Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Star Trek: *hits blunt* The higher, the fewerrrrrr

«‹›2724 »

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Nodosaur posted:

Mr. Woof?

# ? Jul 11, 2019 04:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 13:49

Alan_Shore: Dec 2, 2004

His dog will probably be called Rene.

Watched Amok Time last night. Really good! The remastered version has some nice little additions, like when they're walking to the arena.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 04:37

BioEnchanted: Aug 9, 2011; He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

I'm watching The Drumhead from TNG and I like that the Admiral's dress collar strongly resembles rose petals with how it layers. It's visually striking.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 04:43

Hipster_Doofus: Dec 20, 2003; Lovin' every minute of it.

Sash! posted:

I can safely say, that to know Star Trek was to hate it. And to hate it, was to know it. Those who knew it, hated it, while those who did not know it, hated it from afar.

: "Sash!..."
:smug:

: "I am almost finished, sir."
:ughh:

: "You are finished, Sash!"

# ? Jul 11, 2019 05:05

Angry Salami: Jul 27, 2013; Don't trust the skull.

Epicurius posted:

So something I learned today...in 1967, they put out Star Trek trading cards, which you can find at the link below, and the text on them was pretty interesting.

https://www.wixiban.com/trading-cards/tos-leaf.htm

These are all fantastic.

quote:

You Give Me a Headache
Dr. McCoy is amused as he gives Captain Kirk an instant headache. He has developed this strange new ability so the Enterprise crew can hold back a warring band of creatures holding Earth Colonists captives. When the captives are free, Dr. McCoy frees the enemy from its headaches and Kirk makes peace with them.

quote:

Mindless Man
Captain Kirk strains to think but his mind is a complete blank. Every thinking capacity of his brain has been stopped by a ray from creatures on a distant planet. Helplessly, the captain wanders the alien planet. If just one thought can enter his mind�he sees a flower and thinks how small it is. He is saved.

quote:

Trapped
Mr. Spock finds himself the target of an enemy ion fuser. He remembers that the enemy deadly as they are, have a sense of humor. If he can distract them with a joke. Almost humorless himself, he tries desperately to remember an Earth joke. At last, he remembers�"Why does a chicken cross the road?"

# ? Jul 11, 2019 05:54

Number_6: Jul 23, 2006; BAN ALL GAS GUZZLERS

(except for mine); Pillbug

I see Picard as more of a "cat" man. Something like a Siamese or Abyssinian.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 06:10

Astroman: Apr 8, 2001

Angry Salami posted:

These are all fantastic.

Man, they are always coming at Spock with those Ion Fusers!

Unironically want to see this one:

quote:

Beyond Tomorrow
Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock brief the Enterprise crew on a mission into the future. The Starcraft will attempt to cross the threshold of tim, to prevent a future intergalactic war. Kirk notes the crew will see new strange sights, remember nothing. No record can be made of the trip. Only men of the future will know if their mission is successful.

Though I'm not sure if it is canon that any Starcraft can cross the threshold of Tim. That dude won't let anyone in his house.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 06:34

Quicksilver6: Mar 21, 2008

I desperately wish these were real episodes. My personal favorite:

quote:

Captain Kirk goes crazy after a mad scientist attempts to split his personality. Kirk kills the scientist in a fight and the cure for Kirk goes to the grave with him. The Captain changes from good to evil. Mr. Spock suggests the crew think good and this effort at telepathy saves Kirk.

THINK MORE GOOD-ER THOUGHTS, CREW!

E: Oh my god

quote:

A weird gas causes Mr. Spock to believe he is a 1967 Teeny-Bopper

# ? Jul 11, 2019 06:45

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Some of these sound incredible

quote:

Kirk Outside Spock Inside
Crew members of the Enterprise stare in confusion. They see Captain Kirk bu the personality is Mr. Spock. The two officers exploring an unknown rock planet are trapped for several hours in a cavern. When they are rescued their personalities are switched. Dr. McCoy returns them to normal with ion shock treatments

quote:

Space Race
Kirk challenges Mr. Spock to a game of space chess. He is confident he can defeat the Vulcanian because he has the emotions of Earth Man. Spock plays with the cool, emotionlessness of his ancestry. To him it is a game of logic. To Kirk, it is a game of logic, too, but with the emotion of winning thrown in. Spock is winning easily. But Kirk, caring about victory, wins

Mods please change my name to Earth Man Emotions

# ? Jul 11, 2019 07:17

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

If season three of Discovery doesn�t have ion fusers, I�m going to be very disappointed.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 07:26

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

More screens from the Picard show

# ? Jul 11, 2019 07:49

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

He�s seen everything. He�s seen it all.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 07:56

Drone: Aug 22, 2003; Incredible machine

Senor Tron posted:

Having a dog totally fits Picard.

It would have been unwillingly foisted upon him, and for a couple of days he would have grumpily put up with it muttering all the time about how he had to get rid of this damned thing. Then he would have fallen in love with it do to some admirable characteristic.

Way better than Kirk suddenly having a dog in Generations.

"BUTLER!"

That was definitely Shatner's IRL dog wasn't it, Timby help me out here

# ? Jul 11, 2019 08:14

Angry Salami: Jul 27, 2013; Don't trust the skull.

You don't remember all those episodes about Kirk's dog Butler, and the love of his life Antonia? Man, the Nexus sequence just summed up his life perfectly...

# ? Jul 11, 2019 09:15

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Mulan�s mother in the new Mulan trailer is Keiko O�Brien.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 10:57

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Gonz posted:

Mulan’s mother in the new Mulan trailer is Keiko O’Brien.

Such diverse roles as Asian Wife and

lol
Soon-Lee Klinger: Korean
Keiko O'Brien: Japanese
Mulan's Mom: Chinese

# ? Jul 11, 2019 12:24

mossyfisk: Nov 8, 2010; FF0000

did you know patrick stewart isn't french

# ? Jul 11, 2019 12:26

Winifred Madgers: Feb 12, 2002

mossyfisk posted:

did you know patrick stewart isn't french

shocking example of whitewashing

# ? Jul 11, 2019 12:56

Astroman: Apr 8, 2001

Angry Salami posted:

You don't remember all those episodes about Kirk's dog Butler, and the love of his life Antonia? Man, the Nexus sequence just summed up his life perfectly...

Turns out the uncredited ghostwriter for Generations was the guy who wrote those trading card plots.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 13:28

Sir Lemming: Jan 27, 2009; It's a piece of JUNK!

Epicurius posted:

So something I learned today...in 1967, they put out Star Trek trading cards, which you can find at the link below, and the text on them was pretty interesting.

https://www.wixiban.com/trading-cards/tos-leaf.htm

This probably means I've been spending too much time on Twitter, but these basically read like if Trump tweeted the plots of TOS episodes from memory

# ? Jul 11, 2019 13:51

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Sir Lemming posted:

This probably means I've been spending too much time on Twitter, but these basically read like if Trump tweeted the plots of TOS episodes from memory

They read like the TNG season 8 guy created a new account for TOS season 4.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 14:09

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

It turns out Discovery is entirely based on a parody SeinfeldToday-style TNG Today account:

https://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday/status/636953445451362304

# ? Jul 11, 2019 15:10

Nullsmack: Dec 7, 2001; Digital apocalypse

The Bloop posted:

Such diverse roles as Asian Wife and

lol
Soon-Lee Klinger: Korean
Keiko O'Brien: Japanese
Mulan's Mom: Chinese

Hold on now. Soon-Lee is Keiko?
My mind is blown.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 15:27

DaiTengu: Feb 26, 2007; Not until I've had my second pot of coffee.; Nap Ghost

Nullsmack posted:

Hold on now. Soon-Lee is Keiko?
My mind is blown.

ACTING!

# ? Jul 11, 2019 15:39

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Astroman posted:

Star Trek Picard1@STP_S1 Picard sets out for an adventure with Riker in the body of a dog. Troi is left to look after a dog in the body of Riker.

Why just Troi? Riker's body can fit as many people in it as is needed, if you know what I mean.

Basically my headcanon is Riker is now essentially John Barrowman's character from Doctor Who. As the Doctor put it, something like "by the year 50,000, your species's main accomplishment was to figure out how to have sex with any number, type, or gender of sentient beings in any situation."

Riker is the peak evolution of humanity I guess is what I'm saying.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 15:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Alan_Shore posted:

His dog will probably be called Rene.

Watched Amok Time last night. Really good! The remastered version has some nice little additions, like when they're walking to the arena.

fans have been producing additions to Amok Time since it aired

# ? Jul 11, 2019 16:01

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Episode 1: Picard teams up with Ro Laren to free her husband Tom Riker from a Cardassian fat camp, now run by post Romulus destruction Sela.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 16:16

Angry_Ed: Mar 30, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

They read like the TNG season 8 guy created a new account for TOS season 4.

Also I know someone already posted the one about Spock getting high off of gas and thinking he's a 1967 Teenybopper, but later on down the list he has yet another drug-induced identity crisis:

quote:

Call Me Senator
Mr. Spock believes himself a Roman Senator when a time debilitating drug is dropped into the drinking water of the Enterprise. There is no cure but the progression of time itself. However, it can be speeded up by forcing a person's mind to believe in the rapid escalation of time.

There's a lot of drugs-related plotlines here

quote:

Raspberries
Yeoman Janice Rand is angry at the Captain. He tells her that she has eaten so many wild raspberries on the planet the Enterprise visits he may cut down on her rations. The raspberries turn out to be drugged. Dr. McCoy makes a counter drug and saves the crew from dying.

I like how this one starts off sounding like The Caine Mutiny and then goes off the deep end.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 16:20

Drone: Aug 22, 2003; Incredible machine

AlBorlantern Corps posted:

Episode 1: Picard teams up with Ro Laren to free her husband Tom Riker from a Cardassian fat camp, now run by post Romulus destruction Sela.

Half the thread explodes with cries of needless fanservice. The other half loves it. Someone builds a trellis.

# ? Jul 11, 2019 16:25

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Are all Romulans just Vulcans who've had a drug-induced psychosis that they're Roman senators?

# ? Jul 11, 2019 16:28

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

Snow Cone Capone posted:

It turns out Discovery is entirely based on a parody SeinfeldToday-style TNG Today account:

https://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday/status/636953445451362304

drat that account has been inactive for 4 years now

# ? Jul 11, 2019 17:25

Winifred Madgers: Feb 12, 2002

Pakled posted:

Are all Romulans just Vulcans who've had a drug-induced psychosis that they're Roman senators?

# ? Jul 11, 2019 17:29

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

FlamingLiberal posted:

drat that account has been inactive for 4 years now

There's another one floating around but it's not as good

# ? Jul 11, 2019 17:39

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

Snow Cone Capone posted:

There's another one floating around but it's not as good

I think the TNG Season 8 one was also abandoned since the author(s) got a book deal

# ? Jul 11, 2019 18:00

Tears In A Vial: Jan 13, 2008

FlamingLiberal posted:

drat that account has been inactive for 4 years now

@seinfeld2000 still posts, but it's mostly just current meme + friends or Seinfeld, and selling shirts.

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/1147692846859710464?s=19

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/1147661256939040768?s=19

# ? Jul 11, 2019 18:44

Laterite: Mar 14, 2007; It's Gutfest '89; Grimey Drawer

Nullsmack posted:

Hold on now. Soon-Lee is Keiko?
My mind is blown.

holy poo poo

# ? Jul 11, 2019 18:46

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

Tears In A Vial posted:

@seinfeld2000 still posts, but it's mostly just current meme + friends or Seinfeld, and selling shirts.

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/1147692846859710464?s=19

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/1147661256939040768?s=19

Jesus, that sucks

# ? Jul 11, 2019 18:47