare

By default yes, unless no turn on red signage indicates otherwise. Except in New York City.

Also true in Canada except in Montreal.

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Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Gone Fashing posted:

what the hell is the "fisting a butthole" gesture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg&t=20s

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