Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babysitting_Mama

https://www.alibaba.com/showroom/controller-waterproof-case-for-wii.html

# ? Jul 29, 2019 17:27

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# ? May 27, 2024 11:34

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Wonder what that person thinks of Yoshi's Island.

He would like to smell it haha

# ? Jul 30, 2019 05:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

my spouse and i have been together for many years. ill just say i was born w/ a vagina and they were born with a penis. im not straight or cis, but i do a gender neutral/non-binary thing and i like cis men and non-binary people. my partner was also non-binary for a while, but recently told me they wanted to transition. no concrete answers or steps yet, but definitely wanting to present as a woman.

i have a lot of trans friends. a lot of lgbt friends. im non-binary so im technically trans myself. i am supportive as a friend. but this is also my spouse. and i dont... want to be with a woman. like at all. and even the small changes are pushing me away. theyre still the same person but this changes so much.

i also just really heavily rejected womanhood and their constant 'i wish i could have your chest' or 'i wish i was cute like you' is wearing me down because ive always hated my chest and i dont want to be cute? i dont want to be pretty? you can take my vagina and menstruation and risk of pregnancy and horrible heavy chest and the burden of womanhood, i would gladly give that up.

they told me stories about how they'd role play (not sexually) as women in video games/online and how people treated them nicely and gave them stuff. ive experienced the exact opposite. ive been harassed, doxxed, ive been sexually abused, maybe part of me cant understand why anyone would want this.

obviously it doesnt matter what i think or feel. ultimately its their life and i dont want to stop them from transitioning and being who they want and need to be. i also dont want a relationship like this. but if we divorce, especially if i ever moved on, they will have nothing here. none of their family, and just work acquaintances.

ive found online resources about how to handle this kind of stuff and many say its okay to realize you dont have to force yourself to be with someone you dont want to be, but it makes me feel selfish and lovely and like im just a liar and not really a good lgbt person. not woke enough.

i dont want to make this about myself moreso than it seems, but after all i went through i just wanted a nice quiet safe relationship where i could be at peace and not have to worry. im sure they feel the same way.

its too much.

The (small) element of this scene that seems to be based around shaming people for not wanting to gently caress literally anyone who asks has always seemed a little off to me :shrug:

A transition like this always has an effect on a romantic relationship, and if it's a dealbreaker for you it's a dealbreaker for you. You can still be a source of support for your partner during this difficult time without being in a romantic relationship as such, and I think maybe that would be a good idea?

quote:

Sometimes after I get out of the shower, I like to put on suspenders and dance around like I'm sexy Mal Reynolds.

I don't remember that episode

quote:

So coatimundi sex dream person here again. Not sure whats going on but right after my last confession I bought a coati plush doll when I couldnt stop thinking about that dream. Then I kinda forgot about it and everything has been cool and platonic with no problems until last nigh when I had a wet dream about my plush doll and woke up in a mess. I dont know why this is happening to me. Ill admit Im a furry and have been for forever but Im not a coatimundi and Ive never dated one either. Going to a con in a few weeks so maybe Ill find the coati of my dreams there, literally. That would be kinda cool I guess.

uh

I just ran a search in email for "coatimundi" and this email was the only one that came up

# ? Jul 31, 2019 13:54

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

What up fam, it's your boy CoatimundiSexDreamPerson95 coming at you again, don't forget to like comment and subscribe

# ? Jul 31, 2019 14:07

fordham: Oct 5, 2002; Your argument is invalid.; Exciting Lemon

quote:

Sometimes after I get out of the shower, I like to put on suspenders and dance around like I'm sexy Mal Reynolds.

What do you attach the suspenders to? :confused:

# ? Jul 31, 2019 14:37

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

fordham posted:

What do you attach the suspenders to?

Also uh what type of suspenders? Because that means something different in British English

# ? Jul 31, 2019 14:57

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

In my very non woke hot take on vagina having goon, they're a gay man trapped in a woman's body that wants to plow other dudes.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 15:18

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

purple death ray posted:

What up fam, it's your boy CoatimundiSexDreamPerson95 coming at you again, don't forget to like comment and subscribe

hey!!!

# ? Jul 31, 2019 17:36

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

quote:

im non-binary so im technically trans myself

That's not how that works.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 18:52

Testicle Masochist: Oct 13, 2012

Non-binary goon: You don't have to stay in a relationship with a woman, if you're not attracted to women that's ok and it's fine for you to not stay together, the situation might suck but it'll suck more for both of you if you tried to stick it out and ended up resenting her.

You should refer to her by she/her though, given you've said she wants to transition and present as a woman. I can't believe I need to say this to another trans person tbh.

I understand this is hard for you but resenting her for wanting features you have isn't great either, your dysphoria is not her dysphoria, your lived experiences are not her experiences. You wanting to escape the "burden of womanhood" and not understanding why anyone would want this is totally understandable, but like, it's kinda invalidating to trans femmes to act like it's some bizzare thing to want to be a woman just because you have dysphoria about your assigned gender at birth.

I personally don't really "get" why people would want to be a dude, as a trans woman, but I don't have to get it, if it makes them happier then that's what matters.

I'm sorry this is hard for you, but this isn't about you, it's about her and her happiness. If you can't be happy with her living as a woman then you need to leave for both of your sakes.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 19:13

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

That's just so much poo poo to unpack for a single relationship.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 20:09

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Testicle Masochist posted:

I understand this is hard for you but resenting her for wanting features you have isn't great either, your dysphoria is not her dysphoria, your lived experiences are not her experiences.

Spouse can want that all she wants, she just has to stfu instead of expressing that to OP in such invalidating ways. Would it be okay for the OP to tell her wife "I love your height and your stubble, I wish I was masculine like you, you're so lucky to have a dick"? No, that would be hella hosed up. So it's also not okay for wife to tell OP "I want to be womanly like you, all those things that cause you constant literal pain are good, so jelly~"

Also, OP's life is about OP and her goals and her happiness. It's not about her wife's goals and happiness. She shouldn't stand in her way, but she shouldn't sacrifice herself to it either. It's okay if she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore, and clearly she doesn't.

quote:

if we divorce, especially if i ever moved on, they will have nothing here. none of their family, and just work acquaintances

op consider this thought experiment. Let's say you stay together for your wife's sake. She has zero network, no friends or family, she relies on you for all her social needs and she's okay with that. That's obviously not fair on you, but it's also not fun for her, it sucks for her, it's a lovely way to live.

Now let's say you divorce. She realizes she is living in a place where she has zero network, no friends or family. She probably moves. She probably moves to a place that has a community where she can fit in better and where she can have actual friends.

imo the latter scenario is not just healthier for you, it's also better for her. Don't be the reason she stays in a place that has nothing for her. I'm not saying the process will be easy, but it can lead to a better result and more happiness for both of you.

# ? Jul 31, 2019 20:17

shy boy from chess club: Jun 11, 2008; It wasnt that bad, after you left I got to help put out the fire!

Found coatimundi sex dream guy post

quote posted:

quote:

My confession is that I am a very private person... but hoard information.

I love being anonymous. I love to go out at night with cash, walking the streets, phone turned off. Maybe grab a beer or a bite, walk up and down streets noting security cameras. The idea I could Forensic Files someone and walk home and never grace a camera, ping a cell tower, or charge a credit card excites me. Anonymous, in the middle of a city.

Conversely, I hoard information. For example, here on SA if someone makes a post about something remotely personal, I file it away.

So if someone says they live in Lake Oswego I file it away. Or if they say the the first time they paid attention to football was "super bowl XXXI when I was 9" I do file that away and do the math for a birth year. You get the idea.

The "post history" feature only goes back about a 1000 posts, so I think people assume if they share small tidbits they'll fall away unnoticed. But they don't.

I don't really do anything with them... sometimes if I get really mad at someone I look up photos of their house on the county tax assessment site and think about how Forensic Files would write it up if I went out there. But that's just that: thoughts - I don't act on them.

I'm pretty positive if anyone found this file buthey'd be freaked out, but honestly I don't have much sympathy. If you don't like me having your personal information, don't post it. Pretty simple concept really. I don't do phishing or pretexting, I literally just take what you post and plug it into search engines and public databases.

I don't think I'd ever use it, but I must admit it does feel good knowing that if someone ever did start really messing with me I could go old school SA and send them a picture of their house. (Though post street view that's not very intimidating I guess)

If it makes you feel better I do it with the people I know IRL too - anything of use they mention, it goes in the diary. Everyone IRL likes me. I remember birthdays, ask about their kids, it's like I give a poo poo. They like that. If people knew how much of my interactions are planned, they'd probably freak out.

lol the football thing was me

kudos

No idea where Lake Oswego is though

quote:

I have had a couple sex dreams about coatimundis. No idea why. Ive been taking CBDs to sleep and it works great but it also gives me these intense real-seeming dreams. I had one last night where I hooked up with a coati, had sex and then I was able to talk to her using this old flip phone through text, asking if she had a good time, want to hang out again, etc. I thought she was really cute and the sex was great. No idea where this comes from since I normally dont fantasize about sex with animals but that dream was hot. I definitely looked up pictures of coatis in what looked like suggestive poses and jerked off to them when I woke up. I had a similar dream a few years ago same thing but without being able to communicate with her. She took the lead and was on top riding me cowgirl style. Last night was regular old missionary. Dont take drugs kids.

Let me save you a Google, a coatimundi is this thing

I used to have a couple as pets. Didn't know I could have had 2 chicks at the same time for way less than a million dollars

E: messed up link

shy boy from chess club fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Aug 1, 2019

# ? Aug 1, 2019 00:36

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

shy boy from chess club posted:

Found coatimundi sex dream guy post

I used to have a couple as pets. Didn't know I could have had 2 chicks at the same time for way less than a million dollars

E: messed up link

Pffft that explains it, for some reason Gmail's search returned the correct result for "coatimundis" but not the singular. Thanks :tipshat:

# ? Aug 1, 2019 02:40

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

I hope anonymous goon is at least jacking off to my information.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 03:38

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Rad-daddio posted:

I hope anonymous goon is at least jacking off to my information.

The idea of someone looking me up based on my tax assessment online and being super mad about something I posted is just :laffo:

# ? Aug 1, 2019 12:23

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

I�m struggling to come up with a more pathetic fesh but �I�m secretly keeping tabs on a bunch of strangers!� is pretty much the platonic ideal of white noise feshing

# ? Aug 1, 2019 13:24

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Well it's a lot less socially stressful as making new/reaching out to old and reasonably harder to get an STD to get off that way so you're welcome I guess goon

# ? Aug 1, 2019 15:47

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Sjs00 posted:

Well it's a lot less socially stressful as making new/reaching out to old and reasonably harder to get an STD to get off that way so you're welcome I guess goon

I guess it is harder to get a STD from banging a coatimundi, but I still find it gross.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 15:56

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

McGavin posted:

I guess it is harder to get a STD from banging a coatimundi, but I still find it gross.

You're almost guaranteed to get a Severely Traumatized Dick

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:00

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

McGavin posted:

I guess it is harder to get a STD from banging a coatimundi, but I still find it gross.

Not only are you going to get an STD, but it will be one you can only get from a coatimundi, and then your doc will know you are a coatimundifucker.

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:10

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Sick Transmitted (to) Gloria (from) Mundi

# ? Aug 1, 2019 16:14

shy boy from chess club: Jun 11, 2008; It wasnt that bad, after you left I got to help put out the fire!

purple death ray posted:

You're almost guaranteed to get a Severely Traumatized Dick

Mine didn't have them since the original owners had them removed but they usually have huge long fangs. Like long enough to give a prince Albert piercing. Probably want to avoid that end when banging coatis.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 00:42

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I'm supposedly a functional alcoholic. I drink at least a fifth of whatever liquor every day. Whisky preferred but it doesn't matter. If it's a work day, I start drinking in the evening. Doesn't matter when I need to get up. I get up, hit the snooze on the alarm once or twice, clean myself up, and go do a good day's work. It is SHOCKING to me that no one at work has noticed I have this problem. I notice it. I'm shaking, I'm dizzy, I can't focus. But I have a great poker face and I can bullshit with the best of them. And apparently they can't smell it one me. Seems strange.

On my days off I just drink all day. I idolize those English authors who glorified and lionized this lifestyle. I never read their books because I'm too drunk to do that but I bet they're as good as they sound.

I have no intention of stopping because according to the constant stream of climate change news, we're hosed and beyond saving.

But that's just an excuse, I realize. I've been experimenting with tapering off my drinking. It feels good! But mostly I'm just baffled that nobody at work has noticed my problem. It seems obvious to me, but then again, I'm me. I wonder who else is a stealth alchy.

Even if we are hosed and beyond saving, there are years and years left before it personally affects your life (which is, ironically, the main reason we haven't done anything to stop it yet), and you might as well not spend it like this. I'm glad you're trying to cut it off; keep going, you'll see good results

quote:

Hi, I confessed a while back about my problem with buying LEGO. It�s gotten worse.

Today I lose my house because I haven�t paid the mortgage in 8 months. I got off lucky and still couldn�t do it. I�ve lost the only woman I ever loved. My family refuses to talk to me.

But I have nearly 300 thousand dollars in LEGO. Multiple millennium falcon, green grocers, even the Sydney Opera House.

I�ll never sell them, I realize that now, they mean too much to me. Selling them would mean admitting defeat. I�ll live in the street before I do that. And I probably will be soon.

I have a tiny apartment ready to go, 400 a month. 400 that should be spent on LEGO. 400 that will be spent on LEGO. I�ve robbed friends, scammed family members, and even stole money from charities. I need my LEGO.

When I write it down like this it�s so loving pathetic. But then I look st my shelves and I�m so happy. I don�t know what to do.

where the gently caress are you gonna keep your lego when you lose your house dude

I dunno, if this confession is real you need an intervention, because you don't have the willpower to keep up something like therapy on your own, but I can't really tell you to have your friends and family check you into shopping-addiction rehab. If you can manage to do that yourself, I guess, do it.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 13:06

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Imagine being such a drunk that you don't realize that everyone around you knows that you have a serious problem but that they can't do a damned thing to help you.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 13:27

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

Hey booze goon if you're looking to bring it to a stop please do so carefully and ideally with a doctor's oversight! Going cold turkey can kill you

# ? Aug 2, 2019 13:36

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

everyone at your job totally knows they just don't want to have that conversation with you

# ? Aug 2, 2019 13:42

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

Imagine how hard it is to have that conversation with a loved one, why would anyone ruin their own day to sit down with the sweaty guy at work whose always talking about Vonnegut and Bukowski

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:00

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

legoquacius posted:

Lego

Splicer posted:

The love of your life is Lego. Stop pretending and accept it. Then build a new wife, better and pointier than the last one. Also, stop paying for Lego storage. Build a Lego house and store your Lego in that.

God it's like you're not even trying.

OK so you've finished step 1

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:23

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Alcoholic goon, they can all smell it on you they're just being polite.

LEGO goon loving lol. Before you die, make a statue out of yourself built from Legos. Your strange life needs a twilight zone finale.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 14:47

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

If LEGO goon posts a photograph of his own tombstone constructed out of LEGO then this thread will have been worth it.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:00

faptown: Dec 6, 2008

Maybe take all the LEGO and build a new place to live?

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:11

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

but then they wouldn't be millennium falcons

# ? Aug 2, 2019 15:17

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

faptown posted:

Maybe take all the LEGO and build a new place to live?

Needs a sunken bathtub to attract the :females:

# ? Aug 2, 2019 18:18

quidditch it and quit it: Oct 11, 2012

There�s a thread in E/N for people with booze problems, Booze Problem Dude. I post in there too because I have a problem with booze!

Feel free to drop on by, it can�t hurt, right?

# ? Aug 2, 2019 18:44

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I have a buddy that drank like that for almost a decade. He had to clean himself up or he was going to die and now if he starts drinking again it very likely will kill him. I almost forgot how fun and cool he was before the drinking and coke switched his personality. I loved both of him, but having my old friend back is pretty awesome.

It's even better because people drinking around him doesn't annoy or tempt him so he still comes out with us!

# ? Aug 2, 2019 18:48

Tato: Jun 19, 2001; DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

Alcoholic dude, start smoking weed instead. At least you won't smell so loving rank to all your coworkers, who all definitely know you're an alcoholic lol

# ? Aug 2, 2019 20:19

Squashing Machine: Jul 5, 2005; I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka

loquacius posted:

where the gently caress are you gonna keep your lego when you lose your house dude

To be fair, you could probably fit $300,000 worth of Lego on one standard-issue Billy bookcase

# ? Aug 2, 2019 20:49

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Squashing Machine posted:

To be fair, you could probably fit $300,000 worth of Lego on one standard-issue Billy bookcase

Truth. I actually fit $300,000 of lego's on just the bottom 2/3rds of the bookcase, while my pride and joy $300,000 of Warhams 40k sits on the top shelf like the crown jewel it is.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 20:59

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# ? May 27, 2024 11:34

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

DandyLion posted:

Truth. I actually fit $300,000 of lego's on just the bottom 2/3rds of the bookcase, while my pride and joy $300,000 of Warhams 40k sits on the top shelf like the crown jewel it is.

I hope this is one of those spinning bookcases that reveals your play tables and mead collection.

# ? Aug 2, 2019 21:01

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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