/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

At least he has standards?

quote:

I'm supervisor at my job and I was doing orientation for this guy on his first day. After barely introducing himself he felt the need to tell me that it really gets him going when his white girlfriend puts on black face paint and pretends to be a sassy black lady but there's no way in hell he would actually gently caress a black lady. Then he felt the urge to break the awkward silence with a nude picture of his girlfriend on her knees covered in cum.

I told him to get out and don't come back. He didn't know what he did wrong.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 06:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 02:04

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Vim Fuego posted:

At least he has standards?

Don�t kinkshame me

# ? Jul 30, 2019 07:17

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Long-term boyfriend doesn't like my recovery weight

quote:

Sorry if this is somewhat long and poorly written, tldr at the bottom!

So I, 27 (f) have been with the same guy more or less ever since I was 16, he's a year older. There was a one and a half year period where we weren't dating, but we've since reconnected and have now been back together for 2 years.

The issue at hand is that I've struggled with a very ugly mixture of bulimia and anorexia for many years, I can't even remember when it started. I've sort of 'always' been underweight, to the point where friends and family told me I looked sickly and were genuinely worried about my health. For safety reasons I won't name any numbers, but I was unhealthily underweight.

Anyway, over the past year I've really been taking therapy seriously and have been working on myself. Along with a much needed change in the way I think came a noticeable increase of my body weight. I'm not anywhere near overweight, but I do have hips and breasts and thighs now, and my stomach is no longer concave- and you know what, thanks to an incredibly awesome therapist and the support system of friends and family that I am lucky to have, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. The disordered voice that tells me I need to be thinner, thinner, thinner is still there, but due to the amount of love people have shown me and the hard work I've done with my therapist- along with a solid portion of luck- I am able to silence it most of the time.

The boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship (his choice, he wanted to study abroad so he did). I went to visit him in another country for 10 days recently, and was happy to see him as I had missed him badly. There were a few moments when he commented oddly on my body that felt weird ('I can see the bulge of your tummy' after a steak dinner, me wearing a thin t-shirt) that I chose to ignore, but one evening he just flat out told me that he prefers me thinner. I didnt know what to say. I felt like he had shoved a dagger straight into my heart (sorry if this is dramatic). I had never felt so ugly in my life, all of my acceptance of my new healthy body just left my head. He suggested I should lose weight, but told me I didn't have to do it by puking and/or restricting excessively. I felt so hurt, misunderstood and offended- we've had countless conversations about my eating disorder, he knows all the facts, he's had all the triggers explained to him, I've even told him if this makes him uncomfortable and he wants to leave, I completely understand- and he still says something like this.

Unfortunately, it's hosed my brain up good and proper. I've contacted my therapist to set up another appointment to 'minimize the damage', the next appointment is in 2 months. Meanwhile, the eating disordered portion of my brain is having a field day, like a kid left unsupervised in a candy store. Bulimia and restricting are just running rampant and I feel completely out of control. I've tried to explain this to the bf and ask him to not say anything about my weight in the future, but he just won't listen, he says he should be allowed to voice his preferences about my body.

English isn't my first language, sorry about any mistakes!

Tldr: I love this guy, but he is unsupportive of my recovery. Any advice on what I could do? Am I overreacting because I feel distraught at his reaction?

quote:

Edit: thank you guys so much for all the comments. It seems that I am not crazy/overreacting, which is an incredibly calming thought. As for ending things, I completely see where everyone is coming from, so I decided to make one last effort at explaining how eating disorders work and how his comments affect me, and if that doesn't hit home, I will prioritize my health over my bf and break up. Health is more important! Also, I appreciate every single comment, your feedback has really cleared up so much for me. All the best to all of you!

quote:

Edit 2: honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with the messages I've received. It will take me some time to respond to all of them, but please know that the amount of support I've received is so heartwarming, and tells me that I'm not crazy, I'm allowed to prioritize my health. Each and everyone of you: thank you. So incredibly much. Even though I haven't replied directly, I'm so thankful for the support. Keep being awesome, people of this sub!

Put the edits at the bottom, it was initially Edit 2 -> Edit -> Main post and that just bugs me!

Edit: Spoilered text, bf is an arse

Evil Willow fucked around with this message at 08:51 on Jul 30, 2019

# ? Jul 30, 2019 08:46

Telemaze: Apr 22, 2008; What you expected hasn't happened.; Fun Shoe

Pinecone Sample posted:

My GF wants a look at her best friends BF's penis??

If the Mormon friend and her bf don't do anything sexual, how the hell is she going to get a dick pic? I guess it will just be an innocent, friendly dick pic.

Also it's 2019, if she can get the picture she can google whether it's a normal length or GIS for comparisons. Asking your friend to look is just loving bizarre.

e: holy jesus the dude above with the gf with the eating disorder is a piece of shiiiiiit

# ? Jul 30, 2019 10:59

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Lucrece posted:

Long-term boyfriend doesn't like my recovery weight

Edit: Spoilered text, bf is an arse

bf is a pedo and doesnt want his gf to look like a woman but be as prepubesent as possible. hey i grew tits and an rear end -> ugh gtfo you fatty ugo.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:03

SpaceGoatFarts: Jan 5, 2010; sic transit gloria mundi; Nap Ghost

Pinecone Sample posted:

My GF wants a look at her best friends BF's penis??

I'm not even sure the guy is allowed to remove his mormon underwear for a dick pic. That sounds very much against the purpose of it

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:07

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

I�ve seen obese people with bulimia and i dont understand how that works

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:09

SpaceGoatFarts: Jan 5, 2010; sic transit gloria mundi; Nap Ghost

Collapsing Farts posted:

I�ve seen obese people with bulimia and i dont understand how that works

they probably just skip the purging part of bulimia

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:10

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

I thought that was kond of a big deal

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:13

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Collapsing Farts posted:

I�ve seen obese people with bulimia and i dont understand how that works

Oh don�t worry someone is gonna come busting in here like the kool aid man and explain it.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:16

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for telling my girlfriend ghosts aren't real?

quote:

Me (21 M) and my girlfriend A (21 F) are in a long distance relationship (together for six months) so a decent portion of our relationship is FaceTime. Last week though, I was visiting her, and she showed me a house that she mentioned her family moved out of because it was haunted. FYI, I don't think things lime that are possible.

This was weird to me because she constantly derides her adoptive father for being extremely religious. Her biological father, meanwhile, was a complete piece of poo poo, and would show up and beat A's mom senseless, forcing them to constantly be on the run, until he got killed when she was 7. A's issues with her father have caused PTSD and anxiety which she's struggled with her whole life.

I didn't ask too much about the whole haunted thing, until tonight while we were FaceTiming. She told me about how between the ages of 7 and 10, her father's ghost haunted her and her mom,that my girlfriend would see him and hear his voice, that he would open and close doors, and he threw their dog on her mom while she was sleeping.

After a long discussion where she also mentioned that she believes in witchcraft and magic (her mom had befriended a traditional Mexican...magic practicer during the time period mentioned above), I told her that I won't judge her for what she believes, but that to me, she experienced an extremely traumatic and confusing event when she was a you g child.

To better understand and cope what was happening, I said it sounded like she began experiencing these...hauntings, and that most of these experiences were first noticed or experienced by her mom, who would mention things like a certain sound coming from the closet for months until my girlfriend noticed them. My girlfriend also said that she once she let go of all the anger and fear about her biodad, the haunting stopped, which isn't usually how ghosts work.

After I said all this, my girlfriend said I sound like an rear end in a top hat, but she isn't mad at me and she wasn't upset. I told her I loved her, she said it back, and we talked for another hour or two before saying goodnight. But I still feel bad and I'm not sure if I'm overstepping my boundaries. AITA?

EDIT: She's been in therapy for years, which is part of why her insistence on the ghost confused me

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:29

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for not letting my kids' aunt and uncle watch them solely because their house is terrifying?

quote:

My husband and I have 2 kids (4 and 2). We're going away for a 4 day weekend soon. We were settled on hopefully one of the sets of grandparents or my sister. My husband's brother and his wife happily offered. They're very nice people and try so very, very hard to be a good aunt and uncle, but absolutely not.

Their house is terrifying. They live in a very old, inexplicably small house. There's issues with it that make it terrifying.

1. It has a very weird vibe. SIL grew up there and knows this, and while she tried to fix it as an adult, she always misses the mark and it almost looks worse. There's only one real guest bedroom as the other one is taken up by an unused full nursery (long story, won't get into that).

2. The house has scary structural features. The foundation is apparently fundamentally "off". The bottom floor is slanted. If you put a ball on the ground, it will roll across the kitchen. The stairs are extremely narrow. The doors will open by themselves and the closets don't shut completely because they're not level. There are no locks on any doors, so this is impossible to do anything about. Lights also break all the time, as again, it's an old house.

3. There are always scary sounds. The heating system is very old and the vent plus the start and stop aspect almost sounds like someone or something breathing in the vents. Both SIL and BIL are insomniacs, so they'll just get up in the middle of the night and pace around. They also have cats, so there's additional things that can dart around and stare at you with glowing yellow eyes. ALL of the bedroom furniture squeaks, so that's another layer.

4. There have been actual paranormal happenings there. SIL has spoken of things that have happened. An old man died there, but of "old age, and he was a perfectly nice person". She'll literally tell stories of being a kid and hearing sounds like an old man getting ready to go outside. There was an incident in her childhood where blood, or red blotches, appeared mysteriously on the tile and was not able to be cleaned, but went away on its own in a few days. There's even an old legend where if you left work boots at the bottom of the stairs at night, they would be at the top in the morning.

We stayed overnight there once for a wedding and we almost poo poo our pants, and we're adults. SIL offered to take a day off work so that they can tour 3 major cities in 3 days (the house is actually in an amazing location) and could immediately think of a ton of fun activities. However, I have to say no. Not only does she not really understand children, as she thinks 2 year olds still sleep in cribs and blocking the stairs with a baby gate at night for "safety" is fine, but her house is a horror show.

AITA? I don't want her to get offended or sad as she's wonderful, but I also don't want to deal with putting my kids on set of a horror show.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:33

Collapsing Farts: Jun 29, 2018; ð

Ghosts are insanely real

You probably have a ghost behind you right now

Thirsting for your rear end

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:34

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Insane neighbor believes I am training a stray cat to poop in his yard and is threatening me with legal action (GA)

quote:

So I have a mentally unstable next-door neighbor who is in his late 50s and completely losing it. We had an incident about two years ago where and I owned two outdoor cats and he claimed that they were being trained to poop in his yard. Now this was obviously not the case and he could never provide proof that they were doing this but I did my duty as a good neighbor and after failing to bring the cats inside because they wouldn’t stay in I rehomed them. I no longer own any animals. I did what I was supposed to do and I thought that was the end of it.

We haven’t spoken at all in two full years until yesterday when I was outside mowing my lawn while my kids, who are 12 and 2 years old respectively, played on their playground. He waved at me, and I took my headphones out only for him to immediately flipped me off with both hands in front of my children and scream “gently caress you you goddamn piece of poo poo. gently caress you gently caress you gently caress you you’re a piece of poo poo“. I sent my kids inside and told them to lock the doors and I confronted him.

He began to scream in my face “keep your goddamn loving cat out of my yard or I’ll come over there and rearrange your face.” I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and then I realize that there has been a stray cat kind of creeping around all of the houses around this neighborhood. It is not my cat and I have no control over where it goes, but I guess because of the past incident he has convinced himself that this cat belongs to me and that somehow I am training it just like he thought I was training the other cats. I assure you, I am not some sort of cat whisperer and this cat definitely doesn’t belong to me. He keeps screaming and threatening me until eventually I call the police and they come out and speak to both of us independently and then say all that I can really do is file for an order of temporary protection at the courthouse.

While he was screaming at me he mentioned something about getting the county involved in “having my rear end fined” hundreds of dollars for the cat.

I can’t afford that. And I can’t stress enough that this cat is not mine nor is it my responsibility. I have occasionally thrown a piece of lunch meat near it because it looks hungry and I’m a human with empathy. This is only on rare occasions. He claimed that because he has seen the cat in my yard that it is my cat. I explained all of this to the police officers and they said there really wasn’t much they could do unless he escalated further and got physical or entered my property.

I’m going to file for the order of protection but I am very concerned that he is going to try to report me to the county for a cat that I do not own. Does anyone have any advice on how I should approach this? I have already been told to record any further interactions I have with this man.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:43

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not letting my kids' aunt and uncle watch them solely because their house is terrifying?

This one is pretty good lol.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 11:48

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Pinecone Sample posted:

Insane neighbor believes I am training a stray cat to poop in his yard and is threatening me with legal action (GA)

File a complaint with the county against him and his cat first, quick before the bureaucracy decides it�s your cat.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 12:08

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Pinecone Sample posted:

Insane neighbor believes I am training a stray cat to poop in his yard and is threatening me with legal action (GA)

Any judge should render a Solomonic judgment wherein the cat poo poo gets cut in half and thrown in each person's yard.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 12:38

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

fistfight a 50 year old man and once he breaks a hip he'll be in the lovely Person's Forget Me Home.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 12:41

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for passively tormenting an entitled child?

Why the hell did either of their meals go on for 2 or 3 hours?

No 7 year old has the attention span for a 2 hour seafood dinner. I'm 37, and barely do.
Especially with a misbehaving 7 year old nearby.

Everyone sucks in this story. Grandma and Grandpa for dragging the kid to a seafood restaurant for hours. The guy for antagonizing the kid. And me for reading it.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 12:44

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

Pinecone Sample posted:

Insane neighbor believes I am training a stray cat to poop in his yard and is threatening me with legal action (GA)

Continue to deny it is your cat but do buy it a tiny reflective jacket with " OFFICIAL YARD POOPER" printed on one side and "PROPERTY OF <neighbours address>" on the other.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 12:44

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Telemaze posted:

If the Mormon friend and her bf don't do anything sexual, how the hell is she going to get a dick pic? I guess it will just be an innocent, friendly dick pic.

Also it's 2019, if she can get the picture she can google whether it's a normal length or GIS for comparisons. Asking your friend to look is just loving bizarre.

e: holy jesus the dude above with the gf with the eating disorder is a piece of shiiiiiit

We really need cumshitter to comment on this. I'd light the cumshitter signal, but the police cautioned me for a public display of pornography last time.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 13:06

Inspector Gesicht: Oct 26, 2012; 500 Zeus a body.

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for not letting my kids' aunt and uncle watch them solely because their house is terrifying?

A short spell in the Navidson House never hurt anyone.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:02

nankeen: Mar 20, 2019; by Cyrano4747

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend ghosts aren't real?

yta because ghosts are real

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:19

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

MarcusSA posted:

Oh don�t worry someone is gonna come busting in here like the kool aid man and explain it.

Don�t be an rear end in a top hat about medical conditions please.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:19

Cognac McCarthy: Oct 5, 2008; It's a man's game, but boys will play

alphabettitouretti posted:

Continue to deny it is your cat but do buy it a tiny reflective jacket with " OFFICIAL YARD POOPER" printed on one side and "PROPERTY OF <neighbours address>" on the other.

https://youtu.be/FzoXQKumgCw

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:26

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Collapsing Farts posted:

Ghosts are insanely real

You probably have a ghost behind you right now

Thirsting for your rear end

why wont it ask me if i am up for it. is it an incel ghost?

snergle fucked around with this message at 14:40 on Jul 30, 2019

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:28

LanceHunter: Nov 12, 2016; Beautiful People Club

Collapsing Farts posted:

I�ve seen obese people with bulimia and i dont understand how that works

Bulimia and anorexia are primarily compulsive/anxiety disorders manifesting through weight loss activities. It�s got more in common with OCD. And just like how people with real OCD don�t always actually keep their homes super-pristine (they�re just as likely to be living in weird Howard Hughes-style piles of filth) people with anorexia or bulimia don�t necessarily become the skeletons that pop culture has told us they become.

This is also why the arguments by the �fat acceptance� movement about how no one should ever promote any form of diet or exercise because it�ll give little girls bulimia are bullshit. It�s like saying that ads for cleaning products will give people OCD.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:47

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Lmao

AITA for �poo poo-shaming� my roommate?
I live with 2 guys my age in a 3 BR 2 BA apartment. I was friends with one (P) before we moved out here and the other was a friend of P (T). Before agreeing to live together I talked with P and he said they were pretty clean.

After 2 weeks I realize we have VERY different standards for cleanliness. I not a neat-freak but good lord they were gross. At first cleaned up after them, but once it became routine I spoke up and told them to clean up their own messes. They never did and I was left cleaning.

On Thursday I come home and go to the bathroom, but the toilet was to the brim with murky brown water and big doodoo chunks. We have 2 bathrooms. P uses one and T and I use the other. I come out and theyre watching TV. I asked �Who hosed the toilet?� knowing full well it was T. Neither of them say anything. �T I know it was you, can you go clean it up? Its nasty and I need to go� T says �Are you serious?� I respond �What? Its your mess.� He goes �Are you really poo poo-shaming me? Everyone is loving ashamed of when they take a poo poo. Yeah ok I clogged the toilet. MY. BAD. That doesnt give you any right to go and talk about me making GBS threads to the whole world�

Im lost and answer �Ok� but are you going to clean up the toilet or�?� T says �Dont know how� Even more lost I ask �Dont know how to clean or dont know how to use a plunger?� He yells �Dude not everyone is a loving mechanical engineer and knows how everything works� I answered �You dont need to be a M.E. to push your poo poo down a tube� At this point P joins in and says �If you care so much why dont you just clean it up?� I answer �There�s no way Im cleaning up someone elses turds, this is on T�

Come Saturday the toilet is still clogged. Im refusing to cave because Ive been caving and cleaning their messes ever since we moved in. No chance I let them win this round. I decide to teach T a lesson and show him that his messes arent going to just �go away� by literally shaming him with his own poo poo. While they were out Saturday night I rigged the bathroom. I aimed an IR sensor at the door and mounted a servo to the back of the toilet with a cable snaking into the well and tied to the water feed plunger so that when T opened the bathroom door the servo would pull on the cable, open the plunger and allow water to feed into the bowl which, already completely full, would overflow onto the floor covering his feet in his own soggy, neglected poo poo.

That night T brought a girl home from the bar. I didnt know this until I heard the scream. She was the first one to go into the bathroom and tripped the trap. T came running out and I could hear him completely panicking. The girl grabbed her stuff and took off. I came out and T was still freaking out and I said �Shoulda just cleaned it up� And then went back into my room.

T cleaned up the mess and it reeks in the apartment but they didnt know I had anything to do with what happened. So Reddit AITA for �poo poo-shaming� my roommate?

# ? Jul 30, 2019 14:47

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for calling my boyfriend (30) out for having "Incel" thoughts?

Throwaway account just in case.. I was at my boyfriend's house this weekend and we watched the Ted Bundy movie with Zac Efron. Later on the song FRIENDS by Marshmallo came on, essentially about a girl putting a guy in the friend zone and the following conversation ensued:

Him: Listen to the lyrics, Poor guy ... he's just trying to love her and she wants nothing to do with it

Me: So? it's not like she owes him anything

Him: And yet girls like her will go out and gently caress a Ted Bundy!

Me: wow that is exactly the thought process of an incel/"Nice Guy"

At this point he got super pissed off at me at threatened to kick me out of his house for being disrespectful towards him. I clarified that I said that his REASONING was similar to what I see often on r/niceguys but he took it personally like I've called him an incel. We have previously had similar arguments. He's a short guy and he's always had the view that guys who are tall, white, and attractive have an easy pass in life whereas he has to struggle succeed in life, whether financially or with girls. Obviously he's not an incel, because I've been dating him, but his mentality bothers me.

AITA for calling him out?

Well, he's not wrong about that.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:03

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Power Khan posted:

Lmao

AITA for “poo poo-shaming” my roommate?
I live with 2 guys my age in a 3 BR 2 BA apartment. I was friends with one (P) before we moved out here and the other was a friend of P (T). Before agreeing to live together I talked with P and he said they were pretty clean.

After 2 weeks I realize we have VERY different standards for cleanliness. I not a neat-freak but good lord they were gross. At first cleaned up after them, but once it became routine I spoke up and told them to clean up their own messes. They never did and I was left cleaning.

On Thursday I come home and go to the bathroom, but the toilet was to the brim with murky brown water and big doodoo chunks. We have 2 bathrooms. P uses one and T and I use the other. I come out and theyre watching TV. I asked “Who hosed the toilet?” knowing full well it was T. Neither of them say anything. “T I know it was you, can you go clean it up? Its nasty and I need to go” T says “Are you serious?” I respond “What? Its your mess.” He goes “Are you really poo poo-shaming me? Everyone is loving ashamed of when they take a poo poo. Yeah ok I clogged the toilet. MY. BAD. That doesnt give you any right to go and talk about me making GBS threads to the whole world”

Im lost and answer “Ok… but are you going to clean up the toilet or…?” T says “Dont know how” Even more lost I ask “Dont know how to clean or dont know how to use a plunger?” He yells “Dude not everyone is a loving mechanical engineer and knows how everything works” I answered “You dont need to be a M.E. to push your poo poo down a tube” At this point P joins in and says “If you care so much why dont you just clean it up?” I answer “There’s no way Im cleaning up someone elses turds, this is on T”

Come Saturday the toilet is still clogged. Im refusing to cave because Ive been caving and cleaning their messes ever since we moved in. No chance I let them win this round. I decide to teach T a lesson and show him that his messes arent going to just “go away” by literally shaming him with his own poo poo. While they were out Saturday night I rigged the bathroom. I aimed an IR sensor at the door and mounted a servo to the back of the toilet with a cable snaking into the well and tied to the water feed plunger so that when T opened the bathroom door the servo would pull on the cable, open the plunger and allow water to feed into the bowl which, already completely full, would overflow onto the floor covering his feet in his own soggy, neglected poo poo.

That night T brought a girl home from the bar. I didnt know this until I heard the scream. She was the first one to go into the bathroom and tripped the trap. T came running out and I could hear him completely panicking. The girl grabbed her stuff and took off. I came out and T was still freaking out and I said “Shoulda just cleaned it up” And then went back into my room.

T cleaned up the mess and it reeks in the apartment but they didnt know I had anything to do with what happened. So Reddit AITA for “poo poo-shaming” my roommate?

YTA if you don't keep doing this until they start being functional adults.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:05

DrPossum: May 15, 2004; i am not a surgeon

Power Khan posted:

Lmao

AITA for �poo poo-shaming� my roommate?

sstdh

Had me until the elaborate IR sensor rig

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:07

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

That is poo poo that didn't happen.

Yeah he really totally rigged an ir laser and servo. Girl probably would run out screaming regardless as soon as she saw the toilet, but story teller needed to make themselves sound cooler.

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:12

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

DrPossum posted:

sstdh

Had me until the elaborate IR sensor rig

As masturbatory stdh goes the smug OP sitting there saying "probably should have just cleaned the toilet" is pretty good

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:15

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Pinecone Sample posted:

My GF wants a look at her best friends BF's penis??

Boyfriend needs to step up. Invite his Girlfriend's Mormon friend and new boyfriend camping then challenge the guy to water-chugging contest. Then challenge him to a pissing contest. He can get that dick out if he puts his mind to it

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:19

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Whatever happened to the springloaded shitcatapult

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:22

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Made obsolete by the gunpowder shitcannon

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:23

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

AITA For letting my ex gf brother get his rear end kicked
Alright so this happened a few years back but I brought it up and was told what I did was pretty lovely. So I was dating this girl (24f) and she had a older brother (28) let's just call him Steve .I liked the guy he was into some of the stuff I was into we got a long pretty well. So I am a martial artist I train with a lot of UFC and Bellator fighters I don't fight myself but I train everyday with these guys and help them prep for fights.

So Steve and I go watch some MMA fights and after we go to a bar and some of my teammates wanted to meet up with us so I was like alright cool I didn't think much of it cause they are all cool guys. I never had any problem with them or anything. So Steve and I show up and my teammates are already there, we are having a good time Steve gets a bit drunk no big deal. Well I see him chatting with people and he seems to be getting close with my buddy Austin. Austin is a extremely chill do. Hell of a pot head and is normally just trying to have deep conversation when he is high so. All of a sudden Steve yells gently caress you motherfucker I look over Steve is standing up and Austin is still sitting down trying to eat his nachos and poo poo I go over and ask what's going on and Steve says that "that motherfucker says I need to train to defend myself" (Steve carries mace) so Steve is calling out Austin and says let's go outside and I'll show you what's up....

I was like yo Steve if you fight him I'm not getting involved. Austin wasn't trying to have any of it and was just trying to eat. So Steve goes over board and slaps Austin food. So Austin gets up and just says alright man let's go so they go across the street and I go with them. Austin just wrestles Steve down but than Steve head butts Austin and that's when Austin was like alright that's it and gets on top of him and punches Steve a few times and stops and says "do you want me to keep going" he gets off of Steve thinking it was done and this motherfucker sucker punches Austin. I started going over and Austin just started throwing hella combos and cut his lip and swelled his eye this was no more than like 3 combos so about 9 to 12 hits that's when I jump in and tell Austin to go inside he goes in. I pick Steve up took him home and helped him up with his face the next morning his family asked what happened and he says that I let him get beat up and I was like yeah. He shouldn't be picking fights especially with trained fighters. Then they turned to Steve and said it was his fault but my exgf put it on me

AITA for letting him fight my teammates?

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:24

DrPossum: May 15, 2004; i am not a surgeon

This mormon dick story is a problem that has already been solved by a niche industry

Just contact me at drpossum@weratecocks.biz to get an estimate for a discreet, in-home evaluation of your fiancee's junk

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:28

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Power Khan posted:

AITA For letting my ex gf brother get his rear end kicked
Alright so this happened a few years back but I brought it up and was told what I did was pretty lovely. So I was dating this girl (24f) and she had a older brother (28) let's just call him Steve .I liked the guy he was into some of the stuff I was into we got a long pretty well. So I am a martial artist I train with a lot of UFC and Bellator fighters I don't fight myself but I train everyday with these guys and help them prep for fights.

So Steve and I go watch some MMA fights and after we go to a bar and some of my teammates wanted to meet up with us so I was like alright cool I didn't think much of it cause they are all cool guys. I never had any problem with them or anything. So Steve and I show up and my teammates are already there, we are having a good time Steve gets a bit drunk no big deal. Well I see him chatting with people and he seems to be getting close with my buddy Austin. Austin is a extremely chill do. Hell of a pot head and is normally just trying to have deep conversation when he is high so. All of a sudden Steve yells gently caress you motherfucker I look over Steve is standing up and Austin is still sitting down trying to eat his nachos and poo poo I go over and ask what's going on and Steve says that "that motherfucker says I need to train to defend myself" (Steve carries mace) so Steve is calling out Austin and says let's go outside and I'll show you what's up....

I was like yo Steve if you fight him I'm not getting involved. Austin wasn't trying to have any of it and was just trying to eat. So Steve goes over board and slaps Austin food. So Austin gets up and just says alright man let's go so they go across the street and I go with them. Austin just wrestles Steve down but than Steve head butts Austin and that's when Austin was like alright that's it and gets on top of him and punches Steve a few times and stops and says "do you want me to keep going" he gets off of Steve thinking it was done and this motherfucker sucker punches Austin. I started going over and Austin just started throwing hella combos and cut his lip and swelled his eye this was no more than like 3 combos so about 9 to 12 hits that's when I jump in and tell Austin to go inside he goes in. I pick Steve up took him home and helped him up with his face the next morning his family asked what happened and he says that I let him get beat up and I was like yeah. He shouldn't be picking fights especially with trained fighters. Then they turned to Steve and said it was his fault but my exgf put it on me

AITA for letting him fight my teammates?

Uhh, I can't figure out which point in this story I'm supposed to start masturbating

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 02:04

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

three thoughts on the mormon penis inspection story

1) best friend is gay and hope the GF is driven to making out with her at the sight of a willy or something

2) low stakes Verbal Kint into a 3 way

3) people who need religion are broke brains and always need public approval for doing anything because they are so beat down by the fear of excommunication

# ? Jul 30, 2019 15:31

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »