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not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
That piece of poo poo of got rubbed out or he got help to do it himself.

Unless he took a header off the top bunk and smashed his brains out, there's no way he should've had enough time to hang himself or whatever.

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Merton Blask
Jun 30, 2008

So it's true! Mysterio is
gay for sex... with me?
There's a knee-jerk "yeah of course -they- took him out" response to this, but unnatural deaths in custody are not exactly a unique thing.

https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/msp0114st_sum.pdf I went trawling on BJS's site, couldn't find a summary for more recently than 2014. Articles suggest the number has exploded upward since 2014, but even back then there were over 4.7k unnatural deaths while locked up in any given year.


I'm wary of calling coverup and conspiracy in this day and age, especially when the event causing it was just another quiet feature of the american penal system that occurs every single day.

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country
At minimum someone slipped him a piece of rope and took a extra coffee break.

Damnit, I wanted that gutless turd alive and talking.

Bored As Fuck
Jan 1, 2006
Fun Shoe
God loving damnit that piece of poo poo needed to talk. We live in a hell universe.

Think about how many people aren't known even in those documents. We have no idea how many rich and powerful people abused those kids.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist but holy gently caress that looks suspicious. How was he not on suicide watch? HOW?

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
He was from his attempt two weeks ago

Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

Imagine what the hundreds of victims are thinking now that they couldn't even keep Epstein alive.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

As everyone woke up and saw the news, my FB has been flooded with everyone chiming in.
If every one believes it, is it still a conspiracy theory? Because, god drat. Everyone- drat near everyone who I've seen a post or comment from was like, "Yeah. We know what went down."

I'm emailing my Congress people today.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I don't believe for a goddamn second that he offed himself.

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD
The silver lining is that there can be no challenges to the search of Epstein's home so every thing they found is admissible against other future defendants

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

CNN said it was cardiac arrest, which seems like a difficult way to commit suicide.

Especially since he was already on watch after he was found with marks on his neck

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Internet Wizard posted:

CNN said it was cardiac arrest, which seems like a difficult way to commit suicide.

Especially since he was already on watch after he was found with marks on his neck

If the CIA can kill Kennedy, they can kill Epstein.
/s

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

BigDave posted:

At minimum someone slipped him a piece of rope and took a extra coffee break.

Damnit, I wanted that gutless turd alive and talking.

I'm a sheriff's deputy, and I've seen people try to commit suicide dozens of times (I have literally lost count). The most common way to do it is to use your clothing. He doesn't need a rope when he has a shirt. And if you do it right, you can be dead in three or four minutes. Quicker if you manage to cut off a vein instead of just your windpipe.


Edit

He should have been on a 1 to 1 though. I'm sure he was on suicide precautions, but without knowing what the policy is for that department I couldn't say how strong those would be.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
is it wrong to think that they're going to actually investigate it because the clintons were implicated at least in part

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice
Which is why people on actual suicide watch get poo poo like basically-paper hospital gowns and the like. There's absolutely no loving way a guy that high profile that already had "attempted" suicide once wasn't going to be on absolute top tier protections if the goal was to stop anything from happening.

This stuff stinks worse than old dog farts.

Old Boot
May 9, 2012



Buglord
I want to know where this guy's optimism comes from

https://twitter.com/HeerJeet/status/1160190230231732224

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Vasudus posted:

is it wrong to think that they're going to actually investigate it because the clintons were implicated at least in part

My first thought was actually "Great, here come the "Hillary killed him" memes.

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

Internet Wizard posted:

CNN said it was cardiac arrest, which seems like a difficult way to commit suicide.

Especially since he was already on watch after he was found with marks on his neck

Cardiac arrest is the end result of a whole bunch of ways of dying, it doesn't mean anything.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
God drat it. Not the news I wanted to wake up to at all. I hope someone hangs for this

Old Boot
May 9, 2012



Buglord

Milo and POTUS posted:

I hope someone hangs for this

well

i mean

Stultus Maximus
Dec 21, 2009

USPOL May

Godholio posted:

My first thought was actually "Great, here come the "Hillary killed him" memes.

Zyklon Ben is way ahead of you

https://twitter.com/GrrrGraphics/status/1160192586633510912

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

bird food bathtub posted:

Which is why people on actual suicide watch get poo poo like basically-paper hospital gowns and the like. There's absolutely no loving way a guy that high profile that already had "attempted" suicide once wasn't going to be on absolute top tier protections if the goal was to stop anything from happening.

This stuff stinks worse than old dog farts.

It definitely stinks, but the paper gown isn't always true. Every department will have it's own standards. Mine uses Ferguson gowns, which are at least real clothing, even if they look odd. (Seriously, google the stuff. It's pretty cool and supposedly untearable) Also for my department, mental health and suicide watch are determined entirely by the mental health team. We are just dumb deputies. If the mental health team says a dude isn't suicidal anymore, we have to follow their recommendations.

I'm not saying this isn't bullshit or that there was foul play/negligence/incompetence. I just want to provide a little context.

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:
I was talking to someone less than 12 hours ago about Epstein, and how his trial wasn't set to start until next summer, and how there was a 0% chance of him living until then. He said he wouldn't make it to New Year's, and I countered that he wouldn't make it to Canadian Thanksgiving.

Mother fucker.

Tiny Timbs
Sep 6, 2008

Internet Wizard posted:

CNN said it was cardiac arrest, which seems like a difficult way to commit suicide.

Especially since he was already on watch after he was found with marks on his neck

Guess what gets arrested when you get choked with a noose

Your...your cardiac

BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005



Lol just lol someone gonna get fired for this. Hope the payoff was nice and large.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Old Boot posted:

well

i mean

I WAS HAVING FUN WITH IT

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!
https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/statu...ingawful.com%2F

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Godholio posted:

My first thought was actually "Great, here come the "Hillary killed him" memes.

Already started at drill. gently caress these idiots.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

oh.


that was sooner than expected.

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

If anyone killed him it wasn’t a Clinton; that isnt bizarre enough for this timeline. If it was anyone it’s going to be someone more random than Matt Groening.

MonkeyWash
Jan 14, 2005
Donkey Rinse



Unfortunately I still have one chud friend, and they are running wild with the Clinton conspiracy poo poo. She's so powerful yet so incompetent at the same time.

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country

hobbesmaster posted:

If anyone killed him it wasn’t a Clinton; that isnt bizarre enough for this timeline. If it was anyone it’s going to be someone more random than Matt Groening.

Probably the royal family. Wasn't Prince William a part of this?

MonkeyWash
Jan 14, 2005
Donkey Rinse



BigDave posted:

Probably the royal family. Wasn't Prince William a part of this?

Prince Andrew

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

BigDave posted:

Probably the royal family. Wasn't Prince William a part of this?

Prince Andrew

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
https://twitter.com/nachosarah/status/1160215335854731265

same

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
I'm going to loving drink

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

It's been pretty loving obvious he's a nonce to the UK public for a fair amount of time.

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

BigDave posted:

Probably the royal family. Wasn't Prince William a part of this?

Movie double 0 agent: assassinate international terrorists to prevent the destruction of be world.
Real life double 0 agent: assassinate a pimp that provided girls for the royal family to rape

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
I like to think that the prison was basically a real life version of the movie Smokin' Aces.

Just like, a dozen hitmen for the ultra powerful running into each other because they all got the same job.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

sweet thursday posted:

He died the way he lived: with people looking the other way

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Merton Blask
Jun 30, 2008

So it's true! Mysterio is
gay for sex... with me?

Vasudus posted:

I like to think that the prison was basically a real life version of the movie Smokin' Aces.

Just like, a dozen hitmen for the ultra powerful running into each other because they all got the same job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-ZjldsoyAs

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