/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

He�s sick with the poops all the time

# ? Jul 3, 2019 10:03

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 10:21

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

QuarkJets posted:

I'm slowly becoming more and more repulsed by my husband and don't know what to do.

Help reddit my husband is a fat lazy gamer who utterly repulses me and refuses to change, what should I do?

lol at the husband for thinking that she'll get in the mood if he just does the dishes occasionally

What is the 'naked man move'? Splaying out naked on the bed when she comes into the room?

LOL at 'he has all these doctor's appointments to find out what's wrong, they just stare the obvious'.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 10:05

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

LadyPictureShow posted:

What is the 'naked man move'? Splaying out naked on the bed when she comes into the room?

LOL at 'he has all these doctor's appointments to find out what's wrong, they just stare the obvious'.

You do the helicopter wang thing and say �hey baby, all you can eat� or if you�re in Yorkshire �eh up lass, see owt yer like?�

# ? Jul 3, 2019 10:23

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

The Grand Pee Incident

quote:

Situational context: I work in an office with approximately 350+ people. The majority of them sit in cubicles and people higher up the food chain get offices. Due to changing departments and staff coming and going it is sometimes necessary to shuffle staff around to ensure departments are housed together.

Story: It became necessary to move Joe from our department to a new department he had transferred to. This move would require him to be on the complete other side of the building. To make room for Joe it was necessary to move two other people closer to their departmental staff. One of these people is the office hamPLANET, who we will call Sheila. Sheila had been in the same office for four years. Sheila moves to her new office. Joe is preparing to move into Sheila's vacated office and lo and behold it reeks of urine! Without telling me exactly what to expect, Joe asked me to come by to see if he was just being super sensitive about an odd smell. He was NOT being sensitive! I could smell the urine outside the door and I told Joe "Dude, this office smells like pee!" Joe did not officially move to the office because it was literally uninhabitable.

Sheila is approximately five feet tall and around 550 pounds. She is able to walk with the assistance of a cane. But it is more like lurching as she wheezes to catch her breath from the shortest walk. She is larger around then her height. My guess is that her short arms are unable to reach her cooch to properly wipe after she urinates.

Joe asked Office Management to please clean the carpets, assuming maybe some pee accidentally got into the carpet. They call in an outside professional carpet cleaning company. The cleaning has zero effect, so much so that Joe complained and thought they had not come to do the cleaning. The cleaning company comes back to try again. Also zero effect on this disgusting smell.

Joe refuses to move into the office until the smell is resolved. This causes an issue as someone is waiting to move into Joe's old office. The decision is finally made by upper management that they will pay to have the carpet removed and replaced. This is certainly not an inexpensive option but anyone visiting the office would undeniably understand that the office could not be occupied.

The new carpet solved the smell issue. But as Joe was moving into the new desk (in our office all the furniture is the same so it remains in the office it is assigned to and does not move when people move) he literally had to call building maintenance to bring a vacuum cleaner with a hose attachment to suck up the tons of food crumbs in every nook and cranny.

Sheila is now stinking up a new office.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 10:52

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

I'll never forget being a desktop support person and walking into a guys very nice office (he had the door open) to replace his machine for him to give me this deer in the headlights look from on top of his Swiss ball chair

Maybe a second later the smell of a fart hit me

# ? Jul 3, 2019 10:58

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Now we return to the classics.

Husband found and watched my old sex videos
I thought I had deleted everything when my ex and I broke up. These files were somehow hidden to where I couldn�t even find them. Fast forward 9 years, my husband was searching for some files, and bam a bunch of thumbnails pop up of images of me and my ex having sex, from 9 years ago. My husband told me that day it happened, he was more upset that I never knew they were there and never deleted them. He swore to me he wouldn�t watch them. He said he immediately tried to delete them but it wouldn�t work as they were administrator only files and then he was more pissed because we couldn�t figure out how to delete. He was in a dark place for a while and would come in and out of being ok. Here we are 3 months later and he was up one night and I suppose curiosity got the best of him and he watched some. Now he�s completely gone off the deep end. He feels insecure because I had great sex, he thought he was the only one I had ever done and said things like that with, and now he can�t unsee it. He will never see me the same. I know this. As much as it�s my fault for stupidly having them on my computer, he decided to watch and now he�s ruined. He�s temporarily in a hotel and completely incapable of even looking at me. He�s confided in a buddy of his, and this friend has told him that I�m a great woman and wife and mom, etc. I really am a great wife and mom and I love him and my family to pieces. We have 2 babies. I cannot imagine my husband leaving me because he will never see me the same sexually. I need advice from a man. What would you do? What can I do for him to make him feel better and to start working on mending? I�m so pissed he watched some but also we can�t take it back now so there�s no point dwelling on that. EDIT: for everyone asking why I still had them 3 months later, it�s because he took possession of my computer and told me he would take care of it because he didn�t want me seeing it. So he took 3 months, not me.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:01

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

MasBrillante posted:

Another foreigner lured to flyover country. God Bless.

Kind of reminds me of that Australian guy who became a public enemy for saying he hated living in Singapore and that the average IQ dropped by ten points if they kicked him out or something to that effect

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:17

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Australia sounds like a fascinating place.

Apart from the poisonous everything.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:21

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Power Khan posted:

Now we return to the classics.

Husband found and watched my old sex videos

Ouch lol

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:21

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I can't believe you had sex before me. This... this literally breaks my mind

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:24

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Zzulu posted:

I can't believe you had sex before me. This... this literally breaks my mind

Lol

Here we go with this merry go round.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:28

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for refusing to apologize to my nephew for deleting videos he took of my (clothed) daughter's butt

quote:

Scenario: Family trip...my (early 40sF) nephew (young elementary school age) is following my daughter (late elementary school age) and her female cousins (all late elementary school age) with an iPad taking videos of their clothed butts and saying he will put it on the internet. The girls are trying to hide from him. His parents were not at home and so one of his uncles asks him to stop. Nephew ignores him. I walk up to him and ask him for his iPad. He refuses. I tell him I will call his parents; he screams no, but then hands me the iPad. I delete 3 videos. The whole interaction takes maybe 1 minute. Nephew then falls to the floor screaming that I deleted his favorite video from a few days prior. Myself and the 4 other adults in the room ignore the tantrum and then after about 20 minutes he calms down. His parents come home and ask him what happened and he gets upset again. I think the situation was over but...

The next day my husband (mid 40s) comes to me and tells me I need to make it right with the nephew's parents (his brother and SIL - both in their late 40s). He says they are upset with me and they have re-instated the videos. He says I will do damage to the relationship with them if I do not apologize (this brother and my husband are very close).

I outright refuse. I tell my husband that I was standing up for my daughter and that she has the right not to feel uncomfortable. I do not believe nephew would have put the videos online, but to me this is about showing my daughter she is our priority and I will stand up for her when she is uncomfortable. Making nice vs. my daughter is how I see it. Now, husband and nephew's parents are both mad at me.

AITA for refusing to apologize?

the family tree

# ? Jul 3, 2019 12:47

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006; Can't post for 3 days!

QuarkJets posted:

He is stating a fact by saying that the employee isn't providing a positive ROI, I am stating a fact by saying that it's dehumanizing to see employees as nothing but a means to make more money. It doesn't offend me that he feels that way, some people are just like that

I smell an unreliable and passive-aggressive narrator here. He claims to have warned the employee repeatedly, but the employee seems to have no idea he is on thin ice. The decent thing to do as an employer is to sit him down and explain explicitly that his continued employment is at risk for (detail reasons here). Give them some time, whether it's a month or three, and if possible some specific goals for that period. If the employee can't (or won't) improve, at least they have the opportunity to look for another job instead of being suddenly out on their rear end.

There's a huge power imbalance between someone paying wages and someone relying on those wages. The bad salesman isnt entitled to a job, but since it sounds like his only offense was not performing to standards it's not unreasonable to try to make the transition out less one-sided.

e: Yeah, OP claims he did that and salesman might just be terrible all around, but I don't think he communicated the warning as effectively as he thought he did. Putting it on paper is a good idea.

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Jul 3, 2019

# ? Jul 3, 2019 13:22

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

chitoryu12 posted:

Imagine living in NYC and somehow only going to specific pizza places that require subway trips instead of the slice joints that you loving trip over on every corner.

These places usually have the best pizza anyway.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 13:56

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Some people are just very bad employees. You can get stuck with these a lot if you hire someone based on family or friends recommendations.

You should hire people based on references from previous employers, to avoid situations like "i hired a salesman with no skill in sales"

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:03

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

chitoryu12 posted:

For some reason the r/relationship_advice subreddit has way better stories.

My boyfriend (21M) hates my (20F) vagina with a passion

Boyfriend is a gigantic baby. You need to :sever:

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:03

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

MightyJoe36 posted:

Boyfriend is a gigantic baby. You need to

You should read the follow up.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:12

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I've never found vaginas to be particularly pleasing to the eye but like, who gives a poo poo. It's not for display in an art gallery. It's a soft moist ugly hole for my ugly lovehog

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:18

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

LadyPictureShow posted:

Boooooooooo!

Boo this man!

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:23

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

I think I know the boss in the bad salesman story because every detail including the timelines lines up and the writing style is similar. You're fine to fire the dude, M. You've given plenty of warning and assistance and he's not responding. If he needs a job to take care of his baby then maybe he should actually do the job he has.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:23

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Zzulu posted:

I've never found vaginas to be particularly pleasing to the eye but like, who gives a poo poo. It's not for display in an art gallery.

Lomarf

you haven't really been to a lot of art galleries have you

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:24

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Sagebrush posted:

I think I know the boss in the bad salesman story because every detail including the timelines lines up and the writing style is similar. You're fine to fire the dude, M. You've given plenty of warning and assistance and he's not responding. If he needs a job to take care of his baby then maybe he should actually do the job he has.

Wait... are the streams crossing???

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:24

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Girlfriend�s parents say I embarrassed them by teaching their daughter. Time to go ?

quote:

Long story short, my girlfriend has already been heavily spoiled by her parents and the tonnes of pathetic chasers that are willing to do anything for her like a queen, before we were together. I just didn�t realise it would be this bad.

So to sum up, recently it was her birthday, and she literally nagged and nitpicked everything, from the restaurant (tables without table cloth, curtains not good, waiters not smart enough, food not good, plates not pretty, air conditioner too cold, too many people, too noisy, there�s mosquitoes which will bite her), to the cake, to the gift, to the location of the restaurant (the fact that we have to walk a while to get up here, like literally 10 mins, but she�s wearing high heels so I can relate).

Since we were eating with her parents, she has been throwing these moods at me all the way when we were walking from the station, all the way even when we sat down, and she continued to sulk and threw tantrums about all the things mentioned above, in front of her parents.

She even began saying poo poo like; next time, I�ll arrange the birthday celebration myself. Can�t really trust you. Right, next year you probably ain�t here too, no worries.

That moment I kept controlling myself to talk back and kept saying: it�s okay. I�ll do better...etc, but I could no longer take this crap anymore (she�s been acting like this back then, not just on the birthday, but today I�ve opened my eyes wide). I spoke up to her and reasoned with her. I said: I planned everything for you since I love you, and the least thing you could do is appreciate ? How do you think it makes me feel if you keep saying those things ? I have emotions too.

And then she started crying and said I�m abusing her and embarrassing her in front of her parents. Her parents seemed cool and they should know their daughter well, so they just defused the situation.

Now day�s over. Once they�re back home, they love to have these family discussions. My girlfriend called me that night and said: I�m very disappointed. You embarrassed me and thrashed my party. Now I�ll forever remember this 2xth birthday every year. And my parents said you embarrassed them too because it feels like you�re helping them to teach their daughter, implying they don�t know how to teach her.

Man....am I just new to this world? What�s up with these ?

Oh and an update: she thinks I have bipolar syndrome since I normally wouldn�t talk back and suddenly does. Also, she thinks I�m evil and has been plotting this for a long time to destroy her birthday....she said no one has ever talked to her like this before and I have a lot of guts.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:29

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

chitoryu12 posted:

Girlfriend’s parents say I embarrassed them by teaching their daughter. Time to go ?

Why are you dating this person

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:33

sandoz: Jan 29, 2009

haha woah, art? more like fart!

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:35

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

I smell an unreliable and passive-aggressive narrator here. He claims to have warned the employee repeatedly, but the employee seems to have no idea he is on thin ice. The decent thing to do as an employer is to sit him down and explain explicitly that his continued employment is at risk for (detail reasons here). Give them some time, whether it's a month or three, and if possible some specific goals for that period. If the employee can't (or won't) improve, at least they have the opportunity to look for another job instead of being suddenly out on their rear end.

The guy wasn't even close to ever meeting his quotas according to OP. I think it's reasonable to assume he knew he was on thin ice.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:39

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Fart? More like Queef! haha thats a fart that comes from vageenas

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:41

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Pirate Radar posted:

I’m in loving awe at people in this thread reading even the first post about the guy with some kind of trauma and saying, “well, he either secretly likes men or he isn’t performing the kind of heterosexual masculinity I expect, therefore, gaaaaaaaaaaay”

Lol that you think it's weird to assume a guy that is grossed out by vaginas may possibly be gay. The possible trauma wasn't really revealed until the follow up filled in some more detail.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:48

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

QuarkJets posted:

I'm slowly becoming more and more repulsed by my husband and don't know what to do.

Help reddit my husband is a fat lazy gamer who utterly repulses me and refuses to change, what should I do?

lol at the husband for thinking that she'll get in the mood if he just does the dishes occasionally

WHAT IS THE NAKED MAN MOVE??

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:48

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

zakharov posted:

You should read the follow up.

Read the follow up. Feel bad for calling him a gigantic baby. She should still :sever:

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:50

Saros: Dec 29, 2009; Its almost like we're a Bureaucracy, in space!

I set sail for the Planet of Lab Requisitions!!

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

WHAT IS THE NAKED MAN MOVE??

It's off a sitcom, I think how I met your mother and its basically just randomly getting naked on a date.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 14:53

Dr. Video Games 0135: May 20, 2003; That's gonna be a zoinks from me, Scoob

*walks in bedroom, wheezing, and strips off clothes, leaving a corona of food crumbs around the spot where I'm standing*

Fair lady, I have cleaned the dishes! Now prepare thyself for the acceptance of my watery gamer seed!

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:20

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

AITA for telling a friend she should rethink her baby's name

quote:

A friend of mine recently had a baby and gave him a name this is commonly used to refer to a type of drug. I've never heard it used in any other context until the birth sms came through. I clarified his name a few times because it wasn't always clear in her posts and messages what his name actually was.

Today she sent a message about leaving the hospital and referred to him by his middle name - a very standard name in the country we're in. I clarified again and she said she's not sure which name she'll use for him and that the other name has a special meaning in her country of origin.

I sent her a private message outside of the group and said the middle name is a beautiful one and that it might make his life easier in this country if she were to use that because the other name has a very different meaning here.

she's not responded. I know you're not meant to criticise the names parents choose but... honestly it was not a good idea to use this name.

AITA?

commenter posted:

I�m sorry, I�ve got to ask the name

OP posted:

Meth.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:33

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I need to know what country has Meth as meaningful baby name.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:37

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

zakharov posted:

I need to know what country has Meth as meaningful baby name.

I looked and all I've found so far is that it's a last name that refers to a brewery of mead.

Edit: "Companion" in Hindi

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:41

Koalas March: May 21, 2007

Beachcomber posted:

I looked and all I've found so far is that it's a last name that refers to a brewery of mead.

I've found it means "Companion" and is Indian but idk

Edit: lmao

Also protip if you decide to Google this I suggest something like "meth baby name meaning origin" because otherwise your results will end up with nothing but babies born addicted to methamphetamine and it'll take the wind out of your sails.

Koalas March fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Jul 3, 2019

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:43

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Power Khan posted:

My(M18) boyfriend (M19) wants us to have sex to the entire Elder Scrolls soundtrack
I'm actually serious and I have no idea what to do

Help

Do it while wearing costumes from the game. It is a role-playing game

But if he yells out "FUS RO DAH" while ejaculating, you have my permission to feed him to some wolves

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:50

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Meth could also be short for "Methuselah" although absolutely have no idea how it is commonly used throughout the world

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:53

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Beachcomber posted:

I looked and all I've found so far is that it's a last name that refers to a brewery of mead.

Edit: "Companion" in Hindi

Yeah sorry this is a situation where you need to consider your country of residence when picking a name.

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:53

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 10:21

Best Bi Geek Squid: Mar 25, 2016

welcome to hell posted:

AITA for telling a friend she should rethink her baby's name

# ? Jul 3, 2019 15:57

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