Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for ghosting a woman cause she's a police officer and I'm a felon?

I met this woman about a month ago and she's honestly the best person in the entire world! She's always messaging me on instagram and snapchat, sending me food pics lol. She always brings me food after group runs. We didn't meet on tinder we met through a running group im in. We went on a date and I found out she's a police officer in the next city over. I had no idea she was a cop! None of her social media posts say anything about her being a police officer. She has an instagram but no facebook. After I found out I blocked her on instagram and snapchat. I cannot face her on our next group run I put myself in a tough spot. I did that because its a massive no no for a cop to be associated with felons. It was only a matter of time before she found out. Perhaps one day I can get it expunged!

quote:

*edit/info for clarification: I didn’t cancel the vacation and won’t. It just makes me want to not see her.

I think it’s disturbing that my sister-in-law, who has a long-distance, limited relationship with our children, had their names tattooed on her arm. She did not ask us how we felt, just posted a picture on social media once it was done. She has no children of her own, but is still in her child-bearing years. She is not a close beloved aunt of my children- they see her once a year and talk to her briefly on holidays. They never talk about her or ask about her between those times. They like her well enough, but she likes to lecture them and attempt to parent them, so a little of her goes a long way.

She is going to expect us to all oooh and ahh about this tattoo. I have nothing nice to say. I am not flattered, I feel violated. I feel like it glorifies tattoos (something neither I or their father have, though this isn’t about tattoos in general-it’s about tattoos of my kids’ names. To each their own on tattoos). More importantly, it glorifies her relationship with our kids. She barely knows them, and doesn’t spend time with them when we do visit. On our last visit, she sent our kids to McDonalds with her friend and didn’t join them. She later used a photo the friend took of my sons eating, and posted it as if she HAD been there. It’s crazy. Instead of the cost of a tattoo (this tattoo is huge BTW), how about a plane ticket to visit the children you claim to love so much? She talks about my children taking care of her when she’s in a nursing home... why would they? They will be busy with their own families, and taking care of their parents!

I was so mad when I saw the tattoo that I told my husband I wanted to cancel our upcoming vacation to see her (and their grandparents). I have been taking my anger out on him, which is probably unfair but I feel his lack of communication with them leads to this kind of crazy. AITA because I think tattooing my kids’ names on her body is weird? Am I supposed to feel flattered? I feel like if anyone is going to tattoo my kids’ names on their body is should be me or my husband!

quote:

So I’m fully aware this may be beyond this sub’s paygrade but right now I’m in this phase where I just want as many opinions as possible.

Anyways, we’ve been together 7 years, married for 3. We were both childfree when we met but slowly he’s shifted over to wanting kids. Our marriage over the past year has been extremely rocky as a result since we still love each other and don’t want to live without each other.

But our marriage counselor in recent months has been pushing us to find a resolution because things can’t go on without getting worse. My husband sat me down a few weeks ago to talk about trial separation. He feels that if he misses his chance for children he’ll only resent me years later and he’d rather separate now than cause more pain for us. I’m heartbroken to say the least.

Recently I saw a friend and she suggested something I’m afraid to bring up to my therapist or our counselor because I think they’ll call it crazy. She says I should just tell my husband I’d be willing to have a baby if he promises to take over all of the childcare, from infancy to teenager. This way we can stay together, he gets his child, and I still get to live my life as I’ve always dreamed.

I havent asked him yet but I’ve talked to my mom and sister. They said it’s feasible but they can’t imagine this system working out in the long run, and that I’ll probably get more people judging me for being an “absentee mom.” AITA for considering this option instead of separation?

QuarkJets posted:

AITA for agreeing to have a baby only if my husband agrees to provide most or all of the childcare?


I'm sure this will work out super great for everyone, especially the child

Cowslips Warren posted:

I worked in a lovely gift shop in a zoo once, and I will never forget when a coworker requested time off because her grandfather was dying, and her family needed her there. The owner of the zoo sat her down and told her that people die every day, and her family doesn't need her there, but what HE needs is her to come to work because otherwise we'd be short staffed.

The fact he said it all with a straight face. The dude should have won an Oscar in Human Shittiness.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Years ago I was a warehouse manager and I gave the owner of the company a heads up that my spouse's uncle was in hospice care and that at some point soon I would have to take a day for the services. Her response was to throw up her hands with a little laugh and say "It's only her uncle!"

Pirate Radar posted:

Is the NYT fair game for this? Because this is a real issue that many couples have to deal with, but this seems like an incredibly regrettable way to phrase it: My Marriage Has a Third Wheel: Our Child

In the article she compares her kid to Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For Firing An Employee After His Parents Died?

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company and one of our sales development reps parents passed away at the beginning of April, sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now the employee in question in very young 22 year old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him. His job is a high paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident we let him take a 1 month paid leave of absence from work and he's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, out reaching to prospects for the last 2-3 weeks enough since he's come back. Our whole mgmt team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we can't just wait that long.

We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news, he was very calm and rude about it. Told us to go gently caress ourselves and got up and went to his desk grabbed his few things and left. I thought this was very very unprofessional and extremely rude.

I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said myself and my mgmt team are a bunch of asses and pricks with no hearts.

AITA?

FAUXTON posted:

I thought it was pretty well established ....

Pick posted:

don't you tuck the condom into the foreskin?

Power Khan posted:

No. Lol

Much like psychedlic drugs, people have no concept of how it really is, until they're immersed in it up to the roots of their hair. The first 2 years aged me like dogyears each.

There's people who have twins.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for ghosting a woman cause she's a police officer and I'm a felon?

I met this woman about a month ago and she's honestly the best person in the entire world! She's always messaging me on instagram and snapchat, sending me food pics lol. She always brings me food after group runs. We didn't meet on tinder we met through a running group im in. We went on a date and I found out she's a police officer in the next city over. I had no idea she was a cop! None of her social media posts say anything about her being a police officer. She has an instagram but no facebook. After I found out I blocked her on instagram and snapchat. I cannot face her on our next group run I put myself in a tough spot. I did that because its a massive no no for a cop to be associated with felons. It was only a matter of time before she found out. Perhaps one day I can get it expunged!

Fatkraken posted:

PostNouveau posted:

I don't know why one would enter the center ring. Is that for cutting right across the whole thing without circling at all?

Power Khan posted:

My GF is trying to look like Emilia Clarke/Danearys and her obsession is pissing me off.

Power Khan posted:

No. Lol

Much like psychedlic drugs, people have no concept of how it really is, until they're immersed in it up to the roots of their hair. The first 2 years aged me like dogyears each.

There's people who have twins.

quote:

I've been married for 5 years. We have twin girls together now they are 2.5yrs.

My wife stopped working a year before the girls were born as we did IVF and hasn’t worked since.

My daily routine is pretty regular, I work full time in the city and am out if the house for 12 hours every day, 7-7 then back to put the kids to bed, then and a quick tidy of the house, the kids toys, all before deciding what to do for dinner and eventually relaxing for an hour or so.

My wife looks after the kids, takes them to playgroups, does loads of activities with them which is what we both want. What she doesn’t do is cook dinner, put laundry away, put bins out, generally keep the house tidy. She does clean and hoover but there is always a mess everywhere. Clean clothes pile up waiting to be put away. (I always have to put away my own)

She says that I should cook dinner half the time, and she should cook on the days I don't. but she doesn’t, often saying I’m not hungry on days she is supposed to cook. Furthermore, she says that I should be doing at least half of the housework. (Cleaning, dusting, hoovering, laundry, etc.)

She says that her looking after the kids is her job and thus, she works just as hard as me and doesn’t have time to keep the house tidy.

Tl; DR What I don't like is the idea of being exhausted from a full day at work, having to come through the door to a messy house, no food, and a list of things that need to be done, when my wife has been home all day with the kids.

Is she mismanaging her time?

Do other mothers of twins not do any housework?

Am I off base here? Or is my wife wrong?

Hoping for suggestions and input.

TIA

quote:

Tl; DR What I don't like is the idea of being exhausted from a full day at work, having to come through the door to a messy house, no food, and a list of things that need to be done, when my wife has been home all day with the kids.

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

Preparing food for the family is part of being a stay at home parent, but absolutely lol if you think you can keep (most) of your house clean in the first several years of having kids, twins no less

LadyPictureShow posted:

Is it wrong that I [36M] expect my wife [40F] to cook dinner for us and keep the house clean and tidy if she is a stay at home mom? She says that for me to expect this is unfair, her job of looking after the twins is hard enough.

Leon Einstein posted:

I've got a 2 year old and a 4 year old. At some point you just let the idea of a tidy house go.

Leon Einstein posted:

I've got a 2 year old and a 4 year old. At some point you just let the idea of a tidy house go.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Is it wrong that I [36M] expect my wife [40F] to cook dinner for us and keep the house clean and tidy if she is a stay at home mom? She says that for me to expect this is unfair, her job of looking after the twins is hard enough.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for ghosting a woman cause she's a police officer and I'm a felon?

sending me food pics lol.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I can only imagine what triplets are like. Seems impossible to babysit on your own without at least a sheepdog. No wonder Donald Duck is so cranky.

Xik posted:

What's the plan when he does what she suggests and spends all his time with the child instead of her? I'm sure having a mother that resents you won't cause any lasting emotional issues.

quote:

My wife and I have been married for 5 years now, we have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter. We're all Muslims but not strict.

Since we got married, her family (2 sisters, 1 brother) has been my own and I have loved them with all my heart.

Her youngest sister especially since I never had a sister of my own, so every chance I got I would get her gifts of things she likes and wishes, took her places she wanted to see and I was ecstatic to see her happy every time, I plan her birthday gifts months in advance, I would offer her guidance and advice whenever she was lost, more so after my father in law had passed away 18 months ago.

Things changed when she suddenly decided to wear Hijab to veil herself from me. (hijab is primarily to veil women from strangers or any man not related to the first degree)
This decision broke my heart since this means that I have to stop a lot of the things that I used to do like hugging her when she needs it, and generally any physical show of brotherly affection.

Understanding her decision to be more religious, I didn't show I was upset and kept on being supportive and caring although it was now limited to being verbal.

I know she cares about me and loves but to get out of her I have to get her to say it which sometimes feels not genuine.

I don't know if I can keep this up; caring and always trying to make her happy yet I get nothing more than the occasional thank you.
no more does she want to take selfies with me.
no more does she allow me to even pat her when she's down.
the option to even sit with her alone when she's over our home or when we're visiting to talk and such is now out of the question.

I feel like the amount of love and care that I give would be better directed at my daughter and wife.

What drove me to ask for help from you guys was a fight I had with my wife after which she decided to spend the weekend at her mother's place. After I apologized to them all her sister held my mistakes against me and forgot about all the good I did and all the care and love I gave.

Tl;Dr!
I love my wife's sister as if she was my own since I didn't have one, she loves me as her brother.
But now she feels so distant and caring and loving her is not returned in the same way and I feel emotionally drained.
Should I let go of her as my own sister?
Am I unreasonable in needing her to care about me and love me verbally or physically?
Are the emotions that I have too much?

Palpek posted:

The fact that she even came up with the idea of having a child and abandoning it for her husband to take care of means she should never ever have a kid, ever. They should really just split, he wants children, she doesn't, it's one of those basic irreconcilable differences. Even the couples therapist is pretty much telling them this with his "you should find a solution soon" which is the closest he can do without spelling it out but she's not getting it.

Piell posted:

I (28/M) love my wife's (29/F) sister (17/F) as if she was my own but she doesn't show me the same care and affection I give.

Fallom posted:

Wait I’ve seen this before. I think the solution is for the wage earner to give his wife a salary and then charge her for rent.