- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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Just imagine that you broke up with someone 3 years ago, and your friends/family are currently giving you grief about it. How bizarre
Bizarre is it?
Well apparently I 23M am a manchild and a shamer because I refuse to go back with 23F high school girlfriend after college
quote:
I apologize in advance if this is the wrong forum, I am new to reddit and obviously this forum.
Lori and I were boyfriend and girlfriend from 11th grade all the way up to the end of her Junior year of college. It was a great relationship (at least in my mind) and I was perfectly content and happy. She went to college while I went to trade school.
She only went to college the next town over, about 30 miles from where we lived, so there was zero issue with us seeing each other. I knew a couples who tried to make it work from opposite ends of the country.
Anyway to make a long story short at the end of her Junior year she decides that she doesn't feel like she is "living the college experience". I had no idea what that meant but basically once it was explained to me it meant that she was missing out on partying and hooking up with guys in her her dorm or whatever.
So she tells me she wants us to break up but promise we would get back together in the future because "I was her future". Whatever the gently caress that meant.
Anyway, not real proud of this but I was pretty broken up over the deal at the time. She was my first real girlfriend and I thought I loved her with all of my heart. (I say thought but at the time I know I did). So anyway as I sat there crying like a sissy I said yes. I was completely under duress mind you and I had no idea if that meant a week a month or as it turned out to be 1 year later.
Within 2 weeks her facebook was blowing up with photos of her with different guys. Then as time went on she would post photos of her drinking at bars with groups of people.
Basically at the 3 month mark I couldn't take it anymore and deleted her from everything I could. Within 2 days she is blowing up my phone wanting to know why I defriended her. Again being very naive at the time I let her guilt trip me into putting her back onto her facebook.
She would call me once a week initially to stay in touch and at first I got comfort from her calls (like she still cared or something), then I got depressed from her calls then ultimately I got pissed at her calls.
Anyway time as it does moved on. One month turned into one year and I hadn't so much as talked to another girl (not a whole lot of women in my trade school and the ones that were there were more manly than me).
She by this time had been through and I poo poo you not at least 15 different guys.
So one day at the end of one of her calls I just say gently caress it and decide that not only am I not doing this anymore but I am not siting around waiting on her. In fact at the one year mark I went from still pining for her to actually being done with her.
I know that she will just track me down if I defriend her again so I just shut off facebook and when she does contact me I tell her that I got rid of it. By this time she pretty much stops calling/texting me and I actually managed to go about 3 months this year without hearing from her.
That is until about two weeks ago. She sends me an invite to her graduation, okay that is not that big of a shock or that egregious so I just decide to not reply. Then last week I get a phone call from her wanting to know why I haven't replied to let her know I was coming. I tell her that I have to work (I'm out of trade school and am apprenticing for 2 years) and won't be able to make it. She seems kind of huffy at first but then kind of hurt. She asks me if there was no way I could be there and I tell her no and ask why is this so important.
This is when she drops this bomb on me. She wanted to have her future husband by her side when she graduated.
Are you loving kidding me????
I did not know what to say, hell I was speechless. I apologize for not being able to make it but then hang up. I thought that might be the end of it.
She shows up at my house two days later wanting to talk. Being blindsided by this I said okay. She comes in and starts talking about how me not wanting to make time to be with her was really upsetting to her. Asking me why I am not more upset about not being there for her. (okay it is here I need to say that while this may seem stupid, which it is, I used to move heaven and earth to be with her so this is the very first time I have not dropped everything for her). Anyway she drones on and on but then starts going into the plans she has for us this summer.
This is when I have to tell her that I am now seeing another girl. Granted she is younger than me but I really like her and I would like to see where this goes. Lori tells me that its okay to have my fun now but once she gets settled back home she really wants us to get started being together again.
I tell her that I am not planning on dumping this other girl and I had no intention of getting back together with her.
She went apeshit. I honestly thought I was going to have to call the cops on her, she started breaking my furniture and I've never seen crying like this.
This was last week, this week I have been inundated with her family and friends who take turns either pleading with me or berating me.
I tell anyone who will listen to me that I am not the one who broke up with the other one, she is. That doesn't mean poo poo I guess to anyone. All that matters is that I said I would get back together.
Now I am not only the bad guy I am literally the devil incarnate I guess.
I wish I could tell you I felt bad about all of this but simply stated, I don't. Me having to see her with all of these other guys initially tore my soul out of my body but eventually it led to bitterness.
Also they have been harassing the girl I am seeing. Lori sent her a very nasty message over facebook basically calling her a house wrecker.
Anyway what I am here to ask is this. Am I wrong here? I don't feel like I am but I guess I have had so many people go at me this week, including a couple of my own friends, that I would like some outsider perspective on this.
Simply stated I don't want her anymore. She in my mind threw away a beautiful relationship all just to go have sex with other guys and I'm just supposed to be okay with that.
Am I wrong?
EDIT: I completely forgot to tie in the title of my post. Her Sister called me a manchild for behaving like a 5 year old and a mutual friend of our said I was "slut shaming her" for doing what everybody does. Well I know for a fact not everybody does as I didn't do it. Every single one of the women who have berated me though have told me I am immature. I got so pissed at one of them that I said "well good, then she is better off without me and you should tell her that".
tl;dr: long term gf broke up with me to "live the college live" but made me promise we would get back together. Under severe emotional duress I agreed. Now she has had her fun and is ready to get married (I guess) but I want no part of her. Am I wrong.
Me [26 M] with my ex[26 F] of 5 years, left me to have fun, now wants back in my life
quote:
This is probably a very common problem on here but I need either some advice or maybe I just need to vent/rant or hell maybe just told I'm full of poo poo and to get over myself.
High school sweethearts, each others first real relationship, lost our virginity to each other, stayed together through all of high school and until our senior year of college.
I was madly deeply in love with her. I know it sound cliche as hell but I was willing to change my future goals/dreams/desires to fit her. She was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night.
One night after mind blowing sex she tells me that she has come to a hard decision. Long story short she tells me that she feels cheated because of being together so young in life that she feels like she has missed out. I try offering concessions about doing things together, whatever she wanted. Well she finally came clean and told me that it wasn't missing out on life activities that she felt cheated on but basically loving other men (she didn't say it that way but its drat well what she meant).
I'm heartbroken. I mean loving crushed.
I'm not proud of this but I had to go on anti depressants for a couple of years after that. I fell apart. I dropped out of college because I could not handle it (hey you don't have to tell me I'm a big pussy I know it already).
We separated and at first I made the mistake of keeping her on social media (facebook, twitter) and I swear to God there was a new guy almost every two weeks. So I finally got smart and just deleted her from everything. Not that it mattered to her but blocked her in every way that I could just to get her out of my life.
I moved, I tried to stay busy, I started a new hobby (RC cars if you can believe it, yea I'm just a big kid) and eventually with the help of my Doctor I started to get into shape. I guess I should point out that when I crashed I also just let myself go physically, I mean I gained 60 pounds and my diet was...well there was no diet to it.
I totally had no game with women, she was the only girl I had ever asked out and therefor never developed any skills in this manor. I did go out as friends with a couple of different people but it never really worked out, I'm still friends with them though.
Throughout the past couple of years I have ran into a mutual friend of ours (more her friend than mine) and I make it a point to not talk about her. But she (the friend) keeps bringing her up at the end of our conversation every time. Let's me know that she (my ex) was saddened that I did not keep in contact with her. I never really reply to her other than to say "well I hope she is doing well".
Fast forward to about a week and a half ago, I see the friend at one of our local markets and she is all excited to see me. Again remember we aren't really friends so this is odd behavior. She doesn't even let me talk because she is so excited that my ex is coming back to town and is going to be staying with her for a couple off weeks and that my ex has told her that she wants to see me.
I don't know what to say so I just say that maybe we will run into each other in town.
I try my best to avoid town that next week.
Both the friend and my ex show up at my loving door. I live in a new apartment so they had to get my address from someone else because I sure as gently caress didn't give it to any of them.
Of course I don't have a drat peephole so I open the drat door, had I known it was them I would have not opened it.
Anyway she loving jumps in my arms and hugs me like a wrestler and tells me she has missed me.
My head is swimming at this point and the desire to call her a whore is pretty overwhelming but I manage to repress it.
After a few seconds of B.S. talk the friend says that she is going to leave so we can catch up. I beg her to stay but she was pretty adamant about leaving.
So the next thing I know my ex is sitting on my futon talking as though nothing has loving happened.
I can't take it anymore and honestly was starting to have a panic attack, which I haven't had in almost a year and a half so I excuse myself to take a xanax (which I haven't taken in over a year but still had some left over from my last refill).
I come back and then she lays it on me. She wasn't just staying with our friend, she was staying there because she has an interview with a company in the next town over and was excited because she was going to be moving home.
This is the part where I want to shoot myself. She then tells me that she wants to get back together with me and that she has always loved only me. She said that her decision was right for her at the time but it was a pretty empty life and she regrets making that choice.
She was saying other poo poo as well but to be blunt I couldn't understand it, the more she talked the madder I got. She went of what seemed life a loving hour but it probably was only 10 min. and I just sat there. She is sitting there crying like I should comfort her or something because of how her life has been shallow. So she is giving me this talk and then she say's that she hopes that what she decided didn't hurt me to much.
That was all I could stand.
I just stood up walked to my medicine cabnet in the bathroom grabbed all of my pill bottles and several empty ones that were in there walked out and threw them on the foot stool in front of her. I told her that this is how her decision didn't hurt me much.
She cry's for few minutes and then tries to talk to me again and asks me what my life had been like.
Well I the proceeded to tell her, I told her everything and I didn't hold back. I told her how I had gained weight, lost my future career, was depressed and at one point suicidal.
Then she asked me about dating people. When I told her I hadn't even dated anyone she seemed stunned.
So she came out and asked me about sex and when I said that I haven't been with anyone else she gets hysterical with crying. She thought for sure I was hooking up as often as she had.
We talked more and she texted her friend to come pick her up. She kept telling me how sorry she was and wanted to come back and see me the next day. I didn't answer.
She comes over and like an rear end in a top hat I let her in. She tries kissing me but I don't let her, which she looked hurt but said she understood.
We sat and talked. I loving hate myself.
We talked for a long time, I'll spare you the play by play, but in the end we were hungry so we ordered a pizza.
She stayed till it was so late that I had to tell her I had to get some sleep because I had to work in the morning. As she left she tried kissing me again, I wish to Christ I could tell you I didn't but I kissed her. She loving smiled so big that we both giggled about it.
The moment I closed the door I started loathing myself. I just had a loving date for all intents and purposes with the woman who destroyed my loving life.
Today I have felt like poo poo all day long. I have sucked at work and I about wrecked my car twice because my head is up my rear end.
I am in so much drat pain that this poo poo hurts as bad today as it did those years ago.
Someone please kick me in the rear end and tell me not to consider taking her back. I am so loving pathetic because worst of all no matter the time, the drugs or even the hate deep down in there I still for some god drat reason still think I love her.
That kiss was loving electric to me and part of me can't determine if her smile was because she was happy because she wants to be with me or if it was a smile because she knew she got what she wanted.
I know she is going to be here later tonight and I am so afraid that she is going to break down the walls of defense that I have built up and I am going to make the biggest mistake of my life.
I will say this though in her defense, prior to the last night together she was the girl of my dreams and the person I wanted to live the rest of my life with.
Sorry this is so drat long, someone please talk sense into me.
EDIT: Our mutual friend came to my place this evening and said that my ex wanted me to have her phone number so I could call her because I still have her blocked from anything. She also wanted me to have something and proceeded to pull out a stuffed manilla envelope and handed it to me with another small white envelope that she told me to read first.
Basically the small envelope had a letter she had hand written today, she can't email me because I shut down that email years ago and she doesn't know my new one.
In the letter is her thoughts and hopes for us. She wrote a lot of stuff actually, all in all 6 pieces of paper front and back.
But the kicker was that she wanted me to have all of the letters she wrote me over the years hoping that one day she would be able to give them to me and that she had placed them in chronological order.
She also stuck in a couple of envelopes that had been returned to her because my address had changed without a forwarding address. There are literally dozens of letters some of which are much longer than the one from tonight and a quick glance shows me that she started this up almost the minute I moved back home.
I also found out from my Mother that she actually not only had tried to get my new address but actually showed up at my parents house looking for me almost 4 years ago and no one ever told me.
But as /r/boethius_tcop had predicted in her letters she called us soulmates and said she would do anything to prove herself to me.
I have made it through two letters from the past so far and I am stopping. I am making an appointment first thing in the morning to see my therapist again, this is just opening up all of my old wounds and I feel like every bit of progress I have made over the past couple of years is going out the window.
Edit 2 Hey guys I wanted to thank all of you for all of your messages, yes even those of you who called me an immature entitled fuckwad in a P.M. (you know who you are). I cannot believe the amount of replies this has generated and I have also received upwards of 30 direct messages to me, a couple of which are very heartfelt messages from a couple of older guys sharing their story with me. This all means a lot to me, it truly does.
I was able to get into my therapist today and it has helped a lot. I will post an update later if anyone is interested. I at least feel balanced again. I actually feel today like some of the weight I have been carrying for years has lifted a little. Some of it was therapy, some of it was her letters and a lot of it was /r/lateralus420 post from below and honestly some of it was from reading a site that was suggested to me called /r/theredpill. I'm not in line with a lot of what they are saying but some of that stuff hit home.
I am right now writing out my feelings, my therapist suggestion, and I am going to take the night and go see a movie just to get out of my apartment for the night. I'll be back later.
tl;dr: ex went to sow her wild oats, I fell apart, long recovery shattered by her re emergence into my life.
Me [22 M] with my ex [21F] after dumping me for the "college life" she now wants me back
quote:
We were high school sweethearts and I was completely and totally in love with her. I never strayed, I never even considered it. When we graduated I stayed and went to our local community college so I didn't have to commute and the job I was going for did not require a 4 year degree.
She went to a 4 year state university, which I was proud of her for doing and everything was fine for the first half of her freshman year.
But sometime after the christmas break I noticed her distancing herself from me. She wasn't able to text as much or skype hardly ever and then finally about 3 weeks before she was supposed to come home for spring break she informs me that she can't do the long distance and that she feels like she is totally missing out on "the life" and that while she loved me and would always love me she had to break up with me. She gave me the usual pleasantries of "we can still be the best of friends" to which I just told her no thanks.
Of course I was trying everything in my power to not bawl like a baby in front of her so instead I just acted angry and told her not to contact me ever again. She told me that she knew that was just me being upset and she would give me some time to cool off and then get in touch with me.
I defriended her, changed my email and even went so far as to change my phone number. However my sister was still on her friends list so sadly I got to see her spring break vacation photo's.
As the next few years progressed she tried several times to get in contact with me and every single time I managed to not talk to her.
I'm not trying to kid anyone here though, it was hell on me. I loved her with all of my being. Knowing that she was with other men nearly destroyed me and while I'm not proud of this I will say that I had to go to counseling to finally get some perspective and try and get past this.
I eventually went out with another girl but it just never worked out and I developed no attachment to her.
I focused on school, got my degree and got the job I was wanting and I love every single minute of the day when I'm at work because I am doing what I want.
But my personal life has been a sham. I don't know how to meet people I am awkward as hell whenever one of my friends tries to set me up with a girl.
Long story short about a month ago as I'm coming home from work I park along the street and walk up my sidewalk when I hear "Joe" (not my real name) and I turn around and there she is standing right in front of me.
My first instinct was to run and hide but I managed to get out a "oh hey Carol, I didn't see you standing there". (Carol is not her real name)
Small talk and other b.s. and she asks if she can come in. I asked why and she then proceeded to talk about wanting to make amends and she is tearing up as she say's this.
I say that she can come in for a few minutes. We sit and I'll skip ahead from all of the she couldn't believe I cut her out of my life to how she is done with her education and has now moved back home with her parents while she is looking for a job.
She just comes out and says that she made the biggest mistake of her entire life when she left me and wanted to know if there was any possible way I would ever consider taking her back.
She knew nothing about my life, for all she knows I have dated 50 women and was engaged. She said my family cut her out completely 2+ years ago and our mutual friends wouldn't talk to her.
I didn't know what to say to her because believe me there is a part of me that wants to laugh in her face and say "I knew you would come crawling back". But this was my girl. The girl I loved more than anything or anyone else. Sadly deep down, I still love her.
But I didn't say yes, I just said I would have to think about it. The fact of the matter is I am a very insecure person to begin with and when she started dating other men I could not get over on my own the jealousy. Counseling helped but honestly it didn't cure it.
I am torn because while there is a part of me that want's this very badly there is also a part of me that is already resentful and feels like now that the college party wagon has moved on and she couldn't convince any of the other future Doctors or Lawyers to marry her she's now coming back to her "stand by guy".
Also I don't know how to say this without coming across like an rear end in a top hat so I'll just say it and ask for people to forgive me. I've never been with another woman sexually. The girl I dated, we never got there not even close. So yea, knowing that she has now been with several guys and I've only been with her (remember she dumped me to go do this) I can see being a huge point going forward.
I guess what I'm asking advice on from everyone is this. Should I even bother to think about this? If I do how can I make sure that I am not going to resent her for what she did to me? How do I deal with the jealousy? If she and I ever got intimate again am I going to freak out because I know she's been with other men? Am I just plain nuts?
Any advice would be great.
tl;dr: g/f dumped me to have fun in college, now that college is over she wants to come back. I still love her but should I even consider this?
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Jun 7, 2019 22:59
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 17:26
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- Rotten Red Rod
- Mar 5, 2002
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That reminds me of the last time I played Smash Brothers, in college. One of the guys brought his gamecube to the common room and were playing on the giant 55" screen, offering a controller to anyone who walked by. I picked up, chose pikachu, we play. One of the other randoms keep jumping over my head, trying to do some down+B attack on me, and after about the 5th time I lightning bolt him for the attempt, he loses his loving mind on me. Like full on screaming fit because I used one of my attacks in literally the only way it can be used. 
Haha, this wasn't at San Jose State, was it? Cuz my story also took place in a college dorm common room on a giant screen.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:02
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Im noticing a trend in how much I hate these guys and their problem.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:03
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- coolskull
- Nov 11, 2007
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Bizarre is it?
Well apparently I 23M am a manchild and a shamer because I refuse to go back with 23F high school girlfriend after college
Me [26 M] with my ex[26 F] of 5 years, left me to have fun, now wants back in my life
Me [22 M] with my ex [21F] after dumping me for the "college life" she now wants me back
all three of these men are depressingly passive
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Jun 7, 2019 23:07
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- MasBrillante
- Dec 3, 2005
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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all three of these men are depressingly passive
I think “depressingly passive” is one of the biggest categories of r/relationships OPs.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:10
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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AITA for taking my aggressive dog to the dog park?
quote:My dog makes other dogs deeply uncomfortable by barking at them and chasing them; no biting, but being an aggressive rear end in a top hat. I spent 6 months trying to train her, then I hired a dog trainer, but it didn't improve.
Let's call her Dogbutt. She is a small-medium doggo, an Aussie Cattledog.
Here are the measures I take to coexist with other doggo owners while I'm out with her:
* She stays on a lead.
* She wears a basket muzzle. She's never attacked or bitten but I want to make sure other dogs are safe.
* I keep her out of enclosures at the dog park unless there are no other dogs there, in which case I let her in off the lead in the enclosure with the gates shut, and leave the moment someone else wants to use it.
* If there's other dogs around I avoid them as much as possible.
We had a problem today with another owner and it's making me wonder if I'm being an rear end in a top hat anyway.
One of the dog parks I like to take her to has two enclosures. The smaller one is almost always empty, so I like to go in and let Dogbutt off the lead so she can exercise until someone else wants it.
Today I saw another owner nearby. He had a big golden retriever, and he was hanging around nearby, but he didn't seem to be going in and his dog was tied up.
So I took Dogbutt in and let her off the lead after shutting the gate.
Hadn't taken three steps when Dogbutt started going absolutely ballistic. The golden's owner had untied it and it was barking at Dogbutt through the fence. I don't know who started it for sure, but LBR, it was probably Dogbutt.
Owner: "Doesn't she like other dogs?"
Me: "No, sorry, she's aggressive."
Owner: "Then why are you in there?!"
Me: "Oh, sorry, I thought you didn't want to use this! We'll leave."
Owner: "No, I mean, why are you here? It's for all dogs. Why would you bring her if she doesn't get along with other dogs?"
I didn't argue, just dragged her away and left.
To answer his question -- I take her to the dog park and to places where there are other dogs because the only places where I am allowed to take my dog are places where other people also take their dogs. That's just how it is; if dogs are allowed, people will take their dogs there.
But what he said is now bothering me and I'm wondering if I'm being an rear end in a top hat by taking her out anyway.
AITA?
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Jun 7, 2019 23:13
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- Sjs00
- Jun 29, 2013
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Yeah Baby Yeah !
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Wow. It's probably just me but its not as if these women had gotten pregnant / gotten married and divorced. They sucked a bunch of dicks in college. It could have been substantially worse overall. I don't really see the issue
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Jun 7, 2019 23:13
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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Are these elaborate fake posts just to lead people to red pill, or is this a thing that actually happens?
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Jun 7, 2019 23:17
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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AITA for being irritated/offended when my sibling (FTM nonbinary) refers to themself as a gay man?
I am a man who is with a woman and a random observer might think we are both straight, AITA if I give my sibling enormous poo poo for being in a similar situation?
YES, loving YES, YES
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Jun 7, 2019 23:20
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Are these elaborate fake posts just to lead people to red pill, or is this a thing that actually happens?
A red piller would never make themselves look this pathetic.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:22
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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Wow. It's probably just me but its not as if these women had gotten pregnant / gotten married and divorced. They sucked a bunch of dicks in college. It could have been substantially worse overall. I don't really see the issue
They thought they had a future together, they never dated anyone else, and this is their first breakup. They were explicitly told that they were being broken up with so she can gently caress other people.
They are under no obligation to take the girl back.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:23
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- LGD
- Sep 25, 2004
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Are these elaborate fake posts just to lead people to red pill, or is this a thing that actually happens?
you're asking if people deciding they want to sleep around and then either wanting to keep their original partner around as a backup or simply regretting the decision after that partner decides they're not interest in getting back together is a thing that actually happens?
have you somehow missed ever reading any poly relationship posts? there's no vast incel conspiracy, it's just a fairly routine way people are lovely
e:
Wow. It's probably just me but its not as if these women had gotten pregnant / gotten married and divorced. They sucked a bunch of dicks in college. It could have been substantially worse overall. I don't really see the issue
this is dumb as poo poo
its got gently caress-all to do with some sort of notional "purity" or intensity of/degree of entanglement with past relationships with other people or w/e, and everything to do with their demonstrated disregard for commitment to the relationship with their partner and the feelings involved
nobody is under any obligation to accept the incredibly insulting assumption that they'll be the safe fallback plan when attempts to "upgrade" don't pan out
LGD fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Jun 7, 2019
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Jun 7, 2019 23:24
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Fartwife guy updated again:
quote:UPDATE 2
So we didn't wait to talk about it, just texted (It's Friday and we're both office workers, me more so, so hey, gently caress productivity)
When I asked why she continued to dog me with her farts, she said that she didn't really realize how serious I was because I'm always calm about it, and kinda funny about it in the extremely dry and deadpan way that I am. She thought we were basically playing a game and she was teasing me. Looking back on it I can see (KINDA) her POV. she did sincerely apologize for the WHOLE thing. again said she cant even understand her reasoning for doing the incident. She said that she yelled at me because I've NEVER yelled at her before, and because I'm way way bigger than her ( 5 even vs 6'4) that she got scared and lashed out at me. She acknowledged I had good reason to yell, and thanked me again for apologizing about name calling.
so basically this whole thing was kinda good for us in a weird disgusting way? You can never stop working on your marriage, and we very clearly were having trouble communicating. She promised to never fart around me again, I said that's not really reasonable, I just don't want her farts to be a joke and production with me. Her siblings and parents are all nasty farters too, and family get togethers are always painful for me for this reason, but hell, that's their weird poo poo, we all have something I guess. She thanked me for always being the mature one in our relationship, and that she will do a better job in future about respecting my boundaries, among other things.
So all is well Redditors, good thing I didn't divorce her, eh?
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Jun 7, 2019 23:27
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- InediblePenguin
- Sep 27, 2004
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I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
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"I at least feel balanced again. I actually feel today like some of the weight I have been carrying for years has lifted a little. Some of it was therapy, some of it was her letters and a lot of it was /r/lateralus420 post from below and honestly some of it was from reading a site that was suggested to me called /r/theredpill. I'm not in line with a lot of what they are saying but some of that stuff hit home. "
just a site that was suggested to me... just a site... I've never heard of it and I mean obviously I'm not in line with everything they're saying but they're yanno not bad they're pretty smart I like some of what they said it's just a site and I have no connection with them pre-existingly and this is not a false flag attempt
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Jun 7, 2019 23:29
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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AITA for taking my aggressive dog to the dog park?
quote:an Aussie Cattledog.
I have spotted your problem, your dog is probably an rear end in a top hat because you don't properly give him enough to do.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:30
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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I am a man who is with a woman and a random observer might think we are both straight, AITA if I give my sibling enormous poo poo for being in a similar situation?
YES, loving YES, YES
Did he give him enormous poo poo or was he just annoyed when told " you don't know what it's like to face discrimination" when he'd been b sent to conversion camp.
I really don't understand a lot of trans issues. I don't understand whats happening with the ftm brother. I don't understand how what living as a man means when there's no medical intervention at all. I am not a piece of poo poo so I'll respect it and use the correct pronouns but I honestly don't get it.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:30
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- Sjs00
- Jun 29, 2013
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Yeah Baby Yeah !
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To paraphrase Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you that you are not a priority for them, believe them the first time. DON'T MARRY THEM"
Right. The guys shouldn't marry them.
Unless their is some kind of large dowry type situation or she has a 6 figure career lined up. The women lean on the men emotionally he should get to lean on them financially.
They thought they had a future together, they never dated anyone else, and this is their first breakup. They were explicitly told that they were being broken up with so she can gently caress other people.
They are under no obligation to take the girl back.
Agreed. They're not obligated at all.
..
I suppose if I were in a similar situation, as a male, I would [redacted]
That might be going a little bit overboard though
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Jun 7, 2019 23:31
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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just a site that was suggested to me... just a site... I've never heard of it and I mean obviously I'm not in line with everything they're saying but they're yanno not bad they're pretty smart I like some of what they said it's just a site and I have no connection with them pre-existingly and this is not a false flag attempt
Oh cool, the "everything is a false flag" crew is back.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:34
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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you're asking if people deciding they want to sleep around and then either wanting to keep their original partner around as a backup or simply regretting the decision after that partner decides they're not interest in getting back together is a thing that actually happens?
Yeah I dunno it never happened to me or any of my friends so yeah I'm asking if people really do this.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:34
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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I have spotted your problem, your dog is probably an rear end in a top hat because you don't properly give him enough to do.
It should be illegal to buy a cattledog/sheepdog unless you show up to the final purchase with at least 3 cows/sheep/llamas? etc.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:41
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- Rotten Red Rod
- Mar 5, 2002
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Bizarre is it?
Well apparently I 23M am a manchild and a shamer because I refuse to go back with 23F high school girlfriend after college
Me [26 M] with my ex[26 F] of 5 years, left me to have fun, now wants back in my life
Me [22 M] with my ex [21F] after dumping me for the "college life" she now wants me back
Ok on the one hand a girl coming back to a guy like nothing happened after a years-long break is pretty callous, but JESUS gently caress, ruining your life because of your first breakup? You have WAY more ingrained issues than just her, dude(s).
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Jun 7, 2019 23:41
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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Ok on the one hand a girl coming back to a guy like nothing happened after a years-long break is pretty callous, but JESUS gently caress, ruining your life because of your first breakup? You have WAY more ingrained issues than just her, dude(s).
This may surprise you, but people can't usually think their feelings away.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:44
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- Rotten Red Rod
- Mar 5, 2002
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This may surprise you, but people can't usually think their feelings away.
Yeah, I know, I've seen a similar situation happen firsthand, sadly (a guy's life falling apart because he got broken up with). Just boggling at the extent of it.
That and the 2nd poster seems to suggest she was the sole cause of his issues. Ahhhhh, haha, no way.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:48
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- LGD
- Sep 25, 2004
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Yeah I dunno it never happened to me or any of my friends so yeah I'm asking if people really do this.
well that's probably because your social circle isn't full of immature/abusive/codependent/otherwise dysfunctional relationships and (taking a wild guess based on general forum demographics) you're probably a bit past your teen-years/early 20's where that stuff is both more common and hasn't been self-selected out of the people you maintain relationships with
again, have you somehow missed reading the dysfunctional poly stories? there's not that much daylight between someone deciding they want to unilaterally open a relationship while still expecting to use their former partner for emotional/financial support/etc., and someone deciding that of course their partner will be fine with them loving off for a few years (literally) before they return to settle down, its just a difference in the self-justifications used and life-stage (since college and the inevitable breakup of HS relationships or ill-advised LDR followed by inevitable breakup are somewhat more specific)
e: that second dude has some problems though
LGD fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Jun 7, 2019
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Jun 7, 2019 23:49
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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Yeah I dunno it never happened to me or any of my friends so yeah I'm asking if people really do this.
The answer to this question is always yes. It doesn't matter what "this" is. The answer is always yes.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:52
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- InediblePenguin
- Sep 27, 2004
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I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
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Oh cool, the "everything is a false flag" crew is back.
I finally get to be in a crew how exciting
e: one thing equals everything
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Jun 7, 2019 23:54
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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I sometimes regret meeting my wife the first week of Freshman year. Never got to date a tall redhead with green eyes and glasses.
Then I look at myself and laugh all the way to the bank.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:54
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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well that's probably because your social circle isn't full of immature/abusive/codependent/otherwise dysfunctional relationships and (taking a wild guess based on general forum demographics) you're probably a bit past your teen-years/early 20's where that stuff is more common
Yeah I'm 36 but I was in my twenties once. I never saw this sort of thing happen. Like I've seen people break up and get back together but I was never aware of anyone doing the "I'm going to gently caress other people in university, but then we'll get married when I'm done" thing.
The irony is if they had just broken up with the guy instead of this weird marriage pact all the guys probably would have taken them back.
Unless the guy moved on and found someone new, you're probably right.
again, have you somehow missed reading the dysfunctional poly stories?
No those are hosed up too but somehow less delusional. Polly seemed like way less of a thing when I was in my twenties. Not sure if that's just a perception or if it's actually true.
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Jun 7, 2019 23:57
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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The irony is if they had just broken up with the guy instead of this weird marriage pact all the guys probably would have taken them back.
Yeah, thats the stories Im familiar with. The woman dumps the dude, does whatever she wants, comes back and is like "hey obviously nobody but me will ever love you lets get married" and somewhere in the background the song Self Esteem starts playong when the guy says yes.
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Jun 8, 2019 00:03
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- Xenocides
- Jan 14, 2008
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This world looks very scary....
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18/M here. What does one DO in a relationship and what do they consist of?
quote:I've just started seeing this girl (17). I asked her out on a date and it happened four days later. I took her bowling, we ate dinner, then finished with a movie. We did A LOT of talking and I think I'm really interested in her. We have yet to go on date #2, though I did go over to her house to play Settlers of Catan, which I already do with that family. Question is, I don't know what to do or where to go from here. See, this is my first relationship.
Technically I've been in one previous relationship, but this is how it went: in ninth grade, me and this girl from another school started talking. She seemed to want to be in a relationship and hinted at it but didn't make a move so I did. Our three week relationship consisted of use hugging and cuddling, but that's about it. There wasn't a lot of talking outside of physically being together. She broke up with me because "my dad doesn't like you." I found out later that I was just a rebound in between two real boyfriends, and she was just really needy and I was a prime target, having never been in a relationship before.
This affects how I interact with this new girl. I REALLY like hugging (I could do it for 10-15 minutes at a time easy), but I just don't know what people in relationships actually do. All I can think of is doing something intentional (hey, wanna do this?) and/or talking about each other. So I guess my real question is 'what is a relationship and how do I do one?
TL;DR never been in a real relationship before. What do they consist of?
Google “kissing”.
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Jun 8, 2019 00:04
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- PostNouveau
- Sep 3, 2011
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VY till I die
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Grimey Drawer
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18/M here. What does one DO in a relationship and what do they consist of?
Google “kissing”.
Gotta be Utah
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Jun 8, 2019 00:05
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Cant wait for a few months from now when he googles what is love?
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Jun 8, 2019 00:07
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 17:26
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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Haha, this wasn't at San Jose State, was it? Cuz my story also took place in a college dorm common room on a giant screen.
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Jun 8, 2019 00:10
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Jun 7, 2019 22:59
