TheMaskedUgly posted:

Guy drops a 90-bomb, I'm not talking poo poo, I'm taking notes

Motherfucker posted:

The first step is to: become an unhinged lunatic with only superficial charm.

quote:

I am looking at moving on from my job and have asked my manager to be my referee. I have always gotten on quite well with my manager and would consider him as a good acquaintance. My manager is a powerful and well-known man in my industry.

My manager and I have gone out for coffee during our lunch breaks at work. I have seen him do this with other colleagues (male and female), and I commonly have a coffee with others too. The point of these meetings was to discuss my options/future and reference details without being overheard at work. We also exchanged numbers so we could communicate about my job applications.

Everything was above board for months. We rarely contacted each other and every bit of contact was about work.

He recently confided in me that his marriage is on the rocks. This seemed more like him just needing someone to speak to. I listened to him as a friend/decent human being.

But things have now changed. He texts me constantly, has bought me chocolates, and asks me to hang out on days off. He says that he misses my company and offers to do big favours. He says that he wishes he was younger to have “a second chance” and said that he knew from the moment that he met me that I was “special”. He described the initial phase of meeting me as “falling”. He has tried holding my hand too.

I’ve started distancing myself. I keep interaction to the absolute minimum at work. Ive made it clear that I’m not interested (and don’t respond to texts at all at times) and that he is a married man. The problem is that I feel that if I slight him by asking him to back off then he could potentially ruin my career. I have started sourcing others references and seemed to have secured 2 good references but I still feel that I have to be extremely careful not slight him for fear of burning bridges. It feels like I am walking on eggshells trying to ensure that I don’t rebuff him in a way that causes him to be insulted/angered.

How to I handle this without burning my career?

TL:DR - Married manager is my reference/has a lot of power in my industry. He seems interested in me. Feel that I have to tread very carefully while turning him down. Worried that he could ruin my career if I rebuff his advances.

Power Khan posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (24F) of 2 years doesn't want to get rid of a bedbug infestation.
We just signed a lease last month to start living together in a new place. Well, we had a housewarming party that got a bit bigger than we expected, with some friends of friends we didn't know showing up. More than 20 people in total. We suspect the bedbugs came from someone at the party. We've had them for more than a week now.

My girlfriend refuses to cooperate in getting rid of them. Because she doesn't believe it's okay to do so. I'd always known she was a very compassionate person and truly views all living things as precious and important, volunteers for a few humanitarian causes like animal shelters and loves nature. But I didn't know it went this far, that eradicating pests like this is wrong. This is very extreme to me.

Meanwhile, we are getting eaten alive every night and they just keep multiplying. I'm out of patience, I've asked her many times how she can stand living with this, she just says it's "annoying" but she couldn't bring herself to intentionally kill anything. Even a loving bedbug.

Today I decided I was done with this bullshit. I called an exterminator and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. When I told her, she flipped. I said I didn't care what she thought, she could help me pack up everything to prepare or not but it was happening. Then once I went to work, she cancelled it behind my back! She texted me to tell me. She said she doesn't want to fight with me, that we should be able to "live in harmony with each other and other creatures"!!! She also said she's really stressed due to our disagreement about it, but I'm stressed from having the bedbugs!

Now I'm about to go home to our infested apartment and confront her. Please help. I feel like my life has turned into some realm of insanity. How do I make her understand that the pest control needs to happen??

TL;DR: My girlfriend sabotaged my efforts to exterminate bedbugs in our home because she strictly believes it's wrong to kill them. I don't know how to make her stop or compromise.

QuarkJets posted:

AITA for kicking my girlfriends friends out over my laundry habits?
Bad friends.

Xik posted:

Stop 👏 putting 👏 your 👏 dick 👏 in 👏 things 👏

ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

If this one doesn't end with an update saying he dumped his GF I'll be very disappointed.

The lady with the idiot dick water husband should do the same.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for forbidding my Father in law from seeing my kids until he stops his behavior?

My father in law is the king of passive aggressive comments and passing judgement on other people's lives. He particularly disapproves of the fact that I work, send the kids to daycare, and expect my husband to contribute to the household equally in spite of the fact that he makes more than I do. If my father in law had it his way, I would be waiting on my husband and kids hand and foot at all times.

His recent tactic of snarky comments has been to say that everything we own or pay for is done with my husband's money. If I buy my husband a gift, FIL says, "Is it really a gift if you're spending his money?" If I pay for my FIL's coffee, he says, "well, really your husband is paying for this." It's annoying and frustrating. I tried being snarky back, didn't work. I tried talking to him about it and he just pretended he didn't know what I was talking about.

The final straw was that my kids have started saying it. I mentioned to my husband that I was going to get my hair cut and my son pipes up with, "so you're going to go waste dad's money on yourself?" and both kids start laughing. My husband told them that they were being rude and they defended themselves by saying that grandpa says it all the time! Apparently he's taken to telling the kids behind my back that I'm wasting my husband's money on myself every time that I buy anything for myself. One of my kids straight up called me greedy and selfish.

I'm livid and I want to ban my father in law from seeing my kids until he admits to what he's been doing, apologizes, and actually stops doing it. My husband is onboard for the most part, but his mother and siblings are telling us that this is just how he is and it's not that bad and we can just teach our kids otherwise. Are we assholes if we kick him out of our kids lives until he stops being such a jerk and poisoning my kids against me?

christmas boots posted:

“No,” I say, gazing wistfully at the American flag.

quote:

Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now and we love each other and are happy together. He's an introvert and I'm an extrovert but we have amazing chemistry and compatibility. The only issue is that he has ADHD so he forgets things that are completely normal and it makes me feel bad sometimes. For example, he was supposed to go to his friend's parents place for Easter but it was just a day trip. All of a sudden they decided to go an entire weekend and I only found out on Friday night after he already got there. He forgot to tell me about the change in plan and I was definitely pissed but not at all surprised. He's not a great texter and forgets things all the time. I just let it go but it's so hard to deal with, at times. Any advice on handling this? I don't want resentment to build up. Otherwise he's a wonderful, loyal bf and I want to be with him.

TL;DR: boyfriend (24 m) has ADHD, forgets to tell me stuff , I'm (24f) finding hard to deal with it sometimes in an otherwise great relationship. Advice ?

quote:

edited for attempt at formatting First, a little backstory... My new wife comes from a very upper-middle class family (Her dad started with nothing and is worth a few million, I assume, from construction business he started) and never wanted for anything, so her son (22 yr old) was raised the same way. I, on the other hand, come from the lower end of the middle class spectrum and was taught the value of things and their potential value to others.

We live in an upper-middle class suburb where nearly all of the children are the epitome of the "self-entitled milennial" variety. An extremely well-to-do family friend that views cars as disposable objects overheard the 16yo stepson and his best friend discussing his lack of car and said "I just bought a new Mercedes last week, you can have my old car." So he acquired a 10 year old Audi for zero cost.

Over the last 6 years, he's paid for gas. Grandma has paid for maintanence, repairs, tires, etc. He's wrecked this car 2-3 times. He managed to somehow bust a power steering line, as well as headlights and a taillight, etc. although the car was still technically driveable. Because it looked like garbage, though, he just stopped driving it. (He's very focused on appearances vs. practicality)

After it having been sitting in front of the house for the last 4 months, the wife wanted it gone and they approached me with selling it, the wife asking me if I would "help him" sell it. I asked him what the lowest offer was that he would accept for the car and he stated "$200 for it, I don't want to deal with it, just want it gone". I plainly asked "So anything over $200, I get as a commission?". Both he and the wife, almost in unison, said "NO! It's not your car, if you sell it then the money goes to stepson, regardless of what it brings!" So, I'll admit, I wasn't trying my hardest to move this car given that the selfish attitude from the pair of them soured me on "helping him".

I let it sit for another week and then asked him last night "You said $200 for the car, right?" He responded "yes" I said "I'll have a check for you when you get home and I need you to sign the title." So, 45 minutes later he comes home and collects his check and signs the title to me. I post it online and have a guy in the driveway within an hour and end up selling it for $950

The boy gets salty about it, as well as his mother when she gets home, saying that "It's not about the money, it feels like you deceived me". I explained that it was a life lesson, you shouldn't expect to be rewarded without putting in the hustle. He felt just because it was "his car" he should have gotten the full amount of money,I pointed out that I did literally all the work.

To settle the dispute, I ended up giving him an additional $275, bringing his total to $475 (half of the total sale) and I was "forced" to apologize for "deceiving him".

AITA here or am I ok in being a little secretly salty that I had to give up half my profits?

Power Khan posted:

My (25M) girlfriend (24F) of 2 years doesn't want to get rid of a bedbug infestation.
We just signed a lease last month to start living together in a new place. Well, we had a housewarming party that got a bit bigger than we expected, with some friends of friends we didn't know showing up. More than 20 people in total. We suspect the bedbugs came from someone at the party. We've had them for more than a week now.

My girlfriend refuses to cooperate in getting rid of them. Because she doesn't believe it's okay to do so. I'd always known she was a very compassionate person and truly views all living things as precious and important, volunteers for a few humanitarian causes like animal shelters and loves nature. But I didn't know it went this far, that eradicating pests like this is wrong. This is very extreme to me.

Meanwhile, we are getting eaten alive every night and they just keep multiplying. I'm out of patience, I've asked her many times how she can stand living with this, she just says it's "annoying" but she couldn't bring herself to intentionally kill anything. Even a loving bedbug.

Today I decided I was done with this bullshit. I called an exterminator and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. When I told her, she flipped. I said I didn't care what she thought, she could help me pack up everything to prepare or not but it was happening. Then once I went to work, she cancelled it behind my back! She texted me to tell me. She said she doesn't want to fight with me, that we should be able to "live in harmony with each other and other creatures"!!! She also said she's really stressed due to our disagreement about it, but I'm stressed from having the bedbugs!

Now I'm about to go home to our infested apartment and confront her. Please help. I feel like my life has turned into some realm of insanity. How do I make her understand that the pest control needs to happen??

TL;DR: My girlfriend sabotaged my efforts to exterminate bedbugs in our home because she strictly believes it's wrong to kill them. I don't know how to make her stop or compromise.

Tythas posted:

Boyfriend (24m) has ADHD, forgets to tell me stuff. I (24f) have anxiety and this bothers me. Advice on dealing with this?


AITA for flipping my stepsons car for a profit?

Admiral Ray posted:

I wonder if this lady would just accept getting infested with helminths. Maybe a sign of greater harmony? Who knows, but this is some wacky poo poo.

quote:

My boyfriend of nearly two years has recently gotten infected with bedbugs. About a couple of months ago I saw one for the first time ever in the bathroom of his home and advised to get his landlord to take care of it quickly because it was probably coming from a neighbor( very sketchy neighbors in a semi-sketchy apartment building). He told me they came ,inspected ,saw nothing but exterminated.

Fast forward to about a month ago, one morning after spending the night at his place, I found a baby bedbug in the bed and saw the telltale blood spots on the sheets. I told him I wasnt returning until it was fixed. He told me he contacted an exterminator and they gave him directions on eradicating them which he followed and they were gone. I stayed away about a week to be certain. He assured me he saw none. Tonight I woke in the middle night during a visit and already paranoid, I took my phone flashlight and scanned the side of the bed and what do I find? A cluster of bedbugs just waiting to get their next meal. I woke him up to show him the evidence and left.

Now I want to ghost him because I feel they will never go away and I dont want to get infected with his house herpes in my new apartment of only three months(god forbid I havent already) and although he is very neat, he lives like a hoarder with boxes and boxes of clothes, papers etc. and will never have the money or time to clear every possible item of an infestation . Am I the rear end in a top hat for wanting to leave since we will essentially never be able to visit each other until he somehow gets this resolved?

Edit: Im ready to leave because this has been a daily back and forth of him brushing off the problem and me and only me going through extraordinary measures to keep them from spreading. I bag my clothes in garbage bags when I visit, spray the bad down with isopropyl alcohol, bag them again when I return home. Wash,dry the clothes, vaccum and hope none followed me home. He can rarely visit because he doesnt want to follow "the protocol" which makes him feel like a leper. I dont have any choice but to leave since he's been lying about them being gone,because there is really no way I can see them and he cant. He even tried to insinuate maybe I was bringing them since he never notices them otherwise and now im just over it. Ghosting may not be nice but I don't prefer confrontation and he will just make more excuses. No sane person can live like this.

TLDR: boyfriend of 2 years has bedbugs, girlfriend wants to break all ties before she's infected too.

Pinecone Sample posted:

Found another good one in this genre, not the legal advice classics

AITA I want to ghost boyfriend and his house herpes.

Tythas posted:

AITA for flipping my stepsons car for a profit?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

terminally pissing off my rich whale relatives for $475, like a sensible person who knows the value of a dollar

Leon Einstein posted:

A couple million isn't rich enough to kiss their asses and expect a huge windfall.

quote:

My wife stays in contact with her ex who she dated for 5 years before meeting me. All they do is text each other occasionally, which I have no problem with. I explained to her early on that I am not interested in ever meeting or befriending any of her exes. She agreed and it was never an issue until now.

Her ex has moved back to the city where we live and she really wants him and I to meet. Once again I explained to her that I have zero interest in such a meeting. I see no point to it, I don't need his blessing or approval, and I have enough friends. Plus the whole idea just seems awkward.

She explained that it would mean a lot to her if I would just meet with him. I asked why and her response was that it will keep his mind at ease knowing that she is with someone good. I snapped a little but didn't raise my voice and asked her: "Since when does his wants and concerns matter in our marriage?"

She didn't have answer for this and simply asked me to think about it. I know my answer is not going to change and I am honestly quite angry about this whole thing. AITA? Also any advice is much appreciated.

Thank you.

P.S

I don't care if they meet occasionally to catch up, but I think I'll be getting a divorce if they start hanging out on the regular. I love my wife but I don't think I have her heart. He was her longest relationship aside from me and she lost her virginity to him.

EDIT

With regards to divorcing her over this:

I'd rather divorce her than control her. I didn't tell her that I would do this, it will simply happen. I can control what I do (not meeting him), but I cannot control what she does. It would be better to part ways instead of turning the marriage into a toxic swamp.

quote:

AITA for refusing to feel my pregnant wife's belly kicks?

My wife is five months pregnant with our first child. Recently, she has felt some small kicks from the baby. I tried to feel for a few nights, but no kicking. Then on Saturday, my best friend was over playing games with the two of us. We started talking baby stuff, and my wife mentioned that the baby has started kicking. My friend, who was very happy and excited, asked if he could feel her belly, and she said, "No, but I appreciate you asking." My friend was visibly upset/discouraged, but we moved on. My friend slept over after having a few drinks, but after he left the next morning, my wife and I talked about it and I told her that I was upset that she didn't let my friend feel her belly. She said that it was her body and she didn't want anyone but her mom or me touching her belly. So I told her that I will not be touching her belly and that that was my choice and I thought she was being unfair to not let my friend (30 and single) experience that life growing inside of her. She cried a lot and we talked a lot more, but it just seems selfish to me. Am I the rear end in a top hat here? TLDR: Wife didn't let my friend feel her pregnant belly, so I decided that I would not be feeling her pregnant belly.

Update : Looks like I am an rear end in a top hat. I'm at work and texted her that I'm excited to feel our baby and that I'm sorry for being an rear end in a top hat.

Update 2: While I completely do understand that I was being immature and petty, many people are calling my friend a perv. I think it's a very normal desire to want to feel a baby kick in the womb? Also, all clothes were on. At no point did he ask to feel her bare belly. I now understand that I have no say in who is allowed to touch her belly and who is not allowed.

Update 3: Not sure if it is at all relevant, but my wife went back home for the week (before any of this happened) and my sister was the first person to feel baby's kicks, after my wife invited her to feel. My wife and I hadn't had the conversation of who is allowed to feel and who is not allowed to feel, so I figured if my sister was allowed, then our friend would be allowed. I shouldn't have assumed, but that was my line of thinking.

Update 4: just got home from work, got her a big bouquet of flowers and sat down and hugged her and tried to feel baby. We talked about it and I texted her the link to the post. I told her I was stupid and that I hosed up big time and that I was very sorry. She accepted my apology and she's getting ready for work while I make her breakfast.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

it's not really kissing their asses to refrain from blatantly pulling a onetime short con on their kid for chump change. give the kid his loving money to show what an honest and helpful guy you are and talk the dad into investing in your headlamp fluid factory

Leon Einstein posted:

I don't view it as a con. If the kid refused to put in any work, why should he get the spoils?

LSD CURES JUNKIES posted:

How the hell are these people people just living with bedbugs and being okay with it???

Anyways here's this:


This just makes me so angry. He thought this was an okay way to behave until he was told that he's a piece of poo poo by reddit. I'm six months in and I don't want random people touching my belly either. My own mother asks if she can feel,lol she's salty she hasn't been able to feel her yet.

Leon Einstein posted:

I don't view it as a con. If the kid refused to put in any work, why should he get the spoils?

LSD CURES JUNKIES posted:

How the hell are these people people just living with bedbugs and being okay with it???

Anyways here's this:


This just makes me so angry. He thought this was an okay way to behave until he was told that he's a piece of poo poo by reddit. I'm six months in and I don't want random people touching my belly either. My own mother asks if she can feel,lol she's salty she hasn't been able to feel her yet.

goethe.cx posted:

This guy is insane but I don’t get her obsession with ghosting. “I don’t prefer confrontation,” god forbid you act like an adult

Pinecone Sample posted:

Found another good one in this genre, not the legal advice classics

AITA I want to ghost boyfriend and his house herpes.

therobit posted:

She should deal with this in the same way you would deal with removing fleas and ticks from an animal before you take the pelt off. Just put him in a thick plastic bag and spray him) down with a heavy dose insecticide, then tie the bag up and wait a couple hours.

dudeness posted:

tactlessbastard posted:

My wife got groped in the grocery store by two middle aged women when she was 7 months with on of ours. People are weird.

Pinecone Sample posted:

Found another good one in this genre, not the legal advice classics

AITA I want to ghost boyfriend and his house herpes.

quote:

I'm not really sure what to make of all this and I could really use some insight on the matter. Evidently my mom passed away last Wednesday June 5th...I say evidently because my brother and I weren't notified until yesterday evening of her passing.

I'm not entirely clear on the details because the circumstances are not adding up and I'm afraid if I try and explain the chain of events... it'll become extremely confusing but I feel like the manner in which this was handled seems fishy.

We first learned of the news from a friend of our mother's who says she recieved a phone call yesterday (4 days after my mother's passing) from someone claiming to be a sheriff of the county my mother resided in, informing her my mother had passed away and asked if she happened to have keys to my mother's house because they were trying to locate next of kin. (See...weird huh?) He claims he found her number by going through my mother's phone (which would've been with her in her house, where they found her so why do they need keys) She told them she did not have keys but they could try calling her children (me and my brother) or her brother (my uncle) and that our numbers should also be in the same phone.

My mother's friend calls me to ask what was going on and did something happen to my mom and while I'm talking to her, my uncle calls me... which is odd because I haven't spoken to him in over 10 years and I wasn't even aware he had my number. He immediately goes into this whole story about how my mom passed away last Wednesday of a massive heart attack in her home and the police from her town contacted him after they were sent to her house to do a welfare check and found her. They supposedly went through her phone and saw he was the last person she talked to so they contacted him first. Then without skipping a beat or even giving me a chance to process all of this, he goes on to tell me that my mother had informed him on multiple occasions that she was leaving everything to him and that he was to make sure my brother and I, were to receive none her belongings and he kept mentioning his good friend Sheriff Whats-his-nuts ( fake name for obvious reasons) and HIS attorney have both informed him he was not to contact my brother or me about the situation and that since my mother left him everything, he needed to remove what he wanted from her home and donate the rest to Salvation Army. He was making arrangements to have her cremated and would let me know if he decides to do a funeral... then he hung up.

How is that even possible? Can he do that? I mean even if by some crazy off the wall chance my mother lost her mind and created a legal living will that named her brother... who's almost 15 years older than my mother by the way... the executor of her will and she left everything she owns to him...is there not some kind of reading of the will my brother and I are required to attend? Is this how this stuff goes down? I really can't be involved in making funeral arrangements for my own mother? Never once had our mother ever mentioned she had a will and I can not fathom her leaving everything to my uncle. But my feelings aside what is the legal process here? How could I find out for certain if there even is a will?

The situation gets a little crazier because after I called my brother, he calls my uncle and is told the same thing... they argue a little over the phone and it's now turned into my brother and I are allowed to accompany my uncle to my mother's house, and "rummage through what's left to see if there's anything we want" but it has to be this coming Wednesday because he has meetings all day Tuesday (today) with a probate attorney to iron out the details of my mother's estate. To my knowledge he's already taken her dog and her brand new car, into his possession.

This makes me think there is no will. If there was a will like he originally claimed, and my brother and I were to receive nothing... how are we all of the sudden allowed to look through what's left?

I'm extremely uncomfortable with this situation.

The most disturbing part of this whole ordeal is, I know my mother was working on the legal details of an invention she recently had patented and was in the process of interviewing manufacturers to fabricate her invention. She reviewed all the legal paperwork with my brother and me a few months ago...I'm worried that's why my uncle is in such a hurry to hire a probate attorney, and throw names of law enforcement friends of his (he himself is a retired police officer) which would also explain why it took him 4 days to notify my brother and me about her passing.

Isn't there some kind of chain of command that has to be followed when it comes to notifying next of kin? Is there a certain legal process that needs to happen when a person has a will?? Or even if they don't?? Sorry for the long post. I'm still trying to understand all of this. It just doesn't seem to make any sense. Who should I contact first? The police in her area? An attorney? What do I do?

Update: I can't respond to anyone now that its been locked but to answer a few questions. No I haven't seen the body though my own eyes and neither has my brother. He and I are getting together today to get a lawyer. This is in fact very real and I'm not making it up at all. I created a new account in hopes of not being recognized as this is turning into a very tricky situation. My brother and I are both very overwhelmed at the moment and we're in a bit if a situation where we aren't exactly sure who we can trust. As far as my motive behind mentioning my mother's invention...evidently that was precieved as making this entire thing seem like a made up story. All I can tell you is, sorry I didn't disclose that in a manner which made it more believable for you. I guess I'm poorly communicating the events i've been through recently and to be honest, I'm trying more so to get actual advice, not to make sure you believe me.

i vomit kittens posted:

How about a break from the usual drama for a murder mystery?

(OK) Mom passed away and things aren't adding up.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

and this is why you'll stay poor