(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Last time I looked at the CSpam Epstein thread, it was a load of "lmao it owns that Epstein was murdered to cover up for a bunch of even more powerful people and nothing will ever change" sort of stuff that I stopped reading the Trump lol thread over. Also, the discussions of suicide make me a tiny bit uncomfortable in themselves. It's rather like the psychological equivalent of being in a huge crowd full of people making so much noise, and all manner of things happening, and all the while someone is trying to have a conversation with me. I don't know what I think. Literally don't know. About anything. My head hurts, it really does. I think it's the weather, but may be everything else too.
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Aug 11, 2019 19:34
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| # ? May 23, 2024 16:21 |
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I made a friend today who is helping me become more fluent in Spanish. 
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Aug 11, 2019 19:43
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Had a day that should have been stressful, but didn't feel that way. It was a long car trip with my gf and her family where everyone was stressed and tired, but I felt fine and helped people stabilize. And then we got home and when everyone else sat down to relax, I had a complete meltdown panic attack. Like my brain just took all the stress and stored it up in a big jar until things were okay, and then just spilled all of it everywhere at once. I'm sure there's a name for this and ways to cope with it but I don't know what they are and I don't have a therapy appointment for a bit.
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Aug 12, 2019 02:26
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Goon Danton posted:Had a day that should have been stressful, but didn't feel that way. It was a long car trip with my gf and her family where everyone was stressed and tired, but I felt fine and helped people stabilize. And then we got home and when everyone else sat down to relax, I had a complete meltdown panic attack. Like my brain just took all the stress and stored it up in a big jar until things were okay, and then just spilled all of it everywhere at once. I'm sure there's a name for this and ways to cope with it but I don't know what they are and I don't have a therapy appointment for a bit. this is every day of work
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Aug 12, 2019 02:47
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UnfortunateSexFart has issued a correction as of 07:37 on Aug 30, 2019 |
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Aug 12, 2019 03:31
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:My wife and I have never lived in America but she gets very scared by all the mass shooting stuff and I get very scared by all the "rich people can do whatever the gently caress they want stuff" so it's cool that our brains are being destroyed by America from 10,000km away. felt i was a tech support rep for t-mobile during katrina i still think abt it now and then and i live nowhere near nola and have never been there brains are weird
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Aug 12, 2019 08:51
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Dragomorph posted:That said, I was in a period of unemployable unemployment a while back because I was fired from a medical transcription job the same day I was accepted into my Ph.D program, so I ended up taking a lot of free employment courses as part of my unemployment. And one thing I definitely remember is that there are ways to actually get certified for using specific software online, sometimes for free. A quick search found this page with a bunch of courses for Excel, for example. huh, maybe i'm not currently unemployable and forever stuck in that state. lol
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Aug 12, 2019 11:19
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Yesterday was rough. I tried working thru some self-care issues and there was violent pushback from within. I had to reach out to my therapist about it. We'll talk about it more on Tuesday. There were also lots of nightmares, and a bad late night fast food purchase decision when I'm already in overdraft. 1 out of 5 stars, would not recommend the last 24 hours.
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Aug 12, 2019 11:27
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RandomPauI posted:Yesterday was rough. I tried working thru some self-care issues and there was violent pushback from within. I had to reach out to my therapist about it. We'll talk about it more on Tuesday. There were also lots of nightmares, and a bad late night fast food purchase decision when I'm already in overdraft. You got through it, though! Well done! Had sadbrains all weekend, last week felt several years, long, but I got some sleep though, and feeling better today.
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Aug 12, 2019 16:48
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welp im going to be homeless or i will have to literally kill myself just so my daughter has a place to live with my mom (a vile narcissist will not let me live with her because i have depression and she resents me for it) going so far as to tell me, in the throes of my ideation, that if i died my daughter would "get over it". she's 4 and her mom already passed this past January. my years of DBT and dealing with depression, plus whatever parental urges i have, can assure you gentle goons that im not in a literal "call the hotline" crisis mode right now, so dont worry. BUT at times this almost feels worse, because as my options are so limited i feel like my only ones are a) Die, let my mom raise my daughter in a house at least, or b) Travel somewhere and show up at a homeless shelter and hope that social services/The State can guide us to a somewhat functional life. how is one to deal with that, when everyone in my life frames it as: suicide is the selfless rational act, and being there for my daughter is the selfish emotional one. tldr both my parents want me to kill myself so i dont take their granddaughter away to another state e: oh yeah, my folks are literally my only support network LMAO A Big Fuckin Hornet has issued a correction as of 01:59 on Aug 13, 2019 |
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Aug 13, 2019 00:00
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RandomPauI posted:Yesterday was rough. I tried working thru some self-care issues and there was violent pushback from within. I had to reach out to my therapist about it. We'll talk about it more on Tuesday. There were also lots of nightmares, and a bad late night fast food purchase decision when I'm already in overdraft. I'm actually working through trauma in therapy finally, and I had my first nightmare in decades last night. Like, not just sad or uncomfortable situation, but legit monster-versus-human horror show. Wheeee.
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Aug 13, 2019 00:51
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A Big Fuckin Hornet posted:welp im going to be homeless or i will have to literally kill myself just so my daughter has a place to live with my mom (a vile narcissist will not let me live with her because i have depression and she resents me for it) going so far as to tell me, in the throes of my ideation, that if i died my daughter would "get over it". she's 4 and her mom already passed this past January. jesus christ your mom loving sucks. do whatever you can to get a home for yourself and your daughter.
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Aug 13, 2019 05:52
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I need to find a real outlet for doing leftist stuff or really anything at all because I just feel that posting about politics all the time is killing my brain and I just really don't like a lot of people here, but my schedule is so hosed by working night shift that I barely do anything these days except sleep until like 5-6pm, leave to go to work at 10, come back home at 8am, and sleep again.
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Aug 13, 2019 06:00
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Flavius Aetass posted:jesus christ the three of us actually just moved into a new house at the end of this year (i didnt always live with her or anything, but being a single parent sucks rear end so i welcome the help), but after we had a fight, me calling out her years of passive aggressive abuse, the kiddo and i went to stay with my dad 1k miles away in NC, to give us some space. it was supposed to be a few weeks but then she said no, you're not coming back. nearly all of our stuff is still up north. this was 2 months now. my dad who is another stupider kind of rear end in a top hat who refuses to help unless it means staying with him in a depressing camper at one of those retiree/vacation rv parks surrounded by chuds. its extremely bad for my mental health, no resources, no schools. its not a place we can stay. im way too poor to just move and rent an apartment somewhere, even a train ticket out of this place is hard to do. they are pretty much backing me into a corner where my only options for my kid to have a "normal" life means i have to die, and they seem mostly fine with that.
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Aug 13, 2019 10:22
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you're in a very bad place right now, buddy. it sounds like you're doing some catastrophic thinking about a temporary situation, so i think you need to find a way to pull up and come up with a long-term plan. one thing for sure, your daughter needs you, not whatever your idea of a normal life that your depressed brain is thinking right now
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Aug 13, 2019 12:32
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i'm a (formerly) single dad with depression btw, so feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to
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Aug 13, 2019 12:36
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Flavius Aetass posted:you're in a very bad place right now, buddy. it sounds like you're doing some catastrophic thinking about a temporary situation, so i think you need to find a way to pull up and come up with a long-term plan. "normal" just in the sense of relative stability. but yeah, thats whats keeping me going. i am a very good parent as anyone who knows my kid would attest to. but i dunno, the actual situation really does feel catastrophic. i even left my (lovely lowpaying) job to be a full time parent what with the cost of daycare and with assurances from my family of material support. but that only extended far enough to enduring the kind of emotional abuse she'd lay on me. my rational brain is trying to come up with a plan but that mostly just involves finding a family shelter in an affordable city, with decent social services and starting from scratch. i have no one to help me at any step of the way though so it does feel insurmountable atm. its a bad place indeed but at least i can vent on the internet about it with compassionate souls  e: and thanks for the offer i might take you up on that sometime
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Aug 13, 2019 13:19
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I've always had anxiety issues, but I developed TMJ disorder recently due to clenching/grinding at night and I'm pretty sure it's due to everything going on in the world! Perhaps I should not read this forum so much!
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Aug 13, 2019 15:10
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A Big Fuckin Hornet posted:"normal" just in the sense of relative stability. but yeah, thats whats keeping me going. i am a very good parent as anyone who knows my kid would attest to. your kid would hate being raised by either your mom or dad so dont make her go through that i dunno where you are, but Mary's Place in seattle specializes in housing women with kids, you could call them to see if they might know a good place near you that your google searches might not have found yet
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Aug 13, 2019 15:59
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So I'm about to start a new semester in year 8 of undergrad and while I'm still having some trouble in making a lot of progress and should be on track to graduate. The one serious problem in having is that I oversleep really badly. I've done ok so far since ive been living at home so someone can knock on my door if I'm late but in moving out in, uh, under 48 hours and I have to actually drag my rear end out of bed now. I tend to stay up too late and then snooze alarms- probably gonna actually get an alarm clock and put it out of reach. Anyone have tips for helping?
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Aug 13, 2019 23:59
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StashAugustine posted:So I'm about to start a new semester in year 8 of undergrad and while I'm still having some trouble in making a lot of progress and should be on track to graduate. The one serious problem in having is that I oversleep really badly. I've done ok so far since ive been living at home so someone can knock on my door if I'm late but in moving out in, uh, under 48 hours and I have to actually drag my rear end out of bed now. I tend to stay up too late and then snooze alarms- probably gonna actually get an alarm clock and put it out of reach. Anyone have tips for helping? There are sites you can use that will call your phone at a scheduled time, I find that my subconscious mind wakes me up for a phone call more than an alarm
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Aug 14, 2019 00:07
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A Big Fuckin Hornet - You've got a plan. Head to someplace else with better services and find some support. You've got an internet connection, that at least opens doors. Can you collect any kind of income now? Unemployment? GoFundme? Looked into customer-service work-from-home type jobs? That could potentially be enough to get you a first+last+deposit wherever you're heading, and keep the job when you get there, and you're working from home, so you wouldn't need to worry about paying for daycare. StashAugustine posted:So I'm about to start a new semester in year 8 of undergrad and while I'm still having some trouble in making a lot of progress and should be on track to graduate. The one serious problem in having is that I oversleep really badly. I've done ok so far since ive been living at home so someone can knock on my door if I'm late but in moving out in, uh, under 48 hours and I have to actually drag my rear end out of bed now. I tend to stay up too late and then snooze alarms- probably gonna actually get an alarm clock and put it out of reach. Anyone have tips for helping? Use two alarms, set them to go off at the same time, each out of reach, each further from the other. Gets you away from bed. Alarms should also be loud. Had a horrible time with oversleeping/snoozing alarms for years, that helped.
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Aug 14, 2019 00:11
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Failson posted:A Big Fuckin Hornet - You've got a plan. Head to someplace else with better services and find some support. thanks, this post helped actually. daycare wont actually be an issue since she'll be going to school soon and i can just try to find another lovely job. im just trying to scramble out of this insane hole i feel i cant get out of and i think im mostly terrified of having to completely start a new life from nothing.
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Aug 14, 2019 00:29
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for what it's worth, now, and especially because of the monstrous behavior of your mom, is a great time to get out of wherever you are for your own sake and for your daughter.
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Aug 14, 2019 00:34
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e: removed
AARD VARKMAN has issued a correction as of 20:29 on Jul 17, 2020 |
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Aug 14, 2019 01:41
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actionjackson posted:I've always had anxiety issues, but I developed TMJ disorder recently due to clenching/grinding at night and I'm pretty sure it's due to everything going on in the world! Perhaps I should not read this forum so much! i have anxiety and, while i was prescribed latuda off-label, had a period of weird muscle tightness in my jaw. when my doctor tried to up my dose, in hopes it would help with anxiety (and, to some extent, depression) i almost immediately experienced symptoms of tardive dyskinesia. i stopped taking it. the next time i saw my doctor, she had put me on something else, then paid much more attention to the dosage/side effects afterwards. i'm fine now. but for a long while i was having jaw pain, to the point that i'd struggle to eat or fall asleep. like, whenever i'd open my jaw past a certain point, a sound somewhere between a 'click' and a 'thunk' would travel through my skull to my ear and then my brain. i ended up doing jaw 'exercises' that i found through google, especially when the pain kept me from sleeping. they helped a bit. the exercise articles frequently mentioned TMJ, which is why i'm typing this to you. maybe stuff like that'll help, even if only temporarilly. imo, you're going to have to change something else, closer to the root of the problem, which will probably involve seeing a doctor, though Finicums Wake has issued a correction as of 04:26 on Aug 14, 2019 |
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Aug 14, 2019 04:23
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Finicums Wake posted:tardive dyskinesia latuda owns
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Aug 14, 2019 04:33
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TheAardvark posted:I found a couple of seemingly good therapists after my last posts in the thread. I have my first meeting next week. I am still looking for a psychiatrist for meds. It sounds like you're having ruminations. That's typical for depression, but energetic ruminations that keep you from sleeping may be a sign of bipolar. Talk to your doctor about them if you haven't already. Also, it's a very good thing you're aware your behavior is harmful to yourself and others and are working to stop it. Make sure your therapist knows what you're going through. Never take any jerk on the internet's advice but IN MY NON-DOCTOR COMPLETE BULLSHIT OPINION you may have a personality disorder, maybe Borderline. Definitely worth asking about. tl;dr tell everything to your therapist and be all like he;lp
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Aug 14, 2019 04:35
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I have similar issues with obsessing over relationships or stressful events and while i too would like a long term solution I have found that repeating some sort of mantra may help break it in the short term and then you can start thinking of something else. if you've ever read William Gibson's Pattern Recognition I keep saying "he took a duck to the face at 250 knots" until it clears up enough I can start thinking about work or videogames or exactly why John Locke was a shithead- anything that isnt unhealthy. This is entirely a personal thing so 100% YMMV on this
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Aug 14, 2019 04:42
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turn off the TV posted:latuda owns 
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Aug 14, 2019 04:48
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can anyone explain what wellbutrin does when paired with an SSRI (zoloft for me)? I hope this isn't kosher but I hear that's a really common combo and wondering if I should talk more about it with my doc
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Aug 14, 2019 04:59
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So frustrating that you can have a really productive, good day, but still crawl into bed for a few hours of an emotional torrent of anxiety, loneliness, and rumination. I just wish my brain would shut up at night and let me sleep. Even on better nights it doesn't shut up, there's just a ton of things to think about, dumb parody lyrics to think up, fake conversations rehearsals with people, ect. Brains suck y'all
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Aug 14, 2019 08:27
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StashAugustine posted:I have similar issues with obsessing over relationships or stressful events and while i too would like a long term solution I have found that repeating some sort of mantra may help break it in the short term and then you can start thinking of something else. if you've ever read William Gibson's Pattern Recognition I keep saying "he took a duck to the face at 250 knots" until it clears up enough I can start thinking about work or videogames or exactly why John Locke was a shithead- anything that isnt unhealthy. This is entirely a personal thing so 100% YMMV on this I read it less than 6 months ago by some odd chance. I will give the saying a thought if nothing else because it's so weird I still have it memorized. And thank you Chokes for your thoughts/help.
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Aug 14, 2019 09:15
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Goon Danton posted:I'm sure there's a name for this and ways to cope with it but I don't know what they are and I don't have a therapy appointment for a bit. I have similar stuff sometimes and see it a bit like a bank balance and going overdrawn- later on you end up paying for it and sometimes I feel poo poo and sometimes I get lucky and can get away with some self care to get me out of debt StashAugustine posted:The one serious problem in having is that I oversleep really badly.... Anyone have tips for helping? Get to bed earlier, establish a routine for sleep and look at the other aspects of sleep hygiene like a dark room to sleep in, comfy bed, adjust screens to redshift the spectrum at night- there's a lot of factors to play with to improve your sleep and that helped me wake up feeling less groggy. A close friend has had good results with a SAD lamp that works as an alarm clock and raises the lighting like a fake dawn, but my method for making sure I will wake up on time or before is to drink a poo poo load of water before bed, then you will need to pee
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Aug 14, 2019 09:52
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Yesterday, i had an ensure and a sandwich, went to work, got hungry, and became a raging mess Today, I had the same sandwich, with chips this time, and no ensure (until later), and was fine the whole day. I don't understand this broken rear end body
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Aug 14, 2019 09:57
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i got tardive akathisia within like 30 minutes of taking it at its lowest dose it's great
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Aug 14, 2019 14:51
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DesperateDan posted:I have similar stuff sometimes and see it a bit like a bank balance and going overdrawn- later on you end up paying for it and sometimes I feel poo poo and sometimes I get lucky and can get away with some self care to get me out of debt i just have to pee a couple times during the night, even if i dont drink within an hour of bed 
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Aug 14, 2019 15:17
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Consummate Professional posted:can anyone explain what wellbutrin does when paired with an SSRI (zoloft for me)? I hope this isn't kosher but I hear that's a really common combo and wondering if I should talk more about it with my doc are you curious about its combo effect or side effects? cuz I am on wellbutrin and an SSRI (escitalopram i.e. lexapro) and the duo seems to knock my ideation down 90% of what it was and anxiety is halved. there havent been much by way of side effects. i cant tell you how they interact pharmaocologically but I can say my pcp prescribed them both for me and they seem to be fine dancing partners
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Aug 14, 2019 15:31
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got some dark web modafinil on the way, time to take this foggy brain OFF ROAD
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Aug 14, 2019 15:32
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| # ? May 23, 2024 16:21 |
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so I've been seeing this really fantastic girl for about three weeks, and I'm pretty smitten with her. she's cute, smart, c-spam politics, all the important things. about a year before I met her, she got a DUI, which according to her records, was the second or third in five years, so she got some serious punishment for it - she got out of jail after serving a one month bid right before I met her, and has another ten months suspended hovering over her. I despise the legal system and everything about it, and while I'm not a fan of DUIs, she doesn't drink anymore and hasn't for many months, so I have chosen to accept her past for what it is and see how things go. fwiw i was an opiate addict until two years ago, and while I might have a clean record, I still understand addiction and making mistakes anyway, the loving courts scheduled her first alcohol safety and awareness program meeting for a day when she was literally in prison and thus unable to attend. this triggered a "violation of ASAP" hearing, which itself triggered some kind of warrant, I guess? in order to prove she was in prison that day, her lawyer has to send documents from her incarceration to the ASAP people, who then have to pass that on to the courts, because nobody communicates with each other at all. however, in order for the lawyer to do that, she had to get a ride all the way the gently caress out to the courts to meet her case manager and sign a consent form that allows the lawyer to disclose her time served to the case manager (who is a court employee). so she did all of that today, got the form signed, and when she got back to her apartment there was a sheriff's card waiting for her on her door telling her to "please call immediately" over "ASAP vios". the lawyer should be able to resolve it really quickly, I hope, by sending them the relevant paperwork that they were unable to pass internally from one part of the court system to another. it's just very depressing and anxiety inducing, because I like this girl a lot and I hate seeing her suffer like this even if she did commit a genuinely execrable crime, especially when she's been diligently discharging her legal obligations for months. just venting in here, the legal system loving sucks and while drinking and driving is totally inexcusable, being wrapped up in the courts and having to serve time in a hellish American prison and then live with the bureaucratic sword of damocles hanging over your head, capable of imprisoning you for another year based on clerical errors, is just impossibly cruel. the whole thing is just bumming me out a bit, I mean it isn't technically my problem and we haven't been together terribly long so I'd be okay, but thinking about her getting scooped up by the pigs and thrown away because of a procedural mistake fills me with ennui and rage.
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