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VanSandman posted:I wonder, is he attracted to transgender people or is it one of those 'fell down the porn hole' situations where more vanilla stuff doesn't do it anymore? Who gives a gently caress? He lets the kid see him masturbating and allowed the kid to see enough porn that the kid is asking about the specific content of the porn. That's child abuse. He's probably trying to groom the kid. She should burn her husband alive.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:15
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therobit posted:Who gives a gently caress? He lets the kid see him masturbating and allowed the kid to see enough porn that the kid is asking about the specific content of the porn. That's child abuse. He's probably trying to groom the kid. She should burn her husband alive. Yah that’s the part that gets me. How long did he leave it on. Pretty sure if poor life choices ever led to a kid of mine walking in on me and porn I’d be slamming things shut as fast as gently caress.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:27
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Houseguest had a deadbolt installed after being reminded that he'll have to leave soon. Questions about the situation in general but specifically the locksmith's liability here. (NY state) To be clear, this is not New York City. TL;DR: Wife and I let an old friend of hers who is going through a hard time stay with us for a while. When reminded that he'll have to move on soon, he made a pass at my wife and flipped out on her when she declined his advances. He then had a locksmith install a deadbolt on the door, despite not presenting them with a lease or deed to show that he has a right to get locks installed. Now what? Questions at the bottom. A childhood friend of my wife's (call him Pete) moved back to the area after the death of a parent and losing his job. We offered to let him crash in our spare bedroom for a month or so while he gets things figured out. Pete moved in on 3/28, and we had him sign something that said that he'd split on 6/30 whether he had his poo poo sorted or not. This was partially to put a hard limit on the amount of time he'd be living with us, but primarily because my brother is going to spend about six weeks in town for work starting in mid-July, and will be staying with us. Pete didn't seem to be in much of a rush to find a new job, let alone find his own place, but he's in a bit of a funk due to the whole situation so we'd been giving him the benefit of the doubt. On 6/1, my wife reminded Pete of the fact that he had to go at the end of the month, he said not to worry and that he'd definitely have something figured it out by then. She gave him the same reminder this Wednesday (6/12). I'll spare you the details, but this time Pete countered by confessing that he'd always been in love with her, and that she should leave me and i could find a new place while they stay in the apartment (which is sort of funny because while I consider this to be her apartment as much as mine, I purchased it before we met and her name isn't on anything). Anyway, she obviously shut this down immediately, and Pete did not respond well. At all. No violence but a ton of shouting, insulting and attempting to guilt trip. It was intense enough that my wife just cut out to her mother's place, where she called me to fill me in on the situation. I went home from work and told Pete that we'd stick to the agreement despite his behavior, but the sooner he was out, the better. I spoke to my wife later that evening and we decided till Pete fucks off, she'll stay in an investment property of mine that is luckily vacant right now, but I'd start working remotely and stay at the apartment more or less 24/7, both to make sure Pete doesn't do anything stupid and because my presence in the living room would hopefully be more than a little awkward for him. So this morning around 6:00 I left to run to the office to grab some stuff I'll need while working from home. I got back to the apartment about half an hour ago, and as I stepped out of the elevator I saw a guy with a toolbox leaving my apartment and immediately noticed that a new deadbolt had been installed in the door. I tried to explain the situation to the locksmith but he basically told me that the lock's already in and he gave the only key to the guy in the apartment, so it's between the two of us now. LOVELY. I asked him for a card and he said he didn't have any, so I asked where he works. He told me that it isn't any of my business and reiterated that this is between me and Pete. I followed him downstairs and luckily he was in a van that had a sticker with the company's name and info on the side. I called the number, asked to speak to the boss and told him what had happened. He more or less did his best to not answer any of my questions - "I'm sorry but I don't have to inform you of our policies." Fun. So this is where I am at now. I called the police just to get a report filed, but I am 100% sure that when the officers show up they're going to tell me that it's a civil issue. I'm not expecting them any time soon, as this is a pretty small potatoes deal in the city where the whole thing is taking place. I was actually all set to offer Pete a cash for keys deal if he wasn't getting his poo poo in gear by 6/23, but I have a feeling that I am going to have to evict now. I own a few investment properties and have gone through the eviction process before, so I know that will not be a fun process given how tenant friendly my state is, but it is what it is. We've got that vacant rental property to stay in while everything gets sorted out, so that's covered as well. My only questions now are about who I can go after for what. ------------------------------------------------------------- On that note, here are my questions: I am going to lose money on the rental that my wife and I will be staying in while the eviction gets handled. In fact I've already done so, as I had just started advertising it and will now have to pull the listing on a few sites/drop a "sorry but" on anyone who responds to print ads I placed. Is this something I can sue for? In my mind I'd name both Pete and the locksmith company in a suit and let the judge decide who owes me what, but since I am making the decision for us to occupy the space, do I technically have damages? When I got a deadbolt installed at my old rental, I had to show the locksmith a copy of my lease before they'd even touch the door. Was that just a company policy they were following or is that mandated by law? If the latter, is there anything I can go after them for? I don't care if it's trying to get criminal charges pressed or just going the civil route - I am not hurting for money so frankly if I were to sue it would be more about taking the pound of flesh that I feel I am entitled to after they locked me out of my own home, but I'd be just as happy seeing the pound of flesh extracted in a manner that does not end with me in possession of it. Anything else that I should be thinking about in this situation? I am planning on asking the police to do a civil standby or whatever it's called so I can get a few important things out of the apartment. I am a little flustered and pissed off right now to say the least, so I just want to make sure that there isn't anything I should be considering beyond that. Thanks in advance, and the cops are actually pulling up now so I might have an update shortly. Edit 1: Just heard from the owner of the locksmith, who sounded about as pissed off as I am. He's sending a guy over with a new deadbolt and a few extra keys. Apparently he's already arranged for his dude to show up with some cops in case Pete is not a fan of the lock being changed. Bonus: in explaining that part to me, I got to hear somebody say "I know a guy who knows a guy" in real life, and now I want to hang out with this dude. Edit 2: MIL took the wife out to get her mind off of this stuff, but she is now being returned to me so I am gonna stop staring at the internet. The locksmith will be here around 8pm, and Pete's brother is going to swing through around the same time to see if he can talk some sense into him. Thanks for all of the advice and well wishes, I'll try to update again tonight if anything interesting happens but at this point it will more likely be tomorrow/Sunday.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:27
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Houseguest had a deadbolt installed after being reminded that he'll have to leave soon. Questions about the situation in general but specifically the locksmith's liability here. (Update) TL;DR - things kind of managed to sort themselves out So I got a call while I was getting ready to head back to the apartment to meet the locksmith. It was Pete's brother. Apologies for the lack of details here but I don't know too much about exactly what went down, and a chunk of what I do know is sort of personal poo poo that the brother, who just did me an enormous favor, probably wouldn't want me sharing. Anyway, the gist of the phone call was that he went by and performed a third party constructive eviction with the back of his hand. So Pete's gone, as is most of his stuff. His brother is going to swing by next week to grab any odds and ends that they may have missed. I am planning on making him dinner and hitting him off with a bottle of good whiskey when he does so. As far as Pete goes, I'm thinking that I'll follow through with at least the early part of the eviction process just in case he tries anything cute. Gonna speak to my attorney about this first, but he's still in the wind. Turns out he's staying at a cabin his girlfriend's family owns and it's pretty much as close to being in the middle of nowhere as human-built structures get. His admin/paralegal... I dunno what she is specifically, but she said that yesterday was the one day he wasn't going into town for cell service. This gives us the opportunity to convince him that the situation is currently way worse than it ever was, and as much as I love this guy, he's really fun to gently caress with so that's cool. After speaking with him I called the owner of the locksmith to let him know that the apartment was vacant, so his guy wouldn't need to show up with police. Turns out he was planning on coming by to handle this himself anyway, so that was easy enough. I met him over there, he had a handful of deadbolts for me to choose from, and he switched out the lock in about five minutes. We got to bullshitting about baseball because that's what you do in New York, and this led to him accepting my offer to buy him a beer so we could watch the White Sox smack our Yankees around. I got some backstory at the bar, and while this is secondhand information, the dude seems pretty reliable so I've got no reason not to believe him. The guy who came over yesterday morning was indeed an employee of his, but he wasn't on the clock and actually "borrowed" the deadbolt without mentioning anything. Turns out he is an old friend of Pete's, and had been fed a story about an insane landlord who had decided to move into the apartment Pete was renting. Brilliant. Anyway, my new locksmith buddy told me that this guy was officially unemployed as of that afternoon. I'd feel bad for the dude but I'm too busy not caring about what his motivation was due to the complete and total lack of any attempt to verify the story he'd been fed. This also explains the the non-answers I got when I called the shop - the person I spoke to was a manager who had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. He was basically trying to buy some time to speak with the owner and the guy who installed the deadbolt instead of just pulling an excuse out of his rear end for me. I wish he'd told me that in the first place but I do appreciate the fact that he didn't just try to go into CYA mode for the company/his (now former) co-worker. All in all, I have a new preferred locksmith for when I need something done at any of my properties. So really the only legal poo poo left is the restraining order, and Pete very kindly sent my wife a few emails last night upon figuring out that she'd blocked his number. Not gonna go into detail but I'll just say that the contents should make the restraining order easy to get. So thank for all of the help and well wishes, but it seems like this is more or less a wrap, and a pretty amusing one too. My wife's gone from upset about the whole thing to uncharacteristically indignant, which she's admitted is kind of cathartic for her, so I don't even have a reason to feel guilty about laughing about what a moron Pete is! Again, thanks all.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:28
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therobit posted:Who gives a gently caress? He lets the kid see him masturbating and allowed the kid to see enough porn that the kid is asking about the specific content of the porn. That's child abuse. He's probably trying to groom the kid. She should burn her husband alive. I feel like that's a bit of a stretch of what she said. I think he was just too caught up to notice his son, not that he was actively trying to show him.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:39
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Rubellavator posted:I feel like that's a bit of a stretch of what she said. I think he was just too caught up to notice his son, not that he was actively trying to show him. Beating off while the kids are home and awake seems like inherent evidence of a problem. But we don't really know from how she characterized it, maybe it was 1 am.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:43
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ad090 posted:Partner[29M] says he will divorce me [26F] if I put on weight after pregnancy pro: honesty is valuable; if that's really how he feels, he understands it's going to be a serious negative for a lot of people, and he's done some introspection and sincerely believes his feelings about this are never going to change... then he should be honest about it con: if they're already married and pregnancy is on the table, the time to be honest about this is long, long past e: the good news is, you found out before you helped make this fuckin' moron a father. get clear asap and do not get pregnant under any circumstances tbh this guy would probably be happier living single and banging escorts Cactus Ghost fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Jun 16, 2019 |
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Jun 16, 2019 02:46
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Rubellavator posted:I feel like that's a bit of a stretch of what she said. I think he was just too caught up to notice his son, not that he was actively trying to show him. That seems pretty unrealistic to anyone who has kids. If, and is a big if, you decided that you just HAD TO spank it whole you were caring for young children (seriously WTF) you would be in the bathroom with the door locked, and would hear the door open if you forgot to lock it. You would also keep the volume low enough that it would not drown out the sounds of the house in case your kid was getting into something, got injured, or was about to walk in on you. The kid had to have seen enough to glean that it was a woman with a penis. That doesn't just happen. Edit: I give pause before deciding to poop if my 4 year old is home and my wife isn't.
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Jun 16, 2019 02:48
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Motherfucker posted:Pfft. In my experience it turns out if nobody reinforces and reassures them (despite their constant attempts to make managing their emotions someone else's problem) and mommy dosn't come and make the bad thing go away they eventually just do get over it. Turns out even adults can cry like loving babies for attention. in my experience, people who talk about psych issues this way are slack-jawed cspam mods who need to shut the gently caress up about stuff they don't understand and/or are teenage edgelords
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Jun 16, 2019 02:51
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Motherfucker posted:Generally snitches are on the cops side. this post reedemed you though, we coo
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Jun 16, 2019 02:55
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Piell posted:AITA For calling CPS on my friend for encouraging her son to be transgender? jokes on him its not illegal and cps schedules a meeting no matter why they are called out. :suckit:
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Jun 16, 2019 03:14
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AITA for giving my son ~$15,000 when he turned 18 and moved out, but refuse to give the same amount to my daughter? My 19-year old daughter Vanessa called me this morning and told that her girlfriend proposed to her, and wants her to move to her apartment. Now for context, my daughter met this woman online, and they’ve never don’t ever SEE each other besides a few quick weekend visits. Moreover, they’ve only dated for a little more than a year. I told her I was happy for her, but then politely expressed my reservations. But I maintained that she was an adult, and that it was ultimately her decision. The problem lies when Vanessa asked me for money. You see, when her older brother moved out and went to college, I decided to give him a little $500 a month stipend so he doesn’t have to worry about food (he managed to get a scholarship to cover the rest of his educational costs, so it was just the small expected parent contribution and his living expenses). That combined with the money he saved during the summers made it so he didn’t have to work at all during the school year. Since I gave him $500 a month every month his university was in session, that amounted to around $16,000. I told Vanessa that I was going to do the same when she moves out and goes to school. She now says that she’s moving out and that college was on the backburner for her. Her girlfriend will support them (she is 23, already graduated, and works in IT). She said that now she’s not going to school, she’d rather just take a lump sum, or give her $500 a month too, and just not get anything if she goes to school. I told her I cannot stop her from moving, but that money is for supporting her education only. If/when she realizes that this is a mistake and decides to go to school, or even if she decides to go to school when she’s married, I’ll be happy to contribute the money. But it’s not just a free handout. She’s got really mad that I rejected her and accused me of favoring her brother. To her credit, her brother and I have a closer relationship (he’s always been the studious rule-follower while Vanessa was more the troublemaker), but I do love my children equally. I told her at the end of the day, that it was an educational stipend; if she feels like she has the independence to move out to her fiancé, then she has the independence to get a job and work for her own money. That if she ever wants to go school at any point of her life, I will fully support it financially. Well we argued back and forth before she angrily hung up on me and told my wife. My wife thinks that we should give her something, but I told her that my thinking is that this relationship will fail, and I rather keep the $15,000 as an emergency blanket for if and WHEN she has to move back home. I don’t want her to think I support this decision. She told me she sorta saw my point, but she’s not going to help me unravel this mess with my Vanessa, she’s staying out of it. I, on the other hand, think she’s acting like a spoiled brat. AITA for sticking to my guns on this?
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Jun 16, 2019 03:35
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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for refusing to wear a wig to my friend’s wedding? Someone having a plantation wedding turns out to be trash  Never would have guessed.
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Jun 16, 2019 03:37
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for giving my son ~$15,000 when he turned 18 and moved out, but refuse to give the same amount to my daughter? You can't really claim favoritism when you're getting the exact same offer. Start taking community college courses or something
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Jun 16, 2019 03:52
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for giving my son ~$15,000 when he turned 18 and moved out, but refuse to give the same amount to my daughter? What? That sentence makes no sense.
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Jun 16, 2019 03:55
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Oh man EVIL PETe
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Jun 16, 2019 03:57
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Megillah Gorilla posted:What? That sentence makes no sense. The OP is acknowledging a potential source of bias; though he is not doing it very eloquently.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:02
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FactsAreUseless posted:Being able to have and express feelings Sounds exhausting
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Jun 16, 2019 04:03
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Resting Lich Face posted:The OP is acknowledging a potential source of bias; though he is not doing it very eloquently. But how is it "to her credit"?
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Jun 16, 2019 04:12
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tactlessbastard posted:Sounds exhausting
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Jun 16, 2019 04:13
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Megillah Gorilla posted:But how is it "to her credit"? The guy is saying "in defense of her argument I may be biased by my relationship with my son being better than my relationship with her"
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Jun 16, 2019 04:19
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Megillah Gorilla posted:But how is it "to her credit"? She's not just imaging things.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:19
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Girlfriend (19) forced me (20) to call her ugly. Just now I had a conversation with my girlfriend about what I appreciate at her but things did trigger her pretty quickly. We're together since 2 years and she's had past issues of people insulting her face but there seriously isn't anything wrong at her at all She has very low self-esteem, many issues on her appearance and is talking about getting surgery one she graduated with what I completely disagree and refuse ever since. Now she's definitely not ugly and my family agrees with that she's really beautiful looking. She has a great body quite athletic and a wonderful face where she doesn't even need makeup. Just looking at her makes me happy which I tell her everytime we see eachother. I'm a very open person when it comes to what I like at people's looks. So our recent conversations shifted back to her face again where she told me, that her face is ugly. I denied it and asked why, she didn't give any clear answer and continue to bash herself. Then she went on saying; " Please call me ugly, it'll satisfy me.", I didn't of course because if I would call her ugly, I'd lie straight to her face which I told her too but she kept insisting. " Please just once, please" Begging many times and I didn't. She then asked some guy to do it, and messaged me that's she's satisfied now. Do I act wrong or right? In really patient with her and don't hesitate from telling what I like at her. I'm just really concerned that her " demons" eat her up and let her do things she'll regret in future. TL;DR : Girlfriend forced me to call her ugly which I refused because I see her as really beautiful. She got someone else to call her ugly and said she's feeling satisfied now.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:21
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AITA for refusing to go to my cousins funeral. this is more of a group AITA. me my siblings some cousins and friends. so last week my cousin died, he was a beer drinking surfing beach man who hated normal things. he always made it clear that he hated funerals and never wanted one for himself. after he died my family started planning his funeral much to the dismay of me and the others. we made it clear how much he would hate this and that going to a beach and spreading his ashes would be a better send off. the family refused and so me, my 2 younger siblings, all of my cousins friends and 5 of my cousins all went to the beach instead of the funeral, we drank beer and surfed in his honor. the family are pissed and have been telling us how poo poo we are and that we ruined his special day. are we assholes. hopefully this makes sense
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Jun 16, 2019 04:21
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Girlfriend (19) forced me (20) to call her ugly. Come on man, this is just sad. I come here to laugh at idiots.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:23
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for refusing to go to my cousins funeral. Sounds like family had their thing, and his true friends had their thing. Nobody here is an rear end in a top hat, despite any strife and accusations flying around.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:24
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for refusing to go to my cousins funeral. Resting Lich Face posted:Sounds like family had their thing, and his true friends had their thing. Nobody here is an rear end in a top hat, despite any strife and accusations flying around. His family is assholes for refusing to honor the dead man's wishes. The whole reason for talking through what you want in advance is so that you can get people to honor you in the way you want to be - whether that's a church service, a funeral at the beach, or something else altogether. Whatever the dead person wants, you should really respect that to the extent feasible, even if it's not really a way you'd choose to mourn. But the friends/cousins are also kind of assholes, because funerals are primarily for those left behind. If his family really cared about having a funeral so much and it meant so much to them to have a minister talk for a few minutes, then you just roll with it and politely show up. You can all quietly agree amongst yourselves that "this is just for show, the *real* memorial is happening tonight at the beach like he wanted" and then honor him in a different way, but seriously, just put on a show for the three hours of the formal funeral to support his family in the way they want to mourn.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:51
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Magus, I think you and I are closer to agreement than we think. Without the full story, without experiencing all of the emotions involved, we cannot know who is right. Maybe the family and friends don't yet know. Do they resolve it and move on having celebrated the deceased's life in their own ways? No assholes involved. Do they let it divide them? Everyone is an rear end in a top hat.
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Jun 16, 2019 04:53
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MarcusSA posted:Yeah I’m vaguely curious how their sex life was. OMGVBFLOL posted:...cspam mods... thems fitin' words.
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Jun 16, 2019 05:04
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Megillah Gorilla posted:Someone having a plantation wedding turns out to be trash Huh?
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Jun 16, 2019 05:26
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Palemdromes posted:Huh? You know what a plantation was, right?
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Jun 16, 2019 05:27
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Motherfucker posted:Pfft. In my experience it turns out if nobody reinforces and reassures them (despite their constant attempts to make managing their emotions someone else's problem) and mommy dosn't come and make the bad thing go away they eventually just do get over it. Turns out even adults can cry like loving babies for attention. Were you not hugged as a child?
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Jun 16, 2019 05:28
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DreamingofRoses posted:Were you not hugged as a child? Listen dude if you've read this thread at all you'd see a dozen stories of grown rear end adults behaving like children because it continues to work well into adulthood since they're constantly coddled by their peers, either by their conscious efforts or by pure happenstance. I don't think people with phobias deliberately do it, but the function is very much the same, have a tantrum in order to make the problem go away. Its a clear cut case of arrested development and its not something that should be tolerated by anyone because the act of tolerating and sympathizing is the cause. In other words: Yeah I was actually but than when I grew the gently caress up they stopped, how bout you? Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Jun 16, 2019 |
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Jun 16, 2019 05:40
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Smirking_Serpent posted:the family are pissed and have been telling us how poo poo we are and that we ruined his special day. Calling a funeral the corpse's "special day" is weird as poo poo
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Jun 16, 2019 05:45
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Antivehicular posted:Calling a funeral the corpse's "special day" is weird as poo poo I’m now going to demand in my will that my family refer to mine as this, exclusively.
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Jun 16, 2019 05:53
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Antivehicular posted:Calling a funeral the corpse's "special day" is weird as poo poo Very millenial
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Jun 16, 2019 05:58
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Motherfucker posted:Listen dude if you've read this thread at all you'd see a dozen stories of grown rear end adults behaving like children because it continues to work well into adulthood since they're constantly coddled by their peers, either by their conscious efforts or by pure happenstance. I don't think people with phobias deliberately do it, but the function is very much the same, have a tantrum in order to make the problem go away. Its a clear cut case of arrested development and its not something that should be tolerated by anyone because the act of tolerating and sympathizing is the cause. It’s very sad that nobody is offering you emotional support as an adult. That has to be rough.
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Jun 16, 2019 06:00
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I know ghosts dont exist because if they did theyd passive aggressively haunt you for ruining their funeral
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Jun 16, 2019 06:08
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DreamingofRoses posted:It’s very sad that nobody is offering you emotional support as an adult. That has to be rough. Actually being a complete person owns and is the fundamental missing ingredient in every single post in this thread. I don't need a daddy, I am your fuckin' daddy.
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Jun 16, 2019 06:10
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Is that a meta-commentary on us too?
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Jun 16, 2019 06:11
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