/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Dazerbeams posted:

Gouge out that pregnancy fetish man’s eyes. Also give him tapeworms.

That’s got to be child abuse though, right? Making your small child watch you give birth?

Seriously, that event pretty clearly hosed him up

# ? Jul 5, 2019 23:59

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 12:30

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for banning my brother in law from my house after he had sex in my bed?

gently caress in your bed, i'll gently caress anywhere, ill gently caress on a pile of your clean dishes strewn on the bed like a pokey game of bareback twister

# ? Jul 5, 2019 23:59

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for feeding scandalous lies to my male friend after he asked intrusive questions about my first lesbian relationship?

I was on the fence about this one until she mentioned her girlfriend was fine with it, at which point I was 100% on board. My only critique is that there was probably more room for ridiculous escalation before springing the threesome trap/punchline.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:00

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

simply train her to open fire as a stress response

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for feeding scandalous lies to my male friend after he asked intrusive questions about my first lesbian relationship?

-I've been dating A for 6 months, we're both girls and both 21. My friend B has shown a lot of interest in out relationship and constantly asks about her and how it's going, I thought he was just being supportive because it's my first ever relationship

-He started asking increasingly intrusive questions (�how often do you kiss� �how many girls has she been with� �do you think you prefer sex with guys or girls� �doesn�t it feel kinda taboo or does that just make it exciting�, that kinda thing). He also kept trying to get me and A to make out in front of him, at a party which I didn't think anything of at the time

-I eventually realised what was going on - he was kinda turned on by me being with a girl. Idk if he had a crush on me or if it was just a sort of �omg wow real life lesbians!!� thing but at any rate I felt uncomfortable and infuriated that he would turn my relationship into a fetish, when the whole time I thought he just cared about me. And all those questions were probably fueling his weird sexual fantasy of us.

-I wanted to be sure before I called him out on it, so I wouldn't look like a self-obsessed psycho. so the next time he brought up sex I played along and fed him a bunch of lies and he took the loving bait

-I told him we're in a 24/7 sub dom type thing (I knew he was a dom so I thought he'd like to believe that). he asked for details, which I happily gave. I said she sits on my face for an hour every night while watching netflix, she doesn't let me wear clothes when I'm at her apartment, I wear a remote control vibrator when we go out to dinner, she sometimes doesn't let me cum for days!!! the cherry on top: she wants a threesome with a guy because she misses dick SO MUCH and dildos just aren�t the same, and I'm a bit nervous about the idea but would do anything to make her happy (this conversation happened over text obviously, I couldn't have kept a straight face). He obviously volunteered himself, and later said he had always thought it was "so loving hot" that I'm gay.

-I came clean and he's now loving furious at me. He's upset I lied to him, upset I thought he was a creep (but he literally confirmed my suspicions??) and upset I lead him on (i guess he�s disappointed that I don�t wanna have a kinky threesome with him and my 24/7 slave master girlfriend but jesus christ dude life is not a porno)

-He also said I encouraged him, even before that last conversation. I definitely didn't, I just didn't shut it down either because i DIDNT KNOW he was fetishising me. asking about your friend�s sex life is okay but only if they�re comfortable with it and it�s definitely not okay if you�re getting off on it without them knowing. I felt so violated. I can't blame him for feeling that way but it's still loving creepy.

-I only lied to him to make sure I was right (since it's quite a serious accusation lol) and because I thought it would be loving hilarious, which it was (my gf was also fine with it)

hahahahahahah this girl is the greatest

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:04

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for feeding scandalous lies to my male friend after he asked intrusive questions about my first lesbian relationship?

The loving gall of this dude for acting like he's the victim, god drat

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:06

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for telling my wife her cousin isn't a doctor but an intern.

First things first I have a heart problem for which I have to go to a cardiologist. My wife's cousin is a doctor in training.

I had problems with my heart so I made an appointment with my cardiologist. My wife told me to go to her cousin as he is a great doctor. I told her that it was a specific symptom and I need to go to my cardiologist.

We had a big fight and in the fight I told her that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet, and let alone be a cardiologist.

A week later I had my appointment, and afterwards I needed to pick up the kids from my mother in law. She said nothing to me, handed me my kids stuff and told the kids to go.

So AITA for telling my wife that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:11

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

She's a grad student in Engineering; I refuse to believe this is the first time she's had an awkward touchy-feely nice guy friend pull this poo poo.

Can't find anything called Obstinate Defiant Disorder but Google corrects it to Oppositional Defiant Disorder, which is only a thing kids are diagnosed with. Unless it progressed into antisocial personality disorder he should've already grown out of it. Man-child just needs to take some anger management classes or something.

Yeah, I have a friend who is the kind of academic who knows every difference between DSM IV and DSM V, and she rolled her eyes when I said "yeah I have ODD, that's my fuckin problem"

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:27

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for not letting someone with the same name as me come to my wedding?

quote:

TLDR: maid of honor wants to bring her neighbor as her "date" but he has the same first and last name as me (groom). This really bugs me and I am considering "vetoing" it or whatever.

My Fiance, has 3 roommates, of which 1 is Bridesmaid and one is Maid of Honor. They live in a duplex and 3 guys live next door. Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid hang out with guys occasionally so when they found out about the wedding one of guys asked if he could come so Bridesmaid said she could take him as her "date" and so Maid of Honor offered to take one of the guys as well. The problem is that the guy Maid of Honor is planning on taking has the same first and last name as me, Groom. I only just found out about this today when the Maid of Honor sent her RSVP and I got the notification. I had known a bunch of the bridal party would have dates and had rented an airbnb to stay at since the wedding is out of town, but had never really cared about the specifics.

I know it is a kind of petty thing to care about but it just irks me that on a day that is meant to be a celebration of myself and Fiance there will be a random guy there with my same exact name. The relationship between Maid of Honor and guy is not romantic (which also pisses me off since our venue is space limited and also each guest costs money in terms of dinner, dessert, etc so we had to be pretty selective in terms of what friends we could invite and we aren't made of money, but Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid decided to invite the neighbor bois, taking guest spots that could have gone to actual friends that we had to cut. This part wouldn't bother me as much if they were romantically involved instead of just the neighbors that moved in 6 months ago).

I have talked to Fiance about it and she understands why I feel the way I do. If she had thought it would be an issue she would have told me about it several months ago. Now we are less than 4 weeks out, the airbnb has been booked, the plans have been made, etc., etc. Fiance is willing to talk to Maid of Honor if I want and see if she can do anything and I am tempted to ask her to tell the Maid of Honor not to bring him/find someone else but I'm afraid it may be too late for that.

AITA if I decide not to let him come?

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:27

Barudak: May 7, 2007

John Joseph Jingleheimer Schmitt should really have a better attitude to these sort of things by now

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:31

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not letting someone with the same name as me come to my wedding?

I'm pretty sure people will know the difference between the groom and someone's +1 my dude

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

John Joseph Jingleheimer Schmitt should really have a better attitude to these sort of things by now

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:34

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Danaru posted:

I'm pretty sure people will know the difference between the groom and someone's +1 my dude

You really think?

Imagine the priest asks if anyone had any reason these two should not be married, and this guy comes running up waving his driver's license

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:39

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Danaru posted:

I'm pretty sure people will know the difference between the groom and someone's +1 my dude

This guy's post history mostly involves guns, gaming, women on Twitch, and he's into Trump. I'd buy that he's stupid enough not to realize this.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:39

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

John JACOB Jingleheimer Schmidt you barbarians!

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

chitoryu12 posted:

AITA for being upset at my wife's friend for telling us we can adopt her unborn child, only for her to terminate it a week later?

Peeked in the comments. Surprise, he's just an anti-abortion fucko.

OP posted:

Adoption period is better than what she did. If she gave it to any home, I would have been overjoyed.

quote:

It's impulsive because every day matters. Women are forced to believe that abortion is immediately the best thing for them if they don't want a baby. She was describing the horrible pain and trauma that Plan C caused when she aborted her baby. Any day that we can intervene and offer another option is, to you, an impulsive day where in our lives we may have saved a life and given a child a home. It's not like we could take a year to think about it. We wanted to help, so we offered every resource we possibly have.

quote:

Not only males discuss abortion. A discussion about war and actually living through a war are two different scenarios. Talking about having a baby and actually having one are two completely different scenarios. This has nothing to do with men versus women.

Another highlight of his post history:

reply to "AITA for going to church with homophobic members?" posted:

NTA. Churches teach the Bible. The Bible teaches things that may be offensive to people, but enjoying the people that go there and loving them doesn't make you an rear end in a top hat, even if you disagree with some of the theology.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:41

Geoj: May 28, 2008; BITTER POOR PERSON

Is intentionally referring to Plan B as "Plan C" a thing in pro-life circles?

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:43

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Haifisch posted:

Peeked in the comments. Surprise, he's just an anti-abortion fucko.

Another highlight of his post history:

How does this guy loving dare try to spin "abortions hurt" into "so she should give birth instead"??

Geoj posted:

Is intentionally referring to Plan B as "Plan C" a thing in pro-life circles?

Cytotec is sometimes called "plan C." Plan B is a morning after pill, Plan C is a proper medical abortion. Generally, it's a mifepristone and misoprostol (Cytotec) cocktail, but for various reasons, availability of mifepristone can be limited, so you CAN just take Cytotec instead.

Midnight Voyager fucked around with this message at 00:48 on Jul 6, 2019

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:44

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Haifisch posted:

Peeked in the comments. Surprise, he's just an anti-abortion fucko.

Another highlight of his post history:

I'd bet money he made the story up to frame it as "she killed a BABY who could have had a HOME" and is pissed people didnt take the bait because whoops it's her fuckin' body so it's her choice

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:48

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Something topical for the thread:

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:49

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Yes, bath water. That�s why she broke up with him.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 00:56

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my wife her cousin isn't a doctor but an intern.

First things first I have a heart problem for which I have to go to a cardiologist. My wife's cousin is a doctor in training.

I had problems with my heart so I made an appointment with my cardiologist. My wife told me to go to her cousin as he is a great doctor. I told her that it was a specific symptom and I need to go to my cardiologist.

We had a big fight and in the fight I told her that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet, and let alone be a cardiologist.

A week later I had my appointment, and afterwards I needed to pick up the kids from my mother in law. She said nothing to me, handed me my kids stuff and told the kids to go.

So AITA for telling my wife that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet

Lol NTA.

Gonna go to the dermatologist for my heart problem lol.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:01

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my wife her cousin isn't a doctor but an intern.

First things first I have a heart problem for which I have to go to a cardiologist. My wife's cousin is a doctor in training.

I had problems with my heart so I made an appointment with my cardiologist. My wife told me to go to her cousin as he is a great doctor. I told her that it was a specific symptom and I need to go to my cardiologist.

We had a big fight and in the fight I told her that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet, and let alone be a cardiologist.

A week later I had my appointment, and afterwards I needed to pick up the kids from my mother in law. She said nothing to me, handed me my kids stuff and told the kids to go.

So AITA for telling my wife that her cousin isn't a real doctor yet

Interns are doctors, and if a good one would be able to bring in the best people from their practice to handle this. So.....maybe an idiot maybe not. Depends on the wife's cousin.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:02

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

MasBrillante posted:

Yes, bath water. That�s why she broke up with him.

To be fair if my spouse came in from the mail with a bottle of dirty bath water from some internet rando I'd seriously be having a long and hard think about my relatioship.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:04

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Literally A Person posted:

Something topical for the thread:

Belle Delphine is astoundingly good at taking money from idiots.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:04

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

I'm kinda surprised Blizzard haven't got on her case though.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:07

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

VanSandman posted:

Belle Delphine is astoundingly good at taking money from idiots.

Gotta respect the grift when those getting grifted are gross.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:20

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Literally A Person posted:

Something topical for the thread:

Man, I was confused for a minute. I thought this was some sort of bath bomb or salts or something.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:22

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

If I had fuckers lining up to buy my dirty bath water you bet your rear end I�d sell the hell out of it.

I respect her game.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:25

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

VanSandman posted:

Belle Delphine is astoundingly good at taking money from idiots.

Girl started a PornHub account and it's stuff like "Belle Delphine takes a MASSIVE LOAD" and it's her carrying laundry or someshit. It's awesome and i'm pretty sure was funded by some premium tier subs.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:41

Barudak: May 7, 2007

therobit posted:

John JACOB Jingleheimer Schmidt you barbarians!

Nah those are the fellows the next town over, the bunch of protestant bastards

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:45

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

AITA for loving with this guy on the plane?

quote:

I recently started to look a lot like your average Muslim. Got a black beard and a short hair and apparently the eyes of one too according to my family. I do have some Muslim related origins which probably is a big reason for this. And, although I'm not one myself, I'm friends with some Muslims.

I also tend to wear relatively "big" clothes that kind of drag, and that look a bit religious.

Anyway, a few days ago I was on a flight of a few hours. Keep in mind this is the US. I got through security, got on the plane, everything's fine so far.

Now, however, this dude from across my row started throwing suspicious looks at me. He was a little behind me on the other side, so he could always see what I'm doing and I kind of had him at the edge of my view. And when I looked at my laptop I could also see him pretty clearly in the reflection.

I get it, I get it, "Muslim on a plane" is all that he was thinking about. He didn't approach me, he just seemed like he was constantly worried about me. He had one leg out of his seat for most of the flight and always looked at me, barely even tried to hide it.

I felt like having a little fun, so I decided, since nothing bad is going to happen like he thinks, I'll mess with him. I opened up a small book through my backpack and acted like I'm praying in Arabic and poo poo. I took deep breaths sometimes, like I'm readying myself up for some kamikaze mission. I looked at my watch many times like I'm waiting for something.

Poor guy was buying it. He seemed absolutely terrified, started whispering to others, kept his eyes on me even more. He was convinced I'm gonna blow up the plane or something. I thought it was hilarious. The guy wasn't being directly offensive to me, but neither was I to him. I was just doing things at my seat. Yes, I knew how he would interpret them, but frankly I thought we'd be just even.

I told my friends about it last night and some of them said I'm a douche and should've let it slide and just sleep off the flight or not pay attention to him. They said he probably would've slept himself if I hadn't kept him up because of everything I was doing.

I think what I did was the "proper" punishment for someone like him. I don't blame him for worrying, I don't think he's racist or anything. But nor should anyone blame me for doing things from my seat, right?

So AITA?

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:46

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Literally A Person posted:

To be fair if my spouse came in from the mail with a bottle of dirty bath water from some internet rando I'd seriously be having a long and hard think about my relatioship.

Right, but that post said �breaking up over some bath water� which implies that it�s NOT creepy to purchase lady bath water from the internet.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:48

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

VanSandman posted:

Belle Delphine is astoundingly good at taking money from idiots.

MarcusSA posted:

If I had fuckers lining up to buy my dirty bath water you bet your rear end I�d sell the hell out of it.
I respect her game.

It's her moral obligation to take the money from these gross idiots. I googled it because a part of me was hoping it wasn't real but

"I have had a bunch of odd requests, some have asked me to spit in the water, pee in it and requested the water to come off my body and drip into the bottle from.. certain areas," she adds. "Honestly with the kind of messages that I get daily these requests don�t weird me out anymore."

# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:57

Barudak: May 7, 2007

It has D.Va iconography on it so i dont respect her willingness to open herself up to possible lawsuits on this business venture.

Everything else is fine in this post kinkshaming world

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Xik posted:

It's her moral obligation to take the money from these gross idiots. I googled it because a part of me was hoping it wasn't real but

"I have had a bunch of odd requests, some have asked me to spit in the water, pee in it and requested the water to come off my body and drip into the bottle from.. certain areas," she adds. "Honestly with the kind of messages that I get daily these requests don�t weird me out anymore."

many things are not weird to sex workers any more, because men are freaks

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:05

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Mods?

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:06

revmoo: May 25, 2006; #basta

Haifisch posted:

AITA for loving with this guy on the plane?

"I decided to pour salt on deep national wounds by making a passenger on my plane thing I was going to murder them all. AITA?"

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:06

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Pinecone Sample posted:

Otherwise kind Husband takes out video game aggression on me

How did the "mom, the game cheated" generation get married

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:10

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 12:30

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

WIBTA if I reported an acquaintance's pictures of her daughter on Facebook?

quote:

An acquaintance of mine that I'm friends with on Facebook keeps posting pictures of her daughter shirtless/almost naked outside, by the kiddie pool, or just around the house. Now, this isn't a newborn, infant, or toddler. This little girl is starting school the beginning of the school year(so around 5-ish years old). I've tried talking to her and her bf about it, but she gets defensive and tells me I'm what's wrong with the world and that her daughter can dress the way she wants(ok, sure, but that doesn't mean you should post her almost completely nude or shirtless)..her bf just let's his gf do whatever since it's her daughter.

Would I be the rear end in a top hat if I reported the pictures? I just don't want to see anything happen.. there's a lot of freaks out there.

Edit: so because a person is concerned because they were abused as a child, that person is a creep because they want to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to them. Almost everyone here has been an rear end in a top hat to me(a lot.in DMs). For a sub about wanting advice, most of you sure loving horrible people and throw insults like it's nothing. Mods, seriously, it's loving disgusting how many actual assholes there are on this sub. I expected a couple of insults, but for 99% to call me a creep because I don't want a little girl to go through what I did.. loving hell. It's not like I was going to call CPS ffs.

# ? Jul 6, 2019 02:13

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