ComfyPants posted:

"Hi, I'm a friend of fight-man and just wanted to update everyone that he unfortunately passed away last week in the county jail. He got into a fight with another prisoner and the coroner reported that the cause of death was "extreme shivving."

Midnight Voyager posted:

Mother in law, actually. The dad is just "staying out of it."

Bohemian Nights posted:

"He took a swing at the other inmate who fell to the ground and then got a couple of good hits in, but was soon shoved off and put into a headlock before being stabbed multiple times with a sharpened piece of toilet porcelain"

estranged parent posted:

Hello, all! I have been a member for a few days but have spent the time reading your posts. I guess I’m ready to come out of hiding.

First, thank you to Sheri for her book, which has been a great help to me, and thank you for this community.

My husband and I have two sons, both of whom are married and gave us beautiful grandchildren. We have always been very loving not only to our sons but also our daughters-in-law–and of course, our grandbabies! It’s very ironic because I was closer to our DIL who lives closer to us. I thought she looked at us as her second set of parents and friends. I could not have been more wrong. She is married to our younger son, with whom, just like his older brother, we have always had a close relationship.

Over the past few years, our DIL here has become very confrontational. She picks fights over minor things, to the point of exaggeration, and these aren’t just little arguments. They are carried to an extreme, complete with long periods of the silent treatment, not letting us see the grandchildren, treating us like strangers–you get the picture. This has happened quite a few times, but the last time began in May. Basically, if she doesn’t get her way, we, her in-laws, are evil, unloving people. She treated us with outright cruelty, and all because she didn’t get her way. And our son backs her up 100%. In the past, she has “reconciled” with us, but it was always because she needed something from us. We eventually saw the pattern with her. She pretty much controls our ES. Also, she knows that I suffer from anxiety and high blood pressure, but when I told her the argument was making me physically ill, she told me “you can’t blame that on us.” There is NO compassion in her. NONE.

We have just started to talk again (with our son; she keeps her distance) and spend time with them, though she finds whatever chance to make snide remarks that we have so far just ignored. Our son also said many hurtful things during that argument, including what bad parents we are, that this time have left our relationship damaged. He doesn’t want to talk about what happened, just pretend it all didn’t happen…but it did. And this time feels different than times in the past, like something inside me has broken. I try to be the same as always, but I walk on eggshells. I am depressed and sometimes have moments of both anger and a debilitating sadness. I shut down emotionally at odd times, like yesterday, during a meeting at work.

Our older son could not be kinder to us. He tried at first to play peacemaker and was also almost burnt, and we told him to stay out of it for his own sake. Yet he has been comforting and hopeful that all is fine. His wife, too, though I wasn’t as close to her, has been gentle and caring and kind to both of us, but especially me. Younger son told him he needs time to get over whatever he supposedly did to him, and that then “all would be fine.” I don’t know if I will be fine when he decides we are no longer “personas non grata.” It’ll be fine until the next time his wife decides to fight with us (and maybe I’m unreasonable, but I really believe she is hellbent in forcing us out of our son’s life and the lives of our grandchildren, which I find devastating because we did nothing to deserve that). He will always, always back her up.

So even if things are “better”, I am not. I don’t know if I will ever be the same again. I know our son has allowed our relationship, with his father and me, to become damaged, and other than give it to God, I don’t know what to do. We love him dearly, but we would never have done this to our own parents. My father was an absentee dad who divorced my mom and often neglected me, and yet I adored him until the day he died.

Thank you so much for listening! Even writing about this has been hard for me. I hope to be able to rise above this someday and comfort others who have been through this terrible situation. It really is devastating and like a death, as someone here said.

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

i wonder what this piece of poo poo actually said or did to her daughter to get the ol' heave-ho

holy poo poo posted:

I’d like to address this question to all of the rejected parents

I have no guilt overall for my job as a mother. This is not to be arrogant, but if the best I could do is not good enough for my children, then what THEY have done is wasted my efforts and made a decision of their own choice to be come UNGRATEFUL BRATS. My ED even went so far as to ask me if I felt guilty. It was almost as if she was saying… I’m being a total knob head, I’m fully aware of my behavior,and my goal in life is to prove to you all your efforts were a waste of time, and make you wish that you’d never had me. How am I doing?

Guilt is not my forte, however what does well up in me is overwhelming anger that a group of losers can get away with what they are doing with seemingly little/no consequences.

In our society, if a child is neglected, yelled at, spanked, or looked cross-eyed at—all HELL breaks loose. Yet it is permissable to abuse those who are trying to enjoy the time they have left on earth with a modicum of peace. It’s like ho-hum, so what? We are one of the few countries where the elderly are not valued for wisdom and contributions. The media is now flooding the next generation with “mercy killing” propaganda. I don’t think it will come to be in my generation, but I watched a movie a while back where it cheered the great kindness of some adult children who put their sick mom out of her misery. It was portrayed as an act of kindness to put gramma down like an animal, as in when the elderly become useless and have nothing more to contribute.
Personally, as emotions go, I’m outraged.

Try saying anything even by accident about an ethnic group today and you will be railroaded.
Try having an opinion on anything that is not absolutely liberal and you are marked as a terrible person.
Try asking why some groups of people do not have to obey the same laws as everyone else and the majority of liberal America will try to bury you.

Every little group has civil rights laws on the books, which are fiercely upheld except —guess who? Now there are supposed to be laws of elder abuse protecting us. One of the words in the law is “neglect”. Is total abandonment of one’s parents not considered neglect? Where is all the outrage on our behalf??? Does society expect the elderly in wheelchairs to ban together, leave their nursing homes, and travel thousands of miles to protest at the capital? Of course not, and that is o.k… with a huge majority of America, none of which are in our shoes.

God bless Sherri and what she is doing here…finally, someone who gets it, and is doing everything in her power to make society AWARE of what is going on, and giving tools for us to cope. May I say, with all due respect that someone has to go to the next level and TAKE ACTION. Sherri is doing her job and doing it well, but she cannot be expected to do it all.

I see that there are people on here who have moved on enough to at least be able to compartmentalise enough to hold some very demanding jobs. Some are in a position to network and get Sherri some TV interviews, which will reach a much larger audience. Some probably know newspaper people, who, if they can be convinced of the atrocities going on here, could publish articles to reach a huge audience, even online these days. Some can write persuasive letters to congressman. Some people are movers and shakers.

How much worse does it have to get when a web-site has to have a link to suicide prevention? Unless a few good people band together and say I’M MAD AS H*** AND I’M NOT TAKING IT ANY MORE !!!, We can lament for years about how horrific estrangement is, (again, this is not a slam to this web-site) and at the end of those years, nothing will have changed unless some action is taken to uphold the elder abuse laws. You might ask, why don’t YOU do something Huh? Because I’m simply too mentally and physicaly burned out. In my younger more healthy times I would have and did take on a lot of leadership. I can still sign on-line petitions though.

Think about it:
ONE MOTHER put laws on the books, so definite, that getting behind the wheel drunk could lead to homicide.

ONE MOTHER put a nationwide alert system into play for abducted children.

Fifty years ago a blk. person had to ride in the back of a bus, couldn’t sit next to a white person in a restaurant, or vote like the rest of America; they even had separate drinking fountains, as if they were dirty because of the color of their skin. Those laws were much harder to get on the books; some gave their lives so that could happen, but it happened because someone said ENOUGH really is ENOUGH, and it’s going to stop.
Yes dear cyber friends, you are out there, I know you are. I was reading today about how this situation is making grown men cry (dads of EC). Is my reaction guilt? Absolutely not. I’m angry as h*** because these out of control, self-centered, ungrateful people ARE GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
HOW DARE PERFECTLY NICE PEOPLE GET TREATED LIKE GARBAGE.
WE HAVE ELDER ABUSE LAWS, why can we not take these abusers into court and according to the severity, and whether it is a first offense, etc., give a fine or jail time.
How about an order from a judge for community service to visit and/or help their parents, and if there is verbal, or physical abuse, or any action that makes the parents feel less than human (as decided by the parents), then they can be taken before a judge and put on probation, and if they break ANY rules of the probation, they go right to jail time. How would these narcissists like to try on a little jail time for size, since they can’t see any other way to curb their behavior.

If the definition of a sociopathic serial killer is someone with no empathy and no capacity to show remorse, then these young people are nothing less than emotional MURDERERS.
Isn’t it about time they get called what they are? Is it any less murder because they are destroying their own parents quality of life?

Now I know some here have carved out a life with-out the children you bore. That’s working for you and I’m glad. The rest of us are also going to carve out a life because that’s the only choice we have. I call that SURVIVAL— not victory. There is no choice to take. What does this actually do to stop these abusive people? They will go on to increase their army by producing offspring they have PURPOSELY taught to
dispose of parents like a piece of garbage. When is ENOUGH really ENOUGH? These people feel no need to have any valid reason for their actions, if they feel like being mean they just say or do something mean, and why are they choosing to do this? Because they can get away with it. It’s a good thing they were not born during old testament times, because rebellious people who continually defied moral behavior were thrown into a pit and stoned to death (and just for the record, I’m not advocating this for a solution). I am just bringing that up to prove a point that their behavior was not thought of as cute then, nor does it smell any better in the present time. As a matter of fact they were considered such a detriment to society that they were considered better off gone.
Emotional murderers should be offered the opportunity to get professional help, and if they refuse to modify their behavior, they need to be kept away from society. Period. Life has enough challenges without offspring turning on birth parents like rabid dogs. Bad behavior is a choice, not a side effect of mental illness. A very small segment of society are so mentally deficient that they cannot choose between right and wrong. May God keep them in his graces. I don’t believe at all that this is what we are dealing with here. My thoughts are that these people are dangerous, and if they are not deterred, they are going to escalate.

So I’d like to ask once again…Is ENOUGH really ENOUGH?, or do we want to be crying in our soup in 10 years, over the same lame abusive people, surviving the best we can under
horrific abuse of people who could care less about the pain they are causing.

So many capable and intelligent people out there. Who’s up for the challenge to take action (within the law of course)?
What better use could there possibly be for a retirement hobby, than to help hurting people by demanding that the law be upheld?
Who wants to stand up and be counted? I for one will help to be supportive in any way I’m capable.

Food for thought from Huh?

NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

Check it out, dude got so white he turned Amish.

Beachcomber posted:

I was imagining a pinch or something, but they're still an rear end in a top hat for making an illegal turn.

Chairman Mao posted:

Of all the awful things in this thread it's the minor traffic violation that really gets to you?

Beachcomber posted:

I mean lots of things are as bad or worse. I don't have a limited number of "rear end in a top hat" stickers to pass out.

That said, traffic violations really do piss me off because driving could be so much safer than it is. Is it really that much effort to signal? If everyone left enough space, traffic jams would decrease dramatically.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for flying an England flag above an American flag?

okay, so I am from England, and I'm 34 Male, and I just Moved to Texas from New York (where I'd lived for 4 years) and now I have more space and a yard, I decided to buy a flagpole and fly the St Georges Cross (the flag of England) and because my Wife is American we flew the american flag Underneath it, and we also have a Union Flag that is in the window of the spare bedroom, I like flags and I like having a connection with home. My wife has no problem with the situation.

​However my new neighbour across the street does infact have an issue, He visited me recently and told me on no uncertain terms that I have to either "Take down the red cross flag, or put the american flag on top, you're in the USA now buddy" I told him that I absolutely wouldn't be doing that, that this is private property and I can fly whatever the hell I want" and then he just went on a rant about flag code and other such nonsense, He honestly stood at my door for 10 minutes while I tried to calm him down but eventually after he called me a "Pathetic little Limey traitor" I lost my temper and yelled "get the gently caress off my property, if any flag comes down It'll be the american flag, lowered right into a loving bonfire, now piss off" and then I slammed the door

​since then I've gotten nothing but glares from him and his family and also my other neighbours who live next door to him, I've asked my neighbours to the left and right of me if they have an issue and they said they didnt care, and one of my neighbours even invited me and my wife round for a bbq and a few beers to celebrate us moving in.

​so AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for flying an England flag above an American flag?

okay, so I am from England, and I'm 34 Male, and I just Moved to Texas from New York (where I'd lived for 4 years) and now I have more space and a yard, I decided to buy a flagpole and fly the St Georges Cross (the flag of England) and because my Wife is American we flew the american flag Underneath it, and we also have a Union Flag that is in the window of the spare bedroom, I like flags and I like having a connection with home. My wife has no problem with the situation.

​However my new neighbour across the street does infact have an issue, He visited me recently and told me on no uncertain terms that I have to either "Take down the red cross flag, or put the american flag on top, you're in the USA now buddy" I told him that I absolutely wouldn't be doing that, that this is private property and I can fly whatever the hell I want" and then he just went on a rant about flag code and other such nonsense, He honestly stood at my door for 10 minutes while I tried to calm him down but eventually after he called me a "Pathetic little Limey traitor" I lost my temper and yelled "get the gently caress off my property, if any flag comes down It'll be the american flag, lowered right into a loving bonfire, now piss off" and then I slammed the door

​since then I've gotten nothing but glares from him and his family and also my other neighbours who live next door to him, I've asked my neighbours to the left and right of me if they have an issue and they said they didnt care, and one of my neighbours even invited me and my wife round for a bbq and a few beers to celebrate us moving in.

​so AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for flying an England flag above an American flag?
I lost my temper and yelled "get the gently caress off my property, if any flag comes down It'll be the american flag, lowered right into a loving bonfire, now piss off" and then I slammed the door

MasBrillante posted:

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

i wonder what this piece of poo poo actually said or did to her daughter to get the ol' heave-ho

Power Khan posted:

My [29M] fiancee [28F] of 4 years randomly claimed I abused her, and called the police. This came completely out of the blue.

Power Khan posted:

My [29M] fiancee [28F] of 4 years randomly claimed I abused her, and called the police. This came completely out of the blue.

eingereicht vor 2 Tagen von randomabusethrow

I honestly don't know what happened. A couple of days ago, my girlfriend who I lived with left our apartment while I was at work, claimed to her family and mutual friends that I'd been physically abusing her, and blocked me on everything. I have no idea what's going on. There weren't any major problems in our relationship that I could see, and we just had consensual sex last night. The very last time I spoke to her before all of this happened, she was perfectly fine, kissed me goodbye before I went to work, and everything was normal.

Then I got a call from my dad toward the end of the day asking me calmly if I've been hitting my girlfriend. I didn't know what he was talking about, and then she told me.

I rushed home, and she had gotten all of her stuff and is staying either with her family, or a friend of hers. My Facebook account is blowing up, and I have no idea what to do.

None of what is being said is true, and I don't know if someone is just playing a cruel joke on me. A few people even mentioned that the police were called, but I haven't heard anything as of yet.

The last major argument we had was probably in February around Valentine's Day. We were going through some financial trouble, the stress got to us, and we were both getting upset with each other over petty, household things. She was my best friend, the person I could rely on to be there for me, and the person I would be there for always, no matter what. We were definitely planning on getting married. It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when. Her family had basically accepted me into the family. I was close with both her mom and her dad. I only called them both once each -- neither of them answered my calls. I called my, I don't know, ex? just twice. No answer. She blocked me on every social media platform of hers that I know of. I asked a couple of friends, but they are being distant with me -- just one word answers, or ghosting me.

What the gently caress is happening here? We'd always been up front and honest with each other, and our communication was stellar.

tl;dr: I guess my girlfriend decided she wasn't happy in the relationship or something, and instead of breaking up with me, she left behind my back completely out of the blue, and claimed to everyone that I've been physically abusing her. I have no idea what's going on.


[UPDATE] My [29M] fiancee [28F] of 4 years randomly claimed I abused her, and called the police. This came completely out of the blue.
Edit: Previous post here

Okay so this is going to be a weird rear end update. I'm sorry if you guys thought this was going to be anything interesting.

A friend came forward and told me that apparently my dumb rear end fiancee decided to play a prank on me. She had the bright idea of leaving the house for a couple of days to set up a surprise birthday party for me set for this weekend. I don't know what the gently caress she was thinking, nor do I even really know the full story yet. She is not really the prank playing type and I guess thought this would be hilarious or something.

It looks like a majority of those "friends" who were acting distant were in on it. After I started being up front and honest with showing people my texts with her as this sub suggested, one of them told her that this wasn't cool, and that if she didn't come clean, than he would. Well, she didn't come clean, and he came forward. I guess that's why nobody was answering their texts?

Anyway, I texted her and I told her that I knew, asked her what the gently caress she was thinking. She started blowing my phone up apologizing. She said her prank just went too far and spiraled out of control when it got to social media, and that she didn't know how to come clean when she realized that it crossed a line. She also said that she didn't mean to let it come out that I was abusing her, and that she just wanted to make it seem like she left me, and that the abuse stuff was a rumor started by some other people who weren't in on her joke.

I just didn't really respond to her. I left and went to my parents' house before she got back home. My family now thinks she's a loving moron, so her relationship with them is ruined right before our marriage, so that's great. Our mutual friends are now split in half with half of them thinking she's an idiot, and the other half feeling god knows what about the situation. I'm frankly embarrassed, and feel stupid for wasting everyone's time and dragging them into my relationship with my fiancee.

I don't really know where to go from here. I don't know if I should call of the wedding, or postpone it and try to work out what the hell went through her mind.

I'm sorry if this isn't the ending to the story you were all hoping for. I'm having drinks and will be here all night feeling sorry for myself and answering comments for as long as I'm awake with this Jameson.

tl;dr: This was actually just a stupid prank by my fiancee.

therobit posted:

This might be the dumbest prank ever posted.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting a coworker fired?

So I work at subway. Not the rage though, I love my job.

So we had a new chick working today with us. Only been on the job for about 3 days. Mind you I’ve only been there a month, but I am already a manager. I work double shifts almost every single day, open to close. But I had to call out of my closing shift last night because my mom got a huge purple spot in her foot and it just started swelling. She didn’t hit it or anything. But she couldn’t feel her toes anymore and it hurt extremely bad. So I called out last night and rushed her to the ER. She thinks formed a blood clot and they put her on pain meds and ran a lot of tests to find out.

Well we didn’t get home from the ER until roughly 4 am and I still had to work today. I figured that since I called out last night, I’d be an rear end to call out for the opening shift. So I went but I was dead tired. During my shift my mom called and told me that her doctors want her back tomorrow morning for an ultrasound of her legs, a biopsy to test for cancer, and other tests. She might have to stay overnight if she needs surgery to remove a clot.

So needless to say I am exhausted, I’m worried, and I am lagging behind in work. Not too bad, we didn’t have a huge lunch rush but enough that there was a line forming.

Well the new girl (forgetting I am technically her boss) yells at me to hurry it up. I’m lagging and lazy and making her fall behind in her work. So I tell her “hey, I’m sorry. My mom was in the hospital, she might have something life threatening, and I was here at 8 am to open the store. The line literally has 5 people in it. You can go back to prep when we are done.”

She didn’t like that. She looked at me dead in the eyes and told me “suck it up. She’s just your mom. Not like it’s a child. She will either live or she will die. Get over it.”

I was absolutely taken back. Why the hell would you say that?? So I text the owner and tell her I want to write the new girl up for insubordination and being a dick. I explained the situation to my boss about what happened and she said she was on her way.

New girl got fired, screamed I was a huge rear end hole and had a bunch of her friends come in and harass me about it. Now she’s banned from all the subways my boss owns.

AITA?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting a coworker fired?

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Where does fake calling the police to fake an assault charge fit into a prank what all of the fucks

Zore posted:

I think the one where the woman's friends kidnapped her at gunpoint and then revealed themselves when they got to brunch was probably dumber, but this is definitely up there.

Or when the dude got lovely on the camping trip, left and then showed back up in disguise threatening everyone with a gun and almost got killed.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting a coworker fired?

So I work at subway. Not the rage though, I love my job.

So we had a new chick working today with us. Only been on the job for about 3 days. Mind you I’ve only been there a month, but I am already a manager. I work double shifts almost every single day, open to close. But I had to call out of my closing shift last night because my mom got a huge purple spot in her foot and it just started swelling. She didn’t hit it or anything. But she couldn’t feel her toes anymore and it hurt extremely bad. So I called out last night and rushed her to the ER. She thinks formed a blood clot and they put her on pain meds and ran a lot of tests to find out.

Well we didn’t get home from the ER until roughly 4 am and I still had to work today. I figured that since I called out last night, I’d be an rear end to call out for the opening shift. So I went but I was dead tired. During my shift my mom called and told me that her doctors want her back tomorrow morning for an ultrasound of her legs, a biopsy to test for cancer, and other tests. She might have to stay overnight if she needs surgery to remove a clot.

So needless to say I am exhausted, I’m worried, and I am lagging behind in work. Not too bad, we didn’t have a huge lunch rush but enough that there was a line forming.

Well the new girl (forgetting I am technically her boss) yells at me to hurry it up. I’m lagging and lazy and making her fall behind in her work. So I tell her “hey, I’m sorry. My mom was in the hospital, she might have something life threatening, and I was here at 8 am to open the store. The line literally has 5 people in it. You can go back to prep when we are done.”

She didn’t like that. She looked at me dead in the eyes and told me “suck it up. She’s just your mom. Not like it’s a child. She will either live or she will die. Get over it.”

I was absolutely taken back. Why the hell would you say that?? So I text the owner and tell her I want to write the new girl up for insubordination and being a dick. I explained the situation to my boss about what happened and she said she was on her way.

New girl got fired, screamed I was a huge rear end hole and had a bunch of her friends come in and harass me about it. Now she’s banned from all the subways my boss owns.

AITA?

therobit posted:

This might be the dumbest prank ever posted.

Power Khan posted:

Let's not forget about these classics

quote:

My girlfriend [23/F] is threatening to break up with me over a prank that I [24/M] pulled on her and her family.

This past weekend was the big camping trip that my girlfriend would be taking with her and her family. It would consist of her, her parents, her younger sister, her aunt and uncle, and her three cousins and it was a big family trip that was being planned for cooler weather. My girlfriend told me all about where they would be camping and I decided to take advantage of that knowledge.

I visited my girlfriend's house to say goodbye to her and wish her a fun trip and when they all took off in their cars, I got in my car and drove to the campsite that they would be staying at. I know the area pretty well and I was able to find a spot to hide my car from view and I was able to navigate the woods and keep an eye on them while remaining hidden from view. When it came to nighttime, I put on a Chewbacca costume and ruffled it up a little to make it like wild and untamed. While the family was gathered around the campfire, I started to rustle the bushes. The family noticed, but they didn't think much of it. Then I started to make growling noises. The family was getting noticeably freaked out and then my girlfriend's uncle started to walk towards where I was hiding.

As soon as he got close enough, I jumped out from behind the bushes and started making roaring noises while running around acting like a Bigfoot. I shook their tents, threw lawn chairs around, and chased after some of the cousins. I heard my girlfriend's dad yell "GET THE GUN!" and that's when I knew I had to end the prank. I took off the costume, revealed myself, and the entire family was pissed. Long story short, I got yelled at my almost all of her family, and the noise attracted the campsite manager, who kicked me out after hearing what happened.

Today I heard back from my girlfriend for the first time since the prank and she said that she's seriously considering breaking up with me. She just said that she needs some time to think and that she'll let me know when she's made her decision. Now I'm just left wondering what I do. I'm thinking that I need to pull off a major apology and I need some advice on what to say to save this relationship.