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I wouldn't be surprised to find recordings of train noises buried in the SMiLE sessions somewhere.
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Jun 23, 2019 17:33
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tribbledirigible posted:Tribble the Younger [exiting living room]: Dad, why are you listening to train noises? Good Vibrations? That always makes me think of trains.
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Jun 24, 2019 05:44
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Overheard in a Chick-fil-A: "You are the best mommy ever and I want to date you!"
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Jun 24, 2019 08:55
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Beachcomber posted:Overheard in a Chick-fil-A: When in Alabama...
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Jun 24, 2019 14:16
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About once a year, I shave my beard completely off and let it start fresh. After coming out of the bathroom, my daughter says "Daddy, can you grow your beard back right away? I don't want to kiss your face like that." 
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Jun 24, 2019 16:02
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My dad used to have a mustache. He shaved it off when I was five. When I saw his face I asked him what happed to the mustache. He said "I shaved it off." To which I replied "well shave it back on again!" I hear that story every year at Thanksgiving.
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Jun 24, 2019 16:08
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I've been trying to get a kid in the kindergarten to call me by my name instead of 'adult', this has backfired somewhat because she no longer consider me to be an adult. Like, I told her that only adults can open and close the gate to the kindergarten and she replied "you're not an adult, you're Alhazred".
Alhazred has a new favorite as of 17:49 on Jun 24, 2019 |
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Jun 24, 2019 16:09
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Shaving off your beard is one of the worst things you can do to a little child's perceptions. My uncle shaved off his decade-old full black beard when I was ten years old. It took me years until I was able to reliably recognize him again when we walked past each other in public.
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Jun 24, 2019 16:47
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Cardiovorax posted:Shaving off your beard is one of the worst things you can do to a little child's perceptions. My uncle shaved off his decade-old full black beard when I was ten years old. Hell, I’m in my 30s and I’m pretty sure that I’d have a hard time recognizing my dad at first if he shaved off the beard he’s had since I was ~10.)
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Jun 24, 2019 18:36
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I don't recognize myself if i shave.
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Jun 24, 2019 19:04
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I avoid the existential confusion by just never shaving. My beard is glorious.
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Jun 24, 2019 19:43
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Alhazred posted:I've been trying to get a kid in the kindergarten to call me by my name instead of 'adult', this has backfired somewhat because she no longer consider me to be an adult. Like, I told her that only adults can open and close the gate to the kindergarten and she replied "you're not an adult, you're Alhazred". "The Mad Arab, author of the Necronomicon, Ia, Ia, Shub Niggurath, the Goat with Ten Thousand Young!" she added, before vomitting black ooze and phasing through the gate in a suspiciously non-Euclidean manner.
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Jun 25, 2019 15:39
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The_White_Crane posted:"The Mad Arab, author of the Necronomicon, Ia, Ia, Shub Niggurath, the Goat with Ten Thousand Young!" she added, before vomitting black ooze and phasing through the gate in a suspiciously non-Euclidean manner.  , they grow up so fast
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Jun 25, 2019 17:01
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I was trying to pick a music video on youtube for my kids to dance to. Was considering "Don't Stop Me Now," but wondered if some of the lyrics would send a few of them into a tizzy if they caught it, so I opted for something else. About 20 minutes later, as we were transitioning from reading to writing, the kids are gathering at the rug, and one child just begins singing to himself, "Having a good time, having a good time..." Me: Are you... are you singing a Queen song? Kid: Yes, it's one of my favorite songs. Me: That's so funny! I was going to put that on for our dance break. How did you know I was thinking about it? Kid: (chuckling pleasantly) I'm a psychopath! Me: Do you mean a telepath? Kid: (continuing to chuckle in a detached way) Yes, that's it
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Jun 26, 2019 01:38
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:drat, y'all need to teach rich people's kids. I cleaned UP today. Ruby and pearl bracelet, a plethora of Rituals shower sets, and three robots made of recycling bin garbage. Guess which gifts I like the most? Yo this is real life. My girlfriend taught at a Montessori school for a bit and when she left one of the parents gave her a white gold chain with a pretty nice sapphire on it. Rich people are wild. In terms of thread content, a couple years later she was a nanny for a pair of kids whose mother was German and whose father was British, so they watched a lot of soccer. There was a period when the 5 year old kept giving the 3 year old yellow cards. He'd do it whenever the 3 year old did something he didn't like, and it made the 3 year old so mad. Kenning has a new favorite as of 08:06 on Jun 26, 2019 |
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Jun 26, 2019 08:04
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One of my old checkout managers used to do that. To her staff.
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Jun 26, 2019 08:56
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:drat, y'all need to teach rich people's kids. I cleaned UP today. Ruby and pearl bracelet, a plethora of Rituals shower sets, and three robots made of recycling bin garbage. Guess which gifts I like the most? I used to get wine, but that stopped with new guidelines. Ine year I got a really fancy winter stocking and I honestly felt like I really earned it. Alhazred has a new favorite as of 10:10 on Jun 26, 2019 |
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Jun 26, 2019 10:07
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Kenning posted:
I mean, it was a pretty lovely thing to do.
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Jun 26, 2019 10:09
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Kenning posted:Yo this is real life. My girlfriend taught at a Montessori school for a bit and when she left one of the parents gave her a white gold chain with a pretty nice sapphire on it. Rich people are wild. lmao
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Jun 26, 2019 10:23
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Today my sister and her two-year-old were colouring with crayons and my sister noticed that the kid's name was on one of them. She said, "Hey look, this one's called Rouge Violet!" Violet immediately picked up an orange crayon and said, "This one called rouge Mama!"
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Jun 26, 2019 19:25
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"I have cake inside my blood"
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Jul 2, 2019 16:25
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FreudianSlippers posted:"I have cake inside my blood" When my sister and I were really little, she once announced "I'm full of meat!" at the dinner table. She meant she had eaten enough meat and didn't want anymore but that line is still hilarious to me, some 20+ years later.
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Jul 2, 2019 22:33
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I visited my 2 yo. niece yesterday and when I was leaving she put on a sad face and said, "I'm gonna miss you." So I took her 7 mo. sister and chased her around making airplane and machine gun noises from the baby's butt. Favorite auntie.
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Jul 13, 2019 18:59
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Ramaroot posted:I visited my 2 yo. niece yesterday and when I was leaving she put on a sad face and said, "I'm gonna miss you." This is praxis.
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Jul 14, 2019 02:46
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Subjunctive posted:This is praxis. I have some bad news. 
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Jul 14, 2019 06:50
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Was over at my parent's house this weekend, my sister and her kids live there, she was out picking them up from a weekend at their dad's, while I was waiting around I was playing Super Mario Maker 2 on my Switch, a game my nephew has been super hyped about but he's probably never gonna get since he's not allowed to play games online so it defeats a lot of the purpose. They get back and my nephew (6) runs into the house and straight up to me and looks over my shoulder. Him: "Whatcha playing?" Me: "Super Mario Maker" Him, very calmly: "Is there a '2' after that?" Me: "Yeah..." Him: "Hooray it's Super Mario Maker 2!" proceeds to flip out for a few minutes (later on accidentally deletes my Endless Easy run that was at 300+ levels  )My sister had me queue up this level to see if we could get him to give it a go but he immediately noped out of it: https://twitter.com/YTSunnys/status/1150872752414498816 Also Boo Houses are too scary  Later on my niece (3) is playing doctor with one of her cabbage patch dolls and is having grandma act like the doll's mother. Her: "Give the baby these pills and it'll be alright" Grandma: "What if they're still sick?" Her: "More pills!" while dancing around Her mom: "Are you being silly?" Her: "No, I'm a doctor" Me: "Yeah, she's a doctor, she's serious" Her mom: "Are you a serious doctor?" Her in the most 'wtf are you crazy' tone: "No. I'm a pretend doctor..."
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Jul 22, 2019 21:18
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Brightman posted:Her mom: "Are you being silly?"
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Jul 22, 2019 21:39
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Cardiovorax posted:Shaving off your beard is one of the worst things you can do to a little child's perceptions. My uncle shaved off his decade-old full black beard when I was ten years old. My Dad ALWAYS had a mustache. One day he hosed up shaving and had to shave it off and let it grow back. My grandma dropped me off at home right at supper time and all I could do was stare at this guy who I *thought* was my Dad, but I wasn't entirely sure and didn't want to ask. Everyone else was acting normally so I rightly figured it was him. But it was so weird how his appearance changed. I think I was 11 or so at the time.
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Jul 22, 2019 23:02
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I have an elderly, blind dog (bichon frise), and she can't really take walks because she gets too anxious, but she loves to get out and about. Solution - I now have a dog stroller. This blows kids minds. I was at the farmer's market this weekend and a little girl stared for a while, then pulled on her mom's hand and pointed it out. "Mommy! That dog is in a stroller!" "Uh-huh." Short pause. "Is that even allowed?" Stroller rules are very important.
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Jul 23, 2019 00:35
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My wife and I were talking about that video of a guy kicking a black bear, so we asked our son, "Is it smart to kick a bear?" "No. It's not September!"
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Jul 23, 2019 02:14
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marshmallow creep posted:My wife and I were talking about that video of a guy kicking a black bear, so we asked our son, "Is it smart to kick a bear?" Where do you live where September is Bear-kicking season? (Obvious answer: Wisconsin. Go Packers!)
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Jul 23, 2019 02:17
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Your mom is praxis! Another niece got her first your mom in at the ripe age of 2.5. She also had an amazing grasp of sarcasm for a small child. At four, when told to clean up, she said "cause the world will end if I don't, huh mom."
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Jul 23, 2019 04:31
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omnibobb posted:About once a year, I shave my beard completely off and let it start fresh. My son really wanted to shave off my beard when he was 4 or 5 - I let him help and as soon as I looked at him, he starts laughing hysterically and goes "Papa you look SILLY!" I was seeing a 2 year old for a check up today, talking to mom about how he's been doing, and the little guy goes "I'll be right back...", flings the door open, and bails down the hall.
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Jul 23, 2019 18:12
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Not a say but a do: Headed home on the bus, saw a little girl in a stroller on the footpath leaning backwards over the side pulling the sides of her woolly hat down with an expression of woe on her face, as if she Literally Can't Even deal with her Mum right now. She must have been 3 at the most. Too cute.
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Jul 25, 2019 06:25
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Jul 26, 2019 16:03
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From the Car Talk episode I listened to yesterday (kids writing about religion): The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments. The seventh commandment is: "Thou shalt not admit adultery." Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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Jul 26, 2019 18:52
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quote:St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
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Jul 26, 2019 19:00
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a mysterious cloak posted:From the Car Talk episode I listened to yesterday (kids writing about religion): That's usually depicted as a huge loving boulder, so I think this one's correct.
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Jul 26, 2019 19:13
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Jul 26, 2019 23:16
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A little girl bumped my shoulder with her umbrella a while back then turned around and bowed/shouted "I'm sorry!" (I live in Japan). I was having a crappy time and it made my evening.
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Aug 4, 2019 10:17
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