(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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A Big Fuckin Hornet posted:naw i know, i just need a void to holler into and cspam has always been there for me CSPAM: when the void hollers back
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Aug 18, 2019 02:29
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| # ? May 28, 2024 00:36 |
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When you holler into the void the void hollers into you
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Aug 18, 2019 02:48
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me irl talking to my doctor
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Aug 18, 2019 02:57
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Chokes McGee posted:if it’s anything like mine, it’s probably going to be “how ya been? good? great see you in 6 months” it'll be painless, I'm sure, but my brain worms go into overdrive about getting committed and poo poo. it is a new pcp as I've moved and my old pcp isnt gonna give me a refill without seeing me and I get it Automatonic Water posted:Yeah I hate this poo poo. I've been on the same dose of zoloft literally my entire adult life, I dont want to spend even 5 minutes w the guy who spends half the appointment needling me about not being married yet (????) Just click the refill button dude lmao that's very funny and a "pro-marriage" doctor skitch could be hilarious, but I'm sorry you gotta sit through that poo poo. just make with the meds that have been working for years please and thanks
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Aug 18, 2019 03:11
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im so desperate im thinking of doing Failsons gofundme idea but oh lol i dont even have a bank account anymore.
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Aug 18, 2019 03:21
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Finicums Wake posted:i have anxiety and, while i was prescribed latuda off-label, had a period of weird muscle tightness in my jaw. when my doctor tried to up my dose, in hopes it would help with anxiety (and, to some extent, depression) i almost immediately experienced symptoms of tardive dyskinesia. i stopped taking it. the next time i saw my doctor, she had put me on something else, then paid much more attention to the dosage/side effects afterwards. i'm fine now. but for a long while i was having jaw pain, to the point that i'd struggle to eat or fall asleep. like, whenever i'd open my jaw past a certain point, a sound somewhere between a 'click' and a 'thunk' would travel through my skull to my ear and then my brain. I started wearing an appliance on my lower teeth and night and doing some jaw stretching during the day. I think it's helping a bit but it will probably take a while for the daily pain to subside.
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Aug 18, 2019 03:25
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Eat This Glob posted:it'll be painless, I'm sure, but my brain worms go into overdrive about getting committed and poo poo. it is a new pcp as I've moved and my old pcp isnt gonna give me a refill without seeing me and I get it well there’s your problem, stop self medicating with angel dust
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Aug 18, 2019 08:01
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lol
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Aug 18, 2019 16:22
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I've had hella anxiety since getting my first job after college and I finally figured out the reason: I literally never stopped working on classwork during my four years of college and now I have a 9 to 5 where I don't have to work even a fraction as hard to get things done.
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Aug 18, 2019 19:56
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SardonicTyrant posted:I've had hella anxiety since getting my first job after college and I finally figured out the reason: I literally never stopped working on classwork during my four years of college and now I have a 9 to 5 where I don't have to work even a fraction as hard to get things done. I didn’t realize just how easy it was to be happier at your job until the first time I was offered a promotion and said gently caress no if you’re happy with what you’re doing then why change it in the name of ambition?
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Aug 18, 2019 20:02
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SardonicTyrant posted:I've had hella anxiety since getting my first job after college and I finally figured out the reason: I literally never stopped working on classwork during my four years of college and now I have a 9 to 5 where I don't have to work even a fraction as hard to get things done. Hey, look on the bright side: I have a friend who is going through basically the reverse situation, coasted in school and now has a punishing grind leading to massive impostor syndrome, in addition to being super burned-out all the time. At least you know you can work that hard and challenge yourself if you need to. If it bugs you that much, maybe keep in the habit of challenging yourself a bit in your free time, but like, on stuff to benefit you?
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Aug 18, 2019 20:05
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SardonicTyrant posted:I've had hella anxiety since getting my first job after college and I finally figured out the reason: I literally never stopped working on classwork during my four years of college and now I have a 9 to 5 where I don't have to work even a fraction as hard to get things done. HELLO LADIES posted:If it bugs you that much, maybe keep in the habit of challenging yourself a bit in your free time, but like, on stuff to benefit you? Endorsing this 100%. I've made absolutely massive strides in self improvement every time I didn't have to work so hard at my job.
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Aug 18, 2019 20:14
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I have to call my mom today for an unknown conversation that is most certainly about me asking for some help while I try to do a bootcamp Rules, not at all an anxiety moment
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Aug 18, 2019 20:19
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I go to school tomorrow, for the first time in 8 years, to get a computer science degree, im freaking the gently caress out.
Turtlicious has issued a correction as of 08:08 on Aug 19, 2019 |
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Aug 19, 2019 06:50
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It's gonna be fine, don't push yourself too hard, and you can always drive in to the work if you're feeling overwhelmed by the people. I was out of school from 13 to 18 or something, and it's tough going back, but once you get over the hump, it's gets a lot easier.
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Aug 19, 2019 07:04
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Turtlicious posted:I go to school tomorrow, for the first time in 8 years, to get a computer science degree, im freaking the gently caress out. good luck. don't let the "having been out of shcool for 8 years" thing get you down. idk what kind of school you're going to now, but 'non-traditional students' are becoming a larger portion of students year after year, even in schools that aren't known for being commuter colleges/catering to non-traditional students/whatever. so, yeah, don't let that part freak you out. as someone posting itt, i'd encourage you to check out your school's disability resources, and maybe submit the paperwork and poo poo to ask for accomodations in your classes. computer science isn't exactly the easiest degree, and having other poo poo to deal with on top of it might make it harder, so take advantage of whatever help is there for you imo ganbatte
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Aug 19, 2019 09:06
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On the upside the actual core tasks of studying are mostly easier as an adult, and I'd personally argue that computer science is a reasonably rewarding area of study. Lots of stuff to soldier through getting into the core tasks (e.g. need to get a good pattern of self-motivating and not being too freaked out about the judgement that does by necessity exist), but try your best and I believe you'll do just fine.
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Aug 19, 2019 09:10
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Turtlicious posted:I go to school tomorrow, for the first time in 8 years, to get a computer science degree, im freaking the gently caress out. I was in the same boat about a year and half ago. I can almost guarantee you are going to be in the top 10% of students especially if you have been working a full time job over the course of the prior 8 years and actually choose to dedicate time and effort to school.
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Aug 19, 2019 13:01
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also there might be new friends! try a club if you have free time
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Aug 19, 2019 16:33
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yeah, my wife went back to school at 28 for her nursing degree. she flunked out of a nursing program at 18 or 19. Her second time through, she was elected class president as a person a decade older than most of her classmates and did a lot of tutoring and graduated with honors. going to school as a grown rear end adult can be easier as you're likely there with a concrete life goal opposed to some nebulous "I should get a degree" idea ad a teenager
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Aug 19, 2019 17:51
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Having a concrete goal is a help at any stage of life; and I am at least marginally less stupid at 26 than 18
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Aug 19, 2019 18:31
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I still don't know what subsection of computer science will lead to the easiest career path.
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Aug 19, 2019 18:46
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Turtlicious posted:I still don't know what subsection of computer science will lead to the easiest career path. Robotics. Anything with automation, or machine programming. Someone gotta run/write for/service the the machines.
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Aug 19, 2019 19:00
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yeah, vision systems, ai, and machine learning is huge in manufacturing and defense. im not a computer toucher or engineer, but i do talk to them for a living and i can only imagine that stays a firm market until every worker is out of a job.
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Aug 19, 2019 19:16
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Turtlicious posted:I still don't know what subsection of computer science will lead to the easiest career path. I would not suggest focusing too hard on what is the easiest career-wise, as they tend to be pretty universally strong (there are exceptions, but it is not that hard to figure out what they are), and it may make more sense to get a sense of what you enjoy most. It does after all tend to be a lot easier to succeed in a career one enjoys, all other things being equal.
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Aug 19, 2019 21:44
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Finicums Wake posted:as someone posting itt, i'd encourage you to check out your school's disability resources, and maybe submit the paperwork and poo poo to ask for accomodations in your classes. 100% this! It's a bit of paperwork, but it'll be much easier to do now while you're in better shape. Also, they tend to take you more seriously when you need extensions if you've filed with the school's disability resources long before poo poo hits the fan (should something happen). Also, some of the coolest people to talk to in my classes were the older students - they had much more interesting stories to share, and different insights.
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Aug 19, 2019 22:30
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Hi you all, how do I find myself a young therapist? As in, millennial. I don't have a therapist right now, but I'm currently in crisis with some un-medicated issues and a perfect storm of life emergencies to deal with, so it's time to get one. 8 years ago I had the last therapist that I loved going to. She was a millennial, and she really helped me improve for a few times before my school said I used up all my appointments and referred me to the university hospital. With that hospital it has been nothing but really geriatric straight white men who have never thought a single leftist thought in their entire lives, and who I felt wouldn't relate enough to anything at all in my life in terms of my career, finances, or perspective. That series of experiences stopped me from pursuing therapy for years, in spite of desperately still needing it times like now. Currently my school coverage plan is gone and I'm on a plan provided by the State of California (Covered Ca.). I found that they have a search tool online (https://www.beaconhealthoptions.com/members/find-health-care-providers/). I've been trying to strategically tweak those search parameters to find a better match but it's still no better than random luck. I thought I was on to something by searching for LGBT under "specialty" tags like someone had suggested upthread, for thinning out the herd of non-left-leaning straight white old man therapists from the results. I found a very promising looking woman nearby, but just called her office and no one answered, and her voicemail sounded like she was 90 years old. What do I do 
Happy Thread has issued a correction as of 00:35 on Aug 20, 2019 |
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Aug 20, 2019 00:31
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Tonight's theme is convincing myself yet again that because someone didn't respond to your texts today that they don't hate you, no you aren't the most boring person in the world, no they don't want to dump you forever because you're crazy, no you aren't a burden. poo poo is so goddamn pernicious, and I can't decide whether I'm more angry that I need constant validation or that I keep coming back to this same drat argument.
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Aug 20, 2019 03:27
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I hosed up at work yesterday and it has me feeling anxious af. as regular thread readers may know, i finally got a job after being unemployed for over a year about two months ago, and things have been going pretty good previously. things are really, really slow right now, slow enough that most days I don't have anything at all to do except for fire off like 10-15 emails over the course of the day, and even though I've solicited other work from people I'm mostly spending my time waiting for other people to answer emails. for example, my job is to process applications, and when we have people applying I'm working all day to transcribe their information, track down materials, calculate their relative score using our system, poo poo like that. when we don't have any applications, I don't really have an explicit role other than being a first point of contact for potential applicants and maintaining our admissions email account. my boss decided I didn't have enough to do, partially because I told her I would be happy to take on more work inbetween application cycles so I don't look too lazy, and so I've been doing various support tasks that are technically outside of my legerdemain but because everyone below a certain income threshold has "various tasks" appended to their duties in their contract, anything they ask me to do is technically "in my job description", so I haven't been complaining about being asked to do hundreds of pages of data entry farmed out from the secretary. they also asked me to contribute to our webpage so we communicate better, which is where i hosed up. i was so zoned out waiting on three people to send me materials I needed to work - my coworker information so I could answer emails, another coworker the actual documents I needed to transcribe, and the third person a list of professors - and I totally just spaced on a meeting we had about the webpage. i was literally just sitting in my office staring off into space thinking about how annoying it is that all my work is predicated on the loooooooong response times of other people, and because they changed the time, my calendar alert didn't go off and I missed it. my boss came by later and mentioned she "hadn't seen me around" that day and it suddenly struck me that I had missed it and I almost fainted. i immediately apologized and acknowledged my fuckup and she was cool about it, said it was "not a problem" since it wasn't really my thing anyway, but i feel like this was a major gently caress up since I don't get to interact with the Dean much, so now one of like ten times I've had a chance to work with her is just the time I completely missed a meeting for no good reason. this post is stupid long and almost impossibly tedious, but I just needed to engage in some helpful venting. every day i get home i get stoned and feel paranoid for like the first twenty minutes thinking about things like this, or how I didn't answer an email fast enough, or the typo I made, or whatever, and it really grinds me down because it took me a decade and two degrees to get a lovely low-tier office job making $25k after taxes and if I hosed up enough to get fired I have no idea what I'd do. I mean nobody even seemed upset about this one but I really hate feeling like I've done something wrong enough to feel existential fear
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Aug 20, 2019 13:50
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I had to have someone in to fix the boiler, and they've gone now, but I'm still so stressed about how they saw my hoarder's cave and how disgusted with me they must have been, and how I'm too ashamed to get help because I know people will look at it with disgust, and I can't handle that, nor can I handle the idea of having someone in my home to look at my personal business. Or I could clean everything myself, of course, but it seems like such a huge task and the idea just makes me feel exhausted. I think I will probably go back to bed, I didn't sleep that well knowing that a stranger was coming round. Other mad people hear a mysterious noise and worry that it's an intruder or something, but I worry that something's broken and I'm going to have to spend money or get someone in to fix it. I am too tired to do anything sensible. Sorry, I just needed to vent.
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Aug 20, 2019 14:36
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sometimes its good to approach something like that, which feels like a monumental task, by chipping away at one bit at a time as a discrete self-contained thing to do. when i was really depressed and let my space get utterly filthy, i would slowly clean it that way - one night I'd go and clean all the glasses, the next I'd dust some stuff, the third I'd put some clothes away, etc etc. it's a good way to simultaneously feel as though you are accomplishing something, actually make some progress, and not become overwhelmed trying to take on too much at once
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Aug 20, 2019 14:44
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Jollity Farm posted:I had to have someone in to fix the boiler, and they've gone now, but I'm still so stressed about how they saw my hoarder's cave and how disgusted with me they must have been.. First up- I get the same feeling and hate it. I either end up cleaning in a fury and hating myself or just leaving it and hating myself more, it's a lovely motivator and something I'm working on is mentally motivating myself with "hey it would be nice to clear up this bit so I can do something here" rather than "you disgusting lazy gently caress, look at the state of this poo poo". Slow progress. Secondly- I used to do work for electricians and handypeople and saw some poo poo like you wouldn't believe in peoples homes- it would really have to be special to even register a raised eyebrow or be remembered. Thirdly- I still feel the first just as strongly as before I did the second stuff.
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Aug 20, 2019 16:46
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I slept for several hours, and I am feeling a tiny bit better now. You're right, the whole "this is foul, you terrible person" thing is very much self-defeating in that way. So much of my illness seems to be my brain sabotaging itself. But I'm going to have some food now, that might help too.
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Aug 20, 2019 20:21
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Talk of skin picking lately: acne outbreak from nowhere, so I'm tearing my face off, it owns.
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Aug 21, 2019 00:57
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I went to my first calculus class cause that's where I tested in, and I didn't know anything, so I had to keep asking the teacher to stop and explain things, and it got so bad that people got fed up and started laughing at me, and my teacher asked how I got into a calculus class without taking trig, and I said I tested in, and everyone laughed more and I felt like an idiot and as a grown rear end man I started to cry and school is loving dumb elitist bullshit for kids with parents.
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Aug 21, 2019 03:11
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Turtlicious posted:I went to my first calculus class cause that's where I tested in, and I didn't know anything, so I had to keep asking the teacher to stop and explain things, and it got so bad that people got fed up and started laughing at me, and my teacher asked how I got into a calculus class without taking trig, and I said I tested in, and everyone laughed more and I felt like an idiot and as a grown rear end man I started to cry and school is loving dumb elitist bullshit for kids with parents. I'm sorry that happened to you, dude. But that's not elitist, it's just people being dicks and the tests being inadequate to assess you. Can you drop it and get into a trig class instead, or whatever level would be appropriate? There are also a poo poo ton of resources online to teach you math, even from the ground up, that you can use to supplement classes. Also, office hours, and maybe tutoriing. It sucks, but don't give up. Just because you can't do calculus, right now, off the bat, doesn't mean you are unable to learn it, or even use the school system to teach it to you. You just have to work your way through whatever pre-requisites you actually need. But if you were smart enough to test into it, you are 100% absolutely smart enough to learn it eventually, I promise. HELLO LADIES has issued a correction as of 03:31 on Aug 21, 2019 |
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Aug 21, 2019 03:28
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Turtlicious posted:I went to my first calculus class cause that's where I tested in, and I didn't know anything, so I had to keep asking the teacher to stop and explain things, and it got so bad that people got fed up and started laughing at me, and my teacher asked how I got into a calculus class without taking trig, and I said I tested in, and everyone laughed more and I felt like an idiot and as a grown rear end man I started to cry and school is loving dumb elitist bullshit for kids with parents. If you got calculus questions my dude(tte?) shoot me a PM, I'm rusty but I can still do a calculus
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Aug 21, 2019 03:44
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Too many things to do feeling anxiety big time
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Aug 21, 2019 08:50
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going to my doc appointment and that poo poo is always harried for me. my face and scalp are super itchy and my tics are goddamn going nuts. C'mon ativan, do your damned thing
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Aug 21, 2019 16:34
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| # ? May 28, 2024 00:36 |
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appointment complete. it is a new pcp, but she was very nice and gave me more of the drugs I wanted more of and said she'd give me a medical marijuana card after being her patient for 3 months. Score!
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Aug 21, 2019 19:23
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