- Xenocides
- Jan 14, 2008
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This world looks very scary....
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An experiment in poly from user “letsalldate”. Possibly fake but I want to believe.
We start with a happy couple:
My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?
quote:Alright… This is long and going to sound completely made up and ridiculous. I’m just really, really confused right now because this entire thing is so incredibly surreal.
I have been dating my GF Jenna for a little over 2 years. Things in the relationship have always been great; a little hiccup here and there but just the usual stupid couple fights over dumb stuff that aren’t bad in the grand scheme of things. Jenna has a friend, Mia, that she’s been BFFs with since they became roommates freshman year of college. They are practically inseparable and everyone thinks they are sisters because they look very similar aside from hair color. They are really close. Ridiculously close even. Apparently when they were in college they did the whole “experimentation” thing with each other. Jenna was very upfront with me about this when we first started dating. They are both very attractive and the idea of them doing what she talked about only turned me on to her more.
While Jenna and I have been solid the past 2 years, Mia hasn’t been as lucky. She’s dated about 6 guys since Jenna and I have been together, all varying from generally good guys to scumbags. She was one of those girls who just couldn’t stay single. Since I’ve known her she’d take a few weeks at most between relationships and then move on to the next one. That was until her most recent breakup about 3 months ago. Since then she has been by herself trying to figure things out on her own, with help from my GF and a little from me as well.
Right before the Thanksgiving break we all went out to a bar to relax. While at the bar, I noticed that Mia was a little more handsy with me than usual. Jenna didn’t seem to mind at all though. I didn’t really think too much of it, just that Mia was a bit more drunk than either of us so I ignored it not wanting to dampen the mood. We eventually left and went back to Mia’s apartment because it was within walking distance of the bar. When we got there we stayed up a bit longer and the alcohol lowered everyone’s inhibitions and the topic of sex came up. This is when Mia and Jenna started to talk about their early college experiments in front of me. While Jenna had told me things had happened, it was very matter of fact and straight to the point with no details. This is the first time I got the whole story and holy crap was I turned on.
This isn’t dear penthouse so I won’t go into details of what they said, and no, the three of us did not do anything that night. However, when Jenna and I went to bed she brought up the idea of bringing Mia into the bedroom in the near future. Seeing as my pants were still tight from earlier, I agreed enthusiastically and we eventually went to sleep. Over the next week, I Jenna began bringing up hints about Mia, how pretty I think she is, if things would be weird, etc. just gauging my interest level. While I was still very interested, with the booze out of my system and blood back in my brain, I was a bit more hesitant to pursue the potential threesome in fear of ruining what Jenna and I have or even what Mia and Jenna have. When I voiced these concerns, she dropped the bombshell on me: She had been talking with Mia lately about all of us dating.
I was obviously confused. My first reaction was “you’re joking right?” and then “Are you testing me?” but she assured me that she wasn’t. She’s a very up front person and has never done anything like that before so I believed her. I then asked her if our relationship wasn’t enough for her, if this meant she wanted to date other people and she again, very vehemently, denied those concerns of mine. She said it would strictly be me, her, and Mia. Her reasoning was:
Jenna absolutely loves and adores me.
Jenna absolutely loves and adores Mia.
Jenna is sexually attracted to both me and Mia.
Mia is sexually attracted to both me and Jenna.
In Jenna’s mind, it’s having your cake and eating it too
She did not force these wishes on me, she just brought up the possibility that it could happen. I asked where all this came from and here’s what I got out of her:
Mia had brought up the idea of a three-way to Jenna and Jenna thought it would be fun. That’s why Mia was extra flirty with me that one night. When Jenna got back to Mia’s apartment she started thinking about how she truly has feelings for both the people in the room and that she couldn’t differentiate between the love she has for both of us. It wasn’t a very recent feeling either, she had been battling it for a while and the night she talked about the things that she did with Mia brought to light all the feelings she was unsure of. As it so happened, Mia had been harboring those same feelings and had the same type of epiphany and sought out Jenna to talk to her at some point this week. Mia told Jenna her feelings about both of us and Jenna admitted she felt the same way about her. She told Mia she would speak to me about it.
Jenna did not pressure me with a decision, and there was no malice behind any of her words, if anything she was very gentle to make sure I wasn’t upset. I was concerned that the three of us dating would just be a stepping stone to slowly faze me out of the relationship without breaking up with me. I told her if that were the case then she should just end things now. She swore up and down this was not the case and even cried a little. She said that she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, but also loves Mia.
I said that it kind of sounds like she wants Mia and I to only date her but she said that Mia wants to date both of us. Mia has really grown fond of me over these two years and allegedly really wants someone to treat her the way I treat Jenna. I told her I needed time to think about it and she’s given me my space but I’m pretty sure she wants an answer soon. Here’s the kicker though: I’ve been researching engagement rings for about a month now. I was ready to make Jenna my wife and then this was thrown at me. Jenna of course is unaware and I haven’t purchased a ring yet, but I planned on buying one soon and proposing around New Year’s.
So here I am. I don’t have any issues with Mia. Hell, I love her myself just not the same way that Jenna does. Of course I find her attractive, they both are, and I genuinely enjoy just hanging out with her when Jenna isn’t around. She’s grown into one of my best friends. But I’ve seen how she is in relationships and how all of hers progressed. Maybe things have changed in this 3 month window and she’s finally found peace within herself, I really don’t know. I just have no idea how Poly relationships work, and I have no idea of what to do now. I was ready to make Jenna my wife but she wants us to all be together as one big happy family.
I really don’t have a specific question because I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do because I am so drat confused right now. On the one hand, and I’m sorry if this sounds tactless and shallow, two very attractive women are into me and both want to have sex with me at the same time and that is just fantastic. On the other hand - I’m happy with where Jenna and I are and was/am ready to marry her. What is my next step and how do I move forward with this?
TL;DR My GF of 2 years wants myself, her, and her best friend to all be in a relationship together. How do I navigate these waters and what the hell do I do?
EDIT - Had a loooooooooooong talk tonight with Jenna then Mia+Jenna tonight. When I get a chance I'll write an update but it won't be short.
Almost ready to get married huh?
[Update] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?
quote:Alright... So it's been interesting the past few days and everything seems to be blurring together for me right now. I'm emotionally drained and apologize if anything I say from here on out sounds wonky. I'm posting this now because I need to get it all out. Thanks for all the help from the last thread with a special shout out to the folks over at /r/polyamory. Those guys are seriously awesome and ridiculously helpful, understanding, and encouraging.
I called Jenna and told her I wanted to talk with her 1 on 1 and then with both her and Mia later and she agreed. She came to my apartment and I got right into it. I had a list of things I wanted to say. It was very long and a couple of pages. I ran down my list of questions and she gave me the answers. Most of them were for clarification, the others were for expectations. She isn't the best with words so I found myself helping her better articulate what her feelings were and the points that she was trying to get across here are some of the highlights:
I did NOT tell her I had been looking at rings. A person mentioned that might almost be a manipulative way to get my point across that was unnecessary. She does not know about it and I don't think I will tell her about that until much much later, if ever.
I did NOT ask about what would happen if I said I didn't want to give this whole thing a shot because I've reached the conclusion that I do. I don't need to know what could have happened, I just need to know what will happen and what to expect. Sorry to disappoint those who are interested.
I again asked if I was not enough for her. It was a basic insecurity question that I needed an answer for. We reached the conclusion that there was no less love for me or our relationship, she just has a ton of love to give out.
Point blank I asked her had they at any point during our relationship fooled around behind my back. Her response was no. I believe her. She is a god awful liar and I would have been able to tell. The only time they did stuff was during drunk make out sessions in front of me while at parties, and I was ok with that.
I told her how confused I was about the entire thing. She understood. She was too.
I asked what her expectations were for the entire thing. She said ultimately, she wants everyone to be happy with each other and for us all to date one another. I told her it was not a reasonable expectation at first because of the dynamic of Mia and my friendship at this point in the relationship. I told her about the V dynamic and she said it sounded like a good starting point.
I asked how she would feel if I were on a date with Mia while she was not around. She replied “I would be turned on”, then we went off on a tangent about sex, I got a boner, and I found out that my GF has a thing for that stuff which I'm totally ok with. But I told her that being horny about it is all well and good, I just needed her to be happy for us if Mia and my relationship blossoms. She looked at me like a goof ball and said with a smile “Of course I'd be thrilled if it were to happen.”
There is some other stuff that we talked about that I can't think of off the top of my head and if you want to know and I asked, I'll tell you. After we got all that crap out in the open, we called Mia over and had a group session about everything.
When Mia came over she was a bit more shy than normal because I think she was a little ashamed and embarrassed about the possibility of coming between me and Jenna. I reassured her that we were ok and we were ready to move forward. She started beaming. I went over a lot of the same stuff that I did with Jenna so I won't repeat it, but we all did talk about some aspects of everything together:
We defined the boundaries of if anyone else was allowed into our little group. Jenna said she has only felt the way she does about Me and Mia, and I said I wasn't interested in anyone else, and Mia said she wasn't interested in anyone else. So the parameters have been set, any outside interference was defined as cheating.
We decided that sex should be off limits for the time being, and they seemed both surprised and bummed about that, but understood when I explained that we were basically starting a new relationship. It didn't matter how long we all knew each other, this is the start of something new and sex with your partner isn't something you dive into right away until all parties are 100% comfortable with it. This included threesomes for the time being. I am cock blocking myself and confusing my boner, but it's the right thing to do.
I told them about the research I had done and the books that I found (which were suggested to me by redditors) and how we could all benefit from reading them.
Random thing here – Christmas gifts will be a joint effort by 2 people for the other one. This will save money/allow for better gifts. So instead of getting two presents, we all get one.
We spoke about how honesty is the #1 priority in our relationship if it is going to work. Honesty with ourselves, each other, jealousy, our emotions and feelings, honesty is the only way it will work.
Jenna is on a time share with us at the moment, but not really. We aren't defining when either of us gets her throughout the year, she's not a beach house, but we will be conscious of what is going on as to not let anyone feel left out.
It seems like all 3 of us are on the same page in that the idea of the other person with the other person turns them on and does not make them jealous. I suppose that's a good thing.
Again, this isn't everything, just the tip of the iceberg. I probably talked with Jenna then Jenna+Mia for like 8 hours and I'm spent.
While the Jenna-me and Jenna-Mia aspects of the relationship are solid, the Mia-me aspect needs to be established from the beginning. I brought up how I only saw her as my girlfriend's friend but find her attractive. Jenna suggested Mia and I go on a date with each other. I was hesitant to jump in so quickly but they both encouraged me to do so, so now I have a date with my girlfriend's girlfriend tomorrow night... and I'm incredibly nervous. I really want it to work out because it would make our lives all that much easier. We will have plenty to talk about.
So now I have a date Monday evening with a girl who I never thought I'd date and it's for reasons I never thought were possible and my fantasy football teams are letting me down right now. Like I said earlier, if you have questions I'll do my best to answer them.
TL;DR I have filled out my March madness bracket already, I have purchased a lotter ticket and we're all going to start dating each other. I'm going to take my girlfriend's girlfriend out on a date tomorrow evening.
Good call on not jumping into sex. Bad call on listening to the polyamory subreddit.
[Update 2: Date with Mia] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?
quote:The date happened Monday but beforehand, I spoke with Jenna about any ground rules/boundaries I needed to follow. It basically came down to no sex for the time being, something we already established a few days ago. I made sure that Jenna was perfectly content with what was happening and I also shook off some last minute insecurities. She kept reassuring me that she was fine with everything and that ultimately my happiness in my relationship with Mia would make her happy.
So onto the date. I was planning on using the date as a good way to open up some dialogue one on one with Mia, something I had not done yet. I had spoken with both her and Jenna together, but not Mia alone. This was a good opportunity to get complete perspective from her end and to figure out what’s going on inside her head. We had some time to kill before the movie so we hung out at her apartment for a little bit. It was awkward. Very awkward. I had no idea how to behave around her any more. I had been over at her place a thousand times before, just her and I hanging out, but this time was different and we both knew it. She finally made a joke about the elephant in the room and we both kind of relaxed and started talking more fluidly. It was then we both opened up and gave each other a little more outlook into our feelings and what not. Right before it was time to head to the movie it was like we were friends again instead of two people on an awkward date, which was nice.
We saw Interstellar because she hadn’t seen it yet and we both love movies. I had already seen it once and needed to see it again because of that whole ending thing. Halfway through the movie she leaned her head on my shoulder and cuddled up next to me. She had done this in the past when we were all watching movies together on Netflix at home, but of course, things are different now. She eventually grabbed and held my hand which was sweaty from nerves and from the intensity of the movie. For those of you who have seen the film(Possible spoiler ahead but not really, but maybe), when that one explosion happens that you know is about to happen but still manages to scare the piss out of you even if you’ve already seen the drat thing, she shrieked and grabbed me and buried her face into my chest. It was cute.
Mia and I are those people that talk about movies after we see them so we had plenty to talk about over dinner, which went well. After dinner we went to the nearby park to walk around, look at the Christmas lights and talk more. It was really nice. We really dove in deep about what was going on. It was a great talk. Some Highlights:
We talked about how our relationship started. I met Mia and Jenna the same night at a mutual friend’s party. I hit on both of them not knowing they were roommates at the time but Mia was in a relationship, and Jenna wasn’t. That’s how my relationship with them began. They apparently always got a laugh about it and joked that I could have had my pick of the two had Mia been single.
We share similar interests in movies, physical activities, sports, etc. We’ve always talked about going to the gym together, now I think we might actually do it.
We talked about her past relationships. Normally this is a no-no on a first date, but I’ve known her for so long but have always kept my distance from her love life. She did not seem to mind. When she would break up with a guy, Jenna was the one who would console her. I’d help in any way I could but not much I can do when her best friend is taking control of the situation. So we touched on that, I told her that I wasn’t a fan of the majority of the guys she had dated, and she nodded and agreed. She talked to me about the problems she was having at the time and how she was finally able to seek out help a few months ago. That’s what she had been doing for the past 4+ months (I was mistaken in my original post) – working on herself. Something about her was just different this evening in contrast to how she was in the past. She seemed more at peace with who she was, I don’t really know how else to describe it. Whatever she’s doing, it’s working. I told her I always thought she was worth more than the way her boyfriends treated her, and she blushed and appreciated the sentiment.
I got her side of the night the light bulb clicked for both of them because she tends to be better with words than Jenna (This is a bastardized recollection of what she said to me because it’s early and I can’t remember every detail so I apologize if any is unclear). Basically she always had a thing for Mia in the back of her mind and always repressed it and eventually developed one for me too. She always thought I was attractive and really appreciated the way that I handled myself around both Jenna and herself. She would often times complement me to Jenna and Jenna would make fun of her for having a crush on me. Eventually Mia brought up the idea of a threesome with Jenna and me. She said Jenna was way more enthusiastic than she thought she’d be, and that made Mia more excited. The night at the bar, after talking about all the things they used to do and everything they’ve been through together, the light went on and she finally realized her true feelings. She and Jenna soon had a very emotional conversation in which they told each other how they felt. Tears were shed, feelings shared, all that good stuff. Mia admitted to Jenna that she loved her but also had a crush on me and was really confused. Jenna admitted she loves us both but said she wouldn’t break up with me for Mia (to answer that question from the last two threads). Mia then said there was the pipe dream that we could all date each other, but never considered it a real possibility. When she found out I was actually ok with it, she was shocked and excited.
I got to share my feelings, mostly about how confused they were. I’ve always been monogamous, as had they, and while it was a new concept it was exciting. I told her my biggest fear was that we’d all end up hating each other but at the same time nothing good ever happened from not trying. We talked about for this to work out everyone would have to be 100% honest and open.
We walked around, held hands, and talked for a long time; it was probably one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. Mia and I get along great as friends but there is definitely chemistry between us. When I went to drop her off at her apartment I got a good night kiss, something I wasn’t planning on but was a pleasant surprise.
I got home and texted Jenna and she immediately came over (we live in the same apartment complex) to see how everything went. I was completely upfront with her and told her everything, all the contact, the hand holding, the kiss. She just seemed thrilled. She was happy for me and she was happy for Mia. That’s when I kind of just ‘got it’ and understood everything as a whole. There was no jealousy from Jenna, there were no hurt feelings, she was proud and happy about me and Mia. It’s what people over in the Poly sub told me should happen. I don’t know, all self-doubt kind of went away at that point and I was just content. Seeing her so happy about the success of the date just put it all in perspective, and I in turn wanted the same for her and Mia. Her and Mia hung out themselves last night and Jenna told me they had a blast, talked about Mia and I’s date, and shared a moment themselves. When she told me I wasn’t upset at all. I was happy and content.
So that’s kind of where we are now. We’re all hanging out tonight just for fun and we’ll see how everything goes, but so far so good. This will probably be my last update unless something crazy happens or it all blows up in my face. Thanks for reading/listening to me even when I was being a dick. The entire process of writing it all out and seeing things from different angles has been cathartic.
TL:DR Went on a date with Mia, good night kiss, Jenna was thrilled, I think I have two girlfriends now.
“I told her my biggest fear was that we’d all end up hating each other but at the same time nothing good ever happened from not trying.”
At the very edge of wisdom there.
[Update 3] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?
quote:Well I wasn’t planning on updating again until we all had sex with each other and I even had a great play on words ready for the title (Update 3…some) but now I can’t do that because things just got fucky…
I was at the mall doing some Christmas shopping today with Mia while Jenna was at work. Things have been progressing nicely and we’re getting along great. Mia is very bubbly and giddy, always holding my hand and leaning up to kiss me on the cheek every once in a while. It’s cute. In the middle of our shopping trip I got a call from my Brother (27m):
Him: What are you up to?
Me: Getting some Christmas shopping done at the mall
Him: You with Jenna?
Me: Nah, she’s at work, why?
Him: I just needed to ask her something about what to get my wife for Christmas.
Me: Why didn’t you text her yourself?
Him: I did, she didn’t answer. Well Maybe you can help, want to meet me at Mom and Dad’s in a little bit? They need our help with some Christmas decorations right now anyway.
Me: Sure, I can meet you over there in about an hour
I tell Mia what’s happening, we finish shopping and I take her home. I head over to my parents, walk into their living room and my Mom, Dad, and brother are all silent and looking at me like I murdered the last Panda on earth.
Me: Is everything alright?
Mom: Are you cheating on Jenna?
My heart fell out of my rear end. Apparently my brother saw me and Mia at the mall, and then he called me to verify that it was in fact me he was looking at. After we hung up he followed us around and took photos of Mia and me holding hands and being touchy feely. He then immediately went to our parents to tell them what he saw me doing, showed them the evidence, and then waited for me to arrive for my “intervention”. My family absolutely LOVES Jenna and they treat her like the daughter/sister they never had. They have been nothing but supportive of our relationship from the beginning and have been on my rear end to propose for the past few months. They saw the look on my face and my Mom started crying. My dad yelled “Jesus Christ! Are you loving stupid?”
I was like a deer caught in the headlights. I kept stammering “NO! NO! It’s not what you think! I can explain!”… They didn’t want to hear it. At this point I was bright red from embarrassment, my mom was crying talking about how she thought she raised me better, and my dad looked like he was about to kill me. He told me “You need to come clean to that wonderful girl and HOPEFULLY she’ll take your retarded cheating rear end back!”
Here’s the abridged version of the conversation that followed:
Me: Jenna Knows
Dad/Bro: Bullshit
Me: I’m not lying
Dad/Bro: Bullshit
Me: We’re all in a relationship together.
Dad/Bro: BULLSHIT!
Mom: crying
Me: No for real I’ll call her
I call Jenna and put her on speakerphone.
Me: Hey Jenna, I just got back from the mall… My brother saw me and Mia together… My parents now know about everything.
Jenna: …
Me: Yup
Jenna: … Are they mad?
Me: They think I’m cheating on you.
Jenna: Did you explain everything?
Me: I tried, they don’t believe me and you’re on speakerphone right now.
Jenna: Eep!
Me: Can you just say that I am not cheating on you so I can leave?
Jenna: OP is not cheating on me; I know he is dating Mia.
Me: Thank you Jenna, I love you
Jenna: I love you too.
Call ends. Silence…
They had a bunch of questions that I really didn’t have answers to. They asked a lot of details about the logistics of it all, if I still wanted to get married, kids, and all that stuff you guys have been asking. Even the sex… It was a lot harder answering the questions face to face with my parents instead of being able to type and delete anything I said to make sure the words flowed properly. I was ready to die from embarrassment. My brother thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard and laughed periodically throughout the whole conversation. My parents have reached the conclusion that I am self-destructing my relationship with Jenna for “a side piece of rear end” as my dad so eloquently put it. They could not comprehend what our dynamic was, but then again, I can’t really fault them for that. It IS different. They then asked to “meet” Mia, which was really weird because they’ve met her many, many times before... and just called her a side piece... Regardless, I just started dating Mia and it’s a little early to be bringing her around to “meet” them. I told them no. Then they said it was a phase. Then they said they didn’t know what to tell the rest of the family. Then they said it was all going to blow up in my face… In the last few threads
The entire time I was talking to them my phone was blowing up with text messages. When I finally left, I saw they were all from my brother who was sending them under the table. They were all along the lines of “I’m so proud of you” and “My little bro is a sex god” and asking for details about the wild threesomes I must be having. Jenna and I just had sex for the first time since this all started last night, neither of us has had sex with Mia yet (Mia knew and was cool with it, no worries there), so obviously I can’t (won’t) tell him about that stuff yet (ever). I am pissed at my brother for being a dick.
I got back to my apartment complex and went and saw Jenna at her place, Mia was there too. We had a nice long talk about it. Jenna was mortified, Mia felt like a home wrecker, and I just wanted the day to end. Both Mia and Jenna’s parents live out of state and Jenna always goes there for Christmas. Mia’s parents live further away and she couldn’t afford to get a plane ticket out there this year so I was entertaining the idea of inviting Mia along with me to Christmas at my family’s place… Not sure if that’s a good idea anymore. I’m kind of bummed because things were going pretty smoothly with little resistance/drama between the three of us but right now things are pretty drat awkward. We’re all pretty embarrassed at the moment.
And that’s how my parents found out I’m in a polyamorous relationship with two women. I was blowing off the "What will you say to your parents?" questions from the previous threads because I really did not think I'd have to deal with it for a looooooooooong time. So I was completely caught off guard and had no idea what to say or do. It went about as bad as I hoped it wouldn’t. Sorry about the lack of banging in this update, just thought I’d share. Hopefully no more updates for a while unless sex is involved. I'm going to bed.
TL:DR Brother caught me with Mia, had to tell my parents about the set-up. They are not pleased. We are all embarrassed.
Parents of the Year giving Good Advice: My parents have reached the conclusion that I am self-destructing my relationship with Jenna for “a side piece of rear end” as my dad so eloquently put it.
And the finale:
[Update] My [24m] Girlfriend [22f] wants us to date her best friend [22f]?
quote:Tjere are others just check my history to see how much of a jerk I was.
I have been getting PMs on this account for the past 9 or so months asking for updates. I wasn’t going to do it because I realized how douchey I came off the first go round so I kept it to PM responses when I would log in and check. Well here’s the update:
Jenna and I broke up and I don’t know where I stand with Mia.
I’m not going to go into a long drawn out story for attention like last time, but the gist of it is things were going great for a while. Really great. Everyone was happy.Tons and tons of sex. My parents had accepted everything as long as there was only one of the girls around, and they basically just closed their eyes and plugged their ears.
Then about a month ago I noticed some distance growing between Jenna and myself. Mia noticed it too. I tried being more romantic with her and even gave Jenna a bit more attention than Mia, something that Mia was fine with for the time being. Nothing seemed to bring her out of her funk. I finally sat her down two weekends ago and we had a long talk about what the problem was. She had met a guy at work and really liked him and wanted to date him too. I was not cool with this. Mia was not cool with this. We told Jenna how we were not cool with it together. Jenna got defensive. Words were said and things came to light.
Apparently Jenna had hooked up with the guy one night after work and failed to tell either of us until we interrogated her about the guy for what seemed like forever. I dumped her on the spot. Mia wasn’t so quick to dump her so I got pissed at Mia. Mia got pissed at me back. I said some things, she said some things. Jenna got involved and said some things and I told her to stay out of it in not so many nice words. This pissed Mia off more. I eventually left the apartment in a huff.
I didn’t speak to Mia for a few days until we finally texted about what the future held. She came over and we talked forever. She says she loves me but she still loves Jenna and doesn’t want to throw away her years long friendship over this. I told her it was a perfectly valid excuse to do so. She cried. I cried. I asked her where we stood and she said she wasn’t sure. I told her I couldn’t be with her if she was going to stay with Jenna. I gave her Jenna’s things because I was not speaking to Jenna anymore and Mia has been talking with her still. I don’t know what Mia is going to do so I am in limbo.
So now I’m waiting on Mia and what she decides. If she doesn’t come up with a decision soon, I’m making it for her. I’m tired. I’ve been drunk pretty much non-stop for the past week and I almost feel like I deserve this. I don’t even know if I still want to be with Mia. I went from seeing two people I love on a daily basis to seeing no one and being a hermit. I told my brother the bare essentials and he was surprisingly sympathetic towards me about it. Said I didn’t deserve to be cheated on no matter how weird my relationships were.poo poo sucks. Any updates will not receive a new thread, I will just add them here then I'm done being an attention whore.
Edit: I'm going to break up with Mia too. Clean slate. No more.
TL:DR Jenna is a lying cheat and Mia is sympathetic towards her. I am not. I am sad. Ended things with Jenna and I am not sure where things are with Mia.
And the whole thing burns to the ground. The poly apologists come out:
quote:Let's be real, though. As anyone who browses /r/relationships know, all kinds of relationships are vulnerable to this kind of thing. This isn't a poly thing. It was clear from the second update that it was very explicit that having sex with anyone outside the trio was cheating. Jenna's violation of that was no different than anyone in a monogamous relationship cheating on a partner.
A sage counters:
quote:Yeah, no. Let's not act like this situation wasn't mainly caused by the poly bullshit.
And a moron chimes in:
quote:Okay, she cheated, and that's not cool. But is it really worth it to allow her bad decision to destroy so many relationships?
I know it's painful, but this could be something you can get beyond. Once.
I don't think you should be so quick to throw away what had been a good, working, albeit unusual relationship.
Could you maybe try to reconsider?
At the end of life, it isn't the things we did that haunt us, but the things we didn't do.
Fin
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Jun 12, 2019 15:51
Cat Army 
because your boyfriend knows you don't have the tenacity and drive to outlast him.
'well, ackshually, men need more calories than women!'
