Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

vanisher posted:

I cant be the first person for that one

It's certainly possible. After all, "military intelligence" is a bit of an oxymoron.

# ? Jul 15, 2019 22:16

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# ? May 11, 2024 07:53

FactsAreUseless

Wearing underwear that says "Intel Inside" and then jamming a quad-core processor up into your heat sink.

# ? Jul 16, 2019 10:01

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

my neck, my back, my slot machine, and craps

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 16, 2019 14:09

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

oprah lamprey

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 16, 2019 17:07

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

A museum dedicated to showcasing artists interpretations of all the things "the hell (is) wrong with me"

# ? Jul 16, 2019 17:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Innocent but terrifying phrases:
Amateur electrician
Narcoleptic pilot

# ? Jul 16, 2019 22:17

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Innocent but terrifying phrases:
Amateur electrician
Narcoleptic pilot

coupons & deals

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jul 17, 2019 03:01

vanisher

Manifisto posted:

coupons & deals

Spoilers and nms tags next time please

# ? Jul 17, 2019 19:45

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

croutons and eels

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 17, 2019 19:46

vanisher

Mixed up my keychain size febreeze with my keychain size pepper spray and now my balls are on fire

# ? Jul 17, 2019 19:55

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Innocent but terrifying phrases:
Amateur electrician
Narcoleptic pilot

lemonade, mostly piss-less

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# ? Jul 18, 2019 01:42

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

green snow

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 01:43

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Unexpected finger.

# ? Jul 18, 2019 02:16

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Innocent but terrifying phrases:
Amateur electrician
Narcoleptic pilot

Inherited wealth

# ? Jul 18, 2019 03:29

xcheopis

Barking Gecko posted:

Inherited wealth

I would kill to inherit some wealth rightnow

# ? Jul 18, 2019 03:53

little munchkin

Pee 2.0

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 04:58

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

little munchkin posted:

Pee 2.0

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 05:08

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

wrong baby

# ? Jul 18, 2019 05:15

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

little munchkin posted:

Pee 2.0

patch notes: nerfed asparagus scent

# ? Jul 18, 2019 05:48

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

shark souls

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:21

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

proud boy

oh look he's just a lil guy who is proud of himself

he what? that's why he's proud? oh... oh.

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:30

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Cubone posted:

wrong baby

mailorder bees! posted:

shark souls

Now there's a story in the making

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:30

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

wrong souls

*DRUMROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL*

baby shark

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:34

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

mosquito hive

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:37

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

urine hell

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:49

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

cobweb poboy is an anagram of cowboy bebop

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:51

Harold Fjord

got any sevens posted:

urine hell

When going to pee I like to exclaim:
"I'm a nation!"

# ? Jul 18, 2019 16:52

Twenty Four

balls

# ? Jul 18, 2019 19:29

Robot Made of Meat

Twenty Four posted:

balls

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jul 19, 2019 01:04

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Innocent but terrifying phrases:
Amateur electrician
Narcoleptic pilot

Hobbyist coroner
Laundry sniffer

# ? Jul 19, 2019 04:27

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Bacon Taco posted:

Hobbyist coroner
Laundry sniffer

Hhahaha I love these

# ? Jul 19, 2019 15:09

Twenty Four

Robot Made of Meat posted:

two or more

# ? Jul 19, 2019 17:52

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

Bacon Taco posted:

Hobbyist coroner

Did you see that Last Week Tonight story? Hachi machi.

To contribute:

There's the line in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer about the reindeer playing reindeer games and people will shout "like Monopoly." First of all, the reindeer are so large that it'd be nearly impossible for them to play on a traditionally sized Monopoly board. I can't picture any way that they could comfortably play without the board being several magnitudes larger. Second, The song makes a point that the other reindeer will not let Rudolph play with them. Monopoly is a game for 2-6 players. There are 9 reindeer total including Rudolph. Rudolph is one of at least three reindeer that are getting getting left out. My guess is that some of the stupider reindeer like Dancer and Blitzen are also left out. Third, the reindeer lack thumbs which would make rolling the dice and move the pieces around the board incredibly difficult. Fourth, and this is just speculation from me personally, I don't think that the reindeer play using the common "house rule" where you put money under Free Parking that goes to whoever lands there and it frustrates me because I want to explain that it makes the game more enjoyable but I don't speak reindeer well enough to convey this information.

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Jul 19, 2019 18:28

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Jolo posted:

Did you see that Last Week Tonight story? Hachi machi.

To contribute:

There's the line in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer about the reindeer playing reindeer games and people will shout "like Monopoly." First of all, the reindeer are so large that it'd be nearly impossible for them to play on a traditionally sized Monopoly board. I can't picture any way that they could comfortably play without the board being several magnitudes larger. Second, The song makes a point that the other reindeer will not let Rudolph play with them. Monopoly is a game for 2-6 players. There are 9 reindeer total including Rudolph. Rudolph is one of at least three reindeer that are getting getting left out. My guess is that some of the stupider reindeer like Dancer and Blitzen are also left out. Third, the reindeer lack thumbs which would make rolling the dice and move the pieces around the board incredibly difficult. Fourth, and this is just speculation from me personally, I don't think that the reindeer play using the common "house rule" where you put money under Free Parking that goes to whoever lands there and it frustrates me because I want to explain that it makes the game more enjoyable but I don't speak reindeer well enough to convey this information.

So much good work in here lately

# ? Jul 19, 2019 19:01

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

So much good work in here lately

Thanks buddy. I typed that all out and then thought, this is dumb... I shouldn't post this. Then I realized, this is dumb... I MUST post this. :justpost:

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Jul 19, 2019 19:50

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

bloomin funyon

onion bloomers

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 19, 2019 20:26

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

:"what's the capital of thailand?"
:confused:

: "i don't know, what?"
:v:

*punches you in crotch* "me neither"

# ? Jul 19, 2019 21:54

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Jolo posted:

Did you see that Last Week Tonight story? Hachi machi.

To contribute:

There's the line in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer about the reindeer playing reindeer games and people will shout "like Monopoly." First of all, the reindeer are so large that it'd be nearly impossible for them to play on a traditionally sized Monopoly board. I can't picture any way that they could comfortably play without the board being several magnitudes larger. Second, The song makes a point that the other reindeer will not let Rudolph play with them. Monopoly is a game for 2-6 players. There are 9 reindeer total including Rudolph. Rudolph is one of at least three reindeer that are getting getting left out. My guess is that some of the stupider reindeer like Dancer and Blitzen are also left out. Third, the reindeer lack thumbs which would make rolling the dice and move the pieces around the board incredibly difficult. Fourth, and this is just speculation from me personally, I don't think that the reindeer play using the common "house rule" where you put money under Free Parking that goes to whoever lands there and it frustrates me because I want to explain that it makes the game more enjoyable but I don't speak reindeer well enough to convey this information.

my friend told me if you have more than one different edition of monopoly (for example, teenage mutant ninja turtles monopoly, big bang theory monopoly, and green bay packers monopoly) you can play a version of the game where landing on a train station lets you transfer to another board. that's how his family always played it (but don't play with my friend's family, they are ruthless)

as long as you don't use the free parking rule or give people extra money it doesn't really make it that much longer, and choosing when to transfer adds a new strategic element, and you can add more players, because the boards all have different pieces (for example, in big bang theory monopoly, you can be the couch), so all the reindeer could play
AND
if they also have a copy of trouble (for example, despicable me trouble), the reindeer could make use of the pop-o-matic bubble technology in lieu of monopoly's hand-requiring dice

finally, if we are worried about them having access to different editions of monopoly, let's remember, these are santa's reindeer- his whole thing is giving away free toys!

# ? Jul 19, 2019 22:44

Twenty Four

Jolo posted:

Thanks buddy. I typed that all out and then thought, this is dumb... I shouldn't post this. Then I realized, this is dumb... I MUST post this.

this is how to live

# ? Jul 20, 2019 00:30

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# ? May 11, 2024 07:53

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

canyoneer posted:

:"what's the capital of thailand?"
: "i don't know, what?"
*punches you in crotch* "me neither"

thanks Manifisto!

# ? Jul 20, 2019 00:55

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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