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CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

Pinecone Sample posted:

This would have happened on a prestige TV version of Happy Days

Jukebox Hits on AMC

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Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

Xaris posted:

lmao. from the title I actually really expected it to go someone who keeps referring to the other by their dead name against their wishes. not as bad, but this is somehow even loving stupider because theres like no reason to do that than pure assholia

I think this might be one of those ridiculous 'power moves'.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


What's a "dad boss"?

MasBrillante
Dec 3, 2005

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Beachcomber posted:

I think this might be one of those ridiculous 'power moves'.

Maybe they are negging him in hopes of getting a date.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
https://twitter.com/legaladvice_txt/status/1148569388171374594

goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014



Lmao

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
lol

like what does he expect the legal system to do there?

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

lol

like what does he expect the legal system to do there?

Your honor, I plead 'big woopsie'?

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

sexpig by night posted:

Your honor, I plead 'big woopsie'?

Guilty, sentenced to no do-overs, and a month of no take-backsies. Case dismissed.

Chairman Mao
Apr 24, 2004

The Chinese Communist Party is the core of leadership of the whole Chinese people. Without this core, the cause of socialism cannot be victorious.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to in invite my parents to holidays?

My 17 year old daughter is a lesbian. Me and my wife fully accept her decision and are supportive.

...

They believe what she is doing is a sin. They believe she will go to hell if she doesn’t change. They are tying to save her in their minds. Their concerns stem from love, not hate.



I wished I raised a daughter who understands not everyone in this world will agree with you.

Yeah it's pretty clear what's going on here. Good on her for getting the gently caress out.

ilovebeersooomuch
May 23, 2014




:hmbol:

hevnz 2 murgatroyd
Apr 13, 2018

by Smythe
Both of them call the car and see who it comes to.

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

goethe.cx posted:

Listen fuckbrains, if either of the brothers has a chode it’s Mario. Luigi’s penis is long and thin.

e: uhhh wrong thread

Since Nintendo confirmed Waluigi is uncircumcised, does that mean Luigi's snipped?

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan
Cross posting from the terrible tattoos thread. Does anybody have that story where the boyfriend thought his girlfriend was loving her dad? It was referenced in the tattoo thread but no one could find it.


hyperhazard posted:

Someone sent this to me, and now you have to suffer too.

https://twitter.com/4Music/status/1092467826869194754

Tetramin
Apr 1, 2006

I'ma buck you up.

areyoucontagious posted:

Cross posting from the terrible tattoos thread. Does anybody have that story where the boyfriend thought his girlfriend was loving her dad? It was referenced in the tattoo thread but no one could find it.

There have been a lot of boyfriend loving [ex]girlfriend dad stories here. You need to be more specific

E: oh you meant something totally different lol

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Yikes. Groomed for incest and DD/lg by your own dad.

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018


This is a triple badwithmoney, guillotine.txt and r/relationship bingo

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

He should take it to court, and the judge should offer to cut the car in half with a thermal lance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI5whCBV0bk

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
AITA for fighting two old ladies at walmart for a desk chair?

quote:

I spotted the spinning office chair for 25 bucks, and it was about 45 dollars off. I was like, 'o poo poo got to buy it.' Before I put it in my cart I was looking my phone for what those types of chairs normally cost, and I was standing right next to it, so I found out they're normally 60 bucks and up.

Then two old ladies come up and sit in the chair talking about how great it was, and I was pissed. I'm just thinking 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?' So I just wait around pretending to browse hoping they'll leave because if I told them I was planning on buying it they probably would have scooped it up immediately.

So when they finally get up and look around still talking about the chair, I scoop that bitch up, put it in my cart, and then run like a mad man. Lol. Then they start yelling trying to go after me, but I zig zag through aizle trying to lose them.

Obviously the titles a exaggeration/lie lmao but am I an rear end in a top hat for doing this? I feel a little bad, but I think it was worth it.

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
AITA for wanting to post my body online after my boyfriend called it gross?

quote:

Okay, this is a very very long story but I’ll try to condense it.

This all started with my boyfriend of six years lying to me about going to bed. We are long distance at the moment due to school/family issues.

So while talking on the phone a few nights ago he tells me he has to go to bed, he’s got work in the morning. I have no reason to believe he’s lying so I say goodnight and that’s that. About half an hour later I see him on Twitter. This causes an argument and I tell him he needs to stop lying and just be honest (IE if he wanted to stop talking to me he didn’t need to lie about going to bed to do so. Because now I just feel like an idiot for believing him and I’m pissed he lied.)

Fast forward three days later to, well, an hour ago. We start butting heads again because I made a remark about his dishonesty a few nights ago. Words are exchanged and he retorts with (his exact words)

”You want honesty? I'll be loving honest, your thighs are kinda gross, you got this fat in your upper thighs that you should have worked on or surgery on it.”

This hurt me pretty bad not gonna lie. I’m a big girl, I’m insecure about it, but he’s always reassured me he likes my body and if I want to lose weight it should be for health reasons and not because I look bad. This completely caught me off guard and was pretty devastated.

So I dug around a bit online and found a website where hundreds of thousands of people post pictures of themselves. A fetish site, but there’s a lot of vanilla stuff in there as well. I’m not looking to cheat or start a relationship, but I’ve considered posting my body in hopes of, I dunno, validation I guess.

Obviously I wouldn’t do this is we are still together, but I’m considering breaking it off because I’m so hurt. He’s insisting this is cheating and I’m being too sensitive when I asked for “honesty”.

Reddit, AITA for wanting to post photos online after being insulted?

The real life isn't porn double-tap

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for fighting two old ladies at walmart for a desk chair?

that probably wasn't even in the top ten trashiest incidents that happened in that walmart that day. you're fine

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for fighting two old ladies at walmart for a desk chair?

Walmart is one step above Thunderdome, don't feel bad.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for fighting two old ladies at walmart for a desk chair?

OP is an rear end in a top hat for writing that misleading as hell title for such an anemic nothing story

Xik
Mar 10, 2011

Dinosaur Gum

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for wanting to post my body online after my boyfriend called it gross?

Dump him and find someone that will appreciate your thighs.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Told that my eight hour shift is now thirty six hours and I’ll be fired if I fall asleep. [Washington]

quote:

Like the title says. I work at a 24-hour post as a security guard and we are majorly understaffed.

I showed up at 2PM expecting to work 2-10 and another 2-10 tomorrow.

My boss tells me there was a call-off and could I please show up at 10am tomorrow to work 10-10. I agreed.

My boss went home and called me two hours into my shift to tell me my relief would not be showing and that he couldn’t find a replacement.

I told him I could either work overnight or pull a 12 tomorrow, but I cannot work 32 hours straight and safely drive home.

I also have a medical condition I need to take medication for and a missed dose will give me debilitating withdrawal symptoms.

My boss informed me that he was going to bed and would be turning off his phone.

It’s 11:30PM and I’ve tried contacting everyone up the chain. Nobody has so much as an estimate as to when I can go home- they’re all asleep or punting the problem to someone else (who is asleep).

If I leave, I’ll be fired. If I fall asleep, I’ll be fired.

What’s my best move?

(Edited for spacing)

Edit: it turns out what my bosses are doing isn’t illegal but I seriously doubt they’ll fire me when it means they’ll be down three workers instead of two.

I’ve informed the only person I can reach (my direct supervisor) that I’ll be leaving at a set time, whether they’ve found a replacement or not.

Second edit: I got my supervisors spoken permission to go home and take my meds/eat, and unspoken permission to curl up on the dirty floor someplace off camera to sleep.

Job hunt starts tomorrow.

Thank you everyone for your help.

FINAL EDIT: I’m home and I’ve slept, had a good meal and taken my meds. My next shift isn’t for a couple days.

I’m completely overwhelmed. Thank you everyone so much for your support.

I’m going to be speaking with my family’s lawyer about what we can do.

The medication I’m taking is not methadone or suboxone, but best wishes to everyone who DMed me looking for solidarity in fighting that battle. I have close family members struggling with addiction as well and it’s one of the hardest things anyone can do.

Please please please stop DMing me to ask who I work for and where I’m working- I understand the concern but I don’t want to dox myself more than I already have.

"Oh hey John sorry about this but as you know we're short-staffed right now, so we've had to extend your shift from 8 hours to... *clicks pen while reviewing notes* forever, you have to stay at your desk and not fall asleep for the rest of your life or you'll be fired. Thanks bud I'm going to head home and go to sleep now"

Also :wtc: at getting approval to curl up on the floor and go to sleep during your 36-hour shift but only if it's not visible by one of the cameras

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Xik posted:

Dump him and find someone that will appreciate your thighs.

She knows, dude, that's what the forum is for

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
it's letting him know what they expected him to do anyway!

"your shift is starting, it's 36 hours but my phone will be off and therefore i can't contact you to check. winky winky"

it's for insurance purposes you have to have someone "there"

Grape
Nov 16, 2017

Happily shilling for China!

Pick posted:

it's letting him know what they expected him to do anyway!

"your shift is starting, it's 36 hours but my phone will be off and therefore i can't contact you to check. winky winky"

it's for insurance purposes you have to have someone "there"

I don't think that's the whole problem.

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
AITA for telling a concerned women off?

quote:

I’m 31 and my girlfriend is 18. We were on a picnic and were making out. A women came up to us and grabbed her hand and asked her if she was okay. My girlfriend said she was fine and that I was her boyfriend. The women said I should be ashamed of myself. I asked why? She said I was taking advantage of this young girl. I said mind your own business, you have no idea no idea how our relationship is. She said she should call the cops and called me a perv. I got mad and said, shut the gently caress up bitch, you don’t even know me. My girlfriend voiced her concerns about how I talked to this woman. She said we could have just left and I was an rear end in a top hat for telling her off. AITA?

Grape
Nov 16, 2017

Happily shilling for China!

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for telling a concerned women off?

This guy needs to be made to go out with the lady from earlier who walked off from a date after the 22 year old boy made a cougar joke.

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for telling a concerned women off?

YTP (You're The Pedophile)

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

Hey does anyone remember this story?

WIBTA for graverobbing our family pet?

quote:

Our dog passed three days ago. She predated my daughter and even my wife, so it was especially hard on me. We had a little burial in our backyard where my daughter (8) said a few words. We put her favorite blanket, and toy in the coffin I made and I buried her.

But, unbeknownst to me, my daughter snuck in another toy. I had a stuffed penguin I've had for nearly 15 years, it was something I bought for my previous dog before she passed, and this new dog played with it a lot, too. I wanted to keep this toy forever because it represented two dogs I've owned, not just the one. I kept it on my home office desk and had no intention of ever getting rid of it.

I guess my daughter thought it should be with her too, so she took it, put it in the coffin, and I buried it. I only found out today after asking her where the penguin went. Obviously I'm not going to get mad at her for this, but this cut deep. No fault of her own, she didn't know, but I'm left with a hard decision.

I think tonight when everyone's asleep, I'm going to dig up the coffin, pry it open, get the penguin back, and then rebury the coffin. I made mention of this to my wife, as a joke to gauge her reaction, and she said it was a dark joke and no sane person would do that. I might have to do it and never tell her or anyone else.

Would I be the rear end in a top hat for graverobbing our family pet to retrieve this stuffed penguin?

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION:

UPDATE: WIBTA for graverobbing our family pet

quote:

I wanted to make an update on my AITA post.

I couldn't keep it a secret for very long and told my wife. She was livid but it blew over the next day. She said she doesn't want it in the house or anything else for that matter. She said she wanted it in the ground with our dog but didn't want me to go through that again, so we keep it in my safe for the time being. It's never to be brought out, especially shown to our daughter who is not going to be made aware.

I decided to seek some professional help as per the suggestion of one poster and I've been told I have (diagnosed?) depression. They asked me 20 some odd questions and the only ones I didn't answer "yes" to was things like harm. My doctor advised me to hold off getting another pet until I can fully grieve.

It's hard because my last dog was bought by my parents and lived with the family until I moved out and brought it with me. This one that just passed I did all the work. I drove to get her, I paid for her, I did everything. There's recurring feelings of guilt that I didn't do as good as I could have and I nitpick on things I've done wrong in the past regarding the dog. It's not healthy for me to have another one, at least for now. It's probably the hardest situation I've been in my whole life and it was playing with my head so much I did what did.

I'm considering a penguin tattoo as memorial likewise as someone suggested.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Cake-Puncher goes to r/legaladvice!

Do I have tenant rights if I'm living with my girlfriend's family?

quote:

I'm in a position where I'm currently living with my girlfriend and her family under their roof here in Newark, New Jersey. My dad kicked me out of his house and now I'm with my girlfriend's family. As of yesterday, me and her father reached an agreement where I could live in their pool house in the backyard and the conditions are that I have to keep helping him with physical labor and work that acts in place of rent and I'm not allowed in their house unless there's something work related going on.

My questions is whether I have legitimate tenant rights. I'm still living on their property and her dad is more or less my landlord at this point and I remember reading about something like being given a 30 days notice if I'm asked to leave the premises. If her dad were to just kick me out and try to get me to leave one day, would I be able to use any actual tenant rights to my advantage?

Banished to the pool house!

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

QuarkJets posted:

YTP (You're The Pedophile)


quote:

She looks 16

quote:

I’m attracted to something that is perfectly legal. You telling me this is no different than a lesbian being a attracted to a woman and you saying that makes her a perv. I attracted to young beautiful women and I can’t change that.

He does say that she was 18 when they met. Heck of a guy!

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

LadyPictureShow posted:

Cake-Puncher goes to r/legaladvice!

Do I have tenant rights if I'm living with my girlfriend's family?


Banished to the pool house!

Having a pool house paints a better picture for me. And you know if it was a glorified shed, he'd be saying "her dad makes me live in the shed"

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

LadyPictureShow posted:

Cake-Puncher goes to r/legaladvice!

Do I have tenant rights if I'm living with my girlfriend's family?


Banished to the pool house!

Update: I decided to ingest some pool chemicals to see what would happen, but I just kind of felt sick. My girlfriend's dad asked me to help skim some leaves out of the pool but I was pretty pissed off already so I took a swing at him. I don't think he noticed though, cause he turned around as I was swinging and I kind of bumped into his shoulder fell into the pool and hit my head. Needless to say I nearly drowned and now I'm back in the hospital

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for fighting two old ladies at walmart for a desk chair?
i thought this was a fightman update and for a moment i was so loving excited

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

nankeen posted:

i thought this was a fightman update and for a moment i was so loving excited

I would bet on 2 old ladies by decision

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth

LadyPictureShow posted:

Cake-Puncher goes to r/legaladvice!

Do I have tenant rights if I'm living with my girlfriend's family?


Banished to the pool house!

he literally can't enter the house like a loving dog that got skunked and he hasn't figured out no one wants him around.

Like, wouldn't you, by the time you're living in the pool house, figure if your girlfriend isn't sticking up for you it's time to mosey?

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Dixie Cretin Seaman
Jan 22, 2008

all hat and one catte
Hot Rope Guy

Pinecone Sample posted:

I got mad and said, shut the gently caress up bitch, you don’t even know me. My girlfriend voiced her concerns about how I talked to this woman.

The girlfriend sounds way too mature for him :kiddo:

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