Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Poop jokes: A lot! A lot! So much! I mean, this is the best one ever.

EorayMel posted:

Bushiz posted:

I mean, depends on the trade. You can't start from absolute zero but six hours of watching youtubes on the subject will get you far enough to get in the door.

I mean I got my current gig in skilled trades based of a half-remembered semester from high school that I mostly spent gambling lunch money on poker games, bullshitting my way through interviews, and claiming I'd been out of the game for several years because I'd been trying to climb the corporate ladder and decided against it and came back as to make it look like I was rusty, rather than just not knowing what I was doing. Then I just avoided the stuff where me not knowing could be dangerous, or made up past bad experiences I had had with it, or superstitions, and just asked other people on the crew to do it for me, and watched what they did. Everyone liked me because I brought extra coffee and donuts.

Two years on and I'm doin' great. I actually know how to do my job now.

Just lie, lie constantly. Your bosses are scum and they deserve worse than you being incompetent could ever give them.

SardonicTyrant posted:

The Future Mrs. or Mr. SardonicTyrant?!!!

Goon Danton posted:

They actually married you before, they've just been out of the game for a while.

El Padrino posted:

I will eat delicious devil-made cheese even if it curses me to poo poo out my innards for 3 days straight

Jerry Cotton posted:

Sir this is the poo poo that DIDN'T happen thread.

christmas boots posted:

One time he body slammed a microwave and bounced right off of it. It was mesmerizing.

Splatmaster posted:

"HOLY poo poo, DO YOU SEE THAT loving THING?"

-Safari guide tripping balls and noticing his own shadow

Black Griffon posted:

hey idiots I'm a few pages behind, but if you're still talking about public relations, shut up about public relations and tell me what to review next

El_Elegante posted:

review my balls

Black Griffon posted:

Hunter2 Thompson posted:

unifi projects a rich, woodsy lanfeel with booming TCP SYNs, rebounding ACKs, while still preserving the subtle piccolo-like timbre of SYN/ACKs. Even the difficult and elusive FIN often disregarded by APs in the same price range, with the consequences of a metallic and conciliatory tone (think of clutching a sweaty fistful of pennies), reaches a buttery warm crescendo on unifi. When it comes to UDP, unifi continues to amaze, ferrying all types of datagrams tested with incredible power and clarity.

La Brea Carpet posted:

me: i think i might have a severe intestinal parasite that is causing me lots of anguish please don't sing dragula
my anus: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the parasitology lab
my doctor via speakerphone: conquering the worm

LifeSunDeath posted:

https://i.imgur.com/pudn8hi.mp4

Picnic Princess posted:

I enjoy pickles but I wouldn't want to eat one the size of a whale penis all in one sitting.

Samovar posted:

Guess you don't take after your Mom then, huh?

Antivehicular posted:

I believe the technical term is a "Decorous Joseph"

Volmarias posted:

Peregrine falcon, eating a pigeon on 86th and 3rd, apparently doesn't give a poo poo that there's a bunch of people nearby watching it.

Spoilered image


Someone please caption this

Matt Zerella posted:

Ayyyyyy, I'm hawkin hea

haveblue posted:

From the NYC thread:

Bearjew posted:

trump

Vasudus posted:

A kid ran up to me at Metro Center while I was waiting to go home. He was about 8-10 and some kind of aussie/kiwi or something. Anyway he just yells BATMAN OR SUPERMAN at me. I respond Batman. He yells "HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND HE'S GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" while running away with his arms out like an airplane.

God bless tourists.

EorayMel posted:

Guess the thread and maybe the forum account name of this goon of the future:

Milo and POTUS posted:

lol but not in a good way

CzarChasm posted:

He's an install wizard? That has to be a glitch.
I hear those install wizards got carpal tunnel wrist.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK posted:

https://twitter.com/alejandroid/status/1159162678780338176?s=19

not sure if this really counts but

Facebook Aunt posted:

Where does player 2 sit?

NoneMoreNegative posted:

Animal-Mother posted:

Nancy Reagan was the Superhead of her time.

Also, Superhead's wiki page makes no mention of her having been publicly known for years as Superhead.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

the talk page says that it's "due to lack of reliable sources"

Animal-Mother posted:

Oral history strikes again.

canyoneer posted:

High Lord Elbow posted:

For twenty years that gif has wandered the bowels of the Internet, waiting for the question it was born to answer. This is a momentous day.

Beldantazar posted:

you mean the bowls of the internet surely :V

my new dog posted:

jeff admires his new cybermechanical form. your collar shocks you as you look away from the conveyor belt. jeff escapes the atmosphere. you are finally allowed to pee. zero g cyber jeff meditates in the light of a distant star. your bones are dust and the BEZ-0 lunar weapon system is hyper sniping a bad batch of your farm bred ancestors

Krankenstyle posted:

Outrail posted:

loving Jeff. Never met a Jeff that wasn't an oblivious wierdo.

RandomFerret posted:

It's against the law in most states to keep a deer you hit, it's to keep people from 'hunting' by just barreling through the woods in their trucks

Second guy to the scene is the one that has first claim

Platystemon posted:

There should be an exception for motorcyclists.

Prav posted:

bit gruesome to just tie the dude on your hood though

Krankenstyle posted:

now imagine he has more money than god, except its not imagination

Lazyhound posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/MaxwellTheTige1/status/1152597327196164098

Solice Kirsk posted:

Kinks targeted at miners? Must be a mod.

Zamboni Rodeo posted:

Mak0rz posted:

More from everyone's favorite lobster family

https://twitter.com/rosaslutzemburg/status/1159902071111503872

Admiral Joeslop posted:

That poor kid is going to choke on that leather-y well done steak because they're two.

Don't try and tell me they cook steak anything below charred either.

Cernunnos posted:

They eat meat raw.

No I'm not kidding.

Mak0rz posted:

Own the libs by giving your baby botulism

RoboRodent posted:

This sounds like child abuse to me.

Picnic Princess posted:

Hope that kid turns militantly vegan

Hardcordion posted:

I just hope he turns three.

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

I live on the top floor of my building. I am the infuriating neighbor. Sometimes I'll shout slurs as loud as i can at my cat for my own amusement. I loudly pace constantly around my apartment at all hours, and sometimes i enjoy yodelling.

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

honestly assumed that was a cumshitter post at first

Bertrand Hustle posted:

So did I until it ended without mention of making GBS threads cum.

What a username, though.

Outrail posted:

What says 'I don't give a poo poo what anyone thinks'? I mean really, truly, honestly don't give a single flying gently caress.

I like to think cumshitter is a lovely 87 year old grandmother of six who got bored when the grandchildren moved away and one day fell into the internet like a pig in poo poo.